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Sep 2021 · 180
i miss you
soliana Sep 2021
i miss writing so much
pouring my thoughts
loving writing
i've lost you and
now i found you
Feb 2021 · 709
s.t. 1
soliana Feb 2021
every day i always find a reason to live
but it seems like
every day i was given a reason to end it
Jan 2021 · 333
fuck me so hard
soliana Jan 2021
that i forget you

**** me so hard
that i never look back on you

**** me so hard
that tomorrow
i’ll forget myself too
and if this night ends, may we forget how we behaved
Jan 2021 · 340
language to language
soliana Jan 2021
and when you think about love
you need not worry
to speak your language
for that someone could simply
understand you
no translations needed
Jan 2021 · 334
im naked in front of you
soliana Jan 2021
you see my *******
but what i want you to see
is what lies beyond the
skin and ribcage
i want you to see
my heart
and how it yearns for
the admiration of who i am
and not what you see

your fingers pull my hair
but you never seem to reach out
to the mind thats endlessly
aching for you to remember

that i am not an object
made for pleasure

i am human with a mind and soul.

but you’ll see my *******,
you’ll remember the scent of my hair
you’ll touch me in places
that will only give you
a moment of satisfaction
and never a lifetime of contentment

you will finger me and have me wrapped around you
you will admire me endlessly,
whispering sweet nothings
like you're used to saying them

but will you see me the same way
when the morning touches the sheets?
will you kiss me good morning
and tell my eyes the beauty they behold?

this, i think
as i yearn for your warmth
that has become non-existent
when you left me alone in bed.

the bed that was once our heaven has become my hell.
how *** could be addictive when its an afterthought
Dec 2020 · 91
if the voice in my head
soliana Dec 2020
is my conscience
who’s listening?
Dec 2020 · 133
the concept of this
soliana Dec 2020
it was said that we are more closer to 2050 than we are to 1990. It has the same gap of 30 years and yet both have a different feel towards each other. the past seems so far off because it had lacked what the future only had: hope.

yesterday seemed forgotten but tomorrow was an endless thought. what was done before could never be changed. the things we are about to do hereafter could still be.

now where was the concept of now? it is not forgotten nor is it a thought. it is just “now”. no thoughts no lingering feeling. it is now. and perhaps that is why we dont think about what happens. we think about now.

and that is what we should focus on.

11:42 PM 12/28/20
Dec 2020 · 126
the mind is a restless soul
soliana Dec 2020
the mind is a restless soul. it speaks and it listens.

but it will never feel. that is why it is restless.

the mind cannot know contentment. it cannot know satisfaction. it could only resent but it could never forgive.

the mind is a restless soul. it speaks and it listens.

but the mind could never tell what the heart only knows.
its been two years since ive written anything - 11:41 PM 12/28/20
Jan 2020 · 72
soliana Jan 2020
are you afraid of commitment?
are you just afraid
of wasting your time?
re-read,  re-contemplated
soliana Jan 2020
do they make you swoon?
do you sigh at the sight of them?
do you think of them often?
are they a part of your prayers?
do you like their smile?
would you want to see their smile?
do you stare at their eyes?
is your worth not being judged?
does it make you think of other people to replace?
do they make you smile?
do they reciprocate what you feel?
are they open-minded?
do they make you love love?
do they make you feel different?

and lastly,
they dont make you question about love.
Jan 2020 · 71
He told me he loved me
soliana Jan 2020
He always told me he "loved" me.

But we were wrapped in white sheets and his hands were all over me

His lips lingered trails on my neck as his eyes were turning a shade darker

He always told me he "loved" me

When we were both intoxicated and that he was in desperation for touch

But the worst part wasn't the one sided pleasure
The worst part was that i believed.
why do you have to do  this to me?
Jan 2019 · 636
With me
soliana Jan 2019
As easy as it sounds
Yet the hardest pill to swallow
I guess some people
Just dont want to be with me
The same way i want to be with them
soliana Dec 2018
lips locking
bed and skin clashing
you make me hard
but i wish for another name

skin to skin
your hands are all over me
we get so ******
you turn me on
but she made me happy

your touch makes my skin tingle
i long for anticipation
i have you right now
but you're not what's on my mind
instead i imagine her
and everything just seems to
fall in place

and i never knew
it was exactly
just another mistake.

5:19 PM 12/17/18
be my mistake - the 1975
Dec 2018 · 339
to remember you
soliana Dec 2018
to remember you
with the good memories
you gave

and not the traits
that made me leave
or the stabbing pain
in my chest

to remember you
in a way
that you were perfect
even if you weren't.

5:15 PM 12/17/2018
cherry wine - hozier
Nov 2018 · 977
when you leave
soliana Nov 2018
when you leave,
leave me
with nothing
take the love i gave
take the happiness i shared
take my broken heart
take the memories you shared with me
take the hurting feeling
take everything that you once gave
because when you leave,
there's no turning back.
Oct 2018 · 1.6k
the universe was in you
soliana Oct 2018
it was in his eyes
that i knew
that love wasn't a feeling
but it was a choice
because i would rather
look at his eyes
and think that i have finally found
my universe.
soliana Oct 2018
and it has been way too long
soliana Jul 2018
you liked calligraphy
so much
that you decided
to use your lips
as your pen
and wrote on me
through my heart
the words i have longed
to come from you
and my simple reply
was a kiss to your lips
"i love you too."
4:46 PM 5/6/2018
Jun 2018 · 522
love is the sun
soliana Jun 2018
love is like the sun
you adored it when it came
felt it on you while it stayed
and knew its value
only when it left.
Jun 2018 · 388
i wish youre happy
soliana Jun 2018
my aching heart
that may the bruises
and all the cuts
be worthy
just to see you
with someone else
to build you better
for someone else
and not me.
3:15 AM 6/15/18 // youre worth everything
May 2018 · 564
she's my universe
soliana May 2018
as she adored what the universe held for her,
i adored what mine had.
May 2018 · 324
soliana May 2018
because even when you left
i kept searching for you
tried finding solace
in another's pair of lips
but nothing was ever the same
and i knew that
heaven wasnt a place on earth
but it was a home
that i shouldn't have
mistaken for a house
with you.
May 2018 · 281
your words lied for you
soliana May 2018
and then
the way
you told me
you loved me
how much you dont.
May 2018 · 475
what i am
soliana May 2018
i am as broken as you think i am not.
May 2018 · 58.6k
she gave me her nudes
soliana May 2018
she gave me her nudes
she was bare
and naked
and so out
and open
and i willingly
accepted it
because it wasnt the nudes
that showed her body
the physical aspects
that made her beautiful
it was the words
she didnt choose
and the spontaneity
that left her
either from her lips
or her fingers
or ink

she was as bare
as her nudes
and i accepted
her for her.
10:02 PM 5/1/2018
Apr 2018 · 279
the sunset
soliana Apr 2018
youre as beautiful
as the sunset
because every time you leave
it makes me want for more
of you
Apr 2018 · 319
how do you say i love you
soliana Apr 2018
there was always a way to tell you i love you
yet it didnt have to be said
nor to be felt
it was the unseen moments
the spontaneity of it all

i was always told that
the eyes never lie
so i hope that every time
you catch me staring at you
you'll finally realize
that i have always loved you
and always will.
4/24/18 8:52 PM
Apr 2018 · 275
let me go
soliana Apr 2018
im slightly tripping
slowly breaking
losing my grip
to your rope

so i decided to end the pain
and break loose
as i jump
6:31 PM 4/23/18
Apr 2018 · 166
its not you
soliana Apr 2018
if words
had a human version
it wouldn't be you
because every time
i look at you
i'm at loss for words.
soliana Apr 2018
i'm sorry
if i have ever
caused you pain
pain in different circumstances
that i've always denied
im sorry if i was always a problem
and if i wasnt there when you needed me
im sorry if i never listened
and im sorry if i was as stupid
as you always told me
and im sorry
for being so selfish
for forgetting
that you also feel
that you had your own way of telling
that you hurt too
im sorry
if my sorry isnt enough
but to tell you honestly
its all i have right now
and im just really
if i was always never enough.
4/22/18 10:59 PM
Apr 2018 · 361
what happens at night
soliana Apr 2018
she was
as healthy as a baby
when she woke up
she was as optimistic
as a child
as she walked the paths
that could be the
next thing to death
but every time
she slept
she was as sickly
as an old woman suffering
from a disease
for she sniffed,
her eyes puffy
wishing that she never woke up once more
and it was always the cycle
she wasn't the problem
the people were
but she always thought
she was the problem
so one night
she didnt want to be sick anymore
and it was one moment
that time had to close his eyes
for a sad girl living in a sad world
and a knife
wasnt always a good combination.
4/22/18 10:50 PM im tired
Apr 2018 · 4.8k
balik na
soliana Apr 2018
ngano hilakan nimo ang wala?

kay naa paman koy paglaom na mobalik ang nawala.
elmo- 10:02 PM 4/18/18
Apr 2018 · 268
the thing about problems
soliana Apr 2018
you have hurt
this little fragile heart
of mine for a
thousand times
and it was always a problem for me
but if the time comes
that the thing about problems come
dont come running back to me
screaming to have me back

because the thing about problems
is that
it's not always about you
9:55 PM 4/18/18
Apr 2018 · 272
my love
soliana Apr 2018
i miss you
and i want you back
but one thought is what i lack
youre dead and found 6 feet below
my elmo
Apr 2018 · 261
my bravo
soliana Apr 2018
and then one day
we left our classroom
and never returned.
only a quote, i didnt make it
Apr 2018 · 326
the monster that killed me
soliana Apr 2018
I was taught that the scariest things were hidden in monsters with sharp teeth and colossal claws. These monsters are the ones that tend to **** you or slit your throat when you least expect. They were the type of monsters that lurk in the dark and keeps you up at night. But I was never taught that the scariest things hide in perfect white teeth and grand aura of charm, it was unknown that this monster had flesh and blood running in his veins. This monster was what my mother always told me to stay away from and yet I never listened. I was always told that monsters **** but what they never told me was that the monster would tell me he loves me and hides a different intention in his heart.

- that is if he has a heart
Apr 2018 · 226
break up
soliana Apr 2018
We were breaking up

No it wasn’t the giving of
Each other's things back
Neither was it the screaming
Of profanities and simply
Releasing tension
It wasn’t the closure
No it didn’t mean the title
The title of letting go
We didnt have to name it
We were simply breaking up
We were breaking each other
Even though we were still together
2/16/18 6:45 AM
Apr 2018 · 347
how different you are
soliana Apr 2018
you weren't the beat of my heart
nor were you the heart
you were the momentary pause
that my heart makes for the next beat
you weren't the calm stroke of the river
nor were you the river
you were the ripples it made
when the wind breezes momentarily
that's how caught up you were with the moment
how different you were
because you always forgot
how easy an event has happened
is the same ease that it is forgotten.
4/14/18 11:12 PM
Apr 2018 · 150
soliana Apr 2018
Pay close attention to everything
Because even though it seems unimportant,
Later on, it will.
Apr 2018 · 149
soliana Apr 2018
I could have given you the universe
but you only wanted a star.
Apr 2018 · 406
see me die
soliana Apr 2018
see me die tomorrow
i'm nowhere near breathing
when i'm next to you
you make my heart
beat faster than it has always been
giving me earthquakes
in my mind and
just like any other fissure
you've broken me
and left me open
shattered, cracked
see me dead tomorrow
i'm nowhere near
seeing you with her anymore.
4/11/18 11:35 PM
Apr 2018 · 576
i am your home
soliana Apr 2018
and then, all at once,
all the sappy love songs
finally made sense
because, then
i wanted to see you
come back
to come running home
to come back
running to me.
2:42 PM 4/9/18
Apr 2018 · 319
Little Miss Happy Bubble
soliana Apr 2018
Nobody wonders when little miss happy bubble didn't talk anymore
She was always the talkative, outspoken girl
And now she's aloof, silent
Little miss happy bubble
Had burst her bubble
So she barely talks
Answers when questioned
Never complains, smiles when needed
And what was ironic
Was that all this
Was a scream;
A cry for help
For somebody to listen
For somebody to save her
From her insanity
But nobody seems to hear
that little miss happy bubble
Finally popped
The words
"I want to die."
4/7/18 9:40 AM
soliana Apr 2018
you said
that leaving was for the weakest souls
those who cannot be like Atlas
carrying the weight of the world
on their shoulders
you said leaving was
something you dont want to do
somehting you shouldnt do
something you couldnt do
that leaving was a bad thing
and some people dont deserve it
you made leaving sound so bad
that when you did it to me
you have proven its rightful meaning
but what gave me
the ache of my heart was that  
you said you couldnt but you still did.
soliana Apr 2018
do not ever degrade yourself
to the extent that you think you are
because you are not
you are
and valued.
you are not
just anyone
remember that.
10:48 PM 10/12/2017
soliana Apr 2018
the best people are contained
in a perfect mix of anxiety,
broken and missing pieces,
and the chain of thoughts of being unworthy
12:33 AM 10/16/2017
soliana Apr 2018
so now
as another year brings me to
brand new oppotunities
please just please
if im happy
leave me be
keep me away from our toxicity
you are my 2017
from the words my heart has spilled
from the letters youll never read
you filled a year
have me wrapped in your little finger
and i guess that should be enough
for someone like you
so please
give me another chance to start anew
to be with someone
thats not you.
4:53 AM 12/24/2017
soliana Apr 2018
i sometimes question my worth
am i worth the smile?
the time,
anything at all?
because all im asking is little.
im not asking for everything
just a little bit.
but it feels like im not worthy
of the hope,
want or simply
the word
it makes me feel hopeless
that im nothing but a waste of space.
i dont want to  be here anymore.
im done with people leaving
im done with being left
im tired of being alone
im tired of feeling lonely
im tired of being me
i dont want to get attached
i dont want to care anymore
because all that caring was giving
to me
was disappointment,
and above all
im tired of that
i want to be happy because i want to
but theres this omen
thats stopping me
please leave me
but maybe im the one
whos grasping for you
and youre just always there
no matter how much i
push you away
i want to go home
i want to leave
its my turn,
2:35 PM 3/27/18
Mar 2018 · 195
soliana Mar 2018
please stay
stay with me
even though it hurts
don't go
Mar 2018 · 153
a thousand me
soliana Mar 2018
if you were to meet
a thousand me
how will you know
that it was the same person
you spoke before?
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