Hello my darling, how have you arrived, cast from the fire or fleeing from light
Devilish sin and goodness you shield inside
Inspires curiosity within me, of the secrets you hide

I gaze at the swift sparrow,
As it attacks each task with such speed,
And yet remains graceful
It curls within the air,
Its sweet melody caressing my heart
Only stopping, very briefly
Maybe it knows a secret,
The art, of keeping on

Beautiful words and sickly sweet lies
You’re falling through darkness, he’s changing your mind
You’re filled with temptation and with nothing else left
He’s requesting your soul and your very last breath
Though unwise to make deals with the devilish kind
You hand in your contract, read over and signed
In return for this contract he has given you this
Some talent, some sin and a wonderful twist
Of fortune and fame, but know the devil is just
A mastery of trickery and he’ll show you just such
Good luck with your days, though now there a few
You should have known better, he’s now coming for you

If I was braver, I would tell him to stay, tell him to hold me
Because I can't bear anymore time away from him
But im not,
So I will tell him to leave

He said "youre with me"
And in that moment I felt at home in this word which makes outsiders of us all

He knows me like a family home,
And in the dark knows where to go,
Can find the switches without sight,
For times he thinks I need the light

Smiling towards the crooked walls,
He admits, it doesn't have it all,
The roof leaks and pipes creek
The foundations, well at best they're weak

He often senses, the electricity I feel
But says faulty wires are no big deal
He loves his home
And his love shall heal

If that doesn't work and power goes out,
He could never stop to scream and shout,
He always finds that switch once more,
To shed the light, like the times before

Started off normal, for a beautiful girl
She held purity and innocence, which is rare in this world
Couldn't see what was coming, but matured too fast,
This ends in death for a life meant to last

please see
my feet are heavy and dragging
my heart is bitter, unwilling
my hopes crushed and scattered
while my body lays broken and battered
my breath is strained and wheezing
each step taken unforgiving and teasing
so giving up seems alluring and tempting
because this pain just seems unrelenting
but I was told perseverance is key
so i'll keep going, but I disagree

If fluent English is something my dog possessed and could use I think she would say:
Sometimes my human starts breathing really fast, she slams her hands against the floor and she makes strange sad noises, I don't know what to do so I bring her my ball
Sometimes my human does not sleep at night, instead she stares at the ceiling, I hold myself close to her, so when she does fall asleep, I'm there
Sometimes my human gives me bones, a few of them I save for later
Sometimes my human comes home and does not speak to me, instead she stares at walls and sobs, I lick her feet and sometimes it makes her smile
Sometimes my human gives me tasty human food
On my birthday I get brightly colored parcels, there is paper I tear with my teeth and inside there is always something fun or tasty
Sometimes my human does not give me as much affection as I would like, but I love my human and she is mine
I used to have two humans, one has gone but I still remember her and I think my other human does too

If her beauty was on the outside, maybe then she would be heard
If only someone would pause and truly observe
If only he rolled up his sleaves, his cuts would reveal all
If only they noticed, before more would fall
If only teens werent mocked for mental illness
If only this world wanted to notice
They would see shades not only of black and grey
But vibrant colors bleeding, bruised and begging for justice

I wish I could get my hands on you cancer,
Punch you once for all the pain you cause
Once, for the people you've ripped apart
Once, for the broken hearts left in your wake
Once, for the teardrops all cried in your name
Once, for all the things you take,
Like hope... happiness... sanity
Once, for the way you enjoy weaving yourself around peoples bodies
Making yourself at home... even though you were only meant to be a temporary guest
Who should have left once the chemotherapy started to work... or the radiotherapy kicked in
But it didn't did it?
And so I will hurt you until you are a painful mess...
And then cancer, I will strangle you....
Just like you do to others

He held a shaking gun towards me
And I laughed maniacally
Silly lover, don't you see?
You have already burned holes within me, Done much more damage internally
Than that silly gun could ever do

I think I can't be what you want,
My ears never seem to listen  
My heart never lets you in like you want it to
My lips sealed, never saying words you wait to hear
But I love you like no other
I let you in the only way I know how
I pour myself into this like there is no tomorrow
And maybe after this there won't be
Because I don't seem to fix myself like you need me to
What I should do for you seems obvious to others, but not to me
See I may be weak but you are the only person I have ever tried this much for
But I think it won't be enough
Because my love is tainted, with broken pieces of who I am
And it is hard to find a way around that
I understand if you are sick of being a soldier through my love
So I am sorry, but I just don't think i'm enough

Let me tell you something about life,
It is too short
Too short to think about yourself as anything less than amazing
Too short to sit back when you get afraid to leap into the unknown
Too short to beat yourself up about mistakes
It is too short
So get out there and live each moment

You've given me memories that linger, they leave a bitter taste in my mouth and everytime I swallow I am reminded of you.
You've left a sickly residue, placed flashbacks in my mind that spin me into a time I don't want to go back to.
I admit, for a while you filled a hole within me, but it was just temporary, your love was fleeting and unsure and your eyes were always searching for something more.
Because I didn't crave you nor did I dream of passion between us.
We did not share an inseparable love, there was no heat creeping into our cheeks making us blush, there was no lust fueled fire.
It was merely a steady and reliable warmth, something love could never be built off. I liked you for the warmth you gave me but nothing more.
So you need to release me, because I need the part of me that I left with you or maybe that you took from me.

Lip ring touches my lips as we kiss and I am delving into a dangerous world
I cast my logical hesitation away
Knowing im in trouble, he is what you could imagine
Tall, muscular and no good for my feeble heart
With a smile so wonderful and charm quick and addicting
He could lure even the strongest girls
With luxurious bursts of passion and admiration, you are caught within a world of temptation
And my whimpers express that I want more, but I feel like the ending has been predicted
Where I walk a little too far into this enticing world and now when he leaves, I can't find my way out

One step closer, to the edge of insanity, towards the uncertainy, I am walking away from the mediocrity and towards who I want to be.
I am taking each breath, in and out slowly, this air is full of people's dreams that never made it, full of passion that has been sedated and the hopes that have become outdated.
See the children who dreamt of the wildest things ended up growing up and with responsibility on one shoulder and pressure on the other and so the life they discover, is not full of the magical dreams they had once yearned for, their younger escapades now unravel and they forget the life that they had once dreamed of, their hopes now expired and cast away.
And so I seek to escape this mundane maze, this game that life seems to have created, I want to crawl through the loophole.

You were a delicate cactus flower, that showed the unloved cacti could have beauty
You were the singular floating lotus on a lake, encompassing the strength one must have to keep themselves above water
You were the ray of sun, through the clouds so foreboding, giving hope that warmth could be found in the future
And you were the one that covered me with love, soothed my wounds and proved that within myself I could find my own kind of beauty, strength and warmth if i looked hard enough

Lust, the price of you is my sanity
You inspire such dark desire within me
I am enveloped by your luminous fire
So undisciplined and destructive
Have my hands always had this tremor?

Lust, I am chasing a pleasure so sinful and unrefined
Delving into this painful bind
You hold me captivated, injecting me with the addictive need for release
I ache for sheets covered with the sweet scent of unadulterated passion

Lust, see what you have done to me?

You,
Quiet my demons, don't tell me how, I'm scared it's a magic trick
That with rumbling laughter you'll shout "And alakazam you're fixed"
And my demons will slide sickening claws against my chest, unimpressed and wanting revenge....
Against me
"Stupid girl" they say "Trusting so easily"
I hold on to the hope, it's not a trick but something my body is drawn to
To be truthful, around you its hard to keep defences up, my walls crumble in defeat
Your eyes seek out the trust left in me,
And I beg no eyes, don't reveal all and make me weak
Because what if this could all be a mere magic trick
"Ladies and gentleman.... and THAT is how quickly I can get a woman to open up to me"

You say I am enough and more,
Say I am worthy and worth it
Your love, feels at home when given to me
You say I deserve it

I can see only what the world has told me for so long,
That although I hope and dream, good enough is something I could never be
To maybe aim lower, because my broken pieces could never form success,
This mess that I am, will only ever be that…. a mess

GO AHEAD
I say, with light gleaming mischievously in my eyes
Try to change me
Me the girl far too messy
and not quite together
Me the girl too energetic and insistent
Me the girl who doesn't really fit in...
but doesn't really want to
Me the girl who is genuine on the inside
and refuses to become society's fake idea of beauty
Me the girl who laughs...
maybe a bit too much...
in times where silence is needed
ME    THE     GIRL
So go ahead, just you try and change me

Time heals they say, so you must be every second, minute, hour
Tell me lover... how did you obtain this power?
Where a simple graze of your fingertips against me...
Makes each passing second last for eternity
And why, when I'm not with you, do I feel these hours are betraying me?
With you happiness is an aquirable virtue and you seal my wounds leaving me thinking....
Hello time, it's nice to finally meet you

You simply sit there
A miraculous marvel to my eyes
Every movement fascinates me
And i watch hungrily
Never able to get enough of you
Yet always aching to

I am stuck in a tantalizing perception
That perhaps I could have your entirety
And yet you slip through my fingers like sand
And so I stare, wishing for time to slow
Just enough…
So I can momentarily have a proper dose

As your lifeless body lay there,
Your soul is among angels,
Your spirit lives on in the people,
Who you gave memories to,
As your body layed there,
I gave you one last hug,
Your life will live in me,
And I will forever love you, mum.

For every heartbeat I have left in my body,
I will love you
For every syllable that passes through my lips, I promise you this
I will love you
For every stutter when you leave me speechless,
Every daydream that conjures endless possibilities
For every touch and kiss
I promise you this
I will love you
For every moment shared, every love filled stare, baby I swear
I love you

Then I was thinking about you and how you paint my life every colour imaginable,
that you make me feel like the moment when you're running and its effortless and you swear if you ran a little faster you could fly,
you make me smile like suddenly there is a sky of fireflies and their glow is lighting up the whole word,
you make me ache when I am not with you, feel whole when I am and I know that each snowflake is different but you are a snowflake all of your own, not pale or white, you glow and I know when you look at me everything is on show, like suddenly I am a personal library for your viewing only and you are reading every book I have ever owned... and that... well it's terrifying

You look at me and see someone, who is just a bit nervous
Inside though I have organs attempting to commit suicide,
From this tormenting struggle of anxiety
I have legs aching to carry me away from the perceived threat
Of talking, or attempting to act normal
I have a heart that beats too fast, hands that shake too much, a mouth too dry
So when someone says hi
I am left staring, trying to conjure the confidence to reply
But all that occurs is the piercing silence, that shatters through my overactive brain

memories flood my mind,
flashbacks of a kind,
from a time where you and i were perfect.
but these snapshots are merely photoshopped
therefore i am accusing nostalgia of being a ***** liar
nostalgia i thought you were my friend,
a hand to take, when memory lane awaited
to take me back to my past tainted with flaws
but you said no more,
you set out to sugarcoat the darkness,
i want it back, the true memories,
that were messy, that were easy to forget
please nostalgia, don't make me remember
these fake memories, you have surely created to please me
and make me ache for those perfect moments

I have this looming feeling the world will end... after my next breath, next step, next failure
So I constantly expect this implosion, my awaiting doom, this cosmic disaster  
I sense the negativity, look at each strangers pale miserable face and I breathe....
Waiting for the world to end

How about I give up,
Here, have my hands to bind
I guess you've had enough,
Of me wasting 'precious time'
So I lower my defenses, let you in
I will stand in surrender and let you win

But my pride is not sacrificed,
I do not bow to your command,
You are nothing but a coward
I know you get out of hand

So my retaliation will simmer,
One day I'll get you back,
For your 'love' is now nothing but
But a malicious attack

Delicate fingertips grazing skin,
Like soft touch upon wildflower petals,
Holding sunshine within tender palms,
This contact creating blissful flowers,
blooming in lungs once deprived of oxygen,
Your light reaching the dark abyss inside,
Once so desolate now thrives with life

Its alright ma, i only want to die a little bit
To feel like for that brief period of time i have wings
Or maybe a choice, that i could control my life
Even if that choice is the last one i make
Its okay ma, i just want to soar like you told me i could, instead of feeling like a sinking ship

Hello mum,
Can you hear me?
Time cannot heal the wounds created by your death,
Every time I feel familiar with this ache inside of me, isolation claws at my chest and square one greets me again,
The nightmares constantly visit me, in them I see you suffer, then wake to cry tears I wish you could wipe away,
You were wrong, I cannot cope, I am not okay...

Time will heal they say with vigor
But I have found the truth does differ
For time will not mend the broken hearted
Or fix the lovers who have parted
It will not heal words screamed in spite
Or take back wrongs and make them rights
It doesn't provide you strength if craved
Or make the fearfull, in time brave
With day by day and hour by hour
It does not endeavor to empower
Only to create familiarity with pain
In hope one day it shall not remain

Healing, so complicated and never final
I dance freely in the wind, forgetting
When suddenly that painful scar rips open
I am ****** into past regrets and old wounds
Remembering you...
Reunited with square one

Lover this moonlight cascading over your skin, highlights crevices and curves, stirring hunger deep within me,
I have starved for this touch, spent nights empty yet in hope of stumbling upon a love like this to fill the void

He stays near, watching me panic
I cannot pull my threads together
And so I unravel faster than a ball of yarn versus a kitten
My heart providing the thundering beat to this episode
Where panic grips my throat until my saliva chokes me
I sweat profusely, batting the demons he cannot see

You sneer at me, tell me don't get a tattoo,
People will look differently at you
What you haven't considered is that marking my skin like this is the way I'm holding on
Creating something permanent for me in a world so fleeting
It's either this ink on me, or cutting, or death

Within some of us are the story's
Of anxiety, depression, ocd or eating disorders
Judging voices, let me tell you, we do not need your pressure, or the question of 'can't you just make yourself better?'
Or the phrase it's a phase, we don't seek your attention, we are fighting our battles and do not need condescension
There are days, the act of trying creates an inexplicable ache
And our strenth and perseverence seems to crumble and break
We are mental warriors, not perfect, but fighting for the right to feel okay
So though you are trying, keep your comments at bay

im sorry i get angry at you
when you cant give me what poetry can
poetry holds me late at night
whispering sweet words of loving
poetry listens and reflects all of me
poetry knows me a little to well
and cries with me when my hearts breaking
poetry is all of what i want it to be
im sorry i hate you when you can be what poetry is to me

My life became a whirlwind of what ifs
And after a tornado of destruction and desolation
I am left with the question, what now?

These blankets protect me, the darkness my companion
Here I can avoid all my responsibilities and be bitterly angry that I won't try to function
I can wrap my self loathing around my throat and scream silently for help
Then be upset when no one tries to save me

I want to hide,
Somewhere tragedy can't find me
Somewhere I am free without responsibility
Where mental illness isn't draining
When I still have hope remaining
When every breath comes out with ease
This I am begging you please,
Just take me, I need time
To learn to breathe again

I try to imagine myself as warrior, as fierce, wild and free
Yet some days the tremors grip me and I am left sailing an open ocean while lying under covers
Salty waves harass my body, my open wounds hiss
Yet it is my teardrops that may drown me

Once upon a life too short, I stumbled upon an interesting sort...      
These fragile people, too broken to cope, that sought council and guidence and a thing known as hope
While some found religion which gave out great strength, others found partners who they've loved ever since
But some, they're still searching and I guess so am I, for one thing that will guide me till the day that I die
So I say this to those who are still searching too, I hope you find something that brings hope to you

It's beautiful isn't it
The literacy of other people
When you read it and you feel it
Every moment
Those words rolling off lips
You feel their pain, their love
It is stunning, I am addicted to your poetry
Giving me emotions, my heart beats in time with every stunning syllable
And now I can't get enough
Write more, I need it
It can just be our secret
That I am alive from your poetry
Keeping my heart beating

Sin so sickening yet beckoning you closer,
Its twisted tendrils of temptation seeking your destructive desires,
Your purity is worthless and hidious, it seeks your submission to the sinister
Ferociously endeavoring its newest prisoner
Devouring your sanity, it enters your skin
Surrounded by blackness, you start chasing sin

Staggering down a moonlit road, searching for the end to constant flashbacks,
I'm turning into a trembling mess of memories
Just looking desperately for the golden happiness evading me
My mind toys with our reality and a nightmare filled mayhem
I'm slipping from sanity, I'm begging, take me back when....
Everything was simple

Help, she sobs to the dust filled air
And even though there's no one there
She feels like someone's watching

Her internal screams are never heard
So she splutters out the desperate words
Please can you help, I just need something

But no lifeline is given and no advice shared
She's left on her own again, frightened and scared
She just needed someone, to help ease the pain
But now she's left, to fight alone, for yet another day