Why did I convince myself that you love me the same way I love you?
Back at square one, I kneel on the floor and curl up into a ball of tears.
Why did you tell me you love me, you want to be with me, you want me?
Why did you reject me, why did you hurt me and encourage my fears?

How are you going to tell me you don’t know if I’ll still be into you in a month when I waited nine months for your phone call?
How is it I allowed you to come back into my life and replace all my progress with illogical fantasies that will never, ever occur?
How is it I still blame myself for your confusion, that I will still give you all of my love? ALL of it.

For all the tears I've shed because of you,
For all the nights my thoughts were spiraling because of you,
For all the months I've wasted on you,
For everything, after everything, for you.

I feel okay,
I feel good
And upside down
And right side up
I feel nice
And cool
And fine and like a jewel!

Maybe everything does happen for a reason
A reason that we can’t wait to know
Yeah, sometimes everything blows
And maybe you think you can’t live without a person
Even though your life with them probably worsened

But,
Look how good it is now!
Ok, yeah, so you might have a slight cough,
But you feel fine and like everything is alright.

And you try your best to be distracted
And not to think about the bad stuff
And you love and laugh
But a little more cautiously this time
And, okay, well I guess you don’t open up as easily anymore
Or say much about yourself to anyone, anymore
Or do anything with your friends, anymore
But that doesn’t stop you from smiling and shining
And it certainly won’t stop you from styling and dining
Or dialing and defining!

But right now I feel okay,
I feel fine and not in despair and I don’t want to cry
I’m not going to cry over someone that I treated right
That didn’t want what I had to offer
Because I deserve more
Than to just crawl to my floor
To lay like a corpse.

I feel okay,
I feel good
And upside down
And right side up
I feel nice
And cool
And fine and like a jewel!

Sure, it’s been months
And I know you won’t be back
But I can’t help but say,
I’ll still wait for you.

i gave you my everything, you were my everything
how am i supposed to get over you now
when i have nothing
and no one
and nowhere to go

I want to stop writing about you
And start writing about somebody new.

just think of us going up
up up and away
as far as your thoughts can bring you
astonishing, just the thought of your eyes
and im on top of the sky
the stars on a breezy night
and you leaving, scares me with a fright
now it's actually happened
no reason whatsoever
my god, you were my treasure
now i'm unsure of what to do now
now that you're no longer here now
and im crying everyday now
without you beside my side now
and i cant stop thinking about you
and i really just don't know what to do
without you

I know
you're a
bad
guy
but
I can't
get
myself
to
believe
it.

i stepped on glass
i stepped on glass,
tip toe to my next class.

heel aching,
heart broke
grunge old paper fold.

ink set out,
clearly the pioneer
best steer clear.

long, long far ago
the princess kissed a toad
diseases unload.

headline of the last page
the
      n
        d
dark like the black sage.

I'm listening to music
Trying my hardest not to lose it
I see your face
Unsure of whether to smile or cry
Though it's just a photo, or a couple
I don't wanna lie.

You weren't even mine,
Of course I feel out of line,
Even just one text from you
Makes me want to fall apart,
Doesn't matter what it is
You hurt my heart.

We were almost meant to be,
For three months, oh my god was I filled with glee!
But recently, it's all turned over.
So many disputes,
Arguments and less honest truths,
What happened to our original roots?

I really didn't want to have to write a poem about you,
But I didn't know what else to do.
We tried talking it out,
Nothing worked.
My apologies, yours too.
Yet your eyes continued to lurk.

I don't know what to do about us,
There were so many ideas discussed.
We always ask each other if we're okay,
If we weren't we'd say no and if we were we'd say "I think"
Yet sometimes I feel like
You'd get rid of me in a blink.

i wear hearts on my sleeve,
literally.
i engrave hearts onto my forearm,
blue shards of glass,
sharp scars along the trace of my skin.

i'm not going to ruin your chances of happiness
just because
i am
upset

they said, "it always gets better."
but
he was
my
"better"

I needed to know that you were there for me, and you weren't.

i tried to apologize
yet you had no care in your eyes,
i wished you took me more seriously,
than not at all.

i don't know why im writing about you,
you have no significance in my life,
only that i fantasized about you,
and how i'd the best wife.

we've only seen each other around,
never knew a single thing,
one conversation made you frown,
now it sounds like i cling.

i never would have texted you in the first place,
i was only jealous of a friend,
i was trying to show you who i am, who i want to embrace
instead i showed you a friendship to end.

maybe it's about time to start growing up
i didn't want feelings for you in the first place,
i knew it was never going to happen,
i don't even know you,
and now i never will

i always feel cold
maybe it's because i feel alone,
or my weaknesses often show

i try to cover up,
i feel like the withdrawal symptoms after an overdose on drugs.

i feel like im not enough,
i've just become
and already i need to shut up.

i try not to feel empty
but the emotion is anxious plenty

i really wish i had gotten a better start,
or if i just hadn't flirted
i wouldn't have seem perverted
i'm nowhere near perfect.

i tried for a new start
with a new person
who now wants nothing to do with me

now who am i supposed to say good morning to?
or wake up to a text saying i love you
where am i gonna find someone like you
i dont want anybody stealing you,
you're not even mine anymore
but it still hurts to know somebody else likes you
and i know this is for the best,
our split,
i know someone will treat you better than i could have ever treated you
and im sorry we werent meant to be
and im sorry for how much it pains me
and im sorry if you want to talk to me but ive been crying too much and i cant see
we both know someone better will come along for you
i just want no part of it
i dont want to see pictures of you two
holding hands,
having fun,
hugging,
kissing,
loving each other the way we used to
and im sorry if that's a problem
but i cant stand you being happy without me.

Your mom calls you an accident,
I call you regret.
You were supposed to be a divine sacrament,
But all you caused me is severe debt.
I wish you weren't around,
But I'm not allowed to say that to your face.
You are so **** hell bound.
What a waste of space.
You're the only daughter,
I wished to ever have,
You only prove that other girls are hotter,
Than in my day and age, they were only ave.
To me you have no value,
But believe what you want,
I'd leave your mom and you in an instant,
But that'd leave decades of haunt.

I have always wanted to be like you,
Yet I'm never enough,
It never fails to frustrate me,
I wish it's myself I love.

Knowing I can do better,
Be respected,
Form a trendsetter,
Feel connected,
Only can I imagine.
Somehow think that I'm an attraction.

I have always wanted to speak like you,
Yet my voice tortures,
It never fails to frustrate me,
Sounds like chanting from warriors.

Many have fallen asleep to yours,
Wish I knew how to do that,
It's not that you're a bore,
Just a soothing, calm chitchat.

I have always wanted to be you,
Yet I'm me,
Without your inspiration,
I wonder where I'd be.

She's so cute I see in it her lies,
A bundle of joy with wisdom in her eyes,
For every single love, she always ******* tries,
The boy shoots her down just because of her size.

She's so cute, even when she's upset,
Confident or not, she never breaks a sweat.
Her need for food always, we settle on anything but ****,
Everyone else is considered as a threat.

I am not paranoid, just protective,
Over my little girl,
My world.

Feeling disconnected from reality,
Feeling unaffiliated with religion,
Feeling unattached with your pure skin.

I know that you're out there,
Out there listening to my cries,
Listening to the pounding on my walls,
My unpleasant calls.

I hope you know the way my emotions tangle through my body,
I hope you can feel my revenge through the blood in your mouth,
I know you will forget the way you treated me and move on,
But baby, you're all I can think of even when you're gone.

I messed up and I wanna curl up in a ball and ******* sleep forever.

I ****** up, again. It plays over in my head, I'm laying in my bed, thinking about what was said.

I ****** up, again! This will never end, how many roses must I send, how much do I spend, I ****** up, A
                                                                ­ G
                                                                ­   A
                                                                ­     I
                                                               ­       N.

This has already been, pulling on my skin, wondering when, I **** up. Again.

Of course you did it!
Why didn't I believe it sooner?
You treated me like ****,
Do you treat her that way too? Or do you spoon her?
You better be feelin' that remorse,
It'll come your path,
But if it doesn't fit your course,
You know you'll feel the wrath.

I always knew that you weren't the one for me.
But the way you stared at me,
Cared for me,
Fooled me.

My heart- it was yours and yours only.
My soul, lonely.
You kept me waiting closely,
Reminiscing remotely.

You were my sunshine. Always there to wipe away my tears.
Your kindness blinds, erased all my fears.
Without your warm signs, I realized you wasted my years.

To you, I must've been only a vulnerable creature dying.
To you, I must've been an innocent friend crying.
To you, it must've felt like you weren't lying,

With the way you stared at me,
Cared for me,
Fooled me.

what was i expecting
what was i thinking
why would my ex keep me as a contact
why am i an actual idiot
why is that i remember everything about him,
    
       i have our first date ticket stub, still
             i remember the day i met him
                 the day i first started talking to him
                      where i talked to him
                          how i met him,
                            the day we started dating
                      the first time he said i love you
                           when we took a break
                     when we broke up
                his birthday.

I sleep,
Mind cluttered with thoughts of you.
Tears rolling gently down my cheeks, furiously away from my eyes.
Knowing that you don't think about me anymore,
The way you used to.

Rusty tools and broken boxes,
Silly fools and sly foxes,
The only one who really mocks is
You, and me, and our relationship.
We're somewhat compatible, complex but a fit
The way I want to feel your lips dance with my lips,
The way I want you to feel my heartbeat skip,
And my hands drift
How my heart rips,
When I want
You.

As much as he hurt me, I'd do it all over again.

I'm happier in the evening,
At night,
And in my sleep,
But without you by my side,
I curl up, and weep.
I love the way your face lights up,
I love the way you get when you try to act like a grown-up,
I love the way you get angry,
And the way you get when you're sad,
I love the way you cry,
And the way you get when you try to act bad.
I love the way you get when you're kissing my lips,
I love the way you get when you accidentally slip.
I love the way we met,
In that crazy grocery store,
I love the way you fret,
Too bad that you're a *****.

i wish i could stop messing up.
i wish i could start being enough.

Her eyes lit up like the fireflies that dance.
She has me yearning to beg another chance.
Her wild body moving side to side,
She leaves me in a silent stance.

Her arms so still, she wants another flight,
She wants to stay, just for one more night,
Her hair flows, like the whooshing wind runs,
She wouldn't dare to resign without causing a fight.

Her skin so soft like lavender oil,
My heart pumps and pumps, so much it boils,
Without her, who knows where I stand,
Only her personality is the one I would spoil.

Born without siblings,
I live by myself,
On top of these buildings,
I could prove to myself.

If I trip beneath my own feet,
Maybe it'll spread a message,
Instead of a life so sweet,
My feelings are of wreckage.

Lonely I feel,
So lonely I'd be,
If I could just stay and heal,
And visualize the future they see.

Your family yells and I wish I can help,
Your family beats but I still wish to meet,
Your family drinks and I still need to jinx,
You a better life.  
You don't deserve this,
You say you do, but you don't.  
Trust me, I won't stop saying this, I won't!  
I love you as a friend, you know I do
How can I make you believe me, what's new with you?
I need for you to understand, so you don't become a shrew,
Will you ever love me as I've loved you?

Your shapes are my colors,
and you don't understand,
Your eyes send me wonders,
Like a robot, I have you scanned.

Your voice booms like thunder,
You have everything pre-planned,
You sing like my mother,
So beautiful and grand.

I love you like no other,
Follow and take my hand,
I swear I'll show you colors,
As your shapes will understand.

Each day I gain a little more tiredness but today could be the day it stops.

What are YOU looking at?
Smack that ***,
Talk about sass.

Looking at me sweetheart?
Well *******, I'll only tear you apart.

You think you can change me?
We'll see about that,
You rearrange me?
What a dumb ****.

What else have you got to say for yourself?
Sexualizing women's bodies,
Your catcall can help **** oneself,
But it wouldn't be just your fault, it'd be everybody's.

You told me to kiss you, and I almost did.

My  d e p r e s s i o n  is like everybody else's, but not really.
I want to feel happy, play goofy, be silly!
But I can't, it doesn't work that way.
The way it works- My depression controls me.
Like an employee, I listen to my job,
Cut? No problem.
Drink? **** yeah.
**** myself? I've been thinking about it..
Without my depression, who could I listen to?
The angel who cheers me on, or the Devil that boos?
Speaking of which, I am D
                                        R
                     ­                    U
                                          N
                   ­                         K
on this *****.

My depression is like everybody else's, only sometimes.
Other times it's like, "Uh, uh, uh, you have to share! Or else you die."
Maybe not that dramatic, but the suffocating news of death really pushes you to cry.
My depression makes me D O things,
S
  A
    Y
things!
Things I don't want to say,
But.. My depression always finds a way.
My depression is my friend, not a very good one.
More like a fiend than a friend but I won't know the difference when a pull the trigger off a gun.

Loneliness comes in two forms,
Alone or together.
Feeling warm,
Or "under the weather".
How long have you been feeling under the weather?
Days, maybe weeks?
How long have you been wearing the knitted sweater?
The green one your grandma knits, the one as light as feather.
What is it that she seeks?
And you too, what are you looking for?
The reaction of daylight savings reducing one more hour of sleep?Evidence that global warming exists?
Why do you weep?
Show your wrists.

I'm not crying because of him, I'm crying because I'm not good enough for him.

Spilling the juice all over the floor,
Missing you each day more and more.

Listening to music- new and old
My decisions getting a bit more bold.

Shutting the door louder than usual,
My mind is starting to get delusional.

Loving you without a doubt,
Hate seeing you with other girls out and about.

Scrutinizing every mistake I write,
Only to view every poem I spite.

Luring the unknown into my room,
Chimney blows wind in with a bad fume.

Securing my own locks on doors so fragile,
My body always wanting to move so agile.

Leaving your life and entering his,
Wisdom hit but so did his fist.

Sobbing on the cold ground,
I wish I still had you around.

Listening on what to do - my friend’s advice,
Maybe I have to start trying more than twice.

Sending mixed signals and causing trouble,
Will only ever lead to a burst in the bubble.

Lacking thought or too many to count,
So many problems I have to dismount.

Serving my old yet new figure,
My body tired, and oh-so-bitter.

Latching on somebody to stay,
Words cannot explain my feelings at play.

Shouting loud but not loud enough,
My brain's gone into a severe slough.

Crying for extreme help,
I cannot do this by myself.