I didn’t drown cause my eyes was closed
I didn’t drown cause I allowed water into my nose
I didn’t drown cause I froze my lungs
I didn’t drown cause of the sad songs I’ve sung
I didn’t drown cause I was too deep in the ground
I didn’t drown cause I didn’t make a sound
I didn’t drown cause I used all my oxygen to sink to the bottom
I didn’t drown cause the world wasn’t fairyland and blossoms
I didn’t drown cause I licked the water off my lips
I didn't drown cause I lost my grip
I didn’t drown cause my mouth was filled with saltwater
I didn’t drown cause I couldn’t hold my breath longer
I didn’t drown cause I didn’t take the bridge
I didn’t drown cause I chose to keep swimming after seeing the dead bodies in the ditch
I didn’t drown cause I swam back to the sharks
that left me with many open marks
I didn’t drown cause I didn’t untie the block around my ankle
I didn’t drown cause I wasn’t a perfect angel
I drown in my depression i drown in my anger I drown in my own demons I drown in my own tears I drowned swimming in other people’s sea of expectations.
So that’s why I’m no longer here...

Nik
Drown me in the memory
Of your touch
On my body

Drown me in the memory
Of when it was a yes
Not a no

Drown me in the memory
Of being high
In your arms
With lovely kisses

Because I don't wanna drown
In the memories I have

I no longer wanna drown in the memory of
Your arm around my neck
And your leg between mine
Forcing submission
Without permission

I no longer wanna drown in the memory of
My nails digging into
The back of your hand
Doing anything I can
To remove it from behind

I no longer wanna drown in the memory of
The emotionless expression
And lack of remorse
When you look at me as I lay
Hitting myself and screaming
Mentally in too much pain
As you never even said
"I'm sorry"

Monster
Drown me in the memory
Of when you were gone
And I was free to just
Be me

Drown me in the memory
Of all days I was away
At a friends place
Or camping peacefully

Drown me in the memory
Of when all you did was yell
And hit me
But never said you love me

Because I don't wanna drown
In the memories I have

I no longer wanna drown in the memory of
All the nights I lay awake in wait
Waiting for you to come in
And use me as you please

I no longer wanna drown in the memory of
All the times I'd avoid the shower
Because when I didn't
You had to come with

I no longer wanna drown in the memory of
All the times you'd ask me
To come watch a movie
Because that wasn't all it was

Zeke
Drown me in the thought
Of meeting you again
And being happy
That you know me

Drown me in the thought
Of the movie theater
And hoping no one sees
As you mess around with me

Drown me in the thought
Of sneaking glances
And passionate kisses
Full of love

Because I don't wanna drown
In the memories I have

I no longer wanna drown in the memory of
My no's going unheard
And never noticed
As I push you back

I no longer wanna drown in the memory of
The pain as you forced your way
Inside of me
Into places I never wanted you to be

I no longer wanna drown in the memory of
When I told you what happened
And all you said was
I'm sorry but that was a long time ago
And I never even heard you

To everyone else
Who ever touched me
When I never said yes
And even said no

LEAVE MY MEMORY
And please
Just let me
Live in peace

I
trembling fingers write
with every emotion 
lied to myself again tonight
not another day to waste
meanings start to blur
in the in-betweens 
of music heard with me
now musings for another

now is this the most fun
you had in your life
wasted youth, everyday
nooses and strings
nothing gets through you

-
nothing else matters
like another lie you tell yourself
tonight, like every night
you drown yourself in hate
you drown, you are never found 
you drown yourself in hate

II
now isn't it the most fun
you had two weeks in
stomping on the ground
on which i have weeded out
all the mistakes myself
to blame you 
marching on the love i had
i found with you

every word is a mistake
every chance is a let down to myself
every memory is unforgiving
eat your words and spit out new mistakes
you drown yourself in hate

-
nothing else matters
like another lie you tell yourself
tonight, like every night
you drown yourself in hate
you drown, you are never found 
you drown yourself in hate

III
try and fix yourself
set yourself apart from the world
did you find what you were looking for?
did you gain the world instead?
you live with all but no regrets
but in the end, you see the truth

you are what you hate in yourself
you drown yourself in hate
in lies, in guilt you drown
you are all that i hated in me
you were all that i loved

-
nothing else matters
like another lie you tell yourself
tonight, like every night
you drown yourself in hate
you drown, you are never found 
you drown yourself in hate
you drown yourself in hate

today i’ll wake up and see the sun
set apart my soul from what was
the ghost you left with me
you drown, you are never found
you drown yourself in hate
you drown yourself in hate

Drown me in love,
Drown me in music
Let the melody
Carry me
Away.

Drown me
In paper valentines,
Drown me in USB drives
Filled with your music.

Drown me in heartfelt apologies,
Drown me in "I miss you's" and "I love you more's".

I want to inhale
Exhale
Inhale
Exhale
And I want my oxygen
To be replaced
With love for you.

Drown me in love
In kisses,
In loving embraces.

You are the light
Within the darkest nights
I've found.

Drown Drown Drown
racism and sexism and discrimination
   and cancer and **** and abduction
        and cutting and suicide and drugs
               and broken hearts and torn souls
                      and ripped families and terrorists
                            just Drown Drown Drown

Drown till I can't see you no more
Drown without a sound
Drown Drown Drown

Please... Please... PLEASE...

before it Drowns Drowns Drowns me.

I
GRANDFATHER sang it under the gallows:
" Hear, gentlemen, ladies, and all mankind:
Money is good and a girl might be better.
But good strong blows are delights to the mind.'
There, standing on the catt,
He sang it from his heart.
Those fanatics all that we do would undo;
Down the fanatic, down the clown;
Down, down, hammer them down,
Down to the tune of O'Donnell Abu.
"A girl I had, but she followed another,
Money I had, and it went in the night,
Strong drink I had, and it brought me to sorrow,
But a good strong cause and blows are delight.'
All there caught up the tune:
"On, on, my darling man'.
Those fanatics all that we do would undo;
Down the fanatic, down the clown;
Down, down, hammer them down,
Down to the tune of O'Donnell Abu.
"Money is good and a girl might be better,
No matter what happens and who takes the fall,
But a good strong cause' -- the rope gave a **** there,
No more sang he, for his throat was too small;
But he kicked before he died,
He did it out of pride.
Those fanatics all that we do would undo;
Down the fanatic, down the clown;
Down, down, hammer them down,
Down to the tune of O'Donnell Abu.

II
Justify all those renowned generations;
They left their bodies to fatten the wolves,
They left their homesteads to fatten the foxes,
Fled to far countries, or sheltered themselves
In cavem, crevice, hole,
Defending Ireland's soul.
"Drown all the dogs,' said the fierce young woman,
"They killed my goose and a cat.
Drown, drown in the water-but,
<1Drown all the dogs,' said the fierce young woman.
Justify all those renowned generations,
Justify all that have sunk in their blood,
Justify all that have died on the scaffold,
Justify all that have fled, that have stood,
Stood or have marched the night long
Singing, singing a song.
"Drown all the dogs,' said the fierce young woman.
"They killed my goose and a cat.
Drown, drown in the water-****,
Drown all the dogs,' said the fierce young woman.
Fail, and that history turns into *******,
All that great past to a trouble of fools;
Those that come after shall mock at O'Donnell,
Mock at the memory of both O'Neills,
Mock Emmet, mock Parnell:
All the renown that fell.
"Drown all the dogs,' said the fierce young woman,
"They killed my goose and a cat.
Drown, drown in the water-****,
Drown all the dogs,' said the fierce young woman.

III
The soldier takes pride in saluting his Captain,
The devotee proffers a knee to his Lord,
Some back a mare thrown from a thoroughbred,
Troy backed its Helen; Troy died and adored;
Great nations blossom above;
A slave bows down to a slave.
Who'd care to dig em,' said the old, old man,
"Those six feet marked in chalk?
Much I talk, more I walk;
Time I were buried,' said the old, old man.
When nations are empty up there at the top,
When order has weakened or faction is strong,
Time for us all to pick out a good tune,
Take to the roads and go marching along.
March, march -- How does it run? --
O any old words to a tune.
"Who'd care to dig 'em,' said the old, old man,
'Those six feet marked in chalk?
Much I talk, more I walk;
Time I were buried,' said the old, old man.
Soldiers take pride in saluting their Captain,
Where are the captains that govetn mankind?
What happens a tree that has nothing within it?
O marching wind, O a blast of the wind.
Marching, marching along.
March, march, lift up the song:
"Who'd care to dig 'em,' said the old, old man.
"Those six feet marked in chalk?
Much I talk, more I walk;
Time I were buried,' said the old, old man.

i heard a girl once say,
if i could
i would drown
in poetry.
i would throw myself
into a sea of verses
and sink in splendor.
oh, no, i thought -

no you wouldn't.

if there was a sea of poetry
the coasts would be ringed with barbed-wire
and electric fences,
and signs that yelled warning
keep out
undertow
and swim on risk of death -
the beach would be littered with broken glass
from all the drunks that took their last drink
on the edge of a stanza.
the water would be turbulent
and *****
and cold,
and you might admire it one twilight,
when the sun is drowning and turning the sea
red,
and you'd say, oh
that's beautiful.
and you'd take a photo of yourself
grinning with the sunset at your back
and leave.

i heard a boy once say,
if i could
i would drown in your poetry.
oh, no, i thought.
no you wouldn't.
why is drowning such a common theme
in the minds
of readers of poetry?
i imagine it seems
romantic,
in some twisted morbid way -
but i think seeing a bloated corpse
pallid with seawater
missing a limb
or two
would put these delusions to rest.
i imagine seeing
the corpse of a poet
missing a heart
or mind
would put these delusions to rest.

you don't want to drown in poetry.

you want to watch me drown.

i heard a boy once say
if i could
i would drown in your poetry.
so says the boy who calls himself an artist
because he can play
'hey soul sister'
on guitar
and will prove it every chance he gets.
you don't want to drown in my poetry,
and even if you did
i doubt you could -
if poetry was bodies of water
you would throw yourself into a hotel swimming pool
miles away from the polluted lake
where i wash in stagnant water.
if poetry was bodies of water
you'd have someone build a koi pond in your backyard
and call yourself a poet.
if i could
i would drown in your poetry,
he said
and i told him to prove it.

if i could
i would drown in poetry,
she said.

the only people who say
they want to drown in poetry
are the people who don't know what it means.

the only people who drown in poetry
are the people who have no choice.

Let me drown with codes
Like it's the only language I know
Colorful paragraphs
Tab within a tab

Let me drown with installation windows
Full of "Next" buttons
To click
And wait

Let me drown with email, online and phone supports
Along with "How can one person be so stupid?" questions
And curses to bossy clients
With evil wishes of their servers' deaths

Let me drown with corny jokes
Thrown to friends to make them laugh more
Pretending that there's nothing wrong
'Cause I'm the joker - I'm the clown

Let me drown with songs
From a noise-cancelling earphone
Full of memories
Of where I want to be

Let me drown with poem ideas
Unwritten words so vast
Crowded in the back of my head
Shouting when everything around me is silent

Let me drown with other things
So that I do not drown
With my own tears
Because, now, you're gone

Drown out the silence
The snakes come whispering
Slithering
Drown it out with the noise
Tiny quiet close and loud
Drown out the words
The snakes
Hide very still hearing the silence
Imagine the noise to drown the snakes
A wave of sound drowning
I drown in the silence and see
Imagine
The snakes as they drown
They are still here
Creeping in through the cracks of quiet noise
What do the snakes say
They say nothing nothing
It all means something
No noise messages
The silence hurts but the words hurt more
What heart do the snakes have it is all gone only cruel carved stone
What heart do i have it is gone torn apart into silence
Let the tears come
Slow like the thunder
Quiet like the eye of a storm
Loud as the screams I hear
The screams that are mine
As i try to drown out the silence
Scream scream but only I can hear

The snakes still live but protect me not harm me
They surround me like a living shield
And i begin to be proud of them
In my green glowing underwater haven
They whisper but i cannot hear
I  don't need to
Most are gone and the few that remain
I know where they come from and who to blame
For the fact they have to stay
Slithering whispering
Drowned out by the lake
Not my snakes but anothers words
In the guise of my symbol
The sorcery comes from my mothers words
Slippery sliding
Venom from a saviour
Like a traitor
Rats squeak
Scurry
Scatter
For snakes eat rats and they protect me
Rats and words
Words and rats
My snakes protect me
Her cats protect her
And then there is the mouse queen
Almost all good but gets nothing done
Doesn't know of the rats of her right hand man
Voice uses them
Betrayers
Do no good

i start to wonder what should i do with myself. there are  lot of things needed to be done, and i’m swimming on top of the ocean of responsibilities, almost drowning actually. i don’t know how to get out of the ocean- i see people, yet i see not a single soul. they are all swimming freely, and here i am, struggling to even breathe. i was asked to swim to the shore, but how do i swim, when i can’t even breathe? i want to drown, it’s easier to drown and abandon everything away. every night, i cry, yet i don’t scream because i don’t need help in something as simple as swimming to the shore.

it’s easier to drown. it’s easier to drown and die, so i won’t be able to breathe again. i should drown. instead of weeping around, i should choke myself, drown, to the bottom of the ocean. i wish i could disappear. i wish no one would notice i disappear. i’m just a useless anchor bringing everyone down. i want to die. isn’t it easier if i die?

i want to drown. but the people i see are asking if i’m able to swim to the shore. i don’t need raft, i don’t need lifeguard. i can swim, so i don’t need them. i just want to be able to breathe, anyways. i can see people around me are ready to help, ready to throw me a float, and ready to teach me swim. all i have to do is to scream help. i know they’re good people. i know they’re sincere about wanting to help me. i know, i know that.

but how do i even scream? i forgot how to scream. i’ve been drifting on this ocean for long enough, i’ve been trying to breathe by myself, that i forgot i have the option to seek help. i want their help, yet i don’t know how. they’re all worried- they want me to reach the shore. what should i do? i’m barely breathing, i’m barely swimming. i’m barely living, so what do i do? i want their help, but i don’t know how to. what should i do?

i continue to breathe above the ocean. i could feel the cold water beneath me, inviting me to go deep down the ocean. it’s easier if i could just release myself and drown, but then i can imagine how sad and regretful the people will be. i don’t want that. i want them to just forget about me, so i can drown easily.

isn’t it easier if i just drown myself?
in this night, where no one can see me drown myself?

isn’t it easier if i die?

isn’t it easier if i **** myself?

Drink drown,
Drink drown,
Drink til the last drop goes down.
Drink til the last sound,
Is just.
Drink. Drown.

Drink til your organs melt,
It will hurt like a belt,
Over your drippy crucked spine,
Until the last yelp is mine.
Until you get a sign, that says:
Drink. Drown.

Drink. Drown.
The noises swirl
Throughout the town,
Come to rest beneath the well
Beyond the ringing of the knell.
Worry on your brow; a crown
Of drink, drink, drown.

Drown, drink.
Your throat is pink
From all the gin and swearing.
Your glaring mother’s eyes are staring
Through some sort of hate, you think;
So you drink, drown, drink.

Drown drink.
Makes me think,
It makes me even sick,
When your head's down,
Running around,
Yelling
Screaming
Sobbing
Just
Drink drown drown.

U.D. Muir

you will drown, you will drown
you will drown
and i only like you for the taste
of blood in my mouth

you will drown me, you will drown me
you will drown me
and she sees it, too
the way you **** me under your skin

oh, darling, you're gonna burn
i'm already burning;
i think it's time you joined me,
searing sunlight smiles sparkling, laced

with plasma, ichor,
these white teeth take a bite
and i remember you're mortal
for the copper tang on my tongue

i only like you for the taste of blood in my mouth
i only like you for the taste of blood in my mouth
i only like you for the taste of...
there is no taste to describe the feeling of falling in love

i wish i could lie to myself better,
maybe it'd make me more convincing
when you tell me you love me
and i say i don't love you at all