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Jack Jul 2014

Happy Birthday Wishes Sye

Sye, a few of your friends wanted to send you happy wishes on this
your 17th birthday. I hope you enjoy this.  


Happy Birthday Sweet Niece!
Sye, you are beyond amazing in your talents for writing, your beauty of soul and your caring and compassion. What a gift to our community on HP and the entire Universe that you are here! I am so very glad I met you!!! I hope this birthday and the year ahead are the best ever for you!
With much love,
Aunt Pamela


Seventeen, as cute as seven.
Funny as Hell, sweet as Heaven.
It's not hard to grasp just why
We love you so deeply, Sye.

Birthday hugs from Norway!


Sweet Seventeen, a year so Sweet to bring Your Dreams into the World, Live them Proud and True, just for You!!
I Wish You a Very Happy Birthday Sye!
~ Venusoul7~


Happy Birthday "Daughter"
You are a Blessing who touches each life you enter,(as you have mine)
My wish for you this day, is that the Love and Happiness return to you ten-fold.
Happy B-Day Sweetheart! Paula


Hippy buffday to you!
Wishing you blessings anew
May your days be
Full of sunshine and laughter
And joyful songs too ***
Petal Pie


Happy Birthday Sye

A day of Celebration
of contemplation
The last remains of a year
The dawn of the new

A dawn...
Filled with wonder
With beauty
An adventure

Bask in the sunshine
Embrace the rain
From pain
Do you grow

My wish for you...

Live life
Open hearted

Your flower is blooming
Revealing the beauty
Within your heart and soul

Kelly Rose


17 candles a top the fruit cake
Your friends and family
Nigh to celebrate this great milestone
Wine glasses raised~
In honor of you
God has added yet another year
May your life be filled with so much joy~
And good health be your portion always
Happy birthday Sye…



May Sye have a wonderful birthday as wonderful as her poetry.
Briar Thornit


Hello young Sye on the occasion of your birthday. You are a young lady who has so much still to offer the world of poetry and you can only get better

Keep on writing Sye

Old man Joe


Happy Birthday Sye

Young at heart, a mind for words
may you have a day of joy,
With many happy returns,
have fun let it all go its your day
so do what ever is your fancy
Have well remembered birthday fun :)

Poetic T :)


Only friends for a while
yet I know you're so kind
with that beautiful smile
you'll never be left behind

This wee bonnie lass
has a birthday today
such a kind and sweet soul
in our hearts she'll forever remain

Have a fantastic day Sye **



Tae Sye

Wi' a' the monie ways tae say,
I find I lack skill;
Tae ye, wi' a' me greetings lay,
Pray, o't, tak yowre fill!

Och, sic a bonnie lass as ye,
My hearty blessin';
Sae monie mowre ye Birthdays be,
Wi' a' the dressin'!

'Tis a sma' thing tae say,
Happy, Happy, Birthday!

'Tis a' for thee
Dear S. Y. E.



Princess Sye you are amazing:) I have came to learn so much by you, and you have been a wonderful friend to me:) I hope this birthday finds you well:) Miles of smiles and much love always:)

Jonathan E Furches


betterdays 2 days ago
hello sye
my understanding is it is your17th birthday honour of that and your amorevolous nature
i give you, these word gifts.
two quotes:
"blessed are the curious,
for they shall have
Lovelle Drachman.
"For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone"
attributed to,
Audrey Hepburn
but really Sam Lenvenson.
my best wishes for a, eellogofusciouhipopp-okunurious (good)
hugs and kisses
p.s.amorevolous- loving and giving beyond self, nature.


Dear Sye,

Uh - 17. Young enough to be stupidly foolish and wise enough not to realize it. Your writing has touched many, including me. Thanks for sharing your inner self. Happiest of Birthdays to you Miss Sye. Wishes for many happy returns of the Day.
Your friend in poetry, Kim


"I look at you and see so much promise
so full of life and always ready to help
although I have not known you much
I can see your beautiful soul through your words.
You turn 17 today and my wish for you is simple,
I hope you have enough courage to stand your ground,
to write what's true to you and do all that you love,
that you follow your dreams and
be the beautiful woman you were meant to be.

Happy Birthday, Sye :)
- H.U."


Sye as in sigh but also the world, from Korea to marine flag languages and morse code like this ...-.--.
I saw your name as a barcode while shopping for words,
these are what I bought: Happy Birthday to you Sye the World.

Regis Keuren


Sweet sixteen plus one
Oh what fun
The Sye flower will blossom
More and more so awesome.
She is loved by many here
Who find her so Dear.
Happy Birthday Dear Sye
Now you may cry.

Grandpa john


Happy birthday to my beautiful little sis! I wish you the most spectacular of days and the best of years. You deserve all the happiness and love, life has to offer!

You have been such a great friend and are always so kind and supportive. You amaze me with your wisdom and talent, sweet one. I am in awe of you, gorgeous! I feel so blessed to have met you!


The radiance
Beaming from
Your golden heart
Eclipses the sun
Sending light
And love
To all who bask
In the warmth
Of your sweet

Love you Sye!

Your adoring sis,


Thank you Sye for your excellent poetry as it's a gift to us all. Best of wishes on your birthday; you deserve all of the attention you get and, thanks to Jacks rally of poets, this attention can get to you. With pleasure, I salute thee -

Peter Watkins


Happy Birthday Sye! You are going to go so far in this world sweetie! Have an amazing day my friend! Continue to write amazing poetry.
Peace and Love


Birthday wishes sent to you in hope that all your dreams come true x

Calpurnia Mockingbird


Oh, my Sye, my sweet, sweet, Sye
Wonderful sister and dear poet of mine
Words emerge from your stunning mind
And paint visions for all to read
But today is not about what you create
It's what God created 17 years ago
A wonderful person and talented friend
My non-blood sister to the end
Happy birthday my dear sister
Today is dedicated solely for you
Live it up and enjoy the wonders of life
And make sure to get some cake too!

Madalyn Beck


And now it is my turn. To my sweetest friend on your special day…
As you look above and see all of these people, your friends and family
from Hellopoetry sending you love and beautiful birthday wishes,
I want you to know that you are my best friend in the entire world
and I wish you all that makes you smile, every happiness and joy
this coming year and those to follow have to offer.

Happy Birthday sweet Sye.

Your smile lights the world,

Thank you to everyone who participated in this with me. I appreciate your kindness more than you know.
Agnis Lynota Feb 2013
Happy birthday to the greatest person that I have had the pleasure of knowing
Happy birthday to the smile that made my Tuesdays and Fridays
Happy birthday to the person who showed me compassion
Happy birthday to the the person who shared so many stories
Happy birthday to the person who made me feel like I'm more than thought
Happy birthday to the person who held me when I couldn't walk
Happy birthday to the person who talked to me when I couldn't talk
Happy birthday to the most gracious and special person in my life
Happy birthday to the person who was always told me to keep my chin high
Happy birthday to the person whose love showed me theres much more than the bad times
Happy birthday to the person who I could never fully repay even in an eternity
Happy birthday to the only person who understood me and loved me anyways
Happy birthday to the bright face that I will never cease to think of
Happy birthday to the person who is in a place much greater than ours
Happy birthday to the person that kiss me goodbye far too soon
Happy birthday to the person that is still alive in every beat that my heart beats
Happy birthday to you, Meemaw.
May God himself give you the gifts and the love that I can't give to you
You watched me take my first breath, and I watched you take your last
Your kisses, wise words, warm embraces, and unique love will never be just memories,
but they will shine through the rays of the sun and brush through my hair in the wind
Aladdin Aures H Dec 2016
Redeem My Soul, And Write It On Walls
Happy Birthday To You My Sweet Princess
Strong And Determined With All Our Flaws
My Love For You, Shall Never Pause
Please Accept These Birthday Flowers
Filled With Love, From The Highs Towers
Graceful, Like A Rose In Full Bloom
Known As The Most, Natural Perfume
Beauty Surpassed Oceans And Sky
One Is Special, Never Going To Be Dry
Let Me Fill Your Day With Joy
Like A Child, With A Brand New Toy

Happy Birthday To You On The Top Of The Moon
Happy Birthday From The Morning To Afternoon
Happy Birthday In The Whole Night
Happy Birthday To You, So Shine Very Bright

My Angel Descended On A Day Like This
Heavens Cried For What They Would Miss
I Love To Feel Your Chill Upon My Skin
I Love To Seel Your Breath Upon My Chin
I Love To Make Your Head To My Chest Too
And Make You Feel My Heart, Beat So True
Two Angels Meeting In The Perfect Sky
Two Lovers Cuddle, Staring Eye To Eye
Two Parts Of A Loving Whole
Two Hearts And One Single Soul
Does Not Matter If You Are Tiny Or I'm Tall
Cause I Will Hold You To The Sky Like A Fool

Happy Birthday To You On The Top Of The Moon
Happy Birthday From The Morning To Afternoon
Happy Birthday In The Whole Night
Happy Birthday To You, So Shine Very Bright

I Will Write It So Clear On The Biggest Stone
Draw It On The Sky With Clouds, Or Perfect Moon
Shouting It From Earth To The Whole Univers
Singing And Dancing Even If I Get The Buzzs
Show Me The Whole World From Your Face
To Fall In Love So Tight, Don't Blame Me In Such Case
I Love You Whatever You Looks Like
I Love You For What You Do And What You Make
Allow Me To Show My Love In Your Day
And Don't You dare To Be The Kind of Shy
I Will Seal The Oceans, To See Your Light
Or Even Fly In The Sky Very Hight


Author/ Aladdin Aures HAMDI
s u r r e a l Jun 2016
it is my birthday.
but the world has long disowned me.
honestly--I ask--why do I bother?
as there must be something there for me--out in the viscera.
for I, am still here.

it is my birthday.
but the public has long shunned me.
faces thick as bedrock and eyes as dull as mint wrappers.
and they use sound to blind them.

it is my birthday.
and no one seems to help.
for it is not always happy to know,
you're one day closer into the arms of the cease-r.

it is my birthday.
and words rule no meaning.
for no one listens to me.
and no one hears what I'm hearing.

it is my birthday.
and my marrow weakens as I breath.
but bones sleep with welded lips 'neath the coat of earth.
and--with shame--I shall, too, be nothing but empty research.

it is my birthday.
and I force myself to nature.
O sand, is it true they pick you up and throw you in the wind?
O sea, is it true you get stuck in the mouths and stomachs of the young?
O hair, is it true you scream when the air beats you?
but I don't hear--and I know many.

it is my birthday.
and I breath false air.
is it true the ones that speak ill are on their death bed?
is it wrong I wish for them to speed up time?
is it wrong I point the reaper in their direction?
so I needn't worry of their illness spreading to mine.

it is my birthday.
and we are all gathered for tea.
the masochists sit by the sadists; that's the rule,
so the sadist may draw that ball-point pen deep along their slate skin--and whisper the names of forgotten authors,
so they may both moan with delicious harmony together--for two presents in one.

it is my birthday.
and the masochists ask me to join.
they write each other's eulogies
and revise--revise--'til there are none.

it is my birthday.
for now you know not,
of what I wish, but what I need,
a master.

for I am not one.

it is my birthday.
and not all wishes deem true,
for it seems no one cares of my words--my work--my blood--my tears--
a hymn to whomever it may concern--have you no mercy?

it is my birthday.
and I have not found them.
I have not found the right.
for only airless voices with no mouths, eyes that wish for many more, and souls that have lost time have found me.

and I am one of them.

and 'neath my heart,

I always will be.

for it is my birthday,

and wishes don't come true.
Written when I felt like there was no one to care for what I wrote--and a story to those who feel the same.
Yesterday was your birthday

All day, my hands weighed me down

With the itch to text you to wish you a good day
With the need to grip a steering wheel, navigating me to your house
With the idleness feeling sinful as I wasn’t baking you confetti cake
With the feeling of being misplaced against anything that wasn’t your skin

To keep my hands busy I piled memory into a grinder

Turned the parts as if I was winding up a music box
Because this sound was full
In comparison to
The pit of my stomach that was still waiting to
Share your birthday cupcakes with you

When the flashbacks filtered into my brain
The high was pulled lower still
By the weight of my hands
So that all I could do was cross them
And pray a prayer worth all of the birthday gifts I’ve ever given

“Please, God, on this day make him forget himself.

Please, God, let him find a sweet tooth for things other than the melancholic poison he puts in his coffee

Please, God, let him not remember the time when he broke open too wide and let me slip out of him

Please, God, allow him to feel something, on this birthday, even if it’s just his birthday candle blisters

Please, God, give him his heart back, as it is buried in the past that I was never gifted to know

Please, God, let me not weigh him down with a guilt seed that would root him to a chapter in his life that he wishes he could rewrite

Please, God, let me stop dreaming of him.
I know what it means when I dream of someone.
I know it’s your way of wordlessly telling me I’m being thought of.
Do not let him think of me.

Please, God, fill the parts of him that his worker’s hands have carved out of himself so cleanly.

Visit the wounds that sit in his posture
Will his veins to carry his soul back to his heart

Remind him that his sadness is his own special brew
That he continues to sip at his leisure

Help him understand that feeling lonely
Comes from his own brain that remembers isolation better than love

Please, God, give him
A better year.
A good year.
A year when his time won’t be stolen by someone so insignificant
That he has to translate her words into the language of gibberish,
Until they mean nothing at all anymore.

Please, let him find someone.
Please, let that person captivate him.
Please, let that person know him.
Please, let that person sit in bed with him and feel their good fortune in their bones.
Please, let that person see the moon in his fingertips and realize that they can control the tides, if he wants them too.
Please, let him smile at this person, in ways that would be ugly in pictures, but beautiful in my memory.

Please, God, let that person be HIM.

Please, God, if you won’t cut the ribbon to the start of his new life, at least give him the scissors.

He will say “No, Thank you.”
He will say he does not need your help, because he knows the power of his paint brush,
and that he is too busy washing color out of his brushes to take hold of the harsh metal,
And then he will make confetti of your offer.
He will shred every pleasant thought that comes his way.
He will cut himself open and gaze at every beautiful thing, insisting he sees the wonder.
He will not see the wonder.
He will say he understands the things that live inside himself.
But he will turn their volume down
And tune deeply into the metallic music of sorrowful hollowness
He will go to extreme efforts to ignore the starting line that sits just outside of his comfort zone.

But, God, Please,
Send the trees to trip him
Make the animals chase him
Let him
Throw tantrums that are disguised as the silent treatment

But wrap him up in his ribbon, so that the only way he can move
Is forward.
Remind him that the scissors are always in his hand,
And he needs to learn that
They need not destroy.

Make the clouds rain on his new life,
And remind him that he has a knack for watercolors.

Lure him with oils
Guide him with spraypaint

This Year, show him the paint that
Will reteach color to him.

This year, let him understand that colors are bright,
But not the enemy.

Let him not fear red from the times that he bled,
Let him not cast away yellow, because the sun got in his eyes,
Let him not hate blue, because he almost drowned.

Build in him a reservoir for happiness, that could sustain him through this life that has already been too tragic.

God, on his birthday, please indulge these heavy hands so that they may not cross the fingers for his return,

Because God, it was not I who was born today,
And it was not me who was stiffed on birthday cake.

And though this prayer is selfish,
It is the only thing I can give him,
That he cannot refuse.”

And as I looked down to see my clasped hands, I couldn’t help remember
When one of them was yours.

And for my final birthday wish to you ,
I hoped that only your sleep
Could be relieved of the white knuckle tensions of restlessness

So that you may sleep, and know the peace that I felt,
When I slept next to you.

Happy Birthday,
I miss you.
Happy Birthday,
I’m sorry.
Happy Birthday,
This is selfish,
But Happy Birthday,
So were you.
I wrote this one a while ago, but have finally redrafted it enough to where I'm happy with it.
Simon Clark Aug 2012
Come my way,
Head my way,
Make my day,
Be me day,
written in 2006
Jill Anderson Jul 2012
I was six years old
I got a stuffed piglet
From you
For my birthday.
I remember the picture you took.
Laying on the white couch
In my purple shirt
Hugging that tiny piglet
Tears in my eyes.
Tears of excitement maybe
Or maybe sadness because I knew I couldn't stay forever.
Stay in your house
Were I felt safe
I was eight years old.
We found out we could stay
Or so we thought.
You told us we wouldn't have to live with her anymore
We celebrated.
I was so very excited to be safe
I was nine years old.
We went to Washington to go to the water park
For my birthday.
You bought me a purple teddy bear.
I named him President Theodore Roosevelt.
I thought I was clever.
Karla sent Kate and I to bed so the adults could hang out
I cried.
I didn't get to say goodnight to my Daddy on my birthday.
I wanted one more hug
Before my dreams too me to a place
Where I could be forever safe
I was eleven.
We didn't go to the Enchanted Forest for the first year
For my birthday.
You bought me a giant stuffed dog
You somehow squeezed him in a rather small box
So I couldn't guess what it was
Because I was always able to.
I named him Beethoven
To be Mozart's new friend.
Wrapped up in his soft, tan body
I felt ever so safe.
I was thirteen
My first birthday actually living in Oregon.
You made a huge chocolate-chocolate cake
The one with chocolate chunks sticking out of the frosting.
I blew out the candles not having a wish
The wish I made for the past twelve years finally came true:
I was living with you.
I was only allowed one piece of that amazing cake
For I had a swim meet in two days.
We celebrated as a family.
There was this picture taken of Karla and I.
Both smiling.
This may be the last one taken of us happy.
At the time I felt so safe.
I was sixteen.
Most girls got to go get their license on their sixteenth birthday.
I spent my day in bed
I asked for the day off from work.
You even made me call to ask if I could work
When you found out and yelled.
You screamed and yelled how I was always disobeying you
How once again I ruined your plans.
You made me stay in my room all day
My phone was taken away
I don't think I even ate that day or the next
You brought me a piece of cake before you threw out the rest
I simply stared at the chocolate-chocolate cake through tears
Hating myself for ruining my birthday.
Hating you for allowing me to hate myself
For not letting me feel safe.
I was eighteen
I woke up to chocolate-chocolate cake
Tina made for me;
She didn't even know it was a tradition.
I was surrounded by friends all day.
But you never even called.
You didn't send a text,
Write a note on Facebook, or even a message.
My daddy didn't even wish me a happy eighteen birthday.
Instead I got to go swimming,
Eat veggie kabobs Sam made,
Surround myself with people who make me feel safe.
Tomorrow I turn nineteen.
I am ignoring my birthday.
I will say thank you to those who write on my Facebook wall
But with no phone I will only call my mom.
We may go to dinner, my wonderful boyfriend and I.
But I refuse to celebrate.
That would in turn be thanking the man who created me
Who will not call
Will not write
That one that doesn't even give a **** if I am even still alive.
Who doesn't know where I am.
The one who kicked me out before I even turned eighteen.
That man who I am supposed to call my father.
My daddy who used to hug me
Hold me when I was scared
Made me feel safe
That same man who now makes me feel unworthy
Lost, confused, sad, angry beyond belief,
Because he won't even call me on my birthday.
So happy birthday to me!
I will not celebrate knowing the man who gave me life
The man who nineteen years ago held his baby girl
Not knowing he would one day ruin her
Make her feel so vulnerable
On her birthday.
Aaron LaLux Oct 2016
Happy Fckn Birthday Boy

It’s my Birthday,
the Moon is full,
I’m all alone,
somewhere in Thailand,

what am I doing,
how has my Life come to this,
most people think I have it good,
and I do but I’m still depressed,

I suppose the definition of success depends on perspective,

headed in an unknown direction without any directive,

plus I’m a ship minus a captain and a sentence without a subject,

what’s left,

right here where I lie,
or rather lay,
because I would never lie to you,
at least not in this way,

it’s my Birthday,
the Moon is full,
I’m all alone,
somewhere in Thailand,

wondering what there is left to celebrate,
I was already made an internationally known writer months ago,
that Moment has passed,
now I’m here trying to keep it together all alone,

it's my Birthday but I'm not present,
it's my Birthday but there are no presents,
it's my Birthday so I'll cry if I want to,
it's my Birthday "Happy Fckn Birthday", yeah what the fck is it to you,

a hundred people have messaged me,
wishing me a “Happy Birthday”,
and the only thing I want to reply with,
is “Could you be any more generic and cliche?”

Come on,
is that what our friendship is worth,
10 seconds out of your day,
and a few over used words,

I mean really,
I’m a poet and anyone that knows me or of me knows this,
so why when they write me,
wouldn’t they at least try to be at least a little more creative,


I feel so alone,

I go out and meet people,
but they are usually so uninspiring,
all they want to do is drink poisons and talk about nonsense,
& all I want to do is ask them how their pointless lives are applicable to me at all,

alcohol and cigarettes,
*** that’s just promiscuous,

doesn’t anyone make love anymore?

No not here,
this is not a place for connection,
this is a place for superficial feelings,
and unruly heathens with no direction,

I suppose the definition of success depends on perspective,

headed in an unknown direction without any directive,

plus I’m a ship minus a captain and a sentence without a subject,

what’s left,

right here where I lie,
or rather lay,
because I would never lie to you,
at least not in this way,

it’s my Birthday,
the Moon is full,
I’m all alone,
somewhere in Thailand,

brought my parents together for the first time in my life,
observed them over the table at dinner they acted as awkward as I,
I wanted to tell them I am their only Son and I love them,
but I said nothing I just sat there and watched them passively fight,

no birthday candles to light,
no wish to make when I close my eyes,
no party no dancing,
just me alone under the full Moon's light,

but if I had a wish it would be this,

I wish I knew a way to heal us all,
I wish I knew a way to give everyone the love they need,
I wish I knew a way to tell you it all,
I wish I knew a way to make us new and free from our own insecurities,

met a girl tonight,
she said she was an alcoholic,
said she met a guy with Aspergers,
and that they went out together and she blacked out,

she said she liked the guy she met,
but she wasn't sure because of his condition,
I told her we're all a bit crazy in our own way,
and she shouldn't let a bit of crazy affect her decisions,

then I left her how I'd found her,
I was bored and it was time for me to go,
because I found her like I find most people,
which is totally uninspiring I told you before,

all they want to do is drink poisons and talk about nonsense,
& all I want to do is ask them how their pointless lives are applicable to me at all,

alcohol and cigarettes,
*** that’s just promiscuous,

doesn’t anyone make love anymore?


it’s my Birthday,
the Moon is full,
I’m all alone,
somewhere in Thailand...

October 15th, 2016

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆
Here's your Birthday Present
Jasper Lee Oct 2020
Happy birthday.
Another year has gone by
And hopefully well spent.

I haven’t seen you this year,
Nor will I see you the next time I wish you a happy birthday.
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen your face at all.
Or heard your voice,
Listened to your laugh,
Or seen your smile.

What happened?
What happened to us?
Why did we pull apart like we did?
I mean, I know why I walked away.
I walked away for my own sanity.

But you,
You don’t have an excuse.
No, you just walked out.
You just walked out and left me here.
Left me alone.
Left me broken and hurt and scared and sad.
Not knowing what in the hell to do with myself.
You left me here to bleed out.

But that was years ago, right?
So what?
The past is the past.
Doesn’t matter now.
Okay, I’ll accept that.

I’ll pick myself up and I’ll walk on.
But why is it that whenever I hear someone say my name
For a split second, I think it’s you?
Some days I’m disappointed when it’s not.
And other days
I hold my breath hoping it’s someone else.

Happy birthday.
Another year has gone by of you breaking promises.
Another year has gone by of you breaking hearts.
And treating the people that love you the most like ****.

Happy birthday.
Even though you never call me on mine.
Even though I remember your birthday better then I remember how to breathe in the morning.
No matter how much I try to forget your birthday I’ll never get it out of my head.
I’ll always remember the day you were born,
I mean, how could I forget the day that my worst nightmare was born.

Happy birthday
To the one that crushed me.

Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
I repeat it as if it is a mantra to give me my sanity back.

You don’t have to answer my texts,
That’s fine.
I just want you to know that I’m wishing you a happy birthday.
And for every year that you have the same number
I will continue to wish you a happy birthday.

I you feel like responding, you will text back,
How have you been?”

I will respond with,
“I’m doing fine,
How about you?”

And then you will go on a tirade for 20 or 30 minutes about how great your life is
Or how sad it is.
And then you’ll ask me,
“So, what've you been up to?”

And I’ll probably get one "I've been good" out before you say,
“Yeah, that’s nice.
It’s been good talking to you.

And I’ll sit there holding my phone in some state of shock.
I’ll try to replay the conversation.
Trying to replay every one of our conversations.
Trying to see where it went wrong.
Trying to figure out where the laughs and the “how are you”s and the “oh my gosh I missed you”s
Turned into “I can’t stand this conversation.”
“Make her shut up.”
“I have to go.”
Where did that switch happen?

Even though you treat me like **** and looking back you always have.
Even though you took the person I was and you pushed her away.
And you pushed her inside a box and stuck her in some damp closet where I couldn’t reach her.
Even though you turned me into someone I wasn’t.
Someone I didn’t want to be.
I will always wish you a happy birthday.
Cause even though you used me so much,
Part of me still hopes you love me.
July 9, 1998
CJ Sutherland Mar 2018
Is a birthday a birthday without
A celebration
A child of God on his creation

Is a birthday a birthday without
A cake
The sweet smell plus the time it took to make

Is a birthday a birthday without
Blowing out candles hot dripping wax
57 candles fire to the max

is a birthday a birthday without
Singing the song
A sadness lingered all day long

it a birthday a birthday without
A friend to share it with
Or are all these reasons just a myth

Pouring Rain   fierce winds   rocked my car
I walked the mall
Beauty Salon straighten my hair
No one to notice or care
Victoria Secrets, things I did not need but made me smile
The happness only lasted a short while
Sees candy, picked out my favorite kind
Still sad loneliness on my mind
Bed bath and beyond; rosewater candles
Surely the scent would cheer my mood
Chinese’s food
wonton soup and *** stickers To take home
Painful knee ended my time to roam
Reading comments,well wishers who
remembered my Birthday
I’m done celebrating now
ready for it to go away

Text messages Facebook too
I wish I understood I wish I knew
Why I feel this way
will be
a bright
new day
Not sure why I feel this wat I spent my birthday alone
Cara Christie Nov 2015
today's my birthday,
but i don't want presents
today's my birthday,
but i don't want wishes
today's my birthday,
but i don't want to be older
today's my birthday,
but i don't want a party
today's my birthday,
but i already have everything i want

they told me that my mom loved birthdays
they told me she'd stay up all night
baking cakes and cookies and pies
they told me she planned parties months in advance
they told me she loved to sing happy birthday
and that she had perfect pitch too

they told me she made me her
famous almond dream cake
for my first birthday
smothered in coconut frosting
with one little palm tree
precariously placed on top

they told me that she
learned to knit
just for me
to make me a soft blanket
adorned with the words,
my little angel, cara

today's my birthday,
but i don't want it to be

today's my birthday,
but i don't want to remember my mother
This is just a really hard day for me. Actually, it's been a really hard month. Sorry I had to subject you to such a sad poem :(
Arlene Corwin Feb 2020
Tomorrow is my beloved Swedish Kent's birthday - a day he completely rejects.  I do not, writing this birthday poem which I will present to him in spite of all protestations. I'll bet he loves it!
         An Icke* Birthday

“I have no birthday” you insist.
Bemused, a bit confused
Reflecting, un-rejecting, I conclude,
“Good for you!
You never need add numbers to
Your written age.
You’ll grow more sage
Without a wrinkle.
Passing years will never sink you,
You who have no birthday,
Never born,
Never gone.”

At any rate,
I celebrate
This date
And will continue every eight,
For February is your birthday.
Enjoy the numberless-ness in your way.

So if I may,
I’d like to take you out to lunch
To munch on something to your taste.
Why waste an eight?
Why wait?
We’ll go to lunch sometime this week,
       our big car somewhere
To crunch on something nice to eat.
Peaceful, sweet,
We’ll have a great
                            non-birthday dear!
Your icke- birthday’s growing near.

An Icke- Birthday 2.8.2020 Birthday Book; Arlene Nover Book
*icke; Swedish for non-
Steph's Corner Oct 2013
So I turned 32 today.
Penniless birthday,

Howling rains
woke me up
and I fell back asleep.
And the cat respected my
Did not claw my lips like
my usual feline alarm.

The birthday flowers
in the morning
were vivid.
My mother bought them,
deep red and
deep yellow.

I requested
for birthday lunch
my mother’s
home-cooked burgers
and fries sprinkled with
iodized salt.
And I filled myself up
with them hot and crispy
and didn’t care if they
stayed inside my guts
until 2014.

I never really liked cake.
Opted for a dozen original glazed.
Heavenly donuts.
Two of them tumbled down
the escalators.
The first birthday flaw.
Like a bleep in the
grand scheme of
birthday things.

I brought them to a Greek
My mom and dad
and two sisters.
Not really hungry.
Just hungry
for a different taste.

The salad had candied
walnuts among the greens
and the reds.
Progressive Greece.

Then a classic lamb dish.
Classic Greece.
And the waiters
in stuffy white
bellowed a birthday
greeting, dropping the “h”
from my name.
Belted out a non-Grecian
birthday song.
No Grecian dance.

But they gave me
an ice cream treat.
Lighted a solitary
blue candle, which
balanced on the semi-liquid
hills of vanilla, caramel and
The small ice cream hills
illuminated by
the dancing
birthday light.
Pidge Sep 2015
It's my birthday
Finally Thirteen
That's when i started falling
It's my birthday
You told me to go up to my room
Mama started calling
It's my birthday
You locked the door
Your clothes are on the floor
It's my birthday
My collarbones are showing
Then I started crying
It's my birthday
You told me to shut up
Youre finally growing up
It's my birthday
You touched the cracks
of the broken glass
It's my birthday
You said it's a test
You won't make a mess
It's my birthday
You didn't take my virginity
But you took in my purity
It's my birthday
You left after kissing my forehead
so i just nodded my head
It's my birthday
I cried
I wanted to die
It's my birthday
Finally thirteen
when i started falling
kirk Jan 2018
The birthday song is not a song it's not even a small ditty
As it is only four lines long it's really rather ******
There isn't a good chorus so isn't that a pity
A catchy tune it has not got and the lyrics are not witty

This song's lyrics are so short and there all the ****** same
Apart from the 3rd line down when you substitute a name
Okay you say "Dear" instead of "To", but its still a basic frame
So this is not a song at all so why has it got the fame

It's no wonder people alter the words with monkeys in the zoo
And looking like these critters and smelling like them too
Or changed to bread and butter in the gutter or squashed tomatoes and stew
Because the song is so boring so what else can you do

Who the hell wrote this song was it someone who's autistic
Come on now lets be frank and a bit more realistic
If I where to write this song producers would go ballistic
I'd get thrown out of the biz and become a lost statistic

Just because it's your birthday I'm not singing about happy
People are compelled to sing when really its just ******
It's not the best song in the world I don't want to sound so snappy
The birthday song is full of crap just like a soiled *****

It's like we are pre programmed even Marilyn Monroe
To sing the ****** birthday song just for ****** show
But honestly this song is crap and it can surely go
And we can stop with the pretence and cease going with the flow

When your birthday does arrive and your expecting a big day
The time will come when you know your ears are going to pay
Cos someone's bound to start it with or without your say
Why does it have to be sung does it have to be this way

Singing the birthday song should not be a life compulsion
Don't succumb to the trend and quash your minds impulsion  
Stamp down on the process and enforce a song expulsion
Do away with this song and all of its revulsion

The birthday song is not a song when it's sixteen words long
Half of them are happy birthday that doesn't constitute a song
The wording is so ****** thin as thin as a snapped thong
And the musical arrangement isn't even strong

People should not sing this song not even a small bit
Why is it classed as a song we should stop singing it
Most of the words are the same and there is a lack of wit
So don't sing the birthday song cos it's not a song it's ****
Cecil Miller May 2017
It's my birthday and this year I turn ten
It's my birthday and this year I turn ten
It's my birthday and this year I turn ten
Gonna have a party and invite over all 'o my friends

It's my birthday and Papa's in the cooler again
It's my birthday and Papa's in the cooler again
It's my birthday and Papa's in the cooler again
Gonna use my birthday cash to bail him out again

Mamma says no matter, I should love my dad
Mamma says no matter, I should love my dad
Mamma says no matter, I should love my dad
I already think he's the best I could'a had

It's my birthday and Papa's in the cooler again
It's my birthday and Papa's in the cooler again
It's my birthday and Papa's in the cooler again
Gonna use my birthday cash to bail him out again

When we paid the bail, gonna walk up on a snitch
When we paid the bail, gonna walk up on a snitch
When we paid the bail, gonna walk up on a snitch
Snag him in a snag, we're gonna hitch him to a hitch
Wrote most of this one about three years ago. I finished it just now, as I was posting it. It needed a resolve.
(This seems kinda rockabilly to me)
brandon nagley Feb 2016

Happy birthday
To thee, dearest
Friend. Mayest
This remembrance of birth
Be another year for thou
To thinkest of none end's;
But a brighter tommorrow.


Resteth gal sarah,
Put away all of
Thine sorrow's,
Didst thou not
Knoweth; there's
A God who breaketh
The alshshayatin
Who cometh against


Thou art not alone,
As me and mine Jane
Art alway's there to
Be, a friend in need.
Growing seed's, to
Help-another grow.


Mayest the morrow
Be for thou, as white
As snow; mayest the
Seraphim, who surround's
Thy worries and protects
Thy home, showeth
Thee the light above thine tear's.
Smile mine friend, a friend is here.
Mayest thy sight be clear, and thy crown
Be uplifted and flared. As the world's glare
Hast betrayed thine eye's. Observeth upward
Wherein paradise lies; as thou wilt hath wing's one day
O' laureate of poetry's net. O' brilliant friend; of Jane and mine.

©Brandon Nagley
©Lonesome poet's poetry
©Thepoet(Sarah Ahmed) birthday dedication.

Sorry Sarah day late on b day dedication... But a happy wonderful birthday from me a friend if you ever need one there as you have always been there for me and Jane and have always been a major blessing to me and Jane!!! May the heavens open to you, and may you overcome your battles you face in this world...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY poetic friend !!!!
Mayest- means may...
Resteth- means rest.
Gal- young lady
alshshayatin- demons in Arabic.
Morrow- next day in archaic tongue.
Crown means head....
Seraphim- highest angels in gods kingdom.
Flared- burn with sudden intensity.
Wherein means- in which.
The world's glare betrayed thy or your eyes. Means this Sarah. The world and the wicked of the world ( demonic beings, bad people, and worldly things have tried to blind you. Though truth lies in god and in the heavens...
laureate means-
a person who is honored with an award for outstanding creative or intellectual achievement
J H Webb Jun 2012
Thought I'd get ****** on my birthday
Found I didn't really have to try
Thought I'd get ****** on my birthday
Since my friends had all said good-bye

Thought I'd get ****** on my birthday
Thought it would be better than to cry
Man I felt alone on my birthday
Will I be so alone when I die?

Thought I'd get ****** on my birthday
Lovely though my family may be
Thought I'd get ****** on my birthday
And pretend I was just 33

Thought I'd get ****** on my birthday
Even though I knew it wouldn't last
Thought I'd get ****** on my birthday
and let the whole **** day just go past
Nothing rhymes with birthday,
It's really not my fault...
I've been brainstorming since Thurthday
In my sad poetic vault,
And still NOTHING rhymes with birthday,
Though I plead and cry and moan-
I'll be sitting here 'till Earthday
With this sad pathetic poem.
Birthday, birthday, birthday--
I think it's quite absurd
That no one thought of "birthday"
When they made up rhyming words.
So when people have a birthday
All poets do is sit
And try to think of what to thay
'Cause they can't think of... it.

So it's not for lack of talent
Or money, means, or time;
This birthday poem is ******
For a lack of words that rhyme.
Nigel Morgan Dec 2012
There is a sequence of small events, signs; that as they occur point us in the direction of the mid-winter festival. This morning: the first snow; iced rain, not the soft down-like floaty stuff, but hard crystal-shaped foot-crunching shards. Yesterday, it was on with the wooly hat, the padded waistcoat and a more than just sprightly walk in a park of leafless trees. Everywhere, a damp coldness.
Sitting companionably after the meal, a fire spitting in the hearth had brought a glow to her cheeks. She was replete with glowness, her speech dancing too and fro after the family phone calls of a Sunday night. Outside, the sound of wind against the house.
Settling herself against him, feet tucked under his reclining body, she tells him about her niece, a birthday girl just two last week. This little one was touchingly innocent of what happens on a birthday. She knew it was coming, next week, soon, then tomorrow. Imagine her the night before: just think you'll wake up and be two! And that's what this birthday business is? She wakes and there is something special in the air, her sister smile-full, bouncy with expectation. Her parents’ voices are louder than usual, there are bigger hugs and longer kisses.  Birthday, birthday, birthday. Her grandparents arrive. More hugs. THEN her father appears with a cake! It's only just after breakfast, but the large people are having coffee and there's her juice cup and a cake! Birthday, birthday, birthday shouts her sister. For me, a cake for me? My cake? Daddy lights the candles! Oh, oh, oh. This is . . .  and something wrapped in pretty paper is being handed to me. Her sister, being wonderfully sisterly shows her how to remove the wrapping. A book! Read it to me now, now, please. It's my birthday, now.
This is a sign he thinks later when in bed she folds herself to him, arranges his arms and hands to hold her into sleep, still glowing a little. This is surely a sign. A child's discovery of the birth day. The joy it brings, the way it lights up our lives. And never again will her father see quite that measure of surprise and delight in his daughter's face. Next year she'll be full of expectation, know all about birthdays  . . and be three.
Timothy Brown Apr 2013
Usually people will say
happy birthday without
actually caring for the day
I am a lout

I had no idea the 26th was so important
Instead of perusing thoughts I laid dormant
Had I risen from fake wars in Afghanistan
I would have noticed it was the birthday of Lori Callahan!

I apologize for missing such a special date.
I hope it was one that no others can equate
For you deserve a day to yourself
and a special memory to put upon a shelf

Happy Birthday Lori! A friend so sweet.
Happy Birthday Lori! I hope someone massaged your feet.
Happy Birthday Lori! I hope you had a cake with candles.
Happy Birthday Lori! May this year be guided by angels.

Happy Birthday Lori Callahan!
I know this is late and I apologize profusely! This is a poem for you Lori!
© April 29th, 2013 by Timothy Brown. All rights reserved.
Maxim Keyfman Oct 2018
happy birthday companion longtime
years happy birthday be happy
never be sad happy birthday
my great friend and whose candle
never die away never happy
birthday I tell you on this day
so that you are always like the sun
so that you always have a ball like
the sky is forever forever forever forever beautiful

happy birthday i tell you my friend
eternal friend my faithful who will not leave
never came close to me
which is like millions like a bright star with the day
birthday I tell you happy birthday today
and do not leave me be happy my friend be
happy and meet you love and freedom
this human let your candles burn
just like you and let the rain not cloud

happy birthday i tell you yesterday and today
and I will always say my faithful faithful friend
my real true true friend
which I have never had an understanding
knowing and feeling congratulations on your holiday
great poet and let your soul always warm you
and don't let this rain overshadow you
he plays only for your happiness and fire
he plays only for your coming and eternal love

Jodey Ross Jul 2016
Grandparents: "Happy birthday, sweetie!"

Aunt: "How does it feel to be old?"

Uncle: "Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!"

Cousin: "Happy birthday! I love you!"

Girlfriend: "Have a very happy birthday, my love!"

Through all the enthusiasm and happy birthday wishes, I still feel an empty hole.

A depressive state that won't go away.

Five years...

Five years in a row...

My parents forgot my birthday...
I know this may not be a big deal to some but I am seventeen and I don't live with my parents. Today is my birthday and I have gotten calls from everyone else... But them...
E B Sep 2015
I turned twenty one today,
and I was hoping I would wake up 21
instead of being awake into my birthday

My thoughts were so loud it was
physically impossible to quiet them

I got a message from you saying you loved me and saying happy birthday before you fell asleep
before I fell asleep  
I smiled and knew I would see you that day

but that day, today, I woke up
after an hour of sleep at 6 am
only to watch the sunrise and share laughs
with my mother whom I shared a bed with that night, instead of you.

I drove around to try and figure out what to do
where to go, what I needed for the day,
I wound up at breakfast with my mother
and breakfast was a disappointment
the unmelted cheese on my breakfast sandwich striked me the wrong way
at breakfast you messaged me with something new that had happened
a people pleaser you are, trying to figure out what's best to do

I went to the house I'm staying at
and I tried to take a nap but my head hurt so bad I laid down for two hours  
then went for a walk

and took a good long look at the city I have moved to,
the city, that makes my heart sing
I took a breath of fresh air and reminded myself that I have chosen to be here

After that I slept
for an hour at that
and at 4:30 pm I had another message
for something else from you
that had come up

I cried and I called you
and we argued for two hours as I stood in the rain in the back yard, once again looking out at the city.

my family didn't go to dinner
because I cried too much to get myself together

I didn't do anything I wanted to do today, on my birthday, my twenty first birthday
supposedly the most memorable birthday in your life
besides fifty I guess

but today I realized that expectations don't exist for some people
and today I realized that birthdays are just another day

"Happy Birthday, Emily." you said,
as my tears ran in direct contact with the shower water

Happy Birthday Emily
Maybe next year will be better
the animals in the forest had a birthday do
it was rabbits birthday rabbit he was two
squirrel laid the table with lots of things to eat
made a birthday cake rabbits birthday treat.

badger got the chairs  so they had a seat
spread them round the table spread them nice and neat
the birds sang happy birthday everyone joined in
now the time was ready for the party to begin.

there were big balloons hanging in the trees
blowing very gently in the summer breeze
they played lots of games having lots of fun
rabbit he was happy is party had begun.

then they all down it was time to eat
time to  blow the candles out to make the day complete
rabbit took a breath and blew is candles out
happy birthday rabbit they began to shout.

now a year older another birthday gone
he cant wait till next year to have another one.
Emma Chatonoir Jan 2014
Today is your birthday
Don't starve yourself
Sure the cake may
Taste like regret
And you'll want to puke it up
Pretending it never touched your lips
But years from now
When you are eating again
You don't want to look back and go
"I've could've eaten that."

Today is your birthday
Don't self harm
Those scars are preventing you
From wearing your favorite dress
As soon as they stop multiplying
The shame will disappear
This time next year you'll wear that dress
And it will look beautiful.

Today is your birthday
Don't stay inside
Go out and enjoy
The company of friends
Yes, you do have friends
And they want to make your day
Stop making excuses
And go celebrate with them

Today is your birthday
Don't cry
You cried enough
On your actual birth day
Find something to smile about
And focus on it
Don't let the negativity get to you.

Tofay is your birthday
Don't be sad
You lived to see another year
And a rad one too
Today is a gift
That's why it's the present.

Happy birthday, you
May it be
The best birthday yet.
Happy birthday to me on 1/16
Alyssa Aug 2015
Last night I was
experimenting empty body with twin bottle.
Spewing colors out of mouth,
like it's a ******* celebration.
Whispering "happy birthday"
for every friend I've had to put in the ground.
Whispering "happy birthday"
for every time I've wished I was one of them.
I was mumbling existence
until I became unconscious scientist,
collecting data,
hoping if i continue to announce births
that we'll all be born back to flesh
that feels like home, that sings
like porch light wind chimes
that stops the announcements of deaths.
Or at least, strings together
those who want to cut their ties.
Happy birthday.
Research shows my edges
were strung a little too tight,
holding needle in hand,
i plucked away the stitching
until I was all unraveled, stay spilling over
at the seam. Everything seems low.
6 feet under, making poppy flowers
out of freshly turned graves. Happy birthday.
My vice is bath tub overflowing with drunk bodies,
leaking love into the crevices of laughter.
Testing out the theory that arms
can be used as medicine.
Turning experimental phases
into investigations. You know,
people can be placebos too.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
Brent Kincaid Jan 2017
Rooty toot toot,
Let's all give a hoot
Because today is your birthday!
Hip hip hooray!
It's your special day,
It's a wonderful magical thing to say!

Bring out the cake
Let’s all gather around
And raise up a musical
Birthday song sound.
Yippee hallelujah
It’s time to celebrate
We’re here for you
And we really can’t wait.

Rooty toot toot,
Let's all give a hoot
Because today is your birthday!
Hip hip hooray!
It's your special day,
It's a wonderful magical thing to say!

It’s always a good day
When your birthday begins;
The minute you wake up
Your birthday begins.
And if we are clever enough
And do it the right way
Your birthday continues
At least for several days.

Rooty toot toot,
Let's all give a hoot
Because today is your birthday!
Hip hip hooray!
It's your special day,
It's a wonderful magical thing to say!
Annie McLaughlin Jan 2016
Happy birthday,

from the kids
you left behind

Happy birthday,

through the promises
and lies

Happy birthday,

do they celebrate
up there?

Happy birthday,

if only your lungs
they still had air

Happy birthday,

on the first day
of the year

Happy birthday. . .
. . . Dad

I always thought you'd
make it here.
I cried on Christmas over you. Now I cried on New Years, too. In fact, I think this year started with tear stains on my cheek. But happy birthday. . . You should be here. I miss you . . .
happy birthday to you
this song i sing to you
always a song to you
never a song to me from you

happy birthday to you
this gift is from me to you
a friendship obligation towards you
but never remembered by you

happy birthday to you
here i am eating with you
smiling for the birth of you
while all i had was an online greeting from you

happy birthday to you
perhaps it never crossed you
that i have a birthday just like you
and i have yet to celebrate mine with you
enough of 'friends' who just want you to celebrate their birthdays and never make effort to celebrate your much for 'friends'..thank you for making me jealous all the lucky people out there who have friends to celebrate their birthdays while i have none..i have no friends..**** life..
Mr Ketchup had quite forgotten what day it was...
Poor old Mr Ketchup was so down in the dumps
as nobody remembered it was his birthday.
and O dear tears began to roll down his cheeks
like water from a tap, in fact he cried that much
that he went through umpteen packs of tissues.
His face looked like a big red quashed tomato.
and if that wasn't bad enough his hair looked like
he'd been dragged through a bush. O bother he moaned
its no use feeling sorry for myself I am not getting any
sympathy, from the cat neither.
a wee while later after he had found his old torn rain coat
and musty old wellingtons boots off he trotted down a steep hill to yellow market to buy himself something for his birthday.
You see he just couldn't help himself Mr Ketchup had to be the cent re of
attention and he certainly wasn't getting any from his friends
had they forgotten all about Mr Ketchup's birthday.?
well perhaps they might have,!!!
wait a second what day is this is it Saturday
Oh fiddle sticks this is Friday and it isn't my birthday until tomorrow
Oh what a silly sausage I am he grunted to himself
fancy that in that case I better put these things back, I won't be
needing the presents anymore and I cannot afford to waste my money
on pointless things.  Knowing haggis and neaps they will probably spoil
me rotten I knew something wasn't quite right it would be most unusual
for Haggis and Neaps not to remember my birthday and who knows they might even throw in a surprise  birthday party..
Mr Ketchup began to get very excited about is birthday at least he didn't
appear to have a face like a quashed tomato.
Oh dear Mr Ketchup You are such a funny person what are we going to do
with you.
Jack Jul 2014

This halfway point, where we do meet
Between your day and mine
I send to you the grandest wish
Of birthday happy times

Full of love and laughter
Lots of presents
I send you the biggest wish
On your big birthday event

We won’t need cake and ice cream
No fancy party faire
Just your smile will do just fine
On this a day we share

So have a very happy day
I'll be here singing and smiling
Have a wonderful day
And keep shining

And shine I will as long as you
Will shine along with me
As we celebrate our days
Our birthdays, happily

Happy Birthday Sye 7/27

Happy Birthday Jack 7/16
Today is the halfway point between Sye's birthday and mine, so we thought we'd celebrate a little today.
BoF May 2015
I remember as a child being overly excited for my birthday
every year I wouldn't be able to sleep just counting down the hours
When I did eventually fall asleep
I was quick to rise the next day
My mom who worked over nights
Would call me in the morning to send me blessings and good fortune
She was always the first person to say "happy birthday"
I've always loved my birthday
Because it was the one day I truly felt special
Felt wanted...
Now it's my birthday and I can't sleep
But not from excitement
But from reoccurring insomnia
My mom called at 12:02am
But she wasn't the first this year
a boy named "A"
Sent me a picture of his *****
And said it was my "gift"
(Isn't that sweet)
The Moment she said "happy birthday" I bust into tears
I'm glad she didn't hear me cause
I wouldn't know how to explain to her
How broken I feel
How I've thought of
death a million times
in the last hour..
This year I don't feel so special
I don't feel wanted
I feel drained
Fed up
When the sun rises
I plan on buying enough drugs to numb my pain
Listen to the same song on reply
And hope that the day fades quickly
Happy Birthday to me.

Sleep can't come soon enough
Delta Swingline Feb 2018
My birthday comes in a little over 2 weeks and I think when people talk about birthdays, they are secretly talking about status in blocked hours.

Somewhere in that 24 hour block, a person was born, and that person was me. .....well Yay I guess.

I don't like my birthday. And the reasons for that, are more complicated than you think.

When I was 13, I was really into cupcake birthday cakes. I asked for one, every year, for a long time.

When I turned 15 and 16, my best friend baked me cupcakes and brought them to school for me, and I shared them with my peers. You see, I considered her my best friend, and I guess that's not enough to be the best friend.

It's like unrequited love if you put poisonous platonic friendship in my blood first.

When I turned 17, she did baked me my last set of cupcakes, but I no longer had a best friend. So I spent my birthday mentally by myself while my family sang otherwise.

And right now, I hate cupcakes, and superhero films because they remind me of her. But saying that is the weakest thing to do, since everything, reminds me of her.

I will never admit I loved her, the same way she will shamelessly say she never loved me. I can't hate her, but I can't see her without hating myself.

You know age, goes up, the same way sadness, goes down. Pulling you into another 24 hour block just so you can say.

"Hey. I made it another day."

I will admit that every day without her is another day without cupcakes, and another day without sugar is another day without happiness. And people may have asked me "How can you flip-flop between preferences like you're not the biggest homosexual in the closet." So when I tell people I'm straight, they tell me I'm not allowed to change my mind.

I loved her, but she left me and took all of my friends with her. And I thought that real friends wouldn't abandon me, but there is always time to be wrong. By the time my birthday comes, I'll be crying, and she doesn't even remember what day my birthday is on.

By the time I read this out loud, I will have been through this birthday, like a person walks through fire. Turning 16 is less about age, then it is about school, and turning 18, is less about the number, and more about becoming an adult. And no amount of adult can neutralize pain.

I have accepted the fact that no man will ever really want to marry me. And no Christian, will ever truly want to love me.
And if I am wrong, I will have to repeat this lost love forever dragging it out in my life.

And if I have kids one day, do you really think...

That I'm going to tell everyone if it's a boy or a girl...

By making blue or pink...

Sophie Herzing Aug 2013
I delivered
chocolate-chocolate chip cookies
to your house the other day after midnight
because it was you nineteenth birthday and you hate that day
above all other's
so I decided to celebrate
by making you junk food even though you're on a diet
and just came from a late night workout
and you'll ask me why
I care about something so much that's not even that special
and I'll tell you it's simply because
"It's your birthday!"
"Why wouldn't I?"
but really
truth is

You're going away and I haven't decided how I'm going to deal with that yet.
You're going away and I haven't been able to write.
You're going away and this may be the last
I'll see you on your birthday.

So take the **** cookies and say thank you,
because I baked them while I was crying over missing you
and tried my hardest not to let the tears fall in the batter.
No one should have to taste sadness like that.

Don't be mad at me because you're bitter about your birthday
and you can't stand it when people show that they care about you,
because you don't know how hard this is for me.

I bet you never even thought how hard
it will be for me
and that's why I baked the cookies.
That's why I'm so upset and that's why I'm begging you
to come outside and just kiss me on your birthday
because I've been counting how many kisses I have left
before you're too far away to feel me.
Just give me all you've got while we still have the chance.

This is going to be hard enough when you're gone
so don't make it so hard now.
Just kiss me and eat the cookies.

and happy birthday.
I put on my Sunday best
Wait by the door have my bible rest  at my side
With my skinned up knees and little party dress
Today is my birthday I feel extra nice
My mother polished my shoes and bought me fancy ruffled socks
I await with anticipation to head to my church
A place to feel protected this I’m sure
It is such a warm day I feel the sun kiss my youthful skin
Can’t believe I’m twelve today
Thoughts race through my head
I wonder if they will remember and do something special?
Will I get a new bible for mine is tattered and the cover is torn
I wonder? It does serve the purpose so maybe not
I watch the cars go on by  one by one
Feeling a bit antsy maybe they forgot to get me today
But within a few minutes I’m on my way
With a happy birthday from some fellow church members
I feel so proud twelve years old time flies by  
We head into the house of God
I could hear the bell charming oh so loud
My favorite sound on Sunday morning
My stomach starts to growl it distracts me
Punch and cookies await for me
Church hymns begin to waken my ears
I fiddle with the lace  on my new pretty dress
Clicking my heals and accidentally hit the wooden bench
I’m in the house of god
Mommy always taught me to not entertain myself with other thoughts
So I focus on that white and black collar
He is so large standing like a king
One bead at a time let my fingers dance across
I think of sunflowers and rainbow colors
We stand up and sit down and repeat this again
Its time for fellowship to begin
I need to get myself a drink its stifling hot in here  
I tell the family that brought me here that I would be back in a bit
I skip to get a drink that water is so cold
Why do I like drinking out of a fountain? Is it  because it tickles my nose?
After cookies and punch I’m told I have an extra surprise
For today I can get a ride home
I see the black and white collar its looks so scratchy
But this is Gods house and he does what’s best
As  people say goodbyes and I sit and wait for my surprise
Maybe because momma can’t afford much I will get something nice
Its peaceful as the church hymns are gone

I have never been in here when it is silent
He tells me to sit down and gives me a drink
It taste familiar maybe that wine that only those who had communion can taste
I drink it down so fast it makes me a little dizzy
Perhaps it’s the heat in this building
The fans seemed to be broken on the hottest of Southern days
Father tells me my dress is pretty
I smile politely waiting for a surprise
He ask if my socks are new and I reply with a very loud excited “Yes “
What have I done to get the attention like this?
My best friend had a birthday two Sundays ago
What did she get?
I hear mommas voice run in my head don’t entertain yourself in the house of the Lord
So I close my eyes for a moment or two
So I hear today is your birthday , that makes you a special girl
I nod my head still feeling a little loopy
May I take your picture for the church paper?
You look so pretty but first take your hair down
I release my braids one at a time
My hair is wavy and long and so baby fine
I show off my socks so proud of them
He smiles at me with his  bright smile
Can I see you twirl around in your Sunday best ?
I giggle and spin in a circle or two
Smile he tells me so I do
Come sit here I sit upon a desk
I must be special to be up here
Father asks to see what’s under my dress
I ask why but know father knows best
For a quick moment I lift my dress
Feeling my face become flushed
Its alright you’re the birthday girl
I ask if I get a bible he says after were done with pictures and such
I sit quietly listening to his voice its deep but soothing
My feet don’t want to hold still
I try and be polite and use my manners just like momma likes
He has his fingers stroke my face they are soft but large and feel nice
May I give you a birthday kiss? I have seen my elders  kissing and practiced on my doll
This wont be wrong we are where god lives
His lips graze mine slowly at first
Then it becomes harder and he is full of thirst
These hot Southern days
His face feels like sand paper like grandpa has to make his Christmas gifts
It warms me suddenly then cools me down
I feel a burning between my legs it aches
He reaches for me my wavy hair resting in his hands
I feel so special but keep wondering what my gift will be
He gives me another drink of that pretty red stuff
Giving me sips slowly as he grips the cup
It spills down my lips a little at a time
But we don’t waste any he drinks it from my chin
I feel as though I suddenly forgot how to breathe
There is something under my slip of my dress
It makes me at ease
At night when I go to sleep and put my head on the pillow
I feel that kind of rest
There is an sensation in my chest
He reaches up and pinches these small pink eraser like dots
A noise is able to escape it’s a noise I have heard before
Through closed doors but never from me
He takes off my dress slowly and meticulously
I don’t want to rip my new dress or the slip that grandma made
His mouth finds my little mounds of pink and nibbles away
He makes no sound I finally breathe
As colors start to run down his neck and onto the once white crisp shirt
He removes it . I want to touch it feel it around my neck
Its just paper with cloth but he allows me this
So I stand with my *****  pink erasers and this collar
I wonder am I a man of God now?
He asks if I would like to see why he is a man
I apply yes use my manners so nice
He takes my hand and puts it on a warm hard lump that is escaping his pants
I’m not scared I feel safe
He takes out the thing that makes him a man and he wants it against my face
My birthday present at last
Father is careful placing it  on my lips
So I try and kiss it like its one of my dolls
I feel kind of silly so I ask him how
Like a ice-cream take your time
Go in circles over this spot
So I do and it grows I try and put it in my mouth
My lips are sore and I need a drink
He laughs at me and gives me more red drink
I want you to lay down he says to me
So I do and feel like I have been on a merry go around
He removes my flowered printed *******
My stomach starts to feel woozy  
But I still feel good
I’m twelve today he is so impressed
I lay down with butterflies in my chest
At first it hurt his finger exploring me
But then it was like a warm day and a cool breeze washed over me
It kind of tickled when he put his tongue there
I giggled and moved my hips
But something happened that felt like my favorite candy
My body wouldn’t quit moving beneath his face
I shivered and wondered am I getting sick
Then just like that it was over
He flipped me around and put his fingers in another place
I was kind of worried that I done something wrong
He reassured me that I was doing fine
Something felt warm on my behind
He told me its going to hurt but it will be alright
I felt a pain that heard a sound  
His rough deep voice maybe this is where he belongs
For a moment I didn’t breathe
I held back the tears because I’m twelve a big girl
He turns me over once again takes my tears and put them in his mouth
He was looking for salvation he drank every last one
So as I lay thinking of rainbows and the evening sky
He has some fluid that I drink like the wine
It tasted like nothing but was thick and made me feel shy
But as we finish he hands me a new bible I tear a page and wipe myself dry

— The End —