I know your soul's corpse lives in lies and
when you're alone in a crowded room
The cracks turn to crevices
That morph into your tomb

I'd love to hear anyone's interpretation of my poem PLEASE comment!! :)

I've scheduled an appointment about 3 different times but, cancelled for each.
I didn't think there was any purpose in laying down the voices in my head for a stranger
When I've spent so much time building cement walls of silence between anyone who has ever gotten too close to me.
I have spent this lifetime creating sound proof dream catchers of my screams.
I am not known to grab hold of clingy hearts
Because, it's hard to hold on to things that are trying to do more than grasp me.
I say goodbye or pass them along as often as the tide comes into the shore.
But, I do not come back as it does.
But, the voices in my head do.
The doubts they hit me like teeth to concrete
The anxiety hits me like 10 ft deep waters with no air to breathe in
And I am not the swimming kind.
I am a runner, so it is hard for me to live in water deep enough to drown in.
I have created water deep enough to drown in.
I have become so controlled that I am numb to hands
And I fall to words so easily.
I scare me
My voice scares me
My thoughts scare me .
Night hits like the sun after a storm
And I can't figure out which one I am or which I want to be.
I have created a tornado of this mind
A wildfire of this heart
And a tomb of this body
And I don't know if I have self-shattered too profusely
And too quietly to fix it.
So I am here now,
You ask me why,
                              And I am here because now
The broken pieces can't be ignored anymore,
It's not getting easier in the morning anymore.
It's getting harder to wake
And I don't know how many more days I can be here
Like this...
This is my last chance to fix it
                                          fix her
                                          fix me.

Burial of fury in a tomb of apathy,
mood moderated and aligned with conformity.

Speech pleasant in tone and comfortable in delivery.
Approaches with cautious optimism his tasks daily.

Though the ship of consciousness has raised its anchor,
he returns to questioning the whereabouts of his anger.  

Yet time and chemistry have dispensed of the mystery.
Restoring balance and forging will to function socially.

She was a lost and beautiful skeleton,
Caught looking at the sunrise,
Torn by images of him; like firelight,
They flickered in her eyes,
Burning; the smoke clouded blue skies.

He was a big and invisible boulder,
She kept heavy on her shoulders,
Her body trembling under the weight,
Her mind, riddled with love and hate.

But show your cat teeth to the lion,
And carry it no longer,
For with time, we’ll make it into sand,
So agreed, you’re keeping my hand.

Like a flower in a human skin coat,
You’ll wilt before you bloom,
Like a gardener in your colorful, cool, garden,
I’ll care for your tomb.
So keep your eyes on the sky skeleton girl,
Soon you’ll see the sun.

He laughed about the idea of a god asking for permission

He joked about the prospect of talent waiting their turn

Sing ...
Sing ...
That is NOTHING !
 Idiots ... !
Sing , by crusty bread .
For you anything goes !
Fools !

Until the last day I will ask ragweed .
 Up to the last , against the wall !
Better be vencid , than to be forgotten
But at least I cry , sweat and expel my soul !
 You die with your soul in your pockets !
folded ,
useless
 Just like money not spent abroad .

******* ...
You Apologize
Laughing together
about your own failure .

Embrace the rage .
The man of the future does not go back to be benevolent .
Express your devotion
Ask apologize and thank !
 Give thanks for the arrogance
because it leads you !

And you, woman of the past !
Thank his claws in your flesh
That lead you through the air ,
Although he was distant .

 It grabs you like a bird of prey ?
Burns the house where you were born ?
So what?
How much is to be timeless ?

Forward!
No silly demands ,
Without losing time,
 and without looking back !

Footprints melted into the snow disappear as a new, pure white blanket falls to rest on top. Steam rises from my coffee cup and dissipates into the cold air. I step outside and sigh heavily. It is quiet but I know I am not alone. I hear you in the wind. I feel you as the bitter cold embraces my body. Tiny hairs stand up on my neck underneath my newly short hair. I cut it all off after you left.

I walk four blocks from the coffee shop. I’m not sure where my feet are taking me. I pick a small, fragile flower that is somehow holding on to life in this chilly weather. God knows it’s doing a better job than I am. I turn the corner and suddenly I know exactly where I am. I walk on further and my trembling legs give out. I kneel down and lightly graze the cold, marble stone. It is freezing, but the slightest touch burns me to the core. I read your name about a dozen times. I remember the flower I subconsciously picked. I want to lay it by your stone but my hands wont let go. I think I’ll keep it. I stuff it back into my bag trying my best to preserve its pristine state. Tears freeze on my eyelashes and cling for dear life, causing me to blink rapidly. I look down until I can’t anymore. It's all too much to handle. The wind blows and I follow its path with my eyes. I watch it shudder through the dead branches on the trees. My gaze follows until it is gone... Until you are gone...

I miss you.