"haziness" poems
~for better days for the poet betterdays~
mournful tunes play silently, but still too often,
eyes wet but in corners kept, recurring then the
memories, keepsakes, letters, books, small trinkets,
not dusty, but dusky, resting on in-between ledge of a
mountain-sized twilight of well lit shadowy haziness,
edgy dark brilliance, a comprehensible contrast non-comprehendible
tunes that bless with equal measures of grief,
comforting, by memorable card flashes of good relief,
a dividing line, hazy and frequented crossed, a sort of path,
with no destination signaled, as if the path itself was an end,
to a meaning, a solution, with no clarity divined, a division
of sight and insight, providing an ill fitting reconciliation
mourning is electric, morning is electric,
letters, words bottled up in evaporating perfume bottles,
seeking the comfort of dissipation unto a larger atmosphere,
the scent in everything tangible, stronger still yet, in intangibles
that can erode but never ever fail to return instantly when voked,
by vision, odor, a particular child’s smile, line in a poem volunteered
recovered, uncovered, a post first writ to be written, discovered,
when time and place coincidentally breathe together, at last,
beckoning you to places where memory serves only as a pleasuring,
upright mind marker, decorated in chains perpetual reforging,
absent pain, gleaming dreamings full-replacing longings for pasts,
new verses composed, passing, a grand addition to a child’s legacy
May 18, 2019
May 18, 2019 at 8:50 AM UTC
When wisps of dandelions lay still in the blanket of your hair,
and your eyes can no longer say I love you,
without your lips moving.
I know my world has ended.
We stood on the porch
with the wind chimes blowing songs through my ears.
There's still something there through this Armageddon. I recollect the curve of your smile or the shape of your face
in every single pool of water I come across.
Your eyes had a haunting quality about them,
as they look through my hollowed out frame,
and see what wars I've fought.
It was your time darling,
your time I bought.
I know,
my world is ending.
The skin of strangers bone's looks dimmer,
and your heart looks darker.
When it's revealed in the quiet of our room.
That distorted haziness your voice gets when you're tired, is there all the time.
I can never help but wonder what I did wrong.
Asteroids come hurling towards me
at a thousand miles an hour,
The world is ending.
Just as predicted.
Where are you now?
Clairvoyant and always knew just what to do.
What happens now that I've been left behind.
What happens now that I can't pick up the pieces?
Your promises never looked more beautiful,
than when you couldn't keep them.
Lies never seemed more eloquent
than when you couldn't stop telling them.
Your face it haunts me.
Your words they weaken me.
Your hours we devoted to one another- cut through me.
I'm not afraid anymore,
to do this alone.
Let the flames engulf me,
let my skin hang loosely from the bone.
Let me drown.
Let me fade.
Let me waste away.
Let me be reborn.
Let me live again.
Let me find a way back to earth.
Let my soul go on.
There was a time I thought of adoration
when mention of you,
but it's now replaced with bitter resentment.
In the miscalculated performance,
you couldn't be faithful.
And now I see-
dandelions are just weeds.
And now I see-
I see everything.
The honesty your spirit lacked,
the lies you spoke from cracked lips.
And the venemous kisses you placed upon my skin,
I was poisoned- to think I saw everything from your perception
and ignored my own crumbling world.
Now, we are nothing.
Jul 27, 2017
Jul 27, 2017 at 11:11 AM UTC
It was winter of 2014
And you dyed your hair navy,
On accident of course.
But you liked it.
And you lived for the nights
Of turning around the lake
As the moss dropped
From the tangles of your hair.
And the moon shone
In the haziness of your eyes
While you played back scenes
Through the screens of your eyelashes.
There was a groaning which lived
In the cavity behind your lungs
And sometimes it would stretch so far
The cracking of your ribs
Would fill the deepest silence.
And one morning,
He stretched to stroke the length of your cheek
But the weight of that look
Shook you back.
I'll never forget.
Apr 30, 2015
Apr 30, 2015 at 9:21 PM UTC
*I choose to walk on this arid rocky road
I sometimes forget where I belong,
in this haziness of unsettled dust
my heart filled with fear all along
Just round the corner I felt
someone somewhere called me,
I realized the turns I had not dealt
have now become an unavoidable trap.
No, I never feared the uphill
life is a struggle, with honesty by your side,
but sometimes things go against your will
mountains crumble and you don't know how to slide.
I believe that day has come near
when a strange smoke will engulf me
and images will start to become clear
and I will know I have reached the end.*
Oct 8, 2015
Oct 8, 2015 at 7:34 AM UTC
When from ocean full of tears
leaving behind the sadness
a drop rises pushing behind it's fear
it reaches the heaven
through paths of haziness
and finally comes down
turning into a sweet pearl
on our thirsty face
bringing a smile on
that diligent farmer's face.
Down it goes to the crop roots
and the seeds we did sow
sometimes leaving behind memories
as a vibrant rainbow.
Sep 22, 2015
Sep 22, 2015 at 7:19 AM UTC
I want to be loved
right through to my
dark edges
where indigo smoke,
as mystical as night,
curls up to envelope you
I want that haziness
to penetrate
the fire in your eyes
as they mist over
two deep pools of wild
liquid-colored lava
I want to kiss you deep
right down to the embers
take them upon my tongue
even if they burn
Let them smolder
Let the frayed vibrations
of our union
drip into magic
Let a new consciousness melt
into the realms of our minds
in an electric-toned hue of spirals
Let the love that has been
sealed inside
go ultraviolet
with every single breath
and all the poison of past battles
burn away
to reveal the buds of spring
as they burst through
layers of ice,
of ash
of obsidian
for even the most tender
of shoots can unfurl
in a magic that
defies the logic of suffering
and conjures
the language of miracles
Feb 27, 2016
Feb 27, 2016 at 4:24 PM UTC
I still remember the feeling
Of how heavy my arms weighed
As I curled up to the risers of the stairs
I couldn't pick myself up from
After collapsing from the news.
I remember eyes staring at me,
Unsure of how to respond
To the usually stoic and strong me
Bawling uncontrollably
And heaving sobs wracking my body.
I remember cautious hands
Lifting my shoulders
And dragging me to bed
Where I stayed for three straight days.
I remember haziness setting in
And the following days and weeks
All blending into one.
I remember all that
But I don't remember your face.
Funny, isn't it?
What gets seared into our brains,
And what we lose because for so long
We took its presence for granted
Until it was too late
To remember.
Jul 3, 2014
Jul 3, 2014 at 6:16 PM UTC
I massage the black seed oil into my hair
love the way it reminds me of my mother's fragrant laugh
And the way her soft hands stretch the dough
And she sprinkles kalonji onto it where the melting butter
welcomes the seeds with open arms
I braid this ocean breeze into my itching scalp
Thinking of how she would sit me down
And run her fingers through my knotted hair
After I played outside without a care
And I would shriek in pain with every pull,
desperate to leave her grasp
But she would pour the mustard seed oil onto her palms
And I would be transported into her tough love
Now I think about those moments,
And the pain feels like distant menthol induced haziness
Instead, all I feel is my back against her warmth
—————————————————————
Kalonji - Black Seed/Onion Seed
Jun 4, 2022
Jun 4, 2022 at 5:55 PM UTC
he tore, he wore and ran to me, and tried to eat my brains
the sun and fun that came before, were drowned out by the rains
he left my guts spilling out and a hole inside my head
he left my heart spilling out and left me lying dead
the life that once was part of me had been turned down to scraps
it melted down and seeped out through the earth’s loving cracks
he crushed my light pink lungs and i gasped out a last breath
he gouged out both my eyes, now with the haziness of death
he threw my body to the lake but i floated to the top
blood spilled out of my body but i floated to the top
few citizens of the town saw me floating away that night
but they didn’t report the body, too much of a sight
they blamed me for the fact that i was there, floating dead
they assumed that it was me, with the hole inside my head
upon my blood full of justice, fully full of red
upon my eyes full of revenge, fully full of dead
Oct 5, 2024
Oct 5, 2024 at 11:46 AM UTC
I feel like I'm the grass and You're the rain, because the only time I grow is when skies are gray
We both know this is true, that I'm brightest when I'm drenched in You and
Now the sun shines and brings the rays, and Your water dries up and the flames will blaze
I need to be soaked in You, to stay alive, or else I'll start dying at the roots, I won't survive
Could have guessed the wind was all it would take, to turn thick to thin and fog to mist and rid me of my haziness
You left too fast and all I ask is give me back my overcast, I get comfort in shade
The heat is beating down and random spots are turning brown
I'm warm on a summers day but that's never been enough to make me ok
I'm dehydrating, with each moment passing, it seems this might be everlasting
We used to have the best front yard on the street, then You left, now it's filled with sticks and leaves, and dirt
I'm weak and withered You know **** well it hurts and
The weeks will pass and the months will turn from the day you let that fire burn
In springtime I hope You'll return with a downpour that will quench my thirst
Apr 30, 2013
Apr 30, 2013 at 4:14 PM UTC
Here I go again
Sitting in the corner of my room
Staring hard at something
I couldn't comprehend.
Then all the memories of yesteryears
Comes flashing back
In a massive plethora of haziness
Where the sequence of events
Are similar to those of a dream...
Everything's blurry, but the feelings
Are real...
Why do I keep on doing the same thing
Each and everyday?
I feel caged by my past
And the shadows of yesterday
Lingers here and there...
Maybe because I want to change something;
Or perhaps I want to repeat the moments;
Back to the times when you're still with me
And the feelings were fresh and clear;
Back where my days and nights
Revolve around your presence...
I hate this.
Really.
I feel stupid.
I feel slaved.
I want to get over and move on...
Oh baby please, set me free...
Sep 11, 2014
Sep 11, 2014 at 1:33 PM UTC
So how did I become the kind of person that I am
By changing every part of me I couldn't understand
I wonder what I'll find inside the skin that I suspend
Or maybe what I've lost is more apparent in the end
And where is all the evidence I carried on my back
The weight of it has turned it into something inexact
A haziness pervading what I once believed to be
The only inconsistency I wanted to perceive
Secure in all my shakiness but never unaware
That I was going down a road that wasn't even there
And maybe in my head I thought I'd save a place for you
Until I came to realize that's something I can't do
Jul 27, 2014
Jul 27, 2014 at 9:19 PM UTC
*Let me know when your at the sea ,
And we will hold hands together
When the waves try to get to you
I'll absorb them into my chest
While you protect yourself behind me .
Let our lips whisper underwater
The ripples our messengers
Take our stories to the other ends
Sweetheart there's a world beneath
Where the sun sleeps in the oceans' cradle
At sea there is a calmness I tell you
Where the haziness of the heart
Will flow away
When we leave our footprints on the sands
The sea carries them away
And frames them for the creatures to see
That yes !there are some stories written on her ***** forever to be*
Aug 8, 2014
Aug 8, 2014 at 4:04 PM UTC
She travelled,
Trudged the grasses that once were the reminder of the area she's confined in.
Walked through the bleak chambers of her heart that kept her vision captive.
Moved ahead, lancing the haziness caused by the droplets that once traced the extension of her cheeks every now and then.
Legged it, gasped the smoke of her half burnt desires that once was the sigh after her every failed story.
Broke loose from the moonlit vestiges that implored her to get along with the norms she's leaving behind.
And now, when she knows what it takes to reconcile the edge of her lips with her dimpled cheeks, you want her retreat?
Sorry, but she's miles ahead.
Firm and unbreakable.
-Aparajita Tripathi
Sep 6, 2018
Sep 6, 2018 at 6:51 AM UTC
Like a fire that consumes all before it
Like a voice that takes a hold and never loosens,
Never lets go of her grip.
Like a fire that consumes all before it
Rips your insides to shreds,
Your self worth into millions of shards.
Like a fire that consumes all before it
Leaving you stranded and broken
Leaving you alone in your world.
Like a fire that consumes all before it
All of your thoughts and actions
All of your pitiful bones.
Like a fire that consumes all before it
Leaving nothing in its wake
Leaving nothing but fog and haziness.
Like a fire that consumes all before it
Leaving you staring in a mirror,
Hating your reflection.
Like a fire that consumes all before it,
Burning everything in its path to ash,
Leaving blood and tears scattered across the ground.
Like a fire that consumes all before it
Taking your old life in its flames
And leaving your body to reconstruct anew.
Like a fire that consumes all before it
Leaving your future open ended
Your crystal ball cloudy.
Like a fire that consumes all before it
Like a fire that consumes all before her
Like a fire that consumes your thoughts
Like a fire that consumes Y o u .
Jun 24, 2012
Jun 24, 2012 at 9:19 PM UTC
the countryside is covered
in a blanket of smoke
bush fires are burning
in and around the Rhynie spoke
some thirty thousand hectares
of land have been fried
farms and parts of the National Park
burnt from side to side
the fire authorities are working
by day and by night
to encircle the flames and embers
which so searingly bite
slowly they are winning
the protracted war against the flares
their fire fighting equipment
quelling the inferno's nigthmare
within the next few days the fire
shall be extinguished and put out
then the countryside wont be covered
in the smoke's thick tout
the air will be as clear as a bell
and less haziness shall stand
the ashes in the bushland
shall bear testament to the fire's brand
Oct 28, 2013
Oct 28, 2013 at 8:50 PM UTC
Can anyone hear the storm brewing in the distance/can anyone feel the specks of light fading away/flashes of lightning spark the dim horizon.
Then, suddenly, changes to the sky profoundly grasp my mind/a storm here, I do not find/instead cosmic colors correlate to relay a certain alteration of reality.
A certain distortion that which brings about haziness, drowsiness/with this gentle sensation manipulating the mind, comes dreams of everlasting bliss.
Fields of floating clouds which have become opaque and concentrated, I’ve never felt so emancipated/ movement has no feeling, no restraint/ limitless, I have no weight.
Moving steadily, steadfastly, ready to finally live, free of bounds/ not a single thought or worry has hit me, as if I simply don’t care for anything worldly.
Then I see, seemingly far away as can be, my family straight ahead of me/ waiting for my arrival from the flight that has brought me liberty.
I join them on a cloud far below, though a shan’t ask what has brought them such woe/ I’d rather not know, for this is a seemingly endless sensation that I shall not waste, by being pulled by gravitation back to that place.
I soar away in a hurry, an unrelenting flurry/ what has occurred, I finally ponder to myself, has occurred, but I am here now, however absurd, and so I shall enjoy myself/ for I have no knowledge whatsoever what this new color wrought horizon brings for my future.
My wings, with the span of what seems like infinity guiding me, flying away into this brilliant spectrum of divinity.
Feb 5, 2012
Feb 5, 2012 at 12:29 AM UTC
Here is an alternate scenario
Since the ideal one is too clichéd
10 years later you walk into a party
With a girl who isn’t perfect but you love her for who she is
And I look and wonder why you couldn’t love my imperfections like that
Even though you told me I was beautiful at my weakest
Why couldn’t you love me for it?
I see you two dancing in the low light
And I look towards my best friend
And she says **** it man
And I say yeah man, **** it all
And I get drunk even though alcohol is overrated and pepsi is much better
I do it because the haziness makes it funny instead of heartbreaking
And I’m laughing
Dancing on my own
A complete mess
And then I start talking about how I never got guys
And then I start crying because I want to be her
Gosh, I want to be her and alcohol doesn’t help at all
And my best friend has to take me home and tug me in
I wake up the next morning
We’re back to who we were
I never say how much I love you
You never realise how much I love you
And I get back to saying
“You know, I wonder what it feels like to be in love with someone who loves you back”
Maybe you loved me back in an alternate universe
Nov 24, 2018
Nov 24, 2018 at 8:17 AM UTC
I'm lucky to have lived through all the times in which I shook
when everything was falling and I couldn't bare to look
my feet have walked the soil of a slow decaying earth
but somewhere in my footprints I have measured all its worth
There's nothing more revealing than a step or two in vain
'cause deep inside these bodies we can be as right as rain
let water be the words that wash the haziness away
the drops of heavy burdens pouring every single day
For some the fog continues pulling wool over the eyes
yet others watch the clouds become a falsity of skies
And those who have caught up with every conversation had
distract themselves on purpose, talking always, talking back
Aug 2, 2016
Aug 2, 2016 at 1:31 AM UTC
I remember the time I really looked into your eyes; I mean I had always thought they were brown, but when I looked, and I mean really looked, I was mistaken.
The fourth of July actually was a time for color and celebration, and as I sat beside you and watched the glowing works explode the sky's veil, I knew I didn't want the flames to stop falling through the haziness of your eyes.
Speckled green. The perfect color, just in between all the rest, absorbing life itself.
Each laugh erupted louder than the booms in the sky, and every smile was something like the Cheshire Cat, gleaming in the darkness.
And once the golden whirlwind had ended, once we walked apart, I stayed humming the tune of your voice as it replayed over and over in my mind.
-Julia Aubrey Rhodes-
Feb 3, 2017
Feb 3, 2017 at 5:30 PM UTC
*The sun melts in misty haziness.
I flow with its tranquil mood
as the wind from the ocean
sends a layer of
fine sand from the dunes
onto my porch.
The dunes whisper to me
with the seagrass
bending like barley
in the late summer.
They whisper in
the language of the seabirds
the salted wind.
It speaks to me of freedom
and wild waves..
If such choices are permitted
when my time here is finished
I will return as sand and not dust.
The gulls will see me
as I fly with them.
Silently yet
shouting my freedom.
In the crescendo
of the eternal blowing
sea winds.*
Oct 30, 2015
Oct 30, 2015 at 4:57 PM UTC
I can still see Stan pulling his hair and
off there to the right, Oliver with his,
I can never remember if it was a bowler or a pork pie hat, but I kinda like that, like the haziness of a memory that comforts me, it's a
part of the comedy of growing up.
Once, like I was two or maybe three an eternity ago, on a trike, pedals and a bell, pedalling like hell was on nmy trail,
but
the word constituent, constituant, ringing in my head, must have repeated and said that word for hours and hours.
Mum Said, i had ABC, well that's waht it sounded like to me,
acronyms, CIA, RAC,CBI,
I went to the citizens advice bureau
the CAB, WHICH
if I really had OCD, would be the ABC, BUT YOU SEE the alphabet is what we get in tinswith tomata sauce and Mum OF course had the last
word.
They always do when you're two or maybe three.
Apr 14, 2015
Apr 14, 2015 at 6:36 AM UTC
for a moment i lost focus.
i lost focus.
began to forget
parts of myself
that made me
me.
i lost focus on myself.
only to direct it to the
temporary world that
we live in.
for a long time
i lost focus of my mind.
only to focus on the
blur and haziness
that is my life.
Jul 6, 2018
Jul 6, 2018 at 9:01 PM UTC