Once a sad song
Told me not to follow
You know I never obey
So I followed your crazy
Blue, green, yellow, brown.
I was colourful
You taught me how to sing
Your ridiculous songs
Until you looked away.
Brought me a guitar
Now you can find me
Playing and singing
Telling not to follow
Florescent light in the early morning.
The sun comes up when the rain stops pouring.
Ticking, brooding clock in my head.
I wrap produce on plastic beds.
Plastic earbuds bring me joy
By vibrating air through the void.
"Fake Plastic Trees" by Radiohead.
I'm reminded and filled with dread.
A podcast speaks on microplastics.
Oceans filled and consequences drastic.
Bothered by the nine to five.
These vibrations keep me alive.
After breaking your heart
I listened to Radiohead, really I was
Still trying to go over
The times you played Radiohead
Once, I was just trying to
Remember the words you said
I just sit
You never played them
More than once
And I will probably
End up playing their music
To someone else
This is also about my past toxic relationship how to me music became an important thing in our relationship so much that I didn’t really know why it was placed there.
Dedication has a name
It was on your ID
But I couldn't see
Because it was too dark
And I didn't want to be a creep
Damaged trust and marriage schemes
Held hostage in each others' dreams
Pinned to walls but flailing still
Forgotten values, failing wills
True love waits, we tell ourselves
True love gladly stacks the shelves
True love sets conditions and
True love does the dishes and
Slowly, slowly, we forget
Just why we're here and who we met
Another notch in wrinkled frowns
Where I keep getting lost and found
In roller-coaster ups and downs
I'm lost and lost and lost and found
Missing flights and toxic tongues
Catharsis found in tar-filled lungs
I lost myself in who I wasn't
And in what true love does and doesn't
Not quite gaslit, not quite safe
Playing back the ancient tape
We envy death for constancy-
Besmirching our own consciences
We forgo our emoluments
Too traumatized by precedents
But hush you tell me, no one knows
The pretzel-bending ways we grow
Forever twisting round and round
Lost and lost and lost and found
Now freaking out, now breaking down
Now glaciers found in evening gowns
Now agonizing 'Who am I?'s
Now dying fire in your eyes
At last the sunset settles debts
We tally up our last regrets
Relenting to incessant ghosts
Abandoning essential posts
Till all that's left is loss and hurt
It burns and burns and burns and burns
And now I choke on orders filled
And mourn alone the youth we killed
I scrape the comb across my nettles
Pricking feelings, bleeding mettle
Finally free from ups and downs,
I find myself on solid ground
Motion Picture Soundtrack by Radiohead
True Love Waits by Radiohead
Rivers by Tallest Man on Earth
I like these dim blue lights
They make me feel at ease
They say the aesthetic isn’t about the reality, but about the mentality
That’s the tricky thing about life you see
What we see and what we feel
Are never nearly the same
Sometimes I’ll just sleep
Daydreamers, Radiohead said they never learn
Beyond the point of no return
Do you know what it’s like
to sit calmly with chaos all around you
because you’re imagining being free
help us survive unbearable realities
They say this is real
But what you feel—
it can heal
It can be as simple as
The aura of these
Dim blue lights
This poem is for whoever finds safety in simplicity, healing in imagination, being able to control your own chaos within you and around you with the power of your own mind and soul— that is something no one can take away from you— what you choose to feel.
Insanity creeping up behind me.
On the soft note
I become the victim.
The colors of the rainbow are changing.
The colors are changing.
The Words Are Wrong
The words are wrong, in this Radiohead song;
The words are wrong, in this Radiohead song.
The words are wrong; she wears me out.
The words are wrong, in this Radiohead song.
(C)2011 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
the sweeping, disfigured noise
once a muddied succession of numbers (0101101, et cetera)
has long since made its home in a dream;
a blooming curlicue of letters (AECAAEGA, et cetera)
like the intimacy between pen pals.
like spinning plates.
i am STRUGGLING to learn this song on piano so have this instead
He drives a gray Subaru
I get in the passenger seat
He turns on nirvana
I don't want to
But I can't
I begin to weep
He asks what's wrong
I can't explain
He turns it off
I thank him
Water falls from my eyes once more
I shouldn't be in this car
I should be riding my bike beside yours