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Autumn Lewis Apr 2019
You took away my smile
You always wanted to fight putting me on trial
You took my laugh
You were my better half
You gave me these memories , just to throw me away
What else can I say?
I can only hold on to your shadow, but what happens when the sun goes down?
You were my life preserver and now I'm going to drown
I could have lived my life trapped in your eyes
Now I see I'm the only one who really cried
I'm sorry I wasn't enough
Over time my love you began to *****
Once you were high on me
I brought you such glee
But no more
You closed that door
So with a heavy heart I say goodbye
It's time we spread our wings and begin to fly
Safe travels my love
I'll love you to infinity and above
Goodbye doesn't always mean forever
Autumn Lewis Sep 2018
The button glares it's hideous grin beckoning me to give it one good push
Start Over is plastered over it's red polish
Why is the button always red? I question
I am numbed my core rotten as I stick in my hands in to see if my heart still beats
Everything fades and my senses feel as though it is just an anesthetic
I try to see but all I know is this dream within my nightmare
The button grows further and further away
Will I be able to reach it in time?
I don't know...
This is my experience being high the first time and my general mind set right now
Autumn Lewis Sep 2018
I listen to the songs that once connected us together
And I begin to weeper
I also smile and jam out
New Found Glory to Bob Marley, they are amazing memories without a doubt
You hit my emotions with a heavy clout
I needed you but you needed someone else
My heart still melts
Like a warm puddle of water in your hands
Was this part of your plan?
I'm just confused
Autumn Lewis Sep 2018
I can't remember I don't understand November
I lost me in the wave of myself selfishness
I'm never me I'm always dismembered
If that makes sense? And now I have only feel pettishness
Autumn Lewis Sep 2018
I can't help but to fuse my soul with you
Even when I think of all the things we've put each other through
I hate who we are together but love the feeling
I'm so confused on my feeling...
Feeling of being loved , trapped , hurt , and healing

Why can't we always float away and stay up high on our cloud
Our very own cloud and the world passes us by
Whenever I think of it I cry
Please help me I need you ... I want you
But I don't want the pain and to see you at this view
I love you but I don't know anymore
To the one I want to float away with I love you always <3
Autumn Lewis Jun 2018
If only I had woke up sooner
I feel like my life can be sung by worn crooner
I have shut my eyes to most events and tried to escape
Everyone has left and made my heart and soul have a huge gape
I dream of what could have been , should have been
I could have opened my eyes and got up and done something but fear held me down but no one understands what I mean
It's hard to do the right thing when you're afraid of losing all you have
I've in the end lost all I gave
It's my fault for not knowing when
I still need help time and time again
The battle still wages and no one wins
Idk right now
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