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Dec 2014 · 1.0k
Old Texts
I was reading old texts again
Or at least what little is left.
How I wish we could go back
To the time we talked til morning.

Typing on our phones
Like time didn't exist.
Sending texts
Like it was world's end.

We'd talk of nothing,
But something at the same time
I don't know if I forced you
Or if you truly did want to speak.

The past can bring joy and pain,
And now I'm in both.
I wish we still texted each other
Because I sort of miss you.
My phone doesn't ring as much as it used to.
Dec 2014 · 750
Anonymity
Codenames make you anonymous.
I gave you one.
Now, looking back at it,
I wish I didn't.

I gave you that name
So I could tell you I loved you
Without you knowing
And without you leaving.

I gave you that name
To say I would do anything
To get your heart
So we could die together.

I gave you that name
So we could both live in a world
Where only we existed,
Where we could be anything.

I gave you that name
To make you anonymous
And now that you know your name
You're truly anonymous to me.
Juvenile mistakes I will probably make again.
Dec 2014 · 539
Mine.
Leave him.
The bits that are my heart
Break into more
And now they're dust.

I'm on the verge
Of tears
Because I want to be the one
Who makes you happy.

I pretend I don't love you,
But I really do.
I pretend because I know
That you won't say it back.
Dec. 6, 2014

I know that I'm selfish, but I've reached this point where I would do anything to get you. If only I had courage.
Dec 2014 · 832
Drinks.
This drink makes me happy
I say as I gulp down my gin
It helps me forget the problems I'm in

This drink makes me happy
I say as I swallow my *****
It helps me forget all my trauma

This drink makes me happy*
I say as I chug down my beer
It helps me get rid of my fears
I'm far from alcoholic.
Dec 2014 · 1.9k
Forgetting you
I still think of you at night sometimes
I wish I had a drink
To forget you

Why won't you stop haunting me?
I need to find someone new
To forget you

We never noticed each other after that night
I need to talk to you
To forget you
Not my best.
Dec 2014 · 572
Fishing trip
I am a fisherman
Looking for the one fish I need
The prized catch
"There are plenty of fish in the sea," they said.
Dec 2014 · 381
A note to my heart. (10w)
Oh come on! Are we really doing this thing again?
Dec 2014 · 3.1k
My Universe
Some girls were stars,
But she was the universe
I wanted my hand in hers

Her glow was that of comets
And her heart was the sun
Her light you could never outrun

The Big Bang occurred in my heart
And instead of galaxies there was love
Through the universe my heart was shoved

She was light-years of work
I couldn't stop thinking of her face
But what remains in my hand is space
This is what my work looks like when done at 4 AM.
Dec 2014 · 320
Loving
Beauty like hers brings pain
Every time at her heart I take aim
All I have is myself to blame

I wish I could put out this flame
Love is the most difficult game
Oh, to the skies I proclaim

Victory will never be claimed
Each loss I suffer is the same
Urges to win her heart are in vain
Love isn't perfect, just like this poem.
Dec 2014 · 499
Haiku #6
Hell's said to be hot
But you were my truest hell
The subzero one
Hell is far from hot.
Dec 2014 · 4.0k
Idiots
Lo and behold! The idiot has returned
      The people ask why
      I shrug and head turn

There he walks with his idiot stance
      I watch him angrily
      As he does his dumb prance

I remember his mind, so simple but true
      We talked a lot in the past
      I think his IQ is less than two

Great Scott! I cry for this hurts me so
      He should be executed
      Or have his ******* cut off for show

I am filled with anger every time he breathes
      How did he live this long?
      He should just stand in a busy street

Alas, there is nothing I can do
      What a shame
       I think he needs some counseling too

Good grief! I don't thinks his parents did well
      Raising a half-wit delinquent
      Oh isn't that just swell?

May this be a warning to you and to all
      Be wary of idiots
      For their brains are small
If the shoe fits, wear it.
Nov 2014 · 1.3k
movies and books
I watched her everyday

                                  like a movie

                           but I knew


                                                               that there was more depth in the book.
Nov 2014 · 2.5k
Snow.
"It’s the things we love most, that destroy us."**
Is the quote that keeps resonating in my head.
I heard it in last night's movie
And it fills me up with dread.

I can say it's true
Since I've experienced it once or twice.
It has frozen my heart solid
What moves through my veins now is ice.
Saw Mockingjay Part I last night.
Nov 2014 · 638
Drunken Dreams
I was out drinking again last night
Going home gave me some sort of fright
For the darkness altered my sight

My world spun unearthly
I watched the planet go topsy and turvy
As I went down home walking curvy

As I arrived home I hit the hay
I thought of you in the bed I laid
More than I did everyday

When I slept I had a dream
That you loved me
Something that could never be

We shared a kiss or two or three
Too good, it was to be
And now a hangover follows me
Good morning. I thought I would like to share last night's events to the world.
Nov 2014 · 482
The Games You Play
I love playing games!
I especially love the one
That we're playing right now!

What was it called again?
The Not-Notice-Each-Other-In-Plain-Sight Game?
Or was it The Let's-Be-Strangers Game?

Or maybe I'm lying
And I want to play my new favorite,
The Punch-You-In-The-Face Game!

Oh, how I would love to play!
But still you insist
On playing the other games

How about we play that old game of yours?
The I-Won't-Show-Up-And-Leave-You Game!
You love playing that one!

Maybe you want to stab me in the back
While you're at it!
Come on! I'll let you go first!
She never apologized.
Nov 2014 · 468
Haiku #5
All the time I thought
Maybe the world hates my love
So I'll be resting
Ah, secret messages.
Nov 2014 · 516
Haiku #4
You were my best drug
I would always take you in
Antidepressant.
Nov 2014 · 389
An Existential Crisis
What am I doing here?
I feel useless.
I've no passion in life
Except for love and hate

I don't think I was made
To love
Nor do I think that
I was made to hate

What am I really?
Am I just abstract
In the entirety
of the universe?

I wonder if emptiness
Is a side effect
Of the ability to think
About the meaning of life
Nov 2014 · 1.6k
Old Friends
What hurts worse than loving
Is losing
Not a lover, but a friend.

They always say "bros before hoes,"
But what if you didn't get the ***
And your bros left too?

What's wrong with this world?
It's full of broken promises and bonds.
I know the feeling all to well.
I hope she knows who she is.
Nov 2014 · 2.6k
Lollipop
I loved you.
What did I get for it?
Nothing but depression

I wanted you so badly
That I would beg and plead to God
Every Sunday at church

I was like a child,
Asking my mother for the one lollipop
That was on the counter at the grocery

Then I think again
After a long time
"Was it worth it?"

I then remember
That I didn't even like the flavor
It was the worst flavor

It was the worst of all
But I still wanted it
Because I was blind

I cried
Because she never bought it
And I wanted that one

I then imagined
What I would do
If my mother had bought it

With my childlike mind,
I would have been overjoyed
To merely have it in my hand

But with who I am now,
I would've tossed it to the ground
And crushed it with my heel

This is what you have done to me
Feel better?
Me neither.
I can't put how sad I truly am in words.
Honestly, I'm too lazy to read long poems,
But I can't stop writing them so
I can sympathize.
Just sayin'. This doesn't apply all the time though.
Nov 2014 · 1.4k
The Search
I'm on the search for fame
Because I don't want the world to bury me

I'm on the search for love
Because I don't want to be buried alone

I'm on the search for an answer
Because I know there's more to life

I'm on the search for happiness
Because I want to go out with a smile

I'm on the search for everything
Because I want to live life to the fullest.
Give me some feedback, guys! Let me know you're alive! Just wrote this down now. Not my best work, maybe I'll improve on it one day.
Nov 2014 · 393
Haiku #3
I need a drink now
I'm too tired of studying
Finals will **** me
Nov 2014 · 376
Wishes and sins
How I wish I could stab you
And kiss you as you bled out


How I wish I could choke you
And embrace you til sundown


How I wish I could stalk you
And watch your every move


How I wish I could date you
And ****** you as I took you home


I love you and I hate you
For forsaken me, you have


I hate that I love you
I have feelings for a hag


I love that I hate you
I want to feel you blood on my skin


I don't know how to feel about you
You always make me want to sin
May 20, 2014 was the day I decided I didn't know what you really were to me anymore.
Nov 2014 · 396
10w
10w
Here I go once again
I'm currently preparing for pain.
First shot at a 10w
Nov 2014 · 17.7k
Coffee
I'm dreaming again
I kissed you and you kissed me
We both felt the aftertaste
Of coffee in our mouths
Nov 2014 · 394
Haiku #2
There are things I miss
I don't know which one you are
I am confused now
Nov 2014 · 327
Haiku #1
I had just lost her
But I lost her from the start
I was just too late
Nov 2014 · 594
The Brightest Light
You make me feel different, which is nice.
Your beauty makes me melt away like snow and ice.
Remembering you on a cold night
Makes me feel warm in the inside.

You are like a very bright light
You lead me out of a dark place
At midnight.

Every time we break apart
I want to tell you what's in my heart.
If I'm stuck in darkness during midnight,
You'll always be my brightest light.
This was the first poem I wrote! It was about four years ago when I put this together. I'd love to hear your feedback on it.
Nov 2014 · 298
Paskuhan
I can't wait for Christmas to come
Since Lovers' Lane will be lit up
It will be peace and quiet
Since all the lovers will have their mouths shut

They would all be looking up high
At the beautiful Paskuhan lights
Then look down again at each other
To spot perfection in their sight

How I wish we could go,
But I don't think so
Since it has always been just me
And you're still with your SO

I'm kind of jealous inside
Your boyfriend's a lucky guy
I guess we won't be walking together
As long as you're by each other's sides.
Let me hear your feedback!

My Uni has the habit of lighting up the so-called Lovers' Lane during Christmas time. For those of you who are curious of what "Paskuhan" is, here you go: http://fil.wikipilipinas.org/index.php/UST_Paskuhan.
Nov 2014 · 869
One of those nights
Some nights I would imagine us
Living happily in a home in the suburb
With our wedding rings secured
On our left hands

Some nights I would imagine us
Having breakfast together, just us
A meal we both cooked
And probably burned a bit

Some nights I would imagine us
With out bodies entwined on our bed
Fast asleep after a time of intimacy
Skin on skin, heart to heart

Some nights I would imagine us
Kissing in the rain
Letting loose all the pain
As we felt the cool droplets splash

Some nights I would imagine us
At a hospital, exchanging places
On who would be on the hospital bed
And what we would say, our last goodbyes

Some nights I would imagine us
If one of us died
What would the other one do?
Wait for the end or fill in the gap?

Some nights I would imagine us
Having at least two kids
They would love us as parents
We'd raise them to be great

Some nights I would imagine us
If there would never be an us
How we would end up with others
And just go our separate ways

Some nights I would imagine us
And all the possible outcomes
Both if we'd be together or not
And that "some night" is tonight
Hey! How was the poem? I'd love to hear your feedback!
Oct 2014 · 26.4k
Feelings
I feel blank
I feel useless
I feel the goosebumps on my skin

I feel hatred
I feel love
I feel the problems I am in

I feel lost
I feel found
I feel like a sin
Oct 2014 · 3.3k
Manila Evenings
I went through the sidewalk on Pedro Gil and Taft
The blaring red and green traffic lights
Sort of obscured the view through my spectacles
In the early Manila evening

The smell of cancer in the air
Complimented the noise of the jeeps
That raced through the intersection
As the sun slowly sunk at the sight of the moon

I saw faces less and less
As the broken street lamps flickered
Some people were minding their own business
Others shouted and laughed in the street

I saw people gripping onto their bags
Like they gripped onto their lives, because the city is never safe
Especially at the dusk
Where all the thieves come out to play

The noise may reach above heaven
And the air may be as ***** as the sewers
But there is no other place
That I would consider home
Went on the good ol' commute from uni to home today. Just a few observations.
Oct 2014 · 3.3k
Daydreaming
I spent my days staring at her
Contemplating her beauty
Missing lessons left and right
Failing quizzes and the like

I used my spare time thinking about her
Us having picnics on hills
Staring lovingly into her eyes
Her face radiating in the sunlight

I imagined our waking hours
In our house by the beach
Opening our eyes so sluggishly
Exchanging smiles, her and me

I stopped daydreaming and thought
Of the dark reality
I imagined all the way
And let her slip away
Oct 2014 · 326
Sparks.
Oh look at all that burning passion.
You can feel the heat it brings
As it dances around
Illuminating the room

What magic started this fire?
I ask as the flame dances
It grows hotter
As I try to find it's source

I then remember
That the flame
Started out as
*Sparks
Have I ever considered ******?
I ask myself
Yes
I thought of murdering the one I love
Because I could never read her signs
that she was pushing me away
Have I ever thought of suicide?
Of course I have
I think about it
All the time
******
Suicide
Death
Pain
I don't know what has come over me
Everything is painful
My body and my soul
I just don't know what to do
And let's face it
Almost all of us have fallen for a *****
Who will leave you in a flash
I don't know why I'm not over it
*******
I'm living in hell
A hell I can't escape
Because the one I love,
The one who left me
Reminds me of everything that exists
Oct 2014 · 287
Some thoughts and truths
Every time I think of suicide, I write a poem.
My writing is what keeps me sane
I've gotten this far, so I'll keep on going.

My writing, my writing,
Thank you so.
For without you this one would not be written

Each time there is a blade softly pressed against my skin,
I put it down and write about this ******* I'm in
It keeps me alive, but keeps me sad.

I think I'm depressed, maybe I'm not,
Maybe I just want out.
Out of this life, out of this world, out of everything now.

If you hate me, I hate you too,
But nobody hates me more than myself.
I've known myself too long to love me.
Written on Oct. 23, 2014

Written out of impulse. Had some problems last night and wrote some poems to try and calm down. Hence, the seemingly scattered flow.
Oct 2014 · 466
Help me.
Help me for I suffer
Love songs mean nothing now
Drag me into my grave

Tears race down my cheeks
And my skin turns cold
Why must you do this to me?
What sin have I committed?

Haunt me no longer, I wish
Burn in eternal fire, breathe in my hatred
I hate loving you

Images of you and I burn my memory
There was no then, no now
There was only I who loved
While you endured my infatuation

Drown in my love
Leave me be
Die
Written on May 19, 2014

Let's face it, she never liked me anyway. She never will too. Even if nothing happened between us, it still hurts like hell.
Oct 2014 · 803
Dull Temptations
I'm smelling ash that isn't there
And tasting beer I haven't drank,
I have you to thank.

I miss these dull temptations
Even all they've done is hurt me.
Leaving me was easy, how hard could it be?

These days I laugh,
I laugh with pain,
I can't even try to say your name.
Well, here's something. It isn't much, I guess. Charles Bukowski's "Cows in Art Class" stuck with me and here's something I cooked up from it.

— The End —