tired, so tired
open awakening sigh
breathe in the present

colors captivate
I never knew just how full
life could really be

There is no method
enveloped within chaos
mirrorless knowing

Can one utter another's truth? Can words really convey even the sense? These words will not satisfy the mind in it's quest. It burns in loops attempting to figure out something it wasn't designed to comprehend. Underneath these layers there is a feeling, that is where it speaks like prose.

Freckles in the sky
Woven landscape sewn of Self
Never had edges

Go in the blackhole
Come out the other side, and
tell me what you find

Your self-worth quizzing
the Unquantifiable
cannot fit the box.

Refuse to linger
Sitting tears not of my own
Suffering won't suit

I live life in the creases of subtlety
where suddenly in the folds my senses are evoked
sailing into the softness of my new world
the undercurrent gently carries me along.

There is no taming the arduous mentality
Triumphant in it's self-inflicted battle
You cannot free the mind from the mind.

Gripping to echoes
Softly cradling ashes
Of nothing but dirt.

Drowning; no conflict
Submerged and surrendered depth
No thing left to lose

Gliding in return
in the world not of the world
dynamic movement

Raising rough restrains
raw rejoicing rejection
rinsed released relief

Swallow tearless tears
No subject to be grieving
Enigmatic form

Drinking the air
of the cool night
crisp clarity dripping
down the forefront

Sandcastles dissolve
Edge of the shoreline showers
My waves clear the way

I've run out of words

Satiated in
my Self. Drenched with awareness
entirely quenched

Rip me at the seams
Shaking at the core, what's true?
Burst me wide open.

Fuzzy
white noise landscape
drifting in a new direction
where form has not yet landed
floating my way through my own blackhole
as it pulls me into my Self

I'm disappearing
Gone into my endless void
Reaching in myself

It feels as though I'm
going to POP right out of
my skin. I breathe in.

Anxious doubtful change
               You cannot reason with me
                     Can I make it through?

Here we are again..
Growing tired of this space
Toss me in the pit

I have given up!
But do not be mistaken,
I submit to me.

Falling into me
Descending beyond madness
Feel what's really here.

Day invigorates
Night falls in oblivion
Sleepily Succumb

My trepidation
Meeting eradication
Surrender to me

Where am I, darling?
For I do not recognize
My face anymore

Relax into the pain
Fear pushes me further in
Darkness is a friend

All meaning evades
her, value terminated
What is left for me?

To have company?
Or face this head-on alone?
Torn up regardless.

I cannot manage
My dictatorship has ceased
I allow truth now

Angry tear stained face
re-*******-lentless mourning
When will I see it?

There is nothing here
She is torn apart in flames
What lies beyond death?

Endlessly alone
What to do now that I'm here
I cannot foresee

It's all too quiet
the captivating beckon
Now drowns in stillness

Eating my insides
This doorway is such a strain
Only I can let go

I want to trace
 your edges
 feel your concaves
where skin hugs the 
 boarders of your physicality 
Collapsing into this warm embrace 
 I Am here, and nothing else matters 
This moment cannot be refabricated
So I cherish
 as this texture 
 engulfes my very being 
Sliding through me, 
 wave after wave 
 Soft tremors radiating my core
 quivering as my valleys
 press tightly against your crest
Penetrating deep beneath the surface 
 my sea has no bottom. 
Building creative tension 
 Gripping the remaining foundation 
 Ceaseless crescendo
All boundaries crumble;
  Where do you end, 
  Where do I begin?

Claustrophobic
Cockroaches in corners
Concrete slabs
Clutching, cloaking, choking

Confined and
Constrained of a
Counterfeit life, I was the perfect
Charlatan of my encompassing separation.

Compelled into Self, oh yet
Cumbersome conditioning
Cultivating awareness within
Concentrated compression. I,

Cave!
Capitulation. Cannot withstand these
Currents of clouded
Compensation.

Comfortable in this
Chaos, as I've finally
Concluded: It comprises all of me.
Completely void

Contently
Containing nothing,
Clear from attached perceptions
Captivating Silence.

Come through me
Crawl into my
Caverns
Crash unto my shore

Caressing sensuality
       Continuously
Cascading        down, down, down
Composing my entirety.

Noisy
  Mind Looping
Looking for its way out
As it feeds on a drama
This is not even mine.

Deep breath.
  A pause.
Some clarity.
  The mind fights.
I'm still here.
In my point of presence.
  Come home.
         We are here now.

It will wash away.
  The waves cleanse
As they reverse away from the coast
the undercurrent pulls
  back
into me.

I AM beholden to no one.
  I AM unto my own.
  I AM here for me.
  As the separation fades.
  I can see.

you're thinking too ******* much

Death
   but no release
Empty again
  in ever more ways
But it's okay
  Don't be sorry
It's here for me
And I'm not suffering
  Something is happening here
A deeper change
    It brings me into a depth
     a stillness
Can I accept it?
  Am I ready?
    I'm allowing the change.
      cling to nothing.
When I'm silent
    it speaks.
Open up
         Listen.
   It doesn't make sense
But I don't care anymore
   It's just an experience
     in the midst of realization.
I am here
  it can serve me.
It's unpleasant now
  as I breathe my way through
But I can be in grace
as I go beyond
and see another view.

Soft Forgotten Whisper
Caressing the corners of
my truth
Stirring a sweet and gentle remembrance
It goes beyond thought,
mental comprehension,
but a solid knowingness pervades
in the tender sounds of silence
when I allow myself through
the thick façade barricades
that, at times, appear so automatic.
They dissolve, of course
with a sticky residue intact
But that sense seems to grow
Beckoning me with permeating tranquility
Stillness
Radiance
It comes to me, without seeking
I Am here;
I Am home.
Distractions attempt to evade,
through this
I realize
the knowingness does not wane,
steady silent presence
Continuous composure
In awareness.
No thing to grasp ahold
Swimming in serene emptiness
Relaxed into my creation.

Hard lines, sharp edges
would like to wash the harshness away
My maturity nudges me to stay
to breathe and
face these aspects
You are not me
yet I feel like I'm blowing away

A large deep breath
as I remain and allow
I walk and move
shifting energy around

Heavy focus dazed in and out
I allow myself
I open now
I feel myself challenged again and again,
but I remain here
present, staring

you straight in the eye.
My creation
buckles under my gaze
it tries to play games
but it cannot sustain.

My stomach churns,
skin chilled yet burns
But I remain.
Here, observing
Never truly fading

Burned away
in a fiery haze
yet
I still Remain.

Faded daydream
like continuous clockwork constantly
reaffirming itself in cycles of limitations.
Who is talking
which one is speaking?
The actor of many characters that
have become so real.


The awareness cuts through
and
shows it's not you.
But the patterns still remain,
a flickering between
an old life and the new.

Fluctuations, Frustrations
A Dragon tears apart emotions
A Master tapping on my shoulder
Bewildering, indeed,
But are you going to open?

I snap my fingers
Deep breath, palms extended
Music plays
I move along

What words can describe
these contradicting times?
Layered with clarity
Awkward and confused

But I'm done with managing
False control dismantling
No means of direction
or need for protection

This is all mine

How easy it is to play with distortion
what a misfortune
to pervert such purity
assuredly, this takes maturity  

Open
Open
Open
to all that I am

It does not require definition
Just allow this transition
No force No exertion
This is the simple emersion

There is No Separation
This spirit is mine
This Energy is me
My awareness is no one else's
In my own oneness, I am free

Capture this:

Essence, like multiple personalities
sitting in the same house.

Such intensities of changing rhythms
and feeling that knowing whisper
that it's all okay.

She's angry, she's mad
She wants to cry
Pity, distant loneliness
tired, body aches
happy, dancing
Sensual
Wisdom pours
all at once.

Where were we?
It's hard to say
Would like to go
Would like to stay

It doesn't work to
try to sort your way through
Sift along the waves
As they pull back to you

I AM here
But what I thought was me is fading
which can be odd at times, to say the least

I AM here
and still living in the shading
of an old design, that's not yet released

I AM here
The many rhythms changing
As the tired identity continues obsolete

Farewell my friend
the dissolution will come to end
Now we are free
As you open up to thee

Acquired form appears ambiguous  
with true biology slightly contiguous
layered together in amalgamation
Antiquated DNA disfiguration

The patterns are broken
dynamic expression
beyond attachment
to any creation
I AM that---
I AM.