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32.3k · Feb 2015
Crush
Jeuden Totanes Feb 2015
You gorgeous *******.
I like you.
8.8k · May 2014
Cupcakes and Blood
Jeuden Totanes May 2014
I went to bake some cupcakes
I was in such a merry mood
I miss the sweet creamy taste
I miss the smell of food

Human food, Monster food
Oh, its just the same
What matters is how to make it good
I call this a cooking game

A cup of flesh, and mix it well
Those smelly rotten eggs
Light the fire, the flames of hell
Let's chop these human legs

Ahh, fresh flour - I stole from the store
A little bit of sugar, a little bit of salt
Let's knead the dough, let's fetch the coal
Surely, this is not my fault

For a sudden twist, I suddenly thought
Why not stir-in some blood
The jar of of red, I quickly sought
Where's that stirring rod?

So I baked it in the ancient oven
And waited for some time
Ping! It sprung open!
Now let's give it a try!

Nothing like a meal
For a hungry half-breed
Wasn't such a deal
It was just what I need

Nothing like a Sunday
When you're not feeling mad
Nothing like cupcakes
Nothing like fresh blood

Oh, human bones!
Ack! Ugghh!!
I'm a monster,, and I find this offesive.. haha lol
6.0k · May 2014
summer heat
Jeuden Totanes May 2014
....

summer heat
pulsing in these veins
searing and revolting
emanating from the keyboard

radiating within
this hopeless romantic
charring the barren heart

but hope will suffice

the summer heat in her eyes..
it's gettin' hot in herr
5.7k · Feb 2014
Stalker
Jeuden Totanes Feb 2014
I saw you today
Wearing your school uniform
You saw me and called me
I came to you
You just smiled
At school you said goodbye
You left me again
And so I waited
Later you arrived
But it seemed like destiny
Was bound to separate us
Because you went away
With somebody I know
It has been like that
For years, and years to come
You come, you go
You smile
Sometimes you would frown
I would watch you go home
You don’t even say goodbye
You can’t even say Thank You
But it’s alright
There are still many others out there
Waiting for me
People like you who need me
I know your name
Your friend’s name
Your favorite color
I know what scent you wear
The way you comb your hair
The way you walk
And talk
But then I know
That I need you and you need me
Always crossing roads
Hoping you’d call me again
Hoping that one day you’d smile
That one day you would know my name too
Though that chance may be vague
For our ways are different
And you might not care at all
I’m always here waiting
And still I am hoping
That one day you would appreciate my existence
As a mere pedicab driver.
thanks for the hearts! <3    

love pinoy :)
3.6k · Jun 2015
Unicorns came pooping
Jeuden Totanes Jun 2015
Yesterday
America raised a rainbow banner.

I woke up today.
Facebook wasn't blue anymore.

Unicorns came pooping all over my friends faces.
Love wins.
2.7k · Aug 2014
Meaningless
Jeuden Totanes Aug 2014
the title
                of this poem
       is
                               meaningless...
meaningless and its meaning does not mean everything, anything or something but everything or anything or something..
1.9k · Mar 2014
Forest
Jeuden Totanes Mar 2014
The old woodland was a canvass mess
Shadows and light of a verdant dress
Branches tangled with leaves of the day
Flowers sprouted from the dark gray

The birds flew about, chirping in chorus
The blurry wings beat off soft focus
And enthrall the forest in glitters and dust
Of wispy air that the breeze would cast

Poppies and daisies alongside tall grasses
Butterflies fluttering in various ill sizes
Furry friends burrowed and climbed
Grace and beauty, perfectly timed

In the forest of old, ancient lores shroud
Like the mist of the north, a thick dark cloud
The sun would shine and hide at night
The forest in splendor- a glorious sight!
1.8k · Apr 2014
Mother
Jeuden Totanes Apr 2014
Her voice is like the ocean
i love it
when she murmurs sweetly
to herself
and her soft speaking
would soothe and calm me down
But sometimes
She can get really loud
like the seas
roaring in a storm

Her hair varies
She wakes up like Bob Marley
brushes it
goes to work
wearing it like any ordinary woman
when she comes home
her hair reminds me
of dry fuzzy grass
during hot summer months

Her hands are always busy
Scrubbing, writing, cooking
It's almost rough
like sandpaper
but when sometimes
she holds me with care
They're like the
velvet palms I don't wanna let go

Mother's eyes
They are windows of an old dungeon
and a strong person
is locked and lonely inside
but sometimes
her eyes seem to sparkle
and sing
and I hate it when I see
beads of water
trailing on her cheeks

Mother
A powerful soul,
who molded and taught me
about life, about this world
with her voice,
her hands,
her eyes

Mother
who cared and scolded
I miss her tender kisses
her warm hugs
which I get often
when i was still small

I know I've grown up,
It's not that it's awkward
I hate that it has changed this way
but I also know
deep inside
that worn-out soul
still lies a burning flame
of love and parently care

I just know that.
Mother knows that.
Only time will tell.
Only time will show.

But I am afraid of waiting.
I am afraid it might be too late.
Even if they say, it's never too late.

Mother.
Whose heart and spirit has shaped
and formed
the person I am now.
Mother.
Who has been with me through all this time.

My Mother.
The one thing,
The one person,
I can be most proud of.

Mother.
My Mother.
To my most loved Mom. Can't tell this personally, but it's what I feel.. Love You Mom!
1.8k · Aug 2014
Good Morning [10w]
Jeuden Totanes Aug 2014
Another day for us to appreciate the things we have..
good morning folks!
1.7k · Feb 2014
Haikus
Jeuden Totanes Feb 2014
Cherry Blossoms fall
As we pass by the stone bridge
Hanging pink curtains

Fishes in the pond
White, black and clean red markings
Making small ripples

Mother’s kimonos
Of red flowers and grasses
Were velvety silks

The sparrow perched here
On the wooden window pane
Pecking on the grains




Winter came slowly
I strolled by the frozen halls
Blowing on my hands

Spiders spin their webs
Sakura watched quietly
Her eyes glowed dimly

Snow covered rice fields
They climbed Fiji with Father
They did not come back

The window pane fell
Ice melted on the stone floor
They all ran away

My fingers galloped
Water froze in the fish ponds
I weren’t afraid
made this for my school project.. :)
Jeuden Totanes Feb 2015
When he comes around, my girlfriend crumples in pain. Period.
1.5k · May 2014
Vampire
Jeuden Totanes May 2014
.....
...
.

how cunning
this tiny trickle of red
how horrid
this leakage of the dead

don't look at me
with plump red lips
go hide and flee
I might not resist

in dark-ruby richness
it lures the foggy mind
in acrid taste of thickness
it tempts our undead kind

pulsing in the wrist
the scent of human juice
our bloodlust is a feast
an ancient broken truce

so hold your breath
and gaze into my eyes
oh what a shame
a vestal sacrifice

close your eyes
your dreams will end tonight
you will rise
a graceful grandiose sight

.
...
......
blood! gimme blood! haha
1.4k · May 2015
Hopeless Romantic
Jeuden Totanes May 2015
The question is so simple
Do you like me too?
But why can't you answer me?
I hope you would just do.
1.4k · Apr 2014
Wall Clock
Jeuden Totanes Apr 2014
I grab the wooden chair
and pulled it
through rooms
and up the stairs
I kicked the door open
A cold wind blew
the sketches of you
rose to the air
and settled down together
beside my lonely bed

And so I pulled
the chair, and brought it
to the wall
I hesitated for a moment
and heaved out a sigh
I brought up a foot
and forced myself up
until my nose
almost brushed the wall clock

My warm breath
made the clock's glass clouded
Two hands grasped the clock
Two feet managed to stay firm
as I stood on the chair
and dismounted the wall clock

Finally, I sat down
on the chair
on the old wooden chair
and my fingers
found its way
at the clock's back

I twisted, and twisted
and twisted
I closed my eyes
and opened them
to see the clock's hands
revolving counterclockwise

for a second i just stared
and stared
and stared
then closed my eyes
and opened them again
to stare..

My fingers suddenly became tired
and the clock's hands seemed to stop

Tears
fell on its glass
they rolled
and found their way
towards
number 6

the day you left me
the day it ended

the day you died.
1.3k · Jan 2015
flightless nerd
Jeuden Totanes Jan 2015
my wings are creased and crumpled
they are dull and pale and weak
a pair of lifeless curtains
void of colors that you seek

they never flap nor flutter
they cease to make me fly
they've lost their silver luster
i can't remember why...
1.2k · May 2014
The Heartless Reaper
Jeuden Totanes May 2014
.
..
...

I run my fingers through her dreams
I play with her lucid thoughts
I jump on her and make her scream
Make sure she's always lost

Lure her feet in the infinite maze
Trick her eyes and numb her senses
Paralyze her in a steady gaze
Take down all her defenses

To rip her mind, and split the soul
Pull on her ***** hair
Inside the heart, I'll punch a hole
Die. I do not care

Slice the memories in pathetic halves
Cut the queasy consciousness
Toss her to the hungry pups
Lurking in the darkness

I am the nightmare in your sleep
I come when your alone
From the shadows, I will creep
I slide into your home

I love to play and **** the mind
You won't wake up tomorrow
The boogeyman's not to be found
They will all cry in sorrow

This loathsome girl cannot survive
I will drown and drag her deeper
She will not wake, no,  not tonight
But a whole hundred years later

Yes she will cry and she will weep
And I will feed on her
In my dungeons, I will keep
Her mind as a reminder

Of my evil days that will not end
Not today, not ever!
A thousand brains, I will still rend
I am the heartless   reaper!
...
..
.
A midnight creeper! :P
1.2k · May 2014
Killer Groom
Jeuden Totanes May 2014
Finger-like shadows crept
The moon was a yellow gloom
I swear, I really wept
For I knew that it was doom

The tall black silhouette
Stood across the room
The knife was dripping wet
It was the Killer Groom

In a sleek black suit and tie
He cast a nasty grin
Those bony fingers doesn't lie
The corpse was very thin

He took a step, I held my breath
The nightmare of the century
In my house, where's my spouse?
Oh, he's over there -******

He strode and raised the blade
And sent it down, down
I let out a scream, a scream
I saw that his face frowned

He stabbed the pillow on my belly
The knife was stuck for good
Feathers and fluff, the made-up baby
I kicked as hard as I could

He was flat on his back
When I cocked the shotgun
Then, a thunder-crack
His miserable head was gone

I woke up from the nightmare
My make believe horror movie
But there was something that made me stare
My husband, lay there ******

I heard a laugh, an evil laugh
Shivers went up my spine
The bed felt rough, a little bit rough
I realized it's real this time

I pulled the blanket down
The horror was revealed
The baby, all ripped up
My baby has been killed.

Oh what a sight, a glorious sight
My knight has come at last
For ages, I waited for this night
We had remade the past.
i think i am insane,, help me,, somebody,, jeez.. i'm freaking myself out. lol
1.1k · Oct 2014
Jumping
Jeuden Totanes Oct 2014
Love is like

jumping off a cliff.

You fly.

Without knowing

If you'll die

Or live..
1.1k · Nov 2015
Home
Jeuden Totanes Nov 2015
The table waited
For the father and mother
For the merry children
For a splendid dinner
Beside the fire
Where memories flickered
Of roast turkey
And hot cocoa
And a puppy emerging
In a bright parcel
Of red and green
The festive colors

The walls remember
Candle lit evenings
Where stories were told
Under warm blankets
The children would snicker
And laugh in glee
And excitement
As the mother kissed them
And the father said good night

The porch reminiscing
Bright summer days
Where the family
Played joyous games
And sang with the guitar

The yard misses
Seeing the children
In clean uniform
Marching off to school
And coming home
With tired smiles

And the rusty old car
Creaks his hinges
As he weeps
Remembering the father
Who polished and cleaned
During dusty days

And the curtains were weary
For they wanted to move
To let sunlight in
To recapture moments
When the family
Would chase each other
Around the house
Playing hide and seek
Shrieking and exclaiming
In happy voices

The old tree so ancient
Bent over the house
Missing when the son
Would climb his branches
And when in night
He watches them in silence
Camping under his leaves
Huddling each other
In warm plump arms
And when the tree
Peeks in the window
He would see the daughters
Gladly dressing up
For birthday parties

And the doghouse
The wooden old doghouse
Falling apart
Looks at the past
At a little puppy
Licking at his bone
And then coming out
With dozens of other puppies


And the dusty floorboards
Weak and brittle
Will creak at night
Remembering footsteps
Entering and leaving
The grandiose proud door
With a bronze doorknob

And a chandelier would clink
When the wind passes
Filling the house
With flashbacks
Of a new baby
Of graduations
And weddings
And then of noise
Noises of fun
And laughter
And giggles

They cannot remember
The blind day
When everyone vanished
Not a letter of goodbye
Not a wave of the hand
No words no memories
Nothing
Sadness and peace once again

They all sighed
As the sun vanished
In the edge of the neighborhood
They all wept
For the old wood
In the middle of everyone
Waiting for the family
The sad dining table
In ashes and burnt chairs
The table waited
1.0k · May 2014
all hail poetry
Jeuden Totanes May 2014
All hail the paper
cradle of a dreamy thought
we all crumple, we taper
for each poetic ambition fought

All hail the pen
the literary sword of might
fed by ink, hopes of men
the metal downpour of the mind

All hail the silent poet
he screams his words to you
squeezing out a tiny sonnet
from a vessel of binding glue

All hail Hello Poetry
our loyal parchment friend
a fortress of antiquity
a castle to defend..
hearts for Hello Poetry <3 <3 <3
1.0k · May 2014
In the depths of my skull
Jeuden Totanes May 2014
.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

I often think of things
that are seldom looked after
the rusty old seesaw
does it miss the children's laughter?

The strip of  receipt
crying in the dustbin
I feel the strange
the odd
the unseen.
To most are invisible
To me
I am keen

I like to talk to empty wine bottles
I thrill myself when the dead leaves rustle
I touch the life of a living rock
Alone and battered
Peaceful but tough

I smell the crisp bathroom air
Steaming with heat
Believe me, I care

I dance with curtains
in a still afternoon
I sing with the wind
In the chilly evening gloom

Play with the strings of a broken guitar
Run my fingers through
the smoothness of this scar

I merge the worlds
of the living
and the dull
I see them
alive
In the depths
of my skull


...............
defying everything..
927 · Mar 2014
The Library
Jeuden Totanes Mar 2014
The books sat on the shelves
Waiting for centuries
For a warm hand
To unfold their leaves
And shake off the ancient dust

The candles stood afraid
At the top of the shelves
Ever silent, afraid of ignition
Afraid of fire
To light their twisted wicks

The child came
Read the books
Litthe candles
Day and night
For many years

The child came out from the library
Now a strong man
Of wisdom and wit
Brimming with ideas
Brilliant ideas

The candles sighed
The books cried
They created a man
Of good moral
Sacrifice and patience

Then they waited again
For years, unnoticed
And a child once again entered
Lighted the candles
Turned the pages

The man’s son
The man’s grandson
His legacy
The library
Lingered for generations

Not in existence
But in the mind
Always there
Transmitted then relayed
Never forgotten.
868 · Sep 2014
I fell
Jeuden Totanes Sep 2014
...

I fell in love with a mortal
Her stare was cold as ice
Her burning skin was ecstasy
Stars twinkle in her eyes

I fell in love with a mortal
Her name I do not know
Her lips were kind and gentle
But alas! She was a foe

I fell in love with a mortal
Someone I can't embrace
She'll break my heart and crush my soul
Soon, we're parting ways

I fell in love with a mortal
It was cruel and unfair
Though my heart was pure and young
It was a brutal share

I fell in love with a mortal
She does not really know
I fell in love with a mortal
This love might never grow

...
Unrequited love has always been and will always be the worst pain..
798 · Oct 2014
You cannot love me
Jeuden Totanes Oct 2014
You can never love a dreamer
He's always far away
You can never love a seeker
He wanders everyday


Never love a writer
His lines are not for you
His verses are pure lies
His ink is far from true

You cannot love me either
I live in many worlds
A dreamer, seeker, writer
I often break my word..
717 · May 2014
I wonder why
Jeuden Totanes May 2014
I wonder why Cupid aims his love arrows
at quiet lads and innocent lasses
then unrequited love would bring sorrows
of broken hearts and bleeding bruises


I wonder why lovers give scarlet roses
then leave them out in the sun to die
in this game of love somebody loses
then gambles again, for another try


I wonder why my heart beats, still
when it was shattered to million pieces
I feel the adrenalin- a screaming thrill
then I cry when it all ceases


I wonder why people tend to fall
to a false promise or a white lie
will i answer when i receive the call?
would I?


I wonder why..
705 · Jul 2015
when sweet tasted bitter
Jeuden Totanes Jul 2015
diabetic
and losing
a leg

hopeless romantic
and breaking
a heart

maiden by the footstool
crying and mending
a sweet sweet affair
677 · Jul 2014
Not Again
Jeuden Totanes Jul 2014
...

She stood there
wounded
in the rain..

silenced
by mortal pain

Would I still care?
Would I still dare?
A never ending game
of who-knows-when

not again
not again...
637 · Jul 2015
sounds of pain
Jeuden Totanes Jul 2015
I bet you've heard of fingernails
raking chalkboard

And I bet you've heard of spoons and forks
scratching dinner plates

But have you ever heard of promises
slicing calloused hearts?

I have.
615 · Jan 2016
Suicidal Thoughts
Jeuden Totanes Jan 2016
I heard water
Gushing.
Pumping.
Choking.
Little hiccups.

Where is it coming from?

Oh,
It's from my artery.
548 · Jan 2016
To Neverland
Jeuden Totanes Jan 2016
She came and swept me
Away
Like a river in the night
And I succumbed
To her tug
Like a puppy
And i drowned
In the flood
In my blood.
She came and swept me
Away.
531 · Jun 2015
Love Wins
Jeuden Totanes Jun 2015
once there was a boy
who loved a girl



but now there's a man instead
who's in love with another man.
530 · Aug 2014
I weep
Jeuden Totanes Aug 2014
my heart skips a beat
when I see a little
yellow lightning
by the grinning avatar
which is me

my heart double flips
when I see a little
blood red heart
with little numbers
and I weep

the grays and blacks
ashes and shades
shadows in plain
bars and panes
the world they make

a world of dead links
and of
little yellow lightnings
and blood red hearts
and again
I weep..
Thank You hellopoetry for being my world..
469 · Jul 2015
Redundant Insanity [10w]
Jeuden Totanes Jul 2015
This poem has ten words, with the title Redundant Insanity.
453 · Aug 2014
A message to self
Jeuden Totanes Aug 2014
...

You are weird.
But that's cool.
I mean -- hot!

Considering that hotness
is a weird thing.

weird..
452 · Oct 2015
Hey mate,
Jeuden Totanes Oct 2015
I tried a haiku
And it sounds a bit funny
I'm sure you'd agree.
452 · Feb 2014
Daydreams
Jeuden Totanes Feb 2014
I lay atop the hill sighing with the breeze
The scent of grass almost made me sneeze
Daisies and daffodils all around me
Like a bird out of my cage- I was free

The old willow spread out her arms to give me shade
Like the clouds, my troubles seemed to fade
The river, a silver snake that slithered below
Fishes glittered as they went with the flow

Then far ahead, I heard a melodious tone
I wondered and thought if I was alone
I followed the song for it was enthralling
The voice was haunting as it was alluring

I climbed a tree and took a peek
And saw the thing that I truly seek
A maiden and her harp in the middle of nowhere
Golden hair and a skin so fair

I brushed my eyes for I thought I was dreaming
A royal maiden alone in the clearing
Butterflies fluttered and danced around her
Flowers have grown and bloomed beneath her

Awestruck, I fell from my perch
My head throbbed, my stomach lurched
I looked up to see her taken by surprise
Frightened curiosity flashed in her eyes

For a moment we just gazed into each other
My heart pounded and it banged faster
It was her and me joined by destiny
A thing so strange that it overwhelmed me

Her hands in mine, it was suddenly night time
Fireflies glowed against the light of moonshine
We smiled and moved to kiss
A stupid thing, a moment of bliss

I opened my eyes everything seemed still
I found myself on top of the hill
A ridiculous dream, but why do I feel
That just somehow, part of it was real.
450 · Feb 2014
The Tribe
Jeuden Totanes Feb 2014
The drums of the south
Pounding hard with pride
And strings of zebra tails
Would produce notes
And high tunes
As the natives danced
Up and down
Sideways
Around the fire

They brought my eyes
To feast on colors
Of bright canvasses
Bursting vividly
With dark strokes
And light spots

They made me march
Barefoot
On grape barrels
And tomatoes too
Squishing the juice
And producing syrups
Of putrid but sweet
Flavors of wine
And sauce
Of the Mediterranean soil

I marveled on the sight
Of sculptures
On wood and stone
Gods and goddesses
Stood in pace
Still figures
In frozen grace
Strong and exquisite
In complete forms
Of war faces
And grotesque clothes

A girl with dark skin
And pearly white teeth
Offered a drink
In bamboo cup
I thought it was juice
From ambrosia
It was honey water
The sweetest in the world

A gong’s sound echoed
Deep in the halls
Of a stone temple
The villagers ran
Inside huts
Then emerged
With fruits
On top of their heads
They raced to the forest
In winding buffalo paths
I followed

Fruits of the tropics
And fishes
Meat from hunt
Laden in baskets
And bamboo poles
Were laid on the floor
Facing the mountain
Where the god lived

The altar flames rose
Tendrils of fire
From torches
And oil lamps

The rituals
Of sacrifice
For their deity


They bowed low
They chanted
And painted their bodies
With mud and paint

They drank wine
And danced in a circle
Of a stone kept fire
In the stone temple

A trumpet of a beast
Of incredible strength
An elephant
Marched in
On its back was saddled
A man
And a woman
They were wed last night
And they rejoice
And danced
With their people

After a week
I was on a plane
Gazing on the canopies below
The continent
The heart of the world
Of cultures diverse
Simple ways
To enjoy life
And the wonders
Of this world
444 · Jan 2015
bloodstains
Jeuden Totanes Jan 2015
I brandished my crude sword
which was a pen
and wiped away the bloodstains
which were ink
421 · Nov 2015
the night sky
Jeuden Totanes Nov 2015
the night sky
is a cold blanket
the stars- ice pellets
and I am a child
feverish
from nightmares
from heartache
and distress
naked
i'll cry my fears
until the night
is no more
until i
am no more
418 · Feb 2014
The Harvesters
Jeuden Totanes Feb 2014
The fields are heavy of rice grains
Planted during the monsoon rains
Billowing clouds rolled overhead
The golden summer bed

Farmers and their curved sickles
Bare skins with deep wrinkles
Straw hats and sweaty faces
Marched onward on steady paces

I went outside and ran uphill
To where the acacia stood still
I climbed her rough branches
And sat on her broad arches

The flute found its way to my lips
From the strap that was on my hips
I placed my fingers on the note holes
The music of thousand souls

The hymn to the farmers of old
Of long forgotten stories told
Melodies of sharp and mellow
Ranged from joy to sorrow

Under the bright sun as they went
Stiff limbs and backs bent
They heard the song and slowly halted
And turned around with faces twisted

Into smiles and laughter and bright eyes
From weary souls to harvesting rice
They waved their hats into the air
And the wind played with their hair

Father with his broad shoulders cried
Cupping his hands with all his pride
A good harvest this time awaits
Of twining souls and music fates
418 · Sep 2014
Within
Jeuden Totanes Sep 2014
Your muscles shiver
The cold seeps in
Your lips now quiver
In a toxic grin

Your galloping fingers
They came to a halt
Your deadly dark eyes
They knew the little fault

Your mouth was stained
With coffee's breath
The blood in your veins
Pulsing in death

There you lay
In warm white sheets
Your hair is tangled
And coarse like wheat

Let me caress your soul
Let me wipe away the tears
Let me drift like a ghoul
Let me live within your fears..
XOXO
415 · Mar 2014
Moments ago..
Jeuden Totanes Mar 2014
The tin can rattled and rolled
Breaking the dead silence of the night
The street child lonely strolled
Without fear, without fright

Two months ago, his parents died
He was left alone
He was helpless, but naught he cried
He lost the will to mourn

Two weeks ago, he was running
Snatching, robbing, pick-pocketting
Living in the metropolis
Without joy, without bliss

Two days ago he slumped on the floor
Crumpled like paper
Clutching his stomach
No one noticed

Two days ago a boy walked here
Kicking an empty can
Now he lay silent, unmoving
Still, no one noticed

Two hours ago someone found him
People came, from all directions
Murmuring, whispering,
Beside the boy, a lighted candle.
Jeuden Totanes Jun 2014
crush my heart
here, take this rock
smash it quick
this love *****
can't be strong enough
can't be tough

hammer down a wooden stake
end this immortality
i have a knife
come, stab my chest
rip it open
bone, skin, flesh

give me a shot of foul formalin
or a couple of doses
of some lethal toxin
please
do anything
to end this suffering

i must be numb
even just dumb
remove her trails
from this dying heart

under my bed
there is a gun
i will have to ask you
to pull the trigger
aim it steady
i am ready
end this life...
goodbye dear
404 · Feb 2014
Nerissa
Jeuden Totanes Feb 2014
Dead leaves rustled along the sidewalk
I looked around
The chilling breeze made me freeze
To where I stood
I bit my lips hard
It bled
Warm blood dripped to the stone floor
Shadows and mist hovered overhead
Then I saw her
A frail figure inching towards me
Pale as snow
The frightening face of terror
I screamed
No voice came from my mouth
I couldn’t move
Her eyes pinned me to where I was
And as I shake in fear
And panic
She stretched her arms
A hideous grin was sculpted in her face
A glint of metal in her clasp
I know I have wronged her
And she seeks revenge
I fluttered my eyes
I opened them to agonizing pain
A blade quivered on my chest
Blood
I fell face down
She let out a wicked laughter
I felt a stab
Swift as lightning
Nerissa
The black witch of the earth
Tore my chest apart
Pulled out my heart
A clean sacrifice
In the stone temple
Darkness flooded my vision
Bitter death
In the hands of Nerissa
My mother
The black witch of the earth.
My first poem here on Hello Poetry :)
404 · Feb 2014
The Weeping Home
Jeuden Totanes Feb 2014
The table waited
For the father and mother
For the merry children
For a splendid dinner
Beside the fire
Where memories flickered
Of roast turkey
And hot cocoa
And a puppy emerging
In a bright parcel
Of red and green
The festive colors

The walls remember
Candle lit evenings
Where stories were told
Under warm blankets
The children would snicker
And laugh in glee
And excitement
As the mother kissed them
And the father said good night

The porch reminiscing
Bright summer days
Where the family
Played joyous games
And sang with the guitar

The yard misses
Seeing the children
In clean uniform
Marching off to school
And coming home
With tired smiles

And the rusty old car
Creaks his hinges
As he weeps
Remembering the father
Who polished and cleaned
During dusty days

And the curtains were weary
For they wanted to move
To let sunlight in
To recapture moments
When the family
Would chase each other
Around the house
Playing hide and seek
Shrieking and exclaiming
In happy voices

The old tree so ancient
Bent over the house
Missing when the son
Would climb his branches
And when in night
He watches them in silence
Camping under his leaves
Huddling each other
In warm plump arms
And when the tree
Peeks in the window
He would see the daughters
Gladly dressing up
For birthday parties

And the doghouse
The wooden old doghouse
Falling apart
Looks at the past
At a little puppy
Licking at his bone
And then coming out
With dozens of other puppies


And the dusty floorboards
Weak and brittle
Will creak at night
Remembering footsteps
Entering and leaving
The grandiose proud door
With a bronze doorknob

And a chandelier would clink
When the wind passes
Filling the house
With flashbacks
Of a new baby
Of graduations
And weddings
And then of noise
Noises of fun
And laughter
And giggles

They cannot remember
The blind day
When everyone vanished
Not a letter of goodbye
Not a wave of the hand
No words no memories
Nothing
Sadness and peace once again

They all sighed
As the sun vanished
In the edge of the neighborhood
They all wept
For the old wood
In the middle of everyone
Waiting for the family
The sad dining table
With ashes and burnt chairs
The table waited...
385 · Jun 2015
chained to loving pain
Jeuden Totanes Jun 2015
We fought and argued
I screamed f*ck you
I wanted to cry too
but I couldn't.

You told me so
I thought I love you
I wanted to weep too
but I didn't.

I cuddled my pain
And cursed and killed you
I wanted to die too
but I haven't.

I regret kissing you
I regret loving you
I wanted to leave you
but I wouldn't.
384 · May 2014
The Funny Thing
Jeuden Totanes May 2014
The funny thing
I see
In myself

Is when
I try
To write

A poem
That I want
To turn out right

Suddenly
Becomes
A disaster

I cannot like
I hate
Reject

Then something
Like magic
Flows through

And like
Vivid colors
Try to paint

The wrong
I made,
The mistake

Oh
It was
My will

And the
Funny thing
I see

In myself..
374 · Apr 2014
You and I
Jeuden Totanes Apr 2014
You were a flower bud
I was a caterpillar
You said "shoo!"
don't even dare to come closer

So i went away
but you were always in my mind
always
always

Some time had passed
There was this thing called change
I succumbed to it
I do not know why

I was enclosed
inside fine woven cloth
But i could not stop
thinking of you

One day, I got tired of waiting
for nothing
So I pushed and struggled
and forced myself free

Sunlight, I bathed in its glory
Morning dew reminded me
of you
of you

But was is this?
A pair of colored *****
oh they were wings!
Their beauty reminded me of you

I flew, and flew
And searched for you
But you were gone!
Or were you?

A lovely rose bud
has bloomed into you
A red stunning rose
will we ever recognize each other?

I hovered near
to be with you
It was attraction
Yes, we remembered

And I kissed you
And it was joy
And it was the best thing
This life has to offer

Then I saw thorns
You told me to go away
or else
i would be hurt

I did not care
stupid me!
Coz I love you
and nothing matters

Storms come and go
And I always find myself
coming back to you
And you welcomed me

When strangers wanted to pick you
I would flash to action
and startle them
and lead them away

And it was like that
for many times
But then we're growing old
And growing weak

Our last sunset
The rose and the butterfly
stared into the unknown
and then they were gone

with the breeze
to the earth
to the skies
And no one even knew..

Goodbye..
370 · May 2015
Friend
Jeuden Totanes May 2015
I heard a whisper
It came from outside
I tiptoed and I ventured
Not knowing what to find

Then a faint light burst to sunshine
A friendly face so kind
A hand eloped me from the past
The past so far behind

Some summers we spent in bliss
Some winters were so sudden
Not knowing what have we missed
Only to push me deep in again

Now darkness is a warm shelter
Another shell of frozen safety
Its cold and warm and scary
But darkness is so so friendly
369 · Apr 2015
I hope you see
Jeuden Totanes Apr 2015
I hope you see
that a scar has been intricately
etched itself
on the dying walls
of my heart

with every pulse
i hope you feel
that the pain
throbs and dampens
the caring soul
that is me

still yearning and hoping
for change that is bleak
i hope you see
that the young man you left
is now alone
and scared

the promises we held
shattered ornately
colored pieces of memories
on the cold summer floor

i hope you see
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