I need touch
but not of any kind.
I need the gentle one
filled with tenderness and love.
It is so hard to tell
for it means admitting
the ache in my chest
clenching tight.
I need to let myself feel it.
I don't want to get numb,
not again.

I feel so vulnerable.
Fragile.
Like porcellain.
Lying still in silence,
calmly crying tears.
They carry my hurt,
my loneliness.
At the same time
they carry the knowledge
that I am indeed
loved.

I am scared,
scared that by telling this
you are going to let me
slip.
A fragile child
shattering on the ground.
Rejected once again,
old scars reopening.
It's too much to bear.
It just hurts so much.
Rejected,
lonely once more.

So if i reach out for you
please don't freak out,
I'm not in love
nor am I a stalker
but a part of me is hurting
and i want it to heal.

I need touch,
a tender caress,
the warmth of skin
so comforting.
Please hold me close,
don't let go.
I feel so exposed,
nothing left to hide behind.

Please don't turn away,
I'm standing here,
so insecure,
soul stripped of all armor.

And I'm scared.

i sit here
with a heart that is
burning
it's burning fiendishly
for acceptance
and love
for happiness
and a future
and you're a carrier of water
just like me
but you don't extinguish my fire
instead
you pour alcohol on it
and then you leave
me

mining liquid ice, cream vanilla something
at dawn, sugar, fat, whipped smoke rising hope
better than hate at breakfast, face etched snarling
a circuit ******, roll and tub down *****
slippery, thumbed a feast of biscuit crumbs
off a plate, table and at feet. Arrived
at loathing a choir rabid, sings morning.

For the past eternity
My mind exists out of two things
I disgust you
And I want you really bad
Maybe it's the difference between
Mental and Physical
I hate your personality
I want your body
Sounds logical
But for the past eternity
I'm craving both

if you are a poet,
come join me with your knowledge,
come touch the godly kingdom of deities,
both with perception and curiosity,
I will imbue a world of progression,
you will reach the highest peak,
touch me with your words and pain,
dress me with your cravings, more,
if you are a poet, show me the nature of your being, love,
show me the colours of your infinite meaning, pain,
words scattered by your soul, heart,
up in the accents of profound delight,
paradise of butterflies.

you had a way of making me love you and hate you
all at the same time
i hate the way you made me love you
but i love the way you made me fall in love

Desire is delicious
It's the lingering taste upon
my tongue
it's the exsquisite pleasure
of tasting something so delicious
It leaves the trace upon a soul
It leaves you wanting needing more
That temptation to try only a bite
Yet it leaves you craving that tingling
tasteful delightful feeling you get
when you get a little more
You can't have a little
you got to have it once more
So what's your desire so delicious
that leaves you craving more
© Jennifer Delong 2/19