I kinda smiled while listening to a song
noticed this guys always writing about loss and love
It caught me a bit off guard
only because it's a pretty nice thing to write about
and for me it's been awhile

That's not to say I haven't been happy
there's a moment atleast once a day
where the thought of you chases the sad clouds away
and even when I'm down you can turn a frown into a smile

in your arms I can turn my brain off
in your eyes I can see a knight in shining armor
if I spend too long pressed against your lips
the world stands still, pausing all my thoughts

I can admit I'm in love
I can admit I'm in love
I can admit I'm in love

Don't be just **** or *****.
Trust, **** gets old real quick.

When you wonder why nobody wants more than that.

Especially when there's options and people always have them. Morals and Ethics delay that.

Be more.
Have substance.
Switch the norm up.

People are fickle and there's always someone out there with either completely better qualities and skills or unique skills you are unable to obtain.

Dont stand at the shore and not make waves.

Be the kindling that makes that fire burn bright, you know?

And if you don't understand what the fire is, that could be another reason.

Because it's possible for any light to go out.

Don't let it get to the point where you have to cup your hands to keep away the final breeze that takes it out.

<3

Like an empty cavern
This hollow secret place was once barred and closed off
Till you stepped in like a miner
with your lamp of words and touch
You turned this place into your home
Little did I know, day by day
You'd dig in close
And chip away at me
more and more
Till the day you cast me like a die in a game
I couldn't yet know I was to be a pit stop
on your road to find a place to go
I was not the knight that had come to rescue you, if only it were so
I went from being a lonely soul
To now understanding what more the world could hold

I know it wasn't the end goal
But my naivety
Left me without a way to know that I would be
a paper castle in a storm....

What exactly, is love?

A flickering candle that can be snuffed,
or a volcano that can only erupt when there's too much pressure on it...?

What is true and what is pure?
Does it count if it's out of hate or spite?

Does the spoken three-word saying, actually mean anything?

Can you have it and so easily take it away?

If that is so....then whats the point?

If you know it to be true in your heart, if you want it, then why avoid it and pretend it never existed?

This is about the woman that I love
well more on how she makes me feel
The thoughts that fill my head
when she's near
and when I'm far

detaching is part of my schedule
it helps me stop my mind from overflowing
a temporary peace
that's needed, but I wanna breach that dam

I've gotta admit, I'm coming to realize
how heavy the past can be
like infinite internal suffering
but why is it that you can make me feel like I'm floating
Like I'm above all the negativity that feels imbedded within me

I'm more afraid of how much happiness i feel I've attained
I'm even more afraid of chasing you away
when I say the things I say

I wanna be who you see when you look at me...

A raindrop from the sky
A cruel mimic
of what happened to my heart
How far it fell when you left my heart

Im slipping away,
I just hope you're going through the same

The same way
right to the bottom of the sea

Like a raindrop from the sky

Constantly
on my mind
pounding
As fast as the beat you feel
when you put your hand over your heart

I need to be better
I need to get better
I need to be better
I need to get better
I can't stay this way anymore

I hate it
but I can't scream

Just one day I hope I can be who you believe me to be
whoever or whatever it is that you see

Night time was my life and I didnt care about anything outside my room

All that existed was me and my loneliness, and I didnt care about anything.

You couldnt see me

I was a shadow, a ghost in this world and I had lost my voice from never having to say anything
I was by myself and nothing else mattered.

I would see the outside world but I was so inside myself, that nothing else mattered anymore.

My stare was devoid of anything you could understand.

I was nothing that you could want, nothing that you would need

Slipping through the world as all my feelings were bottled up, everything

bouncing off the corridors back and forth in my mind
I was hidden in my mind

And now that Ive opened up, all of me, it overflows

All I can say is, from what I was, all I need is my mind and my heart

And ever since I got a taste of what Ive been missing, I cant go back

Ive tried but, I cant go back...

My soul is set on
'visible'
when
I'm in
the shower.

The sooner you accept
that they won't see you for who you really are
the sooner you can bottle it all up
and
pretend to be who they want you to be

Hello , how are you
What would you like?
No problem, that'll be $2.67
Yes , the prices go up without us knowing
Here you go, have a great day
(are you ok? You good?)
(I'm fine)
Where do you want me?
Ok, I finished, now where?
I just put out milk, are they just guzzling it?
(are you ok, you good?)
(yeah, I'm good)
Hi. Yes. Iced or hot?
ICED or hot?
$4.25.
Have a great day.
Can I clock out now?
See you tomorrow.
(Im so tired of saying "I'm ok." Because then I think about it and realize, I'm not always okay. I'm just....living. The only way I know how to.)

You ain't see nothing
You ain't see nothing
How could you even say that
How could you even say that

There's no one better
There's no one better
How could you even say that
How could you even say that

If I ,could see through your eyes
Well then I, could live a life

You ain't see nothing wrong
With me
There's no one better
than you

Something makes you
Something makes you
perfect.....

Falling away
like leaves from autumn trees
Like summer departing
it feels quite alarming
how fast it became hard to sleep
No longer easy to walk ever since
the spring in my step
became a web that entangles
my world
of winter
it's become so cold
since all of my friends have gone
and the question
echoes and echoes inside my mind
What have I done?

Sometimes I feel like a spectre
drained of all my joy like I'm at a party for dementors
Ooo sometimes I feel so restrained
ooo sometimes the prison is my brain

Patronus
I'm phoning
please come light the way

Patronus
I might be folding
I'm trying not to lose your face....

She said "You have lips like clouds"
Like something only an angel would know, ya know

I believe you're magical, a fact you've shown
I've read so many books, so would know
I just thought you should know

I wasn't willing
to share, to share
trying to open your heart, oh boy don't you dare

I want you in
in the most intricate way
Im sprung and spinning
like im caught in a web

I see you there
I see you there
I see you there
I see you there

Look at me again
with those guarded eyes,
freckled with bitterness
like glitter, and the forgotten love you can still taste on your tongue.

Do you breath a sigh of relief, now that you're gone?

My want is an ungranted wish
Since my words shot down all of the stars
That you once cast your gaze upon.

Absence is a way to remember me
I wonder if that's just what you think

Your actions tend to get a reaction
Shocked when it isn't what you expect it to be

Think about it all
Before you blame it all
On me
Can't see you're in the wrong
Thinking it's okay for this to be

Contrary to popular belief when I speak on these things
I know the world doesn't revolve around me

I'm kind of stuck
At least... I think I am
Somewhere between telling everyone I know to *******
And "just please come hold me friend"

Some place in between an uneasy heart and hectic mind

"I'm depressed"
Can't I just say it without having to explain why?
Sometimes I don't even know which reason to choose

Short replies

"You seem like you don't want to talk"

You're right, but I also want to reach out
I want out
I want to let go of everything
And capture it all in my arms

like a fire fly in the palm of restless hands,
Just let me hold on to your light
Atleast, just for tonight

Because I'm feeling stuck.

Through your tears
And my actions
Our fire went out
Our fire went out

your voice echoing
we're better than this
when you've broken down
when you've broken down

Though I have found
A life without love
just feels like I've drowned

Your heart now in a home without doors
this experience constructed your decor
Out of memories
Guilt, blame, and shame
A spell left behind keeps
you locked away.....
Maybe someone can release you
someday

I wait, you show
I smirk, you smile
We walk, hands reach
Grab hold, just joy
That's lovely.

The light is dim
and in the quiet I hear
sniffling
my baby is crying again

I know the feeling
like a pain you can't soothe away

As I sit here and wonder
**** it babe, I'm crying again

I'll hold you till it passes
until it comes around again
I'll hold you till it passes
until it comes around again

Depths of the mind
Feelings arise, and fade
Like a wisp of smoke
Something peaks over the horizon
A conflicting emotion

Along the lines of something and nothing
Amidst a battle of my dark
and the yearn of a glimpse of your light....
I'm not alright

The definition of insanity isn't always doing the same thing and expecting different results

Sometimes, it's believing in a glamour

and at the end
when you're broken
scarred, fractured
and penniless
finally seeing the numerous curtains fall
finding that the creature you've had faith in
shattered everything

All the ones that have become before
Have become teachers in lessons I didn't know I was taking part of

Accidentally entering classes where I learned of

Love, lust
Smiles, distrust
Guilt through temporary fun
Beauty and how tears can tear apart the fabric of a fabricated realities

Now I only want to be a scholar who puts their education to good use

Can I show you the results of a combined effort, and thank the ones who matter?

Can I be what they never wanted someone else to have

To you?

I smile
and I laugh
but quietly I mourn who I used to be

I joke
and I check in on you
but quietly
I'm losing sight of who I used to be

In moments of mental clarity
I can say maybe it's just in my head

But the past few days
in the dead of night
I constantly wonder if I'll really be alright

It feels like something is broken inside

I constantly wonder if I'll really be alright

Tracing these fingers
along your pretty face
why you've graced me with your presence
I could not say

I am undeserving
to say the least
and no matter what you say
it's hard for me to ever believe in
any of the good you see in me

you wake and your lips form a smile
I freeze for a moment
but eventually figure out how to with my face
I'm still not good with showing genuine feelings
I feel broken but your smile does something to me
untangles my insides and makes me feel
like I can breathe

I am undeserving
to say the least
and no matter what you say
it's all I can believe in
is that I love you
and for some reason unknown
you also love me