I have reached an impasse
on life's path
an immovable mass
I'm standing still whilst people are running past
if this was a race I would already be last
I cannot force myself to go on anymore
and yet cannot return the way I came
as my feet are rooted to the floor
so I just remain the same.

Feels like I'm on a stage
re-enacting the same scene
when I just want to turn the page
it should be over
has been
and gone
like a worn out song
that goes on and on
stuck on repeat
the same old beat
same moves
same shuffle of feet.

Caught between a rock and a hard place
stalled in life's race
travelling at a snails pace
at twenty nine
it's hard to define
why I still have this childish mentality
at some point I must face reality
yet I cannot go forward
because of a mental block
so things remain awkward
and now I have stopped.

I have reached an impasse
on life's path
an immovable mass
I'm standing still whilst people are running past
if this was a race I would already be last
I cannot force myself to go on any more
and yet cannot return the way I came
as my feet are rooted to the floor
so I just remain the same.

Feels like I'm on a stage
re-enacting the same scene
when I just want to turn the page
it should be over
has been
and gone
like a worn out song
that goes on and on
stuck on repeat
the same old beat
same moves
same shuffle of feet.

Caught between a rock and a hard place
stalled in life's race
travelling at a snails pace
at twenty nine
it's hard to define
why I still have this childish mentality
at some point I must face reality
yet I cannot go forward
because of a mental block
so things remain awkward
and now I have stopped.

If yesterday was once more
I would not be broke or so poor
but its through life's lessons that I've learned
money spent can always be earned
yet time that passes cannot be returned.

Lost again in my head
need something to take off the edge
since I stopped taking my meds
a different distraction
a new way to get satisfaction
smile at me again
pretend you're more than just a friend
be my muse
so another path I can choose
one where I wasn't set to lose.

Be my guide dog
through my minds fog
my blind slog
up a perilous path
an endless graft
with no sight of summit
but if I don't fight I plummet
into a bottomless pit
so dimly lit
I can barely see
or hardly breathe
for I have paid the cost
now I'm completely lost.

A generation lost in the storm,
the flowers left by those that mourn,
how could we be so careless,
to loose something so precious,
so many jewels that sparkled,
are now in heavens star pool.

Why they were taken so young we may never know,
all that remains is the afterglow,
a silent memory of those now gone,
another wordless song now sung,
so worthless for those that now live on.

Since time has no more meaning,
as our hearts are left without feeling,
a numbness in our chest,
since those we loved have laid to rest,
gone are all their problems,
they are lost but not forgotten.

If only words were strong enough to heal,
of all the lives that you steal,
the broken dreams of the departed,
the lives of those that were barely started.
If we could stand together and fight,
with all our strength and all our might,
we may reach the promised land,
and finish those dreams that they had planned,
at least we can say that we have tried,
to live our lives for those that died.

Love is the only reason we exist
yet love can be a dagger to the heart that twists
the thinly veiled confusion of mist
of emotions mixed.
Unquestioning devotion to another
I'm not talking about the love for your sister or brother
but the kind of love that sets us on quests
the kind of love that is never second guessed
for it's with such certainty that I possess
to conquer all obstacles in my path
as I can accept nothing less
then the true love that lasts.

Surely my heart does not waiver
it's my mind that cannot savor
or comprehend
where love does wish me to send
for I am a slave to my brain
yet its my heart that does aim
a tortured beast
captured by beauty
torn in two and not released
contained within a cage
oh what my heart does crave
not more words upon a page
but the heat of breath
a brush of skin
a touch of flesh
a taste of sin.

Everything else is just a distraction
from my hearts true satisfaction
as I was created in love
and it's to love I shall return
this is not a lesson you can learn
it cannot be taught
as only experience does teach
from experience your heart is reached
and does swell
for it possesses every fibre and cell
all senses from taste to smell.

With love I may die a thousand times
but without it I die a thousand more
for what is life without its core
our very being
as I forgo all senses seeing
just for my heart to love again
and another word I shall not pen
if once more your love will send
or my life you may forever end.

She shines at me from across the room
her reflection caught in glass
a radiance like the moon
and in its beauty I bask

She ushers me to sit and wait
and rest my weary mind
I tried to resist it was getting late
for love I was trying to find

She tells me I need not worry
that everything has its time
I mumble that I am sorry
I just wanted to make her mine

She looks at me with glint in eye
her love beckons me forth
I do my best not to cry
this love its all yours

She sings to me beneath the stars
a melody for a captured heart
the song of love that forever lasts
yet soon she has to depart

Taken in the bloom of youth  
now it's God's love that beckons
for he gains what we loose
all angels must return to heaven

Now she calls on summer breeze
and gently brushes my face
tell me why she had to leave
my life without a trace

Love is everything you can think of and more
Love should never be boring or a chore
Love is about putting someone else first
Love is about accepting them at their worst
Love is no longer sleeping alone in the dark
Love is having somewhere for your ***** to park
Love is finishing each others sentences
Love is knowing another's tendencies
Love is about not forcing issues and lying
Love is holding the tissues whilst she's crying
Love is always trusting and never jealous
Love is regular *** baby!, woohoo!, hell yes!!
Love is having to watch ******* movies
Love is about reassurances like you'll never loose me
Love is knowing when to talk and when to remain silent
Love is closing the toilet seat, that extra kindness
Love is defending her every flaw
Love is spending time with the in-laws
Love is about sharing everything
Love is buying that eternal ring
Love is accepting she's always right
"I love you" is a quick way to end a fight
Love is about that special kiss
Love is saying "no your *** does not look big in this"
Love is daring to eat her meals
Love is about caring how she feel
Which brings me to the age old question
"Is this really love or just indigestion?"

They say love is blind
for it's only now the truth do I find
that you are with someone else
because of your ill health
and yet I have only been loyal
so our relationship I didn't spoil
but you were willing to give it up
to drink from someone else's cup.

Was it because I wasn't good enough?
or just because you didn't want my love?
I would have done anything
just to call you mine
I stood by you through everything
and yet still with someone else you choose to dine.

Well I hope he loves you as much as me
for its only through my eyes could he see
how deep are your scars
but still remain as beautiful as you are
I hope he chooses not to fleet
once he gets you between the sheets
for your worth more than any precious gem
to give away yourself so cheap.

Which is why I still try to defend
your very soul
still pray for you every night
still play my role
even though you remain out of sight
I still try to be so kind
still think of you as mine
because love really is so blind.

Heartfelt promises
from loves young novices
secrets told in haste
tears shed that have gone to waste
no smart sensibility
open hearted vulnerability
giving it all away
with these three words that they say
the meaning lost in translation
the heavy cost of this relation
not a notch on the bedpost
but a knot in her throat
pretending to cope
relying on faith and hope
down on bended knee
not in proposition
but to he who sees
for this is our religion
praying to the man upstairs
cameras connect our adjourning stares
the artificial eyes
that glance at the sky
waiting for the rain
praying for a change
in circumstance
so once more they can sing and dance.

Live young
and love strong
for nothing created from the heart is wrong
even if you feel the pain
it proves its real
you're not insane
for every moment suffered in grief
will come a day which brings relief
so don't allow your heart to hesitate
or allow the twists of fate
for its course to dictate
take charge of how you feel
because people will tell you it's not real
they will say give up the fight
that you can't afford to chase the light
but it's that light that keeps us alive
without it we're just dead inside
an empty machine
without love we just sleep not dream
counting down the hours
till we shut down
pushing up flowers
from an earthly mound.

Why do you look at me with that grin?
Why do you smile like you know something?
There is an emptiness inside
a pain I cannot hide
a memory I can't displace
that's shown across my face.

Why does everything turn to ****?
You and me we fit
and yet you still can't see it.
All I ask for is a day
to take us far away
from all this bitterness and decay.

No more lies
no more betrayal
no more alibis
no more denial.
So once more we may prevail
and rise again
like a phoenix
or Jesus.

For I am Mars and you Venus
upon the stars as we lie
so beautiful upon the nights sky.
How can any man a love defy?
Or even define?
For I am yours and you are mine.

Pieces of the master echo through the halls of time
his fingers reaching out like twisted vines
clawing at our selfish center
the words that continue to linger
urging us to walk the straight and narrow
words that don’t worry the sparrow
maybe because they've learned to fly
all I ever learned was how to die
death haunts my deepest parts
but it’s darkness hasn't reached my heart
a light that's always glowed
it beats out his message in morse code
maybe a wiser man would heed the call
as others look on and shout, the fool!
"how can you adhere to ancient wisdom?"
they’ve blocked their ears they do not listen
yet upon his fruit they still feast
ignorant of the original masterpiece.

Grant me the solitude of my illusion
a man born from broken dreams
if I knew how it all started
then maybe I could tell you how it ends
I wish for those dearly departed
until then I still pretend.
A fly caught in a spiders web
a mouse to a snake that's fed
we all know of our own demise
yet we all choose to close our eyes
maybe we are different
destined for some greater path
a beaming star in the distance
a celestial body that forever lasts.
Its imagination that sets us apart
the ability to dream
so lets live through our heart
and not by our means.

Let me take you on a journey
to learn me
and enter my minds maze
where you will spend days
trying to escape.

From the outside
just an ordinary guy
no reason to think otherwise
but you haven't got a clue
until you step through
the entrance
that's when you start your sentence.

You're free to leave
and free to roam
any time you please
as long as you don't stray
too far from home
that's when you pay.

An enigma
unable to decipher
still trying to find the exit
a reason to exist
I've walked for days
in many directions
but whichever way
or whatever suggestion
I always end back where I started
disheartened.

If I wrote you a letter
if I sang you a song
would you start to remember
where you belong.

The place you never left
not in memory
but within my chest
you're always with me.

So come back and listen
you can hear it beat
for you it's missing
it's song sheet.

For what use is beating
if your ears don't hear
anything else is cheating
everything else is fear.

Let me be your hummingbird
and you my butterfly
just listen to my words
before you die.

Remember all the miss you's
the smiles and the laughs
and not the misuse
of words that've been cast.

It's easy to say I love you
when someone says it first
or I love you too
as if somewhat rehearsed.

But I never heard you say
those three special words
yet even to this day
you will always be my first.

My first, my last, my everything
this is my love letter
the verses that I sing
how could I forget her...
Why would I?
die would i

Let me caress your every sinew
I do not care if you've been used
for many men know the temple of God
but few on holy ground have trod
her birthplace that is creation
yet they treat you with predation
a child that sleeps within your womb
soon your bed will be their tomb
the years of men will surely pass
upon your head I count the grass
they outnumber thee ten fold to one
and yet their bud is still but young
our age is like a moth at night
that travels towards the sacred light
and is extinguished by the flame
Will you remember my name?
your favoured son
Will you forgive the things I've done?
or another knot in the tree become

You said all I had to do was ask
so I asked and still you passed
now all I can do is grasp
trying to catch sun rays with my hands
yet some say they don't understand
why I try to stoke the fire
the ambers they burn like a liar
hell hath no fury like a woman scorned
well for this woman I've already mourned
and now its the morning after
there was no warning for this disaster
no lighthouse to save this relation ship
no alarm when the fire was lit
everything that burns so bright
will eventually dissolve in the night
yet no matter how long I stay awake
I still can't catch those rays you make
for you are the dawn
the tomorrow that never arrives
so still I mourn
the day our relationship died.

I'm sorry Mr. snail for stepping on your home
it wasn't intentional I'm just accident prone
in my defence, it was really dark
and you had stopped short on the path
but really that's not an excuse
for gods, green earth is for everyone's use
so please accept this humble poem
as way of apology for destroying your home.

They say talking to yourself is a sign of madness, but who cares what they say no one else can hear them.

Lovers are like vampires they either bleed you dry or grant you immortality with a single kiss.

Today I witnessed a man jogging in Flip Flops
~
it was like watching my Granddad dance to Hip-Hop
~
pre hip-op

If you want my advice
follow your heart
and never think twice.
Never give away your love freely
nor hand over your heart so easily
remember it is fragile
so please take time and wait a while
as patience is a virtue
so hold out for the one
and let no one hurt you.

Never let anyone talk you into bed
wait for them to show it's real love
and not just sweet words being said
never let them beneath the sheets
nor waste precious tears on liars and cheats
Even though your heart may seem broken
it's a muscle and over time gets stronger
with every healing word that’s spoken.
Real friends are worth their weight in gold
as they will remain till the end
when you're grey and old.

Never let anyone make you feel inferior
nor cause you to question what's in the mirror
don't listen to their jealousy
for real beauty is more than you can see
it's what's found deep within
and not what's painted on the skin
as that deception fades with age
and all that's left will be an empty cage
where your heart used to rest
a hollow feeling in your chest
if you don't want to pay that price
then please follow my advice.

Fear is just a fabricated reality
an elaborate mentality
a construct of my insecurities
a way to make me ill at ease
fear is an oppression
an unwanted obsession
for most fear disappears
and their lives resume
but for me it adheres
and all but consumes.

Fear is an habitual disease
with no sign of quick release
a negative mindset
a constant blindness
no escape from darkness
which leads to panic
a strong urge to leave this planet
maybe only death holds the answers
I guess I will never know
unless I accept fears advances.

Fear is just a thought
which is learned
not taught
so I dare not think
or else turn to drink
to numb my brain
to ease the pain.
Now memories are erased
pictures have become hazed
yet my fear it still remains.

My love flickers like a flame
as it dances in the breeze
it stands out in the rain
and refuses to leave.

My love is stubborn as a rock
it cannot be moved
it cannot be stopped
even though it's been used
just a single drop
can change the world
from being filled with hate
for it's my fuel
that does dictate
my every move
as my hearts been cast
it's lit the fuse
it burns so fast.

My love is a raging fire
that cannot be quenched
an angelic choir
it does not relent
destroying everything in it's path
for it's heaven sent
I know not of it's power
yet I feel it burn
I watch it devour
and try to learn
how to control the beast
that burns within
whilst it feasts
upon my sin.

How do you destroy passion?
how can you control the fire?
for my love is everlasting
my love does not tire.

Always thinking
what am I thinking?
lets start writing
should be sleeping
why am I thinking?
I need to sleep now
bored of sheep, lets try cows
maybe I should count the spots
or connect the dots
of my thoughts....

Dalmatians are the cow canine
ten, eleven, twelve
deeper I delve
sleeper I'm not
wide awake, no
half baked dough
money makes the world go round
funny how it doesn't make a sound
yet people are so loud
it's not needed
nod your head when greeted
nod your head when agreeing
or leaving, deceiving, grieving
maybe thats bowing
bow your head when grieving
Robin Hood had merry men
and they were thieving
still need to be sleeping
dreaming........

If only I could dream of you
as we sail the ocean blue
you would get sea sick
and I would drown quick
this is how my dreams end
much like our relationship
conscious thoughts
maligned with nonsense fraughts
I fraught of you today
tonight, this night
every night
you my light
my darkness
my rainbow
tied around your neck
so delicate
a pretty little thing
no tongue ring yet
butterflies
toast lands sunny side
glass half empty
I'm half fool
a joker in the pack
Batman that's a fact
I only come out at night
your caped crusader
I tried to save her
but the current dragged her under
she now resides in the depths of my mind
a shipwreck
my Mary Rose
how I loved your eyes and nose
and everything attached
did I remember to put the door on the latch?
turn off the oven
come give me loving
and affection
Marvin Gaye, Joan Armatrading
sing to me so I can sleep
sheep, cow, dalmatian, sheep..........

This world is not meant for dreamers, poets or lovers
only to be torn apart
slowly dissected by death's scythe
worn down by the language of life
words, weapons and worries
all designed to destroy us
losing yourself in a flurry
a chaos of accidental karma
taken by the hand and led astray
I never wanted to harm her
I just wanted it my own way
a perfected illusion
trying to mould life to suit our ideals
but it's those same ideas that ****
torturing us during the night
and rotting our insides by the day
the maggots of the mind
make bait for the fishes
the world is full of sharks
this world is malicious
as I wade through the dark
you devour me whole
spit out my bones
and consume my soul
then leave me alone
for there's no more you can take
there's nothing of value left
when I rise I will be awake
or else my name is death.

Why did you set your standards so high?
I was born with wings but couldn't fly
You said to me "why didn't you try?"
I replied, "I did, but there's no sky"

And yet still I survived the fall
to respond to your mighty call
through the eyes of that child I see
release me father, set me free.

Why was I created in this world?
To be corrupted like a child?
When I was taught how its meant to be
come release me, set me free.

I tried to live my life by your crown
but the rain came and I started to drown
if this pain now is my fee
come release me, set me free.

I was washed away in this dark world
into the pit I was hurled
but I'm not like them can't you see
come release me, set me free.

My heart is pure but my flesh is weak
it is your pity that I seek
recall father when I sat at your knee
come release me, set me free.

So forgive me God if I was bad
I did not mean to make you sad
if you see this heartfelt plea
come release me, set me free.

Please take me now I've served my time
I suffered the pain without a crime
remember me father in memory
I am released, I am set free.

I have fantasies
where you belong to me
not as a slave
or a bird in a cage
but as a promise
something exclusive
shared between us
a capsule of time
where you'll always be mine
two hearts of one mind
to love more than simple words
to fly free like the birds
not contained within a cage
or what I write upon a page
an ode to love is just that
words strung like Cupid's bow
I plant them and watch them grow
into poems forged from love
and cast into solid gold
to form a band around her finger
where it will be till the day is old
when memories no longer linger
we may not be able to reminisce
but I shall always remain
this is my promise.

I've not developed the negatives
so that I can see the positives
still wet behind the ears
trapped within my fears
as I sit here in the dark
trying to leave a mark
to be remembered for something good
instead of just being misunderstood
so let me try to explain
why I focus on the pain
see its not by choice
that I listen to the voice
the chorus of doubt
there's no way out
there's no way out
a zoo of words
arriving in herds
the stampede of sentences
I guess that's what my sentence is
inside this brain cell
my bottomless well
a lifetime guarantee
of poetry.

My mind clouded with false judgements
my heart out pours in abundance
but no ones here to catch my tears
for no one hears my minds fears
i told them all to you once
but i guess even for you it was too much
for its full of ***** ******
whilst in my bed lies metaphors.

How long must we play this game?
where I get angry and you do the same
pretending that we just don't care
oh what a stupid pair
for what was our crux
from that tree is now plucked
so i cast my mind on new horizons
where upon my thoughts are silent.

A girl stood before me at the supermarket
a few random items littered her basket
pink socks poked out from her sneakers
they were covered with little creatures
an inch of flesh stood between
those ankle high socks and her jeans.

Nice socks I exclaimed!
she turned around inflamed
looked at me and said
I have a boyfriend
her face now red.

Are they his I asked?
her face broke into a laugh
sorry I got so defensive
guys make me apprehensive
I don't really have a boyfriend
sometimes I just like to pretend.

*I know how you feel I replied
in embarrassment I've often lied
and whenever I'm struck by beauty
of someone new I meet
I can't look directly at them
I look towards their feet.

Life is just one big mistake
but its how we deal with the ones we make
what chances we take
and those we forsake.

All I can offer is my advice
from my experience
because I've paid the price.
So be wiser than me
for I didn't listen
this you can see
that life has no guarantees.

Try to always do your best
for life isn't practice
this is the test
there are no second chances
no reboot or delete
so make sure you pass this
instead of suffering defeat.

Don't waste time accumulating your stack
for what you waste now you will never get back.
Love somebody with your whole heart
and don't let anyone tear it apart
or trample upon your dreams
don't settle for the milk
when you can have the cream.
Remember you can't change the past
so live your life now
and make those memories last.

Treat everyone as your equal
because we are imperfect people
all Adam's sinners
we all started as just beginners
allowed to run lifes race
by the beauty of God's grace
we all make our own choices
no one else can force us
so don't be easily led astray
as life eternal awaits
and that's forever and a day.

I impaled a jelly baby with a cable tie
if karma has its way that will be how I die
something mundane and completely stupid
like drowning in a shallow puddle
or skewered by an arrow from cupid
don't worry though I won't put up a struggle
I will slip quietly to the great beyond
then you will have a reason not to reply
there's no cause to repair a broken bond
when I'm living the high life in the sky
I probably won't be wearing a halo
on account of my foolish pride
but I will still attempt to say hello
greetings to you from the other side
so if you notice your books are falling
as if taken by a sudden gust of wind
it will just be this idiot calling
trying to contact a long lost friend.