I look up to a pale blue sky
With apologetic eyes
And a heart so very filled
With dim.
Take me back
To the empty box I was
Before I began feeding myself
Gin and jokes of grim.
God, please wash me off my sin,
Or take this foolish thick layer
Of skin.


-- Eleanor

This world is a swam with
a broken neck,
rotting on the canal side.
While the junk of human
life floats in the deep-dirt
water; The cans,
wrappers and sunken
shopping trolleys.
Rancid under a sun
sweating light.
With all the eyes
that dare not look
on the physical,
nor the metaphysical;
for fear of clarity.

He was an emotional blackmailer
He'll always makes you feel like a failure
He lives off of emotion
He tosses you around like the ocean

He craves attention and pity
He's feelings are always gritty
He'll toss words around
He just loves his own sound
He is so ******* vain
And he loves to get inside your brain

He says he loves you then causes nothing but pain
The emotions he puts you through is so inhumane

He makes you feel sympathy because he's so sad
If you don't show enough empathy he gets very mad

He says he'll commit suicide
And you'll be sorry he died
Because it would be all of your fault
It's all just a part of his emotional assault
He loves to hear your plea
"Please don't do it babe" it fills him with glee

Emotional assault by every degree
He'll only love you if with him you agree
In every situation it's all about him
To think any diffrent would be the cardinal sin

With him by your side
It's a very bumpy ride
Love, hate, and pain
To him it's all the same
As long as he is the center of attention
None of your feelings can even be mentioned

A rollercoaster of feelings
Is what he is dealing
He's an emotional blackmailer because he has none of his own
He's empty and hollow just like a drone

So he lives off of yours
He'll break you till your on all fours
He just loves to see you broken on the floor
He'll pick you back up, just to knock you back down
In his little circus, you are his clown

And if you really love him
Your future is most grim

Last night I was shivering
I owned sorrow as mine
You came forward filling the night
Within unseen kisses and hugs

The silence mocked
The pain knocked
What seemed so right turned wrong
What has provoked slowly revoked

You once told me to be brave
Just to obey what has taught me
And what has ruled and created me
I'm no one to be, no one to be

Darling, I've seen tiredness in your eyes
And the hiding grim behind your smiles
Let me wound the sadness for you
So will I weep the scars that gnaw you

We afford too much sore to cope
And wandering too much for home
We've forgotten, we've been untold
That we have each other to hold.

My love, we should've known to whom we belong.

Feb, 12 2016.
09:51 pm
I'm quite insane.

The Reaper who walks but one step behind you
And when you’re down he’ll come play cards with you
Win or lose he doesn’t care, he has time to spare
And the Reapers loss is very rare
He’ll knock you down and kick you in the groin
And just to make sure one in the head if he doesn’t get his coin

To him you are Chicken in the basket
And his only job is to get you in the casket
If he gets you down, he’ll pluck you cards from your still right hand
Leaving you cold and in a box with nothing more than your wedding band
One thing’s for sure, if you lose the fires of hell are waiting
And if you win, the Reaper will leave you hating
You’ll feel his dark weight on your shoulders for the rest of your days
And he will make the time you have left black until you do as he says

Die, Die, Die is what your are told
But it would seem you are too bold
But the wind of change is blowing for you
And life was fine until he kick it up a notch for you...

The Reapers hand of cards fills you with dread
As you know you have a chance of ending up dead
Fear, Fear, Fear throw the cards in the air
Cower in the dark and pull your hair

The Reaper who walks but one step behind you
And when you’re down he’ll come play cards with you
Win or lose he doesn’t care, he has time to spare
And the Reapers loss is very rare
He’ll knock you down and kick you in the groin
And just to make sure one in the head if he doesn’t get his coin

One cut, two cuts, three cuts, four
How many cuts til I am on the floor?
I am an artist, my knife is the pen
My skin is the canvas, spattered with red

Roses are red, with my own blood
Violets are blue, suffocated without love
My clothes are stained
But I am to blame

I scream for help,
I scream in pain
But I get nothing
The responses? The same...

But I learned to **** it up,
I learned to fake it
Because I'm no longer an artist
I am now an actor

Able to fool even the greatest detectives
I even fooled myself