You're a floppy disk
I'm just information
Create the way we live
Sacrifice your ego
Overpriced education
I wonder if God put an angel on earth just for me
What is real loss?
I'll never fear loving with my all
I wonder who's not scared of holding my hand for 100 of years
Does anybody really know me?
Little things to cherish, to remember in the near future
The whole "becoming God" concept is being able to compete with something we'll never reach and that's how we become better, I'd like to think so
Probably not
Confidence doesn't exists, you're just scared to go through it
Or does it?
Or is fear really real?
Why post everything about your life through a camera on an app when you can fully live it?
I'll probably make it just to console my **** ups
I'll probably die just to let you know
My pain still lives but I've managed to cope without compounds
My loneliness still haunts but I'm handling it way better
People flaunting like they the realist and I'm becoming distant from love
I loved to love, I need it
I'm stubborn and I dont whether to be ashamed or not
Such a romantic but I can't express it to the wind
Now my past is buried in a hole I wouldn't dig deeper

Finding pain deap in the sea
Deep in the heart
8501
Becoming the one, erasing my dumb, feeling what was numb
The green make her come but don't make her ***
Junk days are done
She made me feel good until I found out she was drunk
What a deception I knew I was done
These new girls are trash and nothing but stunts
Why are your sheets so wet? I just wanted some fun
I was destined to pull the trig when I was aiming my gun
My rights could be a lie but I'm still certain
Could be derogatory to the way you're living

I think

Forgive me for all that I said.
If you don't, I'd understand.
There's no excuse, I shouldn't have said that.
It's simple but hard, I'm letting go because I can't hold on to this rage.
I have to make peace with everything before I go soon.
I've had some time and I'm fufilled.
Nothing I'd have to say will mean much in a few years, maybe even days.
The thing is, it was always about going with things and observing.
THE THING IS.... THERE'S A LOT TO NOTHING MUCH TO IT.

If you want to see chaos watch tv

Troubled kisses and these hickeys are covered, I thought we were just going to cuddle.
Subtle moves and you were pretty boozed.
I don't need to book you, you're already there.
We stare and dare, I cant bare.
We went to Target and time wasn't really a factor.
Time dies, we're alive and I'm letting go of my pride.
I was just talking about time and I loved how you listened to my theories.
We shared a Gatorade, I gave you the first sip because I think it'd be gentlemen of me.
We wore robes around the store.
Parked somewhere dark and talked about everything.
"I want to be the one you dream of"
I don't understand the simplest things.
The normal always confuses me.

Televising lies and I'm here painting a truth that won't be documented for people
My words aren't going to go that far
Who knows, a thousand years from now people will be looking at the stuff us writers write on this website and see it as an old testament
We're so in it and we don't even notice it
It was always about letting go of right or wrong
It was always about following your senses because they were mine
Yours
We ran on us
We ran on us
We ran on us
WE RUN ON US
On our delusions
On ourselves
Our love
Our will
Our God
Our us

Love is framed
We shape it with actions
Define it with questions
We take risks and learn
We learn and use
We use and satisfy
We satisfy and think it's enough?
Define enough
Enough shouldn't even be real
Your excellence shouldn't be enough
Your thoughts shouldn't be measured
You're so capable of everything
There's so much will
MAKE YOURSELF A ******* LADDER AND VISIT THE STARS
FEEL THE SUNS HEAT ON YOUR SKIN WHILE YOU'RE UP THERE
HAVE *** WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND THEN GO READ A BOOK ON CONSCIOUSNESS
Imagine the ideas you leave out on a daily basis....
I'm building my home with mine

You know, there are things in which I would like to answer
Your face pops up all the time and I wake up and think if you're awake
I have the courage to talk to you, you're on my mind
I look back at what we used to be and judge it
I pick holes at what we used to be
I think things are better now
I'm secure finally
I think I'll love you better
It's 5am, just a normal day... making myself some tea
You know how many things have to happen before we see eachother
The thoughts that cross my mind
The things I would do, the things I end up doing between that time
Everything used to be so off
I'm observant but I speak on it now
You're asleep right now and I wouldn't mind waking up next to you
It's a cool thought even though we're still teens
The thing is, have I caused so much damage to go back?
Or too much to go forward?
The thing is, I cant leave you like that
I myself wont allow someone I love to be left without security
Without my love in her heart
While you're reading this a lot is going through your head
While you're reading this, a lot of people are drying
Kids are getting *****
Houses are being burned down
Babies are getting aborted
People aren't making it through surgery
Someone just comitted suicide
AND I'M STANDING ON THE LEDGE OF LOVE YELLING I CAN MAKE YOU FORGET ABOUT THOSE THINGS THAT HAPPEN
I can heLP YOU NOT GIVE A **** ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU
THAT HOLDS YOU BACK
I spent the majority of my teen years debating if my days would come to end eternally
Eventually, they all do
Physcally tired but **** it
Keep it going
I haven't lost my touch
I thought I wouldn't love right
Then again, define it
You can't define the way we act
Our motives are ours
You know what's ******* crazy
We're ******* awesome
Think of yourself
Think of your brain
There are two hemispheres
Think of the functions, the muscles, the abstracts, think of your ******* spinal cord that connects your body to your brain
Think of your will power
Now think of the "we are one" thing
Think of us
Alright I'm off to drink my tea now, it's ready

We're so pure
For both of us
We're so internet sometimes
We're so awkward
We're so happy
We're so uncomfortable
We're so depressing
We're so 3 am
We're so God
We're so Lucifer
We're so heaven and hell
We're so us
We're so everything
We're so hard
We're so soft
We're so John Lennon
We're so drugs
We're so fine
We're so stupid
We're so random
We're so double faced when it comes to certain things
These **** boys watching **** and we're so daring to try new things
We're so capable
We're so universal
We're so ***
We're so contradictory


Only at times.

Amused by your moves you're using in bed to ******
Starting new to improve cause I didn't have a clue
My mind was blue, I was blind without the truth
Eyes on attractive body parts makes it seem like we're living in a zoo
We're all animals it's nothing new
Defeating these feelings with mind crush
Unlimited P and I'm laughing at how easy things are with some words
I am Cinderella
I am bigger than I thought I was last year
My true love has me on silent
I feel like I'm in an island and this talent is nothing if I can't right about those violent eyes that make me go a little crazy
I'm bringing my passion wherever
Inspiration from rides in ledbetter
I hope you're better
These visuals are getting out of control, I'm feeling myself without the L
4 seconds into my life and they're questioning who I am
Fear is real and confidence isn't
Fear not and you'll do fine
Letting go to build
We'll be alright, we'll be alright
Watch the world the way you want
It's a movie and you're destiny
The night still consumes me
I am me and that's probably all there will be to everything I do
My reasons are me
My motives are me
We're moving so fast
Define God

The green coming but I don't make a scene
Legs are spreading but I dont care to see
My way and these distractions aren't phasing me
I'm loving and these limits aren't stopping me
Why does the after feeling of the lucy got me acting so depressing?
It's 3:26 am and the come up seems too far to see vividly
I still want to release some stress on you... ****** energy
I see God but it's so chemically
I want to choke you while I ******* roughly
I want to make everything so LSD
I don't make sense, and it's not as deep as it should be
Yelling love is so unnecessary
Feeling it is so delusory
I still wouldn't give it up for luxury
Walking memories going through misery hoping for the light at the end of your imagery
We were so close to the truth like Mercury
We're books and I'm reading everyone like they read my poetry
Don't measure love by the Avery
I swear I'm eating good, no celery

I swear she onced laughed
I swear she was never last
Love inside of a flask that I couldn't open
We didn't mean it
I hope God means us
I hope a higher power even exist
Where do I go when things don't really last forever?
Making myself by self destruction
Letting go, letting go
I'll feel peace when I get rid of the memories
I'll feel peace when I know it's okay for things to not have meaning
I don't feel the way I write sometimes
Music changes feelings
Feelings change the vibe
The vibe sets the tone
The tone sets the love
The love makes you see your own written future
What is destiny?
I couldn't stand being associated with what I was with a few months ago
I hope your vision is changing
For the better
Talking to the wind like writing these unsent love letters

I haven't written about anything serious lately. My mind is pretty occupied these days. I really don't know the reason behind MLA format, why deduct points because I didn't double space. I don't know, it's not so important. Everything is blurry sometimes, reality is pretty awesome once you get the hang of it. Winter is coming, I haven't really bought anything warm in a long time. I don't really regret diving into the ocean of psychedelics, I just think it was really stupid of me to get caught up in them. I'm walking by a group of adults smoking cigarettes, I love the smell. I don't really know why, but it reminds me of a lonely winter in a forest. Maybe one day I'll fully understand why I can never write about one subject at once. Until then, the art of life will be in the same paragraph with the art of death. I was reading this artical on the internet, and it said that the most natural way to die is to die the same way you came out from your moms wound; crying and covered with blood. I've thought of the many ways that could possibly happen, it wasn't that heroic. I'm remembering so much at the moment. I never want to feel any doubt, I've had enough of that. I just want to make people laugh with my stupidity, and have a lot of ***. I love sharing thoughts with people, but sometimes I love the satisfaction of being the only one that has access to them. I stopped relying on people this year, I feel different. My priorities are starting to get together throughout time. Keep my heart baby, keep my heart. I found love finally. I used to be buried in whatever feeling that was when we stared at eachother. Although I will never face it, everything I love is going to leave me one day, and that's just real **** I'll say with no doubt, but what's the point? I will always feel for eveything.

My days seem to be longing someone.
My mornings feel like
I can't go back to anything anymore that I wanted before.
I've been writing about how I feel about a lot of things lately, I dont really know how to organize them.
I feel like meditation has really kept me from punching holes in the wall lately.
I feel like tripping has kept me from overthinking real situations, it's been a while though.
I've been keeping it natural.
There's so much more to everything, I feel like meaning is so expensive these days.
I've lost the concept of options.
These numbers are useless.
I've noticed the moment something catches a persons eye they pull out their phone instead of cherishing at the moment.
Swear words are becoming part of our culture now.
Your memory is worth more.
I'll doubt you if you're material.
Flexing thoughts and not what makes them that way with $20 on social media.
I was just playing around with perception, nothing serious.
I tried committing suicide in social media, but people worry too much and start hitting up my phone.
Funny how if you don't respond to a text they automatically think something is wrong.
Acceptance shouldn't be this easy, but all of a sudden it is for me.
Lately everything seems so spiritual, I'm glad I'm not overthinking things to a negative perspective.
Weekly tests just to give my mom some reassurance.
Trust is on it's way along with a motor.
I scrapped my knees, and this is really weird.
Can't really open up anymore, ears just hear and careness is absent.

Life's hack's a pill
Fall back for a minute, what's the deal?
Building love in a still
Sharing love on the web instead of showing care in the real
Burning bridges and we build
Overtime I lose the guilt
Can't enjoy if the worries are the bills
Spending time making things better, by the little

Symbolize no lies and the flip side of white like Anubis
From noobin' to getting a new *****
No birth on earth, not lucid
Off my knees with no assist
**** a trip never lit and still lifted
Used to quit for a bit, but the G too loud I listened
**** boys out my vision
Questioned exsistence, doubts had no limit
2 to run a business
1 of those disposed the closed
Honor roll for being on the role, never missed like a ***
Wished to be what I seemed to be on the screen; so vivid
Regretting lies in this life all the time now I'm fine being just David
Universe seems different
BS all around got me bent
Dead bird, you no fly
Old *****, no reply
Childish, you still whine
You full of it, like a cyst
Cat killa, ask yo sis
Smooth talk, **** that swiss
Made my way without an *** kiss
Money off my wishlist
Summer coming like my ****
Trill kicks, gold wrists, yeah all thrift
Never trust those slick lips
Better off a pugilist
Swollen fist, not a pacifist
No front, my diction real ****
Get you ****** with no diss
Limp **** still leave her lispin'......I'm not even playing

Wassup
Fluid moving
The dope game on hold nor I'm doing
School got me drooling
Took a break from lucy, wasn't funny like Louis
That focus got me back to grippin' the pencil
Working my mental
Normally numbers don't mean much to me unless the faces are green like what a vegan be eatin'
Lint rolling these ******* off my "Off The Wall"
Not looking unless she drops the weight off my jaw
No time for mascara
Clean faces my preference
Attraction an eye glance
No sentence
Branded linens is just an extra
Time worthy if she with it without Vera
No need for attention from others so why bother venting to ears that don't listen and dismiss it, like talking to air and waiting for comfort
Faced imaginary bullies in a duly, was never a runner
Fell out in the Summer due to the blotters
Moving away from irrelevants, cause time don't rewind so deleting some lines like massaging my vibe
Allergic to being second
Mindless moves
Intentions of a legend? Not really, I'm not J Lennon
Slowing things down without THC
The use is useless to me
Moon walking around triple D
Confusion leading to solutions of gun shot melodies
Is that the answer caused by envying the enemy?
I've made peace to a disease that didn't even exist

Just like that my words will mean nothing.
Just like that I'll be lost in innovation, the clouds of social media.
Forgotten in mentions.
A "used to be" in the threads.
Isolated in the beautiful and in the cruel.
Is losing interest growing up?
Or just regrets later on?
Lost cause turning into false hopes?
Is the $100 off your weekly check really worth seeing patterns for 12 hours?
It doesn't look like the gold can rust, so I can't.
These words are an aliens slang.
These cars are my childrens junk.
My smile is used for deceiving the teachers.
A blessing to the world, a curse to the law.
Holding on to feelings, letting go to the patterns on your hand.
Pixels of the past seem so 10 years ago.
Looking at the end of time while I look at my burgundy carpet.
Running away from the stars like running from what used to be.
Nights are shallow all together.
Swallowing gulps of saliva while I grip my sheets, I'm sinking in Ralph Lauren.
Testing my patience like if forever was actually real.

How do we slowly die again and again and again?
How do we seperate from ourselves repeatedly?
Why do my tears never feel new?
They're the same every week, every few days.
Maybe my love isn't enough.
Maybe my motives are lost.
Maybe I'm letting go.
Maybe my thoughs are wandering to parts they dont belong.
When have my intentions ever been wrong?
Why do I feel so sad about us?

Maybe we are now what we're meant to be
I found my passions in a dark hole, I found them when I was someone I hated being
I used to fear losing, now I know sometimes to win you have to lose
Like losing lovers, like getting strong
Like losing feelings, like opening myself to more
Maybe I am all I've been accused for, I acknowledge everything and I'm sorry
But never will I want to be what diseases
I'd rather be what kills the bold
Do tears for people really mean much?
When the clock fast forwards they'll dry
Time wont keep you a still because I'm running with pain, I'm running with regrets, I'm running with happiness
Maybe I'll settle 100 years from now when my loved ones wear all black and stand around me
I fell 10m per second....
I want my wings back

im with *****
Making millys
acting silly
im playing... our pockets empty and we smoking bleezy
selling acid
minds are gold never plastic
yeah we trappin never nappin
summer 13 *******, thats old news, no clue
nbs and fitted i dont need to boost
plain white t's, no j crew
this me, i never knew, killer kush, ***** im never blue
checkin ******* out, i always disaprove
ridin ***** with our one seaters
pop a heater if ****** being nosy call em peter
5'6 ***** eater wearing beaters never beat her but i beat it, so much head i need a breather
****** is talking puppets watching budget always cautious ***** ****** and they mullets looking stupid
floosy girls loose since theyre dad left theyre missing screws

I know I ****** up too many times to count on my hands.
This isn't poetry, it's the truth.
There's fiction to most of my poetry just to add a little spark to it.
And I know you wont believe a word I write for you anymore, but as long as I know I mean them, I'll be fine.
I'm done walking the streets with the pride I had, you were my pride.
I just hope we meet again, and start all over once and for all.
Your perfection made me nervous, your smile made me feel so lucky to even be with you, and if you didn't know that, I had to be doing something wrong.
I think I'm done trying to be something I hope to make profit out of.
I think I just want to be yours and to be wrapped in your loyal love.
I wish I could take back everything I made you feel, when from the beginning I wanted to make you feel like the princess that you are.
Your worth can't be defined in my poems even if I wrote about how beautiful you are for a million years.
I want you, maybe I even need you.
I regret making you feel worthless, baby you know your worth cant be defined with all the flattering words in the dictionary.
You saved me from the nights I didn't tell you I felt like ending it, I don't I'd be here if it wasn't for you.
I have 1 dream, and I'm chasing you, hopefully my legs can last.
I will never stop running if it's for you.
So please don't stop me, because I'm trying to stay strong.

Why make memories when I'll want to erase them sooner or later
Nothing last forever even if I believed in it
And if pride got in the way of things, I'd rather not be proud of anything
There's days where my random thoughts come crashing down on me like sediments hitting the ground in a valley
A "stay with me" isn't so sure, but I can't ask for the impossible
I can only be sure of death, or a "goodbye" with an empty bottle pills in my hand
I never really got how I started seeing myself in the mirror without feeling anything
Sometimes I feel the need for my face to be seen in the streets even though people don't know it
I share and I lose, and that's why I feel as I go and think of it as a first time
I'll talk about what happened and what will never happen, but that's just me
I don't have much to say tonight, be good

****

I reached 25K views on this website
More than I expected since the beginning
I didn't intend anything with anything by all means
I didn't intend to feel so careless these days
I didn't intend to reach this point with driving in a straight road passing stop signs
The stars don't seem so far away, but they are
My reach isn't so far, but I'll manage
This isn't about the views, this is about sadness and happiness being told in stories on paper
This isn't about likes, this is about sunshines and turning off the light before I go to sleep
I haven't watched tv in awhile, and I tend to get off topic these days so much, there's so much on my chest
Just know that the petition I signed about staying drug free doesn't mean a thing to me
From knowing there's secret forces controlling us from knowing you can only **** yourself to get out of it
There really isn't much to do but to suit myself with my scattered thoughts
Lovers can't really tell that faces change and feelings are the same, there's no one to blame but insecurity in this game
And if I can stay in your mind, everything else isn't anything to me, I'll be blind to anything that isn't you

I'm on the bus going to the airport, the view's pretty cool.
My mind looks like a writers paper when they have writers block.
I'm not scared of much anymore, just faces in my heart turning into gaps.
I'm waiting for a spark of creativity but I can't seem to light anything right now.
I feel like an empty lighter waiting for a miracle to happen, hoping to light a nicotines addict cigarette.
I wonder why time tends to fast forward when I finally realize and cherish.
The plane ride is going to be a *****.
Not the one with big ***** at least .
Nothing a ***** boy can get.

I woke up and felt like I needed to sleep more
But I could not
I woke up and nothing really mattered, it ***** how I have to look through things and see their worth the same way I saw them the night before
I feel like people think a little bit more than they feel
I feel a tornado in my head moving around my thoughts, but they're still intact
I have business ideas, but I have no idea where to even look for help
I dont give a **** from 7am all the way until 3am
My pictures are lame I just take what I like
My followers on insta are thirsty and so is your girl
My friends don't care about the government
My brother makes $37 an hour
My dad still lies to my face even though I'm already grown
My mom doesn't have faith in God like she claims to have
I'm coming back from a bike ride even if the worst happens
My motives were women but the clock keeps going even when you feel a still in your character
I couldn't care less about Benjamins
The faces keep piling but I'm still looking for sales
I mean how can people be so Texas weather when you only feel love for them
I mean 90 degrees to below freezing is a such a hard pill to swallow
My high is drained in cups of liquor I never sipped
My system clean, whistles aren't so clean
And I hope to be on your hit list

If you only knew.

Find a plastic love somewhere in the Savannah
Dont find a metal love,
those rust
I'm moving countries if I ever go anywhere with what I'm doing
Maybe go from hotel to hotel, city to city when I'm in my prime of years
Dollars to Euro
Euros to Rupees
Rupees to Pesos
Inhale the air of every continent
My mom told me I'm the brightest out of my brother and sister
I laughed in disbelief
Girl to girl isn't so much fun, I learned
I love new faces, I just don't like getting used to seeing them
I love yours
Permanent hickeys on your pale skin would be scary, your chest would be covered in them by now
I'll answer truthfully to anything now, used to lie a lot
I got over it
Water is water, but people drink Fiji like if it made life a lot better
Sometimes when I'm at home and have nowhere to go I look at my friends snapchat stories, I write about what kind of vibe the place has
A few sentences doesn't make it justice
Nothing really gives any justice, I dont know if its supposed to be that way or maybe I don't know the right words to describe it
One day I'll meet Schoolboy Q and we'll cruise to his old stuff, atleast they'll be old then
Then again music never gets old
"The Purge" always gets me in the mood to do something illegal, I don't really do anything about it
The mood is cool though
I feel so Friday after a long week of school

the struggle was never real
i put it on myself
been thinking about some stuff I wish I never did
if there's a pill to make some people forget about how I used to be I'd go broke buying them
I remember every feeling and its a love hate thing
burgundy carpets smell like my ashed get aways
fabreeze helped a little
running on albuterol but still the fastest
my dosage is high but you're breathing harder
my mind has been scattered all day I need someone to tell me something about how they feel about me
don't know what matters and I dont know if it should matter
my sd card is running out of space, I need some space
been ducking the wind lately
im convinced im fairly happy but im not a fair type of person
my way beats the highway so **** a double seater
a coupe is nice but I've damaged my lungs too much to damage the earth
time isn't so much of a problem anymore so I ride my bike slowly, no need for the speed shifts
Im shirtless only when I'm alone at home, what does that tell you?
I wanna try a different genre but people wont **** with me, tears dry anyway
change is good

got poetry to show to my friends but im thinking of deleting my twitter
my thoughts aren't as cool as I wish they could be, so bookmark my HP page for the updates
the summer is chillin and im going places my mom doesn't want me to go to
just because a place brings back bad memories doesn't mean I shouldn't be there
Im past all of the stupidness and accepted my foolishness, no need for the reminders my ego is drowning
my link on my insta no need for tweeting my emotions my tumblr is boring but so are your hobbies
im writing for some dollars for more pencils, im running out of them
i got some money but thats for anything that comes coincidently coincidence
no need for some pens because I cant erase mistakes with them
nhom site under construction so give us a few weekends our weeks are productive we hustle until we get it **** what you're doing
there isn't any way but the need way so excuse your missing bikes, we're 16 and we're foolin
we order pizza and write down ideas no time for galleria
we ride for adventure on two weels
interacting for promo no need for hiding behind some screens
my life is a run on but thats how it should be no time for breaks, sleep is an option lead is necessary
rooftops capture sentences paintings illustrate our visions
if you dont contact me then why should I
I should be humble but my account has 4 zeros, my mom dont trust me with it so I dont know the pasword
That child support is piling up, I dont really care
got miles on miles on miles on miles on miles ridden on my bike but I haven't gone anywhere but the city
Im aiming for the carpet so when we go back to school I'm bringing my summer
Got numbers as options but there's no reason to hit them up, got a good one I'm grateful
I'm riding fast my way don't slow me down, is this a comeup? I don't know I'm just going along
Come up from suburbs, I want to live high until my view is the moutains
Im from Dallas but that don't mean nothing, no city defining where I'm going because I was on the 26th floor when I was at my lowest and I wasn't even on coke
these days my grind is so lowkey, im sleep deprived
my paint never dries, my brushes are always getting washed but these projects aren't for the public
I only have a few questions, is love really real? should I sleep more?
i dont know but Monarch dr is gonna be in a book one day

$1.50 shirt from the thrift store, $40 Ralph Lauren shorts, back to school Vans shoes, and some confidence.
Riding my bike around blocks hoping to find some inspiration even though I've been writing more than ever, still feel empty after I'm done.
Got plenty numbers on my phone, but I only talk to one and thats through kik messenger.
Have a lot to say but no one wants to listen to someone that's delusional.
I started thinking straight though, these days make a lot more sense.
I try not writing about the world anymore, I dont have a clue about it.
I think my bike makes me feel a lot better when I feel sad, I feel like with every peddle I take it erases little pieces of big worries or bad memories.
I try to peddle as much as I can.
I miss a lot of things.
I always wonder what would happen if a car ran me over when I'm riding my bike.
I always ride on the big streets even though my mom tells me not to, I dont like listening.
I always do the opposite of what anyone doesn't want me to do.
"Dont do drugs", you'll see me buying.
"Dont love me", you'll see me post links on Twitter to poetry about that person.
I started reading about useless subjects, none of that really matters.
Ian G. Barbour is a loser.
Just love, and believe in what you want to believe in.
I want to sign my name on books I wrote while I was depressed, but I don't see that happening anymore.
I'm outside listening to crickets, is this how it sounds when I make a joke?
I don't see any stars, I'm kind of relieved when I dont see any.
I used to think stars were just reflections of sad people on earth, I thought that 4 months ago.
My therapist thought I was delusional, I could see it in her eyes and in how she talked to me.
These mosquitoes are getting annoying so I'm going end this.
Remember, "a strange grey distance separates our pale mind still from the pulsing continent of the heart of man".

I'm so used to having the world in my hands.
At least it feels like it.
I'm so used to the world disappearing every now and then.
It's a bad sense knowing the world might disappear any moment no matter how hard you grip it in your hands.
It's bad that I'm okay with the door being open, I'm prepared for a few more scars.
I'm okay with dreaming.
I'm okay with pain.
I'm okay with not knowing where to go.
I'm okay with scars on my knuckles.
I'm okay with trying for whats worth it at the moment.
I'm okay with consequences.
I'm okay with not knowing what to write about sometimes.
I'm okay with giving up addictions, I found a new one, at least for the moment.
I'm okay.

I was riding my bike earlier today.
Drops of rain were hitting my head, and I didn't bother going home anytime soon.
I talk a lot of ignornace, is it really bliss?
I try not to, but I'm the perfect imperfect human.
I got off my bike and took a deep breathe, clasped my fingers, and sat indian style in the park I go to everyday.
I listened to the kids play, I listened the wind moving the tree branches violently, I listened to parents telling their children they won't be there much longer because of the storm coming.
The clouds felt so close to my head, but I'd probably need a million ladders, each ten feet tall to see above them.
And to think sometimes I feel like I'm walking on the sun, imagine how many billions of ladders I need to feel like a million bucks.
My mom always asks me why I always leave home, and go out for long periods of time on my bike.
I dont think she understands I dont feel home, at "home".
So I'm out looking for one in mother natures heart.
It's 8:25 pm and I'm at the park again, no ones here, for safety I guess.
It looks like the sky is angry, its roaring a lot.
I dont think I should write about anyone anymore,
I feel like I'm not putting my mouth to use if I just write about someone and posting them in this website, thinking hopefully they'll click the link on my Instagram bio and read what I wrote about them.
I figured I'd say what I felt about them face to face now, it's better.
Also I wont cry as much at night when I reread what I wrote about them, when they're gone.
I have a lot of poeple to express to, eye to eye.
I owe it to them.
They've made their mark in my darkest of days.
So I'll use the best of my vocal chords to clear up their gray skies when they look up.
I hope to take away the gloomyness in your souls, because I feel a lot for you.
I meditated today, I forgot I was even alive for a few minutes until I snapped, soemtimes I wish I could meditate forever.
I don't know where people are going with anything, neither do I.
I just enjoy filling up notebooks with nonsense, and feeling happy.

My vision isn't as vivid as before, but I still notice everything.
There's some things that stick to me overtime and my 3rd eye is always open.
My dreams are based on conclusions, on brought to life "what ifs".
I wouldn't say dreams, because I'm afraid to sleep, so I'll call them nightmares.
The first time we slept together, I felt love like I never did.
It wasn't even the ******* causing this confusing feeling.
It was the look in your eyes that made me realize that this was more than just a few love letters.
I haven't felt heavy in a while, my tears don't need sympathy.
My cheeks deserve tides of my tears.
I'm nothing but a lonely star surrounded by tons of other stars that feel like tomorrow will deliberately break barriers in your soul.

I'm in love with her.


The story is being written within the doubts and sureness about eachother.

I might work in construction this summer, and lift heavy things to maintain a one bed apartment payed with labor in what determines your place in society; green paper

I might become a professional cross country runner, and wear my legs out every day to earn a circular carved piece of gold that I'll wear around my neck to feel superior for a few minutes, to feel like I've made an impact, when my own weight can't even make an impact on the concrete I step in with every stride I take, and sweat coming down my face like Pompeii

I might be a druggie to eliminate misery for a number of hours, to crack smiles I don't really feel because the key to my happiness broke in half while trying to open the twelve inch thick steel door in my heart...
So I'm using chemicals to melt away all of the metals in the periodic table that made this door impossible to break down even if I had a positive attitude, and an army throwing grenades at it that won't even leave a scratch on it..

So I'll be sitting next to this door, watching these compounds I took into my helpless body destroy the surroundings that resemble my sadness, and be left alone with an indestructible door, and all that I will want to feel... I wont

I'll become one with numbness, and become a still emotion in a dark place with a big door I will never open...
I'll admire its strength so hopefully my shaky hands can clench, and grow to be as powerful and brave enough to attack as the door defends what I aspire to be..
a human with meaning in showing my teeth and muscles in my face, that are truthfully moving without the help of a substance that deceives my feelings for hours
I might've broken the key, and my fists might be bruised and cracked, but there's no limits to will

But time is digging my grave without me moving a single bone in my body
To be looked back at as a legend that did nothing

I'll be posted on a plaque with my name and spirit in it, on a shaped piece of stone that people will stare at on a sunny day wearing all black while listening to the cries of my mother

"WHY DID HE HAVE TO GO, WHY HIM?"

"WHY GOD, WHY?"

Destiny doesn't exist, neither does coincidence
Time isn't for everyone, but it'll be mine
I won't have to rush to feel "free" from this "freedom" I'm living in
My consciousness will know, when my time is due
So mother, nothing will be your fault
Brother, I don't mind you bashing on me
Sister, I don't get mad when you scream at me for no reason, we all have bad days,
And father, I don't care if you never loved me,
It wont be your fault
Just understand that time gives and takes..
Thats all there is to it...

Time; humans limit to experiences

So now you know why I make bad decisions, now you know why I do certain things.


Now you know to blame time.

gulping unprescribed vyvanse, to focus on material mind deceiving things on social media to see what all the fuss is about

social media is a place for the "malaventurados" locked in screens, purposely

why are they scared to explore the wilderness

be one with  nature, breathe the air people from a million years ago were breathing, breathe the same air dinosaurs were breathing if you believe in that prehistoric timeline

isn't it great?

we're jailed in technology, in "innovation", in "better solutions to meet new requirements"

we're walking on innovative grids thinking it's okay to cherish the unrealistic programmed websites made by those who weren't saved in time

exploring the internet, is like exploring ways to lose the key to freedom, to lose the key to the feel of soft grass on your feet, to lose the
to key to the feel of air brushing against your skin

be one with the air Adam breathed
be one with the good and evil
be one with the sun that looked over at Jesus Christ when he was being crucified
be one with the God you believe in that loves you as much as Cane hated Abel
be one with the earth, because today is a new chapter in the earths rotation
today's a new series of self made bibles for artists to grasp, and paint on a smooth textured canvas
today's a new TV show for poets to emulate in sentences along with metaphors, comparing love to pain

be one with what's been here for you all along, from the ocean that's plentiful with everything you need to be happy

delusions made me believe i was really living on a platform of some kind,





     now i'm one with nature like a leaf in the wind moving from place to place during autumn.

it's what you do to me that makes me see that the summer isn't so bad when it comes to weather if you're around and act like the winter breeze
it's what you do that fragments and throws away my left over sadness in a hole that's feelings of the are forgotten
it's what you do that puts me to sleep at night because I know I'll wake up and know you'll be mine for the next 16 hours I'm awake
it's what you do that makes me write like I'm writing about a high power that I believe in
it's what you do that makes it seem like the sun and the moon aren't the only things that can light up my world with eternal hope when the sky resembles how I used to feel; blue, or when the sky resembles my biggest fear as an innocent minded 4 year old; the darkness
it's what you do that makes it seem like water isn't the only thing that can keep me alive, because your kisses hydrate my soul more than hydrogen and oxygen hydrate my body
it's what you do that makes me want to copy and paste my words on all that I feel about you inside a door in your heart and lock them with a key that I'll throw in the deepest area of the Atlantic ocean, not even the most powerful magnet in the universe could find it, because the sureness in my sentences I compose for you are meant to stay in your heart like well thought of tattoos without hesitations on inking your skin permanently for the rest of eternity
it's what you do that makes me run the mile in 4 minutes and 53 seconds hoping you'd be at the end of the 5,280 feet I ran
it's what you do that makes think overcoming what I think is impossible at the moment is possible
it's what you do that makes me proud to stand by your side when we're walking hallways full of shame and disappointment
it's what you do that made me realize a believer of God can love a doubter of his word, an opposition to my morals
it's what you do that made me believe some blessings are everlasting, like you
it's what you do that makes me wish I could tattoo my kisses on your face to remind you that I love every inch of what you don't like when you look in the mirror to make your insecurities irrelevant to what I admire
it's what you do that makes me see that comparing galaxies to your eyes don't do them justice
it's what you do, that makes me love you as much as I do, as much as I always have, as much as I always will.

does your weight make an impact on the your galaga patterned carpet?
do letters really give your experiences justice?
do cameras really capture moments you'll never see again
they cant capture the feeling you were feeling what's seeing to a feeling?
a visual memory to limited words? limited meaning? limited energy?
what is emotion in a passion? describing motives from your soul into motions?
what is purpose?
what's an answer to a question?
common sense?
whats common sense?
limited senses?
i cant think right now.

I don't have to think about anything in particular when I write about you, I guess flattering you with words is an instinct

Like the leaves falling in autumn, my hand flows naturally while capturing photos of you in sentences.

Like a Christian mom prays for her children every night, and see the blessings the next day, you presence does the same without the help of a higher power


and it feels like you're the only sense I have.

trouble in the city
no loyalty in your vision
trouble in your mind
no passion in movement

pull the trigger if your life isn't your home
pull the trigger if your home is in someone's heart
if they drop it, lose your feelings

i climbed up the mountains and I havent yet found reason in seasons

dont look for me in your purse like the grief in your heart

gold days are deceiving

and black clouds are refreshing

I've never felt this way about anything significant other than a drawing I still have since I was in 1st grade


I've lost a few feelings along the years

I'll never feel the same

I have a thing for loving and hating time.

What is time? A limit limit.

The sun and the moon don't determine what I get to do at a certain time in between the 24 hours in the day, time heals the wound, but there's also time to remember how much you've lost.

What is good?
What is bad?

A title to your actions based on your thoughts?

I'm confused, and I just woke up.

I've seen people die and come alive
I've seen people drain in misery
I've seen people look like meadows and rainbows
I've seen people sink in blues
I've seen people come and go for the better
I've felt the wrath of the power people hold with my heart in their hands
I've felt the holes they fill in become empty overtime
I've felt a lot, but time is filled with feelings and I'm barely 16
I have a lot to feel and a lot to see


My dear friends, we've all been a little blue
My dear friends, we all wish for the best
My dear friends, the best comes within tornadoes


My dear friends, you're the breeze in my summer vibes
I swear, my dear friends, you are my destiny and have made my fat suicide letters anorexic

I'm scared of dentists picking at my teeth
I'm scared of all my friends turning their backs on me
I'm scared of everyone feeling the same way about everything
I want the sky to be a propeller and rain my feelings to everyones heart for insight and maybe one day they can do the same so I can have insight
I just wanna know what you think
I just wanna know what everyone thinks
I wanna know what kind of music they listen to that makes them feel a certain way
I have a lot to feel in the coming years
So please stay in my voyage and let's talk about what haunts your thoughts before you go to sleep

When the stars dont shine

I'll know you're dead

When the grass in the prairies are yellow

I'll know you're dead

When the city lights dont catch my attention anymore

I'll know you're dead

When I dont see anymore blessings

I'll know you're dead

When the sun is the brightest thing I see in sight

I'll know you're dead because you're my light to my dark and cloudy days

When a guitars sound makes me sad everytime I hear it

I'll know you're dead

When I dont have a reason to wake up to

I'll know you're dead

When the night comes and there's no one to say "Goodnight I love you" to

I'll know you're dead

When I write you these poems
And read them to you

Dont be afraid

Because I love you and mean everything in them

You're alive, and God keeps blessing me everyday you're alive

Don't be afraid of anything, because I love you

You're alive

The night isn't so dark after all, and the dark isn't so scary after all

The sun isn't so bright after all

You're alive

if you think too much you wont get **** done.

“Dear Lord, I know I am the angel you most regret.
Forgive me for my misunderstood intentions.
Forgive me for the drugs I take in just to be right beneath your feet.
Forgive me for the sins I commit without regretting them.
Forgive me if I’m not a strong enough soldier to defend your word when unbelievers bash on your greatness.
Forgive me.”


**stands up and wipes the dirt off his prickly knees

when i became a menace to myself,
i found myself voluntarily doing the impossible
and the only possible action i could do is breathe and hum along to songs,
rhythmic patterns that build me and straighten my knees up
my eyes were looking down at the fractures on the earth, looking at my fingers stick out the dry yellow dead grass
my degradation was thought to be six feet below
i’m 5’6 and my fingers sticking out were reaching towards a tower of magic and happy prisons
dreams of sceneries, full of laughter and reassurance
full of trust and rich environments
and not even a trickle above a gram of *******, can make you seem this close to Gods feet
and you’ll share playlists to the ones who want to fly without wings off of buildings
and re-up for their sake
you’ll see the variant in the sky you cried to for years
and arrogate your state of emotion
you’ll be gone