They first appear
With two clicks of my lamp
I invite the darkness seeping from my windows
Covered in a lazy blanket
I lay on my side, watching the lifeless room
Restless, but all the same exhausted

From the ***** laundry and the memories I keep
One stares harmlessly
My lungs began screaming and wheezing
My heart and brain nearly fried
My muscles frozen in sweat

One easily becomes many
Soon, every corner of my room glares back at me
I press my eyes close and pray for sleep
But their hot breath runs down my neck
And peels my eyelids apart, squeezing my chest
Forcing out a stuttering sigh
I have no choice

Click click
My lamp peirces through each monster
Until I can fight them on my own

If only I had woke up sooner
I feel like my life can be sung by worn crooner
I have shut my eyes to most events and tried to escape
Everyone has left and made my heart and soul have a huge gape
I dream of what could have been , should have been
I could have opened my eyes and got up and done something but fear held me down but no one understands what I mean
It's hard to do the right thing when you're afraid of losing all you have
I've in the end lost all I gave
It's my fault for not knowing when
I still need help time and time again
The battle still wages and no one wins

Nobody knows
Thus nobody cares
So I sit alone
And everyone stares
Silence is deafening
It says much more
Than the words I keep in
My mind at war

-AJT

Want you to spend the night with me
While we are still young and have the chance
To enjoy eachother, I just need you,
No useless emotions or insincere romance.

All I long for; your skin against mine,
Found everything I was looking for
In your embrace, in your kiss,
Promise I won't ask for more.

I do not know what it is you do
To bring my smile each day,
I love it. I find myself
Wondering how long you are going to stay.

I know you shouldn't be on my mind,
What else do I have to think about?
That will not bring me down when it's late at night
And stars are starting to come out.

Think feelings are beginning to bulge,
We both agreed not to cross that line,
I am afraid of getting too attatched
Because I'm certain you will never be  mine.

Your morning face is so pretty
That puffiness in your eyes
That little naive smile

And when you look at me
You make it seem so gentle
So wild but tender

It's not just obsession
It's not love
It's a taste –from heaven above

This is one love song
And I can write a million more for you
Because you're here to hear my truth

Champagne, pretty ugly laughter
I put on my dress you've never seen
Love how you're always too keen

You let me cry
I pour all my emotions in your hand
You sieve them –so easy —just like sand

In your eyes, who am I ?
A friend, a brother or just a passer-by

Is there someone you want me to replace?
Or im here just to fill up your empty space.

Im afraid, I will just be treated the same
As if this was a role playing game

I don't have the courage to confess
As im scared that you will not say 'yes'

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm blinded
But I love you, and that's what I have decided

Right now,

The mind flutters.
The body clutters in emotions.
In motion.
Trying to sip on a potion
While staying in devotion to something.......
I try to be it all, yet I cant control this
This
THIS ——- flutter

Yet, falling freely.
Seeing me be me.
Really,,,,,

I stay away
At bay. Yet fragment, moments, ideas
All collide into an explosion of the possibility.

And my mind flutters
Like a butterfly
Crashes like a falling airplane;
Freely, painfully
As I hold onto the railings on the bus. There is a single stop
I crash - again, again.... When, I say stop
Again -
Reality -  
A shattering crash.

And I flutter, more
More,
More.

Nothing will stop, nothing.
This fluttering flies away and I am left shaking

A wound
Is opened, in front of you
I want crash now. Because my explosion in front of you
Will hurt you
You will stay

Yet I think:
Please come (I flutter)

Please go —-

At the same time..

this generation
is afraid
of fire
tomorrow
and sadly
each other

how come we have
become accustomed to
appreciating the sound of your
breath
more
than our own?