See myself into a church

The guilt of my sins like smoke...

Blows off red ashes of a dying cigar

It is a cloud,

A haze

A mysterious aura of the ******

a soul without a shadow

"he is unacceptable to himself"

When the world swears upon a naked sun,

Salvation chokes on my filth,

And I watch my moon fade into oblivion

I am drowning,

Just like the priest...

Only he is far deeper...

Into the madness called hope

The tiny drops of water hanging loosely on my hair,

These eyelashes,

It feels heavy to look through a midnight moon

My lungs collapse in a winter's cold

My tears are frozen on the inside

The blood prints of my feet...

trailing my path,

My present fails as it fades

This heart beats on

As I walk on water,

Into a sunset we call home

The sun is a candle...

burning inside the mirror

Yet another reflection

It's rays fall cold on my skin

A bleached rose

smell the sixteen,

Whirl in the abyss of love

An ocean,

Drowning in its waves

The salt crystals molten on the walls of my lungs

A burning thirst,

addicted to the flames of your kisses,

fallen into a shade by the moonlight

The forever winds

Breezing on my rugged skin

The memories to the grave

Wilted flowers carried from it's stones

Into the skies,

When I become gray

The stains of black ink on a white spread

The bold lines and racing hearts

The curves,

Her hair flows like a fountain,

Of dark strands onto her delicate skin

The green grapes,

Her ruby lips moisted with my frozen breath

Her name echoes like the church bells…

across the Scottish hills

The fragrance of her youth in my lungs,

wild roses…

fill my soul with exotic desires

I’m the abstract of an insane love

I don’t have to walk with worry,

that my feet will tip over my own shadow

You are beautiful,  

And it is all that I live for

“I’m only trying to build a castle from my childhood fantasies”

I fall back at the day’s break

With the sun on my skin,

The dust on my soles prints on her floor

How much to pay?

When to repay?

The loyalty and affection

She rubs softly on my shoulders

And my soul sails away from the worries of tomorrow

I have fallen,

I have crawled

I answer to no soul but her

crossing the dunes,

my head above the sand

my eyes search for the oasis

mothers

defiance

daughters fallen

bleeding on blades and razors



petals

dresses

blood stains

in the snow



bruised,

in the woods

the truth of her body

savaged by wild flies



a runaway

the girl from the tower

the ***

the money



the drugs

away from her ghosts

into the dark,

her master’s dungeon

"sorry Mum!"

The prince is a frog
Kiss his lips lovely princess
Live a Disney dream

my heavy heart,

its fading heartbeat

the blood in my veins

slowly,

it bleaches


the color of my tears,

Are they pure?

or disgraceful?

I feel them cold,

running along my broken smile


Is it okay to cry?

It is okay to cry

Happy or sad?

I am glad I drowned my demons

but they were my only family

a sequence,

an alternate universe

growing up,

would I be happy?

watching the lines on your face

draw around yours eyes,

your smile

your temples,

changing from black to snow


it hurts,

it breaks,

watching a boy the other day,

when he cried out to mummy

why don't I know?

what it is?

how it is?

to run into a mother's arms

Did I forget?


Was I reminded?

of a face I once knew

looking back into the old days

when this heart graced in naivety

when foolishness was no crime

and fear was adventurous

"Mother"

"I cant hold on"

"I cant hold on!"


these blurry faces are deceitful

despicable

traded my soul for dust

can't roses be roses?

without the snakes,

crawling inside their gardens

it hurts,

it breaks,

Would I love again?

"choose to be happy for

the

stars

are always shining

even behind dark clouds"

rusty spoons,

broken chandeliers,

wasted berries,

empty glasses

dead wine


a love that fades,

faster,

than I could drink

cold,

but longing


the pleasure of nothingness

the touch of nothingness

the sound of nothingness

the taste of nothingness

screams,

and hundred dollar bills


a squeaking bed

Working behind closed doors,

pleasures known to a faceless man


she suffocates in her tears

"I am happy or sad?"

she wonders


It feels so wrong,

but so right

Is this where I belong?


within a rush of a fading high,

and the agony of a broken heart


my waning spirit,

it drifts in this endless cosmos

as I watch its infinite stars,

burning out,

one at time,


to when I become devoured,

into its black hole

with my tears to the skies

I cannot look into her eyes
the soul of a mother long gone

I hate my face in the mirror
I dread the stranger within

My sunken brown eyes are faded
Like the falling sand,
the statue of my self is erased

Life is a joke,
and I'm the clown
I perform to an empty theater,
and laugh at my own shadow

The voices are in my head,
the puppets and the songs
the whisperers and the screams

When I lay in the dark,
alone,

sometimes,
I close my eyes,
to the howls of the demons inside

Mother,
I'm married to the night

Someday I had hoped,
that when I'm done with my acts,

Maybe,
In the heavens,
where you live
We would laugh forever,
Like we always did

speaking of a beauty unseen
the ruby lips florescent,

a flower,
sprouting

from a withering stem
the fragrance
that seizes
the midnight breeze---

the lily of the valley,
her delicate petals
like crystals
of the stars---

her moonlight smile,
a treasure
in the secret chamber of the mind
and upon a silent winter night,

she dances,
her hair like a feather,
to the tempo

of her lover's frozen breath

Philosophy is one mad castle
The walls are illusive

The truth is the sun
burning through layers of faces
my graciousness
and alienation from god's ways

your bleed heart
strained within my web,
another prey,
sniffing illusive poison
from my painted daisy

true,
am just a flower
beauty lasts not,
but fades,
to bring a winter's cold

an addictive intoxication,
the aromatic jades,
where white, pink,
and purple petals,
colour the sky

into a grey,
the girl beneath,
A thousand years,
of tears and heartache
when her lover,
walked away

If love is wrong,
she hugged onto its wheels,
To hell's gates anyway

What has, or to be,
is beautiful
just a flower
that we love till it withers
into petals of sadness,
or memories of a worthwhile

Let's whisper unto the stars,
the secrets of our wishes
Unicorns and fairies
a princess and her knight,
If beauty is to fade,
and happiness is to seek,
so he wears
the crown of Persia,
a ring of immortality
holding a scroll of literature,
romance, and history
A gladiator's aura
Fallen in the sand of the arena,
A dove in the sky
Across the black sea
If my soul finally crosses
Walking the moon,
Among my forefathers
The birth of a new star

it doesn't matter
how many times I fall,
or how many times I bleed
telling me not to love again?
never

for as long as it is not dead
but just broken,
this heart will always
Swim the oceans of love

the smell of roses
the bliss of touching skin
with the moon still young

for trust is but a risk
It must take

to find happiness

am lost within
the labyrinth
in my head

high walls run,
with creeping grass
entangling my heart

the sky is grey
and am the girl beneath
the falling rain

He just wanted to touch
the flower,
her yellow petals,
and the ruby rays of a dawning twilight

He just wanted to burn,
within flames of elation,
smelling her morning fragrance,
an essence of life

But I guess,
it was just a dream,
to fly into an outer space,
daring the laws of physics

And yet, glad
that he had followed his dream
on a long adventurous journey
as his heart faded
with no regrets

the world forgave me,
but just one person,
myself

no house of God,
man of faith,
or divine scroll
preached my salvation

and with a moving rope
bruising my neck
I found no soul,
to aid my sinking self

but a million sad faces,
trapped in shadows
of what they called light

with the left as a right,
and the right as a left
that the center,
was but a dream

and with the scars of a past,
itching, and bleeding
peeling our own flesh,
beneath our broken nails,

an awareness estranged
trying to erase,
the slates of our distorted minds

to mark the graves,
of our lost souls
the cries, of our wounded hearts

the ground is a rock
but a sponge
on which I bounce,
along strings of rubber
faint elasticity
dragged between seconds
this silent planet
my lone soul

the flowers are on the grave
the whispers of the living
black scarfs
feathered hats,
the shadows of hate
standing around your halo
in black coats and long dresses
watching the fall of the sun

Their tongues hymn empathy,
but spit darts of poison
with their feigned smiles,
the scent of your soul
the blood from your heart,
clotted within their nails
so I know,
that before the next sunrise,

shall they come after me
with shinning scythes,
under a hollow moon,
like grey hounds,
their beastly nails tearing the ground beneath
to face this heart of a dark soul
blackened by rage

the monster I have become
with every breath from my lungs
the power in my blood
the fall of a star,
into an abyss of vengeance
with the sun still after a twilight
casting a shadow of death,
over their foul faces

This sacrifice for a dream
Screams thoughts of what I must cast
                    into the sea

       My heart is lost of love
But vengeance
             Hate
      And anger
              
        I see the moon
                                      Not the sun
           walk a dark path
   With an admiration for my shadow

        The only family I know
    With the night inside my heart
         The friends in my head

     When darkness is all I have
             My Nightmares to cherish
     
           If God went North
                              And left my soul,
                                       On a boulevard,
         Under these sinking skies

When what we see is real,
We sculpt perfection

Refined chimeras,  
Hunt us by night,

Masked behind shadows,
Of trees along the road to a cemetery

The lady in a white dress,
Bare feet, boiling skin

Her long dark hair
Slutty all over her face

And a butcher's knife,
Shining under a moonlight

That is not blood, right?
And why is she walking this way?

Aaaaaaaaah!!!
Am awake

A tapestry of mosaics,
Of Autumn leaves,

Floating down calm waters
rays of a morning sun

The lady in a black dress,
Out the river of youth

Her crystal skin,
With a radiant smile

Colourful eyes,
And wet golden hair,

Down her shoulders,
With splashing waters

As she walks towards me,
And lo,

Am awake,
This time,

For real
Am I happy or sad?

She was a beauty,
Fairness glowed in her youth
Her crystal skin,
And a thumping heart
The eyes of innocence,
With her breath of life
She exhaled into me

"Please have my soul"
Her veil of virginity
Robe of purity
Torn off her flesh
But a black lingerie,
Which she held onto
Her left hand across her chest

A shame of Eden
Beneath a rising sun,
A radiance of true beauty
The art of a Potter's hand,
With her perfect curves,
A Queen to sit,
On the throne of hearts

We laid silent,
In a bed of Wolf's skin,
Staring at the white ceiling
Her dark hair spread all over
Cuddling in the white fur
Like a goddess
A goddess

This loop in my mind,
Her fragrance filled in my lungs
Her silhouettes flashing in my dreams,
These beautiful nightmares,
And the echoes of her melodic voice
When we rolled, in a garden of roses

Bleed my scars,
I love the way you lie
Rip my heart open,
Do you love the way I cry?

You grip my neck,
Chocking my soul,
With all the strength in you
Gathered within your little fingers

An aching in your heart,
Piercing through the red in your eyes
The tears of silence,
A monster you have become

Quench your thirst,
On my blood,
Skin my flesh,
And heal your cold

Devour me,
look into my heart,
Watch my soul wane,
As I fade behind shades of darkness

Another memory on your slates,
A name on a wall,
In the cave of your mind,
Playing, the Queen of spades

And why now?
Oh! You do care i see,
Breathing like a mad bull,
Oh wait, they are always crazy

But suddenly calm, hm!
A cow and a goddess
Sobbing on my chest,
Do you love the way it hurts?

You bleed when I bleed
Smile when I look into your heart,
And weak when I breath on your neck
So I see, this,
Another mad love

Sometimes I feel lost,
Like am living in a shadow,
Of ghosts from my past,
Walking around an eight,
With my head low,
Dragging my sore feet,
My hands loosely hanging
Drowning in waves of blurry ambitions

Did i dream too big?!

The flames of my yesterday,
A gun loaded,
In her hands,
Within her quivering fingers
Unsteady,
The blood on my chest
This hole in my heart,
The anguish of my soul

Did I care so much?!

Strained lines on her face,
Tears wash away her makeup
Sobs a broken heart

With a pounding heart,
Pull me quick into your arms,
Sighing onto me,
The breath from your lips
On my neck,

Around my ear,
Whispering,
"I love you"
With your hand in my hair,
Rubbing me gently

Draw in,
Into your lungs,
The smell of my fragrance
Feel it spread out
Inside your chest

Exhaling into me,
With your lips against mine,
The essence of a thirst
Running deep from within
The chambers of your heart

I hate that I fall in love,
With you,
That you are my friend,
And dread the weirdness,
If you said no
Or yes,
That I become lost,
To how I would act

I mean,
I cast my thoughts
Away from your glamouring smile
The warm innocence in your eyes,
From which I find delight,
Of my reflection,
Picking out snow dust,
From your long and satin hair

You dance,
to a tune of a harp,
Of the winds of youth,
A heavenly *****
Lo,
An angelic body,
Peering through white cotton,
Filmy to a mind's eye

I hate to love,
The way you lie,
The brightest mind,
Forever a master,
In the chambers of my heart
That my soul is to you,
And so is this body
To bleed as you please

Why do I,
Long for you?
Do you even see me?
Perhaps it is, in the stars,
Where you hang as the moon,
And I,  
Am the wolf,
Howling, at your radiant beauty

I feel so alone
With a silent mind like a night,
But like cars along an idle highway
Sounds of resonating thoughts
Waving through a dark road

They howl,
Haunt,
and torment
The tranquillity of my soul
Lost on a voyage
Searching for myself

I yearn to awake,
to rays of a beautiful sun
With my woes in the shadows,
Of yesterday's winds

Blades and roses,
Wrists and razors,
Laying inside a tab,
With a flaming candle,
Shining upon the ancient letters,
Of a divine scroll

I dig my own pit,
Yanking my own chains,
Around my neck,
Toes,and hands
To love the pain,
If its all, there's to feel

But even so,
It was the light,
That moved away,
To blur my shadow,
With the night,
When my moon rose
But fell with her stars
The ghosts from my nightmares