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30.3k · May 2018
she gave me her nudes
soliana May 2018
she gave me her nudes
she was bare
and *****
and so out
and open
and i willingly
accepted it
because it wasnt the nudes
that showed her body
the physical aspects
that made her beautiful
it was the words
she didnt choose
and the spontaneity
that left her
either from her lips
or her fingers
or ink

she was as bare
as her nudes
and i accepted
her for her.
10:02 PM 5/1/2018
1.3k · Oct 2018
the universe was in you
soliana Oct 2018
it was in his eyes
that i knew
that love wasn't a feeling
but it was a choice
because i would rather
look at his eyes
and think that i have finally found
my universe.
766 · Nov 2018
when you leave
soliana Nov 2018
when you leave,
leave me
with nothing
take the love i gave
take the happiness i shared
take my broken heart
take the memories you shared with me
take the hurting feeling
take everything that you once gave
because when you leave,
there's no turning back.
466 · Apr 2018
i am your home
soliana Apr 2018
and then, all at once,
all the sappy love songs
finally made sense
because, then
i wanted to see you
come back
to come running home
to come back
running to me.
2:42 PM 4/9/18
427 · May 2018
she's my universe
soliana May 2018
as she adored what the universe held for her,
i adored what mine had.
5/27/18
406 · Jan 19
With me
soliana Jan 19
As easy as it sounds
Yet the hardest pill to swallow
I guess some people
Just dont want to be with me
The same way i want to be with them
391 · Jun 2018
love is the sun
soliana Jun 2018
love is like the sun
you adored it when it came
felt it on you while it stayed
and knew its value
only when it left.
5/29/18
soliana Jul 2018
you liked calligraphy
so much
that you decided
to use your lips
as your pen
and wrote on me
through my heart
the words i have longed
to come from you
and my simple reply
was a kiss to your lips
saying
"i love you too."
4:46 PM 5/6/2018
378 · Apr 2018
balik na
soliana Apr 2018
ngano hilakan nimo ang wala?

kay naa paman koy paglaom na mobalik ang nawala.
elmo- 10:02 PM 4/18/18
372 · Mar 2018
maybe
soliana Mar 2018
Maybe I wasn't worth the wait
Maybe I wasn't worth the time and space
Maybe I wasn't worth anything at all
Because when I told you to stay with me
You simply said you couldn't
I smiled and for one last time
and maybe I wasn't going to see it again
the sincerity in your eyes
As you turned your back
and closed the door
with the same hands that
held
my broken heart.
11:47 PM 11/8/17
- you said sorry and knew it was yours to begin with.
353 · May 2018
what i am
soliana May 2018
i am as broken as you think i am not.
292 · Jun 2018
i wish youre happy
soliana Jun 2018
my aching heart
wishes
that may the bruises
and all the cuts
be worthy
just to see you
happy
with someone else
to build you better
for someone else
and not me.
3:15 AM 6/15/18 // youre worth everything
soliana Apr 2018
i sometimes question my worth
am i worth the smile?
the time,
attention,
space,
anything at all?
because all im asking is little.
im not asking for everything
just a little bit.
but it feels like im not worthy
of the hope,
want or simply
the word
together.
it makes me feel hopeless
that im nothing but a waste of space.
i dont want to  be here anymore.
im done with people leaving
im done with being left
im tired of being alone
im tired of feeling lonely
im tired of being me
i dont want to get attached
i dont want to care anymore
because all that caring was giving
to me
was disappointment,
discontentment
and above all
pain.
im tired of that
i want to be happy because i want to
but theres this omen
thats stopping me
please leave me
but maybe im the one
whos grasping for you
and youre just always there
no matter how much i
push you away
i want to go home
i want to leave
its my turn,
now.
2:35 PM 3/27/18
273 · Apr 2018
see me die
soliana Apr 2018
see me die tomorrow
because
i'm nowhere near breathing
when i'm next to you
you make my heart
beat faster than it has always been
giving me earthquakes
in my mind and
just like any other fissure
you've broken me
and left me open
shattered, cracked
so
see me dead tomorrow
because
i'm nowhere near
seeing you with her anymore.
4/11/18 11:35 PM
245 · Apr 2018
what happens at night
soliana Apr 2018
she was
as healthy as a baby
when she woke up
she was as optimistic
as a child
as she walked the paths
that could be the
next thing to death
but every time
she slept
she was as sickly
as an old woman suffering
from a disease
for she sniffed,
her eyes puffy
wishing that she never woke up once more
and it was always the cycle
she wasn't the problem
the people were
but she always thought
she was the problem
so one night
she didnt want to be sick anymore
and it was one moment
that time had to close his eyes
for a sad girl living in a sad world
and a knife
wasnt always a good combination.
4/22/18 10:50 PM im tired
238 · Apr 2018
how different you are
soliana Apr 2018
you weren't the beat of my heart
nor were you the heart
you were the momentary pause
that my heart makes for the next beat
you weren't the calm ****** of the river
nor were you the river
you were the ripples it made
when the wind breezes momentarily
that's how caught up you were with the moment
how different you were
because you always forgot
that
how easy an event has happened
is the same ease that it is forgotten.
4/14/18 11:12 PM
231 · Mar 2018
3 minutes and its still you
soliana Mar 2018
I wanted to scream
till my lungs needed air
till my throat ached
till my tears blurred my vision
just to see
if the sound was louder
i'll see you
come back to me.
11:50 PM 11/8/17
214 · Apr 2018
the monster that killed me
soliana Apr 2018
I was taught that the scariest things were hidden in monsters with sharp teeth and colossal claws. These monsters are the ones that tend to **** you or slit your throat when you least expect. They were the type of monsters that lurk in the dark and keeps you up at night. But I was never taught that the scariest things hide in perfect white teeth and grand aura of charm, it was unknown that this monster had flesh and blood running in his veins. This monster was what my mother always told me to stay away from and yet I never listened. I was always told that monsters **** but what they never told me was that the monster would tell me he loves me and hides a different intention in his heart.

- that is if he has a heart
212 · Apr 2018
Little Miss Happy Bubble
soliana Apr 2018
Nobody wonders when little miss happy bubble didn't talk anymore
She was always the talkative, outspoken girl
And now she's aloof, silent
Little miss happy bubble
Had burst her bubble
So she barely talks
Answers when questioned
Never complains, smiles when needed
And what was ironic
Was that all this
Was a scream;
A cry for help
For somebody to listen
For somebody to save her
From her insanity
But nobody seems to hear
that little miss happy bubble
Finally popped
The words
"I want to die."
4/7/18 9:40 AM
206 · May 2018
hEavEn
soliana May 2018
because even when you left
i kept searching for you
tried finding solace
in another's pair of lips
but nothing was ever the same
and i knew that
heaven wasnt a place on earth
but it was a home
that i shouldn't have
mistaken for a house
with you.
5/27/18
192 · Apr 2018
how do you say i love you
soliana Apr 2018
there was always a way to tell you i love you
yet it didnt have to be said
nor to be felt
it was the unseen moments
the spontaneity of it all

i was always told that
the eyes never lie
so i hope that every time
you catch me staring at you
you'll finally realize
that i have always loved you
and always will.
4/24/18 8:52 PM
183 · Mar 2018
what you have
soliana Mar 2018
in most pixar movies
or probably in the reality there is
we dont get what we want
we get what we deserve
and even though
we get what we want
its the will
to find what we deserve

and im ever so lucky to find it with you.
7:33 PM
3/12/18
soliana Dec 2018
lips locking
bed and skin clashing
you make me hard
but i wish for another name

skin to skin
your hands are all over me
we get so ******
you turn me on
but she made me happy

your touch makes my skin tingle
i long for anticipation
i have you right now
but you're not what's on my mind
instead i imagine her
and everything just seems to
fall in place

and i never knew
it was exactly
just another mistake.

5:19 PM 12/17/18
be my mistake - the 1975
180 · May 2018
your words lied for you
soliana May 2018
and then
the way
you told me
you loved me
showed
how much you dont.
177 · Mar 2018
the thoughts of a man
soliana Mar 2018
"cookies and cream is my favorite."

she said as she closed her eyes
and felt the bliss of the coldness
the ice cream swirled on her tongue

he looked at her with a serious face
just thinking what it would be like
if she never came in his life

she opened her eyes
and caught him staring
and so he smiled
and thought of how beautiful
she was with the smile she had
how she had light up the entire universe
that not a star as bright could replace
what she possessed

and so she asked, "what are you staring at?"
and he replied,"nothing"

and he held her hand
and thought how he had his entire world
his entire heart
and all that he can offer
in the palm of her hands

and at that moment
even as she rolled her eyes
he thought
"i am truly in love with all of you."

and all she ever did
was smile.
9:10 PM 2/10/2018
soliana Apr 2018
do not ever degrade yourself
to the extent that you think you are
unworthy
unloved
replaceable
because you are not
you are
important
beautiful
and valued.
you are not
just anyone
remember that.
10:48 PM 10/12/2017
168 · Feb 2018
hobbies
soliana Feb 2018
we were good at something

we were good at breaking each other
we had the same hobby
of ripping
tearing
getting
each others pieces
bit by bit
every part
we killed each other
through words
or austere and conspicuous
acts of ignoring
and that kept us together
because even if we kept ourselves  
broken and unfixed
we gladly took the misconception
of staying together
and call it
love.
- its the only consistent thing left for us
12:23 AM 10/16/2017
soliana Apr 2018
i'm sorry
if i have ever
caused you pain
pain in different circumstances
that i've always denied
im sorry if i was always a problem
and if i wasnt there when you needed me
im sorry if i never listened
and im sorry if i was as ******
as you always told me
and im sorry
for being so selfish
for forgetting
that you also feel
that you had your own way of telling
that you hurt too
im sorry
if my sorry isnt enough
but to tell you honestly
its all i have right now
and im just really
sorry
if i was always never enough.
4/22/18 10:59 PM
162 · Apr 2018
the sunset
soliana Apr 2018
youre as beautiful
as the sunset
because every time you leave
it makes me want for more
of you
155 · Apr 2018
let me go
soliana Apr 2018
im slightly tripping
slowly breaking
losing my grip
to your rope

so i decided to end the pain
and break loose
as i jump
6:31 PM 4/23/18
154 · Dec 2018
to remember you
soliana Dec 2018
to remember you
with the good memories
you gave

and not the traits
that made me leave
or the stabbing pain
in my chest

to remember you
in a way
that you were perfect
even if you weren't.

5:15 PM 12/17/2018
cherry wine - hozier
soliana Apr 2018
you said
that leaving was for the weakest souls
those who cannot be like Atlas
carrying the weight of the world
on their shoulders
you said leaving was
something you dont want to do
somehting you shouldnt do
something you couldnt do
that leaving was a bad thing
and some people dont deserve it
you made leaving sound so bad
that when you did it to me
you have proven its rightful meaning
but what gave me
the ache of my heart was that  
you said you couldnt but you still did.
149 · Apr 2018
the thing about problems
soliana Apr 2018
you have hurt
this little fragile heart
of mine for a
thousand times
and it was always a problem for me
but if the time comes
that the thing about problems come
dont come running back to me
screaming to have me back

because the thing about problems
is that
it's not always about you
9:55 PM 4/18/18
soliana Apr 2018
so now
as another year brings me to
brand new oppotunities
please just please
if im happy
leave me be
keep me away from our toxicity
you are my 2017
from the words my heart has spilled
from the letters youll never read
you filled a year
have me wrapped in your little finger
and i guess that should be enough
for someone like you
so please
give me another chance to start anew
to be with someone
thats not you.
4:53 AM 12/24/2017
soliana Oct 2018
and it has been way too long
133 · Apr 2018
my bravo
soliana Apr 2018
and then one day
we left our classroom
and never returned.
only a quote, i didnt make it
130 · Mar 2018
do it for me
soliana Mar 2018
if youre not happy with me
please leave me
please tell me
that you dont love me
anymore
please just please
end whatever youre trying
to pretend
the endless gaze
of telling me that
you still want me
or to make me feel that you still
see me as the stars
of your galaxies
stop whatever youre starting
stop whatever youve started
if youre not happy with me
please leave me
and let me be happy
without you.
9:14 PM 2/11/2018
125 · Apr 2018
my love
soliana Apr 2018
i miss you
and i want you back
but one thought is what i lack
youre dead and found 6 feet below
my elmo
soliana Apr 2018
the best people are contained
in a perfect mix of anxiety,
broken and missing pieces,
and the chain of thoughts of being unworthy
unloved
and
insiginificant.
12:33 AM 10/16/2017
112 · Mar 2018
my soulmate
soliana Mar 2018
when i met you
i thought about
you and how you
have become my
soulmate.

but every night
as the hypnotic feeling
kicks in
i thought about the time
i met you
and remembered i said,
"i'm going to fall in love
with you."

yet, i never thought
that i was going to
meet my soulmate
or love my soulmate
and my soulmate
was pain.
5:35 PM 1/30/18
111 · Mar 2018
the world
soliana Mar 2018
i think you deserve
the world
but
you make it feel
like you dont.
8:16 PM 3/18/18
107 · Mar 2018
my love
soliana Mar 2018
i miss you
when are you going to come back ?
6:19 PM 3/19/18
105 · Feb 2018
come back to me
soliana Feb 2018
"come back to me", she said

all night she screamed
thinking that if the sound
was louder
the suffocating feeling will be gone.

"come back to me", she whispered
as her vision blurred once more
thinking of that one person she lost
no, it wasnt the boy who held
her broken heart
nor the father that was buried 6 feet below

"come back to me", she hummed with
drooping eyes of pills

wondering when she started crumbling
and losing herself for someone
who didnt even matter.
5:33 PM 1/6/2018
100 · Mar 2018
stay
soliana Mar 2018
please stay
stay with me
even though it hurts
don't go
100 · Apr 2018
break up
soliana Apr 2018
We were breaking up

No it wasn’t the giving of
Each other's things back
Neither was it the screaming
Of profanities and simply
Releasing tension
It wasn’t the closure
No it didn’t mean the title
The title of letting go
We didnt have to name it
We were simply breaking up
We were breaking each other
Even though we were still together
2/16/18 6:45 AM
soliana Mar 2018
i took the effort
to bring something just
for you
i risked my mom's scoldings
thinking you would be happy
with this little gift i had
for you
but what gave me the pain
was that
you were long gone
nd you're not anymore
at home.
that i wasn't coming back
to anything
and that all this time
i'm still thinking
i'll see you when i come home.
so i thought you were still here
but then, you were buried feet below.
11:13 PM 3/20/2018
93 · Feb 2018
loving is giving
soliana Feb 2018
I was taught
Even as a little girl
That giving is what we called "loving"
So I grew up
Loving and loving
And even though there was
Nothing left of me
For me  
Even though
All I could give
Was shattered pieces of me
A crumbling heart
A black and stormy soul
I gave
And still called it love
Never mind if it was toxic
Never mind if it was the brokenness
I was taught
Even as a little girl
That giving is what we called "loving"
So I grew up
Losing myself
-8/7/17 11:18 PM
82 · Feb 2018
suicide's aesthetic
soliana Feb 2018
Suicidal thoughts are poetic
The slitting of wrists
Ropes tied around your neck
The need to put that one foot forward
Into the pit that ends everything;
Hopes, dreams, wishes and nightmares combined

Suicidal thoughts are poetic
The feeling of drowning
A knife pierced to your heart
The want to simply put that one foot forward
To the center of the road that starts everything;
Sorrow, regret and sympathy combined

Suicidal thoughts are poetic
The endless hallucinations and insomnia
Thinking of what would happen if you died
The uncontrollable yearning to simply put that one foot forward;
To the darkness of closed eyes that makes everything;
Problems, unanswered questions and contentment combined

Suicidal thoughts are so poetic
That it comes to a point
That all of it
Suddenly and inconspicuously
Becomes true
-suicidal thoughts are not poetic; it screams danger.
2/19/18 (9:37 PM)
80 · Mar 2018
whats it like to be happy
soliana Mar 2018
i wasnt happy
because i wanted to
i was happy
because i had to
and i didnt want that
and thats what
made me insane.
- how depression creeps in
9:45 PM 3/11/2018
79 · Mar 2018
a thousand me
soliana Mar 2018
if you were to meet
a thousand me
how will you know
that it was the same person
you spoke before?
me
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