his heart flourishing,
while hers' wilting.
his feelings were a lie,
yet hers was real to get core.
he couldn't care less,
couldn't love unless,
she stripped off her clothes;
offering her body,
for a terrible man like him.
she took it as a whim,
thought it was normal;
then he fell for another,
leaving her in the dust.
she thought it's a must,
that in order to love;
you need to give, and give,
until he's satisfied.
she was never justified,
and passed away,
with a broken heart.

oh. you actually reached out.
had me for a second there.
thought this friends fallout
will be the last time i swear-

the last time that i will get hooked
the last time that i will get addicted.
but my mind's fluked.
chasing after attention to be excited-

but all i got?
was extra tears and snot.

feels like everyone's
angry at me
but i ain't aiming my gun
at them
because I'm done
being mad all the time
and i just wanna have fun
so i felt light and happy
and went for a run
for the first time in a few weeks

the urge to somehow
**** myself painlessly
and allow
myself to walk around aimlessly
is starting to
creep up and up
as shampoo
dripped down from my hair
and i say to myself
when...?

anxiety doesn't suddenly appear
it's there because of others
and when we look drear
we try to drag our covers
up and up
hiding our tired faces
because we don't want to cleanup
and show others traces
of our weaknesses

I used to hate mosquitos.
The way the itchiness keeps me on my toes
And the way the rash grows
As I live with a doze

But at least they need me.
At least they craved for me.
At least they're attracted to me.
Unlike everybody else.

I FEEL SO HAPPY TONIGHT
because i'm alone
and i can freely write
and nobody would disown
me just because i wrote
and not being their perfect child
oh and i can gloat
to my friends until we smiled
and laugh till our throats hurt

have always wanted to escape reality-
from disney princess movies as a kid
to being a pre teen feeling real ******
reading all those fantasy books
then discovered romance and ****
as a weird teenager that barely lives
and keeps wanting to cut
myself but I know nobody gives
a single **** about my dreams
because I've always wanted to just fly
or shoot beams
or getting really really high
with dopamine in my veins
because if I met my fated partner in a whole another world
I'll be content for no reason
at all <3

i wanna sleep so badly
after barely sleeping for days
it's as if my sanity is sadly
running away from me

can barely open my eyes now
and i feel like my brain's gonna melt
but i'm not scowling
like i did when i was wide awake though.

it's as if something's possessed me,
made me go a bit insane with a smile.

i cried till
my eyes were swollen
today, and still-
tears are drippin'

wonder how to
stop them from forming
wonder if feeling numb
will stop my emotions from storming

I crave for attention.
Specifically yours.
I'm in love with someone,
someone that I'm not supposed to love.
You.
You gave me a few minutes,
a few minutes of your life.
That's enough for me to fall in love.
With you.
I'm delusional, you see.
Delusional that someone wants me.
That you want me.
I'm trying.
Trying hard to move on.
To move on from this crush.