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"lugged" poems
At the corner, a girl child from the UK another soft drink she chugged Whilst the girl woman in the Sudan, the heavy *** on head she lugged She walked eight miles, braving **** to fetch unclean water from the well Whilst in the UK, the girl bought designer clothes to make her feel just swell God where are the waters of life? To end their strife At the mall, the boy child ate his third Hershey bar In Malawi the boy man’s stomach had extended too far Malnutrition had sealed his fate God where is the cereal? To make their lives non-ephemeral Down under, the son celebrated with family, presents and cake his father’s 100th milestone Whilst in war torn Syria, a son, now orphan buried his young murdered father, in ground without a gravestone God when will the fighting cease? To give them a chance of peace Is this God’s confusion? That though we are all made the same, some people their innocence shattered are headed for a terrifying fate whilst others fully satiated and secure, sip their drinks, polish off and request another plate Or does God if he exists not love the weak and oppressed?
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Sep 11, 2014
Sep 11, 2014 at 6:25 PM UTC
Is this God's confusion?
it’s real and thick, like, jiggly tingly and tasty— i said baby i’m not made for much but giggling and i can make your night haven’t spoken since i was out on bond but you’re super cute more than i envisioned and you’re good at makeup makes my feelings all kinds of wiggly days lost in green oblivion like a prison weight lugged around do you remember when you were with me all skinny and brittle *****
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May 9, 2018
May 9, 2018 at 12:49 AM UTC
the jiggly giggly girl
They tell me to stick to my roots because roots lead up to shoots. They tell me to stick to my origin unaware of how it acts as a prison, My roots are Draupadi's hair that was twisted and lugged, my roots are Panchali's saree that was tugged. My roots are Sita's wrist Ravana wrested, my roots are where Ahalya's chastity rested. My roots are parasites that eat up its own herb and **** my roots are rat snakes that eat up its own tissue and meat. My roots are flames of fire that created and watered the plant of Sati, my roots are pools of blood and long ropes that drowned and hanged LaxmiBai and Moolmati. My roots are the dish misogyny flavoured with patriarchy, my roots are naked streams of Ganga washing off their lynching and anarchy. My roots are all the poison Shiva drank during the churning of the sea, my roots are Dhritrashtra's aspirations and ambiguity. My roots are its own herbivore, my roots are the lava that burns its own floor. And my roots are my flesh and bone, so I am stitched to my roots altogether, all alone. So as I cut my own roots, my roots chop me, hence I stick to my roots while my roots remain free.
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May 25, 2020
May 25, 2020 at 4:00 AM UTC
Grounded
I don't have a filing cabinet, I've emptied all the drawers; Lugged it through my clearing house, Then gleefully through the  door. The **** thing's out for pick up. Each drawer was filled with files: Insurance forms for cars and bikes, Gone this long while; Health receipts for healthy lives, Warranties and refund lies, Transcripts from a former life, Lesson plans and records, Some pics of you and me. All shredded, bagged and tightly tied, And ready for the street. I'm finding some relief. If only I could do the same With memories of you.
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Jul 27, 2018
Jul 27, 2018 at 9:27 AM UTC
File It
MANY things I might have said today. And I kept my mouth shut. So many times I was asked To come and say the same things Everybody was saying, no end To the yes-yes, yes-yes, me-too, me-too. The aprons of silence covered me. A wire and hatch held my tongue. I spit nails into an abyss and listened. I shut off the gabble of Jones, Johnson, Smith. All whose names take pages in the city directory. I fixed up a padded cell and lugged it around. I locked myself in and nobody knew it. Only the keeper and the kept in the hoosegow Knew it-on the streets, in the postoffice, On the cars, into the railroad station Where the caller was calling, "All a-board, All a-board for .. Blaa-blaa .. Blaa-blaa, Blaa-blaa .. and all points northwest .. all a-board." Here I took along my own hoosegow And did business with my own thoughts. Do you see? It must be the aprons of silence.
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2.2k
Aprons of Silence
Her hand rested slight Upon the book she'd found Her bag across her shoulder She was waiting for the sound Of the door alarm at the B & N I mean after all it was Fifty nine volumes On how to build a bomb Found none to soon   On a shelf at the B & N Abandoned by her lover After too many fights That was five years ago A lot of lonely nights Casing the B & N Screaming out loud At rush hour on the train Was not an option Nor was ******* Snorted at the B & N Finally people milling round She quietly lifted the solution To her ravaged heart All fifty nine on revolution S     l         i            p               p                  e                     d Into her bag at the B & N Head down and weighted down She walked to the exit Waiting for someone No one to prevent it Except security at the B & N At last the perfect patsy Alarm rang, the man froze And our spurned lover To the opportunity arose Ran out of the B & N Ran to the parking lot Her VW bug Opened the door Threw in what she'd lugged 59 looted at the B & N Key from the drink holder In her shaking hand er  rhrh  rhrh vah-room Such a brazen plan Perpetrated at the B & N Her eyes glowed wicked With rage and revenge Someone would pay All would attend This crime hatched at the B & N The deed was done She clung to the wheel The accelerator floored            The tires squealed Away, away from the B & N
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Jun 15, 2015
Jun 15, 2015 at 5:19 PM UTC
Shop Lifter at Barnes & Noble
Is there anything as special As a sister's love? They are right there with you When push comes to shove! They fight for you Have light for you To show you that they care They grow with you And sow with you The mem'rys you both share Sometimes they may not agree Sometimes even fight But that's because they want the best And they know what's right! It's my sister's birthday And I want her to see She is near and she is dear In my memory So here is a story I remember from her past It tells of her character She's a fighter to the last! ~~<♡>~~ When my sister was still going to the University of Arizona here in Tucson, she had a motorcycle. Which had a proclivity for breaking down. Well, it was getting on toward summer. And the bike broke down many miles from where her mechanic was located. She had no money to get it towed. So my hundred and twenty pound sister pushed that heavy motorcycle all the way to the dealership! The mechanic was agog! He couldn't believe she had lugged that motorcycle all that way! He told her, "Honey, you have some ***** This is the way my sister is. Beautiful, brilliant, and brave! I am very proud of her, and I'm honored to be her sister! ♡ Catherine
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Sep 24, 2016
Sep 24, 2016 at 4:06 PM UTC
Sisters
You introduced me to my life and got me living, Because of you, my existence found a meaning. I remember the day when I first saw you bat Your genius left even an ignorant kid flat. It was in 1996, forever I’ll cherish the occasion You ignited a spark of interest which is now my passion. You scored a hundred and gave me my first cheer. We lost that game and I cried my first cricket tear! You gave me a Team I could proudly call ‘mine’ And the strength to support it, till the end of time. I feel the rush of patriotism every time you lift your bat And with pride in your eyes kiss the Tri-colour on your helmet. You held Our Team together when all seemed to fall apart Till you were our saviour, even in disaster I didn’t lose heart. Every run you’ve scored, has brought a smile on my face Each word you’ve said has in my heart, left a permanent trace. Whenever life has got cruel, you’ve got it back in full bloom It just takes a swing of your bat to bring the sun out from gloom You’ve been the answer to my most desperate prayers Like a messiah, you’ve fetched success from shadows of failures Every moment you’ve spent on the field has been a lifetime for me I’ve lived them all with a deluge of emotions -pride, despair, anger and glee. With every joy you’ve granted me, I’ve been greedy for more. And you’ve been an angel whose generosity has never turned sore. At times when you failed, I refused to accept you too are human But silently and patiently, you lugged the burden of my expectation There might have been times when you just couldn’t take the pain But you hid it behind your gritty face and played for us even with severe strain I’ve been the most blessed of all beings, to have had a hero like you, Your existence makes me believe, there’s a supreme power above too. After years of being spellbound by your genius, I still crave for more I pray that you go on forever, can’t help being selfish to the core. I wish I could thank you for everything but I dare not try. How does one thank the Almighty for bringing a body to life? So, I call upon your deity; by your side may he forever stand, And fulfill all your dreams, may your wish be his command!!!
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Sep 15, 2010
Sep 15, 2010 at 12:51 AM UTC
How do I thank You?
You introduced me to my life and got me living, Because of you, my existence found a meaning. I remember the day when I first saw you bat Your genius left even an ignorant kid flat. It was in 1996, forever I’ll cherish the occasion You ignited a spark of interest which is now my passion. You scored a hundred and gave me my first cheer. We lost that game and I cried my first cricket tear! You gave me a Team I could proudly call ‘mine’ And the strength to support it, till the end of time. I feel the rush of patriotism every time you lift your bat And with pride in your eyes kiss the Tri-colour on your helmet. You held Our Team together when all seemed to fall apart Till you were our saviour, even in disaster I didn’t lose heart. Every run you’ve scored, has brought a smile on my face Each word you’ve said has in my heart, left a permanent trace. Whenever life has got cruel, you’ve got it back in full bloom It just takes a swing of your bat to bring the sun out from gloom You’ve been the answer to my most desperate prayers Like a messiah, you’ve fetched success from shadows of failures Every moment you’ve spent on the field has been a lifetime for me I’ve lived them all with a deluge of emotions -pride, despair, anger and glee. With every joy you’ve granted me, I’ve been greedy for more. And you’ve been an angel whose generosity has never turned sore. At times when you failed, I refused to accept you too are human But silently and patiently, you lugged the burden of my expectation There might have been times when you just couldn’t take the pain But you hid it behind your gritty face and played for us even with severe strain I’ve been the most blessed of all beings, to have had a hero like you, Your existence makes me believe, there’s a supreme power above too. After years of being spellbound by your genius, I still crave for more I pray that you go on forever, can’t help being selfish to the core. I wish I could thank you for everything but I dare not try. How does one thank the Almighty for bringing a body to life? So, I call upon your deity; by your side may he forever stand, And fulfill all your dreams, may your wish be his command!!!
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36
Life stagnates as people start trickling back to their houses. Some look forward to the expectant faces of their children, while some others dread their churlish wives. As they saunter along doggedly, the day’s events play like a broken record in their heads – a mimicry of sanity. A crow caws somewhere as though lovesick. Streetlights come on and fireflies hover in a daze. Bicycles, cricket bats, and skipping ropes are lugged back home by children who are repeatedly beckoned by overbearing mothers. Almost in a trance, the buzz of the day fades away as a feigned tranquility descends. molten skyline… an earthworm buries itself deeper
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Feb 10, 2015
Feb 10, 2015 at 6:35 AM UTC
Day's End
It was threatening rain for a week or more It was always threatening rain, The Weather Bureau was always sore When the threatening rain never came. We’d hold an open air barbecue Each time they said it would come, ‘Hey it’s gonna rain,’ said Oliver Payne, ‘What do they think, we’re dumb?’ But the Bureau Chief, one Adrian Reef Said he was sick to the core, Why wouldn’t the weather behave itself Like it had done before, ‘It’s making us look like a laughing stock,’ He bitterly said to Jane, ‘I want you to ring up the airport now And charter a small, light plane,’ He loaded the plane up with dry ice And a generous load of salt, And lugged along an elephant gun, The plane took off with a jolt, He peppered the clouds with ice that day, He put his job on the line, The last thing he wanted to have to say: ‘The weather is going to be fine.’ And down on the ground at the barbecue We were sizzling snags and steak, Having an ice cold beer or two And trying to stay awake. The sultry weather was drowsy then We’d heard the report, in vain, But just when the steaks were nicely done It came down, bucketing rain. We didn’t have time to pack it up, We couldn’t save snags or steak, In only a couple of minutes there We were staggering round in a lake, And Oliver’s esky floated away With the rest of the beer we’d bought, While we took shelter as best we could Under cover of Maggie’s porch. The water rose right up to our knees, Our cars were afloat that day, The chickens drowned and the old hearth hound Was found seven miles away, While on the Teev was the Bureau Chief With a grin that was not quite sane, He knew he’d won with his elephant gun, ‘The sky is threatening rain!’ David Lewis Paget
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Jan 9, 2015
Jan 9, 2015 at 2:04 PM UTC
Threatening Rain
It was threatening rain for a week or more It was always threatening rain, The Weather Bureau was always sore When the threatening rain never came. We’d hold an open air barbecue Each time they said it would come, ‘Hey it’s gonna rain,’ said Oliver Payne, ‘What do they think, we’re dumb?’ But the Bureau Chief, one Adrian Reef Said he was sick to the core, Why wouldn’t the weather behave itself Like it had done before, ‘It’s making us look like a laughing stock,’ He bitterly said to Jane, ‘I want you to ring up the airport now And charter a small, light plane,’ He loaded the plane up with dry ice And a generous load of salt, And lugged along an elephant gun, The plane took off with a jolt, He peppered the clouds with ice that day, He put his job on the line, The last thing he wanted to have to say: ‘The weather is going to be fine.’ And down on the ground at the barbecue We were sizzling snags and steak, Having an ice cold beer or two And trying to stay awake. The sultry weather was drowsy then We’d heard the report, in vain, But just when the steaks were nicely done It came down, bucketing rain. We didn’t have time to pack it up, We couldn’t save snags or steak, In only a couple of minutes there We were staggering round in a lake, And Oliver’s esky floated away With the rest of the beer we’d bought, While we took shelter as best we could Under cover of Maggie’s porch. The water rose right up to our knees, Our cars were afloat that day, The chickens drowned and the old hearth hound Was found seven miles away, While on the Teev was the Bureau Chief With a grin that was not quite sane, He knew he’d won with his elephant gun, ‘The sky is threatening rain!’ David Lewis Paget
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49
sooner or later you'll find out your thoughts are a sin: drugged and lugged through the halls you're living in until you've accepted their embracing concepts and their defacing analysis of your character; you're dead. their pale, fluorescent lights hum in your head and clean out the cobwebs that you've let build up until you've been completely cleansed of your transgressions and until you've figured out life's not about progression. sooner or later you'll find out you're life's been overanalyzed: created for the sake of boredom and then criticized by yourself, your peers, and the people who you never knew; they'd never known, not even yourself, but you guessed. there was no reason to make an estimate, you're blessed through your admission of self, sanctity, and painful denial of the truths they'd tried to make you disbelieve; now you're ready, you're certain, and soon, you'll be freed.
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Nov 16, 2012
Nov 16, 2012 at 12:14 PM UTC
feminism, anarchy, and jesus
I’ve got five minutes Then I must leave my verdant patch On the skirt of a wind-rustled lake hidden behind Logan's Roadhouse Five minutes to mentally finger with the fetal position In which I awoke this morning, there as the sun drew long shadows, I, a diminutive daub of nautilus, On a California King, rippled plane of sand, Sporadic shivers, beneath a chenille blanket I, the town crier of dawn as My own dreams ran screaming through the silence Pointing a finger at my sanctuary… “Here is your pearl thief!” Men in hats, briefcases, heel-toe black clicky and shiny shoes on leashes lugged, Yanked by noisy hounds passing by stop, sniff, snarl-toothed ******** then one caught my scent, “Five minutes more sleep,” I implored "Find another dreaming fleshy mess of bones!" And leave me to my pearl. But it’s a universe that simply will not wait And suffer fools for sleepers, not a moment more Yet for my many sleepless minutes after, Dusk till dawn, and still beyond, it’s always, five minutes more
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Oct 6, 2014
Oct 6, 2014 at 4:54 PM UTC
Five More Minutes
As a child I received a special bag. I started to pack it with useless things. Over the years it became heavy and unbearable to carry, Yet I could never leave it behind. The vibrant colors had since faded, the pink zipper no longer zipped , and a weird musty smell flowed from it; Yet I lugged it around- it created a groove into my shoulder from its heaviness- causing me to cower as I walked. One day, I grew too weary to continue carrying that bag around. I dropped that bag filled with regret, worry, low self-esteem, and self hate behind, Since then I have walked tall; feeling as free as I could be.
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May 6, 2016
May 6, 2016 at 7:28 PM UTC
Bag Lady
My other half ;you became until one day you had put me to shame 'My other half' i no longer claimed for I had told you to restrain My spite soon reached it's peak until one day I said “No more being meek” My wrath I did not tell nor show because I remembered how Karma goes Since my wrath went untold The more my wrath began to grow Fake smiles & "okays"; I gave out like drugs Because it indicated that I had felt nothing but inside my heart lugged The plastic genuine-like smile allowed you to come back in my arms like men & dogs But then it dawned on me that I got no apology for what you had done to me So on that day I got even with my enemy My foe thought we were on good terms But no, a lesson is meant to be learnt The secrets that foe shared with me was now exposed for everyone to see My foe was put to shame in the public eye Maybe they will learn in due time that the game I was playing was such a beautiful lie It occurred to my foe that It was a plot & that my intentions were sly and also that Karma's a ***** & so was I. (g.p)
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Apr 29, 2015
Apr 29, 2015 at 7:09 PM UTC
Caution's Interlude
Growing up I never had any pets My adorable baby brother grew to be the centre of all attentions My parents were way to busy working Keeping us afloat To pay attention to this skinny dreamy girl I've been to crèches Where the owners 18 year old son used to hit me I've sat at the doorsteps of my house Hours and hours Hoping the cook would let me Home lost its appeal I saw it as a place to live Not a place to love Loneliness grew to be my closest companion My dreams and troubles too complicated For the simple minds of 8 year olds 12 years later Things have changed I've grown into a woman One I could someday admire But the 8 year old hasn't left The one who craves love Who sits by the doorstep of faith knocking Begging for the strength to hold on 12 years later we got ourselves a tortoise Marco the solitary explorer of our house He was not mine to keep or love A birthday gift just for my brother But he grew on us all Bringing out slowly the love we had long since locked away In my recent months of hiding He became my companion Someone so tiny Who could never speak Yet listened so intently when I spoke Whose curiosity and laziness rivalled my own We had a understanding A relationship I was always careful with him His tininess terrified me I've hurt too many in the past Not this time I vowed But I ******* it all up Early morning routines passed in a hurry My selfishness got the better of me As I hustled into another work day And just as I lugged my work for the day into the next room I felt something hit my foot And a squeak that turned my blood to ice There he was Hidden inside his shell which lay upside down Time slowed down to seconds As I rushed to set him straight Praying he was okay And even though my mom says he's okay I can't get rid of the guilt That painful squeak runs clear in my mind every passing second I don't deserve him I could have killed him I almost did The problem is always with me I'm the hurricane of insanity Of fuckedupness redefined I could have killed him I almost did
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Jul 9, 2015
Jul 9, 2015 at 11:00 PM UTC
i almost did
Growing up I never had any pets My adorable baby brother grew to be the centre of all attentions My parents were way to busy working Keeping us afloat To pay attention to this skinny dreamy girl I've been to crèches Where the owners 18 year old son used to hit me I've sat at the doorsteps of my house Hours and hours Hoping the cook would let me Home lost its appeal I saw it as a place to live Not a place to love Loneliness grew to be my closest companion My dreams and troubles too complicated For the simple minds of 8 year olds 12 years later Things have changed I've grown into a woman One I could someday admire But the 8 year old hasn't left The one who craves love Who sits by the doorstep of faith knocking Begging for the strength to hold on 12 years later we got ourselves a tortoise Marco the solitary explorer of our house He was not mine to keep or love A birthday gift just for my brother But he grew on us all Bringing out slowly the love we had long since locked away In my recent months of hiding He became my companion Someone so tiny Who could never speak Yet listened so intently when I spoke Whose curiosity and laziness rivalled my own We had a understanding A relationship I was always careful with him His tininess terrified me I've hurt too many in the past Not this time I vowed But I ******* it all up Early morning routines passed in a hurry My selfishness got the better of me As I hustled into another work day And just as I lugged my work for the day into the next room I felt something hit my foot And a squeak that turned my blood to ice There he was Hidden inside his shell which lay upside down Time slowed down to seconds As I rushed to set him straight Praying he was okay And even though my mom says he's okay I can't get rid of the guilt That painful squeak runs clear in my mind every passing second I don't deserve him I could have killed him I almost did The problem is always with me I'm the hurricane of insanity Of fuckedupness redefined I could have killed him I almost did
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65
Our ovoid showers copper on the fourth of july Slips fists until bliss razed the grass with red dye Empty sieve lead hooks to spank through the nights Our mare’s nest by-passing sparkled like a firefly Birds & trees vastly sprout young waves of light Lugged for incredible misbehavior Until glass rolls & lights up with majestic flavors
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Nov 30, 2016
Nov 30, 2016 at 6:55 AM UTC
We Are The Trees Up That Hill
Music of our lives. It’s been a while since I’ve got round To putting words on paper down. But life’s a busy dizzy stream Of people met And places seen One life now gone No maybe two My wife in passing Took mine too But she lives on though in my mind Her memories never left behind A precious treasure locked away To savor on a troubled day But this is not a sad refrain While she’s in heaven I remain And live a life the gypsies know An endless trek avoiding snow. Each fall I load the truck with stuff A truck that’s never big enough To hold our endless piles of gear Of things we need lugged far and near For now we have another home Way in the south to which we roam And spend our winters in the sun Good friends, fine meals and dances fun All older folks I seem to see And many over eighty be And life may end for some real soon For Florida’s Heaven’s waiting room But till that day those folks aren’t wrong To live life full And party on. So with the pack I spend my time And all their pastimes Fully mime But come the spring the parties done We flee the blinding burning sun Back to the north from whence we fled Th e north we love Since winters dead Back to our homes We now all strive Such is the music Of our lives. “So is it in the music of men's lives. King Richard II: V, v” If you’d like more of this long pun I’m sorry folks The writings done.
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Apr 12, 2013
Apr 12, 2013 at 12:52 AM UTC
Music of our lives
It was you you who burbled my thoughts Who coruscated my facets Who severed my gears Who took my milk for gall You who left me digging caverns below my arms as they proved to hold no one So useless, I became their hangman hoisting them up to the sky, dangling them down to the ground They swung lifelessly, as a nocuous pendulum, condemned by all for their open tears It was you who couldn’t bear my weight no matter how light it got or how strong you grew You who lugged my baggage on your back and threw it off your shoulders when you found it a foolish load You who poured cream in my coffee with your sweet laughter Who gave my stomach butterflies ridden with insomnia It was you who left me lovesick and languid biting back malaise with an ailing tongue Now I house snoring butterflies with broken wings and my coffee is black and bitter like me One day, I’ll wake up with grooves marrying my skin encroaching like waves on a bay front with gunmetal hair sweeping like a broom over dross with dust nodding off on my knees I’ll gulp down bygone speech putting droughts in my throat from all the pride I swallowed then, with a bone-dry mouth, I’ll speak again - as winter must melt into spring - and I won’t say “It was you” I’ll say “It was me.”
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Jan 5, 2015
Jan 5, 2015 at 6:16 AM UTC
Blame
i dragged this **** fifty miles across the border for this? that hurts, it does, it really does like a deep burning stabbing twisting the sort of thing i lugged this all the way here for you i got a flat on the side of the highway so i had to carry this to you by hand and you don't want it
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Aug 13, 2013
Aug 13, 2013 at 4:47 AM UTC
landline
The last time I dreamed about you I planted the dream in soil. When I fell asleep and woke up. I believed you to have grown, Like any other flower. Even if you turned out to be a rose, I didn’t mind the ***** of a thorn. When I wiped my eyes There was a cactus in the soil. There are good dreams And there are bad dreams. Most bad dreams start off good. Then become prickly and cold. I didn’t care. I lugged you around with me everywhere. Pulling out the spines that stuck me. No matter where we went I considered them kisses From you to me, And me, I considered my dream A reality. Then you got larger. Then you got heavier. That happy lug turned to a hard pull. And those cute little ****** Turned into being stabbed. there’s a reason why most cactus’ Are found in the desert. And why some dreams Are just like a cactus
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Nov 15, 2024
Nov 15, 2024 at 1:04 AM UTC
Dream like a Cactus
*nothing as reckless as a feigned indifference, reckless with a negative connotation- that is- a pretended falseness and concealment of passion, obsession, a love…. inconsiderate of a universe’s ability to destruct, to ****** away any given scenario, to wipe clean the gravity between two souls, two minds, too much gambled. too large of a bet. high risk little return, no return. none at all.* we bathe in sorrow hoping it lightens to laughter. ashing cigarettes on our skin, dexterity laziness in us all leaving coffee black leaving ashes paraphernalia of the love I burnt with fists that turned cold, so cold, unclenched a melancholy weeping for the sighs of metal breath. an injection of remorse, what’s it quenching? what’s it worth? what’s it asking? what’s it taking? are we sinning? are we praying? where’s the Dying end, where’s it stop, tonic, what’d it tell you? did your analeptic 'screaming-to-the-ceiling' testify to the woes endured by a life on earth, a life lugged through, broken by its intricacies we’re all on hands and knees singing, sobbing, pleading, throbbing it’s a beauty in the dead leaves, the Fallen I feel badly for, a reaching sympathy, beyond what my hands express we embody selfish bringings   bursts of breath balloons of noise of gasps of the lapse preceding death is it hypocritical to enjoy the lack of closure, the abrupt ending, keeping bottles kept? the myriad of leaving the method to Drinking heavy heaving stumbling cross-legged through this party of contemplating Permanence, a greying breeding *i imagine a man heading a room ceasing noise not having to demand it no, rather whispering, whispering streams of thought of consciousness.... or the lack of it on buzzing fragments of philosophy and rationale..... or the lack of it* the lack of a sounding foundation the lack of a solid grounding of a planned pathway of a plan at all, bottomless to the Bottom of the top of the
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Feb 7, 2016
Feb 7, 2016 at 2:53 PM UTC
spit
*nothing as reckless as a feigned indifference, reckless with a negative connotation- that is- a pretended falseness and concealment of passion, obsession, a love…. inconsiderate of a universe’s ability to destruct, to ****** away any given scenario, to wipe clean the gravity between two souls, two minds, too much gambled. too large of a bet. high risk little return, no return. none at all.* we bathe in sorrow hoping it lightens to laughter. ashing cigarettes on our skin, dexterity laziness in us all leaving coffee black leaving ashes paraphernalia of the love I burnt with fists that turned cold, so cold, unclenched a melancholy weeping for the sighs of metal breath. an injection of remorse, what’s it quenching? what’s it worth? what’s it asking? what’s it taking? are we sinning? are we praying? where’s the Dying end, where’s it stop, tonic, what’d it tell you? did your analeptic 'screaming-to-the-ceiling' testify to the woes endured by a life on earth, a life lugged through, broken by its intricacies we’re all on hands and knees singing, sobbing, pleading, throbbing it’s a beauty in the dead leaves, the Fallen I feel badly for, a reaching sympathy, beyond what my hands express we embody selfish bringings   bursts of breath balloons of noise of gasps of the lapse preceding death is it hypocritical to enjoy the lack of closure, the abrupt ending, keeping bottles kept? the myriad of leaving the method to Drinking heavy heaving stumbling cross-legged through this party of contemplating Permanence, a greying breeding *i imagine a man heading a room ceasing noise not having to demand it no, rather whispering, whispering streams of thought of consciousness.... or the lack of it on buzzing fragments of philosophy and rationale..... or the lack of it* the lack of a sounding foundation the lack of a solid grounding of a planned pathway of a plan at all, bottomless to the Bottom of the top of the
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34
My English Professor says that I am not that good of a writer. I should have known by all the garbage I lugged around with me. Espousing it here and there. Trying to lighten the load. It's better to accept it I suppose. Not everything can be good. It's hit and miss. If I throw enough **** at the wall some of it is bound to stick. He said, "You can only be as good as the stuff you read." Maybe I should read more good **** Any suggestions? I like to read Bukowski. He says Bukowski is trash. I really don't care what he thinks. I'll be happy with a C. And hopefully, a degree one day. He reads The New York Times and rambles on about politics. I read trash and I don't talk very much. I'm too busy thinking about liquor and women. Usually one at a time or one in particular. I work, go to school and come home to play mediocre superdad or distant husband. I wonder if I'll get that degree. I wonder if I even really care anymore. And if not, then why? Maybe there is some fateful reason for all this. That's what people like to say, "Everything happens for a reason." It sure feels good to think like that. Seems that way.
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Nov 26, 2016
Nov 26, 2016 at 11:26 PM UTC
My English professor
winters in indianapolis with you the places and the strange feelings they give off, the music plays in the streets as the snow falls. the mattress is on the floor, it’s cold. you take up most of the blanket. skipping class to sleep in your bed, warm showers skin soft and fleshy ignited a text read at 2:30 a.m. i miss getting ****** on the regular. now all i have is pbr and silence at parties autumns in Bloomington without you. hugging the blanket after you leave. it’s a hazy Sunday morning looking at an empty seat across from me on the bus how dark your eyes are in the moonlight a void expanding it felt like we were on the edge of a nuclear war as the smoke from outside the brick house covered your face. i don’t know how to tell you. as if it really means much. you always have to leave in the morning no matter how much we both want you to stay. but there’s an urgency, the world might end for us tomorrow and you won’t know. the next week i am laying on decker’s cold apartment floor, missing winters in Indianapolis with you. forgetting how all of our favorite coffee shops closed down, and the icy streets that never seemed to melt. the sun will rise tomorrow and it will sit in the back of my head. dark eyes long hair and the box of hamms you lugged up to nick’s apartment. the old couch you slept on. our drunken laughs. how I wouldn’t tell you because I wanted to do it sober. the way you say goodbye in the morning. you might be it. you might be.
0
Oct 5, 2018
Oct 5, 2018 at 10:39 AM UTC
winters in indianapolis
winters in indianapolis with you the places and the strange feelings they give off, the music plays in the streets as the snow falls. the mattress is on the floor, it’s cold. you take up most of the blanket. skipping class to sleep in your bed, warm showers skin soft and fleshy ignited a text read at 2:30 a.m. i miss getting ****** on the regular. now all i have is pbr and silence at parties autumns in Bloomington without you. hugging the blanket after you leave. it’s a hazy Sunday morning looking at an empty seat across from me on the bus how dark your eyes are in the moonlight a void expanding it felt like we were on the edge of a nuclear war as the smoke from outside the brick house covered your face. i don’t know how to tell you. as if it really means much. you always have to leave in the morning no matter how much we both want you to stay. but there’s an urgency, the world might end for us tomorrow and you won’t know. the next week i am laying on decker’s cold apartment floor, missing winters in Indianapolis with you. forgetting how all of our favorite coffee shops closed down, and the icy streets that never seemed to melt. the sun will rise tomorrow and it will sit in the back of my head. dark eyes long hair and the box of hamms you lugged up to nick’s apartment. the old couch you slept on. our drunken laughs. how I wouldn’t tell you because I wanted to do it sober. the way you say goodbye in the morning. you might be it. you might be.
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41
days when all you had to do was arrange the furniture and watch the passing of shadows in mellifluous slowness – ready to catch you in heft of mesh. nothing keeps her in place. that is what you said. you said you were always moving from the north up to the south, and at times the north of no south that refuses to be held close into straight paths. you gave it no unction – this abstraction. christened with the water from your measures, slipping out of grips, from where you are and where I found you in, retained in some sense of placeness, almost cuts with the sharp dagger of wind in mornings when you peer into the putrid landscape of Manila asphyxiated by the rise of smog. her sorrows remain untouched and intact, given urgency by the emptiness of her hand. he had to be elsewhere and you were in the midst of nowhere but the hollow oblivion of your home, and I took it, I took it and I fragmented it to gather from it, a sacrament or say, the looming of dangers for   mine to situate in defeat, and I placed you somewhere like a new truth that you’ve grown fond of, like the only voice you hear in the night is yours, and gathering that indistinct sound from the stray of light was the lover having left an impending need. my father proposed to watch a film with my mother and I see potential in something that had gone away even before   the empty din of the sea played its exhausted machinery, telling me something known and familiar, which I refuse to utter because it would double its terror. we ought to meet somewhere, you said, a bridge, a tangent, a straight path or a perilous curvature. you will never break as the sparrows close in, as the disparage quavers, as an old man stops his engine somewhere under a bridge beneath rondures. we ought to meet somewhere, you said. a word tamped into shape, lugged into narratives, so easy breakable and false.
0
Mar 22, 2016
Mar 22, 2016 at 8:29 AM UTC
Break
days when all you had to do was arrange the furniture and watch the passing of shadows in mellifluous slowness – ready to catch you in heft of mesh. nothing keeps her in place. that is what you said. you said you were always moving from the north up to the south, and at times the north of no south that refuses to be held close into straight paths. you gave it no unction – this abstraction. christened with the water from your measures, slipping out of grips, from where you are and where I found you in, retained in some sense of placeness, almost cuts with the sharp dagger of wind in mornings when you peer into the putrid landscape of Manila asphyxiated by the rise of smog. her sorrows remain untouched and intact, given urgency by the emptiness of her hand. he had to be elsewhere and you were in the midst of nowhere but the hollow oblivion of your home, and I took it, I took it and I fragmented it to gather from it, a sacrament or say, the looming of dangers for   mine to situate in defeat, and I placed you somewhere like a new truth that you’ve grown fond of, like the only voice you hear in the night is yours, and gathering that indistinct sound from the stray of light was the lover having left an impending need. my father proposed to watch a film with my mother and I see potential in something that had gone away even before   the empty din of the sea played its exhausted machinery, telling me something known and familiar, which I refuse to utter because it would double its terror. we ought to meet somewhere, you said, a bridge, a tangent, a straight path or a perilous curvature. you will never break as the sparrows close in, as the disparage quavers, as an old man stops his engine somewhere under a bridge beneath rondures. we ought to meet somewhere, you said. a word tamped into shape, lugged into narratives, so easy breakable and false.
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53
I felt something pulling me so I looked, back over my heavy shoulder as I lugged that broken seat down the stairs on casters it fell apart when he grabbed it by the arms and slammed it into the linoleum with me in it after I rolled it to the dumpster and lifted it over the metal edge, I remember the relief of letting go of that fractured, useless piece somehow I was lighter as if tossing that moment and all the things no longer safe for me
0
Nov 27, 2017
Nov 27, 2017 at 11:05 AM UTC
broken trash