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Anna Starr Jan 2017
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What am i doing up at 2:53 am
Thinking about the time you

M

yh e

ar t
706
Anna Starr Mar 2017
706
grab my branches
and lay your head to sleep
as the wind caresses
the chimes deep in our souls

constellations fall on me
as i watch you dream
breathe in, breath out
your face so serene

leaves sway against your head,
combing through black silk
my trunk always for your protection
you will never be alone

roots intertwine, digging deeper
into the warm, moist soil
the sun, although too hot,
would never have let us burn.

a season went by,
we ate the fruits unabashedly
i was happy.
you were happy.

a storm rolled by,
i was left broken in the whiplash
severed parts scattered
but it did not matter
you were with me

that didn't last
you didn't even say goodbye,
not a word, not a sound
and now i am alone on this melancholic plane

roots uprooted
trunk slashed through
branches broken and bent
leaves and fruits plucked and hurled

you left me to die
but still i long for you

i will never know why
i will never know why
Anna Starr Sep 2016
i started writing poetry again
because i thought of you often.

but now i feel like, soon,
you'll tell me that
you will never see me
as your sister sees the moon.

by soon,
i mean tomorrow after noon,

when i tell you how i feel -
that everything is true, everything is real.

i hope you love me enough
and tell me without a bluff:

*"it's okay, it's alright.
i will still love you through the night.
Through every day, i will love you
but not as you love me, too."
here goes nothing.
i feel dead.
Anna Starr Sep 2016
I take a bite
one, two, three
wishing i was snow white
please fall in love with me

but you love the beast
and i have to glue on a smile
wishing i was deceased
won't you consider me even for a while?

if i played dead
like snow white did
bit that apple so red
while my feelings stay hid

would you kiss me
even if you thought chances were nil?

when i wake and you set me free,
will you love the beast still?
Anna Starr Sep 2016
Give me an answer,
Even in the slightest of sounds
Because your silence, it kills
In my head, like a hammer it pounds

Stop. Maybe even look at me?
Or throw us out of the window, i don't care
I pretend i don't, but i actually do.
Am i not worthy to be in the sight of your stare?

Sure, lock me out for now.
Once you return, I can't guarantee me.
I've been trying so hard for a week now.
I'd be surprised if after all this, we were still meant to be.
Bakit ba ang hirap mo?
Anna Starr Sep 2016
You're that breath of fresh air
That i can't seem to take.
I really miss you
Anna Starr Mar 2017
a girl in pursuit of books
yes, indeed a bit shy,
but, god, does she have the looks
to make all the boys cry

a chatterbox once you get to know her,
pulling words from the air
never thought she'd be able to stir
feelings i never thought were there

she made me sad, too
i wept for her mind, body, and soul
she never had a clue
of the heart that she stole

what once was mine
is now hers for the keeping
drowning myself in wine
i'm having trouble sleeping
Anna Starr Feb 2018
Sober bodies, sober souls
I wonder if you'll ever know
Of the love i have for the tip of your nose
And the frames on your face when your eyelids close

Sober bodies, tipsy souls
Just maybe, one day I'll know
The way it feels when i see you flow
The smell of your skin when you hold me close

Sober bodies, drunken souls
In a state that i want to know
Will we ever see each other grow?
Or will we each stay on paths of our own?

dRuNkeN b0Dy, sober soul

Because I have no choice but to see you go.
Anna Starr Sep 2016
I want you to break my heart.
Whisper softly into my ear,
There is no us.

There will never be an us.
Anna Starr Sep 2016
I woke up with a pain in my chest
I woke up wanting to scream
I woke up with your name on my tongue
I woke up and I couldn't breathe

My tears fall
As I have fallen for you
I don't hate you, not at all
Can't we start anew?

I don't think i ever will
Stop loving you
From late April until
My heart stops aching for the moon
Breathing hurts.
Come back.
Anna Starr Apr 2017
each day and night i try to raise my ribs
each day and night i cry as my lungs fail me
each day and night i sigh as you slip into my brain
each day and night i ask myself why
why did you do this
why do i do this to myself
why am i like this
am i not enough?
will i ever be enough?

at times, i feel as though the world was at arm's reach
i am the queen, the beloved mother of my people
my hot curls are blowing in the wind
as i face the army whose aim is to destroy me

but now, i am nothing
Anna Starr Jan 2017
I tried to tune the radio
The waves were being erratic
I tried to twist the knobs
But then i was left with static
No hums, no notes
White noise screamed its way
Into the hollow canals of my ear

Oh how i miss the gentle breeze of the piano
The twang of country guitars
Played by those whose voices
Come from the deepest corners of their hearts
I have lost my ability to hear.
Your silence spoke volumes.

I can't hear you anymore.

*Can you hear me?
Anna Starr Jul 2015
I am afraid of the footsteps.

Someone please teach me


how not




to run away.
Anna Starr Jul 2016
when you feel like telling him
keep it in.
you know he will never feel how you feel

when you feel like telling him
hesitate.
will he still treat you the same?

when you feel like telling him
remember that being unsure is a no.
it’s horrifying to think about what he might say

when you feel like telling him
make sure you’re ready to accept the consequences.
don’t you want to keep your best friend?

will your hugs scare him now?
will your cuddles insinuate something more?
will silence still be comfortable?

when you feel like telling him
make a sacrifice.
it’s better for you to hurt than him
Anna Starr Mar 2017
oh how easy would it be
for my lies to be truths
all would be good and sweet
like eating ripened fruits

although aromatic, these are
definitely rotten from the core
would you dare take a peek
and see what lies in store?
Anna Starr Apr 2017
i love your constellations.
i wish i was an astronaut.
Anna Starr Jun 2017
My heart still grumbles from time to time,
Waiting for you to finally satiate it.
You never choose to feed,
And you never will.
Anna Starr Mar 2017
this is our shiny bubble.
we float around with no care,
its reflective surface
shielding us from the outside world.

you stare at me with rainbow eyes.
full of possibility, full of hope.
no longer do they run away
at the slightest sign of me.

instead they press on;
recklessly moving forward,
20 kilometers per hour on curves.
i keep the budding fear to myself.

we're working so hard to stay afloat.
oh, how i dread
the day
we


*pop
Anna Starr Jul 2015
were you so exhausted
of keeping me
in your little heart,
that you crushed it to pieces
and threw it away
just to set me free?
Anna Starr Nov 2016
and now
i'm stuck
i'm stuck
i'm stuck
i'm stuck
i'm stuck

in the cycle of you -
doomed to repeat
until i find the strength
to let you go.
Anna Starr Sep 2016
Your silence is deafening.

*Won't you sing to me once again?
Your silence really is deafening. You know you can't go on like this, just as i know i can't either.
Anna Starr Sep 2016
I woke up with the need
To breathe
Heaving
thinking of you leaving
No transition
Point to your position
Tell me what you want
I can't let you haunt
We're not like this
I thought you'd miss
Me
Us
We

I want nothing more, nothing less
I'm sorry i got us into this mess
I thought this Monday would be the worst
It was actually the best
With the onset of a tuesday,
pain found its way.
Anna Starr Dec 2016
It wasn't a lie to you
But maybe it was to me
I didn't want to drag you down further
To a road whose end i couldn't see

You say it's all me
Sure, take none of the blame
I pray that one day you see,
I wasn't meant to take your name.

It was a flight to the familiar
Or so i thought
I didn't mean to start a war
I didn't expect to feel so caught

We had good times.. a good love
I thought we could go back
Thinking you were sent from above
Especially when you attacked

You smothered me with love and kisses
Took me higher than ever before
You took away all my stresses
I never knew what you had in store

Aa time passed,
You made alcohol the devil.
Burning my throat, forgetting the past
Maybe you thought that this could last

I had to bring it to an end
This is not where i envisioned myself to be
Yes, my lips eere mine to lend
But now they want to be set free

Maybe we'll meet again
Maybe in different bodies
Maybe in a time where we don't say "Amen"
Maybe where one of us could be "Daddy"
Found this in one of my old notebooks from 2015. This isn't about me, but it's still pretty relevant.
Anna Starr Jan 2017
As the moon waned,
You did, too.

I chose to stay.
I chose to wait.

I prayed for the orb in my night sky.
All i saw was darkness.

I received word
That the moon had been destroyed.

Good-bye.
Anna Starr Mar 2017
you got angry
when you were hungry
you used to be sad
when our paths did not intersect
we were annoyed
at the same girl in philosophy class
you were happy
when we got to watch movies together
we were happy
sharing secrets and fundamental truths

but that's the thing.
we were happy.
Anna Starr Apr 2017
you still get angry
when you are hungry
you waited outside class;
smiled at me as we intersected paths
we are annoyed
at a new girl in philosophy class
we are happy
when we drink on friday nights
we are happy
when we go on our car rides

i like this thing
we are happy.
this is in reference to my earlier poem, past tense. It can be found here: https://hellopoetry.com/poem/1897149/past-tense/
Anna Starr Sep 2016
All my favourite songs are tainted by memories of you.
It was your favorite.
Anna Starr Nov 2016
i've spent most of my adolescence
taking, editing,
looking at photos

it is the same thing i have been doing
for years and years..
and yet

while thousands of photos
have passed me by
i've only stopped and stared at one

yours

half a smile, looking down
finally wearing the top
you've been dying to show the world

i'm glad i took it
i'm glad you weren't looking
i'm glad you looked happy

but

i'm sad that i only get to stare at you from a photograph
i'm sad that you couldn't even bare to look at me
i'm sad i'm not completely happy when you're not here

i'm sad you're not here.
Anna Starr Oct 2016
for some
bliss would be
an ice-cold glass of water
for quenching arid throats

i'd rather feel the ecstasy
of chills running down my spine
as the metal of a .44 magnum
caresses the temples of my skull
Anna Starr Nov 2016
we know i have to let go
you ******* up real bad
but it’s okay
i’ll fix you
i’ll let you go
and i’ll work and toil
bring a smile to our face
and hopefully this time it’ll stay

sleep now, love.
rest your eyes.
your time is done.
keep that smile on your face.

it was a good run.
Anna Starr Mar 2017
things fall apart
and like a nudged glass chandelier
we came crashing down
on cold, hard marble

wouldn't it have been nice
to be made out of plastic as well?


maybe then,
we wouldn't be in pieces.
what we had isn't recyclable. i don't know what to do.
Anna Starr Jan 2017
"What happened to the pit?"

The rain was rushing down again
Threatening my footing
Loosening the soil
Turning it into mush beneath my soles

"I'm back." I said.

"What happened to the umbrella?"

Rain poured down the walls
Releasing whatever grip the land had
A jagged pebble rolled its way down
It struck my umbrella and ripped it open

"I'm soaked." I said.
Anna Starr Mar 2017
I find myself
wanting to be surrounded by people
One, two, ten, a crowd
I'll invite the entire world

and yet i am alone
Anna Starr Apr 2017
i like it when we drink

the scent of sweet alcohol,
rockets burning through my chest's atmosphere
my head in outer space
i watch you
set aside your branches
as i take pleasure in your fire.

narrow your already narrow lids,
turn the edges of your lips,
tilt your head as your hair slips.
lured and leashed,
that smirk.

*Oh God, that smirk.
uncharacteristically posting non-sad poems who am i

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