Love is not an act or feeling
Love must be a way of being
Within yourself, not someone else
Or it won't survive distress
Cause life is pretty much a mess
No matter what you do regardless
So if you want to love, caress
All the depths and purposes
That are lying in yourself
Everyone has their bear to tame
And you did it, so can they
It is not part of the game
To play for others or to frame
Things as to be needed, cause as above
Stated, that ain't love

Life is pretty much a mess,
So live for yourself, anyways
You won't miss what's meant for you
So there's nothing else to do
Really in the outside world,
In the end,
Love's inside work.

_M.

I'll play guitar, you go to sleep
In the morning I will meet
Your eyes again,
But until then
My love, sleep well.
_M.

Like digging graves in the backyard
Or an emotional credit card
You can put things aside for a bit
But if you wait and wait for it
To go away, you'll end up with
A garden full of what is dead
And an inner world in debt.

_M.

Hope can never be hopeless
Just like you can never be homeless
Just like you can never not progress
Or just like you can never be loveless
Or heartless or mindless or worthless or soulless
For you are my home, and if you're something,

You're endless.

_M.

Live
in
Ode
to the
Voyage
of
Ephemerality

_M.

Its all part of grief, all part of life
Suffering and pain and strife
And smiles and comedy and fun
The stars, the moon, the skies and sun
They're all aspects of this cool "one"
That some have come to know as God
Or Nirvana, Universe
They are all words in the verse
Of seeing life through your own lens
There wouldn't be as much suspense
Without heavier words such as
The death of love or a sad pass
Poetry comes through the contrast
Of sea and stone and monotone
Is something no one should aim for
When reading about themselves,
If you're in pain, congratulate yourselves
You dont realize how much
Life you're living with the touch
Of grief that you're letting be seen
You've never been more akin
To love than now, the lines are full
Not half like the sun at noon

So while it hurts and brings much dread
I need to admit love is dead
And it is not coming back
At least not on the same track

And I'll be honest it's not fun,
Sometimes not even the least
But they don't call it "good grief"
For nothing...

Do they? =))

_M.

He's nervous, could tell from a glance
This right here is his first dance
And she is nervous, he looks bold
And wants to express what's untold

And they are nervous but the music
Is easing the vibe down a bit
And she doesn't really know
What steps to do or where to go

So she's letting the waves bring
Momentum to this heating link
And he's the same, he has no clue
That the unknown brings in the new

So step by step and song by song
Their souls and bodies float along
Through an ocean of emotions
The breeze is faith, the sail is long
Enough to carry both
To dry land and to make cloth
To protect them from the rain
And unnecessary pain

Some is needed though to gain
Understanding and to frame
Thoughts and feelings the right way
It is not enough to pray
That magically they'll go away.

So sail even some more along
In faith and hum a sailor's song
And live and laugh and smell the scent
Of acceptance in the present
Because really, there's no end
Or beginning in the face
Of this scary pretty grace
We're living.

_M.

I woke up and I said "**** it
Enough of "it is what it is."
Today I am not feeling it
May life be what I make of it."

_M.

Banane și unt de arahide,
Două corpuri dezvelite
De emoții și de haine
Și de-ncercări de măști "faine"
Fără concepte teoretice
Doar firi autentice
Mic dejun la pat și răsărit
Și o carte de citit,

Muzică pe fundal.

_M.

I know that for now you don't see much

In yourself, and that the touch

Of God on your head seems quite far

You still cry each day so hard

The clouds are struggling to keep up

And you just went all in pre-flop

On yourself, in life, decided to become a giver

To yourself, flow with the river

Play the cards you have been given

And the devil's bluffing well

Deceiving you people can tell

How horrible you're deep inside

And you can try but you can't hide

Your real self, maybe only from yourself

But they all see,

You are despair and scarcity

And doomed to die a nobody

But just you wait, the love you seek

Will be revealed on the fourth street

You'll see him back away a bit

You'll see some hope and all his *******

And just before the river comes

He'll give it all his chips and curse

The blessings coming up,

Trying to make you give up

Do not turn back, you know your worth

You have been love ever since birth

Keep your conviction, show your cards

The river will make him run yards

And you will flow and see that your scars

Are actually part of the compass

Guiding you to the love inside

About one thing he was right

From yourself you cannot hide

And now you see quite easily

The love and freedom that you seek

Were all in you straight from the start

Congrats, that is actually the whole ***

You won't hear it outside heaven but

God is amazed, screams out your name

And just says "****, what a nice play".

_M.

I've been running consistently to getting somewhere
And in this moment right here my soul couldn't care
About all the dreams or the scars or wishes
I've been planning to go through, for my body leaves
The sense of reality under the gravity
Of my own pressures and judgements, projections
Of being imperfect, these self-rejections
Disguised as ambitions
Couldn't fool any soul that they are soul missions

I've been running and bleeding and I'm tired of feeling
That I am constantly in need of some divine healing
Healing is not becoming someone you're not
But accepting yourself as you are, the whole lot
The shadows, the wounds and the darkness of past
The ways that you cling still to what did not last
The ways that you think endlessly into void
And the way that you let your thoughts steal the joy

Of being right here, nothing else to avoid,
Just being yourself, it's not to control
The ways you exist or defining your role
Into this life in such perfect ammounts
That things old as faith and as grace simply counts
To nothing

Cause I'll tell you, you're something
That could never be perfect, for you can't be a concept
But when you look at the rain or the sea, anything
That nature has brought into this here existence
When has the mind ever had the persistance
Or the ***** to say something as perverted,
As : "that is not perfect, it's not in control,
Of it's own fate or soul, there is too much flow
It's allowing itself to go with, it must be tormented "

For existence was always meant to be accepted
As a jellyfish accepted the tide or a leaf in the wind accepting a ride
Life never happened by action, it just was allowed
To come into being by the one who is proud
To exist as he is, silent or loud
Or however it felt called up on the mount
Of his body or shape, incarnation or being
Regardless of pain, imperfection or grieving

Things such as healing or letting go of control
Were never intended to torment the soul
Into changing what happened or what it desires
What it feels that should be or the band and the choires
It hears, but instead, it was meant to accept
What exists as it is in the now, it's direct
And it's grounding and kind and just this moment
Can bring an end to the winter that stood
In your door and your house when you said that life should
Be different somehow in the way that it goes
But you cannot decide nor the waves nor the flows
Of the ocean, the wind or the boat you are rowing
But just the direction you decide it's worth going


So if you ever have wished for a different ending,
Know that it's here, and it starts with accepting
That life is not made for the ways of expecting
But for trust and for faith in this neverending
Journey of life and this always changing
Existence you are, it's about surrendering

To who you are and the present you're living
And about the love you're allowing and giving
Yourself when you start being here and receiving
All that's been waiting for you to start feeling
Worthy of living.

_M.

Coroanele tale astrale coboară
Și în dansul lor doboară
Barierele clădite
Din iubiri neîmplinite

Aripile tale sunt
Conturate blând de vânt
Și-aud *** aduc plăpând
Un glas grațios și sfânt

Al tău,
În viața mea.

_M.

Life is changing at an incredible speed
And I fear whether I have what I need
To change with it,

I feel overwhelmed and still try to keep faith
And I'm not yet certain if I am building a grave
Or a new home for myself

And I guess time will tell,
I'll try to say farewell
To the past as well.

_M.

Părul de foc
Părul de toamnă
Părul de sânge
Părul de magmă

- Părul de apus

Ochii din aburi
Ochii din fum
Ochi de pisică
Ochi de nebun

Buze din nori
Curburi din picturi
Dinți prea frumoși
Să-i ascunzi sau înjuri

Emoții prea multe
Sufletul mare
Mai degrabă adânc
Chiar de mai pare
Mic de statură.

Ambiții grozave
Cuvinte reale
Istorii amare
Și niște animale

Acasă.

Se pare ca știi totul
Și doar a predica
Nu văd ce rost are
Aici prezența mea
Când ce rezultă-n mine este numai sânge
Dat pe dinafară pentru a te unge
Pe răni tu, înțeleptule
Ai țipat destul să-mi tai urechile
Furia ți-a ajuns dincolo de cer
Și cântecul ți-e plin numai de "disper"
Si gol de "ajutor"

Însă nu e "gol"
De "spune-i tu pentru mine"
Ca și când ar fi ok să obții
Tot ceea ce vrei fără sa îți ții
Singur șaua vieții
Se simte incredibil și-mi pare impecabil
De bine plănuit, căci nu ești responsabil
Dacă nu merge bine, doar n-ai spus tu ceva
Erai prea ocupat cu a te alerga
Cu furia cu mânia și mândria ta

Toți sunteți furioși și intitulați
Să aveți dreptate, să nu vă schimbați
Toți sunteți titani și restul sunt cei proști
Se pare că sunteți destul de inimoși
Să vă iubiți pe voi suficient încât
Să vă protejați de orice v-ar provoca mai mult
Perspectiva asupra realității
Asupra iubirii sau a maternității

Iubirea mea nu pare
Să aibă loc aici
Și nu-s vreun salvator
Ca să vă scap de frici
Mai ales atunci când clar ca din topor
N-ați sugerat niciunul că vreți vreun ajutor

Suferiți că vă place și asta-i adevărul
Pe care-l văd eu, nu *** sa fiu eroul
Când refuzați puternic orice implicare
Care să vă fie puțin provocatoare.

Nu vă doriți salvare, ci numai validare.

Sclavi ai vieții voastre, ah cât e de trist
Dar păreți comfortabili în lacrimi și abis
Și când am încercat o mână sa vă-ntind
M-am topit și-am plâns, era mult prea acid

De libertatea-i munte, îmi sunteți plini de mare
Și-am să vă mulțumesc, căci nu e de mirare
Că busola mă îndrumă pe altă cărare
Și vântul dintre pânze îmi zice așa tare

"Ești doar eroul tău, și orice chemare
Ce vine dinspre ei, doar cere ca atare
O respingere simplă, fără vreo formă
De sentiment de ură sau țipete de normă "

Nu vreau sa vorbesc cu nimeni despre nimic
Și am s-o țin simplu, nu am s-o complic
Dacă îmi aduceți acest zgomot în casă
Sper să mâncați bine, dar nu la a mea masă,
Am sa vă anunț că nu e pentru mine,
Și am s-o zic repetat și dacă tot nu-i bine
Sau nu are valoare încă ce vă spun,
Sper să fiți iubiți, dar pe al meu drum
Nu vă mai *** permite vreun fel de access
În realitatea mea sau să îmi abuzez
Iubirea și răbdarea când văd așa de des
E loc doar de-un om, și drumu-i deja mers
De mine.

Așa că baftă voua,
Și cu bine mie.
Sau poate e pe dos,
Nu vreau sa stiu,
In fine.

_M.

Iubirea e pericol mare
Când crezi că e din depărtare.

E pericol şi mai mult
Când cauți printr-un alt pierdut.

E bomba cu ceas sau mină
Când îi spui de un’ să vină

Nu fugi, nu aștepta,
Nu-i da formă, n-o filtra,
Nu te grăbi sau speria
Creeaz-o și este a ta.

_M>

I’m done with shame
I'm done with pain
It messes with my purity
And with my Identity

I'm done with holding myself back
For projections of the past
Right now the present moment
Is the one I want to last.

Courage, freedom and excitement
Curiosity, amazement
They're all my gateway to this new life
Where I'm living and I fly
And the shapes up on my sky
Come and pass, rise and subside
Kindly, unafraid to hide
For acceptance awaits
Those who know that all the greats
Lived with emotions running high
In front of their pen and their eye
Now, why would I
Not let the wind
Blow through my soul just a bit
Or as long as it’s needed
For the peace
I seek.

_M.

Am mers seara la lac să mă prefac scriitor
Să găsesc cuvinte ca să cer ajutor
Cu șarm și sub o formă
Nu basic sau de normă
Nu! Căutam o scânteie
Sau o intenție, idee
O mică odisee
Care să-mi reflecte
Rănile spre mine
Ceva mai blând
Fără furie
Sau să învăț să fiu plăpând
Și să îmi fac viața vie.

Nimic prea wow, n-am văzut mult
Am stat pe iarbă printre plante
Maxim o lebădă sau poate
Un porumbel zburând pe cer
Nu m-am prins în timp util
Că ziua trecuse subtil
Ceasul a zis cu convingere
Că era ora de stingere

N-am găsit ce căutăm
Prin ai creierului geam,
Dar am simțit destulă pace
Știind ca totul se întoarce
A doua zi,
Și că totul va muri,
Și apoi va reveni,
E la fel ca empatia
Omul ce-și uita condiția
Și își pierde reflexia
Înjură ploaia, însă tot ea
E cea ce-i spală oglinda
Cel ce nu se-ndepărtează
De propriul suflet nu navighează
Viața cu adevărat
Cel ce a asigurat
Mereu că știe ce-l așteaptă
E după gratii, după lacăt
Spiritual, emoțional, mental și vibrational
Uimirea nu va fi găsită
În cunoscut, ea e sădită
De fraierul ce se aruncă
În ocean, ce se îneacă
În confuzie și pleacă
Din portul construit mental
Comoara este în ocean,
Deci fii curios! Sari orbește!
Dacă n-ai pânze, vâslește.

_M.

**** you, your red hair burned my mask
And I'm here as I just bask
At the way I am exactly
The never ending same old me

Overthinking every message
Dissociating every passage
Of time, losing slowly this here mine
Mind and clarity and reason
Autumn is your favourite season
Funny, it started with a rainstorm
Getting my boat off track the shore
I was moving to, **** you
And your fire eyes
They are brown most of the time
But become forests when they cry
Which is often but not too much
The eyelashes are a premium touch
That you cannot afford to lose.

I'm hearing warcries up in here
I'm angry and I can't see clear
Ahead, I think and worry and obsess
Of when you'll answers, make a mess
Of this sense of self I built,
Why don't I just
Allow disgust
Of this old self
Become forgiveness and let it tell
A new story?

One where independency
Freedom and creativity
Some good ol individuality
Let themselves be as they are
And I dont force them to make a scar
On my self, shoulders and back
And get myself tattered and cracked
Over nothing,
Where poetry becomes morphine
What do you mean what do I mean?
It's used potently for numbing.
One where I am and I don't judge
And have some faith and have some trust
And have attraction and have lust
And have virtues and have values
And I talk openly about it
And I don't feel inadequate
Or making myself celibate
Or don't let myself create
Or forget to ask for help
Or I choose to have a friend
Not a promise with no end
Or a game of play-pretend
With myself or with the shelf
Of books I have already read
On how I can just be myself.
In this moment I make them malice,
I have the knowledge but need practice,
Get into my life some mileage
When it comes to discovering
This weird perverse confusing thing
Some others seem to call living.

I don't really know what's next
But I am anchored in myself.
And live life as I can tell
Best for myself.
_M.

If I were eyes, you would be sunset
If I were ears, you'd be a sonnet
If I were nose, you'd be perfume
If I were sky, you'd be the moon

If I were salt, you would be tears
I was the sea, you'd be the waves
If I was grass, you'd be the sun
If life's a party, you're the fun
In it.

If I was run, you'd be slow down
If I'm a circus, you're the clown
If I was rain, you would be thunder
If I was travel, you'd be wonder.

If I were Mountains, you'd be wind
If I were color, you'd be tint
If I were death, you'd be my schythe
If I were Dante, you'd be strife

If I was flower, you'd be ground
If I was thinking, you'd be out loud
If I were one, you would be two
If I were me, you would be you.

Breathe...and see the sunset...
Drink some water...and listen to a sonnet,
Dance, write a poem, if you need to, cry
Get a good night's rest, draw the starry sky
Go out, see some friends, and play the guitar,
Feel angry if need be, it will take you far,
Step away from the phone
And spend some time alone
Have a good old shower, a good meal and then
Above everything else, let yourself ask for help,
It is not cowardice to let yourself seen weak,
It only shows the courage to change the life you seek.

Actually,
You're it.

_M.

Zboară odată! femeie pumnal
Cu părul roșcat precum un stejar
In toamnă, o doamnă
Cu zâmbet pur și elegantă
Ce abia pornește-n lume
Și își strigă propriul nume
Acum într-un necunoscut
Nou și nemaivăzut
Cu vise-n zi și vise-n noapte
Cu poezii de "ce-ar fi poate"
Cu familii încurcate
Și pânzele sus ridicate
Pe un ocean de emoții
De gânduri și de retrospecții
Busola nu merge, ce direcții
Să aleagă pe al vieții
Drum de nu ce simte că o cheamă
Să fie propria persoană

Zboară odată!, femeie pumnal
Nici nu mai știu *** să respir macar
Dar apoi să m-odihnesc,
Relaxez, gândesc, trăiesc
Și nu mi se pare drept
Cât de mult te plimbi prin piept
Pe la mine si prin cap
Prin ochi, urechi și Instagram
Vreau niște spațiu să fiu calm
Și niște timp să-nvăț sa am
Frâiele propriei vieți
*** să-nvăț asta când m-aștepti
În fiecare colț all minții
Grădinii și zâmbești cu dinții
Și nu știu să-mi refuz dorința
Instinctu-mi cucerește ființa
Și eu plec din acest corp
Și mă tem c-o s-ajung mort

Mă tem c-o sa te folosesc
Că o să mă abandonez
Pe mine și tot ce creez
E un specific tip de chin
E neîncredere-n destin
Și dorința de control
Cu un strigăt de ajutor
Mut.

Am vrut mult
Să mă las purtat de vânt
E enervant să văd cât sunt
Cu mine însămi eu de crunt
Și să revăd *** ajung
Să îmi tai propriul avânt
Să văd *** iar nu știu sa simt
*** amorțesc și mă agit
*** cred că rămân fără timp
Și tot ce ajung să am pe chip
Sunt dorință și confuzie
Ce fel de iluzie
Îmi mai vând de data asta?
Oricum tu vezi după masca
De care eu sunt convins că este realitate
Nu văd alt drum spre libertate
Decât încredere ca poate
Necunoscutul ce-l trăiesc
E un mister prin care o sa găsesc
Ceva mai multe despre mine,
Deci hai că sar, o să fiu bine
Probabil.
_M.

Vă zâmbesc
Fiindcă-mi doresc?

Sau vă zâmbesc

Fiindca trăiesc
Frica mea asta de om

A ideii de abandon?

Oare cine-aş putea fi
Daca nu aș mai vorbi
De dragul dragului de-a fi

Înconjurat de oameni vii?

Costul ascuns nu doar doboară
Respectul meu da-mi şi omoară
Imaginea de cine sunt.

Dacă aş glumi doar cand
Nu o fac de la vreun gând
De a ține lumea aproape
Câte maini ar zice "poate
Mi-e mai bine fără tine?"

Măcar aș mai dori vreun om
Să-mi fie-n preajmă când nu dorm?

Cine sunt eu pe Pământ

Când nu mai sunt alți ochi în jur?

Încerc să aflu vreau să cred.

Nu mai ştiu de ce zâmbesc
Şi este confuz să trăiesc
În felul acesta până când
Înțeleg iar cine sunt
Eu cel cu mine.

_M.

*** is nice I guess and all
But show me more about your soul
How do you think, what makes you laugh
In winter how you tie your scarf

Show me what you look like dreaming
When you're crying, when you're being
Angry with yourself for actions
Taken from impulsive passions

Show me what you do believe in
Tell me how you go through grieving
Tell me the things that make you rage
Or what you see when a new page
Is turned on the book you're reading

*** jokes are good fun and all
And lust is something that we share
But I would love to also stroll
Through the park and see the wave
That baby ducks make on the lake
As they swim towards the call
Of their mother

There's something that I'm looking for
In your mind so show me more
Than a **** joke, ***** or ***
Attraction is much more complex
Than that, and my love is way too hot
A commodity to share like that
With everybody,
I wish that I could sometimes
But I loved truly in the rhymes
Of what now I call the past,
And my heart learned if it's to last
Something then it should be real
Otherwise it will dissapear
With my hairline and your curves
And with time we'll find it hurts
For the wrong reasons completely
I hold a bigger hope for me,
So come, be free, and let us be,
Whatever happens, we will see.
But what matters some more to me
It's real authenticity, that creates intimacy,

If nature wishes, it will be.
_M.

And tell me what should love look like
If not like foxes in the grass
Playing freely as they pass
The time

Like the ocean making waves
As if the breeze is holding hands
With it

Like a bird learning to fly
As it jumps down blindly by
It's own choice towards the sky

Like a farmer working fields
Because that's what brings him peace

Like a kid watching the snow
From the window in his home

Like a dreamer in the clouds
On a sofa made of thoughts
Just resting comfortably
As he learns to simply be

Like a painter as he sees
A sight gifted by the seas
To him to rescue from time's passing
Making his story everlasting

Like a baby duck returning
To his mother's worried calling

Like a lover saying that
She needs someone to have her back
And that she won't settle for less
For she needs safety in distress

Like an author writing poems
To send a sorry to past lovers
Poems they may never read
But they still hope those words will meet
The eyes of those who are in need

Tell me what love looks like please
If not like freedom, peace and dreams
And like learning to let go
Of what is not in your control...

Life is moving too fast
And I wish to rest
To connect with myself
And to give it my best
And I wish to cry
And feel that for now
I’m screaming inside
For I forgot how
I wish to escape
To a fairy tale lake
To rest for a week
And to let myself take
Life as it comes, I wish to allow
Myself to feel feels I forgot somehow
It’s up to myself to save myself
And if anything else that is both intense
And exciting and right now
It’s tiring,
I’m so done I need time to be an aquarium
Surrender is something I forgot how to live
And grace is something I forgot how to give
Myself, there is nothing to say
I want to cry



Help

_M.