I’m sitting in my car
Chain smoking,
It’s raining hard,
Rivers run through
The side walk
Making it a little cleaner,
Waterfalls rush down
The roof tiles,
The sound of it
hitting the ground
As thought inducing
As the nicotine
My body keeps
Asking for.

Thoughts of Her
Paint me a pretty picture.

She loved my writing,
She read all of it,
The love I had for Her
Could be felt
Through the screen,
Through the paper,
Even Through my lips
Whenever I had the courage
To tell Her.

I could see it in Her skin,
My words marching
With bayonets and
Strikingly bright
Torches that lit up
The whole room,
My hands rightfully  
Followed,
Climbing up Her legs,
Up and down Her hips,
Moving up Her back.

In days like these
The rain would be
The least of our
Problems.

It would be how much
I wanted Her..

And how much
She wanted me.

I see myself
Tumbling down
The hill once more,
The grass scratches
My back and arms
rocks cover themselves
As I come rolling
Past them,
Hitting every last one,
I cry and plead
for forgiveness,
I ask god for time
And time again
I ask for a glimpse
Of the garden
On the other side,
I bury my nails
Into the skin of the earth
I crawl past the rain,
I crawl past the heat,
The undying days
And remorseful nights,
my heart starts to pound
As the smell of jasmines
Mists down the peak,
The ground crumbles.
And I see myself
tumbling down
To silence once again.

Can I call?
I want to listen
To you sing
What you've
done lately,
Hear you crack
Open a can
Of laughter
That has been
Saved up
In the attic
For the past
Few months.
Rations you
Had saved
Up for a
Better day,
I want to
Be quiet
With you.
And hear
You say
That everything
Will be okay.

In the quiet of night,
I’ll sit near the amber
Scented candle,
I’ll stretch my hand
Over the flame that
Sits on top like a bee
Peacefully sleeping
On the petal of
A sunflower,
I’ll stir it up,
Let it sting
Until the night
Not so quiet anymore
Blows out the flame,
Seeing it dance before
It becomes absence
And pollen.

This morning I woke up
with music rolling
down my sleeves,
I sit up and as a soft ballad
That the universe sings
Runs laps on
the rims of my ears,
Making me jump up from my bed
To slowly put out my arms,
I can barely keep my eyes open
As I look to see
My right hand holding
unto the hips of the non existent,
My left hand grabbing
Tightly unto the hand of memories,
I waste saliva to ask the quiet room
If they are ready yet,
I don’t wait for an answer,
I slide through the path
That has been walked upon,
I twist and turn and smile.
I let the emptiness
rest upon my arms
As I let her down
as close to the ground as I can
Just to bring her back up
In a subtle graceful movement.
The music stops
and I let go.

I traverse the clouds today,
In search of a better day,
Forgotten eyes,
A momentary break
From what the past
Brought and the
Future will bring.

I look out my window,
And suddenly there you
Are again.

You are the blend of
orange and blue
That stretches
from south to north.
So pretty to the common eye,
So undetected to the ones
That don’t know you.

You are the feeling of peace
I feel when the plane
Shakes to the ground
Just to set himself straight
Before touching concrete.

You are the
Air underneath
The wings,
That takes us
To my destination,
And All I wish
is to be grounded
Once again.

Oh, how I’ve missed you,
Shining jewel of the Caribbean,
Petite isle of the eccentric.
I still remember your streets,
The way they curve up the mountains,
Mountains that you can see from the coast
Where the water rages war against
The corals and the sea wall.

I’ve seen you at your lowest,
Broken down by the winds
Of prophesies,
Your people cried blood
And sweated through your
Unrelenting days.

Oh, but the way the cosmos dressed
The night sky, clashing with your beauty.
It was almost worth all the pain and suffering.

I want to
go right
And pick
the perennial
flowers
That cover
what the eye
can see,
I’ve seen
the Fields
of Indian blankets
And spider lilies

I think
of myself
laying Down
and resting
my eyes
As the sunset
showers me
With color
and despair.

Today
I’ll go left
instead
To see
what waits
For me there.

Lynch the non believers
Who’s god is only themselves,
They will never find peace
In the fruit of a tree
that Feeds them lies.

Lynch the believers,
Who’s fear drives them
And Makes them follow
A man who preaches peace.

Don’t trust the ones who gossip,
Let them roll around in the mess
They have created
Always finding their
Actions have consequences.

Measure the victim
Who cries wolf
With thoughts of
A later day.

let the accused
Be accused,
Until the night
Turns into day.

Help the man that tells you
He is not feeling okay today.

Find other ways to find peace
And let yourself be happy.

Across the street
From where I’m sitting on
An older blonde lady
Cries her eyes out,
Her friend or girlfriend or wife
Consoles her, making her laugh
In between tears.

I wonder what keeps
Them up at night

They won’t remember
this moment ,
Not because it’s not special
But because she seems so
Good at making her
Happy, even though
She was just
Crying herself
A puddle underneath
Her feet.

This was not
The first time.

I think to myself
I should have made her laugh
As thoughts of yesterday
Run through her mind
Ease the pain that can’t be
Eased with paper towels
And ice packs

The sky is getting darker
It looks like it’s about to rain
I should tell them to run
Back inside.

I wouldn’t want it
To ruin their night.

As the sun sets,
I see familiar
And unfamiliar cars
Driving by

People that like me
Have highs like
No other,
And lows that
They’ll never get over.

I look out into the street
One last time
As cicadas sing their blues,
I wonder who’s truly right
Or who’s terribly wrong.

How boring it must be
To be able to wake up in
The morning and do
What you need to do.

I will dance around
My kitchen table
As dishes pile up.

I will lay on my bedroom
Floor as the laundry
Screams that it needs
To be done,

I would go into the bathroom
If it wasn’t for the person
In the mirror that despises
Me so much.

Oh but when I get that spark,
That little moment of clarity,
time stops,

I become a fraud and can’t write
Poems anymore,
But the way my hands move
Around the dishes,
How fast the laundry walks itself.

It must be perfect to live
Like this forever,
But oh, how boring.

I sit outside in 100
Degree weather
Sweating bullets
while Smoking
my first cigarette
Of the day

Even if it’s torture
I actually enjoy
How it feels

Raw and unfiltered
Just like the thoughts,
That rumble away
In the form of questions
And ****** encounters
That haven’t happened
And probably never will

I crumble under the heat,
As I sit patiently
Waiting for the noise
Of the wasp
That flies near me
To go away

So I can light
another cigarette,
And expect to forget
How love felt.

Oh, how beautiful you are.
Shiny amethyst that hides
Within the branches,
Coming out as
Deemed worthy

The sun showers you
With gifts,
The rain feeds you
Lies of another day.

One could say,
You are the sunrise,
the sunset,
Everything in between.
Even what’s left of green
In this planet.

The waves fall short
Of your feet,
Hoping that in other Lives
They may soak
The roots
That bound you.

Storms will try to ****** you,
Take you far away from here
Tell you that this isn’t what
You need,What you want.

Oh, how gorgeous,
Purple stone full of nectar,
You are the very thing
That I breathe.

They say death
Feels Peaceful,
Then it must feel
Like the shade
Of the branches
Of an old tree
Dancing with
The summer breeze,
Giving the sun
Enough space
To warm up
A specific spot
On my face.

I haven’t
experienced
That side
of death yet.

I’ve seen how
It hides
in the rot
Of the well
deserving,
Bringing peace
to those who
Yearn it.

I’ve seen
The cries
Of those
Who fear
It.

I sit
Underneath
The tree
Feeling
Peaceful today.

So
Maybe
Another
Day.

I cherish the days
I get out of bed
Without thinking twice
About it.

Walk to the bathroom
Brush my teeth,
Feel the water upon my face.

I cherish the days
I can go
Up and down
The stairs.

Go to the kitchen
And make something
To eat.

I cherish the days
everything
has the scent
Of coconut and vanilla.

The sun rises
from the east
And sets
in the west

I cherish the days
I realize I want to live.

I walk behind empty gas stations
And broken windows,
My palms sweaty from the heat,
I think of the polar caps
Slowly melting away.

I open the door to my apartment,
I sit down on my leather couch,
My hands are no longer sweaty
But, I am still sad.

Please gods, help me get up
Today it’s one of those days
When I just want to lay all day
Hide in between the sheets
Fight monsters in my dreams
They are nicer.

The way your eyes glisten
when you smile,
Remind me of the white
sand back home,
Warm to the touch,
getting washed ashore
With the reminder of foam
and one more night.

The sea rocks itself to sleep
while you talk,
Even in times of storm
you would give me peace,
The sun comes up
and comes down when you
Say the word
and can’t seem to keep up with
The way your lips curl.

The way you walk,
the way you think.
God, if there’s a god
he must have been proud
Of making you.

The sea will come for me,
drown me underneath
the weight,
tell me that
what I’m feeling is wrong
But how can I be wrong
when all of that stops when you talk.

I can’t keep up with you,
and I probably never will.
But if you gave the word,
if you told me you needed
me for a moment
I would miss an airplane
to be there for
you.

Even if I’ve seen this everywhere,
in movies
in books,
in songs.

I will never get to love you
how I want
to love
you.

And it’ll always be my fault.

I lay on the floor
besides my bed,
My cats wondering
what’s wrong with me,
Walking back and forth
And back and forth,
Just to end up laying on the
Floor with me
I’m trying to sleep
To forget,
How your eyes gleamed
Hurt and betrayal,
I’ll get up today
And tomorrow
And the day after that.
But on some days,
I can’t wait to lay
On the floor to think
About you one more
Time
Until the day it’ll be the last.

I wish i could pass out
in your arms
and
wake up in your bed.

Wake up, smoke a bowl
and go back to sleep
on your sun kissed skin,
so warm to the touch.
Getting warmer as my fingers
lay thoughts and trails down your hair.

Lay on your chest
and let my hands wrap
around you,
trace the mountain range
that runs down your back.

And for one last time,
Make you happy.

It feels like I should want you,
My heart misses yours,
He will follow me forever,
Dreaming in broad daylight
Here but not truly here.

“How do you not want that anymore?”
My heart tells me time after time
Just to remind me of this empty spot besides me
Emptiness that I fill with stars, with clouds
And a little bit of regret.

“Things are just not meant to be”
I tell my heart as I wake up.
I tell my heart as I brush my teeth.
I tell my heart as I put on clothes.

I tell my heart
“You belong to me, be it in love or not”

Hoy, amanecí de nuevo.  
Sin querer, como si alguien más me hubiera
Jalado por el pecho
Poniéndome de pie
Y Como un soldado no ascotumbrado
Caigo de nuevo,
Levantándome de mi descanso,
Dejándome queriendo más,
Pidiendo como un pordiosero
Volver a soñar.

Se me olvido como soñar,
Me acuesto y me despierto,
Como un niño que no tiene más nada
Por que vivir.

Se me olvido como vivir,
Vivir mi vida sin tanta carga en mis hombros,
Carga que no existe, pero a la vez me deja cansado, preparándome para otra noche
De no soñar.

Quiero soñar, quiero vivir, quiero.
Yo también quiero.

Pero que quiero?

I was thinking,
And while I was thinking,
My name wasn’t called,
I wasn’t needed like I was needed before
And how quiet it was drove me down
A dark road.

Home,
My soul
outside
my body
People step
back when
you talk
Flowers bloom
when you smile
The sun comes
up when you
open your eyes
As you walk,
someone walks
away without
You leaving
their gaze.

And as
summer
rains start
to fall
The clouds
howl in despair,
The stars tremble
in fear and
The moon whispers
into my ear
pass laments

“I can’t cry anymore”
I tell the moon,
“I just want to die”

I stare out my window,
Waiting for you my love,
Trying so hard to stand still,
So you recognize me
Even if I’ve grown old and wrinkled,
And my dear, please don’t cry,
As my flowers by my window wilt
Call 911 they need some help.

Please, Please don’t let them die.
Since you left,They have been my only friend
Since you left, they learned to love me
Since you left I’ve grown to love my flowers,  maybe It was wiser For them to wilt before me,
They loved me more than I loved them.

They couldn’t handle the pain of seeing me
Pass away by my window,
Waiting for you.

I woke up today,
My thoughts scrambling
Through my head,
The noise is uncomfortable,
So much that I can’t go back to sleep.

I stand up to go to work,
I untie my hands and do my usual,
I get dressed and out of the corner of my eye
Shadows dance and drink, making a mess of my room.

I try not to pay attention, as they drop me down the stairs, right to my front door.

I reach for the doorknob,
I grab and tap it.
Waiting for it to open,
But shivers run down my spine.

As my lungs fill with red and oranges as I inhale
And an emptiness only the woods understand
As I exhale,
My hands continue to tap the doorknob
From Right to left
A symphony to my hears,
Dopamine On the tip of my fingers

Suddenly but not so sudden
the door opens,

And I feel,
I feel like a knight without his armor,
Like a doctor without his stethoscope,
Like a prisoner without his cell
Like a kid without his favorite toy.

Maybe I feel too much,
Maybe feeling is not the problem here,
Maybe I’m wondering about the wrong thing
And I need to remind myself to breath
Because the emptiness its unbearable.

Something is missing,
I should go back inside.

Lately it feels wrong to write,
It feels like there’s not enough time
For what I’m trying to do,
For what I’m trying to say,

I feel trapped in a room
That recollects memories
Like a homeless man
Collects pennies and dimes
And blesses the people who
Give it to him.

Instead I get summer rains,
Days passing by,
A roof over my head,
And maybe, just maybe,
I’ll get blessed with a wonderful day
Where nothing matters,
Not even the rain,
Nor these invasive thoughts
That go knocking at my door.

I open the door to say hi,
They always lead with smiles
And open arms,
This time they tell me to let my car deform itself around a tree,
To hug it and never let it go.

But it’s one of those days I don’t care
About what they say,
So they left leaving a little pamphlet behind.

I believe there’s good things,
I believe in breathtaking moments,
I believe in the times
where the stars look just right,
I believe there’s good in people,
Even if the bad stands out,

I believe there’s bad things,
I believe in nights
where it’s a little too dark,
I believe there’s times where
You believe you are playing chess
With life, and suddenly,
there’s no one playing with you,
And check mate seems to be 2 moves away

I believe that with happiness, comes sadness.
I believe that with rage, comes peace.
I believe that with lies, comes the truth.

I sit here with a moving clock
to my left waiting to be stopped,
waiting for life to sit down,
and finish what it started.

I believe in Good and bad,
I believe there’s a beginning,
But I’m scared there’s no end.

My chest
Spiraling out of control,
Surrounding my heart
with this nasty feeling
A feeling I though long forgotten.

And I stand here,
Physically standing,
Mentally laying
down in a fetal position,
Trying to withstand
This abusive parent
I call my mind.

Cold sweat
rolls down my face,
Like a river to
his way to the sea,
Embarking on a journey
He already embarked before.

And just like dejavú,
It keeps happening over and over again.

“It’s raining outside”
I say as we lay on the bed,
You sleeping on my chest,
The sound of it hitting the ceiling,
The chills it brings with it,
And us just existing together,
Two people that
didn’t know truly
what love was
Loving each other,
Learning along the way.

the rain gets heavier,
I can feel the warmth
of your every breath
on my stomach
Letting me know that
We are both alive.

I fall asleep with you,
And when I wake up
Still drunk on love
You tell me

“It’s raining outside”

life is full of efforts




the effort to breathe,to walk, to think, to talk, to be.




Then you walked in.

Let’s run
from the inevitable ,
Let’s leave our city,
and buy a hut,
close to the edge
of the world,
Closer to the lies
than the truth,
Closer to the things
that keeps us waiting
for more than misery
and a cloudy night sky.

Let’s escape,
The unexpected,
the inescapable,
Let’s run away.

And if you ever
leave me, my love,
The edge of the world
will comfort me,
In the darkest of days,
On the unstable nights,
I’ll fall through
mountain range,
and waterfalls
of despair,
Just to wake up
by your side.

Just to fall back
asleep to the rhythm
and warmth
of your breath.

let’s run away
to the edge
of the world,
not to jump off,
But for once Live.

I can be a really skeptical person,
I don’t believe in ghost, and just think of weird things that happen as coincidences,

But, as flower petals magically float down toward my passenger seat, just before I close my car door.

I felt chills, as if memories from past lives rushed through my skin like electricity when you touch a Walmart cart.

Instant, waiting for a reaction.

And if that isn’t one hell of a metaphor,
I don’t know what is.

When you go chase after your truest desires
and feel places where there wasn't a fire before burning,
In a rage of passion,
as hot as the sun and the stars,
as bright as dawn,
and the night doesn't symbolize
sadness and depression anymore ,
and the moon isn't loneliness,
and the stars aren't laughing at me,
from above
the place they rest,

And like that
begin to transform the magic
you emit
into a breath of my soul,

breathing again,
water becomes oxygen,
i'm not drowning
in the depths of myself
Anymore.

Thanks to you,
My Love.

one night
i went to sleep
thinking of you,
my body
became
a church,
your thought
the holy spirit,
me sleeping
was just,
finding new
ways to hold
you tight,
While my
Hands
Traverse
Your back
In search
Of gold.

But it all
just disperses
in thin air as
i let out
a small sigh,
And step
up from
my bed,
Through
The mist
Just to fall
to the ground,

I'm bleeding
now,
I've tried
to destroy
this temple,
that worships
you,
but no
matter
how hard
i hit,
It doesn’t
Seem to
Fall.

imagine,
sitting in some rocks
at the border of the beach,
wondering,
feeling adventurous,
Asking the milky way for
permission
as our lips interlock ,
and our minds become one,

the sound of the sea becomes our bed,
the light the stars emit,
becomes the electricity
between touches,

both of us not able to open our eyes,
as the moons reflection in the ocean
showers us with gratitude,
the blood racing though my veins,
gravity pulling me down as
my breathing becomes heavier

i feel high on happiness and adrenaline,

who would have thought the next moment
i would be drowning in the sea.

I'm here sitting
alone,
the smell of coffee runs through
my veins,
some music i probably will forget
in a few years arguing with
the thought of you,

But I'm here,
I'm here,
writing about what's happening

pretty boring huh?

i call myself a poet
but i can't use high metaphors,

i call myself a poet
but i can't describe fully
how you make me feel

i call myself a poet

but what am i?

I'm just a kid
scared of life
finding new ways to cope
searching for someone to love,
desperate,
not holding unto my dreams
how can i choose with my mind
what's right for the heart to choose.

and you see?
don't you see?

don't worry i can't either

i can't see how great i am
i can't see how other people see me
i wish i could.

i want to believe this was a dream
or
a nightmare at that.

But at last.
I'm here wishing that in another life
i could be with you,
or
maybe in other deaths,

i crave your touch,
i crave you..
with coffee waking up my senses
like a kid in summer waking up early
to go play with his friends.

i wish things were different,
so i wouldn't have to wish.

Mil besos
No replicaran lo que siento
Ni lo que hay entre mis sesos
Empiezo, Te explicó,
Sin embargo palabras no se traducen
A lo que pienso,
Te siento,
Tan cerca de mi,
Pero a la misma vez tan lejos
Como a las estrellas en la noche, que brillan fuera de mi alcance,
Como el fondo del mal, que me arropa entre sal y sufrimiento,
El olor de tu ropa trae pensamientos
Que entre tú y yo
No son tan Santos,
Tu pasado y presente
No se comparara a tu futuro
Ya que será diferente conmigo a tu lado
Te diré cuantas veces te extraño,
Te diré te amo,

Y yo siempre esperare
Ese “más”

Like Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon,
I was the first man on your lips,
Flying like an owl at noon
I will still feel them in space.
That sweet taste of your tongue
Will stick to me until I drop dead.
Stupid and dumb thoughts come to my head
When I think of your close eyes,
Staring steadily at nothing,

Gravity is non existent
And I feel like we are dropping
Miles over miles,
Of forgotten words,
Kilometers of memories,
Kisses I didn’t give you
Hugs I have missed
And like the man on the moon,
We got old and cold,
I miss your touch,
I miss your closed eyes,
Your eyelashes,
Your nose racing to hug mine

I miss those moments,
Just like Neil misses the shadow of earth,

Time teaches us to love,
To give into the unknown
I haven’t heard your voice
In so long
Im starting to think you don’t talk,
Do we talk anymore?
More and more I’ve noticed,
How the moon was so tempting,

And at the same time,
All I didn’t want

⁃ Just Blank