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Katlyn Orthman Aug 2015
There is a wistful feeling that curls like smoke from the rain clouds
As feet splash in puddles reflecting the sky

The sound of rain beating it's fists against the glass
As the rain washes away the dirt
Making everything new

There is a feeling of kindred spirits as I stare up at the sky
And see the moon ebbing alongside the stars
A feeling of homesick illness washes over me

There is a feeling of deep despair as I walk in the night
Silence is heavy, resting on my shoulders
I am always waiting

For that feeling
1.2k · Sep 2012
Oh love my lost friend
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Oh love , do you avoid me?
Am I not deserving of your company?
Because I see you with all my friends
But when I sit down you seem to leave
Oh love have I not been kind?
Have I not sacrificed enough?
Am I not deserving of a small bit back?
We used to be close
But then you seemed to leave
A vacant area in my life
Yet to be filled
I miss the laughter
I miss the happiness
Real happiness
Not the kind you fake to hide your remorse
I miss the warmth
I miss the passion
I miss it all
But I'm so scared to come out and whisper
These words at the tip of my tongue
Sealed behind these quivering lips
The key to my savior
Or the key to my ruin
This gamble is so risky
I'm not sure if I should take it
Or walk
But I can't help but remember those sweet
Moments that are forever
Planted on replay in my head
But then again so are the worst
Fate is unreliable
She will take me anyway she chooses
And as much as I've seen of her
She is not on my side
But another rival against me
In life, on this battlefield
Littered with untold stories
So many disasters left without
The happy ending
No my fairy tale story of love
And how the prince fell for me
And everything turned out perfect
Is a morbid twisted bent version
Of how the lowly princess
High in the tower sits
Waiting for the prince that doesn't care to come
Oh love you've abandoned me
And I have abandoned hope
Time may tick on
But I will still be waiting high
In the tower of lost souls
For the prince who finds mine
And wins it so effortlessly
Not knowing he's not showing
1.2k · Oct 2012
You Only Live Once
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Night with a street lamp 
To light the way 
Run until its day 
Storming to the point of hail 
I go outside to get my Pail 
Oceans roars a hurricane 
Surf the waves and make them tame 
Capture light inside your hand 
Discover an uncovered land 
Breath air of another kind 
Speak with the smartest mind 
Eat a food from every place 
Savoring the godly taste 
Live like it's your last day 
You only live once they say
1.2k · Oct 2012
Actors life
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Stary skies
On painted nights
Hearty ties
With scripted fights
Fake, it's just a scene
This actor's world
Can become mean
When you wish to lean your head
On one's shoulder
But you stay at home instead
And the stress makes you look a bit older
And you rather go to bed

Why does it have to be hard?
Why do we cry?
Why do we dream so far?
When are dreams just crash from up high

Director yells cut
And you shrink inside
And you wonder what,
You didn't hide
There no room for your stress
Keep your eyes to the script
It's what director thinks best
Your opinion is skipped

Why does it have to be hard?
Why do we cry?
Why do we dream so far?
When dreams just crash from up high
1.2k · Aug 2012
Torrent of Forgetfulness
Katlyn Orthman Aug 2012
Swimming through the river of forgetfulness,
But my mind clings to my memories
The water ebbs and caresses my body
Lulls me to let go
But as I try my soul struggles
A soft pulling eases me away
In the shadows I lay,
Something I was nudging at
Let lose to pillage my mind
I don't want to let go
I want to remain what I used to be
Not much, but still a person
Still me
Slowly time wins, my grip fails to hold on
My soul fades
I wander
I lose my way in the thick smoke
And I forget,
I reach land and pull my body from,
The Torrent Of forgetfulness
1.2k · Feb 2013
Throne of flames
Katlyn Orthman Feb 2013
It was a gloomy Saturday night
As I walked the staircase to hell
All rage and ready to fight
Too bad this angel fell

A book in the corner full of sins
A trail of people left drained
A closet full of different skins
So I could switch mine if it got stained

A path surronded by flames
A throne fit for a queen
Curtains woven by shame
I was in a mood to be mean

A smirk firmly in place
No regret left inside
Not a tear on my face
I didn't want to hide

I stood before hells jury
Fairness was not insight
No one could stand before his fury
But I was a bomb strapped by might

The gavel slams, Im guilty
Of course it's true
I was on the brink of insanity,
where I want to be

But no chains
No bars
No cage
Would hold me

This was my throne
I would make this my home
So with a grin on my face
I took my place
And I started a riot in hell
1.2k · Jan 2013
Constantly changing
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2013
I died my hair black....
It made me feel a little better
Then I died the ends blue ...
Made me think of you
I washed it twice tell it bled out to green...
Made me think of all the things we used to do
I cut my bangs...
Made me think of your arms
I straightened out my natural curls...
Made me remember how much you loved them
I put on my batman shirt...
Made me laugh, you always did love batman
I slipped into my yoga pants...
The comfort reminded me of your embrace
I put in my headphones and listened....
The soft voice sounded like yours
So Much has changed since then...
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
They asked me a question
One that sounded so easy
They asked what my Utopia is
But answering this made me queasy

With every pro came a con
It was not simple at all
Of course I could say a world without
War, starvation, poverty, and hate
But what is a life with out a bridge to cross
Without a sad memory or loss
With out a struggle with a victory
Or a smile and a misery?
You see this is why I answered to them
My Utopia is where I am
1.1k · Nov 2012
Better off dead
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
I come home to get away from the hate
Get slapped for being two minutes late
Look for the mother I used to know,
When had I become so slow?
She doesn't love me
She hates me
With the rest of the world
The people who claim
To love me the same
All lies!
Frauds!
You don't love me!
You only use me
Because I'm the only one left
Because she left
You rather it was her in the picture frame
You wish you could be saying her name
Yeah I guess I'm better off dead
No one would miss me anyway
It would just be another day
1.1k · Mar 2013
Untitled
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2013
I miss you, do you miss me too?
I miss the you I knew
Now your just a memory
That I wish I could see
A phantom that used to be reality
The thought to curve my mentality
I miss you, do you miss me too?
I miss the you I knew
1.1k · Sep 2012
My best friend
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
First time I saw her,
Jealousy,
Didn't see her along time after that,
Next time I saw her,
Admiration,
She and I became close,
Now if I lost her I don't know where
I'd be,
Only person I can say anything to,
Only person who listens,
Only person who I can be myself,
She's my best friend
To Sydney, because you are my number one best friend :)
1.1k · Sep 2012
You make me laugh
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
You can insult me
I don't mind
You can spew venom laced words my way
I'm immune
Just know that your words hold nothing on me
You just simply make me laugh
I am superior
You are weak
You try to hurt me
But I feel nothing
You only tire yourself
But enlighten me
What do you see
The outcome of your tantrum being?
Your mind is mysterious
So childish
I've matured
This is not the playground
I'm not here to play
So please throw your comments my way
1.1k · Jun 2013
Turn Back the Clock
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2013
Sometimes I find myself waiting
Waiting for the old times
The good times, to come back
Im stuck here in slow motion
Surronded by this constant commotion
Sometimes I break and I have no strength left
No im flooded by the pain
Left to fight this war by myself
I don't know who I am
I barely know whats real
I barely feel
1.1k · Nov 2012
Sinking
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
At the surface
Still waters
Dip a finger into the liquid body
Cold
Like me
Inside
Remove my coat
Fold it neatly
And place it on the frozen earth
Blink away tears
The end was coming
Blood had been spilt
To many tears lost
The skies were falling ....
I heard death calling
Remove my shoes
That bound me from running
Away from the screams
Wade into the waters
Disturbing the sleeping waves
Cold liquid envelopes my ankles
My breath hindered
Keep going
The wind whispers
Don't stop
I look to the blue heavens above my fragile
Human head
This is all that's left
When my path has darkened
And my light has escaped
Wishing through opened windows
At my waste now
My blood fills the pools
Seeping my misery
Spreading through the crystal waters
Tainting them
But I don't stop
Even when the ice chilled water
Scratches at my neck
Not even when I'm completely emerged
I'm drowning , sinking
In my pain
I scream beneath the waters
I scream for every heartbeat
That was skipped
Every moment that he missed
Every unjust tear shed
For every scar
For every nightmare
For every time I was hurt
For every word that broke through me
I screamed for death to take me
I screamed for it to stop
I sunk deeper
So deep ...
Like the cuts
In my body
Like the scars on my heart
From the abandonment
From my hatred
For the fire that simmered
And crackled in me
For my wasted passion
For every second taken from me
I sank deeper
I Sank faster ...
Just to find
I was an angel
Hidden behind frozen shut doors
With battered wings
And broken hope
Living in the dusk
When I should've looked for dawn
I found
Death was much quiter
Than the choir of cruelty
That we face
Everyday
1.1k · Nov 2012
Until we meet again
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Our hearts
Beat in symphony to each other
Years the melody
Mine the harmony
And even though we own seperate galaxy's
And our moons of different quantity
I will love you
My galaxy without a sun
Cold and dark
Until yours spit rays
On to the ice
That had held me locked
You told me
Don't be afraid
You gave me warmth
I won't be afraid
You took my love
And I gave you my heart
And we free fall into space
But we are not meant to be
For the gods will not smile
Upon our joining
So my fingertips must part
From yours
And my lips last
Brush like a shadow against yours
My tear will fall as two with yours
As long as you love me
In this unclaimed space
We'll meet again
But until then
Goodbye
You...
Were my gravity
In space
Together we were a
Cosmic explosion
A planet collision
But I smiled for the first time
In your arms
I won't forget
1.1k · Jun 2013
Vampire
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2013
Dark seeps into her crimson blood
Taunting him to come feed
The evil ripping through him
Building to a flaming need

Skin so cold it feels of ice
Drinking, eating in the dark of night
Soothing and singing
For her not to fight

Until shes pale and cant see
Until she wont cry
No evidence of her agony
She wont try

Silent, stealthy vampire
Blood dripping from throbbing fangs
The shell left of frozen death
No life, no breath
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2014
I asked myself,
why am I proud of being a Human being?
For a while I didn't know
I could only think of all the wrong I'm seeing
painted in blood on the ivory snow.

I thought to myself,
humans are weak and afraid of the truth,
we hurt others to appease ourselves.
People use lies in place of solid proof,
for golden trophy's placed on their shelves.

I watched
as people laughed and hurt one another
for something as invaluable as fame.
And as I did I felt guilty
to be apart of a race put to shame.

I watched
as bravery was described as a man behind a gun
killing in the name of "peace"
I saw people hating and judging for fun
because that was what looked good at the time.

I saw death
on the news, in the papers, on the streets
and cried as the blood was spilled
I watched people fighting one another
for a position so irrelevant being filled.

I watched gangs go to war
because he's black and he's white
I saw people excluding one another
because she prefers dark while she prefers light.

But when I flipped to the next page
I saw that they held out their hand
to people in need
They gave their knowledge to those who didn't understand
and take in those that they feed.

I saw a smile in the crowd
when hope was not in sight
and I saw a warring man
put down his gun in that fight.

I watched them build a neighbor's house
when the going got tough
I saw them lend a shoulder
when the days got to rough.

I saw another man preach
when we needed a change
and I saw another one accept
when the other was strange.

We'll never be utopia
no but we can try to be
1.1k · Aug 2014
Outlaws
Katlyn Orthman Aug 2014
Our love is our sin
hand in hand
It's where their hate begins
Something pure they don't want to understand

Stab me, make me bleed
but my love is my right
**** me, forget me
but my love is my fight

Beat me and bruise me
Preach me my indiscretion
Scream I'm going the wrong way
I've fallen into the wrong direction  

Tell me you need to save me
Life would be better if I saw through your eyes
But I don't want this life
If I'm living through your lies

Burn me, cage me
But this love is right
Hate me, starve me
But I will fight
I saw the saddest video on homophobia, and when I read the comments they brought me to tears. People treat **** like a disease. Almost as if they think there will be a vaccine that will "fix" them. In my opinion there is nothing to fix, and their love and affection towards one another is just as beautiful as anyone else's.
1.1k · Sep 2012
Dear mom
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Facing these halls 
I'm putting up all these Walls 
You'd think I was building a home Inside myself , an escape to get away,
from all this stuff that goes on everyday ,
when I get tired of running away,
and there's no place to stay 
I lock it all up because no one knows,
I'm ******* up,
I'm missing pieces of my sanity,
and I'm failing with my vanity,
it's getting harder to cover my scars ,
I'm  putting my thoughts in the jars,
to lock them away,
review them another day,
when I can say ,
that hey I'm okay,
who knows if that'll ever happen, 

Trying to stay strong,
before I go wrong,
I'm having suicidal thoughts,
more often then not,
god are you listening?
In falling apart,
I tried to stay true ,
but I'm not you,
I'm not brave,
I could never save,
anyone, not even myself , 

Mom, you say you love me, 
Do you really?
Because I feel like you don't understand me,
I feel like I disappoint you,
and I try to stay true,
I try to believe that you do to,
and I want to tell you how I feel ,
but your gone everyday trying to make money for our next meal,
I try not to steal,
cause I know that you hate it,
but I just want to help us make it,
it's a struggle everyday,
even though you smile,
and I know that you haven't been happy for a while,
sometimes I think it's me,
that if you'd never had a second baby,
you wouldn't be in this place that we, ended up in, I'm sorry mom,
I wish I was better because maybe then you'd love me,
I'm sorry that you hate me,
I wish you wouldn't degrade me,
I'm sorry for who I am,
I feel like a con selling a scam,
I really do ,
Just know that I'll travel the world for you,
that I love you to,
do anything you want me to
because with out you,
everything would be impossible to live through,
at the end of the day I know you'll Be there,
no matter if you care ,
it's something we share
1.1k · Aug 2014
Landfill for Dreams
Katlyn Orthman Aug 2014
Take the dreams I once voiced so fondly
Take them and smash them to dust
Take those moments my heart was pounding
Take them for I know you must

Sweep them under the rug and forget them
Sweep them away without a thought
Sweep them so far I won't be tempted
Sweep them away like you were taught
1.1k · Apr 2016
Growing Up Too Fast
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2016
Sad faced youth
With dreary eyes
And weighted shoulders

Tear stained youth
With a sullen heart
And a million thoughts

Fast paced life
With too many choices
Which is right?
I may never know

****** up night
Her parents are shouting
Echoes linger
Down the hall

Open bottle
The cap is lost and she is chugging
Add some pills
To numb the pain

Open wounds
The pain is crawling
Inside her skin
Because she's insane

Broken heart
Midnight is calling
With sad tales
Of the one with no name

Where does this road go?
She's lost the map again
No one knows
She's lost her name

Open casket
The rain is falling
Blurred out lines
And memories

She was young
And her heart was hurting
From all the thoughts
They Caused her pain
1.1k · Jan 2013
I need you to hold me
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2013
I need you to hold me,
I am so cold
Inside my body shivers
And my soul quivers
Don't disappear
I need you near
I want to feel your touch
Again, make me blush
Your words so sweet
Chase away the pain
Your laugh so soft
Cut away the strain
I love you so much
It burns inside
I love you to the ends if earth
It hurts to say it
You wipe away my tears
With these soft and gentle hands
You hold me so tenderly
It quakes the lands
Your whispers
They taunt me
As your lips
Tease my lips
I just need to know that
This is real
And not just a dream
1.1k · Apr 2013
Addicted
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2013
I think I'm addicted to you
I think I'm in love with you
So deep I'm drowning in it
But I don't mind...
1.1k · Nov 2012
Deeds of impossibility
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
I would travel the world
Make hundreds of friends
I would sing at the top of a tower
With the lungs and voice of steel power
I would dance on top of water
Make my passion burn hotter
I would trick the scales of fate
Dissipate every mention of hate
Be a creator of my own place
Take reign of space
I would lift my head
I would lead the army of the dead
Because I am more then a dreamer
I make impossible realer
1.1k · Apr 2013
Warmth!
Katlyn Orthman Apr 2013
Sun in the fresh skies
The air grows warmer by day
Soak in the soft breeze
1.1k · Sep 2012
Battle cries
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
It's here and now
Not then
I'm ready to face my fears
I've been avoiding for years
I'm ready to get up
Tower over them
Eyes shining so immensely
Armor around me
I feel strong
I feel like the warrior
Of the amazon
That I am
Sword raised
A battle Cry at my tounge
Charging into the abyss
Of this battle
I fight do fericly  
No one will knock me down
My blood will not spill
Upon the ground
I am to high
Wings spread with the grace and beauty
Of a queen
Tall with pride
Armed by confidence
Ive never felt this before
This is new
Unique
Antic
But my stride doesnt falter
I am ready to do this
Prove myself to myself
These shadows comfort
Is not needed
I am ready
1.1k · Nov 2012
Just another worthless dad
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Four years old
Christmas day
Dressed up with braids
Streaming down my back
Wait in the chairs
With an eager grin
In place
Mommy says wait here
My angel she is
But mommy comes back
With tears in her eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
I want to see him
My daddy
Where is he?
Mommy only grabs me
And clutches me to her chest
Whispers 'baby I'll try my best'
I don't understand
Untill now
He never came
He probably doesn't remember my name
I'm just another girl
With a worthless father
Who doesn't care
Who will never be there
And I'm not okay with that
All those days that I sat
Waiting for a hero
Who never existed
Was it me who insisted?
That we be one big family?
My tears were wasted
On a man not brave enough
To stand
He sent my world sinking
On land....
It doesn't matter
I was never his
Only my mothers
Who was braver than any soldier
Fought wars on her own
Beat the world
At the worst odds
She was my god
I look up farther than anyone
To my mom
I will love her no matter what
Because she did
She gave me her all
Picked me up when I would fall
Walked me through this crowded hall
Cleared the broken pieces of my heart
To be sure I was never cut
I love you ...
Never leave me
1.1k · Sep 2012
Do you see me?
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Hope in my eyes, , I'm lost in disguise , who will ever find me,are they even searching ? I'm hurting every day,  because my scars are much to deep, and my hill of emotion is to steep, I'm falling at high speed, I'm cursing myself for every bad deed

Reflections of me everywhere , 
Perfection is nowhere, but I'm not hiding anymore, I want to be found, I hate being alone , I want to hear a sound, I'm calling in the night, can anyone hear me? Are you there do they see me? 

How many days on my own? To many left at home, I made a new life, one with love, one that I could rely on, but as soon as I grew happy, it broke and shattered, it was my life nothing else mattered 

Reflections of me everywhere , 
Perfection is nowhere, but I'm not hiding anymore, I want to be found, I hate being alone , I want to hear a sound, I'm calling in the night, can anyone hear me? Are you there do they see me?
1.0k · Sep 2012
Fields and blooming feelings
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Wind across my face
Sun warms my blood
Grass rubs along my skin
Close my eyes to see your face
My heart sputters and begins to race
A silent smile on my lips
A feeling so mischievous
Turn my head to the side
Your eyes lock with mine
Hand in hand we look up
Into the endless, boundless sky
1.0k · Nov 2012
Viola
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Sweet cherry wood
Clean strings
The bow was so light
My soul was joyful
I could feel the passion welling
Inside me
I lay the bow against the string
And draw out a long sighful note
And then I jump into a series of slurrs
Rocking to the sound
I'm being swept away
Enveloped on the arms of the sound
So sweet and melodic
I was being drowned in the music
My arm was pumping the strings
Drawing every inch of beauty from it
I close my eyes and lose myself
To the song
To the beat
My heart beating fast
Racing with the strokes of my bow
Until I come to a crescendo
And then end my song mournfully
Ah, I love the viola I've played for 4 years and I absolutely adore it :)
1.0k · Nov 2012
Just stop
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
Must I say it out right?
Must I yell it in your ear?
Do you not see me pushing you away?
Your not who you used to be
Your bit the same guy who made me
Happy!
I hate you now,
You ruined my memories
You scarred me once
I thought it would pass
Scarred me twice
I leaned away
But now it's three times
Just leave me alone
It isn't attractive for you
To show up uninvited
It isn't attractive for you to persist
Until I want to bang my head against a wall
I don't like the way you've become
I don't like how you push me to do the same
I am not your friend
This friendship , past relationship
Has ended
Stop calling
Stop texting
Leave me Alone
I don't want to go back to the days
When I was a ***** up
When I just didn't care
When I didn't use my brain
When I made bad decisions
I'm just done
With you
I've gave you chances
And you failed each time
I'm done giving up my energy
For someone who doesn't care
About *me
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
Seek Not My Heart
by Kit McCallum
Oh gentle winds 'neath moonlit skies,
Do not you hear my heartfelt cries?

Below the branches, here about,
Do not you sense my fear and doubt?
Side glistening rivers, sparkling streams,
Do not you hear my woeful screams?

Upon the meadows, touched with dew,
Do not you see my hearts a'skew?
Beneath the thousand twinkling stars,
Do not you feel my jagged scars?

Seek not my mournful heart kind breeze,
For you'll not find it 'mongst these trees.

It's scattered 'cross the moonlit skies,
Accompanied by heartfelt sighs.
It's drifting o're the gentle rain,
A symbol of my silent pain.

It's buried 'neath the meadow fair,
Conjoined with all the sorrow there.
It's lost among the stars this night,
Too far to ease my quiet fright.

No gentle winds, seek not my heart,
For simply ... it has torn apart.
1.0k · Sep 2012
Demons clutch
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Eyes of blood red,
drip tears on to the white snow,
veins black she looks back at me before she's completely taken over,
her body only a host, a shell for the monster beneath her bruised skin, 
Her once bouncy hair,
now stuck to her face and falling out in clumps, 
I'm scared but I must save her, 
Before she is lost, 
The rambling beast spat curses in every language
I called for Christ power to flow through my curbs and empower me,
And in the name of my heavenly father
I demanded the name of the beast curled in unnatural ways before me
It fought with all it had, threw my sins before my eyes 
And yet again in my Fathers name 
I demand his name
His true name
Let me leash this rambling beast
For I see you true identity
You have no power here
He lost grip, 
He fell 
I sent him back to hell
1.0k · Oct 2012
Happy birthday to me
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Passing of time
Another year
Older this day
The signs are here
Im happy yet sad
Because of my growing age
This is bad
Like I'm on a stage
Everyone expects a show
Expecting magical tricks for me to grow
But I feel the same no older then yesterday
It's driving me insane
This constant responsibility
I'm a teenager for Godsake
Don't spoil it now!
I'm not an adult
Just leave me be
Before I'm cast into the retched society
Reality *****
It was my birthday today :)
1.0k · Dec 2012
The way to greatness
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2012
Sun setting, disappearing beneath the sea
The slight sadness that was left whisked away
I was there, thinking of my life
And it had struck me
Like a bolt of lightning shot from
The heavens fingers
I was wasting time , I was wasting it on what?
Bits of hurt feelings , and pity for myself
I got up and made my way to the waters edge
And watched my starry reflection
Being pulled in different ways
As the sea breathed
If I wanted to be great
If I wanted to make a small mark
In the big world , I couldn't just sit on the shore
And wait
I have to pursue the fleeting possibilities
I have to open my mind to things
If I wanted to be great I had to think for myself
I have to stop dwelling on little things with
No relevance
Moving onward , walking across the waters
To capture the sun
In my palms
And rise my hands to my ancestors
As an offering
That from this point
I will put forth the strength and integrity
I pledge to have
That I will push my way through if at first the way is to small
Katlyn Orthman May 2013
All the children dance
Beneath the sun
Crying, because it's been so long
Dead inside the rays warm there souls
Eventually they begin to feel
Forgetting the nightmares of darkness
Gratified to see the lush trees
Heaving breaths of fresh air
Instead of the cold air filling shriveled lungs
Just the soft heat warming their skin
Kind gentle winds brush through matted hair
Loving trees hang just out of reach
Moist grass  below bare feet
Never had they felt this before
Overwhelmed they stopped and stared
Processing these strange things
Questioning the being of it all
Rain threatened to fall
Suppressing their bubbling fears
They began to dance again
Until the clouds overhead withdrew
Vivid sunshine breaking threw
Within they all knew it was then
X marking the spot in their hearts
Yet they were not discouraged
Zestfully they danced the rain away smiling
983 · Jun 2014
War of Hearts
Katlyn Orthman Jun 2014
A glass breaks
They're mad again
Dad stayed out last night
with his best friend

She's crying
Heart broken on the floor
Her boyfriends fist crashed through the wall
her face, and then the door

He's drinking
Tipping the bottle back to erase the pain
She broke his heart again
he feels insane

He's barely alive
She's threatening to let go
Her beating heart
Is all that he knows

She's a single mother
Her children are her life
She seen their father
Out with his new wife

They can't get away
From the war in their hearts
The guns the bombs...
Are tearing them apart
Just a small poem on love, and that's not to say that it's all bad. I think there are ups and downs in everything we do, and each is just as important. We can't let the bad things break us, but use the lessons in them to make us stronger.
979 · Sep 2012
Undying love
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2012
Beware the steps you take
Are hazardous,
I am dangerous
Your fragile hands can break so easily
Think of your heart my dear
That would be tragic
If I tore from you
Your beating heart
My love is undying in your eyes
But I am not one to be loved
I do not deserve your faithful gaze
I hand you back your heart
But keep mine
I will always remember you love
For all time
977 · Jan 2015
Shatter Me By Tahereh Mafi
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2015
The sun is an arrogant thing, always leaving the world behind when it tires of us.

The moon is a loyal companion.

It never leaves. It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it’s a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human.

Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.
A beautiful paragraph from Tahereh Mafi"s novel Shatter Me. This just spoke to me.
975 · Jan 2015
Frigid Finger Tips
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2015
Winter wraps its fingers
in my frozen heart
never ceasing

Giving my burning chest
frigid air that
keeps me breathing
974 · Mar 2013
Star Blanketed Porch Light
Katlyn Orthman Mar 2013
The stars are prettiest
From the spot on the porch
The one that looks out at the snow covered tress
The light above the door
Swings in the Wisconsin breeze
Silent and cool
I sit in nothing but my grandpas oversized sweat shirt draped over my shoulders
It smells of whiskey and cigarettes
But for some reason I close my eyes
And draw in a deep breath
The door creaks open
And a rough ragged voice calls my name
Asking me if I was going to stargaze like a love struck ***** all night
Only a little longer
Tell my heart feels somber
And I can get on my feet again
I say smiling
968 · Nov 2012
Exhausted
Katlyn Orthman Nov 2012
I had walked in the light once
But again I've been devoured by the dark
Which way left or right?
I can't see to decide
It wouldn't matter anyways
They won't give me a choice
Because I lay down ,
And let them take away my voice
Trampled over stomped and smashed
Pushed around hated and bashed
Angrily I brush away
Frustrated tears fresh today
Angers stewing and dwelling
My heart is thumping and swelling
Ah! Scream at the heavens
Breath deep and count to seven
I feel as if the sky is falling
In my head voices calling
Just give me some rest
Im trying! Trying my best
And the rest I leave in the end
968 · Aug 2012
Nightmares
Katlyn Orthman Aug 2012
The forest floor along my bare feet,
I'm searching, but for what I'm not sure ,
Looking past the thick withered trees,
Looking past the billowing leaves,
Something churning inside me,
Knowing?
Instinct tells me not to go any farther,
But curiosity pushes me farther,
The soft rush of water,
I step hastily into the stream,
Water slithers its way up my body,
Encasing me completely,
Trembling from fear,
But I still breath,
Hurriedly  looking for evidence of what happened,
But my skin is dry,
Confused but not wishing to remain,
I walk on deeper into the forest,
Darker it becomes,
Harder to breath the air so thin,  
A soft whisper brushing past my ear,
But no ones there ,
I look towards my feet,
Blood pooled,
Words in a enigmatic language,
Carved into my flesh,
A scream stuck in my throat,
Whispers fill the forest untill the sound like screams,
All goes silent,
I fall into the hands of the dirt,
And then I wake panting in my room,
961 · Jan 2016
The Beast Mississippi
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2016
I will never tell you how I imagined my suicide in the shower
How I watched myself take the frozen metal rails
And lifted my one shaking leg over the bridge
And stared down at the ice cold, daunting gaze of the great Mississippi
How I closed my eyes and pictures your face
While the cold pierced my skin and my woes pierced my heart
I will never tell you the effort it took to slid my other leg over the railing and step into my coffin
Watching the river crash it's arms against the ice
I will never say how terror gripped my insides knowing that this beast would swallow me whole
Yet knowing I cannot swim gives me comfort
Once I fall the water will push me under, beneath its arms and into it's belly
I will never tell you how time froze as I fell  
My face casted towards the stars
The cold wind holding me suspended in air for a few granted moments as I whisper my goodbyes
Goodbye moon, my lips shake against the syllables
Goodbye love, my eyes damp with defeat
Goodbye fear, my heart thrumming in my chest
Goodb-
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
Missing you when I am the one
Who banished you
From my life
In your looks
There isn't anything to special
But it is not your face or body
That draws me to you
It's the tug of your heart to mine
For some unfounded reason
It's you I always glance back at
And I know you have the worst habits
But we are young
There's room for mistakes to be made
So we can grow
But I feel as though if I confess
I might just make a mess
Of these stitches we finally managed to sew
If I tell you my secrets
Will you take me in your arms?
Or will you cast me away?
This deliema has me restless
When I see you
I avert my eyes
Because you can always read what lies behind
The green walls to my soul
Maybe I was to scared and to young
Before
But now ... I just want to know
That I didn't leave your mind so soon
Possibly .... That when you claimed
You .... Loved me
You ment it
I was scared back beneath my covers
By that four letter word
I've seen , I've felt it used to betray
Used to hurt
My bruised heart
Beats with a ragged thump
Do dare I risk the last pulse on you?
961 · Sep 2014
What A Wicked World
Katlyn Orthman Sep 2014
What a wicked world
When blood is shed
In the name of religion
What wicked days
When death is set
Like the sun on the horizon
What wicked times
When evil taints
Love
And what wicked schemes
When we see this happen
Over again but never learn our lesson
The end is drawing closer
The curtains begin to close
And we'll be faced with our Judgement
I do believe we won't be happy
With what we see
953 · Dec 2013
Scarlet Colored Snow
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2013
Shut my eyes
Feel the sting of cold air against bare skin
Tangle your fingers in the frozen tears
They fall for us
No one is there
But I hear them near
All in agony
I sit in snowy fields

These tears promise revenge
But this heart promises pain
Your words whisper love
But your actions speak of hate

I am alone in this cold place

The stars disappear
The end is near
Give me the thorns of roses
The pierce my heart

This sacrifice is for you,
As the roses turn blue
And our love spills as scarlet staining the snow
Well I have no idea where this came from, but it is what it is.
949 · Jan 2014
Inside This Solemn Hour
Katlyn Orthman Jan 2014
Decaying inside
I'm rotting away
In this solemn hour
I peel away

Redeem my aching soul
for I'm soon to meet my end
I feel it there
just around the bend.

This beast inside of me
clawing to get out of this cage
is foaming at the mouth
in all it's pent up rage.

Decaying inside
I'm rotting away
In this solemn hour
I peel away

I send out a prayer
lost among the roar of gun fire
these dark wishes cloud my mind
breaking free are my darkest desires

I cry out in pain as I am morphing
insanity is all that is left behind
and I have not one clear thought
in my overdrawn mind.

Decaying inside
I'm rotting away
In this solemn hour
I peel away
Katlyn Orthman Oct 2012
All alone with you inside my mind
Calling out your name a hundred times
Somedays I feel so broken inside
To think that once our heart were intertwined
But love was a lie,  and now that I've died
And to think that you were mine
Was a foolish thought
Because you were not
Gods not there
He doesn't hear
My prayer
Everyday becomes gray
So why pray
If you tell me god is a figment of my imagination
Another's creation
Mind of a Pyhscopathic deprivation
Trees in my eyes
Stars hear my lies
I sacrifice
Myself
Sunset of a kind
A chance to unwind
And just breath
Why do I dine
On my own
I am not fine
I am completely alone
Mind of a Pyhscopathic deprivation
946 · Dec 2013
The Banshee
Katlyn Orthman Dec 2013
Hear her wails in the dead of night
they signify someones death tonight.
Foreboding this harbinger of deaths message
does wait at the threshold.

The reaper comes and snags you,
brings you through the shadows pull.
You think of how it came to be
that your life, so wonderful,
has come to an end.
With one Banshee's call.
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