you got angry
when you were hungry
you used to be sad
when our paths did not intersect
we were annoyed
at the same girl in philosophy class
you were happy
when we got to watch movies together
we were happy
sharing secrets and fundamental truths

but that's the thing.
we were happy.

I take a bite
one, two, three
wishing i was snow white
please fall in love with me

but you love the beast
and i have to glue on a smile
wishing i was deceased
won't you consider me even for a while?

if i played dead
like snow white did
bit that apple so red
while my feelings stay hid

would you kiss me
even if you thought chances were nil?

when i wake and you set me free,
will you love the beast still?

when you feel like telling him
keep it in.
you know he will never feel how you feel

when you feel like telling him
hesitate.
will he still treat you the same?

when you feel like telling him
remember that being unsure is a no.
it’s horrifying to think about what he might say

when you feel like telling him
make sure you’re ready to accept the consequences.
don’t you want to keep your best friend?

will your hugs scare him now?
will your cuddles insinuate something more?
will silence still be comfortable?

when you feel like telling him
make a sacrifice.
it’s better for you to hurt than him

i love your constellations.
i wish i was an astronaut.

All my favourite songs are tainted by memories of you.

Give me an answer,
Even in the slightest of sounds
Because your silence, it kills
In my head, like a hammer it pounds

Stop. Maybe even look at me?
Or throw us out of the window, i don't care
I pretend i don't, but i actually do.
Am i not worthy to be in the sight of your stare?

Sure, lock me out for now.
Once you return, I can't guarantee me.
I've been trying so hard for a week now.
I'd be surprised if after all this, we were still meant to be.

we'd make a pretty color.

each day and night i try to raise my ribs
each day and night i cry as my lungs fail me
each day and night i sigh as you slip into my brain
each day and night i ask myself why
why did you do this
why do i do this to myself
why am i like this
am i not enough?
will i ever be enough?

at times, i feel as though the world was at arm's reach
i am the queen, the beloved mother of my people
my hot curls are blowing in the wind
as i face the army whose aim is to destroy me

but now, i am nothing

oh how easy would it be
for my lies to be truths
all would be good and sweet
like eating ripened fruits

although aromatic, these are
definitely rotten from the core
would you dare take a peek
and see what lies in store?

things fall apart
and like a nudged glass chandelier
we came crashing down
on cold, hard marble

wouldn't it have been nice
to be made out of plastic as well?


maybe then,
we wouldn't be in pieces.

I find myself
wanting to be surrounded by people
One, two, ten, a crowd
I'll invite the entire world

and yet i am alone

What am i doing up at 2:53 am
Thinking about the time you

M

yh e

ar t

this is our shiny bubble.
we float around with no care,
its reflective surface
shielding us from the outside world.

you stare at me with rainbow eyes.
full of possibility, full of hope.
no longer do they run away
at the slightest sign of me.

instead they press on;
recklessly moving forward,
20 kilometers per hour on curves.
i keep the budding fear to myself.

we're working so hard to stay afloat.
oh, how i dread
the day
we


*pop

you still get angry
when you are hungry
you waited outside class;
smiled at me as we intersected paths
we are annoyed
at a new girl in philosophy class
we are happy
when we drink on friday nights
we are happy
when we go on our car rides

i like this thing
we are happy.

grab my branches
and lay your head to sleep
as the wind caresses
the chimes deep in our souls

constellations fall on me
as i watch you dream
breathe in, breath out
your face so serene

leaves sway against your head,
combing through black silk
my trunk always for your protection
you will never be alone

roots intertwine, digging deeper
into the warm, moist soil
the sun, although too hot,
would never have let us burn.

a season went by,
we ate the fruits unabashedly
i was happy.
you were happy.

a storm rolled by,
i was left broken in the whiplash
severed parts scattered
but it did not matter
you were with me

that didn't last
you didn't even say goodbye,
not a word, not a sound
and now i am alone on this melancholic plane

roots uprooted
trunk slashed through
branches broken and bent
leaves and fruits plucked and hurled

you left me to die
but still i long for you

i will never know why
i will never know why

I am afraid of the footsteps.

Someone please teach me


how not




to run away.

I woke up with a pain in my chest
I woke up wanting to scream
I woke up with your name on my tongue
I woke up and I couldn't breathe

My tears fall
As I have fallen for you
I don't hate you, not at all
Can't we start anew?

I don't think i ever will
Stop loving you
From late April until
My heart stops aching for the moon

were you so exhausted
of keeping me
in your little heart,
that you crushed it to pieces
and threw it away
just to set me free?

"What happened to the pit?"

The rain was rushing down again
Threatening my footing
Loosening the soil
Turning it into mush beneath my soles

"I'm back." I said.

"What happened to the umbrella?"

Rain poured down the walls
Releasing whatever grip the land had
A jagged pebble rolled its way down
It struck my umbrella and ripped it open

"I'm soaked." I said.

As the moon waned,
You did, too.

I chose to stay.
I chose to wait.

I prayed for the orb in my night sky.
All i saw was darkness.

I received word
That the moon had been destroyed.

Good-bye.

I tried to tune the radio
The waves were being erratic
I tried to twist the knobs
But then i was left with static
No hums, no notes
White noise screamed its way
Into the hollow canals of my ear

Oh how i miss the gentle breeze of the piano
The twang of country guitars
Played by those whose voices
Come from the deepest corners of their hearts
I have lost my ability to hear.
Your silence spoke volumes.

I can't hear you anymore.

*Can you hear me?

i like it when we drink

the scent of sweet alcohol,
rockets burning through my chest's atmosphere
my head in outer space
i watch you
set aside your branches
as i take pleasure in your fire.

narrow your already narrow lids,
turn the edges of your lips,
tilt your head as your hair slips.
lured and leashed,
that smirk.

*Oh God, that smirk.

for some
bliss would be
an ice-cold glass of water
for quenching arid throats

i'd rather feel the ecstasy
of chills running down my spine
as the metal of a .44 magnum
caresses the temples of my skull

It wasn't a lie to you
But maybe it was to me
I didn't want to drag you down further
To a road whose end i couldn't see

You say it's all me
Sure, take none of the blame
I pray that one day you see,
I wasn't meant to take your name.

It was a flight to the familiar
Or so i thought
I didn't mean to start a war
I didn't expect to feel so caught

We had good times.. a good love
I thought we could go back
Thinking you were sent from above
Especially when you attacked

You smothered me with love and kisses
Took me higher than ever before
You took away all my stresses
I never knew what you had in store

Aa time passed,
You made alcohol the devil.
Burning my throat, forgetting the past
Maybe you thought that this could last

I had to bring it to an end
This is not where i envisioned myself to be
Yes, my lips eere mine to lend
But now they want to be set free

Maybe we'll meet again
Maybe in different bodies
Maybe in a time where we don't say "Amen"
Maybe where one of us could be "Daddy"

My heart still grumbles from time to time,
Waiting for you to finally satiate it.
You never choose to feed,
And you never will.

I woke up with the need
To breathe
Heaving
thinking of you leaving
No transition
Point to your position
Tell me what you want
I can't let you haunt
We're not like this
I thought you'd miss
Me
Us
We

I want nothing more, nothing less
I'm sorry i got us into this mess

we know i have to let go
you ******* up real bad
but it’s okay
i’ll fix you
i’ll let you go
and i’ll work and toil
bring a smile to our face
and hopefully this time it’ll stay

sleep now, love.
rest your eyes.
your time is done.
keep that smile on your face.

it was a good run.

i've spent most of my adolescence
taking, editing,
looking at photos

it is the same thing i have been doing
for years and years..
and yet

while thousands of photos
have passed me by
i've only stopped and stared at one

yours

half a smile, looking down
finally wearing the top
you've been dying to show the world

i'm glad i took it
i'm glad you weren't looking
i'm glad you looked happy

but

i'm sad that i only get to stare at you from a photograph
i'm sad that you couldn't even bare to look at me
i'm sad i'm not completely happy when you're not here

i'm sad you're not here.