why won't you talk to me
don't you miss the excitement i gave you
i made you feel so good
right through the phone
your desire burned deep
like you finally made it home
you wanted me bad
you wanted me good
you wanted me anyway i came
just like all bad boys should

why won't you talk to me
don't you miss the excitement i gave you
you felt passion once more
love entered through your chest
you could breathe easily again
alive from being suppressed
yearning ran through your veins
just like the sweat ran down your temple
my lips the subject of your fantasy
real enough to make you tremble

why won't you talk to me
don't you miss the excitement i gave you

My desire for you burns like the sun hitting my skin on a hot day
My thoughts about you never cease, always on like a loop in my head
I think about your lips and how they will feel against my skin
I think about the hair on your face brushing up against my neck
I think about the taste of your tongue entering my soft mouth
I want to feel your warmth
Your body around me
My body around you
I want to grip your heart in my hands and slowly heal you with every kiss
I want to touch all the tender parts of you until you are whole again
I can be your source of comfort
Your soul can fit with mine
It's hard to face the truth
But let me be the one to show you reality
I can be what you truly desire
I will be what you had, but so much more
I will be what you need on every night and every day
You will look into my eyes and know I'll never stray
I want to restore what is broken in you
So give me the chance to show
What I can do

Why must I get myself stuck
I'm short for air
I can hardly breathe
My heart races fast
I think about my past
It's all too familiar

I pull the moon from the sky
And hand it to you
I take your broken heart
I mend all the pieces
Rid you of your diseases
Where does that leave me

I'm still in the dark
Grasping for air
Suffocating in my own house
Depleted of all my energy
Void of any memory
I am alone

Nothing is what I am
Not to you
Not to her
I'm just a crutch
Until you're on your feet again
I'm on my knees
Washing your feet
You walk away
Leaving me *****

No, I'm not worthy

meeting you
is like breathing
new air

your soul
your passion
your care

my stomach jumps
my heart flutters
my eyes fill with tears

i feel it again
love

but this time
it is raw
real
true

i want you
not only in my head
not only in my heart

but in my soul
in my bed
in my arms

i want to breathe
this new air
forever

there is a chemical connection
between our souls
i can feel the passion
when you say my name
i can sense the potency
in your urge for me
i can feel the desire in my gut
i've never felt this way
it's you i want
i imagine us
i imagine you
being mine
being true
the things you say
the words you use
how has it taken me
this long to find you
where have you been
and why have you gone
didn't you feel
what i felt all along
i can be the one to show you
what a real woman is
i can be the one to commit to you
and make you feel bliss
i will take the moon from the dark sky
and put it in your hands
you have the power over me
it's this space i can't stand
come back
i will show you the way
you are the alpha
i am the omega
you have all the power
i am yours to keep
we don't know where we end
or begin
we only know that we belong

your personality came through the screen
your kind heart was potent
though you couldn't be seen
i felt you coursing through my veins
just after one day
this immediate connection
felt like our own version of heaven
were you the one?

I can feel myself fade away
My body gets weak
I can't even see anymore
Not sure if it's the tears in my eyes
Or the fact that my body may shut down
I called a suicide hotline
But I just hung up
Nothing matters to me now
Except my dog
This doesn't make sense
But I'm scared to leave my dog
I'm super hazy
Haven't eaten
Took a shot
I have work later
Who knows if I'll be awake to go
I don't want to go
I just want to stay under the covers
If that means dying
Then that's what I'll do
Why should I care
to keep a promise for you
You don't care
You think I'm bad
You think I lie
But all I did was give you my heart
I would rather die
Than live like this
I wiped a tear
And another one came down
And another one
I closed my eyes shut
And a few more poured out
This doesn't even make sense
But I think it's the meds
Taking a long nap
And hope it never ends

you are beautiful,
gracious,
and kind
there is nothing
that i would change
you gave me peace
you gave me security
you made me happy when i was at my worst
you gave me purpose
made me feel beautiful
made me feel wanted
and adored
it's not that i don't love you
because i love you very much
from afar
but my heart doesn't want to continue
it is tired of the struggle
it is tired of trying to find all the right
in the midst of all this wrong
i am dragging you down
deep into my confusion
into my loneliness
into my dissatisfaction
you deserve so much better
than what i am offering you
i can't continue to short change you
i am not made for you
not right now
you are my soul mate
you are my first
you always will be
i will never stop loving you
never cease to pray for you
you are the highest of the high
and the most beautiful person i have ever known
don't you ever think for a second that it is a lie
because this is the truth
i love you
i will always be here for you
i know you will be happy in this life
because God knows how much you deserve it
and He will make sure that you get it

Sometimes you wish you could just go back
Take away all the pain you caused
What you did
And what you said
The mistakes you've made
And the person you became
Sometimes you don't see what's in front of you
You don't realize the importance
Then it's all gone
As if you just flinched
Your life passes before your eyes
But you're not on the brink of dying
You're on the brink of life
You're now aware of how you have nothing
You let it go to waste
All because you were just bluffing
You were fake and you were mean
You ruined people's lives
You acted obscene
You deserve to be lonely
Deserve to have nobody
What goes around
Comes around
And you can't take it back
You can't go back in time

I hate you for destroying everything I had
I hate you for always holding me back
I hate you for the times when you'd mess with my head
I hate you for all the damage that you did
I hate how you watched as I wasted away my life
I hate how everything you ever said was a lie
I hate how even today, the affect of you still remains
I hate how for all my problems, you're the one to blame
I hate the stolen hours, days, weeks
I hate how you turned me into a freak
I will never forgive you for what you did
Not just to me but even to little kids
I hate you

I can't help but cry
I think about the distance
And the next time I'll see you again
I don't know the exact date or time
But my lips miss you
Like my lungs need air after being under water for so long
I'm suffocating without the scent of you
Without the taste of you
I want to hear your voice
Not just over the phone
But whispering in my ear
I miss the warmth of your breath
And the smell of your hair
Life without you is so dull
There are no colors around me
Only worry and fear are the emotions I feel
I want to be with you
I have to be with you
5,000 miles with an ocean between us
I am afraid of a future without you
I'm confused and puzzled as to why this had to be so complicated
Why us
Why were we cursed with the terrible luck of finding love in someone who lives so far away
It almost seems impossible to maintain
But what's even more impossible is living a life without you
It's unimaginable
I would wait forever
Just for a single day with you

Missing you stings my heart
Now I know why they say love hurts
Loving you is the easiest thing
And the hardest thing
I've ever had to do
I know you're the one for me
Because with you,
I am able to breathe better, easier
I don't get choked up on life anymore
Rather just choked up when I think of all the cheesy things I think about you
Sappy, yet true
If my passion for you was to be a color
It would be gold
Bright like the sun
Everlasting and precious
It is easy to love you because you make me feel at home
It is hard to love you because you are so far from home
I want to make a new home with you
I miss you

The good thing about boyfriends
Is that they have no emotions

All these girls are so high strung
Makes me feel like they're less fun

So many points of view
So many arguments
All I want is to just chill
No more backhanded compliments

Guys kick back, relax
It's not a big deal
Let's kiss, laugh, drink
Loving what we feel

Do you want love
Or do you want passion
Do they always come together
Or just in small rations

Do you want drama
Do you want sensitivity
Do you want strength
Do you want security

A personal dilemma
When trying to discover
What you want in life
What you will uncover

Spending your love on something and it goes unnoticed
You're pushed to the edge and then start to lose focus
You don't know where things might have gone wrong
Because all along you thought you were strong
You try your hardest, you do your best
But all you're left with is pure unrest
You begin to feel worthless
You are ridden with stress
Love seems lost now
So take back your vow
It doesn't mean anything anymore

I hate every part of me
I hate going through life that way
I stay awake in the middle of the night
While everyone else is asleep
I sit in a puddle of self loathing

I have no desire to speak to anyone
No desire for that at all
I'm a prison in my own home
I don't want them and they don't want me
What a terrible life to lead

Everyone is finding fault with me
They're always so disappointed
Makes me feel worthless and stupid
Why should I try any longer
I gave up a long time ago

My blood is my refuge
If anybody knows my pain is real, it is me
It is never something they can take away
It is all that I have, the scars and the darkness
Without it, I'm lonely

Don't sit there and tell me that I'm fine
That I have it made
None of that means **** when I'm holding this blade
Your pointless words and hateful glares
The most perfect triggers

Thank you for bringing me closer to my pain
And further away from you

I'm disgusting from the inside out
Tormented by something that won't get out
A monster since my childhood
Crippling me with a disease
Convincing me that I'll always be ugly
Stuffing my face with everything imaginable
I'm growing by the minute
The fat comes on and adds to the filth
I'm so disgusting
It's something I'm aware of but I just can't fix
Something I always ignore
I'm used to all its tricks
I'll never get better
This monster will always have a home in me
For every step forward
I take three steps back
I can never win
I will always hate myself
I will always be this way
Gross, fat, and ruined

I roll over in this large bed
Only to see that the space next to me is empty
It is where you should be laying
It is where I should be able to look into your eyes
And show you how much I adore you with just one glance
But instead I catch myself staring at the emptiness
Trying to understand how my one true lover lives across the Atlantic
My vision starts to become blurry
My emotions start to run together
And I am left feeling numb and hollow
How I wish I could reach my hand out
And feel your body next to mine
How I wish to feel the warmth of your breath as we speak in close proximity
And as I imagine these things, I feel happiness for a split second
But no, my world is shattered and my heart breaks
As the sudden realization hits that you are not here
I cannot see you, feel you, or hear you
You are elsewhere
And I am here
Broken from our separation
Longing for the next time I see your face
Dreaming of the day that I roll over
And see my love lying next to me
Instead of this empty space

Sometimes I wish you were looking down upon me
Sometimes I hope you can hear me
And see all of your friends and family
Missing you, remembering you
But I know that you cannot
For you are in a beautiful place
That knows no sorrow or sadness
A place that is not of this world
You are where you have always belonged
In a place where you deserve to be
A place full of happiness and peace
You know not of this earthly world
Full of sin, lies, and disorder
You're where there are golden streets
And pearly gates
With the beautiful sound of trumpets
And however much I wish you were here
Or could at least see me
It makes me happy that you've found your heaven
And the next time I look into your eyes
We will both have wings

The feel of your touch
Your soft warm skin
The feel of your kiss
So sweet and passionate
The feel of our bodies together
Are all something I miss

The sweetest ******* earth
That is you
I regret so much everything I did not do
Everything I continue to neglect
Like looking into your eyes a little longer
Telling you how much I love you one more time, and a little nicer
Smiling at you as I look into your eyes
I'm foolish and stupid for ever letting go of your hand
Because now that I am without you
All of my mistakes is all I think about
I hate myself for letting moments slip by
Where I felt tired or lazy and let go of you
I hate how I've been rude to you
My lack of sensitivity towards you I despise
You only deserve the best
You're so sweet and so kind
You love me so much
And I love you so much more
But my natural flaws hold me back from being the best companion
I adore you with all my heart
I miss you with every bone in my body
I long for you so much
I need you more than I express to you
I just wish I had all those moments back
Moments spent arguing with you or yelling at you
Moments spent being bitter and creating tension
Moments when I should have been smiling with you
Moments when I should have been loving you and reassuring you
I can't let you go
I won't, I never will
But I promise I will get better
I promise I'll be the perfect person for you
Just like you're the perfect person for me
I'll never let another moment slip
Time is precious
But not as precious as you
I love you deeply, forever
I promise

through all the ups and downs
the joy and the pain
there is no greater happiness
than finding my soul in you
the essence of everything you are
gives me a faith and a belief
that i have never known before
a belief in the good
a faith in a happy future
i've grown to become so attached to you
not by habit or conditioning
but by true commitment
true compatibility
true companionship
i've never seen someone as beautiful as you
with a heart so big
and a love so strong
i'm so blessed to be the one you give yourself to
the one you want to share your life with
i'm so blessed to be on the other end
of the love you extend
you're my everything
my angel
you make my life glow
you give me everything i've ever wanted
i could never want more
with you right by my side
except for one more kiss
one more look
one more embrace
one more soft touch
one more smile
i always want more of you

we are apart for the moment
but now that i've had a taste
my taste buds are shot
i have a taste for nothing else
the fact that you're not around
is brutally killing me
i love you so much
i can barely breathe
i'm lonely without you
i'm worried about everything
you're the only person that can calm me
you're the only one with the power to make me feel better
i wish so desperately to look at you again
to feel my arms around you
to kiss your lips softly
to hold your hand
to hear your laugh
to watch you eat
i want to wake up next to you again
the days we shared together
keep replaying in my head
i'm living for the days we had
and waiting for the days we will share again
you're my everything
no matter what the distance
i will always love you

the love i have for her
is unlike anything i've ever felt
i care more for her than i even do myself
she is so fragile, so weak
yet at the same time
her strength is inspiring
her face is a wonder
her eyes a beautiful, blue hue
i could stare into them forever
for there is no competing view
i love the way her voice sounds
it's so sweet and pure
when she tells me she loves me
when she calls me baby
it is my undoing
i fall in love with her all over again
kissing her soft and supple lips
is my most favorite task
they're plump and pink
her tongue is so sweet
there is something so precious
about her very essence
i can't quite pinpoint what it is
but the more i am with her
the more that i see her
i realize it is because
being precious is inherently part of her
there is no other way for her to be
that's just how she is naturally
i can't believe that she is mine
she is sweeter than the finest dessert wine
if i am completely deserving
i do not know
but i will fight for her always
i will never let her go

I'm sick of the unknown
I'm dying from this occasional tension
It doesn't even feel like we're close
And all I manage to feel is apprehension
I'm expecting the worst
And praying for the best
But as I've learned in the past
Not all prayers are answered