My chest feels tight as a blindfold
wrapped around my eyes, and
when did it get so hot in here?
Turn down the heat, someone, please
get me a glass of water and a bucket,
my stomach is turning,
I feel like throwing up.
Count: one, two, three, four
my heart races, my breath comes
hitched as the sound of pattering rain
outside, where the wind whistles
like the ringing in my ears.

Am I the only one awake?

I am dizzy
                                                          ­                 Dizzy from despair
                                  *I am tired
Tired of despair
                                                         ­  I cry

I am full
                                                           ­                Full of loneliness
                                  I am sick
Sick of loneliness
                                                      ­     I cry

I look happy
                        But really
                                           I am not
                                                           I cry

Feeling dizzy all day
ever since the night you called me crying
ever since you've been gone
I've been a mess
I can't see straight
Im falling on the floor
*I cant take this anymore

My throat is a desert,
Scratched sore with sand.
My cheeks soaked and stained,
With tears that will not end.

My heart faintly beating,
Each pump proves a test.
It hurts to go on living,
Yet life continues in my chest.

My nights are sleepless,
My days a misty haze.
I feel so lost without you,
Each day an endless maze.

I search for all the words,
Though never even said.
They are mixed and jumbled,
All around inside my head.

Each day I face this war,
Between remember and forget.
It weighs me down, this endless chore,
I wake each morning with regret.

They say time is the only way to heal,
Fresh cuts soon fade to scars.
So why does this pain I feel,
Still leave me dizzy, seeing stars.

Without an end
in a circle
round and round
getting dizzy

without a begin
in a circle
round and round
getting dizzy

without a limit
in a circle
round and round
getting dizzy

~ The Universe

We kissed under moon  .  .  .
Pox of stars grew flowering,
  .  .  .  Nightshade of her lips.

She was the kind of girl
Worth dancing with
     In the middle of the living room
To the music
Of late night television.

She was the kind of girl
Who made the sky dizzy
     Whenever it looked down at her
Because she was
More vast than the sea.

She was the kind of girl
You wanted to kiss
     In each and every snow drift
Because her lips
Were warmer than any jacket.

She was the kind of girl
Who held you at night
     And whose arms lingered
Because when she was gone
You still felt her around you.

She was the kind of girl
People drag themselves
     From their beds and walk to work
Because they needed to care
For a necessity like her.

She was the kind of girl
Who made you trip over
     Words you wished were nearly as lovely as her,
Because she was the embodiment
Of all you ever wanted to say

To swoon the stars and put the moon in your back pocket.

your words are like pills
i swallow them one by one
sometimes all at once
they scratch down my throat
settle in my body
and disappear
like magic
but it’s only science
i am left in a state of dizziness
they cloud my vision
and numb my pain
so will you please
please speak softly
let me swallow
one last dose

It started with a phone call.

Sweat drips down my forehead
my mind is jumbled
my
pulse races
irr  e  gu  l  a  rl  y
and my heart is
its competitor.

The room feels smaller
and the faces around me
b
l
u
r
into nothing.

What is happening?
Why can’t I breathe?

I can’t stand up right,
my palms too sweaty
to grasp
the
nearest
surface.

It started with a phone call,
and it ended with a hard
crash
to the floor.

I go in circles of self love to self loathing
I go in circles of I love her, I love her not
I go in circles of I'm straight, I'm gay
I can feel my life cycling slowly as if it were going down the drain.
I go in circles of happiness and depression
I go in circles of I can do this, no I can't
I go in circles of being too full and starving
My life is cycling like a bike up an unknown path
And I know at the top of this path, at the bottom of this drain I might find something worth living for
But right now I feel dizzy from all of these circles