My ego craves attention
there's no smoke without fire
so give me your affection
of it I will never tire
tell me I am handsome
tell me I am kind
let's just have some fun
whilst you play with my mind
call me intelligent
say I am gorgeous
my ego is evident
my ego is porous
soaking up your compliments
letting it expand
keep stroking my ego
keep feeding it so
it's not really me though
just so you know.

I will rock your world
take you to unseen places
make you feel like a little girl
I will be your oasis
come let me quench your thirst
and satisfy your hunger
it will feel like your first
I will make you feel younger
hurry though because I'm in demand
there's a queue outside my door
so lets not pretend
you won't be wanting more
I will be your addiction
your selfsame drug of choice
about me you will write fan fiction
whilst I leave you moist
you will want me in your bed
you will want me to come knocking
but remember everything I've said
its just my ego talking.

Maybe I needed words to confirm
whisper them when it's your turn
mouth me from across the room
E-L-E-P-H-A-N-T J-U-I-C-E
is the same as I love you
deceive me with mammals
as I play piano
pouring my heart upon the keys
do with me as you please
"I'm yours, I'm yours"
rings out the chorus
the deafening silence
of love unrequited.

A boomerang that doesn't come back
a runaway train on broken tracks
maybe I should have held onto words
not listened to the singing birds
that told me you felt the same
how could I believe your heart was tamed
for I am no ringmaster
a gazelle that's wandered into foreign pastures
I was your prey
yet I was bold
for the words I say
are seldom told
with such earnest longing
so behold
I L-O-V-E Y-O-U

Death does not exist as some distant relative
but rather it remains relevant
as a constant reminder
that without death she cannot live
you will never find her
for herself, to death, she did give
do not call out her name
or try to hold on
she left her body through the pain
she's already gone
now she exists as life itself
not as a concept within her mind
or as a body trapped in time
but as the flow of silence
between echoes of distractions
as one slowly slips through tiredness
towards the light refractions
that's where she'll be
as she waits for me
in eternity.

To dream is all I ask....
to escape is all I need....
to bask in the golden glow whilst time fades silently into the past
oh yonder morn please wait for me
for I exist between this world and next
neither here nor there but in the fractures of space between
a silent stone cast upon a sea of dreams
the ripples awake me now and I am no more.

A fallen angel with outstretched wings
a thousands voices begin to sing
this is the sound of our undying hymn.
Flowers ripped from the stem
babies torn from mothers hem
a restless desire to escape the myre
a lifeless face in this heartless place
devoid of love or god above
the sense of danger at every turn
the fear of life as chances spurn
questions unanswered no time to learn.

A world without truth
beset upon uncouth
lies surround us remain confounded
freedom to leave but always grounded
left astounded
dumbfounded
beached and floundered.

A compass without direction
a heart with no affection
filled with your infection
tasting the infliction
my mirrorless reflection
hate and rejection
no shot at redemption
or chance of exemption
no dream or conception
no allegiance or faction
lifeless action
no anger or reaction
no thought or distraction
no love or satisfaction
a heart unguarded no protection.

Life left unchallenged
decisions in the balance
which path to choose
either way set to lose
the crossroads of life
no wish to survive.

Your fatal illusion fills me with such confusion
Is it more we share or just a passing distraction?
Do you really care or an automated reaction?
Could this be a one-sided affair and this is infatuation?

When this is all over will you still think of me as I of you?
Will you still share a drink with me or is it really through?
Maybe I missed my chance or never really had one
maybe I risked my heart for just a bit of fun.

I may not always be an open book
but please take the time to have a second look
for the last few pages were written about you
and all my words are true.

It's fear that holds us prisoner
each night and every day
it's fear that roots us to the spot
or makes us run away
it's fear that binds our tongue
when words we want to say
it's fear that clouds our minds
that keeps mankind at bay.

There's nothing to fear but fear itself
how I wish there was something else
to justify the hurt inside
to explain the pain that abides
the very thoughts that repeat and grind
constantly upon my mind
like clouds of acid rain
that slowly drive a man insane
oh death your bitter taste i feign.

I wonder how some people's brains work
why their bodies twist and twerk
is it all just attention seeking
and what the hell is fleeking?
now I'm not one to sit and judge
because I never passed the bar
without stopping to get drunk
not quite down in one
more like two below par
this is when you begin people watching
a popular pub past time
I saw a guy who was pork scratching
which certainly put me off mine
a barmaid stood there ready to serve
who just wanted some peace and quiet
but the men they formed a queue to perve
she almost caused a riot
now I guess I am just another fool
that's drinking after hours
barely balancing upon a stool
trying to maintain his mental powers
from the far corner, a drunk begins to sing
before collapsing on the floor
just as the last order bell rings
maybe I'll have another
I only drank two or was it four?

I existed within shadows
that lined my temple halls
surrounded by meadows
divided by walls
in darkness was I
for though there were windows
I could not see the sky
as only my sin glowed
that lit my path
yet I kept my sanity
for I could laugh.

How can you measure morality?
without a ruler
for god commands gravity
and we are fools heirs
lost with our pride
at judgements table
there's no place to hide
no seat for the wicked
no rest for the able.

On his head was a thicket
a crown which was noble
our sins have been washed
our depravity showered
our pride now quashed
and yet empowered
as he does rise
and live again
with clarity's eyes
this poem I pen.

Search for me in the morning
search for me at night
search for me without warning
for I am out of sight.

Hidden in plain view
hidden from your eyes
look for me all anew
so I no longer have to hide.

I am a ghost writer
for my troubled past
I still try to hide her
though you still ask.

To pen a full confessional
to reveal every flaw
let me pretend to be the fool
stop asking me for more.

For I am the secret keeper
the holder of the key
even though you still seek her
she remains within me.

Sunshine my lover
it's darkness under covers
so turn on the light
let's pretend it's not night
sing to me the morning chorus
the night owl will only bore us
pretty though the nightingale
the stars remind us we are frail
yet one star shines brightest
one star knows not what night is.

We shall marry in the morning
whilst the merry birds at dawn sing
father time walks down the path
if only our union could last
as honeymoon begins to fade
beneath the afternoon shade
please don't give up on me yet
it's not time for you to set
allow me an endless summer
let the autumn stay in slumber
hold tightly onto leaves
caress me with your summer breeze
shower me with golden rays
need not count down the days.

I cannot survive another winter
it's already been once since her
my bride left just after noon
I lost my lover to a crescent moon
all that remains is her reflection
no longer looks in my direction
passed long ago over the horizon
heaven and earth divided by a line
you belong above no longer to be mine
farewell my sunshine.

We are all grains of sand on a beach
but if we all stand hand in hand we can reach
perfection like glass.
For our affection is all anyone can ask
and if we freely give as well as receive
we all can live in love before we leave.

If my heart is my compass,
then you are true north,
the first and the last,
the only set course,
you are also the east,
and the south,
the most and the least,
my home and my house,
the only one to which I invest,
because you also are my west.

For you are the present,
the here and the now,
the reason I don't relent,
the why and the how,
if there was a question,
you would be my answer,
the name that I mention,
as you are simply her.

My twisted fantasies
wrapped in cotton candy
so sickly sweet
eyes closed
beneath the sheets
just you and me
tracing lines
inside your thighs
spirals out of control
edging closer
each playing our roles.

Him and her
her and him
lost in limbs
where mine end yours begin
skin on skin
sweat on sweat
our own special cocktail
something wet
love on the rocks
already cocked
as I start to dock
bed rocks.

Creating waves
waving away past misfortune
our bodies slaves
under the moon
May it never end
June would be too soon
watching your body bend
like a reed in the wind
how you roar like a lion
screams mistaken for those dying.

I'm not even trying
this is just the beginning
the sweat soaked linen
******* beneath us
caught in our lust
an innocent bystander
of him and her
her and him
of their sin.

If home is where the heart is
then with you is where I shall live
for without you I have no home
without you I'm all alone.

I've given you the key to mine
so that you will never get lost
that you can always find
your way home at any cost.

As through my hearts entrance
you will find your resting place
for its with you I entrust
my love that's encased.

Its key you did take
so please don't be careless
nor my love forsake
and leave my heart homeless.

You're just a hood cat
living on the street
shacked up with a ***** rat
but always lands on her feet.

You arch your back and extend your claws
when you see him with his filthy ******
somehow he's got you on a tight leash
despite his roaming and quick release.

You still have nine lives
but none involve me
you visited all the dives
as far as the eye can see.

Under your constant spell and bewitched
as you purr content and whiskers twitched
always bringing you saucers of cream
days spent cat napping, watching you dream.

Don't answer when called
never listen or schooled
no time for interaction
or love and satisfaction.

Easily led but not easy to follow
the words you said now seem so hollow
and yet my door is always open
to take you in when you are broken.

I am what I am
a man with no plan

but I don't understand?
  you don't have a plan

I don't have a plan
what's to understand?

What about your hopes and dreams?

I just dont know I screamed!
Why do I need dreams to succeed
and what is success anyway?
Why can't I just live my life at play

because you have to take things seriously

seriously, but why?

Imagine all the regrets you will have when you die

regrets about not having a plan?
but what if I die before I can fulfil my plan
now its me that doesn't understand
how can I write a story
if its constantly unfolding
it sounds kinda boring
to already know the ending
I would much rather sing
and why do I need a career path
when I would much rather laugh
all this planning seems so daft!

But you have to be a responsible adult

you mean like a banker that steals?
or a soldier that kills?
or a politician that lies?
or a butcher that cuts up animals with knives?

no! no! those are just the extremes!
you got to have dreams!

I do dream
of being free
of being me
no judgements
no labels
just what you see

But what about a vocation?
a location?
somewhere to hang your hat!

life is a vacation
I don't need none of that!

look I am what I am
a man with no plan
you don't have to understand
as long as you can
can what?
just can.

I believe in love at first sight
and not giving up on that fight
I believe in fairy tales
and true love that prevails
I believe in romance
and taking her hand for the slow dance
I believe in fate
and good things come to those that wait
I believe in simple pleasures
and also making grand gestures
I believe in the ultimate sacrifice
and not needing to think about it twice
I believe in dreams
and clouds bursting at the seams
I believe what you do gets done in return
and that some people will never learn
I believe real beauty comes from within
and never judging because we all have sin
I believe in God above
and the fact that God is love
I believe in miracles
and sticking to your principles
I believe in honesty
trust, virtue and integrity
I believe in innocence
and old fashioned sentiments
but most of all I believe in you
and everything that you do
so to you my heart I am sending
as I believe in happy endings.

I could split the earth in two with my bare hands
I could tear the sea from the sands
I could devour all the pain that's in the world
I could soak up all the anger that's been hurled
I could crush all the demons in the palm of my fist
I could destroy all the murderers that enlist
I could silence all the bullies with a single glance
I could halt all the deviants before they advance
I could protect the children from all that's in store
I could save the innocent from famine and war
I could stop all the tears before they did fall
I could halt all the tyrants before they could rule
I could heal all the sick so that they had perfect health
If only I could save myself.

I see ghosts everywhere
but only when my eyes are closed
too long at them I do stare
for it's them I fear the most.

A lingering foreboding
a heightened sixth sense
my confidence eroding
these feelings so intense.

It's time to bury my ghosts
for them to haunt elsewhere
no longer will I be the host
no longer will they scare.

I will exorcise my demons
I will exorcise my fears
now I can start dreaming
no more nightmares.

I will mourn for a thousand days
or until I run out of ways
to say
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
I loved you
I'm sorry
I still do
I'm sorry
you're gone
I'm sorry
I was wrong
to hold on
can't you see
I was never that strong
not without love
and if I could travel
to the stars above
and beyond
just to tell you
I'm sorry
our bond
got torn in two
then I would
once again
I'm sorry
we're through.

I never left you
I was always near
I never flew
your voice I did hear
sometimes as an echo
or scrawled across a page
for not once did I let go
with the anger and the rage
I was always out in front
or standing by your side
not far did you have to hunt
for me to confide
you may think that I had gone
to attend to my wounds
but you would have been wrong
whenever I leave will be too soon.

I dream of innocence
of days long spent
beneath summers sun
a Carpenters son
and royal daughter
a Queen and a martyr
one girl one boy
eyes fuse like alloy
caught in a sudden trance
a courtship dance
loves hypnotic rituals
of star filled visuals
white lights against black night
white Knight versus black Knight
this is now a game of chess
strategizing what to do next.

Three is a crowd
how I wish he wasn't around
your first mistake
so I sit and wait
for the nightmare to be over
for my Knights mare to save her
I already know the pain she's due
it's as old as the sun, this rain isn't new
nothing washes away infidelities sinning
nothing can make them white sheets of linen
once innocence is lost like paradise
if only you took another roll at the dice
maybe fate is predetermined numbers
and maybe innocence only exists in slumber
maybe it was lost at birth
maybe it's just an ancient curse
inherited from days long ago
maybe we were never white as snow.

But still I have this martyrs cause
yet still I never really give pause
the Knight that sacrifices for his Queen
for he has already witnessed all to be seen
history repeating itself
Déjà vu sapping our health
reincarnated pain
can the black Knight ever be slain?
or is it just another side of the coin
everyone is still curtain drawing
hiding from the dark
the day that's lost its spark
black night only masks the sun
black Knight versus the Carpenters son
but white lights appear in the sky
the white night is there when we die
when our numbers finally up
when our slumber finally stops
the ending of the night
maybe we aren't really Knights
maybe we are all just pawns
so innocence can be reborn.

.......it was easier at the start because my heart wasn’t involved,
my art didn’t revolve around you.

I resolved to be true.

That was my downfall.

This grown fool so easily displaced and his heart laid to waste before you all.

I was never a magician I couldn’t make feelings disappear but I could conjure up a million memories out of thin air.

You didn’t care at least you stopped caring if I was wearing my heart upon my sleeve like some fashion trend.

I still can’t pretend I’m over that phase, the graze of love still got me bleeding in patches and my heart still latches onto those distant memories like songs once sung in harmony

but what is a songbird with clipped wings that still sings to the same old moon?

People got tired of his tune his somber melodies so he learned to bury memories........

Twisting and turning
listening and learning
trying to achieve
lying as we weave
always out of grasp
so we ask
seek and you shall find
through the eyes of the blind
an immense treasure
but do you have the measure?
can you compete?
with a humble heart
when yours is so full of greed
it's what you want not what you need
this everlasting peace
a silence of words
so now you're deaf and blind
not even the words can be signed
so you're forced to listen
to what's within
a slow beating
a steady rhythm
don't give in
DON'T GIVE IN

There's no reason for suicide
just **** the mind
end of ego
what you seek you will sow
so let go
IT'S OK
just lay
you're safe here
by yourself
be yourself
don't beat yourself
IT'S OKAY
there's no why or how
just STOP!
*right now

the time has come
but what for
when time is done
you will want more

theres never time
for nothing much
you'll never find
the time for such

as time is short
and in the end
it can't be bought
yet time does mend

its time to go
once its begun
only time does know
the setting sun

after all, time will tell
*but keeps its secrets oh so well

They say the pen is mightier than the sword
as is Jah mightier than the Lord
but to ignore the truth you can ill afford
for life is your just reward
so sit back, listen and press record
as i school you like a teacher
a spiritual leader
not a priest but a preacher.

It is you who is blind as i dont need my eyes to see
I use my heart and mind combined to set me free
from mankind's chains of apathy
so let me inject the truth into your vital organs
or else turn to stone like mighty gorgons
do on to others as you wish done
respect your brothers, sisters, daughters and sons
only have love in your heart
for the truth I impart.

We've been circling each other for months
two kindred spirits caught in a death stance
I see your vulnerabilities lined up like dominoes
but don't worry I'm here to slay your foes.
A worm is buried in your system
so deep in your head it affects your wisdom.
I will stand by your side always to protect you
I will never leave, hurt or reject you
I may not be the strongest, fastest or smartest
but for you I will work the longest and hardest
until all our demons are dead and gone
as we stand here all alone
on a desert plain, no sun, moon or rain
just two kindred spirits.

I have reached an impasse
on life's path
an immovable mass
I'm standing still whilst people are running past
if this was a race I would already be last
I cannot force myself to go on anymore
and yet cannot return the way I came
as my feet are rooted to the floor
so I just remain the same.

Feels like I'm on a stage
re-enacting the same scene
when I just want to turn the page
it should be over
has been
and gone
like a worn out song
that goes on and on
stuck on repeat
the same old beat
same moves
same shuffle of feet.

Caught between a rock and a hard place
stalled in life's race
travelling at a snails pace
at twenty nine
it's hard to define
why I still have this childish mentality
at some point I must face reality
yet I cannot go forward
because of a mental block
so things remain awkward
and now I have stopped.

I have reached an impasse
on life's path
an immovable mass
I'm standing still whilst people are running past
if this was a race I would already be last
I cannot force myself to go on any more
and yet cannot return the way I came
as my feet are rooted to the floor
so I just remain the same.

Feels like I'm on a stage
re-enacting the same scene
when I just want to turn the page
it should be over
has been
and gone
like a worn out song
that goes on and on
stuck on repeat
the same old beat
same moves
same shuffle of feet.

Caught between a rock and a hard place
stalled in life's race
travelling at a snails pace
at twenty nine
it's hard to define
why I still have this childish mentality
at some point I must face reality
yet I cannot go forward
because of a mental block
so things remain awkward
and now I have stopped.

If yesterday was once more
I would not be broke or so poor
but its through life's lessons that I've learned
money spent can always be earned
yet time that passes cannot be returned.

Lost again in my head
need something to take off the edge
since I stopped taking my meds
a different distraction
a new way to get satisfaction
smile at me again
pretend you're more than just a friend
be my muse
so another path I can choose
one where I wasn't set to lose.

Be my guide dog
through my minds fog
my blind slog
up a perilous path
an endless graft
with no sight of summit
but if I don't fight I plummet
into a bottomless pit
so dimly lit
I can barely see
or hardly breathe
for I have paid the cost
now I'm completely lost.

A generation lost in the storm,
the flowers left by those that mourn,
how could we be so careless,
to loose something so precious,
so many jewels that sparkled,
are now in heavens star pool.

Why they were taken so young we may never know,
all that remains is the afterglow,
a silent memory of those now gone,
another wordless song now sung,
so worthless for those that now live on.

Since time has no more meaning,
as our hearts are left without feeling,
a numbness in our chest,
since those we loved have laid to rest,
gone are all their problems,
they are lost but not forgotten.

If only words were strong enough to heal,
of all the lives that you steal,
the broken dreams of the departed,
the lives of those that were barely started.
If we could stand together and fight,
with all our strength and all our might,
we may reach the promised land,
and finish those dreams that they had planned,
at least we can say that we have tried,
to live our lives for those that died.