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Nina JC Jan 2015
Last week I was taught that
no matter how complex an expression may seem
if you multiply it by its conjugate pair
you will always end up with a non-negative real solution.
That is a metaphor for how we have learned to love.

I used to like mathematics, as strange as it may sound,
because memorising the value of pi was
somehow easier than forgetting the notion of you
and I thought maybe comprehending the mechanics of the universe
would lead me one step closer to cracking the combination.

In a world that spins at the rate of 27,900m per minute, a constant can prove tricky to find.
Hence, there is solace to be felt in knowing that even when it is all said and done –
when the final bullet has slipped from our tongues and we are left trembling
upon nothing but the rubble of our own destruction,
two plus three will still be equal to five.

In an attempt to clarify a theory to the class, my teacher analogised
that mathematics is like one big giant jigsaw puzzle:
everything always fits together perfectly in the end
Since then I have learned it is the method without the madness,
the passion for the predictable; it is everything - that love is not.

Not even the greatest mathematician in the world
has been able to measure how much a heart can hold.
There is no algorithm for how to make you come back;
I cannot draw a line graph on the speed at which love left
and even if I could, our gradients would never be the same.

I may have both halves of the bed,
but there is never enough space to fill it with.
If a task takes four hours for ten people to complete
and the same job takes five people twice that time,
how long will it take for a human to feel whole again?

Sometimes I think we are nothing more
than two parallel lines that accidentally crossed paths.
Mateuš Conrad Mar 2016
the greater technique in writing poetry,
is not really associated with the
scholastic, well at least not with poets-in-residence
at university institution, esp. with the current
curb on free experience of expression
having to walk a ballerina sort of walk on
tip toe, even though a ballerina walk on
hard surfaces is an elephants stomp (swan lake?
the drumming of the ballerinas deafens the
music, what a crude sadistic art-form),
and should ballerinas practice the art-form on
cushions they couldn't do their tip-toe...
a ballerina sort of walk to not cause usurping
apathy by the bullish heart is a paradox...
because hard topics with a ballerina tread will
still become a piano hitting the ground...
and soft topics with a ballerina tread will
only become the agonising loss of firm footing,
and a torture of the trivial having to be danced
upon with such seriousness as the samba would
otherwise allow... the tip-toe having not firm
rooting... if that makes a sensual impression on you,
so be it, it's hardly senseless to write such words,
since you see the symbolic encoding with you words,
so unless these arrangements don't make you blind,
i'm assuming you will not allow anti-geometrics of
certain painters... and instead you're embracing
satisfaction with squares and triangles...
a rigid narrative of pre-planning an expedition to
Antarctica asking for the right provisions of fur,
tents and water and food... it's not up to me to play with
these words for interpretation, i've made the interpretation
a freedom only you can behold, i can't always be found
willing to interpret the arrangement for you,
i'm not into thought ******* and shackling,
and if you're into that... then you're just plain ******* lazy;
i mean, if i was a poet-in-residence at a university
and told to mind recognisable poetic technique
in the range of onomatopoeia and metaphor
and not accept a higher technique, the digression
via the kaleidoscope, the many diversion,
changed subject matters... i'd bore myself to death...
of course there's the rambling technique of
a poetic narrative, a sudden caffeine injection of
the elevated moment, but that technique calls for
a single subject matter - i'm talking explosions...
a return to ballerinas, if poets mind hard subjects,
heavy subjects, and they want to treat on them
gracefully like ballerinas in agony
they will have to embrace the fact that such
"grace" is actually an elephants stomp...
it's no good asking ballerinas to practice their
art by dancing on cushions... the two graces -
one of dance and the other of grace will never allow
you to walk around on tip-tope...
oh come on, interpret it with images of some sort
of comparison, like a ballerina on a tightrope...
i'm not going to be spoon-feeding you
anywhere from the page.

spring clean, the boiler-man came for an annual
check-up, i was working and kept my room
a bit un-kept...
cleaned the windows, hoovered the floor,
steamed it, cleaned the bookshelves from dust,
it smelt like a mint-conditioning comic after,
changed the bedsheets,
took all the empty cups from the shelves,
spotless clean...
but i'm telling you, if i get to see 2015's
best film *inside out
by pixar i'd give you
a clear analysis on the specific points,
at the moment i have this **** of thinking
about how the optics of man
only start engaging in memory after 4 years
upon birth...
spending nine months in the waters of the womb
(imagine coal miners trapped in
perpetual coal-mine for nine months,
they'd re-enter the light of day like moles,
having to wear sunglasses for the same number
of months before the eyes adjusted) -
it's no wonder that the parts of the body
passing fluids (well, **** in the form of
diarrhoea is pigeon ****) are weak...
why the ***** i'm saying...
why the mushy pulp of the apple purée
because the oesophagus is weak too and needs
to develop like bones, become hardened,
indeed these soft tissues need to become firm
paralleled with bones, baby bones are undeveloped
in terms of how we can't walk at the beginning
but crawl... forget the drawings of darwinism
of shortened historical explanation...
our's isn't with tail and hunched spine...
we're crawling...
but the pixar film inside out i will write a detailed
analysis when i see it again...
at first i can only relate one fascination...
the way we only become to actually consciously
see aged ~4... prior to that we have no
optical impression of the world with memory...
memory and seeing only enjoin
aged ~4... prior to that all the senses are based
in the unconscious, once the senses emerge from
the unconscious, actual faculties develop,
sight develops with memory...
i could say that speech develops with sounds...
but ba ba goo goo ma ma da da is actual
gibberish to consider since we become so eloquent
after, aided by the fact that we capture sounds
with phonetic optics of letters...
i'll stick my ground,
the first symbiosis is that of sight and memory,
which also becomes a symbiosis of
sight and memorising-imagination, or memory-in-itself...
and the clash of these two symbioses
creates a paradox of what actually happened
and what happened upon re-imagining...
like i said, i could expand on the theories within
inside out, with my re-evaluation as alt. outside in,
and i can say about a 1000 child psychologists could
be spawned from this single film...
but you never know, i might even theorise further
tonight once i drink enough and get a toilet break;
and bear in mind i'm about to cross the threshold
of being awake for 24 hours, after i miscalculated
my doctor's appointment for an amitriptyline (25mg)
prescription; the depth of the film is immense,
but i think it's harsh for so many psychological
undertones to be shown t children,
i think that it's a film for adults, even though
it's rated U... and indeed, more like a U-turn in
terms of thinking about life than suitable for
the under-aged
,
at first you get the early stages of child development,
by the end of the film of hopefully seeing adolescent
development, but that's cut short when
puberty obstructs sensitive sensible matters that
lead into sadomasochism in certain cases,
and in others into ****** carelessness as documented
by grooming examples in societies, like the ones
in england... or two girls today in mini-skirts with
the still cold spring nights, one ******* crouched
in an alley, the other trying to ease her on
while i walk past to finish it quickly...
i could, really could bombast you with my little
theory tool-kit... when joy becomes jealous of
sadness and wants to rob sadness of a prime memory...
the simple cutting of the umbilical chord of
being born in one place, but moving to another...
the sheer thoughtless release of tears in a classroom...
then the imaginary friend encounter...
never take short-cuts with that third cat,
third elephant, third dolphin character leading
you into the world of imagination,
the imaginary friend is actually a placebo figure in
this realm, he can't have imagined it all,
we couldn't have been the first prize pundit in it all...
he's the thief of ownership...
and then dragged into the cyst pit of those
characters real in life, celebrating your third birthday,
still blind to the world... the rainbows of life
and the darkness of the foetal mine...
the clown who's less horror but more a 5 year
student of acting reduced to cheap party tricks...
distorted not in life, but in your dreams,
as proof that you really didn't see the world
so early... you couldn't have, because if you had,
the dream world would not distort so profoundly...
and upon re-entry into the foetal position of sleep
your first 3 years are reflected in sleep...
such that when joy and sadness walked into
the realm of the imagination i thought they'd wake
the girl up by going to the cinema to watch a horror movie
like the one joy tried to block when the family
first moved to san francisco...
oh indeed the over-layering of the five crude expressions
of thought, memory and imagination...
i wonder why these chose those five...
and there was no hope among them - and hope's
triplet shapes of hope itself, love, and fear...
and when suddenly the imaginary friend dragged
the poor girl into the abyss of forgettable memories,
it dawned on me how the girl sat there holding
memories she wished to remember, a motherly
narcissism as to say: my own child...
but it felt so strange to imagine this child
holding onto memories like that, when in reality
without the five crude impressions of feelings
she would be unable to do so... this melancholic
reflection of joy suddenly dawned upon her
that the real sadness was the it too was sadness,
for if natural selection exists... so too much
cognitive selection, however dear some things are
to us... some of us have to remember
being able to give surgery, learn to drive buses,
teach mathematics... to be truly enjoined with humanity,
and not simple childish solipsists;
even as such... write poetry and weep.
rk Apr 2021
i want to love you
like a lazy sunday morning
staying in bed
taking our time
sipping coffee
memorising every freckle
like the constellations in the sky
white sheets
and tangled limbs
with the scent of a memory
fresh on our lips.
FC Azaele May 2021
Hunger eyes stared down at the rod,
                awaiting it's own ***** alee    
Laid on the satin sheets, arms entangled
                milky thighs spread apart
Hunger eyes too stared down at me
    laying in inescapable, trembling bondages
A heat burning through our hearts - through us:
                That was desire.

I love him like this -
       where stars align;
               Buttons undone. Eyes lit with a burning flame
waiting to engulf me whole.
Touching me here, there - everywhere
       tracing the freckles on my skin that lay like speckled stars
   to the lines on my palm. Memorising.
His mouth gilding across with a wicked purpose
      as urns of a thousand suns pour blazing down my throat
               Not us did the saint align and embrace our pure hearts
We were in the other's self the ruin
               of purity's gentle caress
where my hand rests at
               in between to ease the trembling core
our bodies lay in the dead of the night
           both of us searching for more
                to no one but him do I come to thee!
as a cry aches through the silence of the night
       our souls connect - one of each
lit for each other
        lost, weighed on each others palms;
      This was our desire
murari sinha Sep 2010
( while taking a tour through those poems readers are requested to keep in their hands,  a feather from the pea-****’s tail )

Volga - 1

there might have been some provocation
on the part of the  rat’s bible  

it is not known when and how
every piece of sleep that spatters  
from the oesophagus of the dip-swimming  
has stick to the c-sharp
of the newly-purchased tooth-brush

the air within the wish-bicycle
figures nothing less

how much is it necessary now
to ****** the blue-hue  with the study
that can be saved by the depression of the Ganges-basin
to develop the snap-shot of the garland-exchange with the
antiseptic cream

would you think it for some moments
my lord
the lord of the market

before sending any secret e-mail
to the cyclone
residing in the room
behind the stair-case
let the Volga be read once more
with all its clothes
and hair-styles

Volga - 2

the winter of the water-canon
oxidised by the fireflies
wants to touch every bamboo-flute
of this soil, it seems

as if it plays
in the body of every cauliflower
the total memorising-skill
of  the blue and yellow pyramid

and if some lines of changes
in the planet be added
the birth-day of the bolster
that goes to the sea
may learn with a lesser effort
the pollen-efficiency of the nail-marked walls

how much should I scold the squirrels
who don’t want to swim
in the still-water of the black-board  

Volga – 3

the green-circuit of the fried-almonds
that was submerged
in the open-hair of the afternoon
the whole-night workshop
has taught
the thumb-impression is to be put
how far below it

if the autobiographies are planted
into the drawer of nature
the solubility of the river-reed
gets it done too late at night

all the plus-signs around
from their etiquettes
come down  

so many foot-notes
caused by the season-changes

so before planting life
to the address of the wall-lamps
it seems the cotton-flower
written by the oceans
began yawning

Volga – 4

to the homoeopathy phial
standing on the traffic-island
why it appears
within her womb
the number of germinated nights
stolen without a kiss
is too little

is then it true
if all the chanting of Harinam
can’t be withdrawn from the alcohol
the body-odour of the running tamarisk-shrub  
will enter into the circuit-house

and that devouring of the parchment
brings to the feelings of the non-veg ant-hills
the let’s-go-cure
gathering in the sauce-island

Volga - 5

coming to this ironed canal-side
every auto-rickshaw  
wants to know and let other know
the mystery
behind  the rice-rain
from the cirrus                                                

the shame in the eyes of the seal containing signs
supplies the whole-sale dealership
of the civil disobedience movement
to the locality

the role of the hammer also
wakes up early in the morning
to put under its own tongue
an antacid

is it possible that the spits
used in the observatory
be made a little more fast-moving

manuscript of the basement of a well

the biography of the pond-heron will be scripted
even-then the productivity of the merry-go-round
wouldn’t be uttered for a moment
no sir, such has never been expected

in the liquefied banana-blossoms
too many hot breads resulted from the season-change
continues to bat  vehemently  
and climbs to the peak of heart-throbbing runs

they in a group will go to the
aqua anetha of the mole hill
to organise a folk-song

to understand this
no arbitration of the cactus is required

notwithstanding
it is heard that the thread was pulled
by the violin of  the wife of the moon-god
from behind the screen

here in the eye-front
is the basement of the morning-well

on its one page lies the faulty  crow-caws
and on another some sun-shines
swinging on the hanger
after some pages in recurring …the chicken-pox … the boot-polish …

within the two covers of the dance-drama
also comes the creepers and herbs
grown around the melting point
of the arm-chair
whose legs are broken

if each pore on the skin of the river-lily
becomes so much known
then in the background of this low land

let us have one game more
There you are, boy, all apatter with
‘Whats the matters’ and those rainy eyes that
look out but don’t want to be looked into
for too long, drier now, memorising cracks.
Forget those useless stomach-drops you feel
you ought to feel, stand taller, be prouder.
Say goodbye to your knees from me, closer
then, the map of falls that took the gravel
with the breeze that were vision’s blinker-walls.
Thank you for the memories you put away
for rainy days, my repository, the
treasure trove of touchstones you didn’t skim.
Every tear and every maple seed you threw:
I still want to make sense of it all for you.
Mateuš Conrad Mar 2017
i actually blame the outbreak of dementia in western society as sourced within a fat-free diet... you need to ingest fat! for ****'s sake! the brain is primarily fat! how can you just simply overdose on sugars?! sugar is like crack-******* compared to more complex sugars, i.e. carbohydrates! how can you do this to your own people?! smalec / lard... with pork trimmings and garlic (czosnek / ch)... how can western society "think" it has the upper-hand in the argument, when it pushes out fat-free yogurt?! the brain needs fat, it's fat... you need to ingest fat! point is: people in the west don't know how rare dementia is in "eastern" europe... avocado on toast? what's the problem with you? it's supposed to be guacamole! or at least eaten with a trickle of lemon juice with spicy food! retards... retards! you need to ingest fat... giving your body too much sugar makes you: either fat... or absolutely dumb... demented... dementia... eh, see the correlation? you need to ingest fat, simple as: your brain isn't a muscle, the argument: oh, we need to flex our cognitive muscle... what the **** is this? what sort of argument is this?! it's fat, it's probably once fat, twice jelly... in a city of about 60 thousand i've known only one example of alzheimer's... my auntie... sure, it's a dementia epidemic: because you're draining all the fat out of the foods that should have it!!! fat feeds the brain, since the brain is primarily fat... ****** dodo started speaking: woah abouh the omega-3 arguments? dunno... you catch the sardines and the mackerels. dunno(h)... i once knew this ****** that spent his days ripping newspapers... he could rip a newspaper better than i could cut it up with a pair of scissors... you know the scottish patent? you fold a piece of paper, lick the edge, then you fold it in the opposite fold, and lick the edge once more... and then the paper tears away as smoothly as melting butter on a hot piece of toast... but this ****** could tear pieces of newspaper in one smooth stroke... apparently typing these "offensive" words in a country of inbreds is "offensive"... i think i'll just call her: katherine die neu blut middleton... hardly a mary, but the blood matters, nonetheless.

8 6 9 4 1 7 3 2 5
5 3 *4
8 2 6 7 1 9
1 2 7 5 3 9 8 4 6
6 1 8 9 4 5 2 7 3
7 4 3 2 6 1 9 5 8
2 9 5 3 7 8 1 6 4
4 7 2 6 8 3 5 9 1
9 8 6 1 5 2 4 3 7
3 5 1 7 9 4 6 8 2

                              no. 8930
                                                      perhap­s i could have
done a more difficult puzzle, but then i was
relaxing, drinking ***...
             i made two mistakes...
as indicated, the first one in italics 4
  and the second in bold 1, which i implanted
as 9...
         even though a 9 was already in the sequence...
to correct myself i had to write out
the alphabet... even though i'm really terrible
at memorising the alphabet (hence i'm
a vocab millionaire),
                so to revise looking at 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9
i had to write the letters out...
thinking: imagine su doku using neun briefe,
like so:
(a) b (c) d (e) f (g) h (î) j (k) l (m) n (o) p (q) | r s t u v
                                                               ­           w       |x y z|
i'm terrible at remembering the alphabet sequence,
     the cut-off point comes along like this, in sing-along:
a b c d e f g, h i j, k, l m n en oh p... q r s; t u v...
                             blah....
but i thought: i'd love to write a letter imbued su doku...
just for the kicks...
thankfully, having written the alphabet out
                i managed to salvage and complete
the puzzle...
                                    *** and tunnel vision?
more like double vision;
                            and two cats distracting me,
                               pretending to fall asleep like a pair
of pensioners, sitting down.
Janette Aug 2012
Where desire is an endless distance...




'He sleeps...I steal his brush,
Dip it red and wet,
Painting on his chest;
A mosaic of Love
My heart's mirror;
I carry him
Beneath my breast,
His Love
The first and last
Of my awakening heart'...




Writing him...


It was the softness of his hand
That held my breath against my will
Nestling in the curve of my arm;
My heart fluttered in his warm smile
As the mocha of his sight drenched me...


Smiles echoed on the canvas
Of tomorrows, suspended in each
Syllable that flowed like manna from heaven;
My fingers abandoned their hesitancy
Outlining his face,
Memorising...


I faltered;
Breathing in the shimmer of what is real;
His smile whispered a promise,
As his voice echoed my own
In an unwritten poem...




Poetry...


Lily white, she wakes near the night river,
The red mantra of Summer's rain, opens
The rose to shadow;
Cradled in awakened smiles,
The touch of twilight intoxicates visions of fairy-tales,
Like somber hues of unbuttoned fragments...



Heartbeats,
Soaked to the hollow of *******,
Tucked in the deep comas of the lotus moon;
Her silver light,
Seamless,
Dreaming silks and milk tender...



A whispered name...
Hands steeped in honey,
Moving slowly through deep-red,
Echoes of dream;
Stillness,
Swallowed,
As hours burn pale candles,
Frozen eternal in spangles and lace...



Her wings wrap his pain in song;
Feather light,
A kiss of sweet enchantment,
Beyond the delicate tick-tock
Of destiny's hourglass;
A verse vertigo
Set free by the bleeding of her pen...




Reflections.....

This soft everlasting kiss
Nourishes the weeping within,
Showering each cold-shadow with warmth;
He sings in my skin,
Where we go in midnight's colours
My body, a pebble on his mountains;
Immersed in an endless sky;
Miracles flourish
Embraced in our endless beginnings.........
chrissy c a Aug 2015
I still remember the first time I ever met you,
I still remember where we were,
I still remember we were right beside each other,
I still remember the way you talked,
I still remember your first girlfriend and the way you used to be around her,
I still remember wishing it was me and not her.
I still remember our inside jokes, and how bad they were,
I still remember the first night we spoke on the phone,
I still remember telling myself to get it together,
I still remember how close we got, 3 years later.
I still remember your sense of humour, and your love to make everyone around you happy,
I still remember how quiet you can get whilst you were thinking,
I still remember the first time we hugged, and how awkward it was,
I still remember the time you came to the airport to say goodbye,
I still remember you telling me how you felt about me, a year later,
I still remember getting annoyed because our times didn’t work together,
I still remember that night that you asked me to be your girlfriend,
I still remember the goosebumps that I felt when I said yes,
I still remember the excitement I feel whenever I get a text,
I still remember the frustrations we felt as the seas put our love to the test,
I still remember the disbelief I felt as I finally flew back and I saw you again,
I still remember the first time you held my hand,
I still remember my fingers memorising your face,
I still remember how you made me feel,
I still remember the way you kissed my shoulders,
I still remember the way you loved me,
I still remember your friends telling me how I made you feel,
I still remember how they told me you were always missing me,
I still remember the way your eyes looked as they stared at me,
I still remember how that made me feel,
I still remember how I cried as I looked at your picture in the plane, the second time we said goodbye
I still remember how our love died, as time passed
I still remember the way our calls got shorter
I still remember how your reasons got longer
I still remember crying over you, no longer of joy, but of pain
I still remember asking the Lord, what is there left to gain
I still remember you giving up,
I still remember my heart breaking,
I still remember demanding you, is this all what you’ve got?
I still remember the last time we said goodbye.
I still remember the nights that made me cry,
I still remember writing it all down as my emotions died,
I still remember all of this a year later,
I still remember how in love our love made me feel.
I still remember how I wished those heartaches were never real.
11 | 31 Poems for August 2017

For some odd reason, I am still sitting here in my bedroom writing about you.
Your heartbeat reminds me of the timeless tune of my favourite melody.
Loving you is like looking at a shattered mirror, and clearly seeing every bit of the broken reflection.
The wind said something about you today, something that blew me away.
I cannot remember any of the words though because I was too busy thinking about you.
I’ve been thinking about you because every part of your existence is beautiful.
Your hazel-brown eyes are a beautiful reminder that God will not forget to look for me whenever I feel lost in the world.
I have spent countless hours memorising the curves of your smile and the lines on your skin.
Including the happiness and joy in the sound of your voice and all the beauty that lies within.
For some odd reason, I am still sitting here in my bedroom writing about you.
How do I write something so beautiful that’s bound to blow you away without having it sound like another poetic cliché?
Loving you is like looking at a shattered mirror, and clearly seeing every bit of my broken reflection.
My words will continue embracing all that I have discovered in myself because of you.
Within your sporadic bursts of laughter, I always find the freedom I had lost.
I will continue writing about you in ink, so that my notepad can finally feel the permanence of your presence in my poetry.
The spaces between my words will always be your place of refuge.
My poetry will continue writing about all that I have discovered in myself because of you.
I will continue to sit here in my bedroom and effortlessly write about you.
The world may read the pages of my soul, but my poetry will always belong to you.
xpzlol Sep 2018
i bear the cross of faith
tied down to the angels of
Heaven.
He listens to my praises
like the whisper of windchimes.
a tickling of silver tongues.

in the trying times
He burns in my head
a fireball of glory
a lavish thought in my brain.
He instills fear
He instills pride.

we read the words from His Grace
memorising the holy scripture
pretending like we understand Him
pretending like He
understands us.
the loss of faith is lost upon all.

and so as i sing these monotonous
phrases of glory
inside the church of alabaster
i ask of Him a delirious question
and he would answer deliriously.
a consciousness of oneself.

and as i feel my feet on the floor
the gold tiles freezing my soles
i bring into His Grace
a sinner
i ask myself
i reside in a golden cathedral.

i bear the cross of faith
Prathipa Nair Jun 2016
Bullock carts moving forward
With the music of jingling bells
Women walking like a peahen
Balancing mud pots of water
On their head with a band
Women churning butter from
Milk with the churning rod
Men with their spades to fields
Ready for the ploughing
Boys,with their tool, catapult
Aiming at the juicy mangoes
Little girls running with laughter
To the call of a bangle-seller
Old men sitting in the verandah
Memorising their days of youth
Fruit selling woman calling out loud
Bananas,Apples,Mangoes
Smoke from the chimneys
Like an engine of a train
Red chillies, turmeric and coriander
Spread on sheets in the sunlight
Goats and calves crying out in
Search of their pet homes
Village full of greenery with
Gulmohars, Banyan and Neem
Busy with their daily duties
Happy with no disappointments
The villagers of olden days !
it was the city we talked about in those long nights when we had nothing to say, lying in your bed and memorising the way the dark painted shadows across our cheekbones and jaws. melbourne, you would whisper.
a city far away and cultured and quaint and brimming with old buildings and trams and coffee houses and american things like seven-elevens and starbucks.
it was different being there with you. much more different being there without you.
friday 18th july '14 ~  i went to melbourne wens-day/thursday for lorde's concert ~ it was special and magical and front row was incredible ~ had my first drink from starbucks (caramel frappuccino whipped cream no coffee)
Patricia Drake Mar 2013
when
did cooking your own jam
from real strawberries
and sugar
become an act
of treason against
equality
between the sexes?

when
did turning off the tv, the laptop, the phone
to play with your children
offline
become an act
of valour and extreme
symbolism
in most families?

when
did reading glossy advertisements
and memorising them
for extra credits
become an act
of duty as a proper
citizen
in the modern world?

when
did choosing an alternative lifestyle
deliberately
and with no concern for wealth
become an act
of excentric
irresponsibility
in an enlightened society?
Riya May 2016

I'll take shelter in my memories of a fool.
Because nothing hits me harder then the
Emotions when I see you.

You left me broken and ashamed
Nothing left but picture frames
All I know is that I lost the best part of me
When you left me hanging.

I took shelter in the deepest part of my brain.
Remembered how you were before you changed.
You used to smile.
The kind that would light up the whole room.
Now you do nothing but stand in the corner and brood.

I found shelter in a cramped up space.
Stuffed and overflowing with nothing but memories of us at your place.
Do you remember the day we just sat and talked?
Sitting under the grooves of the wall,
Tracing, memorising every little detail
Lord knows I still go over everything
Replaying it over and over again.

If I could do it all over
I know I'd do it differently.
I wouldn't have let you walk out the door
Even if my life depended on it.
I wouldn't have let you crawl into that dark room in your head
You know the one where it makes you afraid,
Afraid that everything is your doing,
That its your fault we're losing.
Guy Random Nov 2010
She’s the end but still not the aim;
All the paths lead to her, may be with different stops;
Though she is unstoppable, will come and is inevitable;
Colours of life draw us away from the truth, diverging our thoughts;

The god of death! Unwelcomed, in spite of being god;
Worshiped! but, prayers are request to delay his arrival!!;
Life and death differ, being known and unknown experience;
As we love life why not to love death?;

Death alone makes person alone, exploring the unknowns;
Death alone ends the curiosity of her being unknown;
Is she the end, and all the worldly secrets would be revealed?;
Or is it an invitation to another world, which then to other?

Spells on her perceivers, realise it her arrival, stopping it on the last stop;
Some worship, some do good, a few remain same 'ignoring it';
Bribing god, trying to avoid painful end, a few 'challenging it';
Other few confident from outside, inside hoping little bad to be overlooked;

People memorising their past, impart their suggestions;
"No point doing this, at this point you will feel all unworthy" says olds;
"We command the whole world, he is commanding us" feel young;
A few analyse correctly and shrink their sack of mistakes;

She treats equally, every living thing, over social discrimination;
Forgetting the end, gathering luxuries, she will apart them!;
Time will make us soil, mortality is thing we will experience;
Our ideas, deeds if useful enough, will be used and remembered;
(c) goyal.madhav@gmail.com
Hiee,
these are my views about mortal law of nature.
All your views are welcomed, and i will love to discuss about them.
You are also welcomed on blogs.
http://deaththeend.blogspot.com/
Take Care
Mateuš Conrad May 2016
it's quiet hard to find a welcoming book, i can cite two read in one sitting, thus spoke Zarathusrta (the original intent) and the soft machine by burroughs... all others came with many composed sittings... but none of the repeated encounters can be spoken of so favourably as Bertrand Russell's history of western philosophy, with that book came the kindest summer - in that i find historians the prefects of philosophy, the Republic guardians, leave the poets to do their sing-along, and furthered abstracts of symbols (should they wish, and ought), give presence to historians like Russell and Tatarkiewicz (surname derived as descended from Tartar auxiliary at the battle of Tannenberg with two naked swords dipped into ****** soil awaiting blood by a Lithuanian king married to a Polish gal).

sometimes poems can be more memorable than entire
books, there memorableness technique used in
epics gets lost most of the time,
writers' custard narrative awaiting a memorable
spontaneity is always missing, a memorable quote
needs to be bookmarked, it's hardly remembered,
all that talk of etiquette, esp. 19th century is always
the fog in novel, Mr. Darcy and his twin
Mr. Rochester, both haunted -
the former by social structures (prejudice;
his wife to be by lower caste governed by pride)
while the latter by a madwoman in the attic -
there's nothing memorable about these novels
in mono assertions, unless you have a book-club or
a cinematic script and a movie... poems are more
memorable, naturally, even if you're unable to recite
them because you rather recite the list of ingredients
for a bonkers curry, someone else will recite you a
poem, no problem. i guess that's because memorising
poetry is afforded by rhymes, the crude musicology
if given an instrument, would be to pluck
two same notes, ugly with a guitar, beautiful with
the tongue.
no, novels are not memorable, ask blind Samson about
the pillars he absorbed with his strength and pulled
down... ask him...
or... or i can tell you a little secret, it's a secret concerning
Sylvia Plath's *bell jar
... page 119 in my edition (Faber & Faber),
slight digression: a page later she's complaining in
a "fictive" personality about the ineffectiveness of sleeping
pills... she has been apparently given max'      imum
strength pills... dear Sylvia,
                                        against your doctor's orders,
          against all pharmaceutical orthodoxy,
sleeping pills are best effective with alcohol,
even though the tagline is to avoid mixing the two...
i can't specify the quantity of alcohol in milligrams
akin to the dosage of the pills, dear Sylvia, they're only
effective with the liquid sedative, and perhaps a painkiller
like paracetamol...
nonetheless on page 119 she's citing a book you will
probably not read, and neither did she (explanation
a bit later)... she cites the first page of J. Joyce's
Finnegans Wake...
                 riverrun past Eve and Adam's...
and that ONE-HUNDRED LETTERED word:

  ba'ba'ba'dal'gharagh'takamminanarronk'onn'bronntonner'r­onn'tuonn'thunn'trovarr'houna'wnska'wntooh'oohoo'rdenen'thurnuk!­

i tried the syllable scalpel to my best ability for breath,
this grand anti-onomatopoeia, cut for brief pause...
but she didn't read any further like Delmore Schwartz
trying to sell this **** Grææ tongue...
she didn't read on, because there's another century in this
book:

(i left a bookmark on the page (no. 23) - a painting by
Diego Velázquez, the toilet of Venus 122.5 by 177 centimetres)

with loss of breath and entry of the centipede as follows

perkodhuskurunbarggruauyagokgorlayorgromgremmitghundhur­thrumathunnaradidillifaititillibumullunukkunun!

but i must i don't have the ratio, since i didn't bother counting
either words, but Sylvia did, and if she counted the first word
as a century, this second word must also be a century -
yet on suspicion should i believe she read further, or didn't?
they claimed the book to be a Babylonian Tower
readying for dispersions of the people, yet with historical
events it's a joke, given that there are no diacritical marks
in the book to provide stresses of accents:
e.g. fumatul poate să ucidă (romanian for: do not smoke
cigarettes, yes, there's a black market for cigarettes,
THANK GOD!) - and with saying that, it is not a book
with a Babylonian Tower attached to it, it's a tower for sure,
but a Globalisation Tower, how english became the
Lingua Levant once more, when the Franks had their
puppet king of Jerusalem at the time of Saladin.
Mateuš Conrad Mar 2016
feminism is sexist in that it does not really acknowledge the house-husband, the aesthetic of work has changed, we don't need people to work like mules with a scythe in the wheat fields, we have tractors and combines, and yet there's no respectability for the house-husband, unlike the once famous role of the housewife - and yes, the aesthetic of work has changed, more trades have become mechanised and i agree that she should be out there making things look more and more pretty... but alas, seeking the role of being a house-husband reduces you to alcoholism... but hey, i'm cool with that - so after all the major wars have been fought, world war iii would never take place, nor the fears of the cold war ripening even to a lukewarm temperature, we sided with the war of the sexes... and it turns out, given our perfected system of reproduction that means we'll never become extinct, it just takes two guys and a surrogate mother to live on - because the classical fancy became exhausted by keeping the memory of Shakespeare for too long, reducing him to an educational tool, rather than a breath of inspiration.*

unavailable for the past few days,
sorting out poems,
having to go to the local shops
to buy apple cider and beer for
the fudge sauce for the streak steaks
and chips and asparagus;
it's hard to criticise christianity these
days without falling into a
cliché of nietzsche - so it's easier
to fall into the other famous cliché of his:
who the hell put woman in the kitchen?
she can't cook! ain't that something,
i do miss the mist of vapour and
the thickening of a sauce that asks for
two cups of ketchup... that's not going
to work, maximum 2 tablespoons, pushing 3,
and yes and no: 1 teaspoon of sugar (1/4 cup of sugar),
1 cup of apple cider (1/2 a cup of apple cider),
1 cup of beer (3/4 cup of beer),
1 tablespoon of yellow mustard - perhaps a bit
of mustard powder too,
2 tablespoons of lemon juice,
1 tablespoon of Worcestershire sauce,
1 tablespoon of cayenne pepper,
1 tablespoon of paprika,
butter onion oil garlic... so the bracket quantities were
in the original, the ketchup is still up for
a parliamentary debate -
after all, smoking cigarettes does makes your
palette more sensitive to the two viruses
that are stranded as too spicy & too salty, hey presto
grilled new york strip steak with beer,
cider and missing molasses - so now tell me,
why bother memorising poetry and eating in
restaurants, when you can just let poems be
and memorise a (hopefully) yummy recipe?
James Gable Jun 2016
Who on earth would stack books like sticks?

Who would sit turning white-paper-pages
With blackened fingertips?

You should know that awaiting fire is nothing of a joke
Have you not heard of witches
on fiery trial, spitting curses
That just tightened the rope

And did you know
That the pages
Of every history book ever written
Once went up
In ancient whispers of smoke?

Every manuscript
Chronicling man’s unscripted
Fighting progression
It was
reduced to ash?

So we wrote it all again…
The Romans, messy, careless
And surely barbarians
We’ll adopt them as our
Ancient parents
Invaders of course,
Progressions must not
Be stifled by sentiment or remorse
The druids and their hoods
They left them among the leaves
In the woods
Before that
Well
No one can prove us wrong
We’ll say that humans
Hunted similar races
That were
Uglier but strong
Defeat, even eating them
Of course
That which stands before you
In physical form
Surely it cannot be wrong
Our history,
As far as we know
Is a tale of endless glory,
Since they tell of victory
In every song

So we’d made a start
The scholars are desperate
To start memorising the dates
Of all the events
That we are still
Required to create
Keep the candles burning
This could go on rather late

The bridges of London
We’ll say were built by English men
And when some malevolent
Invaders burnt them down
We built them up again
We’re resolute by nature
Bordered on two sides
Our land it does not shrink
We have intimidation in our eyes

Well we have all these haunted castles
Shakespeare used them in his plays
Let’s say we were conquered
By Normans
Hand-fought battles went on for days

We should be modest and believable
So let’s say they conquered us, so what?
If our past shapes our future let’s show
The things we are and what we’re not

We’re are a thing that empires covet
Some have tried many times
Our ships with crews that never sleep
Their cannonball
trajectory does not fall
They fly in a straight line

A book that chronicled a fire great
Reducing our capital to a raven’s nest
Sadly it was lost, Pepys wrote so well,
So we’ve told Dickens to try his best

We recreate from memories of books
The pictures help as well
Medieval times were all heads on sticks
It resembled what we’ll call hell

Heaven, that’s where the noble live
Those that were so gallant and brave
falling in their tons on the battlefield
Winged skeletons rising from their remains

The bible, as you know, survived the fire
It continues to teach us and guide
Reminds us of the elasticity of time
And encourages a most conscientious mind

We made adjustments, here and there,
Lazarus rising for example, readers in mind
We couldn’t let that tragic scene end
Without him delivering his warning on time

We think of the greater good you see
For the good of you, and the good of me

The plague, bubonic, spreading like fire
Is a fiction covering something dark and twisted
I can’t begin to describe how as the death toll rose
Our king fled for Belgium as the demons persisted

The history of London is actually unknown!
Well you would moan, but what did you think?
The Thames is a man-made canal they froze themselves
when ice skate sales were on the brink

And bodies that fall in, still alive or dead
They scoop them up, make wigs and cut textiles
The ones still breathing are given the job of
Gathering the bones of the executed neatly arranging them in piles

Jack the Ripper, Member of Parliament I should say
Was in charge of cleaning up east London crime
His method was questionable, objections from
Speakers in parliament, but murders in a year went from 38 to 9

Henry, yes he was large, rotund, had his fun with women,
But each of his wives was ensnared by courtiers in cloaks
They were promised recompense, rewards that never materialised
When they killed him, each time, they picked a lookalike from the village folk

And I’m no historian, but why assume
That soldiers marched all the way from Rome
To what was of little value,
Cold, wet, a far cry from home

No evidence of course,
They just put themselves about
And there’s a good chance,
The Vikings came, you could see bridges,
Burning in their eyes, they arm-wrestled
Journeying on longboats of considerable size

King Charles II had an imagination alright,
Kept the wine flowing alright,
Enquiring minds and lips
Were busied gulping it all down
And kissing women who span madly around
Their cheeks
The colour of rose hips...

Who are these men that hold books under their arm
In such a way as a woman clutches a purse?

They arrive in endless streams conversing in their
Small groups, absent mindedly
Opening and closing books that are in
Different languages,

My turn to take five, look after this place,
I’ll be just out back, chewing my wife’s sandwiches.

I eavesdrop a little, a vice of mine,
Hear them talking about their jobs
On the factory line
Men and machines, men as machines
Or machines made by men, machines
That dream in factory nights,
Locked away and out of sight,
Quietest place you’ll find

But they’re restless,
I’ve seen the machines sigh
I’ve seen the steam that shoots out
As the whistle blows calling time,
They are restless machines and

—The whistle blows and
The machines are wandering home after
Getting blind drunk,
Dreaming…

In a few hours they will be woken
By a jangling set of keys that
Starts them up an hour or two early
So that they are fully operational
When the hungover workers arrive
Beating their chests and
Stretching their lever-pulling arms,
The machines grind their gears in protest,
Become confrontational,
Grinding the axe for a while now,
They’re all worked up, high pressure,
And yet no one takes notice
The steam flowing as promised
The men are ready in wait
A little release of steam
Machine’s are functioning well today


Factories like these run themselves
With their routine set in stone,
you can whine and moan and they will,
Mostly to their wives on the phone
During their allotted break,
You can come back early, but never late,

Echoing a cuckoo-clock world
Of perpetual motion, the machines
Dream of a life outside, they have heard
So much about irons and their boards,
And baths with plugs on a chain,
Manhole covers, oven doors and drains,

The machines do what they were made to do,
Workers too, this job chose them
For their durability, stocky build, the confusion and
absence of revolution in their eyes,
Life’s lustre hides in Friday’s pies,
Yawning men find it in the coffee
*** as it boils on Monday morning,
On Tuesday it will taste like soil again,

And on rare occasions, you’ll see it
When the sun comes through the
Highest window, and eventually,
On the right day, the right time,
it reflects and refracts,
The whole factory is scattered
With light artefacts, as if glass was
Raining down from the sky,
They take five, in celebration of
Their planet’s undiminished charms,
And though a bit longer to enjoy them
Wouldn’t do any harm
They are ordered to resume order
Belts and levers and rivets and arms
Must pull, a few more hours of life
Set to whistles and alarms

Creak! *There’s another dodgy floorboard!

How quaint, we’ve gone back in time,
I can’t reach the books...
*Shall we walk past the pond
On our way to the tailors?
A fine suit, perhaps we’ll
Also need a coat and a pair of shoes
maddi May 2016
I want someone to love me
like I'm the reason they exist
I want someone to spend hours
mapping and memorising
every inch of me
I want someone to ask me
about my deepest thoughts and desires
I want someone to know all my fears
and all my favourite things
I want someone to look at me
like my eyes are the sun
and my voice is the wind
and my anger is a storm
and my sadness is a
deep
deep
ocean
I want someone to lay with me
and run their hands through my hair
and be pained by how much they love me
I want to be loved so much that I feel it
wherever I go
I want to be loved so deeply
that on my darkest days and even darker nights
the love radiates out of me
and cocoons me in strength
and support
I want someone to love me so much
that they couldn't imagine a single second without me
I want someone to love me like I love them
I want someone to love me.
title not referencing the wonderful song by the 1975, though you should all give it a listen c:
sammybunnie Feb 2014
Touch me the way you touch books - lightly skimming your fingertips over the spine, opening the pages, gently leafing through them, using your fingers pointing to each word, and just memorising the way the parchment feels against your skin.

Hold me the way you do with an old fragile book, or a new book that you're afraid of damaging - gently holding the spine, afraid of opening me too wide and hurting me, taking in it's musky scent, and studying every word, committing it to memory.

But don't end me the way you do with books - putting it down gently, only picking it up to reread occasionally, and leaving it on the shelf to collect dust on it's cover.

Keep me by your side, like a diary, and write in me, telling me your truest feelings, terrified of losing me, for fear that others would uncover your darkest troubles.

Keep me by your side and always read me, read through your past entries, treasure me, and place all your trust in me - I'll never disappear, your memories, happiness, sorrow will always remain with me, and you will never have to worry about forgetting anything. You will always have me by your side.

But when the pages are filled up, don't stop - add in new pages, like you can with any diary. But I doubt I will ever be filled up because I've enough pages to last you a lifetime without any worries of me ending.
iridescent Jun 2015
Life's a blank canvas and the artist's sometimes not you, but those who once came into you.

Some have sparks so blinding you almost forget the charred mess they made; some have hands so warm you couldn't resist memorising every contours of their palms that you almost would make a replica of them; some leave lines so intricate yet untraceable you wonder if they were supposed to be maps that lead to somewhere.

Learn to draw on your own and draw for your own. Paint all that is intangible and paint all that you that you could hold. Remember that no one could love you better than you do.
Realeboga M Sep 2015
Laying underneath the ***** brown tree I pause.
I hold on to my beating heart and look at you.
Memorising your features from your almond eyes,
To the freckles on your cheeks,
To the pearly whites of yours. 

A smile slowly forms as I feel the heart on my hands beat ferociously.
As I see the holes and cracks in it slowly close.
As I watch the darkness being overwhelmed by light.

I close my eyes just to heighten my senses.
To be able to hear your breathing.
Slow and steady breaths. 
Heart thumping with the rhythm of my own.
Talking in morse code.

I pull my arms out and open my eyes.
I look at the red, muscular object.
Beating hard.
I sigh and look at you.
Almond eyes watery.

"This is my heart, it's not much but this is it. 
You're probably wondering how I'm able to breathe but as long as my heart beats in rhythm and harmony with yours, I'm alright"
I don't know what it is but she makes me happy. Makes me want to give her my entire heart
Prathipa Nair Feb 2017
Memorising her childhood days,vacations,grand parents
Grandmother with eyes on road waiting the arrival of her grandchildren
Woke her up the horn of cars getting into the courtyard
Eyes filled with tears of happiness seeing her family
Running towards expecting a grand hug
Busy in their world of technology desisted unnoticed
Grandmother's priceless valuable love for them
Seconds,minutes,hours,days bygone
House filled with members of her family
Where she alone with nothingness of love
Abandoned in a corner with a heavy heart
Mateuš Conrad Jun 2016
i mean, i'd love to have an English girlfriend... if she could cook.*

elitism? no, hardly, it's because you're
not someone walking past a beehive
dressed in flowers, doesn't mean anything,
it's not elitist, although poetry naturally
became a snobbish artefact drifting
among easily recyclable material of fond
farewells and petitions to vote and whatnot.

me? i quiet like the gay bitchiness of
Frank O'Hara's poem about the health of
Ginsberg - i imagine all those performers,
the umbilical cord cut from their essence,
having to entertain, repeat, entertain,
repeat, memorising their works
for a rapping cascade, mm yeah, mm, yo,
mm, yeah, *******, mm, yeah, in da'h 'ood,
mm, yeah... i can't forgive them,
they entertain and pulverise their one
potent act, then repeat, Stockholm (repeat),
Paris (repeat), Berlin (repeat), New York (repeat),
to affirm yourself like plagiarising
puppets - it must be horrid - to have
a plughole in you, in you that you require
to block - art becomes more like boxing,
dodging punches of the new, comfortably
sofa, artistry pre-readied to entertain,
no stumbling blocks of a **** poem,
just the continual revival of the true one,
the only one - lost themes of conversation,
no conversation at all, poetry lost to
Spartacus addressing the feeble minded
but eager in heart to ride an elephant for
Hannibal - Aesop biting his nails rather than
cutting them - long live the memory of
a few odds and black sheep -
Frank being ****** - mentions
Auschwitz symphony no. 1 a# of Adolph
Deutsche in that poem *fantasy
-
hey, my pride is on the line, every show i turn
on, after Pope John Paul the 2nd became a
traitor i hear of Eastern European ******
everywhere - by god i too like to ****,
but ******* became a 110m sprint with
scaffold to jump across - prostitutes eased
the problems, no rabbit chase -
i ****** then played Monopoly to ease the flirting
mechanism - categorising man as mammal
breeds man categorising himself elsewhere,
a woman: mantis, a woman: black widow...
once you start categorising yourself as a mammal
and then build a telescope or shove a satellite
into orbit you'll be slightly confusing -
so what's what?
i just bypassed the printing press, nullified editors
and publishers, no one could experience such
freedoms in the 20th century, there's no question
of profit, it's... A MAY ZING...
it's a multiple ****** just now... who gives
a rotten egg's worth of omelette these days?
you see what's getting printed? you've seen the ****?
it's not even worth the softness of toilet paper,
i'm not surprised it's written like a tonne of lard's
worth off heaviness, there's no sprint technique
in the writing, it's a marathon of procrastinating...
a volume concoction of ADHD uno having a trip
flicking a lampshade switch on / off / on / off / on / off
for a month or a week... a real page turner...
well, that's that... sarcasm is dry gin and tonic
with the humours... self-indulgent, but i like that...
i'm just waiting for the trained monkey
to read me the encyclopaedia while cartwheeling...
so if you hiccup that saying: all eastern european
girls became ****** once the iron curtain was lifted,
you're probably right... and being a castrated ****
more or less i'm getting the giggles...
like that time watching a Dutch boyfriend spitting
in his Polish girlfriend's face...
well... if these girls are ******... western men
are *******... leech kiss my entry with this point,
leech kiss more clingy that Judas' -
wankers wankers... wankers.
Mateuš Conrad Nov 2015
overly theorising poetry can only allow university profs. specialising in the subject the mid-grammar eloquence of philosophical narrative endeavour the um-um-um-ah-ah-mm-mm-blah-blah in trying to elaborate or simply clarify... as it stands... i'm using roman lettering... but i'm writing in chinese in order that many more can live and claim the sire totality of entitlements via lost marxism and the endowment of 3.4 children being nailed rather than ******* into the tangle of seaweed comparisons along the beach of socio-economic paraphrase - i can write english... and you can pretend to be stupid... believe me... i can play this hide & seek until our death dies when we live a second time and forget that i wrote this and you read it; we'll hide ourselves in the blanks, and the hope that remains is: we won't despair over having our memory wiped out like robots unnecessarily memorising the digits of π after 3; how i rather till the field at late summer than till my thoughts into numbers for the sunshine of i.q. glee in parental authority gratified and applauded to simply turn me into a white tadpole of rosy cheeks chequered between success and failure of strangers' expectation levitated into the ******* familial model that's ready for the jaws and clumsy fingers of scientific failures known as statisticians... the journalists of the world of science with numerological headlines that call you - also included.*

sometimes theologising with israel
is like standing next to the brimstone
caste of the golden calf
trying to resurface with people
not used to cast statued embodiments
of pharaohs in stone among hindu
endowments of number & sustenance...
but so it goes...
palestinians come as fleshy shields
for egyptians not having moved an inch since
the crucifixion...
elongating the nile higher than the crumbling
everest of buddha attempting border
and horizon of the dali lama's exile
not extended to los angeles in quest...
if only all nations stood the mark of colorado
of easiest divide in linchpin park of stuttering piston remark...
no i didn't decide to escape through there...
i took the friend's groomed necessity of remorse
to keep him sane...
i grew his remorse and my once loved love
to be his kin... his kind...
i grew his remorse like a vegetable
into a success of career and familial reliefs...
i grew him into a son
into that he might feel remorse being fed
responsibility of the life i could have also lived,
and her too... into a lived i could have lived with her...
and they germinated... into germany...
and i solidified my etymology via logical coupling
with epistemology and eugenics that was without
logic except darwin who was not the only
person to logistic time, timing and timings...
and there it was left... a poem...
a scratch of nebuchadnezzar on the wall
prior to the fear seen by balthazar...
the fear of seven years of madness:
the judea slaves could see the pythagoras a-tip
the pyramids...
but salvage the mind of civilisations
to upkeep prophecy with the foolish
gardens of upside-down, encrusting the king's
skin with oaken bark creases in human age
known as wrinkling or turtle... to see sense of mind
dribbling senses in equations of 1/5 and 5/1
given correlations for the messiah to be sacrificed
and ordaining the comfort of prayer on the crux,
rather than the discomfort of prayer through
work and the thing ordained prayer - on a throne
to our wonder of not having looked
eagerly for the knee to bend beside the algebra of
90º and a, b, c... but instead provoked the anger
of cloning narcissus in mirrors and wax of the idols?
why are you praying over suffering - are you praying
for more suffering, or a quick end?
are you praying for more suffering or your liberation
through the choices of others?
i cannot deny that you took your choices like you
picked up chopsticks... and decided you life
was a free chicken chow mein...
if it was... i can see the bums regurgitate raw cement
into your eyes... and if it wasn't...
i can see you partake in gang rapes of the pensioners' purses
driving them to suicide...
i can then remedy my "name & shame" poetry...
excusing it all as... "capturing the moment,"
given the early stressor signalisation of traffic
past 20, 21, 22... beginning with only the second decade,
of the 21st century.
Mateuš Conrad May 2016
it became such a mess, such a spontaneous persistence to change the subject and involve too many, that it just had to be cut up into four sections.

i

it really wasn't enough to create diacritical distinctions
for the letters of the Latin men,
Christianity had to come along too,
a mixture of what Russell described as
Platonic and Neoplatonic populism, derivatives
of Judaism and the cults of the near east,
notably Orphism - as a way to pacify i guess,
the ardent spirits into submission -
the only success story being in Scandinavia;
but it wasn't enough to introduce diacritical marks
to the Latin alphabet so that barbarians could retain
their uniqueness of tongued-stress,
so too the emergence of the linguistic topsy turvy alphabet,
like the upside down omega - a natural born congestion
of the educated class, they weren't satisfied with memorising
the alphabetical atoms as the specified sounds,
even when given revisions of c (ć), n (ń), s (ś), z (ź) -
this second revision of the alphabet like ˌɒnəˌmætəˈpiːə,  
or the trans-atlantic version:
on-u
h-mat-uh-***-uh, ‐mah-tuh* -
and already i can see the tetragrammaton working
intricacies in this pronunciation - italicised,
but barely pronounced, or in Essex: 'it's 'appening'.

ii

indeed the aesthetics of excess, orthographic,
the alter: in polish u and ó - same sound - knock knock,
the latter ruled as prettier in certain spellings
than the other, a bit like fashion, a blue turtle-neck
sweater with a long purple skirt - or some other
dalton misunderstanding: translated into greek it's
the same with ε (epsilon) and η (eta), depends which
looks prettier, but why are there rules concerning
what's correct? none, of course one looks aesthetically
pleasing, but why bother schooling children in
rigid aesthetics, even joke about it on news channels
when both are correct, you end up saying the intended
sound: i can accept the handwritten argument,
namely which letter best suited compounding letters
into a smooth connectivity, but in this digitalised
world, my hand writing was already based on the
principle of typing rather than handwriting, i.e.
no letter was joined up in a word, all of them looked
like this, i guess that's why 'αδης spelling wins
given that you'd connect the longer leg of η to the tail
of the ς, which is where the french ç (s) in the word
garçon comes from, the greek sigma (used only
at the end of words); never in school where we taught
french in units, these distinctions were never explained
to us, they fed us the language like turkeys, entire words,
not explaining the distinctions of units, hence my tongue
broke and never learnt anything.

iii

Hades, the sole greek god who had no temple:
as with the vastness of the universe -
that great dawn of thought in man,
and subsequent ratty scutter, hardly the admirable
sloth of a centipede, out of panic first
man's religious organisation into ranks -
out of fear - where too the barbaric bewilderment
of the talk of soul - a breath in wintry conditions
seemed less bewildering concerning proving
unseen things - or writing, hearing unsaid things.

iv

you hear this from journalism, you hear it from
historians, enough time passes, and real events
became labelled: non-existent, famous people back
then end up labelled non-existent - esp. now given
the omni-literate populace, writing something these days
isn't as significant as it was with quills and papyrus.
i don't think it's as easy to outright deny something's
existence, the modern journalistic onslaught and
relentlessness over-feeding us world events
is hardly worth a history other than in itself, a day,
the journalistic onslaught and relentlessness,
it's history on αmφeτaμiνeς - so much passes through
the mouth of time, so much is recycled, regurgitated, lost,
forgotten, it's no longer that if enough time passes,
historical events become mythological events, that's
natural, that after enough history has been recorded,
lived, remembered - the Grand Logos (abstracted god)
enters and utilises the logic of changing history into
myth... hence it's logical to have myths, since there's
an applicable logic involved, when history becomes strained
by too much time, mythology enters, after all the
contemporaries die from a specific event, people are
prone to forgetfulness, as is natural and therefore require
mythology, to retain some memory of the event
or person - mythology isn't necessarily about denying
something's existence prior, it's the blood timespan,
too much time, history becomes mythology given a certain
number of centuries necessarily having to pass,
epochs - not centuries, epochs - enter the realm of aeons
and you enter astrological domain of the zodiac 12.
The warmth of your touch awakens my soul, the charm of your arms shook my inner self,my body aches to a language only you understand,

Im yearning for you as  you drive your hands all over every angle of my body a touch of intimacy

I crave for the taste of your lips in my mouth,  a desire that rushes with a full force inside me

You had me tighter than ever, your hands running through my hair as u softly whisper to my ear
I mumble, as i start speaking in tongues, I remember how much I miss your touch a touch of intimacy I remember how much I you

Sitting down memorising your words
thinking about our old days,  how young we were i miss you my old friend,
Jackie Mead Jun 2018
Walking
Talking
Chatting
Gossiping
Laughing
*******
Moaning
Capturing
Planning
Drinking
Eating
Living
Dreaming
Memorising
Love Monday evenings just me and the hubby, great start to the week
Daan Feb 2017
Occupied, busy, locking doors,
unwashed hairs, frizzy, always
calculating, almost all days,
memorising, dedicated hearts
mesmerising all possible counterparts.

He came outside today, smelled a flower,
finally left his tower, to play,
as long as his muscles stay fresh,
his flesh away from sour
tiredness, he'll find reasons,
methods to devour our beauty.

Processed, bland, in order,
safely divided, a border,
statistics, graphs and charts,
his mind parts all he wants to know
from where he feels he wants to go.
There is no winning or losing in this situation. He'll live the life he's meant to live until he stops believing that's how it works. No one knows what happens when it doesn't.
McKenna Carrig Jan 2015
letters were created so humans can communicate, so a person knows exactly what another person is feeling. There are 26 letters in the english alphabet. I've been trying for days, but I cannot arrange those letters in a way that explains how I feel about you. there are endless possibilities but I'm at a loss for words. a lot of people would say it's love. even more would say it's lust, but I don't want you to touch me. I don't want to spend time memorising the way your eyes constantly shift from mine to hers. I don't want to think about your arm around her waist every single night before you fall asleep. I don't want to love. I don't want to hurt. I don't want to be so wrapped up in you, I forget you're already wrapped up in her. I get so high at the thought of holding your hand, but remembering your hand belongs to her is the quickest way to sink.
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2016
Hello Matthew,
Sorry I missed your visit the other day; I was obviously teaching and the office staff couldn't locate me.
It is encouraging to see I am now dealing with a published writer who will hopefully tell me what the book title is without my need for research.
Glad to see you have remembered that punctuation is a linguistic colonialist, for wNt of s better term.
I picked up your books yesterday and immediately gave one copy each to two year 13 students with the simple instruction to 'read this.'
The one you kindly inscribed I have taken home and intend to read over the October half term.
How's everything going?
Mr Bunce (or to use my colloquial Glaswegian first term, Tam)
Sent from my iPhone*


Hello Thomas,

no apologies necessary, it's well understood that a teacher is always untouchable when it comes providing an aqueduct of intellectual assimilation peppered with acquisition and relative hope for pedantic (missing the plural).

The apologies are all mine, I spent the week at the Cheltenham like ****** pusher, evidently not everyone is hooked on on poetry; but I did find the deviant art form that's known as "spoken word" a blast, i dare stand-up comedy to compare itself to the antics so hushed by society.

The part where you say: dealing with a published author... well, authored: but via my own expenses. Entitlements of the book being titled so? i was trying to remember how anyone gives up a good portion of their memory to remember something like the atom R               without the English softening, without the French harking up phlegm, and the age old Victorian trill            of the rolling Baskervilles... i tried to attire Grecian optics in how every child expands his capacity for memorising language on the basin of up-keeping and use: via the need to abolish hyphenated compound words, and against dyslexia that turn English into a complexity that's German, remnants of it remaining true with e.g. hydrocarbon, or chemists punctuating: or averting from the hyphenated ease: as truth goes: chemistry in English is a standard Saxon German. A lesson in finding enough eyes in a single tongue that might make me forcefully distinguish an N that's a V that's actually ν (nu), sharpened, and υ (a              u that's capital y that's less sharpened than nu that's Y that's upsilon - and that's lowercase gamma)... I hope some form of a kaleidoscope might be revealed with this revision of Copernican East on the moon.

I have more copies you can distribute, walking from that netherworld that's bound to be tamed with the name of Romford into the A406 region.

I hope you might find the inscribed opinion kindred to your own, its authenticity is based on how serious poetry is taken in the East, the western world has solidified itself in proclaiming poetry with rap, in turn poetry has become less rhapsodic, but that aside, I hope you enjoy the end-product, it's only a snippet of my work, evidently by the fact stated, I have more.

Everything is as everything should be. My 3 years in Scotland were a dream I wish I never woke from; I could not have wished for a more welcoming convent of lessened religious ridiculousness among people: churches turned into nightclubs and chandelier shops? Well, that's the bright-sprung reality of the Scotland I remember, and from what the journalists provide, it seems the story has just begun in terms of a youthful invigoration demanding a voice: yes, away from the infamous deep-fried Mars bar. I still remember that self-deprecating joke you made about how copper wire was invented: two Scots arguing over a penny (pulling it apart).

Well, if I over-economised my reply I apologise, otherwise I hope I can enshrine your legacy further, with the motto: don't teach them grammar (the subconscious)... teach them language, or what's lessened arithmetic rubric concern, and more: authenticity - a variant word for familiarity and a tattooing on one's locality as primarily organic: given the inorganic trend of globalisation. Can I offend with an informality? I will anyway: sounds like a ****** manifesto - in the end all I wanted to reply with was: thank you.

Well, thank you, for teaching me English without necessitating a concern for a grammar consciousness / an awareness of grammar: public school ponces can have their Eton mess funfairs: language is pure, pristine, palpable, and we're allowed our own interpretation of grammar, even Nietzsche said: we only believe in god as long as we believe in grammar... as said, I can provide more copies of the book, I'm duly counting the numbers in terms of representation, given that the book is but a snippet of the Σ, I can gain as much as I have already lost, which in practical wording equates to nothing.

Kind regards, dearest Tammy (inexplicable innuendo to follow without the appropriated seasoning to match,
                            in this grand era of political hoo correct ha); or otherwise intended in the more formal
acquisition of familiars -
                                              thanks, Matthew.
Anon Aug 2016
At first
You meant nothing to me
You were just another one
Another blonde hair, blue eyes
In the back of the room
Just another one
In the sea of insignificant faces
That I would soon forget

But then
Suddenly
You are someone
Suddenly
You are the one
With the blonde hair and the blue eyes
But you are also
The one
With the big dreams
The dead parents
The voices in his head
The large hands and long fingers
The golden streak in his fair hair
And the most beautiful blue eyes the world has ever seen
You are different
Suddenly
I want to be with you
Every waking hour of every waking day
I want to be by your side
Listening to the deep baritone of your voice
Suddenly
I want to spend an eternity
Memorising the handsome features of the face
Suddenly
I cannot bear to be parted from you
You mean too much to me
It came on so quickly
I didn't see it coming
How did it come to this?
How could I have not seen it before?
How could I have regarded you simply as just another one
In the back of the room?
You are so much more than that
You beautiful being
How could you have changed so much in my eyes?
How could I be
Suddenly
Falling for you?
Mateuš Conrad Dec 2015
god almighty, it really has become that,
constipated writers inc.,
you can see them bargain hunt
the next big word - big word among
very simple narrative, stands out
like a christmas tree in a forest
of anorexic pine - they've started the
conveyor belt of horse eye shutters
so they can be reined in on the basis of
some puppet voodoo via the hindu
muses of brahman, it's a 'down the line'
moment: a does what a can only do,
and b does what b can only do,
given c is the process by which
a does what a does prior to not doing it,
like b, which does what b does prior to not
doing it;
me? well i too wish i was an english literature
or a journalism university drop out,
the hard man, the one who left school
at 16 without any qualifications,
started a record company, signed mike
oldfield believing that tubular bells would
be the basis for the soundtrack to both
halloween and the exorcist
(1973, 1978 and 1974 respectively) -
but they're just coming out of these institutions
with institutional verse - they're bothered
and conscious of techniques, they know
why and when to use a metaphor,
they care about saying a maxim about a similie,
they do everything by the rubric as if poetry
was a multiplication table worth memorising,
they write about thirty words a piece
in order that someone might write a 10,000 word
essay playing surgeon on them, cutting them
up to such a bare minimum that you could
almost learn kabbalah inside-out -
but i did graduate with a chemistry degree
unfortunately, and that makes me no hard man,
but i did masacre a bottle of absinthe
at about ~96% in one night and got annoyed
at not being drunk enough - yeah... hard as
they come... nothing to be proud of in all
honesty... yes all that sugar on spoon, bit
of absinthe on sugar and inferno - then some
water to dilute the absinthe and make it
milky green (czech absinthe doesn't turn milky,
some additive is missing, i can't remember) because
i have this one point to make: over-analysing
poetic expression, being conscious of poetic
techniques, in general orthodoxy is so ******
tedious that you begin to put faith in free verse...
that splendour of spontaneity like fireworks set off
un-expectedly on guy fawkes night giving you a startle.
Mateuš Conrad Apr 2017
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      <p><em>the title? it just means i took a ****.... and it felt as good as ultra<br>homosexuality via transgender... or... whatever.</em><br><br>   <strong>why is         ęś      easier to pronounce than           eś...<br>                  or                      ęs?           in bracket?<br>         well... it had to be kept in bracket...<br>                                    the counter optional was simply e.</strong><br><br>the main point of this poem?<br>    i really don't know...<br>           i just like the way the word sounds /<br>                                 <em>sings</em>, to encounter <br>  my appreciation for it having a relevant counter<br>                                expression.<br>             i can't believe i just wrote: i took a ****<br>                                   in the most eloquent way possible...<br>seriously... it was a fudge hard expression of ****...<br>                    i think i started sneezing, or coughing<br>   while <em>liberating</em> this piece of ****...<br>            it probably resembled something akin to *******;<br>it's like i wanted some, and then said:<br>                        why is taking a **** so pleasurable?!<br>can i hasve some more?<br>       in all honesty?<br> the russians can't beat the expression -<br>                                                   <em>wysrałem się</em> -<br>i.e.: i just took a ****.<br>           at this point, the russian language is pompom...<br>boring...<br>                                             ­     it's just...            <em>dangling</em>...<br>                        like a yoyo...<br>                                                        t­ong... tong... tong...<br>i can't believe i found a source of <em>infectious</em> laughter...<br>    hence i know my <em>muse</em>... and her cat's name?<br>                   <em>kickers</em>...<br>                                           i know my muse....<br>   i knew my muse since she was 14 / 13 / 12...<br>             i.e. i don't really remember the day it was: love at first sight.<br>and that was in the year 2004...<br>                                 she's still a secret to most if not all people,<br>and will remain so... <br>                             but not to her elder sister...<br>                    hmm...<br>                            ­                       what a gratifying thought:<br>it's like memorising certain things in my life<br>                      as if in a crucible of pretence: that they didn't.</p>

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Edward Coles May 2014
I am living as your echo.
Lung cancer victim,
Vague pilgrim of kindness,
Tainted by the everyday;
By our suicidal blindness.

Keep the noise low,
As you walk on past the room,
You might hear our quiet love;
Collecting forget-me-nots,
Memorising the feel
Of the hand beneath the glove.

I am living in displacement,
Neither north, nor south,
And soon landlocked in yesterday;
Too many miles from the coastline,
And with too many debts left to pay.

Keep your lips strange
And foreign, as if we’re falling
In love again. Don’t forget this youth
When we leave it,
But let this heartache turn to gains.

There are no decimals to love.
Binary code, you’re either in or you’re out;
You’re either kissing the toad,
Or questing for an actor
To tolerate you;
Without any essence of doubt.

I don’t know where I am, father.
I can’t see the floodlights
That used to beam over the allotments;
Polluting the stars. My bike is chained
In the garage, my legs are tired,
And Cawston Woods only brings me to despair.
I want to claim back my royalties,
I want my piece of the share.

We have all paid our dues now,
We have worked ourselves sore,
For this malnourished freedom;
Of which still lays a cure.

We must see politic as silence,
In its content and fact,
To see the newsreader’s babble,
As one orchestrated act.

We must love for the earthworm,
And for the life-giving bee;
For the nuclei of dead sunlight,
For our brief eternity.
c
McKenna Carrig Mar 2015
this is for her

tell her how you're no stranger to unrequited love. tell her everything he's going to say, because you've spent months memorising every word he's ever said to you. let her know that she needs to constantly remind him that he is loved, he is wanted, he is needed. tell her how he likes his coffee and how all he wants when he wakes up is to be held. tell her how he'll hold her hand until the day he can't bear to feel her skin anymore. tell her how soon that day will come. remind her not to be scared of losing him because there will be a day he comes back. he always comes back. warn her about his lips and how they'll never want to leave hers. don't leave out how addictive his hands can be, one minute they'll be combing through your hair and the next they'll be at the edge of your pants, while he's whispering in your ear saying " I'm so in love with you" tell her to remember he was yours first. let her know how easy it is to fall in love with him. he will have days where he wants nothing but to say goodbye to everything this world has to offer, you need to remind him how beautiful life can be, tell him you'll never allow him to end his life because he's such a big part of yours (he will become your everything) do not forget to explain to her how precious time can be. when you spend time with him, there's nothing else in the world that could be half as important as the way he lays his eyes on you. he will want to leave, and you will have to let him go. he gets so angry that you'll swear it's fire he's speaking, not english.  he isn't capable of commitment, you will always be his but he will never be just yours. you will never be enough for him, no matter how much you want to be his home, the love of his life, you won't. you'll want to cry, you'll wish you never met him in the first place. you'll want to walk away and never look back, but you won't be able to because as soon as you turn away he takes your heart right out of your chest. he makes sure it's his decision when he goes and when he will come back. if he will come back. you'll want to take his sadness, his hurt and his pain. you'll try but he will never give it up. he will tell you that he is worthless, he is different and he doesn't deserve to breathe and it will **** you. it'll hurt you more than you have ever experienced because no matter how many times you tell him that he is the reason the sun kisses the earth in the morning, he will never believe you.
Ayesha Aug 2021
In you I left a little kiss
A speck on lip of lip.
Like a leaf may
On a leaf spring-coated
Before it slides off and off
And into the brown below.
Like a star may,
On the window of a house
Cold in houses cold.

I lingered by the shores of you
Dried, a bone,
Memorising the hues of
A sweet, sweet marrow—
In sun it glittered, in moon sang—
In you, in you, you.

This restless room—
And ants devour around
With their fast steps and abdomens angry
And a scene of us
Through deep, hardened dirt, I dig out:
You held a garland, of foliage weaved,
I smiled a kingdom
All alive and gold.

And the young leaf will forget
Of the rusty feather
That stumbled past it,
One young dawn—
And the house
In houses lone,
Will sublime
In the day’s pretty love, but

In the blue, a bottled letter—
Too small a gift
For an illiterate sea, but
Hold it it does still,
In its secretive embrace.

So, when you born
To an arid tree—
And in blood of stars I wade
As down descends
The sky we built,
Do not cut open the insects
In your frenzied search for me—
All the kingdoms
Could I smile
In you I left with their riches and green.

Dried, a bone, I
Remember the hues
Of a sweet, sweet fruit—
In blooms it blooms, in stars
On frosted windows
In you, in me, you.
So, when I sway
In this lovely quiet,

You sway too
In the dawn.
And born you
Then born you
And reborn on a spring—
In you lives a little kiss
And wilt you,
It wilts.
10/08/2021

— The End —