Once upon a life too short, I stumbled upon an interesting sort...      
These fragile people, too broken to cope, that sought council and guidence and a thing known as hope
While some found religion which gave out great strength, others found partners who they've loved ever since
But some, they're still searching and I guess so am I, for one thing that will guide me till the day that I die
So I say this to those who are still searching too, I hope you find something that brings hope to you

I will admit, I am shocked how quickly true love can turn toxic,
morphing into a poison that runs through our blood stream making us scream and bicker
and so the love we once felt is reduced to a flicker.
Toxins replacing our delicate words that once held such warmth,
with ones intended to hurt and bring each other to war,
till the point we are dodging our shattered love on the floor,
and grow eager for self victory though there is no award.
So tell me this dear,
is any of our toxic love, true anymore?

please see
my feet are heavy and dragging
my heart is bitter, unwilling
my hopes crushed and scattered
while my body lays broken and battered
my breath is strained and wheezing
each step taken unforgiving and teasing
so giving up seems alluring and tempting
because this pain just seems unrelenting
but I was told perseverance is key
so i'll keep going, but I disagree

Help, she sobs to the dust filled air
And even though there's no one there
She feels like someone's watching

Her internal screams are never heard
So she splutters out the desperate words
Please can you help, I just need something

But no lifeline is given and no advice shared
She's left on her own again, frightened and scared
She just needed someone, to help ease the pain
But now she's left, to fight alone, for yet another day

Expectations can be vicious things
Casting a mirage, making things appear sugary sweet
Playing tricks on your mind and luring you in
You're envisioning your perfect fantasy
Taking that fateful step towards uncertainty
Head high and heart full of blissful unrealistic expectations
You find yourself stumbling in upon...

Nothing
But emptiness
And your shattered dreams

Don't mistake me for gentle, i'll hurt you if you hurt me
And the pain that I long ago buried will come back with such force and velocity, you will regret ever crossing me.

But don't think i'm heartless, I will caress you softly easing your worries, letting your burden become my responsibility if you allow that of me.

I am ying and yang, a balance between dark and light and will use both to my full capability.

Beautiful words and sickly sweet lies
You’re falling through darkness, he’s changing your mind
You’re filled with temptation and with nothing else left
He’s requesting your soul and your very last breath
Though unwise to make deals with the devilish kind
You hand in your contract, read over and signed
In return for this contract he has given you this
Some talent, some sin and a wonderful twist
Of fortune and fame, but know the devil is just
A mastery of trickery and he’ll show you just such
Good luck with your days, though now there a few
You should have known better, he’s now coming for you

Today, my neighbors house alarm went off
The defending sound, shattering the silence, a warning
Which revealed the reality
That crime would always be near us and in our proximity
I think it stuck with me more than it did the others
Because as the noise stopped, I'm sure they went back to their bubble
But I stood, thinking about the fluorescent light
A silent sign, that somewhere along the line something wasn't right
Alerting me of the false sense of security, I had all along
It blinked, I thought I was safe, it told me I was wrong
A morse code, telling me that I took it for granted
But the illusion of safety had just been disenchanted
So I began wondering
What other warning lights had I been avoiding
I peered out the window again
And the warning light continued
Begging to be noticed, but I could barely see it
My bubble made it blurry, I felt at home with my ignorance

His presence quiets the voices within my head
The voices that point out how many people could be looking at me
How they could be analyzing me, tearing me apart for all to see
Their sound of laughter is their way of mocking me
These voices echo within my body, their honestly killing me,
Their brutality making self-consciousness a constant enemy
With no pity, they attack and aim to **** all ease
But with him, it is different, the voices take a break
From their daily schedule of mocking and ridicule
His voice fills my head, a soothing alibi to fight with me
But I know without him square one is a certainty, no improvement
I will be a stranded soldier, fighting an army,
Of voices with no weapons, but words that bring me to my knees
So for now, with no unease, I will enjoy the quiet and hope he stays with me

My life became a whirlwind of what ifs
And after a tornado of destruction and desolation
I am left with the question, what now?

I want delicate words that expertly unravel around your sculpted body,
cascading down your pale skin while sinking in to erase the ugly sentences life has cast upon you.

I want the things I write to stain you with my presence, a sign to the world that I have covered you already so there is no more of you to see.
So the devious individuals who grow eager to wedge themselves under your skin, know that there is no way I would let them in, because you are mine and will always belong to me.

These would be rich words full of anomalies that leave a lingering taste upon your lips when you whisper them softly. They would hold the potential to wrap themselves around you in a suffocating vice, or let you down easily in a beautiful symphony of literacy. They would be harsh when they need to be, but sweet in majority.

I want these words to stay in your memory, to hold you and comfort you, protect you and sometimes mother you. So when my touch is absent and my presence gone, you will still feel my words and not feel so alone, so until I am home and can hold you in my arms, these words will be a token to remind you of my love.

But the thing with love is, it can get so overwhelming, that writing about it can no longer be an option, so until I can once again find the words that right now escape me, know I love you today and tomorrow and after that for infinity.

I think I can't be what you want,
My ears never seem to listen  
My heart never lets you in like you want it to
My lips sealed, never saying words you wait to hear
But I love you like no other
I let you in the only way I know how
I pour myself into this like there is no tomorrow
And maybe after this there won't be
Because I don't seem to fix myself like you need me to
What I should do for you seems obvious to others, but not to me
See I may be weak but you are the only person I have ever tried this much for
But I think it won't be enough
Because my love is tainted, with broken pieces of who I am
And it is hard to find a way around that
I understand if you are sick of being a soldier through my love
So I am sorry, but I just don't think i'm enough

It could be too late now, to fix what's broken
Or to aid what once was true
We have fallen victim to time and distance
Still my dreams chase after you
With what ifs and wild fantasies
That sooth but also mock
We abandoned each other
And invested in others
Broken apart with tick and tock  

I still cry over what I wanted
That you could not provide
I'm sure you wish that things were different
But with the changing of the tide
We fell apart, not strong enough
Took the easy road; said goodbye
Now too far apart
You're saved in my heart
For I hope, another time

You've given me memories that linger, they leave a bitter taste in my mouth and everytime I swallow I am reminded of you.
You've left a sickly residue, placed flashbacks in my mind that spin me into a time I don't want to go back to.
I admit, for a while you filled a hole within me, but it was just temporary, your love was fleeting and unsure and your eyes were always searching for something more.
Because I didn't crave you nor did I dream of passion between us.
We did not share an inseparable love, there was no heat creeping into our cheeks making us blush, there was no lust fueled fire.
It was merely a steady and reliable warmth, something love could never be built off. I liked you for the warmth you gave me but nothing more.
So you need to release me, because I need the part of me that I left with you or maybe that you took from me.

How about I give up,
Here, have my hands to bind
I guess you've had enough,
Of me wasting 'precious time'
So I lower my defenses, let you in
I will stand in surrender and let you win

But my pride is not sacrificed,
I do not bow to your command,
You are nothing but a coward
I know you get out of hand

So my retaliation will simmer,
One day I'll get you back,
For your 'love' is now nothing but
But a malicious attack

I tried to give you warmth, to ease your darkened soul, 
your vicious thoughts prevailed, and I could not persuade 
I tried to ease your pain, but you had given up,                                          
all that remained was searing anger cast forth to destroy all love.    
I saw you standing on the edge,
ready to forget,  
willing to move on,
you took that one last step,   
creating crevices between us while I just held my breath,        
'please come back to me my love, this is not over yet'
but you were far too gone, a distant memory   
remember you chose to stay behind
I tried to take you with me.