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Victoria 19h
i'm afraid i'll forget.
if i don't remind myself
who i am,
if i don't talk to people,
if i don't say my name,
i'm afraid i'll forget it.
i'm afraid i'll end up empty,
unknown,
lost in the ocean of faces
that i don't remember.
if i don't hear my name,
if i don't write it down
for a million times,
in a thousand of different ways,
i'm afraid i'll forget
who i am,
i'm afraid i'll end up all alone.
Victoria 23h
your gods are weak,
your gods are silent,
your gods don't speak to you
when all you need
is someone to confide in.
your gods are wrong,
your gods are violent,
your gods ignite the fire of war
and never tell you what to do
with all this rage inside your bones;
the fire seems so very holy
unless it's you they choose to burn.
your gods pretend,
your gods play games,
your gods don't walk around
among this land
of misery and death.
your gods know best,
your gods keep quiet,
your gods don't speak to you
when all you need
is someone to confide in.
and when you're on your own,
when all the hope is lost,
do they look down at you,
your everloving gods?
i can't breathe without you,
i can't think without you,
i can't feel without you,
stranded on my own.
breathing hurts my lungs,
thoughts in disarray,
every day is bleak,
knowing that you're gone.
i can't love again,
i can't hope again,
i can't dream again,
all i want is you.
with a heavy heart,
stripped of all my faith,
every wish i have
brings me back to you.
and i tried to pray,
and i tried to drink,
and i tried to wait,
but you don't return.
so i take the time,
it takes all my strength,
learning how to live.
god, it's been so long
since i slept without you,
since i talked without you,
since i saw without you,
stranded on my own.
breathing hurts my lungs,
thoughts in disarray,
but i'm still alive
even though you're gone.
in a world that's hellbent on division
you might just be my flavour of strange;
and if love is a war,
you can have my allegiance.
if we we burn, we burn bright;
if we die, then we die
holding hands at the edge.
like two planets on course for collision,
we trade endless stagnation for change;
and whatever the cost,
we're not bound by the limits.
if we live, we live now;
if we die, then we die
holding hands at the edge.
i don't believe we've met before,
it brings no pleasure to pretend.
i knew the person that you were,
but now i see there's nothing left
for you to say, for me to change,
like stitching holes inside a dream.
sometimes your home feels like a cage,
sometimes the silence sets you free.
i don't believe we've met before,
but every story has an end.
i loved the person that you were,
but now i know there's nothing left.
there are no compliments
without lies,
like there's no warmth
inside your eyes.
when every laughter's fake
and every smile is sad,
there is no joy in killing
what's already dead.
and if i tried too hard
to make you understand,
it's for a reason
that i can't explain.
and time adds up,
one day
upon another day,
an endless pile of misery
and discontinued hopes.
how i pretend
i've never truly felt alone,
how we erase the meaning
behind every word.
my mind is haunted,
there is no way out.
if you don't care that much
about what happens now,
there's nothing left to say,
there's no one else to call.
if you no longer want me,
could you let me go?
i will wait for a lifetime or more,
i will use every ounce of my strength,
i will pull you away from the edge
when you're no longer able to carry
the weight of the world in your hands;
i will stay for as long as it takes.
i will breathe for us both,
i'll keep faith for us both;
i will wait for a lifetime or more,
and i hope you remember my face.
i will sing you to sleep,
i will shelter your dreams,
i'll keep all of the sadness away.
i will be at your side every time
when you reach out to hold my hand;
i will pray for us both,
i'll keep faith for us both,
i will wait for a lifetime and more.
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