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Kris Pretorius Mar 2022
beauty is still to be found in the bent double tulip,
in the storm-torn remains of a once proudly standing flower,
its colors remain vivid and bright.

it takes both strength and perseverance to face the raging winds,
to stand tall, to not cower
under circumstances laden with plight.

and whilst we sometimes get knocked down,
and get hit with the heaviest of loads,
the tulip bulb remains in the ground,
and next spring, will be ready to grow.
Axiomighty Dec 2013
Grimly smiling
At this leg of the race how'd you think I got it made
Done had me some power but never got paid
I volunteered my hours while being mentally slayed
Brain slashed so I lashed out by never sleeping though life always layed me out
Knocked down, ears ringing
Is this my calling?
To stand up taller, am I meant to be a crawler?
I'm not a zombie, I'm just hurt
That you'd think I can't escape the fate set on me, I don't live in hell but I feel burnt
I don't watch burnt movies on the disc though, wouldn't fit in at the disco
I stream em online, I want to get fit but I'm too busy waiting for the video to load
Then the **** thing lags, maybe it's a sign
To use my legs and get buffer
But I didn't brace myself to be cast in this role
Done capped my knees durability and out came my knee cap
Then people finally noticed that I was hurt, but it wasn't my limb they should've been concerned about
But I'm not here to pout, hell I'm getting help
I'm just here to say
When you're ready to give up
Life hits you even harder
To remind you that you're tougher than any doubt you've ever had
You can handle more than even a hurt body, brain, or mind
You ain't dead till you die
You ain't high till you fly
You ain't ahead until you try
It's a lot like rugby, even when the magic rug be out of reach
You can still be a-lad-in joy
There's something about dodging and taking hits that's enthralling
Chaos is beauty
If you don't just let it be but let yourself succeed
A little sweat and blood to get the lead
In the rain wet and loud, passions what I bleed
And obstacles are what my slightly enlarged heart pumps, what it beats
But sometimes I'm choking on led
My lungs are the weapon that gave me a shot, and onlookers say "You're rhymes have no pattern B, so the way you write things is awk, see?
How's this for an ox-c *****!
I'm suffocating on oxygen
Asthma attack at nine months old didn't stop me, a close call they said
But more like a call received
Because looking back now I know my purpose
Is to breathe
Gerry Aldridge Jul 2016
As a bird
I knocked at that door-
The one at the end
Of the hall.
Now all I do
Is make noise outside,
Hoping she won't
Hear me at all.
Lest I fall off my bike
And hurt myself-
I know she will come
If I call.
(Gerry Aldridge © 2016)
Laurie Fisher Nov 2013
Floating in my head as I drift into slumber.
Awakening to reach and feel. Feel that warmth.
Not coldness and tightness in my chest.
Breath the life back into me. Breath it. Breath it please.

Fear gets us all.
Grabs us tightly and is forceful and ridgid to relase.
But we can be free if we just relieve.
Relieve and retrieve our own life into ourselfs.
Just breath it breath it please.

Lonilness attacks hard
and we can't believe that anything can be strong and steady. Instead we take a step back and plead.
We're hurt and yet we hurt another in our attempt to heal.
But its not healing instead were stealing.
Draining others. Satisfying thirst. Inquenchable.
Take another sip its a sweet hurt.

So just sip it sip it until the last drop is disipating against your tounge.
Sour as vinegar in your mouth.
But your soul is tame and satisfied.
Then the wind whisps and air is knocked back into your tight chest.
And the clean oxygen is as beautiful as the warming sensations pulsing though your blood stream
But your energy is drained.
A pained soul drinks up.
Your heated blush face turns pallor and your extremities run cold as ice.
The vice drinks you up.
Keep on sippin until you disipate.
Alexa Mar 2020
You Lured me in with your
beautiful words that made
me feel so whole. I felt so
lucky.

Then out of nowhere it
was just pure silence.
I can't tell you how many
times I would pace back
and forth constantly checking
my phone and felt sick.

You faded in and out of my life
like a ghost, messing with my
head. Filling it with empty
promises and false hope.

you brought me so much
pain and confusion. For
months I would feel
like I was getting picked
up only to get knocked
back down.

but not matter what every time
your name popped up
my stomach got butterflies.
you always knew how to make
me feel weak all over again.
Brent Kincaid Apr 2016
His owner didn't quite know why
Maybe asthma or an allergy,
Maybe it was a cough or even a sigh.
He was a cat and that was no mystery.
He looked like a normal pet,
Colored just like a giraffe,
But, often at the strangest times
He made a sound just like a laugh.

One day a salesman came to call.
Bliggle's owner was a widow.
And sitting with Bliggle by her side
They watched him through the window.
The salesman knocked, she let him in,
He looked at her and Bliggle.
He told her all about his wares.
And the cat began to giggle.

The man went red and sweaty faced
And waved his hands and told her
She must buy his 'Whizzyclink'!
He would stay there until he sold her.
The widow said she didn't care
If the thing cost a buck and a half.
She wouldn’t buy the kind of gizmo
That could make a kitty cat laugh.

The salesman fumed and shouted then
So she opened up the door.
The salesman went all afluster,
Then he stomped across the floor.
The spoilsport then cursed at her
And called her 'an old bat',
And in his rage and fury
He tripped over Bliggle the cat.

Not hurt at all, the cat just sat
And stared at him awhile.
The salesman gathered up his goods
And Bliggle slowly smiled.
The salesman soon gave up his trade,
He could not live down the rumor,
That he lost his art to pitch a sale
To a cat with a sense of humor.
wounded words Jul 2013
An ode to all the boys I have loved,
even just for a night.
The words would never escape my weathered lips, but loving you on those nights was more
than just a trip.

Pt. 1
you were my first kiss,
the first boy i felt i have ever missed.
like most people since,
the night our lips first met
was also the last.
with shaking hands you gave to me
those half melted chocolates and that
stupid teddy bear
your mother helped you buy at the store.
with nothing to give
i leaned in my 12 year old head-
you half missed
and ran giggling away

Pt. 2
you were the one who made me stand tall
but i was too afraid to fall
the only boy whose words were true
i almost let myself love you
wrapped in your arms
the world could not exist
we made plans & plans
so naturally i let
my bad habits and gypsy soul
take me away
to darker days

i can't remember the color of your eyes
and it kills me
2 years later i saw you again
it was dark in a room of a hundred people
and unknowingly i stood next to you
you talked of old times & i swallowed your words
along with that cinnamon poison.
we danced until oblivion knocked us down
and on that floor
i opened hell's door
exploring your mouth
like i've been lost for too long
your hands did the same
to my 17 year old body
and it brought to us notorious fame
i told myself it was just unfinished business
but really I needed to relive your kiss

Pt. 3
stuck in my old ways
i craved an escape
you were there that night
and my morals took flight
dancing in the dark
my mind fell apart
and i found myself kissing you
like i had been missing you
my messy eyes and liquid lies
told me i might as well die

Pt. 4
with you i tried again
to let myself go
your words seemed so true
but never did i know they could sting so cruel
in that old bed
with our old friends
you showed me what butterflies were.
drowning out the other ones
your shirt left sight
and you gave me another bite
too fast it seemed
i stopped to plead
because this is the first time
we've met
and your lies told me
you wanted to know me.
alone in the car
we kissed again
i never knew that would be
the last time
i felt i could fly

Pt. 5
to me you felt like a dream
every summer with you was atop lake serene
never sober
never closer
those drunken kisses
got me high every time
but i still wanted to climb
burned by the others
my heart still fluttered
i poured my soul out to you
over my grandma's old *****
and you never got my last name
for i feared one day you would say it in vain
that last summer i saw you
you told me you loved me-
i've haven't seen you since

Pt. 6
for now i almost have no words
you threw my heart at such a curve
always, from afar
i wanted you near my heart
and one day you made your way there
but let's be fair
you were drunk
and your mouth how it stunk
you were on those substances i could smell
you saw stars in my eyes
so i led you towards my sky
you kissed me then and there
i loved you like air was a foreign concept
and thought how wonderful it would be
to be the one you were thinking of

Pt. 7
I found you lurking at the bottom
of the ocean and I  let myself drown just
so I could kiss you but
they never tell you how it feels
to realize you are the wrong person and
I'm wishing I could
drag you back out to sea

Pt. 8
By this time I knew I had a problem
And you came out of nowhere-
Just in time to watch me tumble down
You grabbed me and instead of falling to the floor I fell into your lips and it felt so wrong I wouldn't wish it upon anyone

Pt. 9
I think you deserve more than a verse but darling we know time and there's no time for that
Shaking legs and shaky breaths in that old room with the furnace burning way too warm
You were everything in that moment and I haven't stopped thinking about it since
Mike Hauser Dec 2013
They said that he's a genius
Called him a Wonder kid
Which made the whole town wonder
Why he did the things he did

Why he climbed the water tower
That early morn in June
After all what makes us all
Do the things we do

He took a rifle with him
A back pack full of shells
When he turned the town that day
Into a living hell

His mama always warned him
A soul is never free
That is why he sold it
To the devil that day for cheap

He'd always been the perfect model
From his early days of youth
Teachers thought that he was special
If you must know the truth

There was never any talking back
It was always sir or ma'am
No ones sure why or when he snapped
You'll get no answers from the dead

He packed himself a brown bag lunch
Expecting to be awhile
To quench his thirst a Capri Sun
As he sipped he smiled

His mama always warned him
A soul is never free
That is why he sold it
To the devil that day for cheap

His very first victim
He selected randomly
Never did they find out
What knocked them off their feet

As soon as the shots rang out
It was madness and mayhem
It took the town a little while
To find from where the shots they came

By the time it was that registered
At least fifteen were down
From mothers holding babies
To couples holding hands

From the central park to the school yard
And terror in between
He left a trail of pain and sorrow
Mixed with misery

Was it a curse or a blessing
When he suddenly stopped the way he did
With a back pack still full of ammo
He stood and stepped off of the ledge

His mama always warned him
A soul is never free
That is why he sold it
*To the devil that day for cheap
Inspired by the song "Ticking"
Written by Elton John & Bernie Taupin
RH 78 Feb 2015
Innocent and inebriated.
In the dead of night she staggered.
Young at heart but intoxication excess had made her slightly haggard.
Emotionally charged with deep rooted scars upon her heavy heart.
Shadows clouding judgment her world had been torn apart.
No one knew her plight, her fight, the tragedy she'd faced.
Take the story one year back where the cause is easily traced.
Her little boy of five years old
Alfie was his name
Knocked down by a drunk
Killed stone cold
What an awful shame!
A downward spiral an empty house
The result of a mothers loss
Equating to another drunk
Who couldn't give a toss!
Jennifer Dec 2014
I initiated the confession,

A confession marked by much importance of my feelings to you.

Only a page long, and unromantic as it is, presented on a blank Word Document.

A confession planned for years,

As my mind was pressuring itself, searching for the most appropriate words to be put across.

They were sent.

All sent to the rightful owner who deserves to hear the honesty, sincerity and generosity of a naive yet passionate girl in love,

It ended in an awkward pose.

With no sincere reply, but a mere greeting to imply that I should give up.

I knocked my head a few times,

But there was no revelation.

I imagined myself being stabbed to death,

But nothing was telling me to stop.

Then I thought,

"How could it stop when my heart has stopped functioning long ago?"

I cried.
This poem depicts the persona's desperation for the lover's reciprocation for her declaration of love through a written confession.
Marieta Maglas Sep 2015
(Frederick was talking with Geraldine.
Frederick said,)



''My love for you will last forever; '' ''Our love must be strong
In this crowded emptiness of the wars around us.
You're a dreamer; '' ''I want to secure your life from wrong
And to do everything possible to make you be happy; thus,



(Frederick continued,)



I'll be sure that our child will grow up to discover his skills
And talents; '' ''He will be a successful man like you.
You're a good trader, but you take risks because you like these thrills.''
''I want to make money to buy a galley for my crew.



(Frederick continued,)




Spending less money than we make is essential to our
Financial security; '' '' We have the responsibility
To provide what is necessary for our life to grow in power.''
''To buy too many gowns and shoes you have an ability.



(Frederick continued,)



You've made this carrack be a luxury one before
Looking like a wreck; '' '' I wanted rich passengers to embark
On our ship; this way we could earn money; '' ''My dear, it's war,
But there is absolutely nothing wrong with this spark



(Frederick continued,)



Of interest as long as you don’t go overboard.
Keep this unnecessary spending to a minimum.
This employee holding multiple jobs is all we can afford.
I've spent all my money on this carrack, causing pandemonium.''



(Geraldine said,)



''For example, Maya is an excellent cooker and a healer
At the same time; '' my love for you is passionate and true.
I've married you without your parents' consent; I was a reeler
While not knowing if I could have a future together with you,


(Frederick continued,)


But I wanted this family; '' '' You were well aware
Of the ships' condition and progress, but you weren't conscious
Of the importance of a fire on this wooden ship; in despair,
You've spent the money for food and fuel without my consent.



(Geraldine continued,)



That money had been given by the passengers to embark.
Now, everything is gone; all remained is almost nothing.''
''I had to merchandise and resist the attacks; '' ''A strong remark!
I remember that you sold some jewelry to buy something.''



(Frederick replied,)



''I remember that I've tried to face your jealousy
Because I love you very much; I remember that I was
In danger and I had to go on and face our destiny
As nothing was happening; our hope is stuck underneath its claws


(Frederick continued,)



And I don’t remember if you took time out to support me
During any rather difficult day; you think like a slave
Lacking responsibility while you want to be
An Italian woman; '' '' I open my heart to crave



(Geraldine continued,)




That these slaves lack the ability to run their own lives
And are therefore happy with a system where their lives are run
By others; '' '' glad to know they're happy as husbands and wives.
There will be no slave to row on this ship under the sun.''



(Geraldine said,)



''Some of your sailors used much more freedom than I did, ''
''They were punished for what they did wrong; '' '' This latest mistake
Could lead us to death; '' ''I was caught in a trap, God forbid! ''
''You had no sailing experience; some dreamers must be awake.



(Geraldine continued,)


You trusted people too much and verified them too little.
''These pirates fight for a freedom that does not exist
While using all kinds of scams, while their life is a riddle,
While not being honest, and while hunting in the devil's mist.




(Frederick continued,)


The fight for an alleged brotherhood, equality,
And freedom promoted by these pirates is different
From any honest fight because they don't have dignity.
They destroy its ideal sense while being indifferent.’’



(Geraldine said,)



''Why do you say this? '' '' Some pirates accused me of supporting
A repressive policy against slavery while providing
Some groups with weapons and they still didn't stop annoying
Me because they wanted to know my secrets; my suffering



(Frederick continued,)



Fellows couldn't benefit from moral support; '' ''Tell me,
Some people like the aunt of Ivan could live better than
It was permissible; she had to pay bills; she wasn't free.''
''She didn't want to be enslaved, beaten and ***** by her man.



(Frederick continued,)



It seemed that this situation had been abnormal for her
Until she turned the idea upside down; she couldn't deal
With all her problems besides running away from the star
Of the poor voices; '' '' so contrary to her ideal



(Geraldine continued,)



Was the reality of Ivan's mother that she was
Ashamed to continue her life, although she loved Ivan
Very much; her dignity was destroyed; I suffer because
I left my mother to marry you; no friendship is better than



(Geraldine continued,)


The relationship between a mother and her daughter.
This is why I appreciate the friendship between
Francesca and Chiara; '' '' these things don't seem to matter
When Chiara is not sincere; what happened could have been foreseen.''



(Geraldine said,)


'' I think that Chiara tries to compensate the absence
Of the missing mother; both Chiara and Carla are strong
Women and I've learned a lot from them, because, in silence,
They suffered for saving their husbands they wanted to belong



(Geraldine continued,)



While protecting their children. My family must be as strong
As my parents taught me to be; '' ‘‘the women always say
They suffer in a marriage while being humble all lifelong,
But they want to prove that, without them, their men may go astray.''



(Fargo knocked at the door and gave them a letter, which was sent by the governor to inform them that the missing gold had been found.)



(...to be continued...)

Poem by Marieta Maglas
Pretty Panic Oct 2014
bruised breathing
it's a funny feeling
like the universe inside my chest has tilted off it's axis
is spinning through the milky way of my veins
destroying everything it was never meant to collide with
won't admit that you're the catalyst
but you loosened the screws
of my locked tight jaw and when the hinges swung free
you stepped back and whispered "be free"
as if you were the chains shakling me to the concrete
stained red with my lack of hope
but you never understood
you still never do
it wasn't your fingers around my neck you were unlocking
with that skill you have for repairing rusty things
it was the noose i'd shafted around my throat
out of steel chains
each link a notch in my spine that knocked me to the floor
when the blow was delivered
i settled into the grooves of your existence too nicely
forgot that they were trenches
that this is a war
now i've covered my ears from the sounds of explosion
rocking through your gaze
sleep with my finger on the trigger just in case
there's a reason to pull you back from the edge
i never do anything with a helmet and i guess i'm learning that
not all head wounds are going to leave you black and blue
i can't decide if the pounding in my skull is
a desperate attempt for my body
to keep feeling something or if it's my mind
telling me it'll all be over soon
i called us a storm once and i guess i forgot that every
hurricane has exactly one quiet zone
and that it doesn't sit still for anyone
i'm no longer in your gaze
i'm just the aftermath
of a bomb that was never meant to go off
blowing too soon
like an unlit fuse sparked at the base
like fireworks behind my eyes from lack of oxygen
when i hold my breath to keep from
screaming for you, baby,
i take burn victim to a whole new level
every inch of my flesh is seared with the memory of you
and how you held me together
you were my glue
and i pretended i was a brick wall
cemented in my solidity and incapable of crumbling
because i didn't think you'd feel very safe
inside walls so easily knocked down
it's my fault the city's been evacuated
i knew the limits of the towering glass structures
built them up with my own trembling hands
and so when you sit there
cheek bleeding from a stray shard of my
self destruction
remember that i was too selfish
to save you
Cassandra R Jan 2014
I found myself by your
old apartment. I remember
the first time I had trudged
up these stairs, the first time my hands
had touched the bronze ****
to open your front door. Being here,
again, was not the same.
You were not here.

I knocked on the front door, greeted
by your old roommate, who had
the same delightful grin plastered
on his bearded mouth. Shuffling my feet,
He invited me in.
The walls were bare, carefully decorated
with about a dozen records,
a few art pieces, and a large illuminated
OPEN sign. It looked different
than before when you were here.

I sat on the couch as he made me a cup
of coffee; I imagined you laying me
carefully on the stained, white couch.
What would it be like to look
into your eyes again? I want to see
if you could see through my eyes,
and if I could do the same. I let myself
onto your balcony to smoke a cigarette.
The smoke danced around my fingertips
as I leaned against the railing, and looked
over my shoulder, in the corner,
where I remember the first time
I wanted to kiss you.

A few years ago, at one of your
swanky parties, I was standing
on the balcony looking into the party
through the glass doors. You were
across the room, talking to a young woman
with a smile playing on your mouth.
You looked so completely engaged
in what she was saying, and your eyes gleamed
as you looked at her and touched
her softly. What would I have to do
to be that woman, so that
I may grasp your face
between my delicate hands and kiss you,
because of how beautiful you were.

As a bid your old roommate goodbye, I also
said goodbye to the building where I had fallen
for you.  Perhaps it is good that I did this,
so that I can let go of whatever I thought
we could have been.
Ignatius Hosiana Jun 2015
Once again, love knocked at my door.
Someone gorgeous I could adore.
It offered me wings to get up and fly.
I stayed put and gave it no **** try.
Love came this close, lip to lip.
And said she was mine to conquer and to keep.
Love rested her soft hand in mine to hold.
Promised warmth to save me this cold.
Love said she's seen doubt in my mind.
But thought they said love was blind?
Love rained down and washed my hurt.
She said she can stitch my torn heart.
She told me to give her another try.
That ain't no way she'll make me cry.
Shook me and sent volcanic shivers up
my spine.
When she said in a voice so sweet and yet so fine.
That if I let her in,she'd forever be mine.
Sounding honest ,charming and divine.
*There was no way this could have been a lie.
This was my only chance to recover and kiss my suicide plans goodbye.
I was lonely for months high and dry all I did was cut myself and cry.
I've spent months in the dark
searching for someone to be my guide and light me a spark.
All I had was a broken heart and cracked lips with blood that
dripped out from time to time.
I was left alone with nothing but agony and pain
A situation I won't deny drove me insane.
Love came over, dried my tears and helped me get up and put on these wings.
I told her as I let out my gentle sigh
That I might as well give them a try.
Moonlight like rain came down pouring on us both.
The flowers around us giggled and blushed.
She touched my hand and brushed the chaos I had off.
She softly caressed my skin with her fingertips.
And before I knew it she snatched a kiss and washed me from sin.
That was the moment my heart felt another love story was about to begin
(A collaboration done by Ignatius and Carolin)
Bold is Carolin,italics is Ignatius :))
Sarah Caroline Aug 2010
i’m sorry that i held your hand. it wasn’t mine to hold.

i’m sorry if i hurt you when you knocked me out stone cold.

i’m sorry that i never told you thanks for all you’ve done.

you used to mean the world to me. you left. that world just spun.

we used to talk for hours about the future, here and now.

i used to look to you when i just didn’t know how

to deal with life eternal and face what i had become,

and the next day loomed before me, and my head just ached and swum.

i think you’d hate this poem cause the rhyming’s too cliche

for your post modern point of view that defines the words you say.

i think you’d like the idea of me missing you to death.

cause you’d like the way those memories catch my throat and steal my breath

i don’t hate myself anymore - that day did finally come.

i still wish you’d been with me when i got off that plane in rome.

i wish that you could see me now as i emerge from deep inside.

you could if you wanted to, but who am i kidding? you’ve just got too much pride.

so just sit there, ponder abstract things, think thoughts deep and profound.

pray to the universe. one day it just might come around.

i think of you now and again and wonder why on earth

i wasted so much time asking you what i was worth.

i think of you and sigh, and then i smile because i know

we’ll be at a stoplight one day and you’ll look out your car window

and see me in my car singing with my head held high

and you’ll think of who i used to be. and for the first time

in such a long time,

you’ll cry.
written 2009
Dorothy A Oct 2013
As Lewis walked up to the door, it strangely felt like he had been here before. But he hadn't. She had moved here three years ago, and he never saw the place. It smelled like Nina's home alright, though. The faint whiff of hydrangeas, of roses, and of other flowers caught he keen nose, and he breathed in deeply and smiled reassuringly to himself. The he became serious, as if he had no right to smile.

Was this the right thing to do? He hoped so. Time would tell. It felt as if it was almost yesterday, instead of six years ago, as he knocked on her door.

After a few knocks, a minute or two, Nina opened the door to her house. Someone had to be home, for there was a car in the driveway. As she looked upon him, Lewis expected her to slam the door shut in his face, but she also acted as if she had just seen him yesterday. And it seemed like no big deal to her.

Without much emotion on her face, she left the screen door shut, but she kept the inner door open. Walking away, it was like she expected him to follower her non-verbal lead. He did, hesitantly.

In the kitchen, Nina poured him a cup of coffee. "You hungry?" she asked him. "I am about to put some cinnamon roles into the oven. I'm going to open up a can from the fridge."


"Oh?" Lewis responded, trying to be nonchalant, trying to hid the nervousness in his voice. "Not from scratch?" His heart was practically beating out of his chest.

Nina's back was towards him. She was finishing some dishes in the sink. "Yeah, I know I was always Betty Crocker. But I'be learned to make short cuts, and it tastes just fine. Makes life easier to not do everything like Grandma did it."  

After she separated the rolls apart, and stuck them into the oven, she just kept going about her business. She started to open some mail and sorted the items into piles of importance and priority, and into a pile that could wait.

Lewis was shocked. He couldn't believe her composure. After a while, she turned around, leaned against the counter top, and she acted like she didn't have a care in the world. She didn't look one bit stressed, angry, sad, shocked, disgusted--or anything.

Finally, Lewis said, "Nina, I don't get it." He felt itchy, and tense, as if he could scratch his skin off, as if he was waiting for a bomb to drop. "Why aren't you telling me to get the hell out of her...to go ***** off...or call me every name in the book."

Nina just looked him up and down. He began to chuckle, nervously. "Come on, Nina! I am surprised you just don't grab that pan of hot rolls in the oven, and whack me in the head with them!"

In response, Nina still said nothing, acting as if nothing ever happened.

Becoming quite unsettled with her unexpected composure, he went on. "I mean...come on..scream at me. Cuss me out! Slap me! Punch me! Something, for God's sake!"

Nina raised an eyebrow, and tried to resist smiling. She was waiting patiently for him to explain himself, not to go on like this. "Is that what you want, Lewis? Is that why you came her? To beat you into oblivion with a pan of hot cinnamon rolls?" She didn't try to make him look foolish--he was doing a good job of that on his own.

Lewis turned red in embarrassment, and started to smirk. "Well...yeah...would make more sense to me."

The timer went off and the rolls were done. Putting her oven mitts on, Nina pulled them out of the oven and let them cool on top of the counter. The silence was eerie, awkward.

She poured him another cup of coffee, and finally addressed the elephant in the room. As he still looked up at her, dumbfounded by her, she said, "Lewis...if you have the ***** to come here...than I can certainly let you in and hear you out."

With that said, she filled a plate full of rolls, places them in the center of the table, pulled out a chair and sat down across from him at the table. "I'm listening", she said, her expressions still low-key. Yet Lewis thought that her eyes and mouth seemed ready to mock him, positioned to put him in his place. His guilt wouldn't allow him to think, otherwise.

Why would she serve him food and coffee? Why not just get it all into the open and demand that he spill his guts?

Lewis didn't want to beat around the bush any longer, but spoke plainly in his confession. "Nina, what can I say? I'm an ***." She didn't nod her head in agreement, nor say that he sure was an ***, yet a "look of  suspicion was growing upon her face.

"OK, OK", he went on. "I should never have left you--of all days! What a frickin' wimp! I should have manned-up and told you I wasn't ready to get married. Instead, I stood you up at the church...of all places...in front of your family...your friends. A complete no-show--I made a mockery of that day! It was supposed to be one of the best...and I made it the worst! Some in my family haven't really gotten past it or have forgiven me. Not fully. A few barely talk to me. My best friend, Steve, thinks I'm a *****--a dumb fool!"

Nina sighed with relief. This was what she wanted to hear. The tears started flowing.

Lewis told her, "So I just don't get it. I don't get why you are not furious with me! It just blows my mind!"

Lewis grabbed for another cinnamon role, and Nina handed him a napkin. She wasn't crying anymore, and he was glad. Why was she being so nice though? So hospitable? Did she have something up her sleeve? Did she mean to get back at him? Maybe poison in one of his roles? Lewis had to laugh at himself. Actually, that might alleviate some of his guilt right now.  

Picking at her role, Nina explained, first more sharply. Then she was soft in speech. "It's not all about you, ya know! Look, Lewis, don't think that for a moment that just because it is more OK now that it was OK back then! Well...I guess you already realize this. You see, I'm different now...changed...grown a lot since. I did a lot of soul searching, lots of growing."

"I can see that. It's wonderful."

"And I wondered what I did wrong...at first. Then I hated you, blamed you. I wished that I never said I would marry you. I did plenty of screaming at you--plenty. I bring things in a rage--mirrors, a clock, a dish or two--bruised my fists up pounding things."

She paused and continued, all the time looking at the intricate, lace doily on the center of the table, under a vase of fresh daisies. Finally, Lewis saw the gamut of emotions. In one moment, her face would pinch in frustration and anger. It would then evolve into a soft sadness, and other emotions within.

"Wasn't so composed about you back then, Lewis. Let's see...I swore at you. I wished you were dead. I ripped up every picture of you...put some in the shredder, wishing they were you, instead..prayed that you would die. Bitterness isn't event he word for it. I thought you were the worst thing that happened to me, that you ruined my life forever. I cursed you up and down, Lewis. I'm sure I even invented some new curse words."

That was enough said. She looked up at him and slightly smiled. Lewis smiled back, for at least she felt real to him now, quite natural. She admitted, But I think I cried far more than I hated you. I still loved you."

Lewis wanted to sit right next to her and hold her. "Oh, baby...I'm so sorry..."

Nina quickly interjected. "Honey, you weren't ready for marriage. We were both young, only in our mid twenties...we thought we had it so together. It took me a while, but I finally realized that you needed to find out who you really were, came to that conclusion for a while now. And, boy, did I need to get to know myself more, too!"

"No!", he insisted, emphatically. "Don't make excuses for me! I did not do right by you!"

Nina reached across the table and put her hand upon his. "It seemed like hell at the time, but I needed to learn about me, too! Crazy as it sounds....if it did not happen...I never would have..."

She stopped short. Lewis had tears in his eyes, and one began to roll down his cheek. "Met Gary", he said, finishing her sentence for her.

Surprise flashed across her face. "You did your homework!" Nina stated. She was quite impressed and smiled.

"I wanted to know what happened to you", Lewis responded. "You probably wonder why I didn't walk away for good. I intended to....but you deserve some answers, and I'm here to give them to you. Sure, I could have walked away, and stayed away. I could have saved myself the embarrassment of facing you, again. I could have pretended to have some dignity left."

"But you do have some dignity left", she insisted, sweetly. "It takes a lot of courage to do this. I'm glad you did."

"Are you happy now? I mean...I hope you are."

"Very."

Lewis didn't even have to ask. He could already tell. They sat in silence for a moment. Nina finally said, excitedly, "Gary's a great guy! We both love art. We both love nature, the outdoors, to travel.  He loves other cultures, and learning other things--like languages." Her face was beaming with pride. "Gary is trying to learn Portuguese and brush up on his Spanish. This year ,we are planning a trip to Portugal and Spain!"

Nina always did keep a nice home, and she decorated it with art that was acquired from different places. Where Lewis didn't have a sense of what looked good, she had a good sense of style. When they were both together, the talked of going to different places that they never traveled to--Africa, Asia, Australia--backpacking across Europe. They were big dreams.

Nina did not want Lewis to feel punished, but his agonizing expression of remorse would have been punishment enough. It already was for him, and it showed his sincerity.

"You know how I met Gary?"

Lewis shook his head. "A support group for divorced people! she admitted, gleefully, as if that was the most amazing thing to say.

Lewis looked embarrassed. Perhaps, he misunderstood her.  "What? For divorced people? You were never married before Gary, were you?"

Perhaps, there was something she wasn't telling him. Nina burst out laughing, seeming so carefree as she threw her head back and clapped her hands. Her laughter was beautifully contagious, and Lewis loved to hear it. "No, of course not!" she said. I have no secret past before I met you...or even now. It's just that a divorce support group was the closest support I could get. After all, there are no support groups for jilted brides and grooms!" She laughed even more.

They were talking so easily now, getting along so well. But why? It still seemed so surreal. Lewis laughed along with  her, as if this was just an encounter  to revisit the good, old times. When hearing of Gary, Lewis felt the pain of his loss, as well as some jealousy rise up. As if he had the right!  

He truly was an ***! He never deserved her!

Nina soon became serious, again. "So did you just come here to say you were sorry?" She was thinking he wanted something else from her, something else to say.

Lewis was once poised to take off in a real hurry. Now, he felt more at home. "Yeah...I came to say I was sorry to you...hoping to stop feeling sorry for myself... I guess. I'm wishing I could just turn back the clock. I swear I'd do it all again, differently."

"But the past cannot be change, and we both know it", Nina stated, resolutely.

He nodded in agreement. She didn't burst his bubble, for to think otherwise was a childish, fantasy.

"I don't know what else to say, Lewis". Nina's eyes reflected sorrow, not pity. "Life does really go on...if we let it. We have to let it, though." She now turned the conversation onto him. " So how about you? I hope you have some good news to tell me, something in your life."

He shrugged his shoulders. "I've had a few, short relationships", he admitted. Where there any displeasing looks on her face? Lewis didn't notice anything, now. "Not all that bad, I should say. But I just don't want to settle down until I finish my Masters in business. I'm nearly done."

"Good for you! That is great news!" Nina truly was glad for him, and it just showed him what a great woman she was. But then Lewis already knew this.

"Are you still teaching?" he asked, hoping she was, for she strove for the job, and loved it so much.

"Yes, I teach kindergarten, and Gary teaches science at Darland College."

"Well, what do you know? Both teachers. That sounds like a perfect match for you. And what about kids? None yet?"

"In time...sure. We just aren't ready right now."

She offered him more coffee, but Lewis declined. He was thinking he should go soon.  He said. "You know we used to talk about having a boy and a girl--and in that order, too!"

Nina rolled her eyes. "Yeah, boy oh boy. Like we had complete control over it".

They both laughed. It was fine to reminisce, and they did for a while, Lewis realizing that this would be the last time. He lived three hours away. And why should he come back? He did what he set out to do.

Nina would tell Gary about the visit after he came home from work. As husband and wife, there were not secrets between them. Nina was sure he would be surprised,f or his ex-wife never came to apologize for the pain she caused him.

"Gary's wife had an affair on him, and then left to marry that man", Nina revealed. "Thank God there were no children from that marriage."

"Wow, that is ******! Thank God I never did that to you!. I would have never cheated with another woman...or I might never have tried to face you. It would be easier to slink back into the ditch and stay there! This is hard enough as it is!"

"Maybe so, Lewis. Maybe so." Nina quickly added, "You aren't a bad man. I know this and I wholeheartedly mean this, so don't keep beating up on yourself. I've forgiven you for everything. I forgave you then, and I forgive you now. "

"Nina, that means everything to me!" He started to choke up, and more tears came.

Listen, Lewis. You need to forgive you, too."

He lowered his gaze, as Nina held his hand and gave it a squeeze. Never was Lewis so contrite before. Like many men, he never was overly emotional, and so this different side of him was a refreshing experience.

"Yeah,  it's time to move on", he stated, using a napkin as a tissue.

"Yes, it is. And I loved what you did. It was helpful for us both. It's the closure we need."

"Yep", he said, wiping away more tears.

"You are a guy with guts, Lewis. you do have courage, and more integrity than you think, and I hope you see it."

Nina offered him more coffee, and he accepted. Why couldn't they chat a little while longer? It was no harm, and it made the visit even more meaningful. Sitting and shooting the breeze more was not a bad thing.

The kitchen still held the fragrant smell of cinnamon, as they polished off more rolls and spoke more of good times.
West of a mutilated day, wormwood salts are scattered for some wild-chinned Controllers on a high pinnacle with viva vox in the Mandrake, Vernarth's house of Orion:

Saint John the Apostle says the proverbial Psalm: “In the lofty Cage, Gregorian sylphs, with skillful gestures and mania for cheering, are graced for coming to the Way of the cheap and venerable souls that are made up of the bodies of the evil-born on their railing. , in quagmire of swallowing spittle where the cold winter is banished, to jump from the cold oriental, having to walk with the elbows, and with the daring screams of the Sylphs that shake themselves among the foggy and fleshy tangle with rags and fur cloths flying smoothly through the tops of the oak trees in smoke to purge for Vernarth! Gospel, gospel in the barn of the delicate humus was felt, and that it was refracted in the refined forest with philosophical sacred love. Lord, all of us who are because we are, are you Lord ..., all in my exercises of loving gaze, are channeled by the indexes of my thumb to the little finger at the bottom of the sea, and float again from the little finger to the bottom of the surface. Waving in the transience of the world and holding back, Father God thunder, this with laryngitis when he outlines himself with the vast earthly sight, he covers with his right hand, the phlegm of ***** that made him drive an empty tremor, in my lack of security he testified by singing thousands and millions of choirs at this auction. The first ring of the profile will be carried by Jesus light, rubbing his back with some eyelashes of a drunk beetle, while the beetle will collect water between its extensions that will wail real needs of every morning albi - rosaceous that will travel in a circle towards the auditory of the Last auctioned saying: "As I have not to be where I was and was ..., if at night my beloved morning row impulsively and goes against it so as not to stumble into the night ...". Each cut piece of the dermis will have to be auctioned, I had Faith and the screenplay, encapsulated and embedded in each hope of the ramshackle flock, the impiety-weary ogre needed to stow his empty viscera with the cloth of the celestial kingdom, which at auction was beginning to squeeze and vanish when regurgitating smoothies and disintegrated spaces of belonging of the devotees of Vernarth. The writing is signed with lupus, this Lucia emanated from the morning resentment of skin envy, and from the massif drenched in anarchy and city archeology, lying hesitantly ..., as if the forest gave it some indication of rebirth, under the shadow of twinkling doubt, from the high front where they were nuanced over the engendered banners of truth, elucidating the forbidden and true matrix.

Adelimpia, Vernarth's grandmother, was squatting cutting the drool from the dwarf tree that lost a forage, at around 6:30 p.m. on the 39.9th day of a supposed 14th month of another dimension, almost winding up in a tangled series of productive hesitations and rituals, taking her victorious chariot in Lent where the teacher without felt traction, weave sprinkles of forgiveness on her distributor, starting her shaft and not her running engine, she already knew herself as a commoner with the wake of a ship without knowing where to go. Those who did not see themselves more backward intrigued to be part of the central bar of the rocker of the nymphs in their stadium, with a yawning lip where no one was invited. Mega-watt snitches go to the sacristan, breaking speeds of intangible entities that abide by her law, as a sage vilified in her secular realm, even in nowhere, the atmospheric larynx hissed widening through the flakes of the auctioned field, Joshua leaping with her. Cranky black horse Equus, with his anthropomorphic hooves, accelerated with action that put him among the lost belongings of the plateau, whose east limited him to two half-quarters of each other, and two-thirds slowing the sunset from ruby to ruby, brightening in the shades of green and green. Vernarth  Bernardolipo's father swallowed crops, from whose movements were born out of place gestures of residence, parturient fairies appeared emerging at once, or perhaps not emerging, the afternoon crushes the unplayable sun, Hugh and Anne covered their supra orbital eye areas, more towards a hillside where thousands of repertoires were being knocked down, and copious tableware with caked sugar, which seemed to reduce the acoustics from the beginning in what seemed solidly to fade to postulate in new shades of the weary rubbed rainbow, like thousands of shades doing the times of zascandil  in a curled comb, re-sprouting certain storm deities in the natural bow of the wind entangled in each stratus, sprinkling on the hectares of Possessions, standard deeds, sales orders, mutual funds, bonds ... the coffers and the earthly decomposed. Before each onslaught, a highly dense fog arose, highly ignored, anti-critical, and more disparaging of amassing a high scarcity with a local, in his quintals of his last bread for the flock. Lashes that exceed the grammage, foliage from leaf to leaf, from today until tomorrow, in a traveling satyr of dry leaves, "The Sphincter of the World will need Purgative ...".

Marathon of poisonings,… Lord, you have looked me in the eye; with your boat I will follow you, to your privileged perspiring cinnamon dock with various vociferous songs. What fared more than seven zeros, now they will be eaten by rodents, Lord attend my prayers, the pink mast has been sailing at several knots from the north, and it is rapidly losing its polar location, between verbs never traveled or driven, I dared to show off that the path of the gospel in small distant fragments will abound in infinite space, only the one that predominates will glide over my forehead with an accumulation of everything seen and that today in this sale; where everyone you own and care for, like a baby in front of a dissimilar kinship of good adventure and progeny that will leave your hands. "  

Etréstles says: "Soft and mellifluous presumptions ..., where do I have to look if nothing is heard? What is proposed and permeates the law of possessing and not, perhaps the strap reaches an infinite house, where the sun breaks down ..., the spout of my minimal rebirth slowly turned it into my reoriented defined cell. My grandfather Joshua fertilizes the new sales every day with his hooves bandaged with hemp, the sebum stones since they were so are already spirited circles, the hand of the maker is being compared with his tactile sense, Kaitelka's lungs, full of phosphate residues and sulphated, for the first time they milk in medium drops on their udders, although saying and what they prefer to assert of a worthy Down! If it were not, for his regal model of cetacean ostentation, he would not be in the Horcondising taking from today, towards the end of the curtain in the regular blushes, to create the great detachment, so necessary for the pulsating plain and purge his master Vernarth . The night covers it with sulfur oceanic satin, with the spauto of its jet and a magical moving game. Everyone was distracted when she circled over the routines of well-magnetized charms. More than two subjects were deprived of their well-placed jaw, when the overtime ran not crossing in the entire field in which she lived. It was time to unmask the interveners, the boatswain of the alfalfa field had been eating almonds with oil from the sole of a Joshua bototo shoe, she folded her wings at halftime to take a modest breath, to resume weak paths, deprived of confidence and not. To know who they would obey and to whom they would yield the fruit of their old and stock market work in the garden. Chaos for them, light of Lights, for those affiliated with the ruler who is Joshua, who will live behind a makeshift Patagua tree, erecting  aquisus tents and the dogmas of tomorrow. The magnificent concessions in the Horcondising massif continued to fall precipitously; some rummaged through their accounting almanacs, distanced and squandered their exquisite profits. The stagecoach is moving away, and the barrels of water were scarce, the aroma and tastes of roasted beef comes out over the bushes, the stores sway in a naive wind of blooming daisies, the sales were coming against the owners themselves, the taste of the laughter degraded their own present absence, the paraphernalia of the little birds on the carpet of the mountain plateau were, they began to do mercy of the tip in the exposed beams, the hundred feet with calluses came down from the semi-incinerated poles. Nothing smelled of pride anymore, just the last shadow of Joshua's Chief Sheriff; Vinicius, who thinned out the spotlights of the semi-strongmen still trying to collect his heavy wealth, now that among clouds of heavy cargo they went to give him only one habit to try to fit his body, just to wear his outfit. They looked, looked and kept looking at his octogenarian tearful sapro- genito dream, where the first dream ends, and his exile begins. Vinicius, locks the door, and starts drinking mate tea; while screams of those bad jackals were heard fighting for their inherited evils, in manners of not conquering those who lose a dream of their patriarchal courting-love, under the shadow of the most powerful bush for the rest of their lives in groves. Crumbs come off the beards of Joshua, his galvanized knife cuts multiform slices, to feed everyone equally and continue the purge of Vernarth "

The most desolate deity came; he walked in full sun, shelled and unattached, full of elongated bridles and with haste in his eyes. But not in its strides, thousands of years passed, and it brushed with my lost zeal in the quarrels of the Argolica, in the salinized and rotten feces of Eurymedousa, with its snowy and tricolor feet, hooded with its goods! , therefore, unable to sustain its own air from its nasal socket, dropping it likes brave foam that fell in the fired distance. Bad cooked fruit, with the flavor of a sleeping cinnamon stick, mitigating in its kind balsam, frayed wind yielding 360 and so many more suns, before the last one that I carry on my limbs ends. The end of the End began, in the seven ends adorning my steps. The obscene deities came, with their rebuilding geo music, breaking endometriums of goddess’s mobs and their almost massacred Pillan Mapu, among thousands that were, thousands of nowhere they are ..., in a today already anesthetized. He lies in the stench of the corrugated floor, in the wooden handles and rods stacked on the floor gesturing; the god Pillan Mapuche, under a generic vault of sleep falls into lethargy on the faces, leaving his unintelligible hollow free; and its unbalanced environment, crossing the basaltic moraine that circulated one day from the placenta of the fatigued cemetery. Dreams in kilos everywhere of pressed ducks, with dense covering and grasses on the hooves of bucephalos, crucible, living trident and extraordinary flowers ***** in floating skirmish, with dosing globules, thirst that is born from the whiteness of the first day in confessional liberation, cell of white with a looted look, shields of osculation, like icy air that transpires his ninth life and that is born from his ninth death, splinted in the face of death that mutilates his fingers when crossing his genes of perfidious and monkish plot of a life bypass. I sing or I do not sing, I lack my throne from where I observe the glances with time and impudence, possessing everything behind the back of the macabre time in counter-steps of tender golden plague, in foreign skin growing on my right blanket, from so much passing lights with cracked night outings, walking towards me, between roads and between Monday nights with faces of long and sinuous unctuous branches, with great step and size. Now I have to draw the curtain, on light lying in the shadow of an opening scattered in warm beets. With sincerity ..., and mistake there is no will to germinate in them, I will be born without being with them, to be meaningless without them ..., and that it is above other absences, with great eloquent and numerical weight on absent.

They are still plastered, washed out and with the frizzy pigments of a parnassus Paradise, where it has been intervening over its bloodless headers. Joshua walks thousands of steps on with his Equus skull, like a meridian slipping off certain rods of decay. Thus they all floated in the cephalous porous airs, with great airs of Cain collapsing on Abel recomposed in reserves of a millennium that fell twisted and stunned, captivated by an ominous word. Sendal covered themselves in bandurrias that covered the melodious icebergs of exulting individuals and swollen with passion, with their rummaging and thunderous noises going along with their flowers to the sea dissipated. My paternal grandmother was delimited; she paraded from the openings with cough-covered mounds of the frozen volcano, growing reflective slits of dense gradation in the nervousness of the overhang and angry sighing heat, in all the vertiginous and venerable spirits numbed by the darkness of so many sorrows on their bluish heads. Eurymedousa, already ill-fated to continue in Rhodes, appeared on stilts and with agonizing lights and yielding to the crossbows of the centaurs gagged by the Beauties; they consisted of their seesaws before the agreement with the Master, who gave us her Hellenic manifestos, and no less to others. My uncle King Arthur carried news of the locked consonants of his string and with a riding crop for his steed, tangled in rows that tore his face into small abscesses on his face, which were superimposed on those capillaries of the sweat of Heaven. Blessed Lord, the knee had grafts of golden steel, the horns of the radio sol brego that were broken in its metaphysical pregnancy, and its food collector that had solid gold baths towards a tabernacle fussing through its mucous orifices of alfalfa with the a flavours of irradiated cattle . He paraded with his loving mount flying down his track and kept clueless, at times he ran so swiftly that he crossed evil omens with Joshua, he was seen as weak and white in insulting slanders, Tamayo; his friend, who was a Talamite native, followed him on horseback, his son rode the sheep every summer, passing wool of pure holy insignia of a healthy man.
Along the banks of the reeds, he came riding on a donkey, Edward my paternal uncle, the third of Adelimpia, came three steps before his donkey, and he counted three times before riding him with provisions for good waters, wrapped in an energetic fire of Saturday tobacco in his mouth in mourning, who lovingly watching over himself, looking at today towards a peak for his sheep, looking at them for a manger of borders and tiny hunching phrases of black song about legends of the offender, which tempted to show off invading their fields. He is to the right of his mother Adelimpia, and under the rib of his father Bernardolipo overflowing, giving sugar to the colt Dolly in the sunsets, bequeathing affection with syrup, and a thousand compliments in December of 9,900 AD, Joshua, I remained in shreds of pageantry and endless lives, I always said, my lady, here I bring you a peasant's soup in flower of primed twisted canvas, in this three-year period I must call them to dinner in past lands with sweet potatoes to eat and candlesticks of flying seeds, with eager candies of a crack and their thirsty mouths. Gentlemen, I am Edward, their son, I want to sleep in your arms, after escaping from my worst perfidious toothless bite that still hurts inside. After eating great cholesterols from all over the world, amidst the tools of my children I am, always putting a tobacco leaf caught in the scrawled pieces and in great coinciding strokes, in circles dancing to throw away the bad and broken places badly thought and done. When I get to the end I will cling to the Joshua habit and shout not to leave me alone in the middle of this world, without toasted flour, cheese and tobacco. I am not a malignant man, I am only like those of us who are far below, feeling footprints on my spine, and I do not tell my wife Molly, so that she does not lack chickpea flour for our children wrapped in regrets and ***** with hunger and light blue in goodness, like saints and media, but in the end with clear blue water in my glasses. I invite everyone to my table to dine on oceans and worlds of clear celestial light, because with this hand I break this piece; I am the Son of Adelimpia and the supplier. They brought me in anemone branches when the Lord's headache invaded him, when he felt nails in his hands, to the east of Eden, without steps or turgid edges and a rough runaway palfrey”

The Horcondising massif turned into a great mountain, Edward was in the limestone of some potters and followers of Joshua molding him, they began to bait the rope that merges the mountain range, with the valley at the foot of all the mapus, mud flowing from the monastic floods , here they polisonated in the stony atonement of each lamentable trunk. They say;… faramalla  demonion, would be with a Silfife facing the mass of the vital obstacle, with faded coffee fiber, smeared in wine and bread, with eternal vintage vine. Luccica, Vernarth's mother, tackles familiar corners, with anointed frames of fiction in irrational ergonomics…; in numerous steps that will reach your distinguished heart. An ocean of doubts has fallen due to the inheritance that has precarious injuries, of battered egos and scrubbed by undue ignorance. Mountain delusions and manias, which run through the fibrillated vigils of some soft ropes and their abundant bristles like the choppy of an echidna escaping as it tingles by my twisted temples ”. The Horcondising  tam tam modulates through its crater and its pale face of a perpetual cell. Towards the forgiveness of the primordial ones and the commiseration of the orb burying itself in creation, this sacred and over the pale Sudpichian region will rest, in the roots growling in capillaries of the carbonated earths and in its badly wounded footprints. Horcondising is in quarantine, the elevation of the constellations are hyperillusionible, they migrate Along with Albalalhue and Carnivorous, the succeeded nymph that extracts exudation from a flushed match in the palm of some ideas on rollers, higher up and on angular from other right angles. Toiling with her hands, and rubbing possessions with her mazote and her patronage full of rakes.

Etréstles says: “Beyond all metal of hatred of every god not heard, beyond all evil of timid hatred I have not heard. I hold the playful phrasing of Edenic song, which calls us in voices full of long journeys, especially on this day fading. Through the hollow, belts and picket rings breaking the timid lights of the last sunset.  Cardinals in envelopes of fragile strengths, mountains with borders and deposits in the last voluminous plagues on the mason's eye.  Binding themselves in a pile, with saffron nails in their ears, with moths that run through the unforgivable morphologies. Do not lose life, abandon all noisy fight in coalition with the uninhabited *** of coins, there are forty days left to say goodbye to the god Faramalla, who lies with closed tec, limps to his lost pupils, and the sky swirls over his day when nothing not fit for any drinkable air with light bulb. Horcodising loses millimeters within minutes and rising, towards harvests to harvests, they lose merged schedule of a time without a past, reviling themselves from a present of consanguineous evil with an abstinent future. Luccica; Vernarth's mother, she is a sylph dragged by the tempest moraines, being detached to a contemplation and intake of life. The membranes of the accordion burst, and between brittle passageways crying without union, succumb to the teachings of foolish fate, Luccica as a portion owes its origin to the sea, taking its physiognomic bark from a seal specimen of aqueous flattery, to frize it on a similar surface umlauts on the "u", with phosphorescent and indeclinable forges, making it a beautiful maternal nymph, like the beautiful female picking up a moon in her arms, clinging to a new hallucinatory satellite to engender. "Live and talk with your peer, her dazzling sneaks in and laughs at this prominent queen, to exhale on those who observe her."

End Ellipsis Chapter XXXI
Horcondising  Castle Reign - Sudpichian
Transversal Valley  the Ferments - Parapsychological Regression
Mandrake, the Wild Auction
Jim Sularz Jul 2012
© 2011 (by Jim Sularz)
(The true tale of Frank Eaton – “Pistol Pete”)

At the headwaters of the Red Woods branch,
near a gentle ***** on a dusty trail.
On an iron gate, at the Twin Mounds cemetery,
a bouquet of dry sunflowers flail.

In a grave, still stirs, is a father’s heart,
that beats now to avenge his death.
Six times, murdered by cold blooded killers,
six men branded for a son’s revenge ….

Rye whiskey and cards, they rode fast and hard,
the four Campseys and the Ferbers.
With malicious intent, they were all Hell bent
to commit a loving father’s ******.

When the gunsmoke had cleared, all their faces were seared,
in the bleeding soul of a grieving son.
Ain’t nothin’ worse, than a father’s curse,
to fill a boy with brimstone and Hell fire!

Young Eaton yearned and soon would learn,
the fine art of slinging lead.
Why, he could shoot the wings off a buzzin’ horsefly,
from twenty paces, lickety split!

Slightly crossed eyed, Frank had a hog-killin’ time,
at a Fort Gibson shootin’ match.
Upside down, straight-on and leanin’ backwards,
he out-shot every expert in pistol class.

By day’s end when the scores were tallied,
Frank meant to prove at that shootin’ meet.
That he would claim the name of the truest gun,
and they dubbed him - “Pistol Pete.”

In fact, Pistol Pete was half boy, half bloodhound,
a wild-cat with two 45’s strapped on.
In District Cooweescoowee - bar none,
he was the fastest shot around!

Pistol Pete knew his dreaded duty had now arrived,
to hunt down those who killed his Pa.
He vowed those varmints would never see,
a necktie party, a court of law.

Where a man is known by his buckskin totem,
in hallowed Cherokee land.
There, frontier justice and Native pride,
help deal a swift and heavy hand.

Pete was quick on the trail of a killer,
just south of Webber’s Falls.
Shannon Champsey was a cattle rustler,
a horse thief, and a scurvy dog!

Pete ponied up and held his shot,
to let Shannon first make a move.
The next time he’d blinked, would be Shannon’s last,
to Hell he’d make his home.

With snarlin’ teeth and spittin’ venom,
Pete struck fast like a rattlesnake.
Two bullets to the chest in rapid fire,
was Shannon’s last breath he’d partake.

Pete galloped away, hot on the next trail,
left Shannon there for a vulture's meal.
Notched his guns, below a moon chasing sun,
and one wound to his soul congealed.

There’s a saying out West, know by gunslingers best,
that’ll deep six you in a knotty pine casket.
One you should never forget, lest you end up stone dead,
“There’s always a man – just a shade faster.”

Doc Ferber was next to feel Pete’s hot lead,
“Fill your hand, you *******!”
With little remorse, Pete shot him clear off his horse,
left him gunned down in a shallow ditch.

After getting reports, Pete headed North,
to where John Ferber hunkered down.
A Missouri corner, in McDonald County,
filled with Bible thumpers in a sinner’s town.

Pete rode five hundred miles to shoot that snake,
with two notches, he welcomed a third.
He carried his cursed ball and chains,
to **** a man, he swore with words.

But John Ferber was plastered, and he didn’t quite master,
deuces wild, soiled doves and hard drinkin’.
Someone else would beat Pete, the day before they’d meet,
sending John slingin’ hash in Hell’s kitchen.

There’s a night rider without a father,
under a curse to settle a score.
In all, six murderous desperados,
Three men dead - now, three men more ….

Pistol Pete was now pushin’ seventeen,
just a young pup, but no tenderfoot.
With two men in the lead, he was quick on his steed,
to **** two brothers who killed his kin.

Pete rode up to their fence, with a friendly countenance,
spoke with Jonce Campsey, but asked for Jim.
“There’s a message from Doc, that you both need to hear,”
Pete readied his hands – both guns were cocked!

Pete continued in discourse, and got off his horse.
all the while in an act of pretense.
Jim came to the door and Pete read them the score,
and shot them both dead in self-defense.

With the help of the law, they verified Pete’s call,
then gathered any loot they found.
Laid Jim and Jonce out, in their rustic log house,
and burnt them both and the house to the ground.

Might have seemed kind of callous, but weren’t done in malice,
that those boys were burnt instead of swingin’.
They just sent them to Hell, sizzlin’ medium well,
besides, it “saved them a lot of diggin’.”

There was one man to go, he’d be the last to know,
that a hex is an awful thing.
That a young boy would grow, with a curse in tow,
to **** a man, was still a sin.

Pete garnered his will, with the best of his skills,
to take on the last of the Campsey brothers.
It would be three to one, Wiley and two paid guns,
Pete knew his odds were slim and he shuddered.

At nearly twenty-one, Pete knew he may have out-run,
his luck as the fastest gun.
This would be the ultimate test of his shootin’ finesse,
only a fool would stay to be outgunned.

But Pistol Pete weren’t no liver lilly,
and he loaded up his 45’s.
He rode into town with steely nerves,
maybe no one, would come out alive!

Pete knocked through that swingin’ bar-room door,
Wiley stood there with a possum eating grin.
He said, “Hey there kid, who the Hell are you?”
and Pete shouted, “Frank Eaton! You killed my kin!”

All four men drew quick, with guns a’ blazing,
Wiley got plugged first from two 45’s.
The bar-room crowd dispersed in a wild stampede,
everywhere, ricochetin’ slugs whizzed by!

When the shootin’ had stopped, there was just one man standin’
all four men got plugged, includin’ Pete.
But only a shot-up boy rode out of town that day,
and a Father’s curse, that played out complete –
was a bitter mistress to bury….

At the headwaters of the Red Woods Branch,
near a gentle ***** on a dusty trail.
On an iron gate, at the Twin Mounds cemetery,
a bouquet of morning glories flail.

In a grave, still deep, is a father’s heart,
that lays quiet in a peaceful sleep.
And six men dead, who now burn instead,
compliments of Pistol Pete!
This is another one of my Historical poems.   A true story about Frank Eaton, an eight year old, who witnessed the shooting death of his father.    Frank Eaton was encouraged to avenge his father's death and by the time he was 15 years old, he learned to handle a gun without equal in Oklahoma territory.   You can read about this man by obtaining a copy of his book  -  "Veteran of the Old West - Pistol Pete (1952).   Born in 1860, he lived to be nearly 98 years old.   My poem describes the events surrounding Pistol Pete hunting down the outlaws that killed his father.    I hope you enjoy the story.

Jim Sularz
Malcolm McGill Jun 2013
laying horizontally is an eastern
yoga relaxant for food babies.

I learned this while running in Chinatown
with stolen cash after a mob dinner.

the bodyguard knocked me out and my
stomach felt great as I layed their on the street.

aside from the headache,
and the mild Head-On addiction

I was fine and very sleepy.
Austen girl Sep 2016
"If you love it, let it go"

The last thing I'd want
Is freedom from you
I've knocked on a dozen doors
With my unbound hands
Still I come back, begging ..
to drag your shackles by my feet..
different scenarios cause a phantom pain
Yet under blue skies, it all stays the same..

I changed and you lived
change was death,
oblivion was static..
Keith W Fletcher Jul 2019
I saw the guys quick darting eyes
That slight jaw drop and look of surprise
I've seen It often as we walk along the park trails
And come to accept It for the truths that it details
I was 25 and she was 21 when we first met
A friends wife set me up on a blind date
That I did my best to politely refuse and...
Well you know friends wives and that debate

I rang the bell  and said Hello I'm... Here to...
The door buzzed loud and the intercom replied
Come on up left out the elevator the doors open
Here we go I muttered as I stepped inside the lift
3rd floor tile , wall hangings , plant urns and blind dates
Actually I really liked the decor that was on display
Not bright and glaring and not subdued shades of grey
I knocked on number 7 my lucky number " or was once.."
Open an inch so I started to push when it opened wide..And a beautiful smile on a beautiful face said Hi to a lucky dunce

That was almost 10 years ago now and we've been...
Let's see Married in June so in 2 months it will be 8
Sometimes life just rolls out the red carpet for those
Lucky enough to have friends with wives that
Intimidate
And funny thing is the looks she gets have increased
As the years go by she has just gotten more stunning
You know that saying..idk..oh.. something about fine wine
Anyway todays  Saturday walk through the park..was...is
Now different from all those hundreds we've taken before
Where I've walked so proud and watched guys from 10 to......aint dead yet
Try not to show too much reaction as we pass on by , but I see
I understand the reaction , and I've known how stunning she is...and yet...
As we walked beside the duck pond where we would always stop
So she could  feed the breadcrumbs that we always bring along
When I turned to hand them to her I saw that something was wrong
She turned from me and cautiously approached an old woman
Sitting alone on a bench and staring into some far away place upon closer look I could see the tears silently running down her face
So I sat down about 10  feet away   as I watched her take  a seat
Are you okay I heard her say then I felt the sun and could smell spring
To take it all in , the sounds and smells and everything I closed my eyes
It was then , without the distractions to draw my eyes , my attention
I could hear them talking as the woman sputtered a bit, but then got started  
I don't know what to do , my granddaughter lives with us and she just ten she said
This morning after I watced her off to school I accidently let her dog out
He saw a squirrel as I was entering and...and was hit by a car! He's dead
She will never forgive me she sobbed And I'll never forgive myself Never never
She will forgive you , and you will both cry together , and she will hurt
But if she lives with you she probably had other pains to deal with..yes?
Couldn't make out what the woman said but I heard Elise say that's what I wondered
So I promise you she won't hate you and she will forgive you
But for her sake and her future forgiving yourself is an absolute must
With all she's been through it wasn't her dog that she left in your care ...allowed you to share
It was her ability to breath again , her dreams instead of nightmares her love and her trust

Dogs live to chase squirrels and I'm sure she knows that
But you need to realize that she didn't give you her love and trust lightly and she won't take it back that way either
We ,my husband and I are going to brunch
and if you want to accompany us....
.afterwards -if you wish ,we will help you home
And my strong man can dig you a spot,
Then together we will bury him so..she doesn't  have to see
By leaving some cups of earth she doesn't have to
And the earth you each scatter will be...
In the days to come
A good memory to share  in the face of such a tragedy

I opened my eyes to see this woman staring at Elise and I had no idea what was to come
  Where are you going for brunch..if you don't me asking
Elise let out a subtle laugh, if you join us the choice is yours our treat
Do you know Denellies Deli on...yes we do I spoke up and it's one of our favorites
  Mine too she said with the smile like sunshine breaking through grey skies
But I was wondering about that quaint little nick- nack place next door
Do you think we could find a suitable market of some kind there
Of course we will said my lovely wife as she helped the lady rise
And that man following us is my husband David and you are  ?
Elise turned back to look at me as I fell a few paces further behind
Giving me that knowing smile and subtle nod that said
she knew that  giving them space...
....Was what was on my mind!

So yes today is the day that turned out different
Because for the very first time I realize
To really see how beautiful my wife truly is
I had to see her by closing my eyes!
On the way to Hell, I met a man
who sold counterfeit tickets to Heaven.
He was ***-bellied, bald and hunchbacked,
mothballs in his mouth and flames in his eyes.
He mumbled through consonants,
slipped over vowels and destroyed syntax,
pointing at the tickets frustratingly
at the comprehension of my confused expression.
I shook my head and moved on
as he coated the air with broken expletives.

By a bridge over a magma river,
a bird-headed demigod held a set of scales,
but he waved me through,
seeing by the weight in my eyes
that my soul’s mass had already been determined.
He whistled a tune vaguely familiar,
a desert swansong of a dying missionary.

The road rose slightly, and at the apex
I saw the city in a foul-smelling valley.
Blanketed by smog, I couldn’t discern much,
a factory chimney billowing smoke and ash,
screams forcing their way through the cloud.
A giant man with skin like fresh, glistening blood
greeted me as I began my descent.
He informed me he was a demon
and he would be giving me a tour.
Asking him how long it would take
he said it was entirely up to me,
all the time in the world was waiting for us.

I asked him why he had no horns
and he laughed with a noise of horse death,
one he had baptised himself with an aeon ago.
He dutifully informed me that this particular misconception
came about due to a similarity between invading warriors
and their certain bloodthirstiness and vitriol
held in much akin to the view of demons at the time.
He assured me that demons weren’t that bad,
friendly enough but with a temper fitting
a location as unearthly foreboding as this place.

As we walked through the ***** streets,
I couldn’t help but notice they were busy with people
rushing about and selling things and generally
much like people did on the mortal plain.
The demon said Hell was much like Earth,
just with greater punishments if you didn’t pull your weight.
An abominably long and disjointed finger
pointed in the direction of the chimney I saw earlier.
That was where the worst of the worst end up,
the rapists and abusers of child and woman,
all the filth humanity had to offer,
always churning, he said, always smoking away.

We stood by the door for some time,
an awkward silence descending between us,
rattling the synapses in my brain
as I tried to comprehend my past life
and the fate that awaited me.

After an insurmountable time, the demon knocked on the door.
I heard scraping on the door, a set of keys fall to the floor,
a curse put upon those keys then the clinking of a lock.
The door opened and a massive fire raged within,
conveyor belts from several directions leading towards it,
naked people, statues to the Heavens, falling off the end
and making the fire grow and glow like no fire I had ever seen.
The demon in charge of this awful place looked me up and down,
asking me what I had done to ever deserve to end up like this.
I attempted an excuse but couldn’t muster the right words,
so I just told him the truth without hint of any repentance.
He shook his head and genuinely looked shocked at what he had learned
and grabbed my shoulders and hauled me towards my piteous soul-death.
I was stripped naked as I became more aware of the intense heat,
flames of scarlets and oranges reached out to my broken body,
all skin and bones and nerves vibrating to an otherworldly chill.
I floated up to a conveyor belt which felt unduly cold beneath my feet,
and as I looked back on the life I lived and the one I dreamed when I was young,
I realised that this was a fitting ending to a life lived fully sans regret.
I opened my arms wide like a Messiah and began to pray eternal thanks.
Beauty36 Feb 2015
I played myself yet again lending out a heart that I wasn't ready to lose. I allowed you to come in when I knw that the feelings I had were premature but I let you in anyway.. your body, your smile, your smell they all had me mesmerized with pure lust.. your tall stature was so alluring that it had me completely gone in the head.. the way you looked at me made me melt on the inside and when I rubbed you.. I quivered with much excitement. I got the man of my dreams the man that all women seek.. look at me.. but dnt envy me was the ego I had.. to only get knocked off the high horse I was on by the man whom I felt so deeply for that had my ego so swollen.. You played me, you used me and toyed with my heart knwing all I've been thru way before you.. I trusted you.. I believed in you.. I even asked you to marry me.. and got your name tattooed in my heart.. Oh how this is such a nightmare I want to awaken from.. but I knw this isn't a dream.. I still pinch myself cause I'll rather bruise myself than to have another take that part.My only question is what exactly did I do to deserve this pain and the way you have now began to ignore me.. Why hurt the one who loves you, but chase the one who abuse you.. I've yet to feel the love of a man so geniune so pure.. only the fake love from an imposter who only takes.. My world has turned upside dwn and it's all because of you.. my nights grow long with memories of you.. my days become faded from wanting you and my mind is going crazy cause I can't seem to forget you. Why does a heart hold on to such pain when the person who has done the hurting is happy and long gone living their life.. ****!!Smfh.. this love life of mine is tragic.. I give up due to being a hopeless, loveless romantic.
Just a poem I wrote.. I enjoy writing poems about love, relationship and also I've written poems about past experiences... Writing is a passion.. I dnt write and post them for the likes, but I do it just to share things I normally keep inside.
Sin May 2014
I was born with a knack for reading and a passion for writing and a terrible, ten cent memory. although I can't recall what I ate for breakfast (unless your mother made it) I can still remember the first time we met.

I remember looking up at your apartment, seeking refuge from the cold, pushing away "this is a bad idea" and thinking maybe honey colored windows and smokey air could change my life. plants hang like bodies behind the blinds. now I think "this was a great idea" and I still can't decide if I should've ascended those stairs- two flights- right into your life. you were sitting on the couch and wouldn't look my way because the cigarette between your lips was far more intriguing. car horns and screams erupt from the tv. this is the first time we speak since I first saw you in middle school, pushing my friends into the bathroom of the wrong gender.

I remember spending every day working my way to the couch. first the floor. then the chair. then beside you. and once I found this place God knows I knew I was at home. I've never liked watching you play video games and swing from roof to roof and flip a truck with the push of a button, but now there's nothing I miss more than the sounds of that glowing controller. only when I traded my dark sweaters for a tight tee had I caught your attention.

I remember the night we taped your mouth closed and your wrists tight and tossed you in the trunk as a joke. I still have pictures. you tried to speak and although your words were muffled, I could understand. I was the translator. and I still am. you told me you'd be satisfied if you kissed my best friend before the night was over. I told you I couldn't handle myself on an empty stomach. I puked all over the side of the car.

I remember trying to start a fire for forty five minutes and chugging liquor like water before our friends returned. asking you to sit with me that night was an invitation to fall in love with me. however, the type of love you showed was not one I knew well. I never let anyone **** me because I was too afraid of myself. but I never stopped you because you weren't afraid of anything. I wonder if you still would have done it knowing how far along id take you. I wonder what kind of dreams you had when you passed out in the trunk and I shuttered in January air, 3 am and the tape from your mouth is on the steering wheel. there is no such thing as silence. there are only hands rubbing my back as I try to remember how the sun feels.

I remember bruises on my thighs that looked like Van Gogh touched a canvas with a blindfold on. I swear I shook for three days after That: when I saw you, when I wanted you, when I thought of you. three things I still tackle with every morning smoke. I used to think you'd never speak to me after that night. who would've guessed we'd have a million more.

I remember the first time you had me completely exposed, and it was not just my skin. I was knocking things off my bucket list, knocking my head on the headboard, knocking on your door at midnight with a blunt in my back pocket. remember when you punched me in the throat on accident? I leaned into it. should've knocked some sense into me.

I remember laying on your bed listening to the messages my first love had left on my phone a year ago. "I love you, I love you. please come back. I love you." you thought they were creepy. I wanted you to need me this badly. I wanted you to hold me when I cried. "message deleted." "message deleted." I wanted to keep you from walking out of the room, and I wanted to keep your mother from walking in. she thought I was a good one. "I like her," she shouted, cackling over the sink. "she's good for you. she's so good for you." she doesn't know I carved her couch with your knife. she doesn't know how you dragged me in front of the mirror and told me I was beautiful. she once called me and told me I used her as a hotel. it was my home. I am still there, somewhere. I remember so many things and yet not one is valuable when I try to find words to fit. I can't tell you what love is. you can read every poem and hear every love song and see every photo and you will never know. but if you give me an hour and a bottle of wine, I can tell you what it's like when it's gone.
Jason Argonaut Oct 2011
You were the world, you were the sun.
You stood out in a green t-shirt.
Your guitar solo sounded like a possessed cat.
I was amazed, I was in awe.
How many girls are there in the world like this?
A rarity in this deadbeat town.
A warm feeling in the corner of my stomach.
A spine jolt at any word said to me, any smile given to me.

Euphoria and pleasure, molecules touching.
Twisted sheets and callused hands.
Young skin, the softest I had ever known.
Where am I, and how did I get here?
A biopic and a box-office failure comedy.
In each other’s pocket.

The moons passed, the candle flickered.
The 12-bar blues was wrong, but you could not accept.
Your pitch was all over the shop.
Tone-deaf, some would call it.
But I did not want to harm your feelings.
You’re perfect, and there’s nothing else to it.

The rains came and went, and there we were.
Perched atop a hill in a new city.
I forced good feelings into my stomach.
I wrote and wrote songs, I poured them out.
You didn’t care. You never cared about my music.
All right for you, taking on the world.
Shaking percussion across hand-railings.
That’s pretentious. It all sounds the same.
This strange behaviour automatically makes you better than me.

A night comes where I wish to stay in.
Perhaps watch a Jim Jarmush film.
No, let’s drink plenty of cider and head out.
Visit the valley. Go to stupid clubs where everyone is cooler than me.
My father’s suit, I brandish it.
I am verbally knocked down by the filth of the valley.
I should have stayed home.
You and your stupid friends are drunk,
And I join you on a 2am bus home.

We lie in the shadows of the nest.
I talk of the cigarettes.
I do not wish to walk through this smoke with you.
Stop it now, do it for me.
You didn’t give a ****. You would continue.

You never cared about my music.
Whenever I picked up a guitar, I got bad vibrations.
Any of your perfect hipster friends pick up my guitar, instant praise.
Play that again, Oscar.
That’s not a person’s name, that name belongs to a Muppet.

I should have done what I wanted.
I should have bought my groceries separate.
My money flew away in the breeze. My job wasn’t enough.
You didn’t care.
It was all about you. You couldn’t get money from the government.
It was all about the scene.
Putting on your most op-shoppy clothes, heading out to roll cigarettes and drink with other pretentious lower-class folk.
******* cardigans. Get the **** out.

I hate the way you didn’t give a **** about the songs I wrote.
I hate the way we’d always have to buy dark chocolate because the normal kind hurt your teeth.
I hate the way we’d never hire out a zombie film because you thought they were real.
I hate the way you cut your hair to look like Agynes Deyn. You didn’t look like her.
I hate the way you’d bag out our old town and think you were so much better because you lived north now.
I hate the way you told me about the clone of me you were seeing. He even played a Jazzmaster and had the same haircut as me.
I hate seeing new photos of you looking so sick. Every photo you’re holding a cigarette.
I hate thinking about what you’re up to right now.
I hate how you always come into my mind when I’m trying to get on with life.

But what I hate the most is the fact that I know you never think about me, ever.

And I think about you almost every day.

6/10/11 12AM
Ellie Stelter Jan 2012
I stumbled through the world at midnight
And every door I came to, I knocked
Who are you, what are you doing here?
Questions from sleep-slanted voices,
Their light casting shadows over me.
I told them I was studying.
What are you studying? they always asked
Life, I said. I'm studying life.
You can't be here, they would say
You have to go, study life somewhere else,
I'm trying to sleep. And slam the doors.
Meanwhile I was really just looking for the door
Whose inhabitants would ask me to stay a while
But so far, no one has said come in, you look cold,
Study life somewhere warm.
And so finally I have resolved
That if ever someone comes knocking on my door
Not looking for anything- for food, answers, or a place to stay,
I'll let them in.
Even if it is midnight and they spew some ******* about studying life.
Sin Aug 2013
Oh, father.
how lucky I was to have one,
that's what they told me at least.
the sound of shouting in the den was
my only glimpse of your presence.
the chair that was just Yours,
stood always crooked.
you once left crumbs behind of meals
I spent hours baking.
these nightmares, you spent years making.
broad smile faking.
firm hand shaking.

Oh, father.
I was six years old and you tucked me in.
sang to me of guitars.
and learning how to make them talk.
but where were you
when I learned how to walk?
I ran out of things to hold on to,
when all I needed was your hand.

Oh, father.
I was ten years old and you came to my door.
it was unlocked.
you never knocked.
now Sirens on a Tuesday Night
are just an average thing.
and all that I know now is
the problems that they bring.
ring.
ring.

father.
as you lay under blankets,
like ropes,
with a soft face and a firm voice
I stared into fluorescent lights and prayed.
even though,
you took my faith.
I was twelve years old
and the lines of people waiting to see you
were straighter than the ones
I had carved into my arms.

Oh, father.
I was there when you wasted away
in your hospital bed.
and I wonder of those pale white lights
made me look as dead as you did
when I vomited years of lies
and secret screaming.
and fourteen pills too many.
maybe prayers could've saved me.
but God knows I couldn't try anymore.
Cynthia Aug 2018
Have you heard
of a town called blue?
The reason for the name?
Sure, I can tell you.

So smile, relax
And try not to frown
'Cause the story you'll hear
Is not a happy one.

Picture a city,
An ancient town,
Full of people
Who all look down.

Now picture it blue,
Their clothes, their skin,
Everything they own,
Even the smallest ring!

The roads are blue,
The buildings are blue,
The houses, the cars,
Even the food too!

The sad thing is,
They all look the same,
Their clothes, their hair,
And they all never change.

They had no personality,
They never had much fun,
They were always on edge,
As if something would go wrong.

No imagination
Was the main problem they had.
The reason for this
Was a mayor who was sad.

The town had a history
Of sad, sad mayors
Who make others sad
And sorrow in layers.

Everything was safe
And always sound
But something was changed
When the mayor's son was born.

On a calm spring night,
On the twentieth of May,
Joe was born,
Looking bright as the day.

This was a problem
That the mayor despised
His son had colour
Except for his blue eyes.

He had pale skin
And a pair of pale hands
His hair was blonde
Just like the sand.

So his father trained Joe
To be blue like him
He had to grow up
His patience grew thin.

Day and night
The mayor always tried
His plan did work
At least in his eyes.

Joe's hair remained yellow.
His skin became blue
But his mind never changed
As the mayor thought it would.

In a last attempt,
He locked him in a room,
Told him to grow up
Ever so soon.

So with sadness and sorrow
Joe sat down on his bed
He imagined a life
All in his head.

Then one day,
on a pretty summer night,
Joe escaped
Disappeared in plain sight.

He wanted to see
Outside of his town
Wanted to see
What exactly was going on.

Why were his people
Always so sad?
Always angry,
Or always mad?

He walked and walked
To the edge of his town
Where a wall stood high
Mighty and proud.

He found a small door
That lead outside
He pulled it open
And squirmed at the light.

What he saw,
He couldn't have imagined
For he saw colours
That looked like magic.

He saw red and yellow
With green and white
He saw orange and purple
And black like the night.

He saw trees with specks
Of brown and green,
A bat, a bird
And other small things.

The boy was in wonder
As how could this be?
He wondered if the lack of this
Was why they weren't ever happy.

Then he saw
A shack near a lake,
The walls were ancient
The paint was flaked.

He knocked on the door
One, two, three
A boy opened and said
"Hey! You look like me!

Except for the skin
Or the clothes you wear
I never saw someone
Who could look this sad!"

Joe examined the boy
The boy who talked
He told Joe to come in
And in he walked.

Joe then learned
That his name was Kyle,
And the weird thing on his face
Was called a smile.

Then Joe asked
How Kyle could be so happy
So he said,
"I imagine and then I be!"

Then Kyle asked
Why he was always blue
Then Joe answered,
"If only I knew!

My father, the mayor
is always sad,
He tells me to grow up
And then he gets mad.

He says, 'The real world
Isn't a happy one
You have to learn
Or else you'll fall down'.

Kyle shook his head
"That's not what mother told me
The world isn't sad
It only is if you imagine it to be".

The longer he talked
The more Joe changed
His skin turned pale
And colour he gained.

The moon rose
And the stars all shone
When the lights went out,
Joe knew it was time to go.

So off he went
Saying 'Good bye' to Kyle
And on his face
Was what his friend called a 'smile'.

He told his father
About the things he learned
He told him to imagine
To get the happiness he yearned.

But his father didn't listen
And told him to go
"Learn the real world,
You have to grow".

But Joe wasn't satisfied
His father wasn't happy,
Then he made a new plan
"I have to get them to think like me".

So he went and got a paper
And got out a pen
Then he drew a blue ball,
being thrown by children.

But it wasn't enough
As he saw this every day
So he took out more paper
And began to paint.

He painted a person
But with huge ears and a tail!
He painted a hammer
In the shape of a nail!

He painted a bat
But with butterfly wings!
And painted some other,
Wonderful things.

He climbed up the stairs
Onto the front porch,
And he yelled out aloud
To get the attention of all.

"Listen, all of you!
Pay attention
Take in this lesson
Use imagination.

You can be happy
If you believe to be
You can be you
And I can be me.

The reason we look alike
Is because we can't imagine
So put your mind to use
It'll be like magic.

Think of anything
Your mind can weave
It can be real
If you believe".

And with that
Joe quieted down,
He showed a smile
As he got rid of his frown.

He threw his paintings
Out to them all,
Told them to see
What cou­ld be done.

He looked at the crowd
And saw his friend from the shack
And slowly but surely,
Kyle began to cl­ap.

The others were hesitant
Their thoughts ran wild
"What if th­e mayor's right?
This is only his child!"

A girl stood up
She lo­oked five years old
She joined in with Kyle,
Her claps loud and b­old.

They all looked on
As the girl showed a smile
And one by one
They joined, in a while.

But ­this didn't last
As a voice rang out,
Joe looked behind
To see hi­s father lash out.

"The real world is sad
It's corrupted and mad,
You have to be aware
Or you'll end in despair.

You shouldn'­t imagine,
You shouldn't be different,
You shouldn't be you,
And ­you shouldn't attempt.

If you are different
Then it'll give a re­ason
For enemies to rise,
The cause of treason.

You shouldn't be­lieve
That you could be happy
It will never last
It's what father­ taught me".

The crowd grew quiet,
Hearing the mayor's speech,
Of course they ­can't be happy!
"I shouldn't be me".

His son lost hope
And let h­is thoughts go blue,
His shoulders sagged 
He had a frown too.

Kyle was desperate
And his­ friend needed him
So the coloured boy shouted,
"Don't listen, Jo­e! Or you won't win!".

Remember what I told you!
Remember what y­ou learned!
You have to believe,
To get the things you yearned".
­
Joe shook his thoughts,
He was back on track
So both of them syn­chronized
About what they learned in the shack.

"The world isn't sad! 
It only is if you imagine it to be­!
You can be happy,
You have to believe!

Remember this talk,
Rem­ember this speech,
You can be you
And I can be me.

Think of anyt­hing
Your  mind can weave,
You'll make it real,
If you believe".
­
Joe paused 
And so did Kyle
They both had on
What they called a ­'smile'.

The crowd sighed 
And made their own smiles
They knew t­hey were happy
It would stretch on for miles.

One by one
Their colours changed,
From blue to red
And a bit of Orange.

And all the town 
Was covered i­n hues,
The people were in awe
"Look at me! Look at you!"

And th­at was the day,
People were never the same,
In a town called 'Blu­e'
The reason for the name?

Sure, I can tell you,
And so can they.
It was to remember
This very special day.

It was to remember 
That they were happy again,
All because of two friends
Who weren't afraid o­f a change.
Inspired by Dr.Seuss.
I'm pretty sure no one would take the time to read this but if you do, I'm really thankful :)
Jaya Gumatay May 2013
There's more to me than my name and my physical appearance
I don't dress to please you and make you comfortable
I don't say things according to your rules
The scars on my elbows and my knees contain more stories than all the lies you puked out
Tears were embedded on my cheeks long before you came around
And the mirror I look into every morning create jagged lines across my wrist
The face I see is a mask no one can ever truly rip off
It's stitched onto my bones and attached to my veins and if one were to ****** it from its place
I'd bleed to death
Crimson and rusty on the floor while my heart still pumps out blood and my lungs still breathe in air
My bones are weakened from all the standing up I have to do
I get knocked down too easily and I have to force myself to fight against gravity
And reach up to grab the hands of those trying to help me
My knees are tired of being bruised from all this shoving around and it's worried that one day I'll just give up and not get back up
But sometimes all we need is that extra push, that extra fall, to finally realize that gravity shouldn't control our lives
We can't live our entire journey just staying in one spot
Gravity is pulling us down while faith and hope is pushing us back up
So maybe we should all try and dust our knees off a little bit
Sigh and take a deep breath
And keep walking because that's all they want us to do
Derby Sep 2016
I remember not too long ago I was just a little boy playing ball in the park it was Little League in the heat and anyone in south Florida will tell you it’s normal and it’s true it really is normal.

Then it began to rain lightning struck the adjacent field and left a **** in right yet somehow for some reason the warning system never sounded its fifteen second alarm I wonder why.

Imagine this:

A crash as loud as if you were wearing a stainless steel stockpot and someone struck it so hard with a stainless steel spoon and soon you were knocked so silly so goofy so discombobulated that you felt like the Liberty Bell the day it rung and cracked during the funeral of Chief Justice John Marshall and you thought you were dead too.

I thought I was a goner so I bolted to safety quick like lightning no pun intended but I didn’t want to be tomorrow's toast.

As the team sat there each about eleven and twelve years old we counted seconds between lighting and thunder light and sound and what we felt were about to be the very last seconds of our young little lives how naïve we were.

One strike cracked so bright it flashed me to today and here I am at twenty-two not dead just yet and I’m not quite sure how or why maybe there’s a purpose maybe there’s a meaning to life it’s such a philosophical thing to sit and contemplate existentialism is such a weird wild thing I think.

I have come to believe that there are multiple reasons for life and one’s to die one’s to survive one’s to figure out every answer to every question and acquiesce all that which satisfies our wants and needs and one’s to love and give and take and share a life and one’s to see all there is to see like cityscapes and oceans and stars and countries one’s to see even more like frowns and births and smiles and deaths and one’s to eat all there is to eat and to drink all there is to drink until we finally figure out a way to accept the inevitable.

Or is the inevitable not inevitable?

What if there’s a way to live forever and there are no consequences extraneous to those of regular everyday life and you can choose to accept the inevitable when you choose to realize that it sure is inevitable?

Ooh! Aah! Ain’t that a concept?

This is not quite what I had in mind at birth I thought it would be smooth sailing between fits of crying and long hours of slumber and meals and short naps and diaper changes and seeing my parents’ faces and those of all others gazing about me in awe and wonder and amazement and pride and love

I was a deity!

Relative to twenty-two years one figures out that being a god is very short-lived and that twenty-two years ain’t very long hardly even a quarter of the way to the brink of a timely death.

Maybe when we’re babies we’re gods and idols?

Well think about this babies can rule the world if only they knew they command the highest of all expenses in the whole of humanity and families and friends willingly shell out money and goods and services for such a tiny little sack of fat and muscle and fastly-forming bones and brains.
Babies are ******* gods.

But gods no less.

My God I wish I could be a baby over again.

But I’m twenty-two and slowly but surely growing old living through each quickening day by day by day and so on and so forth it’s been a fun trip so far and I am sure not done so long as there isn’t another flash of lightning to send me straight to forty-four or eighty-eight—it doubles every time ain’t that a ****** shame?
Sophie Herzing Mar 2013
I stepped out of the bathtub, slipped on my towel,
and ran down the stairs so I could grab us some drinks
out of the fridge in the garage,
a lager and a light.
It was cold, my tip toes were leaving imprints in the snow
my wet hair was freezing at the ends.
I tried to keep covered up while carrying things in my hands,
I got to the door and there you were
holding the **** with your steamy lips and boxers
I kept turning it, but it wouldn't budge
that's when you held up the key to the glass
waving it in my face like a sweet, sweet victory.
I gasped a little laugh that was half mad, half enticed-
you little ****.
 
"How am I supposed to get in?"
I asked as quiet as I could in fear of waking the neighbors,
you just looked at me stupidly,
your mouth foaming something *****
"drop it"
you said with a hand gesture towards my body.
I bit my lip holding back my smile, shaking my head in
denied disapproval.
You started walking away from the door,
"Wait!"
I let it go,
dropped the towel down to my ankles
and let my hands glide effortlessly to my hips.
I cocked one out, pursed my lips as I looked at you
devilishly-
your eyes got wide.
 
"Can I come in now?"
I begged with a little lean forward.
You put your fingers up to your chin,
drinking up my beauty that was dripping
from the tip of my nose to end of my feet.
"One lap," you said holding up the number.
You pressed your hands up to the glass,
I lined mine up with yours
I could tell you wanted to kiss me.
"One lap?"
I questioned with a stupid smirk,
I'd do anything for you-
I just like putting up a fight.
You shook your head up and down,
"I'm not going alone,"
I said backing away, folding my arms across my chest
defiantly begging you to join me.
"Fine" you said with a wide smile.
You threw off your boxers and opened the door.
 
"It's freezing!"
You yelled as soon as you walked out.
I shushed you with my lips and whispered
"It's too late now."
We ran around my house in the snow,
naked
you chasing me.
I tried my best not to scream,
but my heart was begging me
to release some pressure from it
some relief
from all the love you were filling it with.
I burst through the door and you followed,
trying to wrap your arms around me
but I wouldn't let up.
I ran up the stairs,
peeking behind me
to see if you were there.
 
"You can't catch me"
I taunted from the bathroom,
turning on the shower as hot as it could go.
That's when you knocked into me from behind,
tight
"Got you"
you whispered and you were right,
you had me
a lager and a light.
Ryan Holden Oct 2017
You don't have to be an eagle -
to see the white stallion in a field
of ponies - nor do I ever feel
like I was the person riding it,
like all of that power was mine -
to command.

But I was George Custer to your
finely edged arrow tips -
I was an easy target and I let myself
get beaten and bruised,
knocked from my mount -
Colliding with every single piece
of stone on the ground.

Cuts, scars, grazes, bruises -
But these stones do break bones,
and these sticks puncture my chest -
Yet this is a mere kiss on the cheek
to the words that cut me so, so deep.

I fell so hard into a bottomless pit
even the ocean hadn't explored
this washed out chest, praying to find
a person who's soul is just as kind.

Now I sit day by day - watching the stallion
in the fields, in all its glory, inside a story,
that I paint inside my proudest dreams -
getting just that little closer to what was,
I look forward to the days approaching -
for the day I get back on my stallion.

And to ride with you - in all of our glory -
inside our story - that we will paint
as we fade into the fields of our dreams.
A quick poem I wrote today. Just about how recent events and past few years has affected my confidence and I feel I can't give my whole self to people. But I see myself getting much more confident recently!
Bardo Jul 2022
I hadn't been there in ages, hadn't visited, I had no reason to
But then the Covid virus struck and Dublin where I was working was put into quarantine
I wasn't allowed to go up there anymore to work,
And I had no computer at home and no broadband/ WiFi at the time
So they sent me down to the Old Town
It was nice driving down the motorway, it was Autumn and the leaves they were all changing colour
The different shades of red, brown green and yellow
With the sun shining on the mountains and on the bay
It felt almost like I was going on my holidays,
The Old Town it had changed so much, there were all these new buildings,
Retail parks on the outskirts, hotels, new schools, civic buildings... coffee shops
It was lovely and clean and tidy
Like those living there were really proud of it,
The old town I'd known it was there also, in the background, a bit dusty now
There was the big old gothic church my Dad used take us to, to Mass some Sundays
There was the Port and the big ships along the Quay
There was the secondary school I was meant to go to... had we stayed...it looked old, a bit dilapidated now
I wondered was it still being used as a school,
In the Main Street there were still old names of shops that I recognized
The shoe shop where my Mom used buy us shoes
The chemist where my brother got his glasses... the Bakery
The cinema where we seen our first movie "The Magnificent Seven", it was all done up now... all different...
In the office things were... well...weird! ghostly!
A big modern office and some days I was the only one there, just me all on my own
Was like something out of a Sci-fi movie
Other days maybe two or three might come in to join me
All the others of course, they were all working from home,
Often I'd find my mind just filling with old memories and nostalgia...
I could hear the old ghosts calling, calling me to go back
I knew... I knew I had to go back there
Back to where it had all begun for me
The little seaside village where I was born.

So going home I took the coastal road not the motorway
Just the sight of the headland and the blue mountains sloping down to the sea
With the lighthouse there at the end
Just seeing them again gave me an old feeling of my father, my Dad
And then the village itself, the seafront... all the colourfully painted shops,
Sweet shops & novelty shops, the amusement arcade, pubs and hotels and B&B's  (Bed and Breakfasts)
After being away for nearly fifty years, it still looked...it still looked pretty much the same, was hard to believe
I stopped my car and went into a little supermarket shop to get a sandwich for the next day
As I looked around, I seen these two mature ladies there, they were around my own age
I thought to myself 'I might have gone to school with you once many years ago, one of you might even have been my wife had we stayed here and not moved away
I might have lived a more normal, a different life'
But then I thought 'Life is never that simple, is it'.
Outside I decided to go for a walk, to look around and reminisce.

There was the path, the pavement I used go to school on with my brothers
It was like returning to the scene of a crime
How I used to dread going to school sometimes
There was a teacher, a lady teacher that used scare me a lot, she terrified me so
I remember I got sick in class on several occasions
She put me outside once sitting on an upturned bin
I can still remember sitting there on that bin in the sun, feeling so lost and that I was a really bad boy, wishing I was home
I remember I used to get hives, itches on my skin
My Mom used keep me at home
She was afraid, she thought I'd give them to the other kids
I missed the addition and subtraction tables at school because of this
To this day I still don't know what 7 + 5 is, instead I bring it to 10, I know 5 is 3 + 2, so I say 7 + 3 is 10 and 2 is 12
And I know all the doubles, 7 + 6 is 6 + 6 is 12 and 1 is 13, funny that
How I used to dread going to school
Until that was... until one day I did well at something and I received some praise
Then things seemed to change after that, I wasn't as bothered anymore, I think then I realized I was doing better than some of the others in my class and that seemed to make a difference
I remembered sitting beside pretty little girls who used have lovely pink pencil cases with lots of fancy colourful things
Whereas me I barely had a pencil, a rubber (eraser) and a ruler
They were strange lovely creatures, the Girls with their lovely long hair and their cute little faces...
I remembered walking home on my own, with my little schoolbag on my back with all my books in it
It was such a beautiful place, the view with the beach and the sea and the faraway blue mountains
And yet, I used to worry about so many things
It's like even then it was all about...all about survival...
There was the big Chapel on the hill
Once before the Summer holidays they were looking for altar boys and someone put my name forward
Then on the first morning back to school after the Summer holidays
The teacher said you better get down to the church right away, like fast!! you're on the altar this morning !!!
I was terrified, I didn't know what I had to do, no one told me anything
So there I was on my own kneeling on this cold hard marble altar and it was hurting my knees something terrible
And the priest he's talking about God and the Devil and Evil or Hell or whatever
And all these people, the whole congregation their all staring up at us
And I'm petrified, and I started to get faint and nauseas
The priest had to stop the Mass
I can't remember if I got sick or passed out
I was so embarrassed and thought afterwards I was such a terrible bad person, I knew it'd be all around the school the story.

I walked on...our house was gone, knocked down, where there used to be three houses together attached, now there was only the end house
Our house used to be the middle house
It didn't look right now, the symmetry looked all wrong
It was like there was two missing teeth
Why did they have to knock it down ? I wondered. It saddened me a bit...

At another house I stopped, this used to have a shop, a small shop,  the shop was no longer there
This was my Best Friend's house, all the days we used to play football together in the back garden
Kicking the ball to each other
With our jumpers/ sweaters as goalposts
The first to score ten would win the game
I...I usually won
I always found you easy to read, it's like you only ran in straight lines,
I think you were a bit in awe of me for some reason
Maybe you wouldn't have been my friend if you'd beaten me
How did we become friends anyway, I wondered
I suppose coming home from school
We lived on the same road and were in the same class, we'd have met each other
I had two older brothers whereas you were the oldest
So our families would have had a different dynamic
I remember you had a delightfully silly younger brother
I remember your Mom, she was very pretty, she was a lot younger than my Mom
You used bring me in and give me a meal sometimes, we'd all sit and watch TV
There was a different feeling when I was in your house...a different atmosphere
But when your Dad would come home, he was a bit scary
And I knew it was then time for me to go home
You'd wonder afterwards what the lovely Mom saw in the scary Dad, adults they were a bit peculiar.

We were inseparable in those days, many mornings you'd hear the knock on the door
And the familiar greeting
"Hello Mrs B---, Is G---- in, is he coming out to play?"
We were always playing soccer up the garden
Or down on the beach, going out for miles to meet the tide, catching *****, looking under  stones to see what we might find
I remember we were very entrepreneurial
In the Summer we used collect returnable glass mineral bottles, Orange and Lemonade and Coca Cola
And we'd bring them back to the shop and get money back for them
And then we'd have a royal feast, we'd buy bottles of Orange and bags of crisps and ice cream pops and chocolate bars,
Remember all the different Ice pops there used to be, Choc Ices and Brunches and Orange splits, 99's... Ice cream cones
Chocolate bars, Smarties and Malteasers, Milky Bars and Milky Ways, Dairy Milk chocolate bars, fruit gums and Love hearts with little love messages written on them
We used hang around the amusement arcade, play the slot machines, maybe help some old lady collect her winnings, she might give us a tip
There was the bumper cars and the swingboats and music playing all the time on the jukeboxes
It was the seventies (the 70's) and glam rock was all the rage
Marc Bolan and T-Rex, and Slade and The Sweet and a million others
So many great songs, we couldn't wait to grow up and become one of those amazing creatures we saw on the telly
I'd never lived since as intensely as I did back then,
We'd stay out till late
We were like young hustlers going around,
It seemed the days they were never long enough, all the things we got up to,
We'd Caddy in the local golf course
And retrieve lost ***** from the ditches...
Heh! Remember... remember that time... the Brennan sisters, we were up one day near the school
There was building work going on
And there was this big high mound of clay
So we climbed to the top to take in the view
And then the two Brennan sisters came over
They lived nearby
They were in our class at school, we knew them only to see
They were smiling and laughing and giggling
They beckoned for us to come and follow them
We went wondering what was going on here
They led us back to their house, I think their parents must have been out
One of them came up to us and smiled
And then she pulled down her pants and showed it to us in all its wonderful glorious splendour
It was amazing... incredible... such a sight
Her beautiful...her splendid... her lovely... bare Bottom!
I remember thinking it was like a lovely ripe pear
One of Life's great mysteries had just been unveiled
And her there with this huge impish grin,
When we were going home we promised each other we'd not tell anyone, our parents, not even the priest in confession
About that great vision we'd just witnessed
It was the height of naughtiness
Yea! Those were the days...

I wondered, 'Whatever became of you Old Friend ?
I looked you up online but couldn't find your name anywhere, couldn't find anything about you
Were you even still alive ?
50 years was a long time, I'd barely made it this far myself, and I had a lot of scars to show for it
I thought rather amusingly that I should knock on your door
Maybe you were still living there,
But what was I hoping to find ? I wondered...
"Whose at the door ?", a woman's Voice inside might say,
"Just... just some crazy guy talking about 50 years ago" her dutiful husband would reply
That's probably how it would go
I felt like I was Rip Van Winkle awakening after being asleep for 100 years or in my case 50 years
What did I hope to find
What did I hope to see, an old man now just like myself
And I bet you'd tell me your opinions on the government and the economy
And how the village had changed over the years and how other old schoolmates of ours had got on in life
But No! that's not what I wanted to hear or see
I wanted to see you there again just like you were as a little kid
Your lovely youthful face smiling back at me
And you'd say, "I'll get the ball and we'll have a game, the first to ten wins"
This was what I was looking for, this was what I wanted to hear.

We were very close, were going to grow up together, go to the same schools...college
We'd always be friends
We'd meet all the trials of life together....
I hope Life worked out well for you, my friend
In a way...in a way I almost didn't want to know
If I learned you did well in Life I'd probably only get jealous
I'd start to think I was better than you and that I should have had those things you had
Life, this world it makes enemies of us all... eventually
It divides, is all about competing and comparing... and beating (I suppose).

I still remember that last night before I left forever
We were down on the beach, it was twilight, the tide was coming in... the waves slowly advancing
Just like in life I had no power to stop it, to change things,
I had no say, I didn't want to go and leave you Old Friend
No! I didn't want to go....

Thank you...thank you for being my friend, for being there
For all the time you gave me, I hope I didn't hurt you in any way.

I have a photograph, one solitary old black and white photo of the two of us
We're sitting on a barrel in our back garden on either side of my Dad whose in the middle
You look a bit uncertain, unsure of yourself, probably lost in the dynamic of my family,
I look at you and I think
"Whatever happened to you.... Beautiful Friend, whatever became of you"
And then I look at myself as well, and I think, I whisper
"Whatever became of me as well".
We lived a few miles from the main town in a seaside village. This happened during the Covid in 2020.

— The End —