I see my reflection in the mirror
Sad eyes that doesn't look like mine
Tear stained cheeks
Pain seeping through my skin
A fake smile on my face
The girl looking back at me
Isn't who I used to be
You can almost see her heart breaking
If you look closely you can see her soul shaking
You can almost hear her screaming inside

What your addicted to
Has convinced you that you need it
You got ****** into a black hole
Disguised as fun
Now you're drowning
Losing your grasp on reality
Keeping you away from the things you want
You choose it over anything else
You let love go
Just so you can be with addiction

I treat you badly because I'm thinking about myself
Im trying to keep you and thats all I think about
Instead of you and your feelings
Its not that I don't care because I do
And I do think about you
But I let my obsessiveness over take that
I guess Im saying I care in a different  way
I worry and obsess that's how I show I care
Through the same questions over and over
The more I ask the more I care
I obsess more when I care more
Its something I need to work on I know
I worry that I worry to much
And its killing me and its killing you
And I'm sorry for that I am

I can't forget you
All I can do is miss you
I love you and I can't stop
My heart doesn't know how to

Your always on my mind
I think about you everyday
In my heart you stay
By my side I want you to lay

I fell for a fool
Turns out I was the fool
For I fell
Just to have my heartbroken

I feel like I'm drowning
Sinking to the bottom
Of the ocean
To heavy to stay a float
Screaming for help
My words drowning me
Panic shoots through my body
As I realize no one can save me
I'm fighting to stay a float
Tiring myself out
I'm dying faster
The more I struggle to stay alive
I'm killing myself trying to save myself

When he left her it never crossed her mind
He'd come back
And it never crossed his that she'd be gone

We were two completely different characters
From different story's
We were never meant to meet
But we wrote our ownstory
Now I know to never do that again
You belong in your world and I belong in mine

I overdose on you
Im like a ****** needing a fix
Doing everything I can to have you
I can't quit you even if I tried
Its heaven and hell your highs and lows
Im addicted to your love
I crave your voice
I can't let you go because I'm so tangled up in you
Ive convinced myself I need you

What if I told you that girl over there.
Yeah the one you just complimented on how skinny she's gotten.
What if I told you that that girl is starving.
Starving in so many ways.
Yes she is hungry. In the literal way and metaphorical way.
She is starving but it goes deeper than that.
She wants to be seen. She wants love. She wants life.
She wants happiness. She wants to be pretty. She wants the things you do.
Hell she doesnt know what it is she wants anymore.
Maybe she is just like you in away.
She cant even pinpoint when she decided this for herself.
Maybe it was the first compliment. The first time a guy looked at her.
The first time someone told her she was pretty.
She wanted to be prettier skinnier better.
She doesnt even realize she is living in hell, or maybe she does and doesnt care.
She wants all these things that much. That she doesnt care.
And you are "feeding" into that with every compliment, every look and every word.
She has made herself weak. Weak in so may ways.
Mentally and physically. Now look again. You see it now. Dont you?
You see the circles the tiredness in her eyes.
Now look again you see the sad the hurt and the pain.
Now look again you see that she is me. Now look again she could easily be you.

You were like a disease
You infected my blood
And made me weak
No matter what i try
I couldn't get over you

When we met I didn't know you were hiding behind a disguise
There was something dark deep inside
When I met the real you there was no turning back
I was in love with your disguise

You hide your smile like you hide your secrets

When I'm drunk I don't have to miss you
Every sip makes me forget you
Your bottled up in the empty bottles
When Liquor runs through my body
I can no longer feel your touch on my skin
When I'm sober it hurts
Because I remember
Your touch your voice
I remember you
I'd rather not be sober
I don't want to feel you not here

I try to let you go
But your in my dreams
My heart beats your name
My soul aches for your love
I see your face everyday
I think about what we could be
Without the pain
You make me happy
But you you break my heart
With everything you do
I dream of a life where you love me back

You say its up to me
To do whats best for me
Open up your eyes
And realize
Your the best for me
Close your eyes and kiss me
Forget your past
And just be with me
You think your protecting me
When really your breaking me

I have this same recurring dream
And you are always in it
Mostly its us cuddled together
Legs over legs
Fingers laced together
You holding me
Sometimes Im crying
Sometimes were laughing
But all the time Im happy with you
I talk about my life
My childhood memories
I want you to know every part of me
Sometimes I want to give up
Because loving you this much hurts
But I can't imagine life without you
Because without you
I couldn't imagine
And that's why it hurts so much

I can't promise forever
I am drifting away
Into infinity
My heart is so far away
What we had is lost

You called me today you probably thought I didn't want to talk
Because I was short and hung up fast
But the sound of your voice took me back to old times
It also made me realize that we can never be how we used to be
That the past is just that and there is no future between us
Your voice still gave me butterflies
My heart started racing like it used to
I wonder what it felt like for you to hear my voice again
And what you thought when I didn't text you back
I didn't do it to be cruel to you or because I didn't want to talk
I did it because I can't handle the sweet sound of your voice
Something so familiar and something I used to call home
Ive worked so hard to get over you
And I can't let all that be wasted just because I hear your voice
You know just how to use your words to get back in my heart
I can't go back to that just to be left again
Just to have to start healing myself again
Because you won't be back for long
It will go back to unanswered messages and missed calls
And I can't shed another tear for you

I Stopped loving you today
I Replayed all the memories
Confronted all the pain
With rain falling down
I let you go
And Found the parts
I had lost while loving you

I remember wanting you so bad
Doing whatever it took to have you
But it faded and I don't know where were going
What we will end up as
I dont know what happened what changed
But I remember right when I felt it
It felt dangerous and sad
I didn't recognize it at first
Now that I have I want it back
I don't know if we can ever be the same
And the worst part is i knew it was gonna tear us apart
but i did it to keep us together

She's empty,She's broken
She's full of regret
Life is not what she wants
She wants to be fixed
But she is scared she is unfixable

I want you to leave
I want you to stay
I want you to kiss me
I want you to go away
I want to love you
I want to hate you
I want to hug you
I want to hit you
I want to make you hurt the way I do
I never want you to hurt

Like a storm you blew into my life
With a smile so sweet
With loving words I can keep
Like all storms
You led a destructive path
The aftermath
Left cracks in my heart
Nothing but tears falling like rain
Dark cloudy days to come

I'm not gonna find you in the bottom of this bottle
Im not gonna see your face in this puff of smoke
So why am I on this downward spiral
I will always love you
Even if you're far away
When your heart belongs to another

The moment I fell in love with you
I didn't land on my feet
I landed on my heart
I fell and I fell hard
Unable to catch myself
And when I landed
You werent there to catch me

She fell and she fell hard
With your lips on her lips
Butterflies flood her stomach  
Hands in her hair
Call her baby girl

I wanna delete you from my memory
So I won't know how much I miss you
Because when you aren't here with me
I feel like I'm dying
I didn't know you before
So why does it hurt so much
When your gone
Why do I miss your smile
I was fine before I knew you
So why am I falling apart without you
Why do I miss the things I never knew before
Why do I want to feel your lips on my lips
Why do I want to feel your body against mine
Why do I crave your smile
Why do I miss everything about you
I count the days until I see you
And when I see you again
Ill feel your lips on mine
Ill feel your body against me
Ill see your smile
And ill take in every part of you

How you tried to make it last
Did you really think it should
Now its time to let it go
Its been coming for to long
You just didn't want to know
Its tearing you apart
Holding on to something gone
Like a guest that stayed to long
Now its time for me to go

I'm falling apart
Here without you
I don't know what to do
Memories of you flooding my mind
Tears flowing from my eyes
Im falling into a million pieces
I close my eyes and imagine
That my heart isn't breaking
That I didn't lose you
This isn't happening

Silly girl what are you doing
You're doing it again
Silly girl you're gonna get hurt
Letting someone in
Silly girl put your guard up
Silly girl what were you thinking
Crazy girl slow down
Your so intense girl
Take a breath girl
Put on the brakes
Girl

It hurts it hurts
It hurts to know its over
What we were
What we are
Nothing last forever
I wanted us to last forever
Tug pull tug pull
I can't take it

I want to be the lyrics to a song
My words flow and relate to peoples thoughts
The lyrics people listen to when they are sad
The lyrics they listen to when they are falling apart
The lyrics that describes their thoughts
I want to be a song for people like me
The sad. The angry. The broken. The confused.
I want to be a song
That makes sense
Right?

Leave again
Just to come back
Be so sweet pull me back in
Leave me again
I'm crying I'm dying
Waiting on you again
Will you be back this time
How long will it last
I'm waiting on the day you don't show back up
That day will be bittersweet
I want you to stay
But coming and going is killing me
What kind of game are you playing
Because I don't know the rules

You left
That was your choice
A choice I had to deal with

Cant you see I'm crying can't you see I'm dying
You see the marks and scars don't you know I'm lying

It piles on and on over the years
Until one day it breaks you
And it all falls apart around you
And the aftermath is unbearable
A girl like me isn't something to break
Im easily broken
So take my shattered pieces and spread them around
Im not picking it up anymore
Its broken and falling out
Im just going to sit and watch like the rest

Why do you do it destroy yourself like you do
Your better than you think you are
You had a past but you do have a future
Don't let your past take it away
Mistakes of a teenage boy running into adult hood
Covered by a smoky drunken haze
Drugs fills your head making it foggy
You take hands fulls of pills to push your fate
The rush the burn the way it makes you feel up
I don't understand it

I want to write a dark and sad poem
But you're making me happy

Ill always have what we had in my memories and thats better than not having it at all.

I wanted you to tell me to stay
I wanted you to fight for me
I wanted you to tell me you loved me
I wanted you to tell me you missed me
I wanted you

Will you catch me if I fall
Will you tell me you fell to
Will you hold me tight and tell me you love me

I like hearing memories of my life better than actually living it that's why I like dreams.

She passed with bright lips
And wet finger nails
Freshly dyed hair
Sad eyes a broken heart
Torn apart
She fell in love
Look at her now

I feel like my insides are broken
I feel like a broken girl
I feel like i am the reason I am broken
I feel like I will fall apart
My broken parts might crumble to pieces
And then I really would be a broken girl

Without you I'm falling apart
With you I'm breaking down
Before you I didn't know what I was missing
I wish I never knew what it felt to be yours
Because now I'm lost

Dark haired girl
White skin that doesn't match
Blue eyes
Surrounded by black
Heart shaped face
Smile so fake
Hides the fact
She wishes to be a memory
She takes her razor and drags it across her skin
To know she is still there
When she's alone in the dark she falls apart
It's became her routine to cry at night
And rip her skin apart
When the red drips from her wrist
And the pain shoots through her
She's alive

My heart says run straight toward you at full speed
My brain says run the other way
I think my heart is winning