Heaven and Hell don't really exist.

Heaven and Hell are Both states of Mind.

Humanity created this believe that when "you" die, you either go to heaven or you go to hell;
But this believe is simply a creation of the religious intent to control people while they are alive.

They say that if you don't do this and that, if you don't behave in this way or that, then the punishment will be hell.
But that if you bahave this way and that, then you will be rewarded with heaven.

Both heaven and hell have kept humanity in a kind of prison,
because they have created  fear  in you while you are alive.

There is the fear of going to hell and the fear of not going to heaven.

Only the person who does not Believe is free of fear.

To this person, heaven and hell have no power over;
Because he knows his Self and therefor knows that Mind is simply a very complicated tool that helps the Self function in the world of form.

Which is why:
Heaven and hell can only disturb the one who has not gone beyond Mind.
Heaven and hell can only disturb the one who is still IN the Mind.

And of course:
The ones who are still in the Mind can not make sense of what it means to NOT be in the Mind.
Because everything that they see, including this statement, is seen from the point of view of the Mind -
and from the point of view of the Mind one can not see the Mind because it IS the Mind that is looking.

So:
In order to see the Mind, one has to look from the point of view of Pure Conscious Awareness ( Real Self ),
which in other words is the point of view of God.

Heaven and hell have been a device that a part of humanity have used in order to control another part of humanity.

Both the governments and the religions have been teaming up on this intention of controlling others.


When a person dies, if he or she has not lived a conscious life and therefor has not attained the Goal of Life, he or she will simply be born to live another life.

Death does not bring heaven nor hell.

In fact:
Heaven and hell are and can only be while alive.
They are ideas and therefor can only be thought about..

We have said:
For one to go to hell, one has to sin.
And for one to go to heaven, one has to not sin.

If while alive a person has sinned, these being severe sins, like for example those of ******, that person will not go to hell because there is no hell in Truth. In Truth, that person will simply be born again either in an animals body or in a humans body with some kind of misfurtune, such as disabilities and abnormal conditions.
For example, if you have really committed a crime that goes against nature in one life-time, then the consequences of the next life-time can and will be one of many. A person can be born blind, deaf, mute, ect. A person can be born without a body part or with a physical or mental illness/disease.

If a person has not committed any horrible crimes during life-time that go against nature and has been a good person, he will not go to heaven either because there is no heaven in Truth. In Truth, you can be good or bad, but if you have not attained the Goal of Life, which is to become conscious of your Real Self, of who you Truly are, whether you have been good or bad does not make much difference - you will again be born into another body and according to the karma that you carry, which builds from the actions of the present life, will be chosen the circumstances of your next life.

But you will not go to any heaven or any hell because these both are simply creations of the fantasies and imagination of the Human Mind.

Now, heaven and hell still have power over some people because these are the people who are still not aware of their Real Self.

In other words:
Not every-body has gone beyond the Mind, trascended the Mind, into the Ultimate Realization of the Self.

So simply for the joy of expressing myself i say that Both Heaven and Hell are not real but just states of Mind.
Just ideas - believes - thoughts.

The Real Goal of Life is not to go to heaven and not go to hell, the Real Goal of Life is to attain Self-Realization.
Which in other words is to discover, or better said, to re-discover,  your True Self.
To know the Truth of your Self.

To those who do not know,
heaven then is just a hope that keeps one feeling safe in ones own ignorance of death and Truth.


To be born in this world right now one has no other choice but to recieve all the information that has been created by humanity.

And because there is so much information, there will come a point in every-ones life in which he or she will forget what is true and what is not true.

If that person does not have the courage to go in search of Truth, then he or she will simply believe and hope that there is a heaven and therefor there is safety guranteed after death.

This desire to be safe after death exists because of the ignorance of ones own life.

Because one does not know their Real Self, one does not know what is to happen when the body can no longer sustain life.

And the only reason why all false ideas have prevailed is because you have not prevailed in discovering your own Truth.

You have been possessed by the ideas that have been imposed on the Mind, and you have not been able to re-gain control.

You have believed in what ever believes and ideas you have heard and you have lost connection with Truth.

In order to re-gain connection with Truth, you have to go beyond all believes, beyond heaven and hell.

And in order to go beyond all believes, you have to silence the Mind;
Because as long as the Mind is compulsively bringing believes and ideas to your Self, you will remain un-connected with Truth.

As long as there exists ANY question within you, you have not known Truth.

The Goal of Life is to get rid of all questions;
And remember that all questions are of the Mind.

Only the Mind can question and only the Self can have the True answer.

Remember:
The Real answer to all questions is NOT of the Mind but of the Self.

All answers of the Mind are false and these will only bring more questions.

Remember:
Your True Self is not the Mind;
The Mind is only a part of your Self.

The Mind, when in search of Truth, will ask all the questions that it can ask and the final question will be:

Who Am I?

"Who Am I?" is the question that begins the journey towards your True Self.

First Mind will ask:
"What is all of this outside of me?"

Then,
When Mind has questioned everything outside of you,
the deepest question will finally come:

Who Am I?

And remember:
Only when Mind has questioned all that it can question will it question Itself,
and here you begin to move closer to your Self.

Enlightenment, Nirvana, is when Mind has asked the final question, Who Am I?
and You have answered:

I Am God.

And when you have answered the final answer, I Am God, it will not be Mind answering.

In fact:
This answer will not really be answered;
It will be known.


"Who Am I?" will be the last question because you will now be looking at the Mind from and AS the Self, instead of looking from the Mind, believing Mind to be the Self.

Here you will come to know that you are That which is watching the question happen in the Mind,
and in this moment you will know that you ARE the answer, simply because you are the Silence that answers the question, not with words, but with Knowing.

Remember this:
If the answer is to be the Real answer, the answer will not consist of any words or symbols;
If the answer is to be the Real answer, the answer will be your own Self-Realization.

And so:
The question "Who Am I?" can only be answered by You because it will take you directly to Your Self.

The question will take you from Mind - to - Pure Consciousness, Pure Awareness, Pure Silence, God.


This process of Self-Realization goes through the huge maze that the Mind is, to explore and question the whole universe, to finally get out of the maze, knowing everything that can and has to be known.

The Mind has labeled the whole universe and though the Self/God can be labeled and talked about, It can not fully/totally be expressed with words;
It can only be fully/totally known by Being It.


The question "Who Am I?" will be the final question.

Real Peace and Bliss are attained when the answer to this question is known by You and when there is no other question left in You.

Every creature is beautiful in its own way.
Like a beautiful rose or a daisy.
Both are beautiful, but in different way.
Therefor its just nonsense if we have one type who is marked as beautiful
You are beautiful in your own way.

I'm trapped
In a love that is so wonderful and perfect
its not real nor does it exist.
i'm trapped inside my mind and heart and soul
for they hold the Beatles and all of my favorite songs.
I'm trapped
inside on a rainy day
because you know the sound of the water hitting the ground
is one of the most beautiful melodies to my ears, its true.
i'm trapped because i want to be
because the moaning coming from your room tells me to be, i think.
i think, therefor i am, therefore i feel, therefor i writhe in pain,
like the little girl saying Daddy please don't go, don't leave me, please no.
I'm trapped because i think if i stay the exact same you'll wake up and realize that you want me,
the way i was back when you needed me,
back when you loved me,
back before she was around.
like i said, i'm trapped
trapped inside this mind that only deals in make believe and fantasies,
Cinderella stories and snow white because you know they all got their prince.
trapped inside my carriage on the way to the ball because my fairy god mother forgot to give me a handle, on life.
an escape route, a way out, a pause button,
so that when life just gets too hard to handle, i can breathe.
theres a sign on my wall that says one way, one way in, one way out
one way to misery and boy do i know that path like the back of my hand
it leads straight to your front door,
which consequently happens to be home.
i'm trapped inside my room thats right next to yours for we share
a hallway and a bathroom, and a kitchen and a living room,
physically, of course not emotionally.
trapped inside a relationship but i cant tell him the truth
for that would compromise my ability to be honest
and full disclosure is a must.
trapped inside my imagination that plays movies in my head
like all the remakes of Shakespeare's greatest,
only you **** me in the end.
trapped inside this body that is nothing more than a product of my feelings,
i used to be thin, i swear.
trapped at the bottom of this bottle for that is what i turn to every weekend
when you sneak off with her.
i'm trapped in a corner with my head between my knees
thinking, what else could i possibly do.
i'm trapped inside this hospital, the doctor diagnosed me with an incurable disease,
they call it love.
trapped inside these restraints, my hands and feet, and tongue, for i cannot tell you the truth.
now you're trapped inside the waiting room
with mourning loved ones and horrible coffee
awaiting the fate of a truly terrible friend.
i'm trapped inside the thought that you think i was only there because i was in love with you,
well....
its not true, you were my best friend and i was yours and ****** we were good together.
i'm trapped because i know i will never survive
but you, you were always so much stronger than me
i know you'll be fine,
so you can call it, time of death: 1:29.

Some introductory food for thought...

"Threats to freedom of speech, writing and action, though often trivial in isolation, are cumulative in their effect and, unless checked, lead to a general disrespect for the rights of the citizen"
  - George Orwell

"There is only three states of being. There is slavery, tyranny, those are both forms of conflict, or negotiation. Negotiation depends on freedom of speech and you have to be able to talk to people if you are not going to fight with them or capitulate to them."
  - Jordan Peterson

"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear.”
  - George Orwell


The key proponents of the Bill and it's context...
On the 18th October 2016, Bill C-16 received Royal assent in Canada, despite having a small, but thorough opposition, even from those within the LGBT community who felt that the proponents of the Bill did not represent their desires, but that of the most extreme and ideological spectrum of their community. A prominent figure in the opposition to the Bill was Jordan Peterson, a Professor of Psychology at the University of Toronto, who has dedicated a great length of time in study into the **** and Soviet regimes of the past, paying particular attention to the ideological and psychological elements of those periods, which has built his principles as strongly opposed to ideological thought, Postmodernism and Marxism, all of which were instrumental or played roles in the mass genocidal regimes of the early 20th century that began with the subjugation of ideas and speech.

The Bill's implementation is an amendment to the Ontario Human Rights Code that makes the refusal by an individual to refer to someone by their preferred gender pronouns a hate crime. It also brands discrimination by 'gender expression' with the same impunity. To those who do not understand what these concepts mean, essentially what the gender pronoun debate is, is how a minority of the LGBT community demand they be refereed to by different pronouns, and have their gender expression (fashion choice) protected by law. For instance, those who claim not to fit into the binary gender pronouns (he/she) and therefor don't identify as either a man or a woman, wish to be refereed to with artificial neologisms such as ve, they and them.

These demands, however, are not being made by the majority of LGBT people, but a small minority of people, mostly younger students who've been indoctrinated into postmodern and social Marxist ideology. This means that the Canadian government is taking the most extreme representation of a group as the representatives of the entire group, which would be like taking the **** Party as a valid representation of Germans, or the British Olympic squad as representatives of the standard fitness of the entire British public. This is a key focus of opponents to the Bill, like Prof. Peterson who recognises (being an employee of a University himself) that Bills like these are the result of borderline indoctrination in the Universities, and not the demands of LGBT people in general.  


The innate authoritarianism of the bill and it's Marxist/Postmodern motives...
Why are the proponents of this Bill innately authoritarian in nature? Well, as Professor Jordan Peterson makes the clear distinction, that unlike other forms of what is deemed hate speech in law, that enforces what you CAN NOT say, this Bill enforces WHAT YOU MUST SAY. As an example, Holocaust denial is considered hate speech, and so you can not express such a position, however, here you are now forced to speak words that you might not want to say, something far more Orwellian that one might be able to conceive when concerning a seemingly trivial enforcement, and having often spoken of gradualism, this is certainly not the end of the issue.

What is also concerning is that the supporters of the Bill are evidently ideologically motivated, in terms that their ideology (Marxist/Postmodern) is in itself authoritarian in nature, and as they fail to gain support by ideas, they suppress them. Law like this should not be able to slide through the apparatus of the State this easily, for it conveys on many levels a lack of respect for the generations of people who suffered under despotic rule for centuries until finally the rule of law gave them rights (and now we throw them away). It also shows to those more nefarious groups, that the public will not blink, even when you chip away at their right to speak as they choose, which I don't believe is a habit that should be maintained.


- a short essay by FabiusSideman

I have a camera.
Therefor, I am a photographer.
I take pictures of whatever I see
And upload them onto my facebook.

Look, I put this one in black and white.
Aren't I artsy?
My mom says I should open my own website.
I took a close-up of this flower.

I have a pen.
Therefor, I am a writer.
I write about the first thing that pops into my head.
And make sure I don't think about it.

I just wrote a poem about my ex.
We dated for over three weeks.
She broke my heart so badly.
I think I'll write a book.

I have a brush.
Therefor, I am an artist.
I slam my brush onto the canvas.
My art is very abstract...

I'm not sure what these paints are.
What in the hell is a "pastel?"
I get my paint from Wal-Mart.
I think I'll put this on eBay.

“Decolonize your mind before you become a new black slave.” He whispered to me before pushing one of his dreads behind his ear and grinning wildly at my perplexed expression. I lowered the straightener and stared at him for a while – I had loved him because of the way he was self-assured, it never faltered and I knew an explanation would follow as I leaned forward, raising an eyebrow, questioning him.
“You know you’re a queen right?” He continued, interrupting my train of thought, while turning off the straightener at the plug point.
“Ja, I know.” I answered blatantly.  
“ Then decolonize your mind.” He shouted before thrusting his hands into the sky and exiting my room. I think he knew I would figure it out for myself because as I stared at the straightener on my desk- it clicked. The statement vibrated in the very depths of my soul and an untapped reserve of energy was suddenly channelled into my aura. I could feel my ancestors, I could hear their cries, I could feel the weight of shackles, I could feel a whip, I could feel resentment, I could feel hatred, I could feel the power of a God who didn’t look like me, I could feel my peoples names that were written out of history books, I could taste blood in my mouth, I could feel blood on the cotton, I could feel what it meant to be black.
It was an epiphany, induced both by drink as well as the stench of my burnt hair. The epiphany spoke to me, reminding me that who I am was holy. That black was undeniably beautiful and not in the clichéd way that I learnt of in history when people averted their eyes, avoiding discomfort presented in an unacknowledged truth. It was in earnest, that I realised that my melanin was paramount to a glorious dynasty that I was privileged enough to be a part of. I would wear my ancestry daily and no longer shy away from the truth of my being. I am sun kissed, I am regal, I am Cleopatra, I am King Shaka, I am the soil and the trees and everything that matters in this universe, I am a closed fist lifted in a rally where mercy has intersected rage, resulting in non-violence.
The only violence that is accepted is that which vehemently opposes the status quo that my people are not good enough. That is what was meant when he told me to decolonize my mind.
“ You will be villianized in your pursuit for emancipation because the margin of melanin present in our people will always render you a slave so choose now what you will subscribe to. “ and I made a decision, standing upon the raw backs of my ancestors- I chose a discarded truth and the truth is this-  I am art. We, are art and art cannot be subjugated or castrated by a close minded agenda, set by people who have never bothered to understand you nor will they ever begin to.
I am  a poem that breathes and speaks and therefor has no choice but to be remembered. I will be etched into the minds of people who would rather forget me. I will be written down in history books next to men who would rather deny my existence.
In that moment, in my epiphany, I began to wade barefoot through my soul. I began to find pieces of myself I didn’t know where lost – and is that not courage in itself? Finding the corpse of your soul, buried beneath a cruel, mercilessly pale agenda?
          
Is speaking the truth not brave?
So I set down the straightener, and began to live.

To each a body temple,
crated temple earth!

Two homes therefor each..
One head lay with one heart...

And offer one another the bed
of forgiveness each day,
magnificently,

Bold

Ebb beat,
Beat breathe,
Flow beat

Beat
   r
     e
       a
         t
           h
             e
                :
Birthing as we see
Indeed, we be    

Understand

Within

Bless

Love be
love See

Out
ward's

Utter
Ing's
Rx's

Truly
Free

'That
is all'

Lord's
o
r
d
e
s
s
'
s

I do love
But it ain't quite
like the Discovery Channel!!!

I want so much more than
the collective desire of Park Avenues

I believe like,

With exactly no doubt
like zero are the hours
which can never count
upon the seamlessness
of my perceptions

I do but I don't
I am and therefor not

I talk in mirrored tongues
I observe in uncanny detail

Micro and macro all a flow
overly ever rushing torrents
moving galaxies about

Pouring in
more rushes out

You can picture it
over the mighty edges of
and rushing to, fro and about
every swirling an obstacle stout

Though such knows not
one another in such ways
inseparable upon one journey

As She manifests from her he, Self
He's giving for he gets the She of,

An ever persuasive passionate,

Play... .. .

Greater than the dreams

We know of love yet
Shy to conceive

They, their passion
.........
  .....
   ...
    "
    '
We inwardly receive

Those torrential lovers
pourings do spillover
and on and over
and rush upwards
ah ever more easily!!!

Vast sensualities
******* rhythms
of this a, Our universe
in micro exotic intoxicating
allure, irresistibly entwining
the smallest tastes and teases
of songbirds loving symphonies

As butterfly and a bee in the ever
sweet scents of psychedelic sighting
wavings in ever inviting ever ripening
ever flows of heavens manna sweets, but
sours the way short where some say sinners
ought never see or be, though such is silliness see,

For such shy glimpses of what is less than momentary
which is not countable, when our greatnesses will carry on
beyond our redemptions of what only we shall see clearly so
simply, one day twas the dark night of a soul, here blasphemed
about the sacredness of all ever evident being so close found fondly,

Sweetly, though lost in those ever aching wishes of our journeying together

Would death be ****** abandonment at all a freaky thing unconceived
dark night of the great light conceived viewed in our ever grace and beauty
but she lets you feel her he's and all the glory, all the glory an unrealized being
in all our collectiveness has not yet seen but in the depths of where it's consider dark
for simple decisions we all have and must have made to function here, there

and at all,
at once...

No time, no space, no EMC squared's
yet in Newtonian fashion the soul spirit remains
carries on in infinite motion and motions of our choosings
and for better and worse we do all about the same for we
were never thrilled about all the separation we discovered
in reluctance and or in blessed joys of great companies
of loving hearts, eyes, ears, arms with tender loving
caring hands of nurture enough twas enough for
you are still here now and those who have not
have forgiven all other misguidance eagerly
when it is easily found tis only our own
choice to be and set free freely

And I can want any petty desire too
and put myself up for adoption to,

The petting zoo
and you...

For hell yeah I want to be here
all the way and with you
my wayfarers

I Do...

do do dee da da
oo la la and ma mama

childs all of such grace
we oft just call gods

And greater love seen
dispensed philosophically
by self proclaimed atheism's

Denialism can rather be the truth
of atheism, self pitying so deeply
resenting the here now for some
overly wishful thinkings and
of mournful emotionalism's
about the 'it just ain't fairs'

Beware they will take you
to their wheres, wearing
their wares of self hate
while glossfully
painting in
glitterings
of fools
gold

Feign not thou
we are co conspirators
already decidedly agreed
agreeably dancing on the sharp
end of one pointed pin, hand holding

But remember if we were ever shaken
off of binding bonds ever closefully as
the chasms of divergences really are

We still ever dance ever lightly on
the everly fine poignancy of pin

And the illusion of being
garden casted for some
shamefully blameful
denials of the snakes
sly fashion to even
ones need of feed

And or wither from
the long and short
of journey with
the ever's of

here now...

Paradise
Perfectly

Paradoxically

In our
every
way

So I am
in great hunger
greater thirst firstly

For the one great illusion
desert stricken for not seeing
the forest of paradise for every
tree and every grace of all possibility

Without such would come from impossibility*

Once Again...

But this is me, and I'm sat thinking on my balcony of how when I make a typo and it replaces it with a different word, that maybe that word is meant to be replaced and I'm meant to live my life the complete opposite way, like it needs to be replaced with the opposite.
I'm sat with trees facing this wooden chair, each branch swaying at a different time in the delicate winds of Turkey, Kemer, and how each branch sways for a reason, not because of the wind -
Maybe the wind is a voice, and it orders each branch to sway at a certain time, whispering in their ear and ordering them to do so.
It's strange isn't it? The way the mind works, the way that mine does at least.
I believe that nothing of nature happens because of nature, just the the swaying of a tree branch doesn't sway because of the wind.
I believe in spirits and what not, I believe that they are in everyone, everything.
I believe that we are a Sim of a spirit that some may call God, a product of him and his doings or "creations".
I believe that some how, a spirit is in each individual living thing, whether it be a human, animal or plant.
I believe that when something moves, it is a sign, when a stranger smiles, it is a sign, when the wind turns the page of a book it is is sign - it is a sign the the spirit of the wind is telling us that we need to turn to the next page in our lives, to live and breathe the next chapter, to appreciate and love what we are next to discover.
Call me crazy, but I believe that right now I am narrating my life, my mind, leaving out no detail to add to the over working imagination, the fast pacing thoughts that strike the mind and the feelings that touch the soul.
I believe that the life I am living has already been out lived and has expired, leaving me to only think that I have lived and loved and experienced such a life that I have already once lived.
Afterlife? I think not.
I believe that the after life is only true in a sense that we get multiple chances to narrate our lives, just like Chinese whispers, each time it changes slightly, therefor giving the illusion of a new life and explaining all happenings of de ja vu.
We are made up of atoms, many many items which makes us, us. But we all share from the same atom pool, therefor we are all a part of eachother, and when one says that they don't understand another... They do, but they are not using the power inside that they have to dig deeper and realise.
We all share from the same atom pool, therefor we all have a part of people like Anne Frank and Martin Luther King inside us.
What we all have in common?
A hope for freedom
A right to fight for it.
That's what we need, just freedom, some living, breathing spirit to allow us live our lives the way we wish.
But we are held, we are held by society and their opinions.
There's a man with black skin and his hood up, is he a ****?
Maybe.
But that's the problem, just because someone may or not fit a certain stereotype, doesn't mean we have the right to force it upon them.
If we have the freedom to belittle and stereotype, then they have the freedom to do as they please and prove us right or wrong within our accusations.
Call me crazy, but I believe in life itself, and there is more to a tree branch swaying in the wind.

Silence is what truly says it all.
Silence is the answer to all questions.
Silence is the language of God,
total silence.

In total silence, God is heard and felt;
flowing in you, around you.

Or we can say Life,
another word for God.

For some people,
total silence is impossible.

Right when silence and peace are entering the being,
a thought will arise in the mind and distract.

For many humans today,
the mind is compulsively bringing thoughts;
therefor,
there is no silence and no communication with God.

Maybe i wont become some professional,
maybe i wont become a psychologist or a doctor,
but the love,
the peace,
and the healing that i want to give to the world can still be given wether i go to college or not.


My whole family has their eyes on me,
asking themselves and asking me:
what are you doing?
are you wasting your life?
what are you doing?
they ask me;
because they all expect something from me.

They all expect me to hop on that train,
where you compete,
qualify,
and work hard to become somebody.

"You have to succeed. You have to become somebody in life!"
is what they tell me..

What can i do about it?
I let them talk.
I listen.
And i know that i am all-ready all that i can be.

We are all all-ready all that we can be.
There is no need to struggle to be-come somebody..
We are all Kings and Queens.
We only need to truly realize it.

We are all Kings and Queens because as human beings,
we are able,
capable,
of total freedom.

When we listen to our hearts,
we know what we have to do.

In our hearts we can find the answers to our deepest questions.

We have to come to know who we really are to know what we truly have to do.

And knowing who we are not,
will reveal what we don't have to do.

Because threw years of conditioning on the human mind,
too many have come to believe that we are what we are NOT.

So to know who we really are,
it truly helps to realize who we are not.

And from my own experience,
the only way to do that is to go deep inside one's-self and begin to analyze all of one's believes.

It helps to remember:
that what we believe today,
we do not believe because we ourselves choose these believes.
We did not discover them.

What we believe today,
we believe because it was said by our parents,
that this is true and that this is what we should believe.

And those same believes were told and imposed on our parents also.

And those same believes were given to our parent's parents,
and so on..

So it is important to clearly see that we did not choose to believe what we believe today.
That these believes have been traveling from generation-to-generation.

And i talk about all believes..
From what is wrong to what is right,
to what is pretty and what is ugly,
to what should be and what should not be.

As i see it:
It is necessary that we all come out in-to the world alone,
and see if all of these believes match with the feelings of the heart.

And the way to see,
is to go deeply within,
and be completely honest with what we find.

We will have to doubt all believes,
and begin to discover,
what is real-ly true,
and what is really false.

And we are all capable of fully knowing,
without a doubt,
what is true and what is false.

In my observation of nature:

A tree does not got to any school to learn how to be a tree.

And the ants do not go to any school to learn how to be an ant,
and the ants who go in search of food do not train for this specialty,
and the ants who guard their homes,
do not go to any school to learn about guarding and security.

And the birds do not go to any school to learn how to fly,
or the fishes to learn how to swim.

It is all all-ready in them.

And the same is for humans.

Humans do not go to any school to learn how to be a human,
to learn how to be a King and a Queen and an Emperor.

But as far as history and present day are concerned,
humans go to school,
and have been going to school,
to learn how to be NOT a human,
but a robot,
and a copy,
and a follower.

We are all Kings and Queens,
protectors of Earth,
divine beings,
creators of beauty and love.

According to nature,
It is not necessary for a human being to attend any school in order to learn and come to know the secrets of life and the great mysteries of the universe.

Every human being is born with that enlightened seed,
capable of blooming into a Buddha.

It is only when we decide to follow and do what others say,
that we become afraid and forget all about that seed,
therefor not allowing it to grow.

Because we believe many lies,
fear enters the mind.

We begin to fear too many things,
specially "death".

We simply start to go with societies flow,
the flow of the law,
and we don't go with the flow of life,
the flow of nature,
the flow of love.

So what i am trying to do in writing these words,
is encouraging people to believe only in themselves.

I want to encourage people to start meditating.

Start becoming aware of everything.

And stop living your life automatically.

Become aware of every-thing,
all of your movements,
all of your actions,
all of your thoughts,
all of your habits,
your routines,
your unbalances,
addictions.

A topic on Meditation or on Truth is a very delicate topic.

Because both Meditation and Truth are experiences that will not be totally understood unless one has experienced them too.

It is almost like a drug inside of you that can be activated in any moment,
that can be tried any time.

Like any other drug,
**** for example,
once you try it and experience the high,
the effects that it gives,
you can then talk about the experience of being high.

But if you talk about it to a person that has never been high,
that person will not total-ly understand what you are talking about.

That person would have to smoke **** to understand you.

And it is the same with Truth and Meditation.

Truth can be the name of the drug that is inside of you.

Just that it is not like any other drug,
because it will not harm you in any way,
it will actually heal you.


It will heal your mind your body and your soul.

Your whole being will be healed.

And you will become fearless.

You will not fear anything in life because you will not fear death anymore.

You will understand that there is no death for the true Self.

That the only thing that dies aside from body and mind,
is the whole illusion of who you think you are,
your whole story,
your ego.

That will disappear.

So these words are simply to help people to activate that drug that is inside of them,
that seed,
that is within us,
so that we can become fear-less,
un-afraid.

And so that we can discover that which we are in search of.

Because as i see it,
we are all searching for that something.

And in my believe,
until we find this truth,
there is always going to be a feeling that something is missing in our lives.

And it make take some time to know what that something is.

It may even take many lives,
many life-times.

And one will go on learning from mistakes,
and realizing that,
"Ok, it was not this that was missing,
it was not a partner that was missing,
it was not a vacation,
it was not some car,
it was not money,
etc..."

One will go on searching and searching,
and until we find this truth of who we are,
which will reveal the truth of what this all is,
until then,
one will not feel complete.

And when one finds IT,
one will know that it has always been there,
that it is always here,
that we were simply conditioned to give our backs to it.

Once we begin to see what is true and what is false,
we begin to see that all of our believes go against IT,
they go against truth.

Ultimately,
what we are searching for is here in this moment.

Always is in this moment.

It just can not be seen if we are clinging to any-thing.

One must surrender every-thing to this moment.

Accept death.

Accept the truth that one day you will die,
and that one day your friends and family will die,
and that everything that is alive will die,
and go deep into understanding what the point of it could be.

If at one point we are all going to die,
then what is the point of it all?

Why struggle,
why work,
why stress to be a millionare,
to build a reputation,
fame,
what for?

If at some point we are going to die and it is all going to disappear?

Then what could be the point of it all?

As far as i have understood,
one needs to become very silent.

One needs to start watching one's thoughts.

So that we do not have the mind talking to us at all times,
so that we can put the mind at rest.

Because the mind contains too much borrowed knowledge,
the voices that speak in the mind is not your true voice,
it is the voices of people.

We have to pause the mind,
so that we can know what truly is true,
so that we can know the truth about our-selfs.

And the truth is,
that we are not this body and mind,
that we are not any of these experiences that we are living,
that we are somewhere else,
simply aware of it all.

We are the awareness,
we ARE awareness.

We are just watchers.

Watching us speak,
watching us think,
watching us do,
watching us feel,
watching us sleep and dream,
watching every single thing that happens or does not happen in this moment.

And that watcher,
that watching,
is eternally always here,
and always has been.

Meditate and you will know it,
and you will know real peace,
real power.

Deeply study your-self and you will know reality.

I feel like a small frightened child, one who has become lost in the deep dark woods of every child’s nightmares, cold, alone, well past “losing one’s cool” and just precious inches away from “flipping one’s ****,” the only things that I possess a flashlight that I cannot figure out how to switch on, a compass that only points backwards and a magical, wish granting genie that only speaks in a language that I have never heard and therefor do not  understand while at the same time am not understood, whose only option to improve his situation is to sit in one spot and wait for help to arrive but what if it doesn’t  so I am forced to action to fashion crude tools and build a shelter and hunt and cook and survive because no one is going to find me and I am not going to find my way out, so I must live in the forest of nightmares and darkness...
...and then I begin to wonder if that small child is not a child at all, but an aging man in a worn bathrobe, alone in a darkened room in an asylum, sitting under a table with a bed sheet hanging over the sides like a makeshift tent, trying desperately to find the “ON” button of an empty pill bottle while I wait for a wound out, wind up clock to find North during the stock market numbers on the local Hispanic radio station, forever stuck in the nightmare forest created by his own mind, which is somehow less terrifying than the reality of his unreality...
...because it is beginning to become very muddled in both of those places and I am beginning to lose track of his self so here looks like a good place to sit down and wait for help to not arrive and over there a good spot to build a temporary cemetery plot to rest my weary hours and while away the bones because unless I figure out a way to sort his self out, I will forget to send for help that I am tired of waiting for and the seconds in the dark that were not there a moment ago and may not be here now will be gone forever when the clock strikes South-East and I am left alone again with only a snot nosed codger and a loony old brat, looking out a window that directly faces a brick wall, watching and praying for the sun to rise on its horizon.

Some introductory food for thought...

“What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or in the holy name of liberty or democracy?”
    - Mahatma Ghandi

“Totalitarianism is not only hell, but all the dream of paradise-- the age-old dream of a world where everybody would live in harmony, united by a single common will and faith, without secrets from one another."
   - Milan Kundera

"Each generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it."
  - George Orwell


Technocracy as scientific Totalitarianism?
Technocracy is the institutionalised control over all aspects of society by scientific and technological means through a centralised autocratic bureaucracy, whose totalitarian control is secured by the exploitation of its means. Universal utilitarianism over the psychologies, sociology, technology, pharmacology, etc. Whose state authority relies solely on the implementation of systematic indoctrination and propaganda, and the methodical interception of political dissidence or heresy against the established ideological order (in whatever form it takes). Human beings, as the most exhaustively studied species on Earth, have no shortage of data, nor any famine of instances littered among history that create the foundation of a deterministic human proclivity to be influenced by covert forces, often even when staring us in the face.


The institutionalisation of Peace as a political concept?
Peace, among the broader consensus, means to many and ideal not only of great significance, but too, a matter of urgency in a world of almost instantaneous advancement in the technological means of warfare, with the capability of mass destruction or even global fallout ever possible at the push of a button. Peace, however, as a political concept (like all concepts) is multilateral in the diversity of its manifestation, and is one of vague understanding to those who might purport its value, or perhaps not to those who might reap its more nefarious facets. Institutionalised ideology (possibly even Peace as a concept) has a tendency to shift to the extreme spectrum of its implementation in order to compensate for, by physical and ideological assets, the inevitable opposition that will rise in its wake or during its implementation. This is why, despite the seemingly sympathetic characteristics of Marxist ideology, it requires, when in its institutionalised from, a means of repressing antithetical views or activity, for instance, within the Soviet system. Because of this proclivity, it is thus safe to assert that even Peace, when in an institutionalised state could adopt a form of despotic hard and soft power in the enforcement of its ideological tenets.


Peace as an ideological control system?
It is necessary to understand the extent to which the concept of peace can be applied and that to which it's linguistic value could be altered or even neologistically reinvented. Peace, as generally perceived, means a vague ideal of harmony between people, generally applied to warfare and violence and the unnecessary suffering it causes. However, it is surely necessary to contemplate the id of its concept, which could still, by technicality, represent peace. Here is a legalese style list of how it could be applied, utilised as an ideological system of control:

• Opposing dialectic or political discourse between two or more groups or individuals as a breach of peace, for it produces a state of non-neutrality and thus a state of conflict (of ideas).
• Opposition to the state by activism or an expression of opinion as a breach of peace, for it may incite a state of conflict, or a spread of opposition.
• Multi-partisan politics as a concept that produces conflict (of ideas) and thus would be a breach of peace, and therefor is necessary to maintain a single-party system.

These are some ways in which I have tried to apply the political concept of peace as could be utilised for an ideological system of control through the rule of law or other means. Peace is generally perceived as a concept existing on the macro, however, here having been applied to the micro, it becomes scrutinous and can target by technicality, basic liberties. Theoretically, peace can mean absolutist ideological neutrality.


- a short essay by JDH

Since I had returned from the missing,
In life from family and loved ones.

Loss of Dearly Beloved Partners,
Whereby certain words had been,
Unnecessary with those of very deep bonds.

Sure I understand, understood then,
What I dared not spoke of truly with embodied beings.

It was a true joy Easter 1978,
To get together with your family.
Mom , Dad and Steven had been there.

We had a chance to talk as young adults,
Perhaps get to know each other in such a new way.

Sure you 16, said 'you were woman',
I have long since found the words of;

'I once loved a woman, a child I'm told
I give her my heart but she wanted my soul
Don't think twice, it's all right.'

Chillingly haunting still!!
For better and or worse still!!

But there we were young enough adults,
You were so receptive and I spoke in your earnest attention.
While too I picked up many subtle things by you,
Few words came back.

But you listened so well my friend whom I saw.
Surely I was open and in dire need to tell my story to a soul alive.
I refer to such as 'my little sermon on the mount' still at any price.
And so I believed in you as some partner then there indeed.

Not necessarily as unfolded, but such all did.
'We never did to much talking anyway';

Well not so true at all really on the contrary.
But 'Jeremiah was a Bull Frog';

Apparently,

I'm not sure if either understood a word said to this very day.

'What was it you wanted';
Can you say?

You tell me I can't,
Never could.

Claims of 'Christ Discipleship' in differing ways!!

Joy To The World

And I can take all detail like a wild man, savant,
Roll around the 'wheel of spectrum disorders' I know.

Still know just One thing!!!
We have been here before in oh so many ways!!

On one hand I understand 'All Complications',
Oh so simply of All Gods Children!!
On the other hand none at all.

So hard to understand and accept all at once!!

I always knew you,
By Eve of Halloween's Eve later same year;
Or more acutely so very soon thereafter that;

You were somehow my 'nemesis';
That was would produce my 'dark night of soul';

I was once again conquered,
By just one moment of doubt

Dark Knight
Loving Brightly

I was even joyed by that!!

Still I would believe in things,
I was already assured of in this my life;

'The World'
We live in

Here
Hear

In these now's.

I sum up 'The Word' Bible in just one Word,
By that 'Red Letter Word' at the Last Supper.

About LOVE sure,
But just two letters;

'AS'

As in;
'Just love one another 'AS' I have loved you'!!

Which was with Gods;
  
Gifts of 100% Judgement on with Zero Judgmentalness!!

That is my friend and partner most true I only understand!!

Good News Being Good!!!

Christians say 'well hey look Moses had 10 then expounded 5 books beyond as Torah.

Well,
See!!!

Shaman Master J

Got's that down to just 2 !!;

'Love God with all your heart and your neighbor as yourself'!!!

Ya and in front of the corrupt politicized,
Blasphemed powers of the Hebrew leaders that day!!!

Reciting the Torah
Standing on one foot!!

~8~~~
Days a Week

Wow!!!
Huh!!!

Well truth be he was just reciting,
The living word near verbatim of the last minor prophets in those last days!!!

Otherwise he would and did say like the Greeks,
In marble on their temple and as I know,
Easier otherwise to say;

'Know Thyself';

All creation is within all things,
So therefor on this path of inner self honesty,
With the message we all inwardly receive,
It all lines up and all mystery ceases to be!!!

So no I do not understand,
Certain types of complications,
No I don't.

All so overly simple to me!!

You have always overly impressed me,
In oh so many ways, such inherent 'gifts';

But they must breathe or what are they.

We may be off charts at different ends;
Yet I still know how close to very fine are these lines between!!

Yet,

'Liteheart5'

'Lite125'
~8~~
Fly Free!!!!

~3~~
Be yet between!!!

Even
AS Shaman Master J;

/ so much typical association with one letter / ...
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/just-love-one-another-as/

Happy Birthday,
Always, All Ways!!!

From a text you might recall,
I poemalized by whom in your contact list,
By phone I have been,
Dubbed 'Ron the Lord'!!!!

Garlic Really??? or !!!
Sure I can understand your heart / that just assume chop garlic really / ...
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/garlic-really-or/

Yes 'hued partner,
We too ~2~ can,
Be family!!!

Still
~3~~ between!!!
Us Two!!

~~5~~~
Too
Must Breathe

<3<3:):):)!!! R
Not so complicated!!!!

Illegally Separate
You some other me / some how wherefore / way; / X'YZleeeping; / I ...
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/illegally-seperate/

The New Dew Due, 'Double Triple Two Steps' Forward!!!
Believe as 'The Heavenly Father" speaks life living within you!! / Than cast continually ...
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/the-new-dew-due-double-triple-two-steps-forward/

eYe
Will Always
Love You!!! Ra, Ra Ron!!!

I have written some beautiful things about you!!
Some in paper hoards somewhere like;

"30 Trillion Light Year Journey"
'08 that date I am certain of!!

'Stitched without a trace',
A beaut,
I'd love to dig up,
Idk where but paper,
It is somewhere here!!!

'Worlds Most Wanted Woman',
Stuck on my old phone will be retrieved at some point,
Stored in it's memory viable I know,
Was a long text or series,
I know you so love!!!

Yes by 'Ron the Lord'!!!!
<3<3:):):)!!!

LOVE!!!R

Ty Josephine!!!!

*~Sa Sa, Ra!!!~~

Slowly your fingers dance over my skin
Creating sparks between us
You rediscover my hands
Once again laugh at my rigid thumb
My legs cross yours
While I lay in your arms
Your body have tucked me in
Yet my eyes tear up
So I press my face against your chest
Get calm by the rythm of your heartbeat
You hold me closer and I want to whisper
Never let me go, never let this moment go
Instead I look up from your chest
You kiss me slowly until time catch up
Therefor I need to say the dreadfull words
*I must go

Love settles in the back of my head and chest, but if love was a thought it was a feeling in the time of sadness which is all the time of course, sadness does not exist without reality and reality be nothing without despair. The balance of life is not black in white, yin or yen,  or happiness and sadness it is sadness and less sadness because sadness with always cover everyones head with the veil of death because death, is inevitable and death brings sadness therefor sadness is inevitable.

Death lines the corners of my mouth waiting to be inhaled as i smoke my first and maybe last cigarette maybe last because I can die at any moment.

The majority of humanity thinks and believes that the mind-body is the whole being.

The majority of people today are stuck in dreams,
in characters.



Ever since it has become clear to me that i am not this body-mind,
i can do absolutely nothing this whole lifetime and still have so much fun peacefully observing every-single-thing.

And from the very moment of realization,
aside from learning as much as possible from this body and this world,
the wanting to share this experience has been tremendously irresistible.

Life and this entire world is so nice and beautiful and fun,
but it is all temporal,
it is not for ever,
it does not last for ever.

It is absolutely clear enough to see that every-thing that lives, dies.

My question then is:

Why are we so attached to the things of this world,
and why are we taking it all so serious?

It is the goal of Life for every-one to come to experience the Truth

A life-time is enough to touch people.

In this life-time,
threw Esteban,
i can demonstrate to others how life should be according to human nature.

But threw Esteban,
only a few years will be available.

Hence in these few years,
not a day will go by in which i am not following the heart,
and the Way of nature and Life.

It is threw my enjoyment of life,
threw my exploration of life,
that my true message is revealed.

I have thought about writing books;
but there is already so many books,
each expressing truth in different and unique ways..

Jesus was killed because he wouldn't stop expressing his truth.

And ever since the time of Jesus,
there have been so many books,
so many great books,
inspiring humanity to wake up.

So wether i write just another book on Truth or not,
it is the book of my whole life that will leave a mark on eternity;
not just a few truthful words,
but a whole truthful life.

And the funny thing is,
that it is such a simple thing to do..

It simply requires that one lets go of the image that has been created in the mind about who you think you are.

In other words,
the ego.

And not only who you think you are,
but also of who you want to be,
who you are struggling to be.

And that can be a hard thing for some people,
because they have been working ******* this image.

But this individuality,
this believe that you are separate from existence,
has to dissolve.

Because the whole effort to be famous and known in the world is only satisfying the ego.

The satisfaction is of your own mind,
and it comes when you can repeatedly tell your-self:
I am this. I have done this. I have achieved this. Look at who i am. Look at what i have done!

It is a silly idea that one has to let go of,
because truth is,
that we are not separate from the universe,
we are not divided from nature and existence.

The ego wants Life to be according to its own made up plan..

Forgetting that the whole evolution of Life and consciousness has been in it's process way before humans were created.

Therefor,
separating one's self from the whole of existence is a very silly thing to do.

Because every-thing that exists,
every-thing that lives,
is all working together,
as One,
according to Nature,
in accordance to the flow of Life.

Clearly enough,
all sufferings and all negativity,
arise when this separate image appears,
and tries to create its own personal way of life.

This imaginary identity desperately demands from life and says :
"Ok no! Why are things like this? Why are they not like this??"

In its own personal ignorance,
it asks for the impossible.

Ego is greedy.

It wants to be the owner of things,
it wants to be in control of everything.

It wants to control the weather..

If it is raining,
ego complains:
"****, why is it raining??"

If you have a girlfriend/ boyfriend,
ego wants to be in control,
bringing onto you,
self created conflicts by wanting things that can not be,
that can not happen.

One needs to understand how things truly are and begin to accept their reality.

Accept the things that we can control and the things we can not control.

The things that we are responsible for and the things we are not responsible for.

You are responsible for your life,
I am responsible for my life,
We are responsible for our lives,
and that is all.

As i see it,
life is a deep study of ourselves.

A challenging opportunity to analyze the things in us that have to be fixed,
that have to be balanced.

We can not keep going with life unconscious about our un-balances,
habits,
addictions.

We have to work on the things that are not right in us.

And even though we all have different un-balances,
in the end it comes down to knowing who we are.

When i say "we",
i am not talking about the mind-body organism;
When i say "we",
i am talking about the awareness.

So when i say "we",
i am referring NOT to the one who is talking right now using words, symbols, sounds, and language,
but to the silence from which all sounds come out of and eventually return to.

That silence i refer to as awareness.

It has no shape or form.

Awareness is formless.

And once we start to see that we are that which has no form,
we can then dis-identify from that which consists of form,
and this brings total freedom.

It means freedom from the things that come and go,
freedom from all that is temporal.

One begins to enter the realm of eternity.

One begins to understand how we are eternity itself.

What is the eternal?

The eternal is that which IS without any form.

And as it is clearly seen,
everything that has form at one point turns into no-form.

What ever has a form will eventually dissolve into no-form.

What is that inside of the form that allows the form to move?

What is it that gives life to the form?

The form disappears,
but that invisible force of energy always remains.

As far as my understanding goes as of now:

Just as we are not the creators,
the designers,
of our whole body,
we do not bind our-selves to the body either,
that is a job of God.

It is God who designed the body,
we are just the awareness.

And the awareness is everywhere,
in every-thing.

But as the awareness,
right now we are experiencing ourselves threw the human body,
and in the capacity of this human experience,
we are able to know our true selfs,
coming closer to God than ever before.

And the human life-form is the only life-form that can go so far in this understanding.

All other life-forms are incapable of this understanding.

The very same awareness that we are,
that is also in plants and animals,
can not have the same experience that the human body allows.

And that is all part of the goal of life and evolution.

That is the journey of consciousness,
to come to this point of being a human,
and here by,
totally allowing the understanding of who we are.


Now this can not be understood by the mind,
hence one must go beyond mind.

Because the mind is part of the body.

It is not the whole.

By my own understanding:

We can not rely on the mind.
We can not believe the mind.
We can not believe our thoughts.
We can not believe the thoughts of others.

We can not believe in believes because believe is not truth.

Wether one believes or does not believe,
truth remains truth.

The mind is an amazing tool,
provided by the human body,
to help and serve the human being;
To  learn from the past,
and to plan for the future.

But we can not count on the mind to tell us what is true,
because mind is a huge storage room,
it is all memory;
Mind is like a computer full of data with so much information,
so much knowledge.

So much that the whole history of humanity is there.

But it is impossible to see ourselves threw the mind,
for the simple reason that WE can see the mind.

WE are aware of the mind.
WE are aware of thoughts.
WE see all images that happen in our head.

When we are thinking,
we are NOT the thinker.

This is where things went wrong.

When we started to believe that we are the thinker.

We started thinking so much,
that at some point,
not even realizing it,
we started to think and then believe,
that we are the thinker.

And this is the mind-trap that drowns us into confusions.


If your heart is speaking to you,
if something from within is pulling you,
it is going to happen.

If you are in the world,
and something does not feel right,
as if something is missing,
as if you are incomplete in some way,
and something has to be attained,
found,
you are going to find it,
as long as you stick with your feelings.

And even though it is a sucky situation,
even though it is not a totally peaceful struggle to figure out what is true and what is not true,
it will be impossible to run away from it,
because it will continue to haunt you.

It is always going to be there,
pulling you,
pulling you,
pulling you.

If you are feeling pulled into something great,
out of this world,
my advice,
is that you follow your feelings.

Forget all about this world.

Do not be concerned with what other people tell you.

Discover life on your own.

Discover truth for yourself.

Learn what you can from people.

Listen to people,
but do not believe people.

Flow with life,
and where ever you are,
be there as the observer.


If you are with people,
just watch people.

If you are by yourself,
just watch yourself.

Keep following your feelings.

No one bears witness
to the loneliness that a man holds inside.
Therefor, No one can bring him comfort.

There exist no mountain high enough
to shield him from the tidal wave of doubt,
No fire hot enough to burn away his insecurities.
Nor a drug potent enough to hurl him far from reality.

His every dream and hope take the same
suicidal plunge towards unfulfillment,
as do his desires and cravings.
He's become all to familiar with this hollow shell
of existence that presents itself in his bathroom mirror.

Failure wraps around him
Constructing his every thought
and suffocating any sign of imagination.
His dreams vanish into oblivion
and as his vision fades to black,
the world whispers...
"You Are Nothing".

But, As his heart withers away
like a dying star...
His soul explodes with inspiration.
The windows of the night shatter,
Allowing the brightness of confidence to bleed through
and his faith be resurrected.
He gains the courage
to stand against the world
and even tho it opposes him
He continues to pursue that which he knows
can be accomplished,
Forgetting that he was ever... doubtful.

my mind is so logical
when its thinking illogically
that it is just soooo logical
that the illogical
thoughts become logical
therefor even the craziest
of thoughts are sane
even in this insane
mind because it just makes sense
it is so logical.

Some introductory food for thought...

"Manufacturing and commercial monopolies owe their origin not to a tendency imminent in a capitalist economy but to governmental interventionist policy directed against free trade and laissez faire."
  - Ludwig Von Mises

"Bureaucracies are inherently antidemocratic. Bureaucrats derive their power from their position in the structure, not from their relations with the people they are supposed to serve. The people are not masters of the bureaucracy, but its clients."
  - Alan Keyes


The European Union as the New Eastern Bloc?
The Eastern Trading Bloc of the Soviet system had it's origins in the tail end of the Second World war, where, through the suppression of the whereabouts of Kremlin manipulation, had purported itself as democratic agreement, initially giving itself the appearance of a 'bourgeois democracy' as the Soviets called it. Though, inherently was, and clearly became an imperial establishment of control from the Soviet Bureaucracy. Likewise, the European Union, when originally advertised to the nations of Europe was propped up in a similarly unassuming manner, despite having been previously discussed and having the concepts of such a union already organised further back into 1948 at the Hague Conference. The parallels of such such unions (Eastern/Euro) are that they garnered the consent of the public through their foundation being merely upon an economic transnational policy, and not a political one, and therefor their basic parallels are that of deceit.

The Eastern Bloc formed what was essentially a symbiosis of the state and the economy, something that naturally would be inherent under a Communist regime. However, the European Union, too, follows a similar reciprocal foundation, for it binds the state and economy, removing the separation of powers by Capitalistic enterprise, and instead, Centralises governance in a more oligarchical, corporate and bureaucratic apparatus. Operating through a complex arrangement of multitudinous committees and boards, whose members form a body of non-elected representatives. Essentially the European Union, on the guise of an economic market, has formed a centralised, quasi-private parliament akin to the Soviet style hegemony of the Eastern Bloc, and through soft-intimidation and misinformation, keeps it's members bonded. Lest it be forgotten that the Union is allegedly one of 'free trade', yet, when discourse begins to brew of leaving, as it did in Britain, why are we met with threats of economic disability and ostracization? That shows more the signs of a protection racket; of bureaucratic gangsterism, than it does of a voluntary cooperation of national markets.


The unification of Germany and the amalgamation of the European continent?
In a more predictive sense, the European Union shares similarities in it's unifying policies, as it it does to the unification of the German states circa 1871. Spearheaded during the Bismarckian era of the late nineteenth century, Germany, well within a period of two decades transformed from a collection of trading states, to a fully amalgamated nation under Prussian dominated rule, but by what means did this occur, and in what ways does the unification of Germany share similarities to modern Europe?

Of course, the chief processes of German unification lied in the economy, the political structure and culture, the political structure I have already covered. The establishment of a newly amalgamated economy among the German States was created through the breaking down of trade barriers between the previously independent states, one of which ways in doing so was the introduction of the single German currency (the Mark) along with a centralised banking system that allowed for both monetary control by the state and the removal of currency exchange between regions. Likewise the European Union brought with it the introduction of a common European currency (the Euro) and too, a European Central Bank. The new Germany also extended its unification to the creation of a common German culture that evoked a sense of nationalism, for instance, the establishment of a new national anthem and German military, to be paraded with pride. Too, the standardisation of the school system to create a state of coherent socialisation among the German generations. What we see with the European Union is also the creation of a common European national anthem and a cooperative European military (though a centralised European military is still developing) and through policies such as the Bolonga Process, the education system of Europe as a whole has been standardised to the specific image of the European Union, even a single European emergency number (112) is under proposition.

It is said that history repeats itself, and perhaps what we are living through today is the amalgamation of the European states as transpired nearly 150 years ago within central Europe. And that the non-representative, self appointing parliament of the European Union, resembles almost a kind of bureaucratic Kaiserreich; a kind of Prussian hegemony of the modern day.


- a short essay by JDH

Step 1: Be as anxiety ridden as possible.
Get a bladder infection because you are too scared to ask the teacher to use the restroom.
Fail your Algebra class because you fear that if you tell her you are confused, she will laugh at you.
Everyone will laugh at you.
Wear dresses and frilly skirts because you are scared to come out as transgender.
Your mind will mock you with thoughts along the lines of,
“ You dont deserve to be a boy.”
Just go along with it.
Let the words bounce in your head like children in a bouncy house.
Do not reach for the ibuprofen bottle.
You see your mind will need to be as messy as your heart.
Therefor your heart will have to crumble into an avalanche.
DO NOT PICK UP THE PIECES.
You will need to be addicted to starbucks and body modifications.
Do not get anything less than a Venti because if you do not get your daily dose of caffeine you will go into withdrawls.
You need to modify your body because it is the only thing you can control.

Step 2: Make your hair as colorful and bright as possible because then maybe your mom will understand the fact that you are gay.
Maybe if you turn your head into a walking pride flag you will not have to see the look of disappointment coat her face when you step out of the closet.
I know what youre thinking because I have been told this before.
“But honey, the closet is made for clothes.”
Yeah youre **** right but the closet is also the only place you can hide your chest binder and boxers,
They will sit right next to your pushup bras.

Step 3: Feel everything.
Feel every single thing as deeply as you can because if you do not,
Then how will you get a messy heart?
And to have a messy mind your heart must match like the couple shirts he bought you on your one year anniversery.
Do not love him.
He will break your heart two years in and cram the words
“I simply dont want you” down your throat
And you may not cry.
You may not show him you are hurting because then he will know you care.
Then he will know you are wrapped around his finger as tightly as you can.

Step 4: Do not fall in love.
Even if it is simply with the brush strokes on a canvas.
Do not fall in love with anyone before you fall in love with yourself because for the past two years, toxic waste has filled your veins.
Do you know how much it hurt to bleach him out of your mind?
You have to scrub his fingerprints off of your body.
You will become raw.
It is okay to be raw,
You just have to learn to heal yourself.
No more coating the burn wounds with promises of forever.
No more temporary treatments.
For the sake of your sanity,
You must fall in love with yourself,
Before you can learn to not love him.

Of everything offered
all that's extended
which one is which is obscure and intended is
something unknown

therefor cautious calculations
fits against patience
stress and the tension increase with the waves made
of guessing anxiety
a gambling joy
a fight against futures that never employ
something imagined success and the like
are riding on picking from the array of doors

these doors lead to everything all that i have waited
the blade is so dull and tainted and faded
but maybe its better to wait here elated
by gambling choices i make here
failure evaded.

As I searched for an escapeOut of a path of oldDestiny Stumbled Me Back Onto a new path of goldAs follow the yellow brickDown the spiraling wayThere are obstacles and peopleThat try to lead me astrayI see you right nowWhere the two roads entwined Smiling Mischievously Having a motive in mindYour presence intoxicates meYour hands making my body like fireMaking me want to lose controlAnd tempting hidden desireBut as I start to wake upI see your true selfIts not another manIts another copy of himselfI abandoned that dark timeLeaving the man I loved thereFor he hurt me greatly Filling my life with despairDon’t fill my head with nonsenseWith Pretty words and hopeThey are just as usefulAs being in a hole without rope.You did good for a whileHaving me go with your deceptionBut now that you have let slip your natureIt has given me a clear new perception.You can not own meThis wild horse will not be tamedAnd if you hate me for thisI walk high unashamedSo I walk past youOn this path of shineCan promise that not again Will our paths entwineSo with my pride kept safeUnder protection and knifeNow I’m ready to beginA fresh new start for my life

'Evil'?
Do you even know what TRUE 'Evil' even is?!
Let me explain it to you, while your still alive..
Stay with me for a moment,
I realize it is difficult to focus with a 2 and a half foot machete dug through and through, but please, let me elaborate this for you.
I have not hit any vital organs, therefor you will live.
(Only for as long as I allow it)
But that does not mean you will enjoy what is to come next.
On the other side of this wall are several people you love.
And I do mean,
truly.. 'Love'.
the first 3 are members of your family,
the one next to them is your lady/boyfriend.
Next to him/her is a pet you have held close dearly for a significant amount of time in your life.
And finally, your best friend.
You are going to watch me, as I rip the very meaning to your entire existence into oblivion.
Think I am kidding?
Watch closely...
You won't want to miss this.
hahaha...
Hahaha..
Ahhhahaha!
AHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!

I will never forget when you reminded me
that you were right and I was wrong
That I was young and you were old
That I was small and you were large
That I was grey and you were gold
You speak and I speak differently, therefor I am forever wrong

Huffing
Ingenious
Lacking
Luster

The top of a hill rarely presents
anything to drink
to anyone.
More like lies
told from a boy
who likes to make
people thirsty.
And then let them down
with the discovery
that they are gullible
and therefor,
being tortured.

While browsing through one of your fancy medical magazines
I read an article that stated that
most of us will die due to a heart related issue.

You tried to grab the magazine out of my hand
before I turned this into discussion on existentialism.
(too late)

"Ha!" I couldn't help but laugh...

"The mind is the real killer,
we all know that!" I exclaimed.

"The rejections, the let downs,
the mistakes, the loses, our own self esteem,
our unaccomplished dreams,
replaying over and over and over and over in our heads;
eating away at our sanity.
Now that's what gets us."

You sighed dramatically as I continued to ramble on...

"In fact you're lucky if your heart dies out before your mind does;
But If you're like most you'll live life like a zombie
with a heart that beats like a champion."

At this point your eyes had already glossed over, you were probably thinking about ice cream or the weather but I carried on...

"We think therefor we are.
In our miserable little thoughts we will find both our lives and our deaths."

You stood up and headed for the kitchen to serve yourself a giant bowl of ice cream.
I knew you were thinking about ice cream the whole time.

I feel the need to say something to someone
why am I not enough for myself?
who is it that needs to listen?
its some form of self inflicted torment
I unknowingly bring upon myself
my mind only knowns how to cause harm to itself
something inside me calls for something else
I'm never getting there
no matter what signs may come my way
I am hindered by my own lack of will
its been so long in the darkness
I've lost sight of everything
this is all I know
**** this existence
i don't know what I'm doing anymore
right now there is nothing. just meaninglessness. lost and dead.
the only thing keeping me breathing is to avoid more negativity
because i don't know, maybe hell really is a place
and not just that, I've always tasted it, I'm there in some ways
maybe death is a more exaggerated form of imagination
and my earthly presence is a bittersweet existence
maybe this is my mercy, for the lost and ******
we can only hurt our minds and soul
but given grace to have a primary state constricted by time and space
I can only assume at best my top priority is to purify myself
but how? no one can do this but me
I'm alone and isolated from the rest of you
yet taunted because we are what appears to be close
but it means nothing without connection
to me you and everyone else are just some ignorant drone
indulging in meaningless *******
your schooling, your work, family, friends.. your memories
will all fade and be swept away by the tides of time
who the **** are you? what are you?
we're dropped on this planet, ignorantly acting out
participating with the rest of existence, never questioning
when one day you might stop and wonder
we have no divine guidance, or intervention
we're on our own left to live out a meaningless existence
and perhaps it was better to keep our eyes closed
because I've caught myself in a trap of eternal melancholy
and I can never strip myself of the moment
its always here, my awake and aware is just painful
being quiet and observant of everyone and everything is useless
I have nothing to put in to anything here
and I feel guilt because I can't experience love or joy
to share my good feelings with someone
to have those things that make life worth living
maybe I can touch them but I can never own them for myself
I think others can, and perhaps they never once had to think of it
but I do, I think to a sick amount I don't even think I know because I've had so little contrast
contrast is what I need, if I ever experience pure joy again
only then can I see just how depressed and miserable and deprived I was
and then that itself brings me back down, because I mourn for myself
therefor any spit of hope or joy is always out of reach for me
the only thing that makes me feel okay is alcohol,
and thats just sometimes.
maybe its better to be an alcoholic than to be depressed
I don't understand why I lack the simple ability to make myself feel better
why I'm given no helping hand? no other soul can help because they could never know exactly what I'm experiencing.
therefor we have a disconnect.
this is why I'm isolated, so lost and bewildered
no one can see it
its so simple to hide, people are fools
this is why I crave so deeply so something unworldly
to be visited by some benevolent being of divine intelligence
to hold me, to look deep into me and for us both to just KNOW.
thats all I want. will I ever get that? i don't know,
I've heard stories, just stories. as much as it sounds wonderful I can't fully adopt someone else's faith because their experiences are not my own.
I've never had a real personal experience with God or entities or whatever you want to call it.
I've tried so hard I need to stop because I fear I'm making myself schizophrenic or something. there is no clear path to anything greater than whats here on Earth. I'm constantly questioning and I can't stop, I'm never getting an answer either, its painful and I'm just suffering every step along the way. Part of me has given up on life already. but I literally can't, I keep going on, still talking and moving when I'm prompted. I just feel like a machine with the only purpose to do things for other people. I'm really not all here, because I hate being here so much, my mind just wants to run away so bad. I kind of hate myself. I can't even look at myself in the mirror without feeling so much remorse. I want less and less to do with the outside world, I have nothing to give, and it has nothing to offer. It all feels like a bad dream I can never wake up from. I'm honestly just waiting until I die, I have many different ideas about what it could be after death, no matter how many times I read about it or hear the millions of people pledge their faith in some concept, I will just never ever know for sure, and that scares me. I already feel guilt for not living a good life, mostly for other people who are stuck with the fact they know me. my family are too good of people to let me go. I love them, and it makes me sad. If I had no one in my life maybe it would make things easier. no one to let down, no one to be a burden to, no guilt, no pain for failed relationships. I already feel a foreigner on this ugly planet stuck to deal with these elitist ****** who run the whole show. I'm not meant for this life or anything for that matter. maybe the best thing that could happen is for every fragment of a soul I might have to be scattered throughout the cosmos and be left unconscious. because being conscious is just a painful burden.

blink the light back
make your eyes strong enough
to never see again

the dreams
easily forgotten
always lived

you never knew why
you never knew why
you never knew

you never knew

i know
and therefor i'm forsaken

i knew
and therefor dreamed

I've noticed that the our Fears can more or less be something simple, but it created into something complex and seemingly unimaginable to overcome. The reality is, we can overcome anything that our mind first started. We can retrace the steps, but we might not meet back where we started, because where we were is not where we are suppose to be. We have learned too much, seen to much, and have grown in ways that will not take us back to where we once were, even if that place was good, because chances are we attained new knowledge, therefor will be better than ever before.

My fears are valid. The feelings are real. The fear I have itself is just a manifestation of my ego, keeping me frozen in the rigid cycle of perfectionism, that which kills my creativity and inspiration, and breeds loneliness and isolation.

I could wait for change to come, but I'd rather be brave, and be the once to decide, in my time, the change I do wish to see.

So if poetry is a riddle, is love the key?

Do we subtract sadness?

Take away fear?

What about pain?

In this equation who gains?

Life's a never ending circle of questioning what comes next,

And I'm not sure

Because I've felt a feeling I can't quite keep a hold of,

And it slips from my fingers just as it slips from my mind

And in this crawlspace inside my head I've decided, that we're better off alive.

Despite the pain that grows,

The anger that flows through our veins I still believe that we are at the very least,

Human.

And that is a thing in and of itself, to be able to say that today, I am and therefor will be and therefore always will be because I believe it to be such,

And tomorrow, I think I'll love.

And maybe I'll find a reason to cry,

Or a reason to yell or a reason to scream or day dream.

And maybe, I'll write poetry,

A symphony of constructed thought like I was born into a world where nothing else matters,

And maybe you can too,

Maybe you can believe in things that break you,

Like the things that don't **** me make me strong

The things that I do wrong today I won't do wrong tomorrow,

I hope

And nobody is perfect, and nobody should try to be

But with a language as fluid, and universal as feeling?

Why restrict it to the grandest of all?

Let's get down to brass tacks,

The nitty gritty, let's find the dark spots so that the bright ones seem brighter

Let's fill the room with ***** things so that you don't worry so much about what's under your fingernails.

Let's find out how beautiful beauty can be but first, a little perspective

Let's live through these hard times so we know how much better things can get

Let's find out how many feelings you can feel in just a few short years,

Let's become the people we always dreamt of being, and true change seems to stem only from tragedy,

But let's embrace them,

Because all of these things?

Are what makes you, you.