i stood over the sink
waiting for it to fill up
so i could wash
yesterday’s tears
out of my face
when suddenly
i felt your words
grab behind my neck
and submerge me underwater
i could hear every
hateful word you said
muffled beneath the water
when I pulled my head up
the sink was filled with bubbles
and that was your way
of apologizing today
until you do it again tomorrow

on my calender, I have marked
the perfect day to drown.
for the day I will drown will be the most tranquil of them all
the ocean will be perfectly still, not a wave in sight.
the moon high above will not pull the tide.
the creatures in the sea will travel away.
for the day I will drown will be the quietest of them all
the world around me will watch in silence
as I walk towards the center of the ocean
and lie down to drown
the only ripples will be from my steps
for I have chosen to drown
a choice of my own, not the ocean's
my body will sink as if I'm drifting asleep
my bed of water will slowly lower down
to the bottom of the ocean
for it is the perfect day to drown

you look at me like you might drown in me
a body of water, to rinse away the exhaustion
you look at me like there are depths you've yet to dive into
uncharted territory
you trace the inches of me like there will always be more to love
like you will never grow tired of the skin I'm in
I've grown up knowing that my body is a temple
but I've never met someone so dedicated to worshipping it

My bed is a box, filling with water when I least expect it
I am asphyxiating
I was fine until I remembered that there's no one here
Being alone is like

There is smoke in my lungs,
But ice on my skin
The fissure in my heart, the great divide
Why does it even bother to pump my blood anymore?

This is not the kind of poem I like to write

When he wakes, it ends his sound dreamscapes
Profound takes on the world around him
We're all walking through sorrow
& gasping for air as we drown in sin
Today is akin to tomorrow
So he hopes tomorrow doesn't follow
He just needs to borrow some love
So his head can stay above, when push comes to shove

I did this
I let the monster in
I let the demons win
I am pain
Void of gain
Leave me
Hate me
Loathe me
****** me

light

If I deserve life
Then Monster wouldn't have touched me
Monster would have let me be

light it

But instead
I am dead
Monster is merciful master of misery
How lucky

light it up

LIGHT!
IT!
UP!

LIGHT IT UP!
LIGHT IT UP!
LIGHT IT UP!

FLASH

what?
what's that?

A ship in the night?
Did it hear my wet cry?
It sails back
Back to the sunrise
Back to me
Don't ****** my pain
Don't ****** my misery
Let it be
Let it be
Let them be
Let them see

I need
A break
To just be

I didn't do this
All monsters come in
And sometimes
They will win
But only the battles
Never the wars
YOU own this ship
This voyage is YOURS

If I'm to survive
I'll stay in MY ship
I won't drown again
On this night, I live

She hoped that monsters were just shadows sneaking around corners, but the shadows turned around and gobbled up the monsters. The shadows were still hungry, they are never satisfied, always lonely, always wanting more.

They kept creeping in the dark when no one could see them, looking for their next friend, victim, meal.

“Come to the darkness” they whispered to her. “We will accept you. You need no words with us. We understand you.”

Throughout her life, she tried to run from the shadows, always running to be in the light were she could keep an eye on the shadows. Unbeknown to her, the shadows were always there, right behind her, attached to her like a starfish to a rock.

Over time they leisurely engulfed her.
She did not even notice...
Slowly the colour faded from her world...

It felt like the shadows were running into her like a stripped faucet with water running into a sink. She could not stop it. The water rose and began to spill over the sink’s rounded edge. She could not breathe. And then it happened, the shadows were finally drowning her.  She tried desperately to reach for the surface, gasping for air, but the shadows were pulling her down into the abyss. “Don’t fight it” they whispered sweetly in her ear, caressing her soul. She started to panic. The more she fought the shadows, the heavier they became until she did not know where the shadows ended and she began...