If fluent English is something my dog possessed and could use I think she would say:
Sometimes my human starts breathing really fast, she slams her hands against the floor and she makes strange sad noises, I don't know what to do so I bring her my ball
Sometimes my human does not sleep at night, instead she stares at the ceiling, I hold myself close to her, so when she does fall asleep, I'm there
Sometimes my human gives me bones, a few of them I save for later
Sometimes my human comes home and does not speak to me, instead she stares at walls and sobs, I lick her feet and sometimes it makes her smile
Sometimes my human gives me tasty human food
On my birthday I get brightly colored parcels, there is paper I tear with my teeth and inside there is always something fun or tasty
Sometimes my human does not give me as much affection as I would like, but I love my human and she is mine
I used to have two humans, one has gone but I still remember her and I think my other human does too

They said "life isn't what you're given, but what you create"
But they didn't consider what life takes away
A possession, a feeling, a memory, a loved one
Don't feel bad if you falter, creating is difficult at times, when suddenly your world is changed
And you are left to cope with the pieces of what once was whole

I feel like my love for you is a weakness,
When I said my final goodbye, my heart beat...beat...beat and when yours no longer did, it tried to commit suicide
The only downside, it failed. It took irregular beats, trying to match my feet as I dragged myself away
My heart, beat....beat..beat, you told me to be brave
Your beautiful smile wide, assuring me it would be okay
I'm not saying you lied, but here I slouch, tear stained cheeks, my mind in disarray,
My heart, beats....beats........beats......
Well at least for today

You think I'm sweet, you think you're safe,
I am but a hurricane, ripping through each pore of your body, discovering things you wanted to keep locked away
I will push at your limits, until your resistance begins to fray and you are left a quivering mess of emotions
Your comfort zone will look like heaven, as each step you take into this darkness becomes as scary as your bedroom cupboard when you were a child
And now everytime someone asks you "are you okay?" the question will seem mild in comparison to my mental interrogations to find each point where an experience shaped you
Your happiness is great, but your crystal tears lure me and every miserable memory makes my heart beat in sympathy with your sobs
So I am not sweet and now you regret liking someone who is in love with poetry

Youve nailed that verbal foreplay,
Each I love you said with beautiful honestly leaves me with tingles
And you have my body shivering with the words, you are my everything

"Go see someone to deal with your problems" the doctor says
Oh, I didn't realize seeing someone could provide stitches to my wounds
That my bleeding heart will heal at the sound of their wisdom
That my inner demons will be reassured by thier pen to paper
Thank goodness all I have to do is wake up and 'deal with it'

You,
Quiet my demons, don't tell me how, I'm scared it's a magic trick
That with rumbling laughter you'll shout "And alakazam you're fixed"
And my demons will slide sickening claws against my chest, unimpressed and wanting revenge....
Against me
"Stupid girl" they say "Trusting so easily"
I hold on to the hope, it's not a trick but something my body is drawn to
To be truthful, around you its hard to keep defences up, my walls crumble in defeat
Your eyes seek out the trust left in me,
And I beg no eyes, don't reveal all and make me weak
Because what if this could all be a mere magic trick
"Ladies and gentleman.... and THAT is how quickly I can get a woman to open up to me"

Allergies? The doctor questions
I can’t help but laugh bitterly and whisper your name under my breath

Time will heal they say with vigor
But I have found the truth does differ
For time will not mend the broken hearted
Or fix the lovers who have parted
It will not heal words screamed in spite
Or take back wrongs and make them rights
It doesn't provide you strength if craved
Or make the fearfull, in time brave
With day by day and hour by hour
It does not endeavor to empower
Only to create familiarity with pain
In hope one day it shall not remain

I woke up to hear the beautiful sound of you chopping an onion for dinner
Except it wasn't you, but fleeting memories my mind was scrambling to conjure
Cause you died too soon and the aching pain still seeps out of my body

I stare at his mesmerizing eyes
"You aren't going to see anything" he tells me
Little does he know I am seeing all that I need to

Let your heart soar to heights so frightening,
When you find logic restricting and tightning
To not let your mind argue your dreams, but wonder among beautiful possibilities
Let your legs carry you through testing storms
And your soul have faith when you feel torn
Let the bitterness fall, your happiness bloom
All of this I wish for you

Early morning sun pearing from tired clouds
Bitter coffee, snearing faces
Dreary people, tired and slouching
A life once bursting with promise, now filled with nothing

If her beauty was on the outside, maybe then she would be heard
If only someone would pause and truly observe
If only he rolled up his sleaves, his cuts would reveal all
If only they noticed, before more would fall
If only teens werent mocked for mental illness
If only this world wanted to notice
They would see shades not only of black and grey
But vibrant colors bleeding, bruised and begging for justice

With red eyes and a fading heart she begged the world to notice
With turned backs and ignorant minds they ignored her
So she chose death over existence
And the world fell to its knees

"And how does that make you feel" she asks, pen poised over clipboard.
I want to scream at her, tell her that mere words could never hold the weight of what I feel
But instead I stare fiercely into her eyes and say...
"how does it make you feel, to know you can't save me?"

Staggering down a moonlit road, searching for the end to constant flashbacks,
I'm turning into a trembling mess of memories
Just looking desperately for the golden happiness evading me
My mind toys with our reality and a nightmare filled mayhem
I'm slipping from sanity, I'm begging, take me back when....
Everything was simple

Terminally ill and fading away,
But let her live on, day after day
Suffering family, hearts slowly breaking
She is not there, her body grows vacant
But no to a sudden end they still argue
While I'm watching her dying, I question their virtue
She died suffering, my dreams remind me each night
Giving someone the repect to die, should be basic human right

I DO NOT HAVE WRITERS BLOCK,
I have a pain that rips through each pore of my trembling body, so incredulously devistating my cries sound more like the wretched howl of an injured animal than anything resembling a human being.
I DO NOT HAVE WRITERS BLOCK
I have words that are unable to hold the weight of my emotion, so this undeniable agony comes out sounding as easy as a Sunday sleep in.

Within some of us are the story's
Of anxiety, depression, ocd or eating disorders
Judging voices, let me tell you, we do not need your pressure, or the question of 'can't you just make yourself better?'
Or the phrase it's a phase, we don't seek your attention, we are fighting our battles and do not need condescension
There are days, the act of trying creates an inexplicable ache
And our strenth and perseverence seems to crumble and break
We are mental warriors, not perfect, but fighting for the right to feel okay
So though you are trying, keep your comments at bay

You looked at my cuts in disgust, thinking they show physical evidence of weakness
But don't you see, to me they are the beautiful evidence of how much I can destroy myself

Lip ring touches my lips as we kiss and I am delving into a dangerous world
I cast my logical hesitation away
Knowing im in trouble, he is what you could imagine
Tall, muscular and no good for my feeble heart
With a smile so wonderful and charm quick and addicting
He could lure even the strongest girls
With luxurious bursts of passion and admiration, you are caught within a world of temptation
And my whimpers express that I want more, but I feel like the ending has been predicted
Where I walk a little too far into this enticing world and now when he leaves, I can't find my way out

Started off normal, for a beautiful girl
She held purity and innocence, which is rare in this world
Couldn't see what was coming, but matured too fast,
This ends in death for a life meant to last

Your anger flares quick and biting,
Igniting a liquid hate, that races throughout your body
Absorbed instantly, it is poison turning simple love into ammunition
I am standing confused
Love is distant, your hands shake, voice booms, body vibrates
With heart pumping anger, you equip yourself with a sickening distaste of me,
I brace, hesitantly but expectantly,
You are ready for something I did not intend,
My tears make you bubble with malicious laughter,
This is quickly turning into an escalating disaster,
I am standing in front of a liability
You spit out a minefield of words, aimed to weaken and destroy me
I open upset lips to dish out my fury but nothing comes
Your anger parades around me, you're proud of your victory
I am empty in this fight, all I have is love

He is drowing in liquor
Stumbling sick and bitter
Furious with feeling
He is leaking emotion
Trying to rescue his carelessness
He hurts and yearns
The bliss he had with solitude
Before love came along

It's beautiful isn't it
The literacy of other people
When you read it and you feel it
Every moment
Those words rolling off lips
You feel their pain, their love
It is stunning, I am addicted to your poetry
Giving me emotions, my heart beats in time with every stunning syllable
And now I can't get enough
Write more, I need it
It can just be our secret
That I am alive from your poetry
Keeping my heart beating

A penny for your thoughts
A nickle for your time
Would you smile for a dime
I want all of you

Sin so sickening yet beckoning you closer,
Its twisted tendrils of temptation seeking your destructive desires,
Your purity is worthless and hidious, it seeks your submission to the sinister
Ferociously endeavoring its newest prisoner
Devouring your sanity, it enters your skin
Surrounded by blackness, you start chasing sin

GO AHEAD
I say, with light gleaming mischievously in my eyes
Try to change me
Me the girl far too messy
and not quite together
Me the girl too energetic and insistent
Me the girl who doesn't really fit in...
but doesn't really want to
Me the girl who is genuine on the inside
and refuses to become society's fake idea of beauty
Me the girl who laughs...
maybe a bit too much...
in times where silence is needed
ME    THE     GIRL
So go ahead, just you try and change me

im sorry i get angry at you
when you cant give me what poetry can
poetry holds me late at night
whispering sweet words of loving
poetry listens and reflects all of me
poetry knows me a little to well
and cries with me when my hearts breaking
poetry is all of what i want it to be
im sorry i hate you when you can be what poetry is to me

Take my heart, within your hands,
Promise me its broken pieces will be enough for you
Take my love and my demands
Open my eyes so I can once again see the world
I need you please, I forgot how to do this
I want to ask you, but feel too nervous
I am foolishly falling, will you catch me
Just stay right here and hold me tightly

If I was granted the chance,
to have you once again,
If fate decided differently,
And your life didnt end...

I would hold you within a warm embrace,
Because grief replaced you too quickly.
And the words 'she's in a better place' have sounded far too sickly,
Let me look within your eyes, try to fiercy remember each detail,
I'm filled with fear that when I think of you, my memory could fail.

Give me the opportunity to fulfill the promises I pushed to 'another day'
I wish I realized time is not loyal, there are still words left to say
I love you, today and forever, I would say it much more often,
I should of told you, you mean everything to me and that you will never be forgotten
And if that chance didnt come, I would settle for a poem
Because I'd fall apart without you and forever stay broken

Your screams stay silent, never heard,
Their thoughts are violent and absurd,
Your demons vicious, spitting venom
They whisper words of sick intentions
'Do not cry' they laugh with spite
'It could be time to say goodnight'
The darkness fills, you shut your eyes
And choke out one final goodbye

One step closer, to the edge of insanity, towards the uncertainy, I am walking away from the mediocrity and towards who I want to be.
I am taking each breath, in and out slowly, this air is full of people's dreams that never made it, full of passion that has been sedated and the hopes that have become outdated.
See the children who dreamt of the wildest things ended up growing up and with responsibility on one shoulder and pressure on the other and so the life they discover, is not full of the magical dreams they had once yearned for, their younger escapades now unravel and they forget the life that they had once dreamed of, their hopes now expired and cast away.
And so I seek to escape this mundane maze, this game that life seems to have created, I want to crawl through the loophole.

grief, like a thief in the night i am awakened by your presence
sweat, tingling my skin, i am left quivering within
the night air puncturing my lungs steals my breath in exchange for a sickening sense
the nightmares run on replay within my head
a gut wrenching reminder you are no longer here
then nausea seeps into my pores, beckoning me to fall apart,
grief grips my heart, finding me an interesting experiment
loss laughs in my ear, my feeble attempts at piecing myself together makes it laugh
HA, HA, HA
but i don't find it funny and i am so tired

memories flood my mind,
flashbacks of a kind,
from a time where you and i were perfect.
but these snapshots are merely photoshopped
therefore i am accusing nostalgia of being a ***** liar
nostalgia i thought you were my friend,
a hand to take, when memory lane awaited
to take me back to my past tainted with flaws
but you said no more,
you set out to sugarcoat the darkness,
i want it back, the true memories,
that were messy, that were easy to forget
please nostalgia, don't make me remember
these fake memories, you have surely created to please me
and make me ache for those perfect moments

you tried to stay lost,
but i tried to find you
you tried to run fast,
and i couldn't blame you.
you said its tiring,
when i continue to chase you,
why is my love useless
while yours is a 'virtue'.

im falling like tomorrow's never coming,
im too careless and throw around my love,
i guess i should try to see into the distance
but you've given me nothing to go on.
im trying just to live like ive seen them live,
they remain perfect but i just try to be enough,
struggling through something i'll never fit in,
but with my unique imperfections i shall rise above.

You were a delicate cactus flower, that showed the unloved cacti could have beauty
You were the singular floating lotus on a lake, encompassing the strength one must have to keep themselves above water
You were the ray of sun, through the clouds so foreboding, giving hope that warmth could be found in the future
And you were the one that covered me with love, soothed my wounds and proved that within myself I could find my own kind of beauty, strength and warmth if i looked hard enough

There is an ache, like an earthquake,
that crashes through my heart
My body shakes with the pain of love
Because we're ripped apart
I wish I could hold you, until this earthquakes ends
But I'm left here grieving you,
While you look down from heaven

Take me to the place, where I can breathe again,
Where the pain will fade and the nightmares will end
Take me please, I can't bare anymore
Cause it hurts too much and my hearts too sore
For you were my life
But you're here no more

Each step walking away from your lifeless body, will be the hardest steps I will ever have to take

As your lifeless body lay there,
Your soul is among angels,
Your spirit lives on in the people,
Who you gave memories to,
As your body layed there,
I gave you one last hug,
Your life will live in me,
And I will forever love you, mum.

Thank you,
For adding me, your daughter as another chapter of your life
Thank you for helping me write my own story into something I am proud of,
Thank you for editing my mistakes, making sure they did not weigh too heavily on me
Thank you for underlining lessons that taught values and morals to guide me
Thank you for giving me courage to turn another page, when I got too comfortable within myself
Thank you for allowing me to add pages to your story, adding chapters of worry for what I will turn out to be, worry where I was, worry my story would end quickly.
And I am sorry that I could not warn you how quickly your story would end, they said 70% chance of recovering again, from cancer, I said dont put down your pen yet, I will guide you and from these many months together our stories have become intertwined.
So as your end approaches I write this for you, write a thank you, the last bit of story I can for you, before I am left writing two words I was never meant to, not now, not so quickly, but darling mum, I hope for another story for you, that through the end of this one, somewhere else another story of yours will begin.

It is easy to say,
As you started slipping away from me, towards death
The world began looking far less beautiful
Maybe it was that your inner beauty made my world look artificially brilliant
But without your beautiful existence
My world is purely hopeless

Death,
is not distressingly beautiful
it is cruel and tiresome
there is no peace in the act of dying
there is only pained loved ones
who tire of wishing for your release

When I was younger, dreams of you haunted me with sickening fire and brutality,
I would wake up with tear streaked cheeks just begging the air that you would visit me
When I grew older, the dreams lessened and a strong ache grew in my chest,
allowing me to breathe less and less until the point where I suffocated with longing for you
And now I am here and instead of a burning ache I get outbursts of fierce intensity, bringing me to the edge of my sanity leaving me weak and broken
So tell me, did it hurt you to be apart from me or was I the only one counting the days

To my dear poems,
Although you're close to me, I will no longer strive for perfection with you
For I believe the raw emotions and imperfections make you beautiful and I am too in love with your flaws
The scraps of paper with scribbled words
Coffee stained napkins where sudden inspiration hit
Temporary words on palms
And unlike mine, I love your scars
You let my heart speak without a filter and the more perfection I force upon you by replacing words and rewording my pain,
it becomes nothing more than a never ending game,
making me obsessed about your appearance, I end up with useless words that make not a difference.
So instead of giving you hours, I will give you each a piece of myself and I know it will remain safe with you.
From your imperfect writer

Looking into the mirror,
Staring deep into the stranger looking back at me,
I search for pieces of myself that were once familiar,
Try and remember a time where my reflection reassured my identity
But I'm falling short and the stranger staring back is scaring me
Am I also scaring it?

I never anticipated love to be the antidote,
but here you stand, healing what I thought would forever be broken