I'd empty every devilish idea
in a minute to fulfill your imagination,
And I'd open every crack in every corridor
so passing wasn't such a passé,
And I'd push every moment to be better than the last
and sleep soundly at night with you.
I'd pour my heart and soul into our lives
to make you happy again and see you truly smile,
And I'd hamper your days with love and beguile you again
if you'd focus on more than the bigger picture
And be ****** sentimental and loving
it isn't some hard thing you have to do
you bunch it up in yer hands---
you can't seem to let it all flush itself out anyway,
how's me telling you anything any different any way
different than it was from last night.
you can't seem to ride out the storm on the back porch roof,
how i'd **** to lay out there, soak in the incandescents,
no different than being nowhere like we were before.
you can't seem to take the blame for anything anyway,
how i have to take the head on every thing any way
i can and it's destroying how we even talk anymore.
anyway, i hope you're happy while i'm up, drunk, tired, bored, nothing but what we could've had running through my head. you're dead, asleep, lonesome. just flush the **** already.
Emptied of empathy
old scars, picked and bleeding.
a half empty bottle of whiskey,
violence in my headscape, escaping unnoticed,
and i wait for the trueness of my own emotions.
they won't come, she said.
they weren't here in the first place,
and if they were i'd throw them out
and lock the door without a second glance.
i know what's missing but i'm stubborn.
i don't let myself have as i'm a have-not,
i haven't had a chance to get out as much,
not like i really did before anyway.
I sleep in your dreams
And awaken in my own.
My own nightmares
Shrill, silent and symbolic,
Now your passage of time.
i won't face my own facts
and flip a coin for :yes: or :no: questions
and hope i get the opposites of what i want
so i stop being a spineless ****
and ;actually do; some self-improving that doesn't just hurt
wondering if i'd done enough to keep myself happy,
this constant pursuance of happiness always just out of my grasp,
i'm still reaching and searching for something.
i want to be so much more than i am,
and i'm not sure being anymore will bring me the peace i want
so desperately, nor will it fulfill, i'm sure.