my emotions
are bone scaffolds;
too weak and old,
keep on breaking,
keep on fixing,
disappointed, unloved,
overdosed with anesthesia,
a disaster in finding a cure
for this dementia

pull me closer
into your arms
hold me tight
don't let me go
till friction stops
till morning sun,
i'll be with you
in a century,
i'll be your peace
of mind—a sanctuary

We experienced struggles in life in order for us to be persistent to what we are planning to build for the future, and to make ourselves stronger than what we have ever thought of.

We cannot deny the fact that we, sometimes, came across of a feeling that we are being left behind, but it should not make us rely on a conclusion that what we can only do is to accept defeat, instead, make up our minds and keep the fire burning in our heads.

As for these struggles unfolded right before my eyes, I knew, it is meant to break my heart but never my aspirations in life. I will do my best, even if best is yet to be found.

nostalgia,
a chain in the past,
keeps pulling me
back and forth,
the pain haunts me
but still, i long
for your warmth

i remember
sitting on the curb,
sipping a venti café latte,
and pulled
the last cigarette out
of my patched-up
leather jacket,

i waited on you,
but it rained

my hand upon
my head, i placed
and ran fast
to the side street
near the crossroads,

the rain pummeled
the concretes,
crackles of thunder
at the distance,

i was
on my way home,
i supposed,
but i missed
the taxicab,

i remember
sitting on the curb,
soaking wet
in the rain,
tried to light up
the last cigarette,
and the coffee
gone cold,

i waited on you,
but you never came

i left a love letter at your closet,
to let these feelings
be known,
of being blessed
and ecstatic, a woman
of your existence,
i found

someone
who holds me
so dearly, despite
being ill-tempered

someone
who would grasp
every moment
with me, even
in the darkest of days
unfold

someone
who understands me
in times, i could not
understand
myself either

someone
who hugs me
so tight, when i feel
the deepest despair
i could no longer
fathom

i left a love letter at your closet,
to let these feelings
be known,
in every
morning breath we take,
of you, you alone,
my salvation

i love you
for a lifetime of bless,
forever, as it might,
often could not stand
the changes of life,
but i love you, as always
as the moon dies
to meet
the dawning light

the sun kisses
the ocean—
it bleeds farewell
for the night,

the fragrance
of the breeze—
our fingers
entwined,

part of the journey
is the end—
rest your head
on my shoulder,
till your last breath,
till our destinies
meet again

we once dreamed of a paradise,
those sunsets and sunrise;
but of these tears we couldn't hide,
i'll always be by your side

a place where all lost hope is found,
chances beneath the ground;
but of these failures in dawning light,
i'll seek courage to fight

we've imagined beautiful sceneries,
to escape from all the miseries;
but of these mysteries sudden unfold,
i'll offer my life till we're old

we once dreamed of a paradise,
those sunsets and sunrise;
but of these chaos like a caged dove;
i'll build paradise with our love

wanting while not wanting you
these scars stained my heart,
but wanting while not wanting you
gives me the courage to start

wanting while not wanting you
i'll just keep this steady pace,
but wanting while not wanting you
slowly filling the empty space

wanting while not wanting you
i have reasons not to fall,
but wanting while not wanting you
is just denying the inevitable

wanting while not wanting you
is what i ever long before,
but wanting while not wanting you
makes me want you even more

your languor
for our elation;

your torment
for our delight;

your debts
for our salvation;

your hunger
for our appetite

the good thing about being lied
is you'll learn how
to cry
in silhouetted corner
of your room
that once
was your world—

the good thing about being lied
is you'll know how
to smoke
that piece of cigarette
hiding in your closet
to get rid of his kisses
that still linger
in your breath—

the good thing about being lied
is you'll get hurt so bad
that you'll realize
the feeling
of how it excites you
to be alone again

my legs are heavy
before i even realize
that i'm awake,
words are floating
in my veins
trying to escape
the endless
stream of thought,
imprisoned
beyond the walls
of my mind—
i failed
to pen mysteries
in a blank canvas

she cut her arm
with lonely blades
to feel
the nectar of pain
inside her heart
then hide the scars
to look
perfect again

my eyes betrayed
me again,
unshed tears
engraved
on my face
with pain
and longing,
i've missed you

i'll take
a thousand photos
of your beauty,
you are
every beating
of my heart
camera clicks
hola!
i'm camtivated

As fireworks
kissed the stars,
may it bring
peace and love
to every
aching heart.

i
could have
written hundred
of poems

i
could have
seen thousand
of sceneries

i
could have
cried million
of tears

but

it
would never
suffice
my deep feeling
of longing
for your embrace

it
would never
ease the pain
of missing your
presence

love is sweet,
love can ****

love is poisonous,
love can heal

love is
dangerously
astounding

love can
make you
in sane
or insane

your breast—
a mountain so high,
i'd drink my saliva
to quench my thirst

cut the strings attached,
burn bridges between us,
paths never will cross again,
hide the tears and pain—

this my love,
the end we might—
to our love story,
i refuse to write

i missed the smell
of your velvet
cotton *******,
and when
my wet fingers
slowly—
gently
pulling it down—
your eyes
closed—
a little moan
escaping
from your breath

i love when it rains
in waning moonlight,
spending time
with you in bed;
tight hugs,
purple kisses,
legs apart—
getting wet

midnight skies,
insatiable emotions

found ourselves
in tangled arms

musings on
lust and love;

love is not a need
but a feeling

lust makes our love
more compelling

they say
money can't
buy happiness,

but if only
i could buy
even just
a piece,

i would,
i badly
need it

i am
a pen

afraid
of loving

like how
the ink

kisses
the blank
paper

but dies
and
leave me

for
my words
to live

in poetry

why do
i love coffee
when it rains?

why do
i still love you
even it pains?

my hands
bleed
poetry

i write
her
miseries

time is
the nemesis
in our story

but i always
choose you,
my poison

i believe in promises,
it's the wind i would grasp
tightly in my hand,
the depth of an ocean
i would drown to,

i believe in promises,
it's a dream i would wallow
in visions of my sleep,
a morning at my window
i would wake up to,

tomorrow
may not be certain,
still, i believe in it
even if it's made
to be broken

sunrise
and sunset
are waiting
for you
to forgive

tulips
have bloomed
in spring

but still
the smoke
of cigarette
that lingers
in your breath
and half-empty
glass of whiskey
know

you're hiding
a ton of pain

build your defenses
as infrangible as

great wall of china
along the himalayan
mountain range

𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦
𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘴

you alone are
my favorite
kind of pain

if you hate
𝘣𝘳𝘶𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘴,
𝘴𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴
and 𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘴,
then you are
not ready
to have 𝘱𝘦𝘵𝘴
in your life

how do
i cure
my depression:

𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘥𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘬

lighten the load
of your luggage
of insecurities

the government
is not
your enemy
but
yourself

Lost in the midst of oblivion,
writings on the walls
are depiction of excruciation
I condoned,
with this question
clawing on my tongue:

"𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯
𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘴,
𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘭𝘷𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯?"

The devil in my mirrors
has its beguiling wings,
now slowly burning
for I found my angel.

i recognize
this place,
it reminds me
of how
our love story
began
and ends

there was once
me and you
against the world

now there is
me against you
who once my world

you can't always stay
on
𝘴𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘺 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦
𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦.

you must also savvy
how
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯
𝘵𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦.

her words
are savory
i might
devour,

but i
should escape
from her
maneuvers

The remnants of memories
can be so addictive
like 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘰𝘯
𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘴,
and you,
alone in dark place
𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴
𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘥𝘦,
longing to walk
by the shore,
to feel
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘮 𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦
𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘻𝘦,
to listen
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘤 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥
𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘴
until the dawning light
appears before your eyes,
to find an escape
for you are caught
𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘥𝘭𝘦
𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘤𝘦𝘢𝘯
𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘬𝘺.

I write poetry
in the midst of solitude

of infinite miseries
I yearned to elude

words engraved
in a rose-kissed canvas

are fragments of hidden
memoir of the past.

Cherish the scar
that once puzzled
you to believe.

Cherish the scar
that once vexed
you to forgive.

Cherish the scar
that once broke
your heart.

Cherish the scar
that once ripped
you apart.

Cherish the scar
that once was
your haven.

Cherish the scar
for you to take
the risk again.

A beautiful victim
of poisonous greed,
hurt, *****, abused
but was known to be
a monstrous villain.

Memories
were made
to die,
like the sun
bid the moon
goodbye.