They act like foolish mice
lost in a maze,
with heart eyes, who only admire
and send praise;
so blown away, and
stuck in a dumb daze.
It’s amusing they excuse
your wicked ways,
and you can gladly starve
them all for days;
while smiling madly, not even fazed.
They’re dim and dull,
you need entertained.
You can’t help it, you think,
but don’t dare say,
to sustain your pointless little games;
that you can’t ever seem to abstain.
It’s the higher ground
you need to gain.
So lure them in enduring
your demented cage.
Provoke their wrath and
force them to cave,
spread your foul poison to
their every vein.
There’s no denying they’re enslaved,
locked tight in your chains.

There's no place to suffer,
no going away.
It's dark in here
all of my days.
No smiling lights,
no happy surprise.
Only this disguise,
of constant lies.
I know they bother them,
my sad eyes.
They can't bear to see,
they want me to hide.
Just stay empty inside,
so they won't feel down.
Still one by one,
they'll all turn around.
They won't ever stay,
or test their extent of pain.
They only obey
their impulse to stray far away.
They'll desert me to ache
in this dark hole they can’t take,
where I get no relief
not even in sleep.
So I guess save yourself
I’ll taint that light you keep.
I'll burden your soul,
til you can't take anymore.
Then I'll drain you dry
before I kiss you goodbye.
And you'll never know
when it's all done,
I'll still be empty
but you'll be gone.

It’s the name of the game.
We're slaves to our secret place.
Even if we discreetly meet,
since we hate being apart.
Safe and sound with you baby,
all I need is your sweet heart.
Our secrets intertwine,
We play and tease and test.
The tension simmers up inside.
We form an explosion of emotions,
as powerful as the windiest storm;
but we only see each others eyes,
lying naked on the floor.
And when I said
“No I love you more”
you melt and slam the door.
Gently kiss my hair,
and nibble on my neck.
Caress me everywhere,
till I softly moan in your mouth;
and it drives you wild,
so you quickly go down.
Kiss my legs, then my thighs.
Now my whole body shakes,
you **** on my every curve.
I pant louder and louder,
then scream “please don’t stop”;
but you want me so bad.
Oh and you are rock hard,
so you slip right inside;
and we make passionate love in the dark

First he demanded I force him on the bed.
He said don’t dare relent till he’s fully spent.
So I start by removing all of his clothes,
kiss and bite him all over, so very slow.

Then he makes me bind both his hands tight,
orders a satin scarf to blind his eyes.
Next I gently bite his neck on both sides,
stirred on even more by his ****** cries.

My tongue wants to lick him just where he likes,
he trembles and shakes as I lick him up right.
He’s hard and tasty, I tease him till I’m sore;
**** and stop, he can’t take it, and begs for more.  

My mouth is so warm, he’s slippery wet.
I take it, and smother my throat in the mess;
and after he’s been pushed so close to the edge,
he rapidly pounds my mouth till the end.

Slap me daddy, abuse me.
Bite my neck, spank me hard.
Pull my hair, make me scream,
show me who’s in charge.

Tie me up, pound me deep,
again and again;
violate me, you own me.
Smother me in sin.

Choke me, defile me.
Turn me over,
take me how you like.
If it’s wrong, I don’t want to be right.  

Now finish me,
I’ll have no escape.
Baby take what you crave,
I’m all yours to break.

Your suffering is always greater than mine,
you claim your fears are bigger.
Whine your feelings are better than mine,
insist my feelings are simpler.

Try to laugh my feats away like a joke,
but my will is more forward than yours.
Now don’t expect any warmth from me,
my spirit won’t be ignored.

You think you can quiet my defiance?
But I'm used to standing alone.
Your ego trips never get old
they only harden my resolve.

So you timidly try and silence me,
then make excuses to escape.
‘Cause your wits won't handle me long,
I’m the one you can’t sedate.

Time is on your side,
what a beautiful lie;
so many reasons to cry,
so many wishes to die.
Spare time is worse,
to reflect on your curse.
When life moves this slow
you prefer a physical blow.
You just want to go,
you’re sick of feeling alone.
You quit asking why
when you’re too tired to try.
You barely get by
and long for the end.
This hand you were dealt
you can’t ever amend.
You'd rather fold,
It's getting so old.
Your life's a joke,
even with money;
you'll always be broke.

That appalling desire,
makes your heart beat so fast.
It’s an unsettling ritual,
which refuses to pass.
  The nagging need
   to feel something,
and make yourself bleed.
You must act and do it now,
you wait for the great release.
One slice turns into more,
and you need it to hurt.
No one must notice,
hence the morbid allure.
You can’t stop the impulse,
once the fuse is lit.
You tremble with sickly delight,
after every slit.
For now you’re done,
carving your skin.
Since the need seems gone,
even though it doesn’t last long.
But at least in those moments,
you feel that sweet song.

Don't stumble, forget to hide.
Don’t bring them down,
don’t make them cry.
Once they hear,
they’ll need reasons why.

I know you didn’t ask for this,
stop sounding so sad.
We said we love you,
you're not happy about that?

You just sit alone in here,
dwelling on silly fears;
no we won’t sit with you,
but it doesn’t mean we don’t care.

Sorry this burden is yours,
you can try and bleed it away;
but there is no escape,
this is how you were made.

Lying here reminiscing about the time we had,
you made me smile and my heart fluttered in my chest.
I think how nobody can make me laugh anymore,
but imagining about the past never helps
or the constant daydreams of death, I keep to myself.
I’m so restless from wrestling with these thoughts in my head,
they're too loud and piercing, paralyzing me to my bed.
I’m busy listening to the soothing whispers, that all want me dead.
Looking for the coast to be clear, so I don't have to be fake again.
Since the mumblings remain, to sting and heighten all the pain.
I try and write out the disturbing sounds to keep them at bay,
waiting for the right moment to come when I can drain my brain.

Your head feels foggy
you sense yourself unwind,
It’s the same dreadful demons
toying with your mind.
They wait till it’s dark
or the lights are down low,
unnerving sickly attacks
through your blood and bones.
You can’t hide your black heart
the demons can see,
they don’t allow any space
in your head to breathe.  
They tear your reason to shreds
you need fixing.
A worn stone sinking
in an ocean that’s rotting,
you decay miserably since
you're forced to bend the knee.
How much more agony
can the universe bring.
Not even your screams
can get you out of the cold,
and you’d rather give up
and drown,
than go it alone.

I’m wearing these shades to hide my face,
since you’re all staring so hard
watching me just in case,
maybe I’ll slip up
or reveal a hidden mistake.
Hanging onto my every word
“What does that mean?”
“How can we be sure?”.
I'm not some T.V show
don’t put me on your pedestal.
I’m not your savior,
I can’t heal your soul.
I never asked for this
so go turn your heads and
quit looking at my mess,
or waiting for what I say next.
Go save yourselves,
because I can’t help.

I love the times when he’s playful,
and I find he stimulates my mind.
He sang a pretty song just to me,
and I tried my hardest not to cry.
I dreamt of holding him close last night,
I was craving the warmth of his skin.
In the dream I tasted every inch,
and nothing mattered but his touch.
I woke up and thought that I knew bliss,
but at the same time it wasn’t enough.
I need him close by for one more kiss,
so I think I'll stay in my daydream with him.

You love how he licks every inch of you
and nibbles on your flesh.
You want him to spoil every hole,
and make you sloppy wet.
You beg him to take you every night,
and you let him have his way.
You need him to fill you up tight
and you think about it all day.
He knows just what you like,
so he ties you to his bed to
get you ready for his abuse.
You moan and scream as he pounds you
over and over,
until you can't move.

I’ll submit to your will,
make me swallow it all.
Spoil every inch of me,
slap me raw.
Fill me with your poison,
say you love me the most.
Don't throw me away,
hold me close.
Yank my hair back,
squeeze my throat.
Puncture me deep,
leave me soaked.

Massaging your warm tongue with mine,
I love to **** on your lips.
I'm intoxicated by your sweet scent
and trying not to drown in it.
My fingers run through your soft hair,
baby you belong close to me.
I always crave your taste in my mouth,
your kiss makes me weak in the knees.

Go speak what you want
and claim what you please,
don't wonder about the outcome
or whoever sees.

Yeah they all hurt,
but you don't care
since it’ll happen again.
They spew right out,
and blend right in.

They belong to you now
since all trust went away,
it's all you have left
and they're here to stay.

No time to dwell or doubt
for tomorrow too,
new ones will flow
just pretend they're true.

You’re not troubled by the price
It's easy to do,
you look in their eyes
and lie: 'I love you too'.

You’re much more rotten than you will ever claim,
you let bitterness lace every word you say;
and if the day is bright, you can force it to rain.
Bringing a storm with you, that’ll never change.

You want someone to cry, it’ll make you laugh,
you bask in their misery and welcome their sass;
you enjoy poking and provoking their wrath,
cause what they call a fight, to you is a dance.

It never makes a difference what song is played,
what do you care if they're unaware of your game;
since you enjoy making them all move the same,
you’re only happy when you can dance all day.

Your skills are no match for mine,
so you try and censor me while I speak.
You’re a fool waiting on the wrong block,
I’m far from delicate or weak.

My words will ruffle your feathers,
you’ll be shocked by the way I behave.
Then you’ll try to crush my passion,
or think you can badger it away.

You’ll soon learn I’m not an easy target,
my brazenness is here to stay.
My strong will won’t be corrupted,
I was born standing up and unafraid.

I light some candles to set the tone.
I’m so giddy I finally have you alone.
I’ve been daydreaming so long,
about the sound of your moans.
I rip off your clothes,
you make me insane.
I climb on top of you,
I need you between my legs.
My hands rub your chest,
I crave the taste of your skin,
as I take in your sweet scent.
I want to lick you everywhere.  
I nibble on your ear,
**** on your neck
till I leave a mark,
then playfully bite your lip.
I tug on your blond hair,
just a little bit.
I get lost exploring you,
taking my sweet time.
I glide my tongue,
along your ab lines.
Now you’re so hot and bothered,
you can't resist.
You shove my head
between your legs,
forcing yourself through
my wet lips.

He has a greedy look in his eye
as he licks his lips.
He climbs on top of her
holding onto both her wrists.
He ***** on her *******
then slides his hands to her hips.
He wants a taste of her now,
he can't resist.
So he grabs her throat
to choke her,
then yanks her
******* off with a rip.  
He spreads her legs wide open
and she gladly obeys.
He slowly licks her up and down
as she moans his name.
Then he buries his tongue
deep inside of her
until she explodes all over his face.

You stare me up and down and
send sweet smiles my way.
You whisper in my ear
how you think about me all day.

You grab me from behind then
tug on my hair too,
give me kisses on my neck then
take me home with you.

I need you to touch me
now undress me nice and slow.
Slip my ******* right off and
get me ready to go.

Lie me down on your bed
spread my legs open wide,
slide your fingers right in
then bury your head between my thighs.

They ignore every storm on the sea
they only see what they want to believe
and they believe all the lies they’re told.
So when you confess you yearn for the end of it all
they respond but how could I have possibly known?

Despair doesn’t care about a sign
It never minds the decline
and not one time did it believe your words
since you only remember every lie.
So you just suffer in silence like you want
and they say be thankful it could always be worse.

Swallowing makes my lips crack and bleed.
I can’t remember my last smile, I can barely breathe.
Every breath produces a sting, that burns
through my chest leaving my body weak.
I try to keep walking but all I feel is an ache.
My eyes can’t focus, I'm going to be sick.
I don’t know how to function in this place,
nothing makes sense.
It's so hard to lift my legs or stand up straight,
my throat is dry I don’t know how much
more heat I can take.
My face is scorched, I'm miserable and worn.
I've been limping through miles of hell.
I can't tell if I'm turning to ash
or starting to melt.
Strong winds keep blowing sand
straight up to the sky,
then I try not to stumble
as I rub my eyes.
I’m so tired from traveling
through the desert of my mind.

The whole worlds a stage
the whole world as your prey
and there you’ll watch
and there you sit and wait.

Go back to the hell where you came
you’ll never take it
you can’t have this flame.

But you can try
you can try
and blind their eyes
and watch their back
and rip em apart
and make yourself laugh.

Set em on fire
force the air so cold
smile while they burn
smile while they freeze
wanna watch em fold
wanna watch em bleed
wanna hear em cry
wanna see their spirit die.

But you won't
you won't have it.
Go back to the hell where you came
you’ll never take it
you'll never take this flame.

Welcome to the sunny little room
in my dreams,
where I get to see an angel face
smiling back at me.
When he reaches his hand out
for mine,
I touch him and feel peace.
His warm sea green eyes
pierce deep into mine,
and I would rather die
than ever leave his side.
But I know once I wake up
he'll be long gone.
So I try to enjoy this place
where he makes me feel like I belong.

After you lost all the money
you thought you’d win,
you remember nothing ever
happens in the city of sin.
You just wanted to have some fun,
but you drank a little too much.
You ended up swerving your car,
then heard an awful crunch.
When you looked in the mirror
you saw blood on the ground,
but you just drove faster
instead of turning around.
The next day you learned,
you ran over a little girl.
So the police were called
now they’re looking for you.
People called you a monster on the news,
and you knew their words were true.
The guilt was too much to take,
you didn’t know what else to do.
So after you wrote your note,
you slowly reached for your .22.

I welcome the silence
from the middle of the night.  
I was counting on the cover
of darkness,
so there'd be no one to see me
end your life.
I step as slowly as I can
trying not to be loud,
carefully slipping into your room
without making a sound.
I smile as I see you lying
helpless in a dream.
I move closer so I'm right beside you
kneeling on the ground as
I slide my blade out.
I’m inches from your face,
close enough to smell your breath.
I place the cold metal to your neck,
then swing my arm once to the side.
Your blood is black in the moonlight,
gushing all over your clothes.
You wake up and grab your throat,
swallowing blood
you start to choke.
I watch you try and put up a fight.
You squirm, and stare, with dying eyes.
You look me right in the face
as I stick you another time,
in the side right through your heart.
Too bad it took more than one cut
for your body to go limp.
Finally your death has come,
I’m free from the burden of your grip.

The shouting
in my head
always comes when
I least expect it.
They question what I think,
they send my reason far away.
They warp my whole world
so my hard work goes to waste.
So many voices in my head
with their creepy tones:
   “they want to hurt you,
you need to leave them alone.”
Until I only feel empty.
So they hold on tighter
trying to infect my entire soul.
I can’t hear anything else,
but the eerie commands
being spit out.
So I listen
to the depraved voices,
they're the only sounds
that matter to me now.

I’m never ready to see those strange eyes
staring blankly at me in the mirror.
She says she wants to cut my sickness out,
so she reaches for the blade lying next to her.

I feel the sting from her cut again
then I hear someone in the distance cry.
She won't stop carving at her skin
and keeps me from putting up a fight.

Her tired eyes look deep into mine
as she screams for me to go away.
She desperately wants me to give in,
while all I want is to win back my brain.

As soon as I opened my eyes
I was reminded you’re not really here.
My first thoughts today were of you,
and what you’d whisper in my ear.

So I guess I’ll lie awake in my bed
daydreaming you're holding me tightly,
wishing I could smell your sweet scent,
and feel your warmth inside me.

I wasn’t sure we should touch it
or stand so close to the light
But you said let’s watch the fuse get lit
even if we get burned tonight.

I won’t be needing any shade
since you know I want to feel the burn too.
You said baby there's plenty of reasons to be afraid
but let's just try and enjoy the view.

We’re the only two people here
and all the whispers are nothing new.
You know your peace is near me
And my relief comes when I'm next to you.

You never make anyone smile,
you laugh if they cry.
You bring out my anger,
and all of my sighs.
You’re nothing I admire,
and everything I despise.
You’re all stupid and simple,
but think you’re so wise.
You mock the gentle,
then brag about being cruel.
Act like you’re so clever,
but you’re the biggest fools.  
I really can’t stand
tools like all of you.
You’re all basic ugly rocks,
who think they're jewels.

You hate when they hear your laugh.
You always block out their fake praise.
After you sting them so it hurts,
you just walk the other way.

They only own broken things,
well isn’t that a shame.
They called it everyone’s burden,
making the air cold everyday.

So you stand tall when they’re around,
never showing them your smile
because they only deserve a frown.
It's too late to come in from the cold now.

I stared at him naked,  
after he let me read every page.
He was exposed, I was elated
the beast was finally let out of its cage.
I learned a disturbing fact that day
his dresser was where he kept his soul.
I saw him open a drawer and put it away
and I saw his eyes go cold.
Then he laughed at me and winked
and claimed he had everything under control.

Thank you for singing me a heartache song,
it sent warm shivers down my spine.
Music makes me feel less alone in the dark,
the passion in your voice made me cry.
All the pretty sounds traveled through my every bone,
the dead fire in my soul came back to life.
So it’s always a sad day when the music dies,
I never cared for silent nights.

You suffer in silence here,
it’s so rare to feel fulfilled.
You were given too much sense
and way too much time to ****.
You can't help but stare, until they
shudder when you get too close.
It hurts them when you speak your mind,
and you only have this urge to go.
This is your worst nightmare,
all you wish to do is escape.
You thought of jumping off that cliff,
only to wake back in the same place.
They said there’s always hope,
but you don’t feel any of their joy.
Some light might help you get around,
but you accidentally blew all their candles out.
So now you're slipping off their edge,
they don’t understand your ache.
You must hang a little longer
but of course their rickety rope breaks.
Oh this place isn't what it seems,
but you’ll soon learn the deal.
You’ll never wake up from the nightmare,
and it’s always been real.

You show me your heart
you hold me close,
you tell me your secrets,
you say you
love me the most.
You push me away,
you take back your gifts;
you spit in my face,
You have another fit.
You’re up and down,
you’re day and night.
You give me a smile,
then pick a fight.
You make me laugh,
you make me cry.
You make me angry,
you make me sigh.
You fill me up,
then throw me away.
You want me to go,
you want me to stay.
Let’s makes things easy,
and just go separate ways.

Most days are hollow days,
where I see every color as an ugly grey.
My mind always races,
The rage is a constant state.
There's a gnawing inside of me
that I have to fight everyday.
Mostly I just wonder why I’m still here,
and why I keep choosing to stay.

Until one day I was caught off guard.
I was unable to shield myself,
or protect my heart.
I was blinded by the brightest star,
and chased it deep into the sky.
I never felt such a strong force in my whole life.
I fell deep under its spell and
was overcome by the magnetic light.
So now I only stay right by that star’s side,
happy in my choice to leave earth behind.

My breath goes off like an alarm
from the sight of his flesh.
How to be calm?
How to suppress the urge to confess?
When I touch his naked soul
all my fears disappear
and my mind finally
gets a moments rest.

I said goodbye to the city life mom,
I actually feel like myself again now.
I love speeding through rural country
with the wind blowing my hair around.

My sight has changed somehow,
I take in the night with new eyes.
I miss you when I look up into space now
but at least here the stars are clear in the sky.

You once told me you dreamed of going out,
sailing on Tahoe around noon.
So I drove down to the lake for you,
even though it rained that day in June.

You told me to always smell the roses,
so I stop to pick wildflowers by the road.
I see you in myself even more now,
you’ll always be with me wherever I go.

I know you’re expected to be tough all the time,
so you just keep on walking
pretending like you don’t have to cry.
I know you're tired of fighting the dark,
and you can never catch a break.
Everyone wants you to be strong,
but you just feel weak.
They tell you the road will get better
and you just need to **** it up.
Or maybe if you tried harder
you wouldn't be stuck in your rut.
So you dwell on that same question again
“Why am I still here?"
always living on an empty stomach,
never able to get your fill.
Knowing your misery would end,
if you just ate all your pills.

I'm the ominous one in the dark
you’ll soon regret you freed.
After you see my black heart
I’ll get to hear your pitiful pleas.
But you'll never know when it's time
for all this sickness to start.  
I’ll lull you into a false sense of security first
to ambush all your good moods,
turning the tables so you feel trapped,
so I can poke at all your open wounds.

Our two twisted hearts can’t stay apart,
we’re not like anyone we’ve ever known.
You called me your lantern in the dark,
my light made you feel less alone.

I love the rainy days you need warmth
you come closer so I can hold you.
My little defeated bird,
I swoop in to take care of you.

Those times remain special in my mind,
gentle words between me and you.
I keep you there in those places sometimes,
It’s where I've seen all of you.

You still made a friend for life
don’t be scared I will ever leave.
I’ll always make sure you’re okay,
and wear my heart on my sleeve.

Some bonds aren’t meant to be explained,
that’s why we can’t stay away.
Our souls must reach out to meet,
but we’re free to come and go as we please.

There's a hole inside of him that can't be filled,
no matter how many hearts he breaks
or spirits he kills.
This is his retribution for being born.
It took a while to notice how
he smiles at the darkness and prefers
being the object of their scorn.
No cure exists for him,
even though some innocents still try.
Until they saw him laugh at their broken hearts
just so he could see the pain in their eyes.
They learned the sad truth the hard way
after letting him **** them dry.
Some people can never be saved,
and that's just a fact of life.

There's always been a little blue bird flying over me, whenever I look up to the sky. One rainy morning the little blue bird flew directly to me, as I stood looking out my open window. I was crying along to the sound of the pouring rain. Then the bird landed on my window sill and looked me right in my eye, sitting as still as could be. We stared at each other for a moment in silence. Then the bird started singing. He was trying to talk to me through his song. So I asked the little blue bird "what are you trying to say"? Of course the bird only continued to sing its song, so I listened. I knew I must listen. I listened to his song and the sound from the rain, and sat in peace. Once he finished his song I reached out to touch my little blue friend, but he flew away. He always comes back now, but only to sing to me in the rain. I know I'll always see my friend again, when he flies back to sing to me.

Mutter your bitter words,
lace them with mocking tones.
Tease us with pretty songs,
so you don’t feel alone.
Pretend there’s no madness,
in your deviant mind.
Try to keep it a secret,
or deny ‘til you die.
Sway the mood swing,
then mask a dark face.
Show us a fake smile,
to conceal the heartache.

Here comes the black stray running
  from that familiar street.
His burning gaze meets your eyes.
He flaunts his sharp teeth.
He sinks them right into your side
dragging you to a dark corner
to slowly feast on your flesh.  
You can't feel the sun anymore,
or remember your last free breath.
While your life is being swallowed away,
you wish for the sweet release of death.

Blue might look good on the sky,
but it doesn't suit your smiling face
or match your sea green eyes.
I’m thrown off by the shadows,
the shade catches me by surprise.

But your green eyes take my breath away,
when they sparkle with delight.
They stare like stars shining
down from space,
they're my own lighthouse for the night.