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"birthday" poems
That pure innocent smile, Your childish face and that side profile, Your silky hair and that perfect hairstyle, Would never forget you. **** I miss you! The touch of your smooth skin, That beautiful little chin, Your blushy cheeks and that grin, Still I adore you. **** I miss you! Those big dope eyes, That Stupid nose , Those size 7 feet and pinky toes. Your medications and Ayurvedic dose. Wish again to feel you. **** I miss you! Baby I still remember, that freezy December, The day we fell off the scooter, Your stupid buggy computer. Our first date and the perfect kiss, That raining night we spent in balcony When you burnt the toast and macrony, That birthday card you made me, Helping in projects and assignments, You taking care when I got sick, I recall all those perfect memories of you, still there's a place for you, **** I miss you! I wish you would have waited, I would have come back, But I can't blame you, It was me who needed the space, The fault is my OWN! So I am the one left ALONE! :'(
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Jul 26, 2018
Jul 26, 2018 at 11:42 PM UTC
**** I Miss You!
Alam ko kaarawan mo nung abril labindalawang at ngayon Humahabol pa ako sa regalo ko na tula para lang sayo. Naaalala kita bilang aking best friend nung intermediate palang tayo Ngayon pati sa facebook konektado pa rin ako sayo Paminsan-minsan ikaw nagchachat sa kin at minsan ako rin naman Nagsheshare ng problema at nagbibigayan ng tips kahit papano man Ngayon dalagita na tayo, marami na rin mga problema sa school at iba kaso Gusto pa rin kita makausap ng matagalan eh marami lang talagang inaasikaso Nagkataon nagkita tayo sa mall at ang napansin ko bigla ka tumangkad Syempre naingit agad, hindi ako pinagpala ng diyos ng tangkad eh. Natutuwa ako nakilala kita noon at nagkakilalan tayo ng lubos Kahit malayo tayo sa isa't isa, at saka nagpapasalamat rin ako  Naging best friend kita at lagi tayo nagtutulungan  Kung may problema tayong hinaharap. Kung alam mo lang maeffort ako kung hindi lang natatamad Lalo na sa pagibig kung pinageffortan dapat masuklian. Pasensya na kung nahuli ako ibigay ang regalo ko para lang talaga sayo Nagpapasalamat ako sa lahat ng alaala natin dalawa at sa susunod pa. Mahal kita dahil naging parte ka na rin sa buong buhay ko! Happy Birthday! To the 16th girl Vivien Hannah Isabel Estrada!
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Apr 15, 2017
Apr 15, 2017 at 9:51 AM UTC
Maligayang kaarawan aking kaibigan
Is it not easy   to greet to someone whom you never spoke for a very long time? Among all people, I am the only one you've always bypass to talk to I know the hindrance why we ward off each other just to make ourselves escape the stigma Curiosity gets bigger Each time I look at you Should I wait patiently Or take the wheel further One thing I could do... All what I wanted to say, all my thoughts about you, are profoundly veiled You and me are the only ones to know what's in... where people shouldn't know A storage box of unspoken words a birthday bag of sweets If you are reading this do not assume that I did them
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Jul 25, 2018
Jul 25, 2018 at 10:16 AM UTC
Countless Stars
It's been nine years now. Nine years since the angels took you away. Nine years since I stood at the home, looking at your peaceful face; eyes closed, a ghost of a smile gracing your lips. It doesn't seem that long. It seems like yesterday you were calling me your little princess; I'm still that little girl at heart. The one who believed she would grow up to be a beautiful elegant contessa. I don't have many memories of the times we shared as I was only young when you passed. In fact, sometimes I struggle to picture your gorgeous, smiling face telling me stories of your past of advice for when I grew into an elegant older woman just like you were then. I was only 6... 6 years old and I had to go through the pain and heartache of having my nan cruelly taken away from me. I'll be 16 next year. I'll be having my prom next year. I will be leaving year 11, getting my GCSE results and starting A-levels next year. So much has happened in these 9 short, short years. There is so much more to come and you won't be here to share it with me. My graduation from university, my first career move, my marriage, my children... Your great-grandchildren. You won't be here for the good times, the bad...The happy and the sad... There are certain qualities about you that I will always remember... Being made banana sandwiches every time we went round to your house! Having a Sunday roast with you and Granddad every single week! Your 60th birthday (I knocked Zack down and felt so chuffed!) The last birthday you ever spent with me... You made my birthday cake that year... If I remember correctly, it was a princess castle with all the Disney princesses stood around it! You told me I deserved a cake because I was a beautiful princess also. I know you will be looking down on me and the family just to make sure we are alright! I just hope it's a smile on your face and not a frown! I hope I have made you proud nan... I really do. I hope you Rest In Peace nan and I will never forget you. Forever in our hearts and minds. 15/06/2004... We love you nan and always will. <3
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Aug 2, 2013
Aug 2, 2013 at 6:56 PM UTC
Nan...
It's been nine years now. Nine years since the angels took you away. Nine years since I stood at the home, looking at your peaceful face; eyes closed, a ghost of a smile gracing your lips. It doesn't seem that long. It seems like yesterday you were calling me your little princess; I'm still that little girl at heart. The one who believed she would grow up to be a beautiful elegant contessa. I don't have many memories of the times we shared as I was only young when you passed. In fact, sometimes I struggle to picture your gorgeous, smiling face telling me stories of your past of advice for when I grew into an elegant older woman just like you were then. I was only 6... 6 years old and I had to go through the pain and heartache of having my nan cruelly taken away from me. I'll be 16 next year. I'll be having my prom next year. I will be leaving year 11, getting my GCSE results and starting A-levels next year. So much has happened in these 9 short, short years. There is so much more to come and you won't be here to share it with me. My graduation from university, my first career move, my marriage, my children... Your great-grandchildren. You won't be here for the good times, the bad...The happy and the sad... There are certain qualities about you that I will always remember... Being made banana sandwiches every time we went round to your house! Having a Sunday roast with you and Granddad every single week! Your 60th birthday (I knocked Zack down and felt so chuffed!) The last birthday you ever spent with me... You made my birthday cake that year... If I remember correctly, it was a princess castle with all the Disney princesses stood around it! You told me I deserved a cake because I was a beautiful princess also. I know you will be looking down on me and the family just to make sure we are alright! I just hope it's a smile on your face and not a frown! I hope I have made you proud nan... I really do. I hope you Rest In Peace nan and I will never forget you. Forever in our hearts and minds. 15/06/2004... We love you nan and always will. <3
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Mahal na kilala kita sa simpleng haha Minisage kita kahit di kita kilala Sabi ko sayo hi ganda Di ko inakalang mag rereply ka Sabi mo salamat huh. Sa simpleng batian tayo nag simula Humaba ng humaba mga salita Hanggang sa nakita ko Ay hala mag kabirthday tayong dalawa Mapag biro ang tadhana Mas lalo akong naligaw sa bitag nya Pero sa pag kaligaw ko nahanap kita Sabay tayong na ligaw sa tamis ng tadhana Tapos sabi mo mahal may sekreto ka Mapag biro nga ang tadhana Kasi kng gaanu katamis ang pag mamahal mo Ganun din kasaklap ang katotohanang d pueding maging tayo Di pueding maging tayo kasi may nakatali na sayo Pero kinain ko ang lahat ng pait na to At oo kasalanan ko Ang dating maliit na biro ng tadhana Naging libingan ko Pero ayaw kong bumangon mula dito Pinilit ko,pinilit mo at naging tayo Kahit mapait pinilit natin na patamisin ito At naging okay tayo Ang saya nga ng birthday natin pareho Sinupresa mo ako At sa unang pag kakataon Napag tanto ko na mahal mo nga ako May pa cake kpa mahal at palobo Tumulo ang luha ko Kasi di ko inakala sa magiging masaya ako Magiging masaya ang kaarawan ko Kaya salamat sayo mahal ko Pero habang tumatagal mahal Mawawala na tayo Halos di ko na maaninag ang iyong anino Nalungkot ako Pero bumalik ka mahal At sinabi mo pabalik na siya Ang nakatali sayo Gumuho ang mundo ko Ang dating hukay ngayon ang naging bangin Wala ng takas sa sakit Ang sabi mo aayusin mo mahal Tataposin na ang dapat taposin Pero paanu kng sa istoryang to Ako ang pangalawa Ako ang kirido Ako ang maninira ng pamilya At siya,sya ang una at ang pinakasalan mo sa harap ng dambana. Mahal anu ang laban ko Nasasaktan ako At oo di ko pueding isisi sayo to Kasi ginusto ko din naman. Namalibing sa bangin na ito Pinaglaruan tayo ng tadhana Yung akala kong magiging masaya Nasa binggit na ng kataposan nya Ayaw ko man sana ipilit Pero sa bawat hagupit ng sakit Pangalan mo aking sinasambit Mahal naririnig mo pa ba ako Pag dumating siya panu na tayo Maaalala mo pa kaya ang mga pangako mo Na magiging masaya tayo Kasi kung ganun kakainin ko na din ang pait na ito Ou ako na bahala sa lahat ng pait Basta mahal mangako ka Di tayo aabot sa dulo Pero paanu sakanya ka kasado Ako,pangalawa lang ako Nadudurog na ako Gusto ko na sana taposin ito Pero paanu kng mahal kita Minamahal kita ng todo Ngayon gusto mo palain ako... Pero paanu kng sa bawat paalam mo Sinasambit **** mahal mo ako Mahal mo nga ba talaga ako O mahal mo lng ako kasi binubou ko ang kulang niya sayo Please kng aalis ka umalis ka lng Kasi di applicable sa atin ang kng mag mahal ka ng dalawa piliin mo ang pangalawa kasi sa una pa lng nakatali kana.
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Oct 20, 2017
Oct 20, 2017 at 4:08 AM UTC
Pangalawa
Mahal na kilala kita sa simpleng haha Minisage kita kahit di kita kilala Sabi ko sayo hi ganda Di ko inakalang mag rereply ka Sabi mo salamat huh. Sa simpleng batian tayo nag simula Humaba ng humaba mga salita Hanggang sa nakita ko Ay hala mag kabirthday tayong dalawa Mapag biro ang tadhana Mas lalo akong naligaw sa bitag nya Pero sa pag kaligaw ko nahanap kita Sabay tayong na ligaw sa tamis ng tadhana Tapos sabi mo mahal may sekreto ka Mapag biro nga ang tadhana Kasi kng gaanu katamis ang pag mamahal mo Ganun din kasaklap ang katotohanang d pueding maging tayo Di pueding maging tayo kasi may nakatali na sayo Pero kinain ko ang lahat ng pait na to At oo kasalanan ko Ang dating maliit na biro ng tadhana Naging libingan ko Pero ayaw kong bumangon mula dito Pinilit ko,pinilit mo at naging tayo Kahit mapait pinilit natin na patamisin ito At naging okay tayo Ang saya nga ng birthday natin pareho Sinupresa mo ako At sa unang pag kakataon Napag tanto ko na mahal mo nga ako May pa cake kpa mahal at palobo Tumulo ang luha ko Kasi di ko inakala sa magiging masaya ako Magiging masaya ang kaarawan ko Kaya salamat sayo mahal ko Pero habang tumatagal mahal Mawawala na tayo Halos di ko na maaninag ang iyong anino Nalungkot ako Pero bumalik ka mahal At sinabi mo pabalik na siya Ang nakatali sayo Gumuho ang mundo ko Ang dating hukay ngayon ang naging bangin Wala ng takas sa sakit Ang sabi mo aayusin mo mahal Tataposin na ang dapat taposin Pero paanu kng sa istoryang to Ako ang pangalawa Ako ang kirido Ako ang maninira ng pamilya At siya,sya ang una at ang pinakasalan mo sa harap ng dambana. Mahal anu ang laban ko Nasasaktan ako At oo di ko pueding isisi sayo to Kasi ginusto ko din naman. Namalibing sa bangin na ito Pinaglaruan tayo ng tadhana Yung akala kong magiging masaya Nasa binggit na ng kataposan nya Ayaw ko man sana ipilit Pero sa bawat hagupit ng sakit Pangalan mo aking sinasambit Mahal naririnig mo pa ba ako Pag dumating siya panu na tayo Maaalala mo pa kaya ang mga pangako mo Na magiging masaya tayo Kasi kung ganun kakainin ko na din ang pait na ito Ou ako na bahala sa lahat ng pait Basta mahal mangako ka Di tayo aabot sa dulo Pero paanu sakanya ka kasado Ako,pangalawa lang ako Nadudurog na ako Gusto ko na sana taposin ito Pero paanu kng mahal kita Minamahal kita ng todo Ngayon gusto mo palain ako... Pero paanu kng sa bawat paalam mo Sinasambit **** mahal mo ako Mahal mo nga ba talaga ako O mahal mo lng ako kasi binubou ko ang kulang niya sayo Please kng aalis ka umalis ka lng Kasi di applicable sa atin ang kng mag mahal ka ng dalawa piliin mo ang pangalawa kasi sa una pa lng nakatali kana.
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84
*here's how it happens the morning after you reach into the drawer where the your t-shirts live to find it austere you'll shrug because you're still drunk & you can't remember when last it was that you had something wet or how long it's been since you made the floorboards blush or why the carpet is upset who wouldn't be the contents to the upended ashtray strewn around the apartment resemble the aftermath of the smallest war to ever take place in norfolk some midnight thief must've made off with the lighter because it isn't in any of your favorite spots maybe you chucked it along with a hundred other things that make noise when they land in the neighbors yard you won't remember putting the refrigerator's belongings in the bathtub or scrawling a buzzard on the bedroom door but then again who would you'll pretend it's spring again before putting on your winter coat to go out front with a cigarette in your mouth you'll hope for a passing stranger to *** a light from or drag yourself to the corner with couch cushion change to buy a new lighter and on your way you won't bother looking back this is just another day on eggshells for no reason another november choking on birthday candles on your way home you step over beer cans the kind you fell in love with and wonder who had the last laugh last night or if anyone said a word at all it might've been another moment of clarity it might have been some idiot savant any adjective that feels like home anything that keeps you thirsty*
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Nov 18, 2014
Nov 18, 2014 at 10:30 PM UTC
plain as day
*here's how it happens the morning after you reach into the drawer where the your t-shirts live to find it austere you'll shrug because you're still drunk & you can't remember when last it was that you had something wet or how long it's been since you made the floorboards blush or why the carpet is upset who wouldn't be the contents to the upended ashtray strewn around the apartment resemble the aftermath of the smallest war to ever take place in norfolk some midnight thief must've made off with the lighter because it isn't in any of your favorite spots maybe you chucked it along with a hundred other things that make noise when they land in the neighbors yard you won't remember putting the refrigerator's belongings in the bathtub or scrawling a buzzard on the bedroom door but then again who would you'll pretend it's spring again before putting on your winter coat to go out front with a cigarette in your mouth you'll hope for a passing stranger to *** a light from or drag yourself to the corner with couch cushion change to buy a new lighter and on your way you won't bother looking back this is just another day on eggshells for no reason another november choking on birthday candles on your way home you step over beer cans the kind you fell in love with and wonder who had the last laugh last night or if anyone said a word at all it might've been another moment of clarity it might have been some idiot savant any adjective that feels like home anything that keeps you thirsty*
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59
To end up alone in a tomb of a room without cigarettes or wine-- just a lightbulb and a potbelly, grayhaired, and glad to have the room. ...in the morning they're out there making money: judges, carpenters, plumbers, doctors, newsboys, policemen, barbers, carwashers, dentists, florists, waitresses, cooks, cabdrivers... and you turn over to your left side to get the sun on your back and out of your eyes. from "All's Normal Here" - 1985
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32.8k
Poem For My 43rd Birthday
I do not like this phase of a heart break. When you purposely avoid love songs, Or sometimes you play them just to make yourself feel like your hearts still pounding. When the person you loved and hid from every waking soul is brought into a conversation. Or when he isn't. When you see other lovers who have made it years without the cruel hand of fate ripping their love from them. Or when you see they haven't. When you notice him writing you smaller, casual messages when they use to be breathtaking and beautiful. Or when he doesn't write at all. When I ask you if I am pushing you away and you say no. *"Alright, happy birthday! Text me later tonight?" "Will do"* When every hidden goodbye ends with those two words. And my broken, belittled heart. (i. r.)
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Mar 15, 2014
Mar 15, 2014 at 1:47 PM UTC
Or
i. I intentionally failed to wish you a happy birthday this year, though I know significant dates, hours, moments, people, by heart. I still search for you in boys I mistake for bandages, the ones with eyes almost the same shade of your hazels, lips resounding your laughter, resembling a wisp of your smile, But they aren't you. ii. Sometimes I pretend you're dead, because it's less painful to stop reaching out into voids. iii. My mom still blames you for everything that preceded that year. Though you probably had no idea what happened when we stopped talking altogether. Can you believe it's almost been three years? iv. My dad wonders who was my 'one that got away' Though, I'm pretty sure he knows it's you. v. Remember how I mentioned Sylvia Plath? How most everything she wrote brimmed with melancholy? How I loved every single word? Especially that piece where she talked about expectations and disappointments. You'll never know that up to this day I still think people are selfish enough to always, eventually turn into the latter. Even you. vi. It's sad I never got the chance to tell you about Ted. How she loved him so much, she just had to figuratively dive headfirst into the flames-- burning herself, what was left of her-- after she found out he never really loved her the same way she loved him in the first place. vii. *truth is, some of us never learn to accept the love we think we deserve.* viii. I don't know if you still read my poems or if you still think about me, about us, sometimes. Every time you fall asleep past eleven, a part of me hopes you do. because I always remember you-- in birthday candles, red ribbons, off-tune voice records, golden arches, concrete sidewalks, pedestrian lanes, the last flickers of city lights softly fading out of the blue. I remember you in everything, in everywhere, in everyone. It's useless, no matter how much I try to forget. No matter how much I just want to forget. I want to forget. But, how could I? When forgetting means forsaking the very memory of you.
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Jul 9, 2018
Jul 9, 2018 at 6:00 AM UTC
i'm sorry. i thought i was done writing about you
i. I intentionally failed to wish you a happy birthday this year, though I know significant dates, hours, moments, people, by heart. I still search for you in boys I mistake for bandages, the ones with eyes almost the same shade of your hazels, lips resounding your laughter, resembling a wisp of your smile, But they aren't you. ii. Sometimes I pretend you're dead, because it's less painful to stop reaching out into voids. iii. My mom still blames you for everything that preceded that year. Though you probably had no idea what happened when we stopped talking altogether. Can you believe it's almost been three years? iv. My dad wonders who was my 'one that got away' Though, I'm pretty sure he knows it's you. v. Remember how I mentioned Sylvia Plath? How most everything she wrote brimmed with melancholy? How I loved every single word? Especially that piece where she talked about expectations and disappointments. You'll never know that up to this day I still think people are selfish enough to always, eventually turn into the latter. Even you. vi. It's sad I never got the chance to tell you about Ted. How she loved him so much, she just had to figuratively dive headfirst into the flames-- burning herself, what was left of her-- after she found out he never really loved her the same way she loved him in the first place. vii. *truth is, some of us never learn to accept the love we think we deserve.* viii. I don't know if you still read my poems or if you still think about me, about us, sometimes. Every time you fall asleep past eleven, a part of me hopes you do. because I always remember you-- in birthday candles, red ribbons, off-tune voice records, golden arches, concrete sidewalks, pedestrian lanes, the last flickers of city lights softly fading out of the blue. I remember you in everything, in everywhere, in everyone. It's useless, no matter how much I try to forget. No matter how much I just want to forget. I want to forget. But, how could I? When forgetting means forsaking the very memory of you.
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Anxiety is not stress. Anxiety is not some umbrella term you can use to describe how you feel when your favorite character in a book is in an intense battle unless you can somehow feel how fast their heart is beating until you can feel how hot their blood is until you can feel what it’s like to be that character in that situation the weight of the world on your shoulders Anxiety is not finding lighting candles to be the only solution, candles are another problem. Another long paragraph to your list of “Things That Can Easily **** Me” example: “I didn’t leave any matches out, did I? I blew out the candle right? I need to check. Do I smell burning?? PUT THE CAP WHEN IT’S DONE! Will set off my fire alarm? Does my fire alarm work? Where’s my fire alarm??? Where’s somewhere I can put it so it doesn’t hurt me. THIS IS OK THIS IS NORMAL THIS IS RELAXATION.” Anxiety is not stress. Anxiety is horrible flashing images, constant reminders, the most negative form of “what if” imaginable. Anxiety is wasting all your time thinking about an 8 page paper due for class in a week but instead of bringing yourself to writing it you are sobbing on the floor thinking of how bad for your grade this will be. Anxiety is having a crush on a girl and trying out makeup for the first time. Anxiety is having a crush on a guy and wondering if your sense of humor is funny enough. Anxiety is not stress. Anxiety is downloading an app that checks on your health and leaves you wondering how long this has been going on for. Anxiety is wondering how to fix your eating disorder instead of actually fixing it Anxiety is outing yourself to fit in Anxiety is always wearing pants because you’re too afraid of your own scars Anxiety is staying up countless nights crying crying crying you cannot yell your thoughts are no longer your own Anxiety is writing a list of pros and cons to killing yourself Anxiety is lighting a candle so you can slowly burn the list because Anxiety is telling you if someone finds out, you will die. Anxiety is not stress. Anxiety is having making a friend and losing them in less than a year Anxiety is wondering if all this help is helping or do I need to help myself Anxiety is your friends questioning you non-stop are they really questioning you or do you question yourself? Anxiety is memorizing the suicide prevention hotline Anxiety is beating yourself up countless times “How could you forget something as simple as a Birthday?!” Anxiety is “I only have three friends and one hates me, one I’m trying not to lose, and the other I love too much to tell the truth” Anxiety is “It’s only a matter of time before we all die!” Anxiety is “Congratulations! Two of your friends have died this year alone! One ******* hates you! Oh! HAHA! Wait! They all ******* hate you!” Anxiety can turn you from “Wow. I look kinda good today.” to ”DYSPHORIA! DYSPHORIA! DYSPHORIA!” JUST ******* KIDDING! ANXIETY IS STRESS! AND MUCH MUCH MORE!!!!!!!!
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Dec 29, 2015
Dec 29, 2015 at 3:50 PM UTC
Anxiety is not Stress
Anxiety is not stress. Anxiety is not some umbrella term you can use to describe how you feel when your favorite character in a book is in an intense battle unless you can somehow feel how fast their heart is beating until you can feel how hot their blood is until you can feel what it’s like to be that character in that situation the weight of the world on your shoulders Anxiety is not finding lighting candles to be the only solution, candles are another problem. Another long paragraph to your list of “Things That Can Easily **** Me” example: “I didn’t leave any matches out, did I? I blew out the candle right? I need to check. Do I smell burning?? PUT THE CAP WHEN IT’S DONE! Will set off my fire alarm? Does my fire alarm work? Where’s my fire alarm??? Where’s somewhere I can put it so it doesn’t hurt me. THIS IS OK THIS IS NORMAL THIS IS RELAXATION.” Anxiety is not stress. Anxiety is horrible flashing images, constant reminders, the most negative form of “what if” imaginable. Anxiety is wasting all your time thinking about an 8 page paper due for class in a week but instead of bringing yourself to writing it you are sobbing on the floor thinking of how bad for your grade this will be. Anxiety is having a crush on a girl and trying out makeup for the first time. Anxiety is having a crush on a guy and wondering if your sense of humor is funny enough. Anxiety is not stress. Anxiety is downloading an app that checks on your health and leaves you wondering how long this has been going on for. Anxiety is wondering how to fix your eating disorder instead of actually fixing it Anxiety is outing yourself to fit in Anxiety is always wearing pants because you’re too afraid of your own scars Anxiety is staying up countless nights crying crying crying you cannot yell your thoughts are no longer your own Anxiety is writing a list of pros and cons to killing yourself Anxiety is lighting a candle so you can slowly burn the list because Anxiety is telling you if someone finds out, you will die. Anxiety is not stress. Anxiety is having making a friend and losing them in less than a year Anxiety is wondering if all this help is helping or do I need to help myself Anxiety is your friends questioning you non-stop are they really questioning you or do you question yourself? Anxiety is memorizing the suicide prevention hotline Anxiety is beating yourself up countless times “How could you forget something as simple as a Birthday?!” Anxiety is “I only have three friends and one hates me, one I’m trying not to lose, and the other I love too much to tell the truth” Anxiety is “It’s only a matter of time before we all die!” Anxiety is “Congratulations! Two of your friends have died this year alone! One ******* hates you! Oh! HAHA! Wait! They all ******* hate you!” Anxiety can turn you from “Wow. I look kinda good today.” to ”DYSPHORIA! DYSPHORIA! DYSPHORIA!” JUST ******* KIDDING! ANXIETY IS STRESS! AND MUCH MUCH MORE!!!!!!!!
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32
I was thinking of a son. The womb is not a clock nor a bell tolling, but in the eleventh month of its life I feel the November of the body as well as of the calendar. In two days it will be my birthday and as always the earth is done with its harvest. This time I hunt for death, the night I lean toward, the night I want. Well then-- It was in the womb all along. I was thinking of a son ... You! The never acquired, the never seeded or unfastened, you of the genitals I feared, the stalk and the puppy's breath. Will I give you my eyes or his? Will you be the David or the Susan? (Those two names I picked and listened for.) Can you be the man your fathers are-- the leg muscles from Michelangelo, hands from Yugoslavia somewhere the peasant, Slavic and determined, somewhere the survivor bulging with life-- and could it still be possible, all this with Susan's eyes? All this without you-- two days gone in blood. I myself will die without baptism, a third daughter they didn't bother. My death will come on my name day. What's wrong with the name day? It's only an angel of the sun. Woman, weaving a web over your own, a thin and tangled poison. Scorpio, bad spider-- die! My death from the wrists, two name tags, blood worn like a corsage to bloom one on the left and one on the right-- It's a warm room, the place of the blood. Leave the door open on its hinges! Two days for your death and two days until mine. Love! That red disease-- year after year, David, you would make me wild! David! Susan! David! David! full and disheveled, hissing into the night, never growing old, waiting always for you on the porch ... year after year, my carrot, my cabbage, I would have possessed you before all women, calling your name, calling you mine.
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27.1k
************ at Forty
I was thinking of a son. The womb is not a clock nor a bell tolling, but in the eleventh month of its life I feel the November of the body as well as of the calendar. In two days it will be my birthday and as always the earth is done with its harvest. This time I hunt for death, the night I lean toward, the night I want. Well then-- It was in the womb all along. I was thinking of a son ... You! The never acquired, the never seeded or unfastened, you of the genitals I feared, the stalk and the puppy's breath. Will I give you my eyes or his? Will you be the David or the Susan? (Those two names I picked and listened for.) Can you be the man your fathers are-- the leg muscles from Michelangelo, hands from Yugoslavia somewhere the peasant, Slavic and determined, somewhere the survivor bulging with life-- and could it still be possible, all this with Susan's eyes? All this without you-- two days gone in blood. I myself will die without baptism, a third daughter they didn't bother. My death will come on my name day. What's wrong with the name day? It's only an angel of the sun. Woman, weaving a web over your own, a thin and tangled poison. Scorpio, bad spider-- die! My death from the wrists, two name tags, blood worn like a corsage to bloom one on the left and one on the right-- It's a warm room, the place of the blood. Leave the door open on its hinges! Two days for your death and two days until mine. Love! That red disease-- year after year, David, you would make me wild! David! Susan! David! David! full and disheveled, hissing into the night, never growing old, waiting always for you on the porch ... year after year, my carrot, my cabbage, I would have possessed you before all women, calling your name, calling you mine.
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62
have you ever believed in something so blindly so genuinely that the moment you realize it isn't true, something inside you changes forever? i wanna tell you a story, see seldom do i ever go swimming in drinks deep enough to drown in but when i do i speak in tongues about things that none of my memories are allowed to talk about like that christmas at the isthmus where my girlfriend plucked a conch shell whiter than gods teeth out of the sand held it to her ear and stopped time that day she was a shade of blue the could've made the ocean sick see, she loved to play jokes when she held the sea shell to her ear she gasped, called my name and said "i want you to hear this" i said "yeah, right, everybody knows it's just the same old sea" she replied "no. not this one. this one is special. listen. theres music in this one" she handed me the shell like a promise she couldn't keep and i held it to my ear with all the potential of seeing shore after being stranded at sea for years only to hear a tired dirge of silence spill from its emptiness i guess she didn't know how desperately i wanted to hear it too because ever since something inside me snapped now sand pours out of every post card i open i hear seagulls in telephone static sometimes i have dreams where i bury my hands in every beach i've ever been on and exhume this graveyard of noise every time i try to sleep i spit up fishhooks and i guess i'm obsessed but maybe if i hold my ear to enough vacant things then i could have back the time stolen from me since it happened maybe they would get it if they knew what i wanted when i blow out birthday candles maybe they'll find me face down in a wishing well i watch eternal sunshine of the spotless mind every day pretending i can forget too because this sea sickness has followed me for years because yesterday i walked into a music shop and all the pianos broke but the only thing i can think to say is *do you know how bad a memory has to be that you fantasize about forgetting it?*
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Dec 16, 2014
Dec 16, 2014 at 1:03 PM UTC
measure
have you ever believed in something so blindly so genuinely that the moment you realize it isn't true, something inside you changes forever? i wanna tell you a story, see seldom do i ever go swimming in drinks deep enough to drown in but when i do i speak in tongues about things that none of my memories are allowed to talk about like that christmas at the isthmus where my girlfriend plucked a conch shell whiter than gods teeth out of the sand held it to her ear and stopped time that day she was a shade of blue the could've made the ocean sick see, she loved to play jokes when she held the sea shell to her ear she gasped, called my name and said "i want you to hear this" i said "yeah, right, everybody knows it's just the same old sea" she replied "no. not this one. this one is special. listen. theres music in this one" she handed me the shell like a promise she couldn't keep and i held it to my ear with all the potential of seeing shore after being stranded at sea for years only to hear a tired dirge of silence spill from its emptiness i guess she didn't know how desperately i wanted to hear it too because ever since something inside me snapped now sand pours out of every post card i open i hear seagulls in telephone static sometimes i have dreams where i bury my hands in every beach i've ever been on and exhume this graveyard of noise every time i try to sleep i spit up fishhooks and i guess i'm obsessed but maybe if i hold my ear to enough vacant things then i could have back the time stolen from me since it happened maybe they would get it if they knew what i wanted when i blow out birthday candles maybe they'll find me face down in a wishing well i watch eternal sunshine of the spotless mind every day pretending i can forget too because this sea sickness has followed me for years because yesterday i walked into a music shop and all the pianos broke but the only thing i can think to say is *do you know how bad a memory has to be that you fantasize about forgetting it?*
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84
Man Naturally loves delay, And to procrastinate; Business put off from day to day Is always done to late. Let ever hour be in its place Firm fixed, nor loosely shift, And well enjoy the vacant space, As though a birthday gift. And when the hour arrives, be there, Where'er that "there" may be; Uncleanly hands or ruffled hair Let no one ever see. If dinner at "half-past" be placed, At "half-past" then be dressed. If at a "quarter-past" make haste To be down with the rest Better to be before you time, Than e're to be behind; To open the door while strikes the chime, That shows a punctual mind. Moral: Let punctuality and care Seize every flitting hour, So shalt thou cull a floweret fair, E'en from a fading flower
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23.5k
Punctuality
Being transgender is like this: Everyday of your life, you have always wanted a dog. For as long as you can remember-- even if you don't know to what extent-- you have wanted one. You asked your parents, Santa, the easter bunny, even the tooth fairy. Then one day you get a dead cat for your birthday. You say "This isn't a dog," But "You get what you get and don't get upset" So you carry around and care for the dead carcass. All sorts of people look at you, unable to understand what you are doing. So then one day you decide to try to make it look a bit nicer. You wash it a bit, comb what little fur it has left, cover the decrepit limbs. But then you realize the futility in doing this all the time, because you are still carrying around a dead animal. So you continue to carry it around because you have to, no matter how horrible it may be. Although you are carrying around a dead and rotting cat, you aren't a ******* cat owner; You still want a ******* dog.
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Apr 12, 2015
Apr 12, 2015 at 6:53 PM UTC
Being Transgender
I remember they once told me that music is the best time capsule It's where people keep their secrets and feelings; of their insecurities, their mistakes, their sadness, their first cut, and even the wounds and bruises that invisible to the eye It's where people let their wildest dreams alive; of the one they can never reach, the one that will never come back, the one that got away without proper farewell It's where people store their most sacred memories; of their first kisses, their first love, their first dance, their first bucket of roses, their first heartbreak So they were right after all, Music is dangerous, yet addicting; it can either tear you apart or put the pieces back altogether, it depends on what kind of ghosts living inside the interlude Thus, be careful who you listen the music with some melody is louder than the others ** Today I played the music box you gave me on my seventeenth birthday How odd it is to realize that music sometimes can be a time machine, how every strings and clinks bring me back to you—towards you
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Oct 10, 2016
Oct 10, 2016 at 8:56 AM UTC
Time Capsule
Rolling down St. John's Heritage Highway after Sean, my grandson's birthday party I belt out my pioneer song with vigor echoing across the vast beauty, wide open, sacred spaces pristine vistas Norman Rockwell cows grazing in bygone pastures happily moo along Driving past the yellow deer crossing sign Florida woodlands giddyap near the edge of the road long brown antlers prancing to a timeless rhythm I hope and pray that I can somehow kindle a spark of appreciation in my niece and grandsons so that they may behold the baffling greatness and mystery that is our universe These young'uns are mighty attached to the virtual reality, world and landscape of computer technology A sprinkling of cowboy stars flash an omnipresent wink Sunset bonfire explodes across the frontier horizon Turning the corner onto Emerson Drive smoldering scarlet orange embers reflecting lights shoot fireworks, launch rockets through an ever expanding field of vision
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Sep 2, 2018
Sep 2, 2018 at 1:21 PM UTC
O Heritage Highway
Pick yourself up and dust off your shoulders because you're a soldier and have no time to rest. You can't escape this life because you sold your soul for this and in the next year, you'll be buried right under your feet, six feet deep. Will it be your hell? Tied up alone surrounded by nothing but chains for years and years. Calling out to empty shadows and swallowing dust over these times. Will it be your heaven? In the summer of ninety-six with the night lite up with fireworks on the fourth. Chasing the sparks because you're a child again. Pick your feet up and march to the drums of your family. You promised to always protect your family and this is all you know to do. Giving up your life for your brother's is what you were trained to do. Your heart is weak but warm. But you will not be needing it for long. You find peace in the night but always keep a candle lit, to keep an eye on your brother because he is all there is. Things can't be rewritten or reversed. You've just got a confused mind and acted out of grief. But you're always able to rewind to the night a bullet took your brother. These lifeforms made a deal for you, that they knew you'd take. They could care less about your feelings. They could **** without warning, but you trust them with your brother's life on this one. So now you stand a man with a deal to die but it's all worth it because now your brother can live. Selling your life so he can have his back was the best birthday present you could give.
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Aug 13, 2013
Aug 13, 2013 at 10:59 PM UTC
Happy Birthday, Little Brother
Pick yourself up and dust off your shoulders because you're a soldier and have no time to rest. You can't escape this life because you sold your soul for this and in the next year, you'll be buried right under your feet, six feet deep. Will it be your hell? Tied up alone surrounded by nothing but chains for years and years. Calling out to empty shadows and swallowing dust over these times. Will it be your heaven? In the summer of ninety-six with the night lite up with fireworks on the fourth. Chasing the sparks because you're a child again. Pick your feet up and march to the drums of your family. You promised to always protect your family and this is all you know to do. Giving up your life for your brother's is what you were trained to do. Your heart is weak but warm. But you will not be needing it for long. You find peace in the night but always keep a candle lit, to keep an eye on your brother because he is all there is. Things can't be rewritten or reversed. You've just got a confused mind and acted out of grief. But you're always able to rewind to the night a bullet took your brother. These lifeforms made a deal for you, that they knew you'd take. They could care less about your feelings. They could **** without warning, but you trust them with your brother's life on this one. So now you stand a man with a deal to die but it's all worth it because now your brother can live. Selling your life so he can have his back was the best birthday present you could give.
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My mother should be an author She carves her soul into millions of pieces Leaving it behind all of the family photos When I see my mother I see a woman Who wants to hide her soul in a needle Just so the screaming can stop in her mind, These bottles are rattling in the living room You see they have put shackles on her heart, She can't love anymore Without having ***** in her water bottle. Where is she hiding her beer? I feel like my mother is giving me a scavenger hunt From the shards of glass that were left on the baseball fields My mother used to take me to. You know she always wasn't like this She was strong minded and had a big heart Tonight I will tell you the story of a woman Who lost her soul to the Keystones to the Miller Lites To the ****** Mary’s. Let's rewind time See how to **** the soul in ten years 10- I look into my mother's eyes and I start to cry Because I'm looking at a woman who I don't know anymore 9- I refused to bail her out of jail again Because I'm afraid her kidney will fail if she drinks again 8- My mother staggered into the theater and disrupted the whole play, My cast mates turned to me and asked, isn't that your mother? 7- I had to hold my mothers hand Because she was throwing up the cocktail of drugs and alcohol 6- Daddy had to get mom out of jail she was drinking again 5- My mother throws the bottle across the room And told me the reason why she drinks is because I'm Autistic 4- My mother overslept for my piano recital, I didn't think it was a big deal But I remember she spent the whole night crying With a wine glass in her hand. 3- Mommy I didn't know your prescription came in a needle 2- Mommy the prescription say 2 pills a day why are you taking 6? 1- My mother went to the doctor Found out that she has Rheumatoid Arthritis I don't know what that means, But I know she will still be strong right? 0- She took me to a Dodger game for my birthday. I remember Sammy Sosa hitting a home run that game She told me that the only person that can **** your soul is yourself
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Apr 27, 2014
Apr 27, 2014 at 12:16 AM UTC
How To **** The Soul In 10 Years
My mother should be an author She carves her soul into millions of pieces Leaving it behind all of the family photos When I see my mother I see a woman Who wants to hide her soul in a needle Just so the screaming can stop in her mind, These bottles are rattling in the living room You see they have put shackles on her heart, She can't love anymore Without having ***** in her water bottle. Where is she hiding her beer? I feel like my mother is giving me a scavenger hunt From the shards of glass that were left on the baseball fields My mother used to take me to. You know she always wasn't like this She was strong minded and had a big heart Tonight I will tell you the story of a woman Who lost her soul to the Keystones to the Miller Lites To the ****** Mary’s. Let's rewind time See how to **** the soul in ten years 10- I look into my mother's eyes and I start to cry Because I'm looking at a woman who I don't know anymore 9- I refused to bail her out of jail again Because I'm afraid her kidney will fail if she drinks again 8- My mother staggered into the theater and disrupted the whole play, My cast mates turned to me and asked, isn't that your mother? 7- I had to hold my mothers hand Because she was throwing up the cocktail of drugs and alcohol 6- Daddy had to get mom out of jail she was drinking again 5- My mother throws the bottle across the room And told me the reason why she drinks is because I'm Autistic 4- My mother overslept for my piano recital, I didn't think it was a big deal But I remember she spent the whole night crying With a wine glass in her hand. 3- Mommy I didn't know your prescription came in a needle 2- Mommy the prescription say 2 pills a day why are you taking 6? 1- My mother went to the doctor Found out that she has Rheumatoid Arthritis I don't know what that means, But I know she will still be strong right? 0- She took me to a Dodger game for my birthday. I remember Sammy Sosa hitting a home run that game She told me that the only person that can **** your soul is yourself
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47
do you ever wonder about the difference between looking at something and the hallucination created when looking past it? if you look at your hand it's all you can see but if you look past your hand there are now two of them sometimes it's hard for me to remember which is real it gets me thinking about how my father used to wake me up in the morning by rubbing his stubble across my face i spent my 11th birthday under the assumption that he might come back if i drank his aftershave like maybe if i could turn blue if i could be his favorite color on our bathroom floor he would forget why he left the paramedics were all sobing as they pumped memories out of my stomach i coughed up the day the post-it note with your new address on it burned a hole in our refrigerator coughed up the day the divorce papers came and my mother took a baseball bat to the mailbox i've been choking on the splinters for 17 years it's been 17 years since the last dinner plate exploded on our dining room wall 17 years since my mother started accidentally setting your place at the dinner table 17 years since italian night at the restaurant on the corner where the juke box spat tired music and like so many other things it stopped working when you left i guess it's no coincidence since the juke box went quiet that the cds in my car only skip on "i miss you" i've been hemorrhaging memories for so long and now that i'm looking back i can no longer tell the mirage from the truth sometimes i swear you showed up to my graduation and last time i was at your apartment i can't remember if the imprints of my hands are in clay hanging on your wall or if they were left in the mud the day god had the audacity to let it rain or maybe it's like the time i saw someone crying on a bridge now that i think about it i can't remember if it was me
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Jun 20, 2014
Jun 20, 2014 at 12:53 AM UTC
məˈräZH
do you ever wonder about the difference between looking at something and the hallucination created when looking past it? if you look at your hand it's all you can see but if you look past your hand there are now two of them sometimes it's hard for me to remember which is real it gets me thinking about how my father used to wake me up in the morning by rubbing his stubble across my face i spent my 11th birthday under the assumption that he might come back if i drank his aftershave like maybe if i could turn blue if i could be his favorite color on our bathroom floor he would forget why he left the paramedics were all sobing as they pumped memories out of my stomach i coughed up the day the post-it note with your new address on it burned a hole in our refrigerator coughed up the day the divorce papers came and my mother took a baseball bat to the mailbox i've been choking on the splinters for 17 years it's been 17 years since the last dinner plate exploded on our dining room wall 17 years since my mother started accidentally setting your place at the dinner table 17 years since italian night at the restaurant on the corner where the juke box spat tired music and like so many other things it stopped working when you left i guess it's no coincidence since the juke box went quiet that the cds in my car only skip on "i miss you" i've been hemorrhaging memories for so long and now that i'm looking back i can no longer tell the mirage from the truth sometimes i swear you showed up to my graduation and last time i was at your apartment i can't remember if the imprints of my hands are in clay hanging on your wall or if they were left in the mud the day god had the audacity to let it rain or maybe it's like the time i saw someone crying on a bridge now that i think about it i can't remember if it was me
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69
while september cicadas were singing my neighbors to sleep i was up walking holes in my shoes over love once lost so many poems ago that the only thing i remember about the house at 38th & bluestone is that it reeked of alcohol and is as i'm sure of it still saturated in perfume and abandoned laughter but that's not the point give me a minute what i'm trying to say is i always thought god enjoyed watching things leave me it makes me wonder what was on his mind that night in september when i stooped to cough or tie my shoelaces i no longer remember why but i recall their trajectory the way gravity cradled my hands and brought them crashing back to earth like a 747 they landed inches away from a scrap of crumpled loose leaf folded in half like the smiles of my relatives on a holiday truce you see, lately i've been looking for scars in the newspaper i find myself checking the obituary for my former selves since the day i found your suicide letter maybe that's why i can never explain my obsession with history maybe archeology is just a funeral in reverse maybe hell is just rewinding home movies or watching confetti turn back into photographs i never told anyone the reason the doors to the gun cabinet in my family's house are locked not because they are afraid i will take my life but because sometimes i sing them birthday songs on the day you died it makes me think of how rooms only echo when they are empty *you know i never echoed until you died*
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Jun 6, 2014
Jun 6, 2014 at 2:56 AM UTC
seance
In the chair he played, His muscles burned with his pain. It was always constant, The needless burning of his nerves. Fingers curled he played, There was enjoyment in the music. It erased the pain and the sadness , The that the many scars of his nerves gave him. Then he was gone 17 and gone in the last beat of the hearts we cried happy birthday But he wasn't the only one What of the one teacher? You helped him play through the pain, While you yourself suffered, How soon were you torn from us too? Its all to soon. You know their will be a final symphony, they wont let you go without the notes. draped on your shoulders like wings, Angels of the band. You both were pillars of strength, And we all remember and sing and play. For the good don't just die young, They are set free of their suffering. And we love you, Let the symphony play. I will cry for the man i barley knew, For he helped the one I loved.
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Feb 9, 2012
Feb 9, 2012 at 11:20 PM UTC
Goodbye To Those Gone Too Soon
At four, you took my hand and pulled me to your bed,                                                             your small form cuddling, curling, you urgently said, "Tell me… tell me a story! Story, make it long", I began to tell the story, the story of when you were born: Drums and bugles, bubbles and balloons, somersaulting clowns and calliope tunes, you came out to meet them, on the day that you were born, and they were there to greet you, through a January storm. Lions and gorillas marched to military airs, snowmen and snowwomen danced without a spring time care, somewhere in the harbor, a tugboat played a note, and all the while you smiled a smile, upon a birthday float. Just like a circus troupe, we formed a great parade, and sauntered to the birthing bed where your mother lay, she picked you up, she held you, as close as close can be, her hand in mine, she softly said, “Now... we are three.” Copyright © 2003 Gary Brocks
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Aug 27, 2018
Aug 27, 2018 at 9:31 PM UTC
TELL ME ABOUT WHEN I WAS BORN - FOR EMILY: PART 1, AT FOUR YEARS
i. Happy birthday To thee, dearest Friend. Mayest This remembrance of birth Be another year for thou To thinkest of none end's; But a brighter tommorrow. ii. Resteth gal sarah, Put away all of Thine sorrow's, Didst thou not Knoweth; there's A God who breaketh The alshshayatin Who cometh against Thee. iii. Thou art not alone, As me and mine Jane Art alway's there to Be, a friend in need. Growing seed's, to Help-another grow. iv. Mayest the morrow Be for thou, as white As snow; mayest the Seraphim, who surround's Thy worries and protects Thy home, showeth Thee the light above thine tear's. Smile mine friend, a friend is here. Mayest thy sight be clear, and thy crown Be uplifted and flared. As the world's glare Hast betrayed thine eye's. Observeth upward Wherein paradise lies; as thou wilt hath wing's one day O' laureate of poetry's net. O' brilliant friend; of Jane and mine. ©Brandon Nagley ©Lonesome poet's poetry ©Thepoet(Sarah Ahmed) birthday dedication. Sorry Sarah day late on b day dedication... But a happy wonderful birthday from me a friend if you ever need one there as you have always been there for me and Jane and have always been a major blessing to me and Jane!!! May the heavens open to you, and may you overcome your battles you face in this world... HAPPY BIRTHDAY poetic friend !!!!
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Feb 14, 2016
Feb 14, 2016 at 7:32 PM UTC
عيد ميلاد أحد الأصدقاء ( A friend's birthday) arabic tongue - birthday dedication to Thepoet ( Sarah Ahmed)
For he's a jolly good fellow, adorned in yellow and love, it was hard to see his face through the smoke of a three blunt rotation, but I could feel his heart beating from across the trailer. Worn out eighties music was the unofficial theme of the night and I think we lived up to the expectations Eddie Murphy set for his.
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Aug 8, 2014
Aug 8, 2014 at 1:43 AM UTC
Marijuana, Alcohol, Video Games and an Eighteenth Birthday.
I got cakes; On my menu, I say baby; There's nothing sweeter then you... Cake,Cake I like sweet cake She make my heart pound; At some wonderful speed rate..... I'm very energetic; So I love chocolate cake; Eat it for breakfast; Red cherry on top; That's some blossom red lips; I love rich cream, So baby Bring me a whip.... You the number one on my menu.... Cake;Cake; Chocolate Cake Olivia Brown Vanilla Cake; My spectacular lunch break; With a nice cinnemon flake Pound of cake; She a dream cake Cool me downn, with some strawberry milkshake; She's second on my menu; Cake;Cake; Vanilla Cake Supper time; more like super time; Everyday my birthday; End it off with some cream cake; I love cake; look like dream cake; Whip my cream, with semi-sweet wine; Cool me down with ice cream Cake;Cake; Cream Cake....
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Feb 29, 2016
Feb 29, 2016 at 3:10 AM UTC
Pound Cake (SlimKwAgGa Poetic Version)