Magnificent
To be infinite
In the complexity
Of all that surrounds us

Desolating
I'm just existing
In the complexity
Of questioning everything

I didn't change I just woke up
Zoomed in my soul for a close up

So many years it was all wrong
Inside my own body I didn't belong

I succumbed to the fear filled in the air
I acted right and never missed a prayer
I played it safe with great effort and care
But all I could feel was constant despair
Playing it safe was getting me no where

Then one moment that was just like any other
Beauty I never thought I'd discover
I realized my soul was my greatest lover

It's hard to explain how this inner peace feels  
or the type of sensations that it starts to reveal

But you find that the common desires are fake
Distractions that keep you from being awake
We are so scared we might make a mistake
We don't even realize our journeys at stake

If we can just master how to let go
Never stop learning. continue to grow
Let go of everything you may think you know
Rid of the excess and you start to glow

Oh how I've missed the days like this
When more seconds are filled with golden bliss

Amazing how changes of seasons brings
Sunshine reflecting off my angel wings

Take away an hour to get more time
Flowers awaken with coming of springtime
For us all to adore under the sweet hot sunshine

I can be reminded that we are connected
Despite a society vastly infected
With views and beliefs that leave us rejected

You cannot deny the energy that emanates
When lives are filled with light our sun radiates

As a whole we breath a sigh of ease
For now we can stand beneath the swaying trees
Put down the briefcase if you will please
Remember the comfort within the fresh breeze

Spring forward the time so we can remember
How it feels to bask in the sunlight together

For just a little while we can pretend
The world is your oyster as well as your friend
And getting lost amongst sunsets becomes the latest trend

How can you not see the beauty surrounding
My own heart beating with natures low pounding
With oceans so vast they are too deep for sounding
And harmonized beings so angelic it's astounding

But nature has been used for Human exploitation
People lost sight and got obsessed with *******
They no longer can tune into the higher vibration
And faster then ever we're destroying our foundation  

Mother Earth is crying as she is disappearing
Too much damage that she has been enduring
No significant change yet to happen I am fearing
the dying of her abundance, in the end we are nearing

I'm in love with places I haven't seen
Haven't walked
Haven't felt the air on my skin

A yearning that won't stop
Since I was a little girl
Walking alone in the flowers
Suddenly aware of all of life's beauty
Before I could even comprehend it

There was something inside me that always knew

Now I am afraid
It will be forever lost
Passing time doesn' forgive
the curiosity of a naive heart

There once was a day from far away
With eyes wide open, nothing was grey

The colors were new and tasted like love
I was filled with warmth like the bright sky above

Everything I touched turned alive with light
So even in darkness I didn't know of fright

My hair grew wildflowers deep within the roots
And wonder in my mind I would often let loose

But some people find the light to be blinding
They've forgotten how to look for the silver lining
They closed up inside so their light started dying
I couldn't find anyone who was worthy of guiding
And the brighter my light the more we were fighting

I learned how to hide my thoughts to myself
I packed up my innocence on the top shelf

More time passed by with no one to share
All of my dreams because nobody cared

Day by day and the nights filled with silence
Solitude quickly became my alliance
And my mind matched my body with numbing compliance

The colors were tasteless and lacked its flavor
No time for daydreams when you have to be braver

Tired of hiding, never to condescend
I waited and waited for the days to end
A mind that is paralyzed from so much pretend
I never noticed my purity on its quick descend

Now here I sit free from the blind
Finally stepping out from the unconscious mind
But I never imaged what I would find

My hair had no flowers, it was now bleak
A heart filled with light had become very weak
There was no more daydreams and no more mystique

I suddenly was sympathetic to the unkind
The ones that with no light, the ones that were blind
When innocence and curiosity are forced to stay behind
There is no promise they will be unconfined

They scary part is if you aren't careful with time
The years spent fighting will steal your young mind

Only left with reminisce of the you that's erased
Forever missing my innocence that's long been misplaced

All so fleeting
Such a big rush
Your lips on mine making me blush

Quick as it came
So there it goes
You and I don't wanna get close

He holds me in ways so tender like new
Said my heart was all he wanted to purse 
i could see in your eyes your feelings were true
But I'm not in love with him 

You wiped away tears stained on my cheek
and made me feel safe at night when I sleep 
Helped me get through the days I was weak 
But I'm not in love with him 

You made my heart sing loudly with laughter 
sat next to me while we stargazed together
talked to me about dreams we would go after
But I'm not in love with him 

I felt your heart sink when you watched me cry
caressed my hair and whispered sweetie pie 
lost in my mind my thoughts were amplified 
But I'm not in love with him

One time the inside of me was dead
only way to stop the jitters in my head
jitters forcing my heart to rip into shreds
Charging my pulse, forcing me to feel red  

One time the quite made me feel calm
Bruises slowly disappearing from my palm
The first time my breathing played like a song
Discovering the difference between what's right and  what's wrong

One time they said that I was too nice
they don't know my heart was once cold as ice
Experience comes with it's own special price
Your childhood would have been my paradise

One time I felt everyone else's pain
I saw how it moves through us like a chain
Fueling it's power through the dead right brain
Making ignorance a comfortable ball and chain

One time I screamed angry at the universe
Seems like being humane is a blessing and curse
Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse
we have normalized a society that should make you averse  

One time I realized it's all worth the fight
It's not so bad to be someone else's light
Despite all the hatred I'll stay polite
because losing your character means losing the fight

I can't deny
Faint and profound
Your gaze upon me made a sound

I can't deny
Sounded divine
Although my enemy was time

I can't deny
As days passed by
Your presence was now amplified

I can't deny
Caught me staring
The sound you made was now blaring

I can't deny
When you touched me
Felt raging and calm like the sea

I can't deny
That my heart swooned
The moment our sound became tuned

I can't deny
I'm terrified
We've been down that road you and I

But despite it all
You still make me fall
Could be my downfall
Still I risk it all
To tear down my wall

It's almost as if we have no purpose in this universe

Digging inside ourselves for a reason to be

And so I'll drift among the stars that have dissipated long before my wishes could catch them falling

And ill try not to stumble as my feet dance to the vibrational rhythm of existence

Because no matter how small I feel I have loved the night sky to deeply to be fearful of the unexplained twilight

I found the key
To being free
Easier said than done you see
The enemy
Looking at me
Through memories of past that won't let me be
Reality
Is so tricky
We can pick and choose what we see
Minds are finicky
Part of their beauty
Balancing being teacher and trainee

There's a knot in the base of my throat.
It plants itself and grows roots inside my lungs.
A thought escapes and the roots ****** against my chest and I'm struggling to breath.
My eyes blurred the world leaving me with distorted images that mix with bleeding colors.
I sit there frozen.
What is this body that leaves me numb?
I despise the thought of being another broken.
Why can't I make my thoughts look prettier?
I couldn't give it what it needed.
I searched for it in the exchanges of whispers as I laid my body down for the boys who wanted their turn.
I searched for it in the moon that illuminates my hair.
It was the only thing I could count on when I looked up.
I dreamt that it would take me in the purple clouds if I could just swing high enough.
Floating like a feather but my heart full and heavy from the moonlight.
But I haven't swung in so long and these roots keep growing.
Weighing my chest down more and i'm scared i'll never get to fly.