Does anyone catch themselves
in between two realities?
Do you wake up in a cold sweat
from a dream your mind still believes
is real?
Obsessing over every little detail
until your mind collapses from exhaustion.
This isn't a poem,
this is a question-
or is it?
I can't decide.

I am studying.
I am dying from exams.
I should get some sleep.



Don's you just love exams?
I don't.
I hate it.

It was like a kid
Opening the gift
He waited for
For too long
Then found
An empty box
When I
Waited for too long
To be alone with you
Then you fell asleep
Alone
In my bed.

I speak your name into the night
my hands crawl across your sheets
and your body isn't there
I wait
the chill in the air puckers my skin
you've got a steaming cup
in your hand, as you come
softly padding in
the nights blue light
and your warm honeyed eyes
"Come back to bed," I say
"My feet are cold."
"I'll be your heater. Am I hot enough for you to hold?"
you climb in and thump my head


We waited there
Till the rays of light
Shined on our forms
Tea forgotten
Sleeping like two children
In a storm
Clutched to one another tight

Rain drip dropping
On the outside of my bivy sack
Cold air, breathing

I can
Imagine spending my life
Drinking from your mouth
My red wine
Smoking your fingers
Geting high on your breaths
Touching every cell of you
Hearing their stories
With every cell of mine.
.
I can
Imagine waking up everyday
To your hair on my face
Your cold feet touching mine
Your stomach nagging for bacon
And your lips starving for a kiss
.
I can
Imagine you as happiness
And sadness
anger
peace
love
As ups and downs
smiles and tears
As roses and thrones
Heaven and hell
Fire and rain
as the good thing in every one of them
.
I can
Imagine you as life
As reality.

Oh, so you could finally sleep soundly at night,
knowing my gullible body
warmed your cold, corrupted heart?

Yes, I see now,
you are a real criminal,
sleeping contently with me,
knowing as long as I do,
no one will come for you.

You slept quietly, happily, with comfort,
the comfort of a facade
you made me a vital pawn in;
I did not intend to console
your wicked ways with my love.

Try to sleep peacefully now, boy,
and please take those sweet memories with you,
they weren't real anyway.