I have time to waste
                                I'm losing everything
I'm throwing it all away
                                 I'll put it all in a basket
I deserve to be loved
I am loved
                                  Throw me away
                                  Forget about me
Electricity runs through my body
Filling me with intense joy
                                  I ***** everything
                                  I burn like wood
My family is television perfect
                                  I hate them all.
                                  May ******* them
Music is my only solace
Her synthesizers fill me with peace
Her voice has the strength of prophets
                               Useless.
                               Hysterical and useless
                               It's Electric dysentery
Please take me.
Take me to a place between Salvation and Nirvana
That's all I ask of you
                                 Leave me alone
                                 Throw me to hell
                                 Let me be reborn

Lay aside some time
To listen to your body
Let your senses rave
And dance under the sunshine
May your flesh be transcendent

Silence wanted me
I had many things to say
So I left my poems
At the edge of the river
Let water swallow
My empty creations so
Silence would win over me

Let the winds blow on my face
And move me to tears
Let the heartaches of tomorrow
Shatter me to nothing

I shall be the rock on the shore
Shaped by the currents
Glistening black and white
With foam and minerals

I shall be the the mathematical point
Almost non-existent
But is the tower of all creation

I shall be the city of Love
Trembling in faith
And peopled by lovers

Let yesterday's ghosts
Celebrate my failures
Let me be satisfied
To simply be

For existence's sake.

To keep silent is beautiful
Just look at the lilies

And the birds of the air
As they hover over cities

What is there to be said
That hasn't been before?

Who is there to listen
Who hasn't heard more?

We might discover something
That can offer salvation

To our hungry souls
That weary laceration

Or we might end up doing
Something for creation

And to start again
A wild migration

Or we could just walk
In gardens with cups of tea

Pet the stray cats
In the back alley

Watch the seagulls
As they touch the sea

Give water and sugar
To a tired bee

I do not know why
But I believe we'll find purpose

In living in silence
Outside of the circus

I covered my eyes
To avoid the light of God
Abandoned all hope
As I entered with my soul
Drenched. Weighed down by guilt
As squid's ink blacken the sea
Was my vain heart when
God told me to sit with him
God told me to eat with him

I'd rather live in my daydreams
Than live anywhere else
In my daydreams
I am loved fully
In my daydreams
I see the real me

If I could not daydream
I would be lonely
The rapture of love
Would not reach me
Time would ruin my soul
And leave me naked

I will make new daydreams
And soak myself in them
Forget my failures
My ruined promises
And repeat life again
Repeat and repeat and repeat

I will make new daydreams
And truth shall be in them
Not the lies of the crowd
Masquerading as divinity
And I shall live in this truth
Live and live and live

(Dear reader
You will be in my daydreams
As a lover, a monk, or a poet
Or maybe not, it doesn't matter
What matters is the play
Play and play and play)

I'll try walking tonight
In the forest
Without A flashlight
Without any fire
Let the soft moonlight,
The sound of the wind,
The wave of the trees
Be My guide
Let me hear the hoot
Of the owls
The dance of cicadas
See the fireflies
In all its purity

That I may find
Another way
Of being
In the darkness
My body devoured
Without the glory
It had in daylight
The skills useful
During the day
Found useless
Taking the risk
Of a lifetime
To feel a truth
A truth to be
Found only
In the night

I want to be
Found by God
Like a child
Outside the house
For the first time
I shall be
A philosopher who
Rejects reason
But loves unknowing
I shall be the poet
Who revels
In the dark of metaphor
Without interpretation
Or like a saint
Without trust
In the senses

There is a chance
I may get lost
In the forest
Or meet
A fatal injury
Like those who live
In the slopes of volcanoes
I will take the chance
For the sake
Of understanding
For the sake
Of my...

She lived in a town without sunrises and sunsets
Where beauty is erased from the houses and offices


All infrastructure is devoted to might and prosperity
All activity, a collapsing dream, a fading memory


Her skin was translucent, letting in harsh light
Tadpoles multiplied in her garden, frogs had their feasts


Quietly, quietly, quietly. Making sure not to disturb the predators
The dogs and the cats pass them by without a glance


Theodora had a dream. An ambition or a vision?
In this town it makes no difference. 


Everything is set to collapse into a black hole

I woke up inside
A dream of an archangel
Memories of earth
Primeval betwixt visions
Of electric dance
Reflected on a river
I forced shut my eyes
To salvage what reason holds
But was swept away by light

The only thing left to say is
That there is nothing
Left to say, Not today at least
Not to you
Not to the partying crowd
Not to the angry moon
Or the wine glasses
Or the laughing hearts

There is nothing even to do
But wait for the twist of
Morning
Expect that by that time
Perhaps we have found
Something to say

Not just that
There is nothing I could say
Or do
Not too you at least
Not in October

But it is futile for morning
Too long a time
And by that time
All that could be said
Is that
All this time nothing has been said
These are now the rules of our relationship
Shall we start talking now?

You know how I talk in these October nights
No different from February mornings
Where air is good
Or April days
Where the sun is naughty
All the words are perhaps
But they cancel each other out
So?
Shall we start talking now?

When there is in front of us
A sordid mirror
My suit which is a farce
Your dress which is another farce
Drink in hand
Cigarette in another
Untalking. No talking. Detalking
(This is the tragedy of our own unsaying)
Remove, do not revitalize
The closing doors say (our bones say)
The movements of the mouth

In short we are tired
That there is so much to be said
And that there is nothing to be said
It is time for sleeping you say
Lull-laby-the-night-a-way
(and even here you gave up halfway)
To let our bones do the talking
(Or untalking)
It is a pregnant pause
A miscarriage
Nothing
Nothing
Nothing

Clouds have disappeared
And the birds have flown away
What's left is the sun
That dries the rivers and ponds
And leaves me to thirst
And leaves me with no shelter
So it is inside
The realm of creation
And so I harvest my tears

Come to the river
The river knows everything
It contains all shades
Jasper, emerald, sapphire
No past, no future
But a deathless present is
There. Swim and know all
From the mountains to the seas.
Intimate secrets
Are reflected to the sky
Listen closely to its cry

Why do I have to move?
To cause emotions?
To hurt people?
Why do I have to have the ability
To raise butterflies?
To destroy worlds?
Why do I have to be
In a community of bodies?
In an ******* of souls?
Why do I have to be me?
To have this power,
To have a personality.
Why should I have
The ability to break?
To love somebody?
Why this?
Why?

I reject it all

Oh Poem
May you be as radiant
As the sun
Live long and prosper
Be the beacon of my existence

Tell somebody that there was
Somebody who was me
With this body
With this collage of emotions
With this pattern of Love lives

May you be read by somebody,
Anybody with the fever
The fever of solitude
The fever of authenticity

Oh Poem
May you find campsites
With firewood and streams
As you go along the forest
Of human existence

Have the courage
That I do not have
To kiss potential lovers
To drive to the mountains

Grow up
Let go of me forever
You are lovelier
than your creator
And more so stronger

I had a friend who wanted an ordinary life
No shining medals, no fancy degrees, no huge salaries
Just being able to float in the sea of "Just enough"

"What's your idea of a good day?" I asked
"One were I have water, food, and am not bleeding" she replied
I was amused but repulsed at the same time

Still she was a good friend
Her kindness made you believe in angels
That heaven is somehow within reach

I wanted something different
I wanted the stars in my eyes
I wanted everyday to be novels in character

She died a few years ago.
Something was wrong with her liver
She wasn't able to finish college

At the funeral I asked her brother
What was her last words?
What was her life all about?

And he replied
"She said "Scatter my ashes in the sea. Don't grieve but forget about me'"

A chill ran down my spine

Here in the city
Of Lies, a tornado spins
And throws those who hold
On to their own small bodies
Through the blind darkness.
Weighed down by putrefaction
Those who hold nothing
Find themselves changed from reptile
To man to reptile again

Look not at my heart
This casket of selfishness
Look not at my eyes
Vile twins of hate and judgement
Look not at my mouth
Creator of lies from nil
I am a wretched
Being. Living over graves.
Look not at me. Forget me

I suspect that poetry
Will save me from death

That my poems will be
The blueprint to immortality

I shall be reborn as a rhyme
And baptized in metaphor

My body will be of words
And my soul of imagery

And the past is eternalized
As photos save memory

And so will you reader
Be saved by poetry

In every poem you read
There's a whole country

Of angels that will praise
Be of good cheer and be merry

Your eyes will be restored
And be filled with mirth

As the crucifix saves
The ****** on Earth

In the new city
I live with wild longing for
A lover to come.
I yearn for the energy
The lights cannot show
Which pushes me off a bridge.
I am no dreamer
Just nostalgic for the time
When cicadas filled my night

I keep failing
As a friend
I keep failing
As a friend
Like a crushed butterfly
Hysterical and useless
Like spilled perfume
Hysterical and useless
Like a wrecked car
Hysterical and useless
Like chattering teeth
Hysterical and useless
Like acid rain
Hysterical and useless
I keep failing
As a friend
I keep failing
As a friend

I don't want the world illuminated
Give me scars, games of hide and seek
And badly lit roads. Show me distance
Unworldliness, the color of the paranormal.
I want the world as a dream
Hidden in an owl's nest

Turn me into fire
Into a forgotten star
Turn me into sand
Into the seashore of faith
Don't let me be whole
I want to forget myself
And remember you
Only you and nothing else
Send me into hell
Into the darkest heaven
Drag me to the depths
Of my regrets and my sins
Turn me into fire
Let my whole body repent
Turn me into sand
And enslave me forever
In the end, let you
Be the one that's left of me
Let you be the one to be

To live is to choose
One self over another
Aiming for the peak
Only to reach a dark cave
Die. My back towards the sun

Blood goes round and round
Inside my heart there's a great sound

I am a flower quickly fading
Constantly lost, constantly aching

What does God want from me?
I exist like a stone, a failure to be

Falling from heaven to the ground
With no real thoughts, a devil's playground

I eat alone in cafeterias forgotten
Wearing old clothes, loose cotton

What's left of me is dull pain
A rotting cancer of the brain

I try to walk and exist in truth
And drink pharmaceuticals to sooth

The burning feeling in my body
While I waste away my money

What will tomorrow bring?
Will the birds once again sing?

Will I be able to lift myself?
And find a place in the world's shelf?

Do not enter. Leave this place
And please do not remember my face

And I weep at the universe
The writings
Of a horrified prophet
Flailing like black ships
On the edge of a forgotten lake
His speech
Is the screech
Of a mad mountain lion

I dragged my dying body up the hill and watched helplessly as it loses its power. Tears of blood flowed down my cheeks. My muscles weak, my body drenched in blood.  Why did I do to deserve this? Wasn't all my effort enough? I remember the words of my mother. Her sweet voice making my body tremble. I remember my aunts and uncles and their praises. I reached the summit but at what cost? In the sky, vultures circle around me, waiting for me to let go of the dying body. Should I let them have it? I'm close to the castle. Maybe I still have time? Maybe I still have energy? Maybe it was all for nothing? I collapse. I embrace the dying body and surrender to my fate. Should I smile like Sisyphus? Or sacrifice everything like Abraham?


My eyes open. I lost consciousness. I lost consciousness and am now awake. The body already cold in my arms. I had a dream. Men and women in white dancing. Sunflowers around a road. Archangels with golden hair blowing trumpets throughout a promised land. But my body is dead. I shall let it go and go to the next town. I shall bury it in a shallow grave and let the elements run their course

Humanity is not composed of winners and losers
It is composed of gemstones
Of varied shapes and colors
Blending like waves
In the eyes of God
Reflecting His face

So it is that you are obligated
To love your neighbor as yourself
To kiss each stone you meet
In the face
With sweet devotion

So then dear poet
Concern yourself not with fame
Nor personal glory
But in sharing
With the world
The brightest colors

All I really want
Is to make someone write
That somebody, somewhere
May find in my poems
A hopeful thought
A new reality
A special swagger

Or simply to make someone smile
Halfway around the world
With eyes on the screen
A tiny jewel to take through the day
To help navigate this pandemic
Lifting up someone's mood
Just for a little while

But my deep desire
Is to be remembered by the universe
That my poems will touch
Another human permanently
And that touch like perfume
Will spread outward
Across time and space forever

It is a selfish ambition
And reality sends me to tears
To know I am nobody
That my poems will be thrown
Into the dustbin of infinity
And shall be dissolved into atoms
Never to be read ever again

Something to think through
When anxiety breaks you
What would Jesus do?

My heart shakes like a flame. Always rapacious, never still.
My brain is the ocean, always waving, never filled
In my body they're never at peace, always trying to ruin the other
My soul are roots that reach down to my being's ether
That being? A child scared, without his mother

It is our mad fate
That conciousness
Unlived and unexiled
Rules

Like a prophet
Whose songs
Cry out in the dark
We stand

Defeated in exile
In front of
An aged mirror
Confused

We press forward
Sinking
In the presence
Of the absolute

Have you met your cousin
Betelguese?
She said Hi, the way stars do
Bearing brightly burning light

What about the pulsars
Spinning ballerinas
Of the far end of space?
They're your cousins too

Saturn would like to chat
With you
Missing your warm hug
He tries to hug himself

Yes they are all our relatives
Didn't you know
We are all sons of the deathless
Isn't it nice to be so?

I have felt the stars' brutality
Sting my mind and body

Tears flow out red from my eyes
Tired of your stupid lies

I gave you food to eat
You left me in pain on the street

I followed your laws and decrees
You had my friends hanging on trees

You gaslit me, you told me what to do
When in the end, you know what's true

Betelgeuse tell me he's sorry
I do not believe his story

I am angry at all of you
What is there left to do?

It's either you or me who die
It will be decided after I cry

Stars of the milky way
Hope that you have time to pray

Because I'm stronger than you all
By my words alone, you will fall

Do not ignore me
Look at me, your creation!
Embrace my body
That I may be yours fully
I have gone astray
In the ocean of regret
Drenched in coral sound
Swallowed by the swirl of death
Let me hear the songs
That the seagulls offer you
Kiss my yearning lips
And whisper grace into my ear!
My tongue on your chest
Look not at me as a slave
But as the blood to your heart
Please forget my sins
But remember my kisses
As the rocks remember waves

I am a chicken
Trapped in a cage
I see no way out
(What is out?)

I am surrounded
By chicken heads
We are one creature
(What is one?)

I hear unpleasant-
Ness. Something in
This body aches
(Am I the world?)

I feel cold metal
I feel heat
I feel nothing
(What is feeling?)

The hour of mourning
Comes frozen in cool amber
Your love is nowhere
But left a solemn letter
You gaze to the sky
With the eye of a leopard
Try and try you might
But you sink down the water
Of regret and repentance

God is when
A child shares his food
With another
Filling both with joy

God is when
A poet rewrites
An old poem and
Shares it with others

God is when
Mushrooms grow
Red and white from
The corpse of a tree

God is when
Workers come
Together and fight
For one fallen

God is when
Comets crash
On a young planet
Filling it with water

God is when
Two atoms combine
To form a compound
Unique in its splendor

God is when
A monk comes
To help one
Close to death

God is when
Musicians perfect
A mozart symphony
In one breath

Let me write a poem for you
Yes, for you only
Let nobody else read it
Hide it from the world
I shall write it on the wall
In blue chalk and let the rain
Wash it away
I shall write it with invisible ink
To be seen only
With ultraviolet light
I want to tell you something
Something that will save you
Here and in the afterlife
I want to ruin your garden
Let your trees grow recklessly
And your flowers grow wild
I want to break you
Turn you into a useless machine
And finally rebuild you
I want to purify your heart
Change the outlines of your soul
And please God
I want to give you a nightmare
Something that will almost **** you
As you try to break free
I want to give you a simple gift
A little thing to cherish
To play with through the night
I don't want recognition
This is more important than that
I want you to learn to be human
So please read my poem
And keep it to yourself
This is for you and for you only
Not for anyone else.

It is when two lovers
Meet in the dark
And exchange kisses

It is when two children
Play without knowing each other
Just living in the moment

It is in the creation
Of a new song
By a rock and roll band

It is in the coming together
Of people in the streets
To protest their rights

It is in the baptism
Of a baby. Joining
The communion of saints

It is in the migration
Of birds to enjoy
The sun's warmth

It is when a father
Comes home from abroad
Bringing new gifts

It is in the death
Of a young man
And his mother's grief

Under the same moon
Warm blood spills out of bodies
Into the dark ground.
Babes are taken from mothers.
Stray dogs **** the weak.
Under the sway of tyrants
Men fight fellow men
To escape the swamp of ****.
Children beg in streets
Where the sick lie naked and
The houses are burnt
For the pockets of the rich.
Under the same sun
Tide goes in and tide goes out
Inside this gift they call life

What remains of my poems
Is stillborn
Wrapped in senseless rhythm
Left to fend for itself
In the realm of thought

What remains of my poems
Is a pause
A seizure of the epileptic
The workmanship of
Industrious fallen angels

Don't talk. Listen
To my heartbeat
Can you hear
My heart's metaphors?
I'm a poem who
Has lost his poeticity
I am a saint who
Has lost his saintliness
Will you still love
Me, after all of this?
Or will you
Throw me away?

Transform the climate
Of my thoughts
That my soul may become
A continent of pure metaphor
Of pure light
I want to be
Like the fish
Who swim in lakes
Not caring about
Poeticity
Away from the
Troubled currents

Do not doubt
My intentions
I only want to love you
To caress your body
Like Ursa Major
Like Saint Francis
With the beasts
May we never
Run out of metaphors
To dance to
So that you may see
Your skin blend into mine

I want to escape from myself
Throw my body away
Leave it to the dogs

I am a scar on the face of this city
A disgrace to my family
I am but dust on this Earth

All my failures have piled up
And my future is a waste
My God has judged me

I have wasted my talents
I am a worn out computer
Useless to the core

Curse the day I was born
Let no one speak of it
May it be forgotten forever

Yet my soul yearns for life
I want to burst into flames
To become a superman

But I shall not let it
I will eat spoiled food
And let myself get sick

For I deserve nothing
Not even a kiss from my mother
Nor the rest of a good day

Throw me away
Throw me away
Throw me away

I shall walk the path
Of those astray
And never come back this way

My mouth is a puddle of filth
My hands are a force of destruction
My belly is a harbinger of greed

I am a failed star
Thrown into the galaxy
With no end in sight

I am an enemy of paradise
A spy of the rotting planet
And a slave of the guilty self

My love, like the moon
Is tired of poets singing
Tired metaphors, sounds
Of desperate longing, glow
In the dark music.
"Let's play a new game", she says
"A game for the moon"
"Should I begin?" I ask her
"Or should we ask the moon first?"

Let death find me
Planting cabbages,
Cooking dinner with a smile,
Drying clothes on a line.

Let death find me
Naked in the cold,
Glowing in the woods,
Talking to bears

Let death find me
Writing poetry,
Dancing on the sun,
Singing to a crowd

Let death find me
magnanimous
Like a saint

I realized that beautiful things
Bring me joy knowing
That I could return
And experience them again
With somebody new
Somebody to love
Someone whose soul is
Of the same substance
As mine

But knowing that I
May never return
Every experience becomes
A drag through loneliness
A coffee cup of pain
Things end
You can never go back
That is all to learn from life

When I met you,
Immediately I placed
my sorry head on the
length of your arms.
In a sort of restless sleep in which
I failed to notice
your enormity,
A tower
with its gallant roots
gouged greatly into the soil.

I failed to see your completeness.
The subtle intensity of
A face owned, stored, loved by many other faces.
The intricacy of your
many friendships remembered
and unrestrained,

of your Loved ones
dead and undead
Spread across the
counting of your time
and
how they were able to
power your eyes

The great lighthouse.


Where I stand
I can see its immense power
Its innumerable capabilities
To destroy and
to create

The garden of Love
Is in a cemetery
Mourners come visit
With black clothes and Bibles
To sit and be still
To speak of sweet memories
There's no gardener
The flowers have become wild
Reaching the mouths of angels

I do love thee
This temple of mine
Of flesh and bone
Created

Whose measurements
And motions I must
Take care with no
Restrictions

Do not forget
Its solemn needs else
It could not perform

Its solemn industries
Without pain and
Constant scorn

I must eat well
Live well
Measure, rest
Reflect and
Move my body

As was designed
For many years
Before death
Arrests me