what you believe in will be tested !
like gold in fire

so the word for you folks tonight
to the mother who's struggling to make ends meet with two jobs
to the father who is struggling to put away his addictions that seem to win every waking second
to the girl who wishes she was someone else
...
i'm here to tell you even in  your circumstances
even when times when waves come crashing at you
and you can't find the strength to swim
...
His hands are faithful
he will pull you out of the mud and put you on level rock !
steadfast is his love
trust
...
say goodbye , step out of the past

Psalms 27:4
One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.

and so like maggots my life has become
this dead rotting
ohh noo ... please not death
i feel him coming near , he reaches out
i feel his cold breath ... i gasp
i reach out !
.............
to nothing
to darkness
to lost dizzy spaces
this low deep dark ..place
this dead ....this death ... of something
in me .....
when did you stray >?
or start to decay ?
when did you lose the very thing
you knew !!
yes you
knew better .... yet with
simple smiles and wiles
you gave in
you bowed down ... to another master
to someone else
you gave your blood for him to drink
when he didn't even care to think
- the thoughts
you lay
you stay up
in awakening dreams
reliving your regret
stuck .....
death.

miracles happen when you expect them to happen

life is always worth living , hang on . x

they said you can only love someone
if you first love yourself
but i loved you
long before i ever
loved myself

hello
my name is ...

She paints her face to hide her face. Her eyes are deep water. It is not for Geisha to want. It is not for geisha to feel. Geisha is an artist of the floating world. She dances, she sings. She entertains you, whatever you want. The rest is shadows, the rest is secret. ~ memoirs of a Geisha

The sun so bright the epitome of life
Contrasting dark green coconut leaves
And white sands blue seas
Fiji
The place where hearts keep dreams. ..
.
Come see :)

my pen
dark inky black
My mind swirls down
in slow descent
into the empty
into sounds of loud echoing



void
grief
disbelief...
the death of me ...

.
yours sincerely
-silent dream

how do you **** a turtle
nobody else knows
if you cut off its limbs
behold his tears will flow
what a sad sight to behold
turtles start to tear
does anyone know ******* a turtle
nobody else knows


does anybody know ******* a turtle
nobody else knows
they cut his head
to feel less guilty instead
i watched as my uncles separate
his body from his head


does anybody know ******* a turtle
what a sad sight to behold
when they cut open his chest
to find heart beating bold
tears streamed down my face
as i
cannot begin to comprehend
how some people
condone such horrid acts
nobody knows ******* a turtle
it was never meant to be killed

the wet coconut leaves
glistened in the moonlight
Telling stories of the life
I once lived
the sea calls me
To the deep
The wind sings me to sleep
only to dance under the moonlight in blissful dreams


i dove in the glistening ocean
alive at night
breath in deep, the salty air
oh what precious  delight

down to where the clams open
and glowing fishes live
i find my home now
i finish my trip

#death #of #a #star

can you differentiate pain ?
and rate it according to your own scales
can you measure it by age or race
who doesn't know pain ?  
because we have all felt pain
it does not segregate
and so is love

should supercede the rest

the time line crosses the center of my country
the time in my country runs slow
my country is the first news paper everyday
is the first to say morning  today
is the first to say hello to the sun each day

my country is a country laid back
its people colorful like rays of sun
my country is a nation under the sun

gleaming amber
like light
your face doth shine .
radiance ,
divine <3

the grey ceiling in my room
makes me feel sad
the first things that my eyes
have seen for twenty straight  years
now i dread looking up
i look down instead   ...

the earth rotates
in orbit
suspends
flying comets
follow route

creepy moss that hide in dark spots
on creaked roads and river ponds
slimy green and even brick red
they are the first terrestrials ...or so , Ive read

the stages in which a fish walks on land
or  how earthquakes move continents
and how movements cause formation of land
that millions of cells died regenerated to birth new plan

that stars died for earth to be reborn ..
that there is no right or wrong
that i have no such a purpose but to exist
that life is an empty and a meaningless abbis

that the rays of the sun so colorfully stream  
are shooting down at precision speed
that the rotation and direction of our earth spins
in nothing but chances ......by them we live

although facts upon facts , they reach
never coming to conclusions , they teach ....


how can we just be
an anomaly of evolution and astrophysics
how can we be
so complex ...feel ?(thoughts , emotions , ideas ?..)
or is it just chemicals that control our
actions and the turning of the wheels ?

the full clouds of July
  are messages of
  hope for thirsty bones

i found my life
when i laid it down
i touch the skies
when my knees hit the ground

10 words


time escaping
time poured forth placing  
life goes by ....fading

the noise
people sitting
over there
sounds
keyboard
ringing
white board
Natasha said ...

a scarf
sun glass
indoors
odd


white t-shirt
charlie wears
laboratory

flash backs
hidden lights
inky hands

don't spend time talking about insane nonsense
that have no worth , like unsalted salt
that hold  no use but  to be trampled on and lost  
  mouths speak sentences...
....stop think , collaborate thoughts
speak words of gold that cannot be bought
speak life to those who seem dim and distraught
use words to build someone up when others may not

speak less , don't loss your head
don't give in to insane mumble
for they only profit negativity
and just not good for you piece of mind and clarity  
treat words like swords or beautiful dances
or like skillfully woven fabric or sweet romances

resurrect the words that live in old scrolls
that collect dust , oh words of gold
and wrap them on your finger for memories collecting
keep them close to your heart forever perfecting

the ***** , the ugly
the appalling rot
that maggots hide deep
within the deep dark spots

the dark, the wet
the creepy earth
the hideous fungi  
in waste , in foul air in  ....damp cold
places where worms live
and icy fingers grip hold
where dark demons possess
your very soul

the slimy excretions of toads
with mucus generously
shared   
on tiny tip feet walks
toads in curious stare

lord , how can you understand me ?
how can you relate?
the pain i face almost everyday ?
lord, why me ...why do i only hate?..
if I'm under your guidance ,..
why can't i feel your embrace ?...


i walked the path you walked
and i understand your grief all too well
but remember your not alone
you have my guiding help

know that the things you faced were painful
and i wept that it hurt you so
but it was allowed to shape your heart
so into my likeness you'd grow

but lord!!... lord what if i fall
what if I'm not good enough for your call ??.
then i will pick you up and help you to walk
but ...but ...lord ... what if i fall again?
and fall again ??....
          
        then
                     i
                               will
                                                pick
           ­                                                 you
                                                                ­             up ...

when i was young
i thought i was ugly
i thought i was nothing
everyday was a shady grey
breathing in hopelessness
forever utterly dismayed ...

everyone loathed me
or so it seem
my family couldn't bear look
at me
i.. the lonely she


till i met HIM
and my whole life changed
LOVE ...love is his name
for it was because of love you came

water sparkled
clear like glass
water travelled to heal
the broken downcast
water flowing from head
down to toes
water beautiful
to everyone who beholds

i saw you the other day
and you tried to stop
me to say
that you liked to practice
with me some day ....
some words you thought
gelled with your thoughts

but i was in a rush
kept on walking
i didn't look back
i didn't turn back
.....till i ..
i stopped to look back
oh no!! ...poor nettie
do come back ....
im  so selfish ....
so inhuman

i ran back.. but you
you   where gone
#hey ...i called
wait.....lets stay and chat
come join me
come ...don't be sad

but you kept walking
just walking further ,further away
................................................................­.............

you never thought you
were special or likeable ....
but im telling you that you are beautiful and flawless

never thought you mattered
or held any importance
but your the most human of any human Ive met
you feel and felt deeply
and that's what makes you human

for Antoinette

a day in your courts is better than a thousand years outside , i would rather be a door keeper in the house of my lord , than dwell in the tents of the wicked .

the silent tress hold memories
of winters sweet melodies

search high and low
and in every fox hole
where oh where.. can she be?..

oh feet that quickly flee
who then holds your stories
or keeps you... in times keep

but the trees and stones
that stay beside roads
you gave a glance to safely keep
but in every time
of past and new
they pass by you
without speaking speak
beginning , end ...old and new
oh what stories you doth keep

Why do you
Make things hard
Like complicate stuff
You just ...
Just I don't know ...
Just make it worse

I'm pretty sure
I know ..
You  ...
I know you well

You look like
My mirror
I hate you
Cause I'm cursed

What movie are you
Watching
There's an investigation
Who wondered
What sounds sound
Like when tears fall
On my lap

Oh dear mother...
Your expectations
Are too much
I'm sorry ...
I'm not enough ...

Hands cold
Please hold
My mouth dry
Don't cry
I'd rather die

Oh world ...
Your punishment
To heavy
For me to bear

How
Do
Intricate
Fabrics
Intertwine ...

i left my mothers arm
and i left my fathers home ....
and i fell into the well
of sorrow ...

I'd give you my heart but
its made of stone
oh I'd give you my
but my heart is made of
stone

spaces in words seems
clear like reciting
lost meaning in dreams

desire for long awaited
focus on the task ahead
floats obscure objects protracted
hated in hatred hate

seeming real like breath  
with eyes that glow
faces that creep beneath the
desks below

catch words ...scratching sentences
ideas and reasons
with books always pleading
stop ...wait...resonate true meaning

the body of water that lay still and silent
.
the atmosphere around so coherent to sound
Like the flower of ideas
Threatens to bloom

then struck light so loud and bold they embrace
and unfolds to incredible wondrous works
Entrance
life began living ....taking new breath

then past ,present and future
And infinity made
.
#standstill

5 minuet breaks seems like a plan  
let my busy mind be put to sleep
in 5 minuet land
Supend my memory
IN daylight dreams
I love putting magic
In tiny glass things