We walked out into the quiet night,
Down the streets we knew
Following the dim streetlights
Seeing the shadows cast that grew.
Turning corners to a darkened place
Turn back, as your heart begins to race?
No, we have to walk straight through.

We walked onto a road of dirt,
Where the trees hung at each side
Feeling the trail beneath our feet
The ground worked from each car that had passed by.
It was calm, only nature making noise
Only thoughts to keep us company
Where nothing need be said
We walked without society talking in our heads.

We walked to the edge of the earth that night,
Looking out into the outer space
How small we seemed to it all
A couple people lost in hate and waste.
But if we could change something,
As small as the world made it seem,
To someone it may mean everything

Ten thousand hours to master a skill,
Here's ten thousand words on how i feel
Take them at face value,
My mind is trying to make my heart real.
America told me to hold onto that belief,
In a country free to have a dream.
I've got ten thousand words now,
This is all I ever wanted to be.
Pointing at myself in the mirror saying
Don't you lose that steam.

I'm creating my own space,
I've waited so long to have a taste
And i would fight to the ****** end
Anyone looking to take it away.
So while you walk through the stores
I keep tapping these keys away
Hoping one day the shelves will say my name.

Do you ever look at the power lines
Where the birds perch in flock?
Where they chatter their matters,
They sit and talk but we just hear squawks.
They don't mind we don't know, it's fine.
They're speaking in codes
And nobody notices as they go.

Do you ever listen to the deaf?
Speaking with hands, I'll admit,
I don't know the signs, that's ignorant I.
I want to know the thoughts in their heads
The barriers we build only take time
To grind down into rubble
But I'm afraid most want a self-indulgent bubble
And I'm no better, I guess.

Do you ever see a human
Who looks and speaks like you
He looks like he's having hard times
With a lot spinning up his mind
So you pass by, look to the other side,
And nevermind the bloke,
Turn to your friend after and make a joke.
And nobody notices as he goes.

Do you know how the shadows dance?
They dance just like humans do.
In the softest light, on the darkest night
There's a chance you may see them too.
With a bow of a head and an outstretched hand
They stand as close to me as you.
She pauses on sight then she accepts
Lost in a gaze, she knew.

Spinning as quick as the beat would allow
Leaping without ever leaving the ground
In a twilight, feet never making a sound.
Familiar only when no one else was around.
They stop.

As darkness creeps, he keeps her figure
From bowing out with his own
As the sun did flicker,
They disappeared into the unknown.

Ran through a pack of jackals
Then went into hiding here,
They want to know about life's shackles,
We all have those I fear.
Whether you can see them isn't clear,
But they still have you chained
Making sure you never sway lanes
And never making the chains rattle.

I'm saddled with guilt, carrying stress
Look at the paint, look at the mess.
Look at the child, look he's a man.
Keep running? Not sure if I can.
Pour on the water, all the colors ran.
Is it pretty? Is it a beautiful disaster?
Does it have the features I capture?

Would you hang me on your walls?
Say I was something you wanted to see,
Would you throw me away?
If I smiled, does that make it okay?

She washes over me like the tide,
The water feels cool on my skin
The salt burns from within.
I'm lost in the sands of time,
As the world goes rushing by
I can exist for a minute here
If I just close my eyes.

She crashes down like waves
Pulls my hands and sways
Watching as that world fades.
Does she see this place from miles away
Is it just a dream we create
Or is it life for another day?
Tell me what you see in me.

As the night falls, waters recede
As the sun sets at the sea,
So did the day where everything. Felt right.
A little piece remains there, I believe

An old diner to sit down,
Chuck's bodies are digging out the grave now
Who's got time to try to lie
When the boss had a niece
Until you blew her brains out from behind.
Quiet.
They don't know that, slow the roll back.
Take a breath and compose that,
"You don't know anything" face, show that.
Shake your head no, Sam.

Randall tells a lie to buy some time
But why?
Does it matter when evidence is climbing up
Like ladder to expose the truth.
If the bell tolls, Chuck, it's rung for you.
Keep that calm face for now,
Knowing you tied your own noose.

It's too late to turn back on anything,
It's too late to turn back on everything.

Here splits the wings that flutter
Every situation butterflies,
Then I say I'm in control.
Ryan, hold the dice in your hand.
Ryan, let them go.
Do what the situation requires,
What if I just said no?
I'm just the backstage hand nobody knows.

They say I'm more than a paycheck,
But my only function is payment.
How much do you make?
How much is your worth?
The statements feel interchangable
Go back to work, don't dream in the wake.
Have a nice day, the smile is fake.

All the pretty things around me
Remind me, I'm nothing,
I don't want your attention
Just use my life as a lesson

If I was to dream of angels,
Do you think they'd dream of me?
If I hoped one day of flight,
Would one offer me it's wings?
Could I fly like Peter Pan from where I stand
Pixie dust, believe, and never land?
In Neverland, the sands of time would surely stop
Would that be the world I've sought?

If I was to dream of something special,
I'd only want it special to me.
Where each the other saw oysters,
I would see pearls with perfect flaws
Enthralled in a find, I let just be mine
Never speaking of what made in shine.

If I was to live in this world to old age,
That's silly to think or speak
Because I've had it been told, old dogs,
They aren't made for the weak.
But if I did make it, somehow statistically faked it.
I would sit out in the world and just breath.

Where's your home, kid?
I don't know, man, where do I live?
Where do I have a place to breath?
Out here staring at the trees
And they're telling me I should leave.
Maybe they're right, in hindsight,
Maybe I'm not right.

Sleep on a couch, sleep in a car
Somewhere in there, I lost who I am,
Somewhere in there, I lost what we are.
Staring at the sun, staring up at the stars
If I just run I don't know how far.
How many steps until I'm just numb?
Cooked to bone because people like me
Don't get finished, we get done.

Follow a dream, lose everyone.

What kind of protest do you accept?
In what way is anyone allowed to express?
Do you want a riot with blades and guns,
Police beating them back for fun
Shoot up the streets, let them run?
Broken glass smashed on the old store fronts
Holding signs to get beaten down
Like we all have a message,
Silence it before the media comes.

What if they kneeled for your flag
In respect to those who were treated unjust.
It's peaceful but you still kick up dust.
They push back to say all matter
But they don't see this white double standard.
How can you say who's oppressed
When it isn't your race being addressed?

They want to build walls,
I'm hoping to build bridges.
You're Asian, Latina, African, Muslim, religious?
You deserve every right I've got.
Don't let anyone stop you, come get it
Sincerely, a white man so they give me privilege.
That's messed up isn't it?

I murdered my mattress with a clean shot,
Left my dreams in a vacant lot
And told them reality would dig their plot.
The thoughts heighten, when I'm enlightened
Feeling like I'm close to fame
But even if everyone looked up to me
I would still hate myself all the same.
Forget the money, it does mean nothing.
I'd rather pour it down the drain.
I'm not winning if this life is a game.

I'm tired,
I'm tired of working a dead end position
I'm tired of phone calls that ring until I listen
A smile that while looks good on my face,
I feel eight hours a day, like a waste.
I'm bored, nothing arises,
The problems, nothing surprises.
Stuck here even as I write this.

At home, I wanted to be, the father my father wasn't to me
But how can I look any better
When all I was given were tattered genes.
To stand on a mountain and feel like a king
But it's raining outside,
The mountains are starting to sink.

I'm sitting on the bathroom floor,
Eyes closed, head low
Drowning in so much emotion,
No one knows.
They say that i should just be strong
Looking at my tired arms
My atlas bent from trying to push on
And i lack the mental prowess to carry on.
As my hand reaches to grip the pencil tip,
I write my own swan song.
I write my own swan song

Here's a poem to the world,
You've been calling my name out loud
I'm ready to write you back now.
I'm ready to tell everything right now.
I'm sick of making excuses,
Wrapping my passion up in killer nooses
Pretending this job is more important
But it's just money and a nuisance.
I'll tie myself to these keys
Because I need myself to be abusive.

You gave me these skills to tell a story,
I'm on that fast track to beat it out
I don't want the fame or glory
But these veins need to bleed it out.
I never believed in my being
But the fire your seeing isn't going out like candles
If you've got a buck, sir, I'm not a gamble.

Crack the locks to a dream life
Where I sit looking at those stars each night.

I spend my nights dreaming,
I spend my days dreaming too.
I don't need your reality
Don't mind my mentality,
I get it, you think different.
I'm looking at life to live it,
Amazed they didn't **** me yet.

I sold my soul to the devil,
Then doubled down with all the gods
I told them i had nothing to lose
I'm not confused,
I've got that American dream
But I've got all those same struggles too.
I'm going full steam ahead,
Falling over before I can reach the bed.

I stay up late sacrificing sleep,
Spill the blood of the counted sheep
And ignore my eyes trying to creep closed
They tell me it's the only way
When you have nothing, they find your gold
When you have nothing, you can still be sold.

The job is done now, see.
You let your mind start to race,
Where a clear conscious once stood,
Death sits calmly in its place.
You look in the mirror to see a bit clearer.
How did we get here so fast?
Retrace a memory from the past.

In a job you didn't like,
You took for your family, that's clear,
All the cards were laid just right,
I can hear that phone ringing from here.
Miss Fitch was coming in hot
So you came back screaming on that wire,
Took a job in shady dealings.
One phone call and you're fired.

Now you're home, act natural.
Smile at all those right places
It was a trigger you had to pull,
Inside an internal war, he faces
Just don't look back, that's the present trick
Or your own mind may make you sick.

I bet you feel broken,
I bet something made you feel broken
You speak about past demons
Like they hang on your back
Holding your eyelids open
Never knowing you haven't even awoken.
Like the sun isn't setting 92 million miles away
Allowing you to accept the new day.

Regret yourself having a past?
Allow yourself to have a future
I've looked in the same mirror,
It shows a scared child, a damaged man
I'm nothing better than any.
I circumvent my own short comings
Trying to lend a hand to any
That will allow me theirs.

When the mirror crashes to the floor
And pieces scatter in disarray
We can lay them out and glue them back
Into something beautifully new.
Perfection of you, is defined in you.
Never forget the real truth.

Dizzy head woke up today,
He's spinning the world away.
All a busy blur with no cure,
Nothing to learn, nothing to gain
Another day of spinning all the same,
He wonders if he could focus,
Would they let him dream?

Dizzy is he, he sits behind a desk,
Wanted to do something more
But instead he just sits in subtle rest.
He showed off the art
Of all the spinny places he had been
They gave a look and traded his paints for pens.
Dizzy never showed his heart again.

Dizzy, did he, wanted to turn the tables
Sat in silence waiting for tables to turn
Learned a career, then never learned again.
Dizzy stopped spinning
Sitting behind a stationary chair and desk

Twenty seven club is coming up
I'd worry they'd take me out
But fame isn't looking to erupt.
I'm just the one who kept breathing fine,
Walked out of the hospital too many times,
Too many times.
What's the point, I'm searching for purpose
I'm looking for someone to say that I'm not worthless
Stuck pouring from a mangled mind.

I drink too much caffeine,
Keep wearing my skin so thin
They wonder where my bones have been.
Here's my thoughts I jot to sleep
Here's the beep that wakes when morning creeps.
****, my mind's a cloud in weightless air,
Floating up to know why I'm here.

They want a story, here's a life
Pull back my layers and read the chapters
The television pollutes the ones it captures
They asked where's the rapture?
Sir, we are our own rapture.
Look at the mess we left after.
Leave this mess for a generation after.

There's glass between our beings,
A whole life I couldn't touch,
Eyes that saw my soul each day
With a heart that made mine rush.
A smile that I couldn't see, around it,
Cheeks I had never seen blush.
But for now knowing was enough.

There are waves that crash inside me,
The same ones you watch come down.
Talking through an ocean
Of life's trouble each us found.
But I swim for you, you swim for me
Watching through clear frames
Being sure neither of us drowns.

They put glass between our bodies
So I waved you back a bit,
Smiling to your approval
Turning my digits to a fist.
Pounding ******, pounding broken.
Reaching in to pull you out,
Reaching out to pull you in,
Never did I let you go again.

Hannah doesn't dream,
That's what I've heard at least
She lies in a small cold bed
Where sugar plums aren't dancing,
Closing her eyes behind her head
She sleeps until the morning fills
The room with anything but black
Standing up, another day, just trapped.

Hannah doesn't dream,
Not a sheep, a blink, or wink.
But last night she made a song
To the drips of the bathroom sink.
She told me of a real place,
Unlike the dancing going through my skull
It sounds like home, only more magical.

Hannah doesn't dream,
She sees the beauty in the awake,
The sky, the sun, the leaves,
The whisper as the wind cuts through the trees.
Hannah doesn't dream,
She doesn't need to it seems

"Save me" that what his sign said,
Did he want cash or a place to crash?
Maybe to talk and have a couple laughs
Makes no difference, another car,
Another car drove right past
Yelling hateful words like he deserves it
With sad eyes, you never wonder how your words hit.
He's already a failure in his eyes
You don't want to see through his eyes.

"Save me" he holds up a cardboard slate,
He's asking before it says "too late"
Don't mind the appearance, he's a good soul.
He fell down when the economy was low.
Threw his retirement to the fire,
Threw his body at drugs and alcohol.
Now he has no place to go.

"Save me" his sign is getting worn out
"Go get a job!" They shout him down.
The next time I turned the corner,
That old man was nowhere to be found.

Chuck and I have been talking,
He says he's nervous to shoot,
I've got him strapped with a mean 22.
I told him the road he's going down,
There's no happy ending here
The angel was the first sign,
The waters ahead don't look clear

This is the calm, the storm is coming,
Better fix the windows while you can
Because, Chucky, the roof is about to leak
I warn you, we aren't going back to Sam.
Enjoy your peace in the moment,
Keep the liquor flowing and lit
But, we are about to sober up quick.

Those bodies aren't sitting in silence,
Quiet, you can hear their voices still
You've got a gun for quick violence,
They've got slow plans to ****

I sleep like I'm living on Elm St,
Changed my last name from Maroni to Myers
Now Michael is looking to **** me.
Ended up running from Leatherface
Put to a ****** Doo kind of chase,
No matter how hard I tried,
He wouldn't stop until he tanned my hide.

I sold a prop from Twilight Zone,
To a Hannibal, hungry clone
Who was looking to "serve man"
He learned julienne clipper cuts
From a guy with scissors for hands.
Then cooked the flesh in a pastry dish
Into the oven each person would slide
"Come and try Mrs. Lovett's meat pies!"
The business would rise as they all got in line.

I sat down for tea with Pamela,
She said her son Jason's a mess
That was Thursday, the twelfth,
I haven't heard from her since.
But if I was that parent,
I would teach my child to swim.
I took some forget-me-knots
Mixed them together with frog's breath,
Said the word "hopscotch"
And returned to the dead.

I'm not sure how to tell you this
While you sleep without my touch,
While you sleep not knowing my kiss,
I close my eyes and it's you I'm with.
There is no grand gesture I crave,
No exaggeration I have let my mind slip
Just the chance to part your hair from your forehead.
The thought leaves me a slave to you
With ropes I allow to be knotted through.

You once asked me to describe your soul,
Like poker, I took my cards to fold.
Words weren't created in your favor,
They put a standard to your features,
Masked beauty by insecurity to come later.
But if your soul could ever find a home,
In me, I would hold and never let go.
I could never describe it though,
The light it would show could swallow me whole.

I'm not sure if I have words that can sit
In a place next to your being
To compliment would be to criticize
The words coming out of my mouth  fleeting
Like my heart, fast-paced beating
In a moment to hold your attention,
Your gaze, your hand, your body.
I would take hold of whatever you allowed me.

You better make room at the top,
If not I'll push my way into the crowd
I'm not going to stop, not asking if I'm allowed.
They'll read my name in the paper, watch me.
I'll be the reason you spit your morning coffee.
That odd kid made a best seller,
That weird kid sold up and isn't so lame.
Unfortunately they still don't know my name.

I've been chasing a beautiful success
Long before you even had a cerebral cortex,
The problem with you is you're thinking backwards.
I'm a different sort of intellectual awesome
If you can't see that, I'll saw you in half
Starting right at the corpus callosum.
Or I'll just keeping being me
Tap the first domino and watch the rest
Scattering across the floor in a mess.

I joke about never making it there
I'm afraid I'll never get noticed
The truth is, I write everyday
Just to hope today is the day
That I wake up to minimal fame
And someday, someone will write me a letter
To tell me how something I wrote
Made their life change
But today I'll stay unnoticed

What if everyone went speaking their mind?
What if we broke the silly social walls?
How come we ask how people are,
When we don't want to know?
Does it help you to hear the words "I'm fine"?

How come we diss people with a dream?
Are you jealous you conformed and they schemed?
How come money determines worth?
Even worse some come with a fame at birth.
I'd rather be broke than broken.
I'd rather be speaking than spoken for.
I'd rather eat marshmallows than s'mores
I don't need the chocolate. Whatever.

What if we danced in the street?
I already dance in the street
And while your mind is drifting, driving away
If you hit me dancing, I'd wave and say it's ok.
But really, I won't sue you just make sure I'm ok? Ok.

What if people became famous for poetry?
What if I become famous for, I'm kidding.
If you know of me, I'd give all the money away.
Maybe I'd keep a little to retire today

I want to write you something perfect
For every perfect moment you gave me.
You helped me everytime I was down,
Just you and I with music cranked loud.
You were worth every dollar I gave you,
You were worth all the grief you gave me.

Do you remember when we got high
At a dead end street in a development?
Do you remember when we felt low,
Rolled down all the windows,
And sang so loud that the people would stare.
It feels like we were always in a rush,
You were the reason I stopped taking
That toxic number four bus,
It made me so sick, I would get in the door,
And just throw up.

You were the wingman no one noticed,
You were the therapy I never went to,
All the loses and victories, you were there.
Every obstacle I ever pushed passed,
Everytime I felt like a failure,
Putting my head on your dash.
All the nights I laid out with you
Just watching the stars and moon.
Although it's been more than a decade,
With you, it still feels too soon

It's all turning to fluid,
It's all washing down.
The gutters that clutter the street
Are sloshing everything south,
The pipes unseen are having a feast.
Feeding off the emotions of a cowardly beast.

Nobody noticed, nobody tended to care
Just go to work, don't come home,
Just stay there. You're a **** up.
You need to get a bit more mature,
You need to earn so much more
Then you might have a place to exist.
Then you might have a place to live.

I bet they see this smile,
I bet they see the dark circles on my face.
Who should I be kidding, it's all fake.
Slaving life, am I even awake?

Are you scared? I'm terrified.
Standing among gods as men
With shivers dripping down our spines,
Hairs standing end to end.
Wondering the fates we made
Laying everything on the line.
But the world doesn't love a hero,
They cheer secretly for villains.

Are you scared? I'm petrified.
Dancing on knife tips to survive
Quicker and quicker or the blades sink
Quicker and quicker, don't think.
This is what it's like to be alive
Don't lose your concentration
They'll **** you for complacence.

Are you scared? I'm trying not to be.

Do you think
Anyone will ever read what I write
With the same passion i wrote it?
Do you think they'll have tears in their eyes
In the parts it feels my mind is imploding?
Would they feel how long I stared at an open page
While they stare out at this paper
Like a well lit stage

Right before the world ends,
I wonder if people will still hate,
If they would try to fix the mess
Or simply still cast blame.
I wonder if they'll forgive old pain,
Let hurt fall from their chest,
Or be angry until damnation came
With every thought they had left.

Right before the world ends,
Would you care which people came from where?
Would you care about documentation
For those who wanted better life and found it here?
Would their skin color make them less human?
Would you hate them, would you dare?
What about ****** preference?
Do we hope they get scorched too?
I'm a dying human, tell me what are you?

Right before your world ends,
Did you think about the traffic jam,
How much money you had earned,
How about your makeup and hair?
I bet you thought of someone you loved,
Hoping to see them there...
Right before the world ends,
You'll never see it coming
So why not make that change today
Instead of filling the world with hate.

She sees the walls like iron bars,
Dreams of big dreams but she's on a leash
So even when she pleas, she isn't going far.
What if she leaves, makes like the trees.
I bet she'd see how lovely the world could be.
They use to say her head's in the clouds
But I know she really saw stars.
I know she lived in the stars.

The world appears vast and unknown,
In comfort, it's easy but the door stays closed,
She feels alone but ready to grow
Don't come too close, don't come too close,
Push away those thoughts, leave me alone.
So everyone does and she's left in her zone.

Until one day she sees her leash
For all its real abuse, she bows her head,
And removes that age old noose.
For the first time, in a long time she can see.
America can be beautiful,
America can be free.

What is a poet?
You're looking at me with eyes like I know,
Don't ask me, ask the kid who wrote,
He would tell you he just wanted to cope.
Raised in a place that only grew mold
So he closed his eyes and dreamed of gold,
He closed his eyes and made empty pages whole.
That's the only way I learned to grow.

Dad split, mom had to work late,
Dealing with a mental hell from everything I ate.
I found an outlet before it was too late.
The lights don't stay on just because you pay the bills,
You have to maintain the structure to keep the build.
The world will function fine with your empty space
But there will always be a person who will miss your face.

What is a poet? Don't look to me.
I was just a troubled kid in need.
I only penned up a pad to let it spill,
Outside of these walls, I don't say how I feel.
Let the ink bleed then let it be done,
What is a poet? Certainly, that can be anyone.

It seems like the largest homes
Have the most broken family.
Look at all the stuff, it can't fill the hole,
You are still alone, while I get a loan,
You can't get along, I am barely standing.
Afraid, they buy up safes and guns,
Afraid, while the children get bored and high off drugs.
They do it to escape their minds,
They buy designer drugs to pass the time.
Then once all the fun is done,
They go back to an empty mansion.
Return to responsibilities then remember,
They don't have them.

I represent a lower middle class,
People ask me what is that,
They don't understand.
Let me explain like this,
I don't qualify for assistance, I don't collect stamps,
I can't afford a *** to **** in,
I've got debt from the world just spinning.
I'm not upset, I keep my head to stay modest.
But I still feel the shackles of life, if I'm being honest.

Every person shakes your hand and smiles,
With a knife to hold, you sell your soul.
The tiny printed stamp goes on for miles.
They only let you get ahead once you break the bread,
That holds your morals and convictions,
Then turn and give the same hand shake,
To the next man who will listen.

They say pain is better than feeling nothing,
But nothing feels worse than pain.
She was just an innocent woman,
All that changed in a day,
Her husband came home upset.
They argued and he slapped her face to the floor.
She was left in shock,
started packing her things and out the door
He gained a level head, apologizing evermore.
She started making excuses and stayed
But if it ever happened again she swore,
She wouldn't live there anymore.

It's been years since that first time,
Just a couple bruises no one sees,
She keeps messing everything up,
So she deserves what she received.
A couple shots to her ribs,
A tight jab just above the knee.
Even if she wanted to go,
He says, he can always find me
"And I'm happy sometimes,
As long as I do everything perfectly"
But if she ever had a chance she swore,
She wouldn't live there anymore.

She wakes up early just to put on her face,
Staring into a mirror, breaking down with the shakes.
She can't count the bruises, the pain in every place.
Everyone knows the truth but, it seems too late.
She needs help but everywhere is out of reach,
She's broken down with a split lip affecting her speech.
Someday she would speak out, right then, she swore
She wouldn't live there anymore.

Then one night he went too far,
She was packing up her things,
He saw crimson, blood boiled to the core
She started pleading with every shot he bore.
They say pain is better than feeling nothing
But nothing feels worse than pain, she's sure.
As he took a final blow, she wasn't living anymore.

I'm sick of being the good guy,
With intentions that you may like.
I'm tired of being supportive,
Because sometimes you really aren't right.
I'm afraid if I open the cage,
The lid won't close quite as tight.
If I let this world see my rage,
They will see me in a different light.

I've wrote about my father before,
It's been a war that I've fought since ten
But I was sick of seeing a devil play victim,
So I wrote him one last letter
And deleted him out of my life again.
I can curse in times when I'm ******,
It's real ******* nice to be free. I promise,
the next person who thinks I'm looking for privilege,
When I talk of my allergies.
Will get uppercut so many times they will only look up to see,
I'm a survivor, not a victim
So kindly shove off if you'd please.

People love to be supportive,
They read one thing I wrote,
You should get published,
All these people would love it,
Would you buy a copy? Well, no.
But imagine who would!
You might make fortune and fame.
That's funny, I will save my money,
But I love the dreamy game
I should tell, I know who would buy it,
Even if I don't publish, my mother still loves me the same.

We all sell our soul,
We all sit with a price, you can deny it.
Try and hide it until the dice come to roll,
Shaking that hand, in the highest of highs,
You may notice that the opposing palm feels cold.
We all have crosses, three nails to keep hold.
Then pretend we have worth over another,
What did you feel was gold?

Did you take out six figures for education?
They said you'll find success,
Only to answer to another just like the rest.
Play a lottery daily, dreaming to make it big
While a government eats off your dollar
No wonder, Chihiro's parents turned to pigs.
Or maybe you sat behind a screen,
Writing like you hold the key
But really you're another pawn. Just like me.

They made money just to hold them up
They made money just to hold us down
If there isn't a hierarchy, why do some wear crowns?
Why do rich wage wars on recessive nights
And then point at the poor boy, "go fight"
Then make you a villain if you don't score.
By the time you catch a moment of that truth,
You realize it doesn't matter anymore.

"Hey how have you been?"
Let me think, with a smile,
Just say I am well, let's have a seat.
Here's a real answer, it just may take a while.
Spare me a minute if you could.

I've been selling drugs for six years,
About re-up another two,
I'm at the top of my game,
Minimum wage seems to go up,
I get compensated all the same.
I've been watching my worth diminish,
Another blow to the ego, another questioning why?
Another person asking why I even try.
I've been a hand me down, hand out case
And I'll never go back to that.

One person asking why my wife doesn't work
Another proud that we make that work.
No matter what path you take,
You'll disappoint someone all the same.
If you aren't a player in my life,
Kindly stay out of my lane.
That's no disrespect, I get your intentions,
Your opinion may prove better with wait
But if that's the case, I accept all my mistakes.

Some weeks I feel exhausted,
Some days I pass out in bed,
Most days poetic thoughts flood my head
But I can say I am well
I could say I'm broken, I could say I'm complete
I could fall over and cry
But most days I keep dancing to a beat
Even when it's been 12 hours on my feet
Call me anything but I'll never be weak.
I can feel it all simultaneously and all be true
But I guess that's enough about me,
How are you?

Remember when you would grab your favorite record?
The snaps and pops as the music would start,
Jumping up and down on the floor,
The dancing made the record hop,
Those scratches made the record stick
With that 45 adapter to capture that one song
That kept you spinning, spinning until gone.

Remember that cassette in your car
Over played to a point of obsession,
The tape would squeal to teach you that lesson.
The tape would unwind at the worst time.
Like a surgeon you grab a pencil
Spin it around until every piece of film
Hits the reel back into place.

Remember the CD you played,
Laying down in your bed
Did you look up at the ceiling?
I looked through the artwork instead.
Scratches only came while carrying it through life
Until something new comes into light.

I'm listening to these files,
Dragged and dropped to device
Every song sounds flawless,
Every song in lossless flac
But to let that original record keep spinning
I'd give it all back.

I wanted to write a masterpiece
Here's a page of my life,
What do you think of this?
Nobody is asking to read more
But if I didn't have these paper sheets
I don't think I'd be living anymore.
Here's the time I almost choked and died,
Ate the wrong thing and saw flat lines
And although I've written about it before,
Sometimes it feels like a war
So I write it again to pull that fear from my core.

I wanted to write a masterpiece
So my father might say he's proud
I spent my whole childhood working for it.
As an adult he gave me that line
And all i could feel was that he wasn't allowed.
My mother told me she was proud
And I felt like I was on skyscraper,
But when you're on top you can only go down.
No one ever speaks of your success
Until you're back broken on the ground.

I wanted to write a masterpiece
So here's 500 times I felt low
Here's another 500 I was able to grow
Here's every piece of life I've known.
Here's a masterpiece, I'll light it in flames
I'm just a human born to be lame
So keep the trophy I just wanted to play the game.
Get off that bench and quit the team,
We are all born from that same cloth
But I'm ready to rip the seams.

I wanted to be a masterpiece,
Not just a simple piece or a pawn
I want to be a masterpiece
Before they take me out and I'm gone.

We all wander, don't bother.
I don't need direction, don't need the answer.
Stop staring with question, I'm not a lesson.
I go through life without a plan B
Yet if you notice my limbs,
You may not know how I'm standing.
Jumping from feats like a legless cat,
I just pray that I'm landing.
If this map doesn't work out,
Then I'm just another dream they were right to doubt.

Ignore me, come on, abuse me.
My body is ready for another internal bruising.
You want to conjure memories
I'll blast off with super Saiyan energy
Push me with every bone and muscle,
I'm a poet, I don't need to go and tussle
I'll pound you down with leaded ground
You won't see the shots I rapidly land
Just know my power level is over nine thousand.

I've got scars I forgot existed,
The kind people hear in defensive laugh.
The kind if given a similar treatment, deployed.
I'll line up every shot for you, destroyed
Don't apologise, I've swatted bigger webs of lies.
I never hold a grudge and never have tried
But I'd rather see you crucified.

I remember slow nights
Sitting up on Daly Hill
Where the air always felt a bit colder
Across my skin leaving chills.
I would lay down looking up,
The stars would lay up looking down
No people, just all the nature
Stirring from the trees around.
Just a kid with a notebook,
Just a kid with a dream,
Waiting for life to enter the scene.

I wasn't looking for answers there,
I lacked the knowledge of questions to ask.
But life only leaves you wondering
When time has already past.
If I could paint it out as a picture,
I wouldn't and can't.
You just have to be there,
In a place where the world feels still
Looking over nothing, up on Daly Hill.

Too Much Caffeine in the Poetry

My brain feels spun,
The other kids are having fun.
I'm not sure what direction I'm on.
Should I be playing, slaying, laying down
I don't let the ground hold me up.
I sip apple juice from a Lego cup
Then let my thoughts erupt.
Blow off my mind, it's dusty
But I'll be a quick spitter like Rusty
The pinch hitter who lost the game
Still dancing all the same.
Oh and you just lost the game.

I'm sorry, I'm not sorry.
The engines are not starting,
The cylinders should be firing
Though now expiring, into nothing.
It's not snow, it's just a dusting.
I have a two, a five, a seven, jack and queen,
In other words, I am absolutely bluffing.
The suit does not match the shoes that
I wore to score a date too late.
Miss Cinderella it's half past eight
And those glass shoes are positively fake.

Today I wrote nothing,
Mistrusted my hand to stand on it's own
But Mr. Right, I was wrong.
You need to leave the page alone.
Today, I drank a drink that made me think
I'd never stop the twitching hop
My mind had surely bled
And left this mess before I went to bed.

I never thought I'd be one to be growing old
I've got a wife and a kid,
A younger me would have never known.
Instead I'm grieving some friends
Who never got the the chance to grow.
I use to think I could smell my grave,
Now I'm some backwards slave
Chained up in survivor's guilt
Like playing a lottery of life
Survive long enough to watch them die
Or die too quick to really live.

If I should cough and choke,
I hope they burn me off in colored smoke
Because even in dark, I hope they see light.
I made my mark in lead,
Through words slipping out of my head.
Like I had a choice?
They make me push that voice
And share it in the dead of night
Where the skeletons shuffle through
Then awaken myself into anew.

They won't know my name until I go,
Won't understand the words I'd sew.
Treated with kindness when gone,
Treated with scrutiny when alive,
It's like standing on a highdive
All silence until you crash,
Then it's all laughter and cheer.
But why don't we appreciate the day it's here?
I'm sure that answer will become clear.

Sometimes when I look at myself in a mirror,
I picture me up for bid at an auction house.
Describe the condition of the item,
All the buyers are coming out.
I am not exceptional, acceptable.
A twenty something Chandler Bing in present tense.
Look he uses jokes at his defense.

I see he functions pretty well
But the description has a lot tell,
If he should inhale a certain smell
He could drop dead.
It's like a wild card, the bids would start
Questions fired, they aren't going far.
How's his education, how about social relations?
Opening my mouth to answer,
They aren't waiting.

I heard he went to college!
Oh, I heard that he dropped out.
I heard he never misses work,
I heard that's the only time he goes out.
Does he eat, there isn't much meat on his bones?
Maybe he should grow ****** hair,
Maybe he won't.

I leave the mirror,
I have work in a moment.

I wonder if they have a plan for me,
I bet they thought I'd make big change
Instead of spending my time dancing in the rain.
They probably had a career in mind
With a golden etched name plate
Let me write their map and see
If I have the steps straight.

Go to school and get good grades
To pay a lot to school some more
To jump out into a world they didn't prepare me for.
Nobody wants my degree, the market's flooding.
It's not about what I know, who I know is no one.
Remember you're doing this for the money,
You're doing this for the security
And they're ready to own you for it.

It's like seeing a sign that says chips for shots
I'd rather hold my pride than give in to a drop
I'd help break the bar for that kind of dealing
It just shows how quick heroes turn to villains
Depending the eyes you see through
In the distance of all of that chaos
There's a voice in the back of my head yelling,
"Just be you"

Start introductions with respect
And let the response be a guide to how you proceed.
Don't judge people by their appearance,
I've met some of the most honest people without a penny to their name
And some of the most crooked people dressed in suits with a firm handshake.
Try to go to sleep every night without anger
And wake up every morning the same.
Make time to do something you love
Between all the obligations you have to do.

Learn a little about a lot of religions,
You might realize everyone is searching the same.
There is enough hate in the world without
Racism, bigotry, or a non-violent personal choice.
Don't worry about everyone else
Or you may lose sight of yourself.
Try to adapt with the world around you
But know when to hold your ground
Because some convictions aren't worth breaking
While others only exist like worn grooves.

Do something nice with no expectation
For your own personal being.
If you have the opportunity to pay life forward
You may be in a better position than the one you helped
And you are owed nothing for being kind.

It's okay to take advice from strangers
But always take it with a grain of salt
Because they are not in your same position
And you are not in their position either.

I've been driving down the same streets
Been tapping my foot to the same beat
I don't know, friend, maybe it's just me but,
Every path that I lead,
Every place I go and then leave,
It all feels the same, the players don't change.
Doesn't it seem strange?
They've been mapping out my path since first grade.
They had a plan for me before I even played.
No?

I've been driving down the streets I paved,
Take a look at my world, friend,
Everything you see, I made.
I don't not believe in some force of fate
But nothing ever changed for people
Stuck living in a wait.
While the players never seem to change,
Look deep inside my eyes, I've changed.
While they give reasons in comfort to stay,
I'm ready for a new game to play.

If you neglect all the perspective,
You neglect your potential.
Staring down at my tip-less pencil
"You're broken and useless"
Sharpen your image and mind
And let's do this.
Look into the looking glass, take a breath,
Looking back at a beautiful mess.

I've had a cut in my brain for a while,
Put a bandage on it but words still leak out
Drew some scars on my side
So I've got some phantom pain now
I might be a spaz, working really fast
"I wish I had an ounce of your energy"
Once that wish was granted,
They might see that they can't stand it,
I can't sit still, I can't just chill.
Even when my body is in stasis,
My heart is racing, my mind is chasing
Like kids playing games in a school yard
Then I just runoff like a sentence
But I never get too...

Far from perfect but worth a second glance
Adrenaline pumping, I'm on my twenty something chance
I've been dancing with the devil
And I could swear I saw Goodie Proctor there
I put my pedal to the metal,
Hit a witch switch and blew off the witch's hat
Then jumped through the golden vase.
Getting jiggy in my own craft.

I'm glad I have today,
I would love to see tomorrow too
Every day is someone's last
I just hope it's not me, or you.