she was resurrected

and when she found heaven
it was because ink
was splattered
all over
her brown dress.

we call her a notebook.

How to silence the voice
Of an amok fool
How to hush the cry
When you've lost the cool

How to scream into the face
When you don't have the courage
How to move the wall
If you don't have the knowledge

How to put out the fire
Burning within
Flaming tendrils lapping at your soul
How could you win

How can you burst to tears
When you fear the worst
How do you break the spell
Of your parent's curse

You lash your sword blindly
How do you fight
Swamped in self-pity
Can't even bite

Throw a fist? Kick your foot?
Crush the plates?
Try to release forbidden words
What awaits?

Your own blood and flesh
You dare rebel?
How do you care?
When you can't even tell.

White smoke rose from her nostrils
Her arm, covered with red spots
Her hair, the outcrops of earth
Her image- haggard

Red and black she went
Into inns and clubhouses
Playing with cold cash
Stuffing it into her trousers

She threw the cigarette ****
Onto the ground
And squished it
With the heel of her stiletto

Red pair of dry lips
Tired eyes in their sockets
Her voice tried to call out
To the man in the car

He halted and smiled
She took his arm
They exchanged grins
She went into the backseat

A few hours later
She lay still on the bed
The pillow wet with tears
Her clothes on the floor

The man was asleep
So she scurried out of the hellhole
She found her way home
Grandma sat on the rocking chair

She dropped the money
On the old woman’s lap
Then she went inside the room
Where a babe waited

She cradled her baby in her arms
She stared at the calendar
Hanging on the wall
December 25th.

The sea battered the land
Lashing his strong waves
Beating the ragged cliffs
Begging for her love

The earth did not care
For she loved the sun so much
She would stare at him all day
But the sun would always leave

At night, the moon would appear
The clouds try to hide her
From the eyes of men
Always wanting everything

But the little stars just watched
They would giggle and twinkle
Blinking silently
And then exclaiming with joy

Sometimes they would jump
From the black sky
Into the arms of the earth
And the sea, who yearned

Then the sun would come out again
In the morning
Melting away the cold
From last night’s affairs

The rose I gave you that warm spring day
It was pure love, and nothing more to say
We just held hands and said no word
It was just us and the whole wide world

The letter I gave you one bright summer
Far away, I hoped you would remember
Lines of sincerity fragrant and sweet
I never wished that our love would fleet

Away in that autumn, the teddy bear fell
On the dusty floor, and your eyes would well
With tears of mourning, for you missed me
Aching heart, you bled for me

Winter had come, I fought the bitter cold
Numb and painful, my love can’t be more bold
But no news came, not a letter of reply
Please don’t tell me, this is goodbye

It’s springtime again, I knocked on your door
My hair had turned grey, my feet were sore
I had returned, traveled seven seas
To my darling so dear, I fell to my knees

The doorway opened, it wasn't you
But a smiling little girl, with eyes of blue
Mommy, she cried and there you stood
I would have wept if only I could

It’s been twenty years, it was so sudden
So I turned around with my soul broken
The rose, the letter, the teddy bear was gone
So it was goodbye, I should have known

There's a throbbing heart in my chest
There's a numbing brain in my skull
There's toxic blood in my veins
Tell me, how do you sleep
knowing that
You are killing me
slowly

The once fragrant flowers exhaled toxic fumes
The once sweet melody played tragic tunes
The once warm palm of a friend, now bitter cold
No breath could be heard, no arms to hold

Thy comrade fell dead in the sea of people
The sea then fled, in a turbulent ripple
Thy comrade who fought in pen and ink
A life is lost in an unguarded blink

We mourn today, in black and white
The clouds shed rain, ‘twas a forlorn sight
The shovel struck the earth, my heart pounded
Filthy as the dirt, a man’s voice sounded

“He was a good man” he said faking his tears
And then he added, “We’re good friends through years
But as a true friend I know the truth in my heart
It was his own bullet who’d **** him, right from the start

He was sealed in the ground, separate from the world
The world he fought for, with his life and word
In my hand, his pen was pulsing black tint
To fight for human rights, no one has a hint

Let me sing in a siren's voice
The songs of the unknown
To wail like a banshee
For the lost, I will moan

Let me sway with the wind
Toss me high in the skies
So I can search for the place
Where I can grasp my desires

Let me savor this moment
Let me nibble a piece
From this bitter ambrosia
A tonic of bliss, please?

Let me ****** my arm
Into that flaming portal
Take me to paradise
I wish not to be mortal

but most of all

Let me write with my muse
Til this pen spews no more ink
This fellow's insane
surely, don't you think?

They say I am the wind, always passing by
I couldn’t agree more, I heave with a sigh
Some say I am the sea, roaring in turbulence
Or the highlands serene with all its prudence

But some know me as a prince of a clan
Yet some remember the image of an old man
Or a beggar by the street in the hot summer days
A little child playing by the sun’s golden rays

I am the flowers of May, the nymphs once said
I am the shadows and gray, said the undead
The fire of a torch in the darkest dungeons
Or the spike of an ancient ****** bludgeon

The truth is I am all that you see
I am all that you touch, everything that is free
I am crawling with life, I breathe, I feel
I am very long dead, I am the unreal.

The dragons breathed fire in the core of my soul
I smell of rot and decay, as that of a ghoul
I am the cold blade of a knight’s heavy sword
What am I? For I am only a single word.

Praise the mind, the pen and the paper
Oil in the lamp, the fuel of wonder
Everything comes alive, with the softest whisper
Many have failed to render the answer

Read this twice in the 21st century
The following clues are never a mystery
From here, count your footsteps back in time
You’ll pass the guardians of the holy shrine.

Keep in mind that I linger all around you
I am the enigma of the lines which grasp you
I feel you, and touch you and see you
Read again and you’ll see me too.