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silvervi Jan 2017
The anchor of my heart
Please let me work

Stop holding me back
This struggle's a fact

Set me free instead
Let me focus on something but that

The anchor of my heart is too heavy
To move forward

I wanna cut it off
But I don't have the power

The anchor of my heart
Killed the message, the life
It is always there, this strife

And I can't move it
It's calm but heavy
It pulls my heart down
To the ground
Until the motion
Is frown
And there is no way back
I'd better understand
My emotions instead
The only way out
Is not to scratch on the surface
To ignore the internal maze
But to take a deep breath in
And to deal with the anchor within
Carolina Dec 2016
The snow drifts from the roof tops,
Lights shine in the brisk evening.
Cheer is spread,
Joy follows behind the winter winds.

Letters are sent North to Saint Nick,
Children dream of what might come in the early morn,
Prayers are shared around the dinner table.
Memories are created to be never forgotten.
Stories being shared with those you love.

Tears fall upon my pillow,
While bellows of laughter echo,
From the other side of the bedroom door.
Life seems to be coming to a stop.

My only Christmas wish is to be by your side,
Surrounded by the most welcoming family,
The warmest love,
The family I always hoped to be apart of...
Yet it still isnt feeling like Christmas.

The joy, cheer and laughter being stolen away,
The pain hiding behind a fake smile..
The words echo "it could be worse."
If its true I dont want to know what it is.

My only prayer is that I wake up by your exciting yells.
All my letters to dear Saint Nick saying one thing.
"Please bring him home."
All go unanswered.

My only Christmas wish is to hear you say,
"Im home Mommy."
Hold you in my arms as we see what Santa has blessed you with.
Viseract Dec 2016
I don't seem to fit in
"Be yourself" they said
So of course I rebelled.

I tried being the cool kid
Ahaha, what a laugh that was
Try being confident after years of being nervous?
Yeah, it was a bit of a wreck

I tried being silent
But I would always speak out of turn...
It takes great sadness to shut me up
It seems..

I tried being tough
Despite my height,
Nobody believes you if you ain't packing a six-pack

I tried to isolate myself
But my soul longed for company
So much that it began to even annoy me

So eventually I tried being myself
I have lots of "friends", people who only care about my losses but never share my wins.
Some close friends.... at times it feels as though they don't exist
It seems to me that being a "creep", "******" and "stalker"....
Well, they seem to be who I am.
Don't mind me sobbing in the corner

I'm just being myself
The feels
I really want to be strong,
                                                           A warrior.
No fight or flight,
                                                          Just fight.
I want to be tough and wise,
                              A survivor and a fighter.
I WILL become more than these things,
                           I will emerge their leader.
Aseh Oct 2016
I can't trace the crown of my indifference towards you (or anyone else) to a definitive source.
Whether you are strung to me or I to you,
our union imports
several interpretations.

You might be like fishing wire:
binding limbs, constricting movement;
if I deviate, I suffer your sharp cut of resistance.

Maybe you're yarn: soft, nurturing; but again, any move that falls outside the lines of your predicated design--any undue tightening or loose end--results in chaos.

Or perhaps you are the hand that draws the line:
you, the invisible puppeteer
who governs my every wayward glance
or dishonest act at the whim of your object, your desire;
one string leads to the
magnetism of your cologne
and another, the heat
of your knees in fitted jeans
against mine.
If it be that,
then, my indifference would serve as my aide,
a final desperate cling to autonomy.

But what if we were both cast
in the same web, rendered useless
through entanglement, would we
claw towards each other, content
though the silk grows thick
with every reach?
Would we tear our way to liberty?
Or if we were to find that thing-
the source-
and cut all ties,
would magnetism wind us up again?

If I unravel, what would you do?
If you unravel, would I leave you
in a pile at my feet?
Would I cast dead strings aside
and embrace the freshness-
raw and bleeding but alive-
beneath the rage?
Àŧùl Oct 2016
I had been bending over,
I used to do that for her.
Little did she ever hear,
Seldom she treasured ever.

Maybe I just can't get enough,
Never she went astray, though.
Determinedly I wasn't tough,
She managed to spoil the dough.

Perhaps life would someday shine,
Someone might come my way.
And then she'll be mine,
On this life's highway.
HP Poem #1169
©Atul Kaushal
Rasmia Sep 2016
I had to give up my sexcapes
I started to form an addiction
and realized the control I thought
I had, had me.

No more did it become my great
escapes but left me feeling
confused and unamused...
**** it was getting hard for
me to breathe.

It was hard for me to believe
that I had sunken to that level
treating my body as a worthless
vessel, digging holes in my
soul and I was holding the
shovel.

****, that's deep...
had to look there for
the parts of me I
had lost.

Guess you can say I
got caught up in the sauce.

The satisfaction became a
fraction. Divided myself
in half and was left
with nothing.

Half a mind, half a soul, half
a body I was walking
around incomplete.

You see I forgot I was a
sun Ray and was my beacon
of hope... promise.

I  promised myself to never
travel back down that path
I picked a dandelion and
made a wish.

With help from God I'm
walking on rainbows to
my own *** of gold.

Gotta give Him praise because
sometimes the road got a lil' rough
but I remained strong.
My journey taught me
to be tough.
Taught me to endure
and have faith.

Now today I'm
celebrating because
my life is a parade.
Commit ****** then flip an ounce, a nonchalant verse that promotes the internal joust, with
pride earned as the only badge that counts.

Tap the snare drum for a bar, or vibing melody,
our backwards society stereotypes "thugs" as, "what drugs are they selling me?"

Rap is art in raw form,
intended to excite the youth who see death as a norm, the daily street storm.

Women de-humanized for a buck,
men taught to only treat them good if they **** and don't run out of luck.

The concrete jungles can only have just one king upon a throne, as the vicious cyclone continues destroying futures of the youth unless they succeed in the booth.

Youth commit ****** then flip an ounce,
pride earned needs to be denounced.
Reine Monroe Sep 2016
I always play tough,
That's how I have to be,
I can't give these mfs the satisfaction from when they played with me,

My mama always told me,
To never let them see that side of you,
Don't let them get to you,
They'll  abuse you and use you,
And
They'll walk away,
Knowingly bruising you,
It always take that one time,
*Don't let it be two...
RisingUp Sep 2016
Wispy thin hair atop her head
Her mind berating her for eating that bread
Eating disorders are not glamorous.

Progress is made
The number creeps up as she's weighed
But she is not cured.

Thin hands, thin feet
Her mind telling her she's too fat to eat
Recovery is not linear.

For recovery she has worked so hard
Yet her mind is focused on her unsightly lard
When will this preoccupation end?

The accomplishment of restriction
Satisfies a distorted internal conviction
Which must be put to rest.


I have to fight to not believe
What I think I perceive
I can't go back down that disastrous path again.
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