All but a day left,

My last chance,

Come back to me;
                          
                     oh sweet soul

Green night in the middle of the day…
Fire rising to ****** the moon,
Uncle Sam’s praying in my room
And the 8-ball will not say

Why a woman holds a gun
To her husband’s sleeping head;
Does she play or just wish him dead?
An armadillo’s included for fun.

Uncle Sam’s lost his hat in the fire
Maybe that’s why he’s praying.
Not for the country he should be saving
While we are conquered by liars.

I’ve tried to make sense of this before:
Masked fiddlers strum in the conflagration,
Dead books, butterflies and chimps run the nation,
…there is luggage on the floor.

Should I run from the scene,
Or stay and try to fight?
I can’t read my books in the deepening night
And there’s a skull waiting just to scream.

The man sleeps on with a gun at his head
And I see another skull by his side.
It must be a sign saying: “run and hide”.
But why can’t I do it?
There’s no way to get through it,
But I must wake up and fight or I’m dead.

June 1, 2006

A day is coming
when you will be
on your last day
no time to flee
your entire life
ready to be sealed
packaged for the day
it will be revealed
to the whole world
each choice shown
you will reap whatever
seeds you have sown.

The trees are a kaleidoscope of the green  
rivets of sunshine peak through the canopy of leaves
as the light flows to the forest floor.
Vines wrap their arms around the trunks of the trees
climbing to reach the sun
Each desperately fighting for the just a piece of the warm glow
Robins, swallows, and Cardinals all sing their songs
as they glide from branch to branch
filling the woods with their symphonies.
A fox dashes across a steady stream
leaping over rocks and fallen logs
making his way home again.

I have always felt
Sleep is one step away from death.
So if that is so...
We come so close to death every night.
Is that why I love sleep so much?
But sleep helps bring us life for the next day.
It brings dreams.
And lets us think.
So is sleep bad or good?
We may never know

Today was a quiet day
The first in awhile
I slept a long, dreamless
Shapeless sleep
And was not roused by panic
Nor need
Hardly a word was spoken
Or a face recognized
And I felt profoundly alone
As I retreated into
My beloved solitude
-
Goodnight, my dear quiet day
May we meet again
In some extraordinary way

Sometimes I can't put down my thoughts the way I wish I could
I feel like my head is blocking my words from escaping
Like it's too hard to express my real feelings anyway
this is normal
I begin to think my life is just so boring and uninteresting that I don't have anything to say
but I have moments where I take a deep breath and let it go slowly and think to myself
"I know I'm just depressed"
and that feeling is hopeless
and I feel helpless
I'll look at my reflection and think to myself
"What am I supposed to do?
Everyday isn't a bad day.
Even if it's not really a good one either."

Here I am
Where am I?
I stare at you
You stare at me

I see you speak
But hear nothing
My mind wanders
I hear some words

Birds are chirping
Why am I hungry?
I just ate lunch
Is the Earth calling me?

Phones are ringing
Tweets are tweeting
Are you ok?
Are you paying attention?

I nod my head
But heard nothing
You look apeased
My goal is accomplished

This is the other side of sanity!
I think to myself,
a riddle in the middle of chastity, vanity?
what is it that I have to say?
Is this not another day or is it a play?
Vaguely we are tossed into this
post hence I have seen the other side-
this day with you...this day that never came.
I will not be able to tell the difference of pleasure
or pain.

I am still lost dreaming on to the memory,
you stood there in the middle of high school square
doe-eyes intent, hidden behind you're intense
endless hidden truth, your boyish youth.

A dream of gazing into those eyes some day,
I never wanted to say goodbye or go away,
this world carried me to the "other side" and it was
"too late," I was unable to "succeed." Who am I
to seek this "other side?" In the sky?
What we never do? Call this "side" what you will,
but in the end I would have gladly battled madly
through hell for a chance to share your world with you.

Oh, here I go again, blithering sadness, sad poem!
Look to the skies when you're alone, then maybe
on the clearest of nights when this whole world
they've built of stone is gone you will finally find out
how beautiful you are so.
Even if I never got to see you understand this or
spend another day with(out) you...you are all
I can't get off my mind no matter how hard I try
I will continue to see you can't forget you
Even in my wildest